From 0e5bbe8453c10bd295947c6333e58c3c04435dfd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2021 01:03:48 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 01/79] Started creating a Quarkus implementation of VileBot1

TODO: Proper handling of lists
---
 pom.xml                                       |   2 +
 quarkus-irc-bot/.gitignore                    |  39 ++
 quarkus-irc-bot/LICENSE.txt                   | 202 ++++++++++
 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml            |  75 ++++
 .../deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java    |  86 +++++
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     | 359 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java       |  57 +++
 quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml                       |  66 ++++
 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml               |  77 ++++
 .../main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java  |  37 ++
 .../vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java        |   5 +
 .../vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java |  10 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java   |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java      |  28 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java |  81 ++++
 .../src/main/resources/META-INF/beans.xml     |   6 +
 vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore                 |   5 +
 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore                    |  39 ++
 .../.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java  | 117 ++++++
 .../.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties     |   2 +
 vilebot-quarkus/README.md                     |  54 +++
 vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml   | 266 +++++++++++++
 vilebot-quarkus/mvnw                          | 310 +++++++++++++++
 vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd                      | 182 +++++++++
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       | 197 ++++++++++
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm            |  54 +++
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar     |  51 +++
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native         |  27 ++
 .../main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless  |  23 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java   | 159 ++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java   |  32 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java    | 145 +++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    | 183 +++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java |  34 ++
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java  |  43 +++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java | 166 ++++++++
 .../vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java         | 160 ++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java |  89 +++++
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        | 181 +++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java   |  27 ++
 .../resources/META-INF/resources/index.html   | 170 +++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   8 +
 vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh     |   2 +
 43 files changed, 3861 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/.gitignore
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/LICENSE.txt
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/resources/META-INF/beans.xml
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/README.md
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
 create mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/mvnw
 create mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
 create mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh

diff --git a/pom.xml b/pom.xml
index 0f014bc5..763a29eb 100644
--- a/pom.xml
+++ b/pom.xml
@@ -12,6 +12,8 @@
 
     <modules>
         <module>vilebot</module>
+        <module>vilebot-quarkus</module>
+        <module>quarkus-irc-bot</module>
     </modules>
 
     <build>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/.gitignore b/quarkus-irc-bot/.gitignore
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..21881e6c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/.gitignore
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+.DS_Store
+target
+*.iml
+.idea
+.settings
+.project
+.classpath
+.vscode/
+*~
+local-test
+out
+lib
+bin
+dependency-reduced-pom.xml
+derby.log
+hotspot.log
+.directory
+.java-version
+.graal-install
+hs_err_pid*.log
+dumps
+*.orig
+*.rej
+.factorypath
+graph-output.dot
+*.swp
+*.swo
+ObjectStore
+.gradle
+build
+docker/distroless/bazel-*
+/.apt_generated_tests/
+quarkus.log
+replay_*.logß
+nbactions.xml
+nb-configuration.xml
+.cache
+/lsp/
+.jbang
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/LICENSE.txt b/quarkus-irc-bot/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d6456956
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,202 @@
+
+                                 Apache License
+                           Version 2.0, January 2004
+                        http://www.apache.org/licenses/
+
+   TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR USE, REPRODUCTION, AND DISTRIBUTION
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diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4ad5e6aa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,75 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<project xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
+         xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance"
+         xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd">
+    <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
+    <parent>
+        <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot-parent</artifactId>
+        <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
+        <relativePath>../pom.xml</relativePath>
+    </parent>
+
+    <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot-deployment</artifactId>
+    <name>Quarkus IRC Bot - Deployment</name>
+
+    <dependencies>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-core-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-arc-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-vertx-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-support-common-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-direct-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-hibernate-validator-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
+            <version>${project.version}</version>
+        </dependency>
+
+    </dependencies>
+
+    <build>
+        <plugins>
+            <plugin>
+                <groupId>org.apache.maven.plugins</groupId>
+                <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
+                <configuration>
+                    <annotationProcessorPaths>
+                        <path>
+                            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+                            <artifactId>quarkus-extension-processor</artifactId>
+                            <version>${quarkus.version}</version>
+                        </path>
+                    </annotationProcessorPaths>
+                </configuration>
+            </plugin>
+        </plugins>
+    </build>
+
+</project>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1fc2e818
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
+import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
+import io.quarkus.gizmo.ClassCreator;
+import io.quarkus.gizmo.MethodCreator;
+import io.quarkus.gizmo.MethodDescriptor;
+import io.quarkus.gizmo.ResultHandle;
+import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
+import org.apache.camel.model.MulticastDefinition;
+import org.apache.camel.model.ProcessorDefinition;
+import org.apache.camel.model.RouteDefinition;
+import org.jboss.jandex.AnnotationInstance;
+import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
+import org.jboss.jandex.IndexView;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.util.*;
+
+public class IrcListenerImplementor {
+    private final IndexView indexView;
+    private final GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput;
+
+    private static final DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
+
+    public IrcListenerImplementor(IndexView indexView, GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput) {
+        this.indexView = indexView;
+        this.classOutput = classOutput;
+    }
+
+    public void generateImplementation() {
+        ClassCreator classCreator = ClassCreator.builder()
+                .className(IRCService.class.getName() + "$ListenerImplementation")
+                .classOutput(classOutput)
+                .superClass(IRCService.class)
+                .build();
+
+        classCreator.addAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class);
+        MethodCreator methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "configure", void.class));
+
+        Map<String, ResultHandle> listeningEndpointMap = getListeningEndpoints(methodCreator);
+
+        listeningEndpointMap.forEach((channel, channelResultHandle) -> {
+            ResultHandle fromResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteBuilder.class, "from", RouteDefinition.class, String.class),
+                    methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
+            ResultHandle multicastResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteDefinition.class, "multicast", MulticastDefinition.class),
+                    fromResultHandle);
+
+            methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "to", ProcessorDefinition.class, String[].class),
+                    multicastResultHandle, getTargetEndpoints(methodCreator, channel));
+        });
+
+        methodCreator.returnValue(null);
+
+        classCreator.close();
+    }
+
+    private Map<String, ResultHandle> getListeningEndpoints(MethodCreator methodCreator) {
+        Set<String> endpointStringValueSet = new HashSet<>();
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView.getAnnotations(onChannelMessageDotName)) {
+            endpointStringValueSet.add(annotationInstance.valueWithDefault(indexView, "channel").asString());
+        }
+
+        Map<String, ResultHandle> out = new HashMap<>(endpointStringValueSet.size());
+        for (String endpointStringValue : endpointStringValueSet) {
+            out.put(endpointStringValue, methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
+                    methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(endpointStringValue)));
+        }
+        return out;
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle getTargetEndpoints(MethodCreator methodCreator, String channelName) {
+        List<ResultHandle> targetEndpointList = new ArrayList<>();
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView.getAnnotations(onChannelMessageDotName)) {
+            if ((annotationInstance.valueWithDefault(indexView, "channel").asString().equals(channelName))) {
+                targetEndpointList.add(methodCreator.load(IrcServiceImplementor.getDirectNameForMethod(annotationInstance.target().asMethod())));
+            }
+        }
+        ResultHandle out = methodCreator.newArray(String.class, targetEndpointList.size());
+        for (int i = 0; i < targetEndpointList.size(); i++) {
+            methodCreator.writeArrayValue(out, i, targetEndpointList.get(i));
+        }
+        return out;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9c9b23ff
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -0,0 +1,359 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
+import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
+import io.quarkus.gizmo.*;
+import io.vertx.codegen.annotations.Nullable;
+import org.apache.camel.Message;
+import org.apache.camel.Predicate;
+import org.apache.camel.Processor;
+import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
+import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+import org.apache.camel.model.*;
+import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
+import org.jboss.jandex.MethodInfo;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.PrintStream;
+import java.lang.reflect.*;
+import java.util.*;
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
+import java.util.function.Function;
+import java.util.regex.Matcher;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+public class IrcServiceImplementor {
+    private final Class<?> ircServiceClass;
+    private final GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput;
+    private ClassCreator classCreator;
+    private MethodCreator methodCreator;
+    private ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle;
+
+    public IrcServiceImplementor(GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput, Class<?> ircServiceClass) {
+        this.ircServiceClass = ircServiceClass;
+        this.classOutput = classOutput;
+    }
+
+    public String generateImplementation() {
+        final String generatedClassName = ircServiceClass.getName() + "$VileBotImplementation";
+        if (ircServiceClass.getAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class) == null) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("IRC Service class (" + ircServiceClass + ") is not @ApplicationScoped. Maybe add @ApplicationScoped?");
+        }
+
+        classCreator = ClassCreator.builder()
+                .className(ircServiceClass.getName() + "$VileBotImplementation")
+                .classOutput(classOutput)
+                .superClass(IRCService.class)
+                .build();
+
+        classCreator.addAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class);
+
+        FieldDescriptor ircServiceField = FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), "ircService", ircServiceClass);
+        classCreator.getFieldCreator(ircServiceField)
+                    .setModifiers(Modifier.PUBLIC)
+                    .addAnnotation(Inject.class);
+
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "configure", void.class));
+        ircServiceResultHandle = methodCreator.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
+
+        for (Method method : ircServiceClass.getDeclaredMethods()) {
+            if (hasIrcServiceAnnotation(method) && !Modifier.isPublic(method.getModifiers())) {
+                throw new IllegalStateException("IRC Service annotation detected on non-public method (" + method.toGenericString() + "). Maybe make the method public?" );
+            }
+            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnChannelMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnChannelMessage(method, annotation));
+        }
+        methodCreator.returnValue(null);
+        classCreator.close();
+        return generatedClassName;
+    }
+
+    private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
+        return method.isAnnotationPresent(OnChannelMessage.class);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Generates code that looks like this:
+     *
+     * <pre>
+     *   Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile(...);
+     *   from("direct:methodId")
+     *       .pipeline()
+     *           .filter(messageTextMatches(pattern.asPredicate()))
+     *           .process(reply(ircMessage -> {
+     *               Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(ircMessage.getMessage());
+     *               Integer intArg = Integer.parseInt(matcher.group("intArg"));
+     *               String stringArg = matcher.group("stringArg");
+     *               return service.theMethod(intArg, stringArg);
+     *           }))
+     *           .to(getChannel("#example"));
+     * </pre>
+     * @param method
+     * @param onChannelMessage
+     */
+    private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannelMessage) {
+        ResultHandle fromChannelResultHandle = fromChannel(method);
+        ResultHandle pipeLineResultHandle = pipeLine(fromChannelResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle patternRegexResultHandle  = methodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()));
+        ResultHandle compiledPatternResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
+                patternRegexResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle compiledPatternPredicateResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "asPredicate", java.util.function.Predicate.class),
+                compiledPatternResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle camelPredicate = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "messageTextMatches", Predicate.class, java.util.function.Predicate.class),
+                methodCreator.getThis(), compiledPatternPredicateResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle filterResultHandle = filter(pipeLineResultHandle, camelPredicate);
+
+        FunctionCreator processorFunctionCreator = methodCreator.createFunction(getFunctionType(method));
+        BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = processorFunctionCreator.getBytecode();
+
+        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessage.class, "getMessage", String.class),
+                processorBytecode.getMethodParam(0));
+
+        ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
+                compiledPatternResultHandle, ircMessageTextResultHandle);
+
+        processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
+                patternMatcherResultHandle);
+
+        ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles = new ResultHandle[method.getParameterCount()];
+        for (int i = 0; i < method.getParameterCount(); i++) {
+            Parameter parameter = method.getParameters()[i];
+            if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessage.class)) {
+                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.getMethodParam(0);
+            } else {
+                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle);
+            }
+        }
+        ResultHandle methodResult = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(method),
+                ircServiceResultHandle, methodArgumentResultHandles);
+        processorBytecode.returnValue(getReturnValue(processorBytecode, method, methodResult));
+
+        ResultHandle processorFunctionResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(getProcessorForMethod(method),
+                methodCreator.getThis(), processorFunctionCreator.getInstance());
+        ResultHandle processorResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "process", ProcessorDefinition.class,
+                Processor.class), filterResultHandle, processorFunctionResultHandle);
+
+        if (!method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
+            toChannel(processorResultHandle, onChannelMessage.channel());
+        }
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Parameter parameter, ResultHandle matcherResultHandle) {
+        ResultHandle parameterNameResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.load(parameter.getName());
+        ResultHandle matcherText = bytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "group", String.class, String.class),
+                matcherResultHandle, parameterNameResultHandle);
+
+        AssignableResultHandle returnValue = bytecodeCreator.createVariable(parameter.getType());
+        BranchResult ifNullBranchResult = bytecodeCreator.ifNull(matcherText);
+        bytecodeCreator = ifNullBranchResult.trueBranch();
+        bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.loadNull());
+        bytecodeCreator = ifNullBranchResult.falseBranch();
+
+        if (parameter.getParameterizedType() instanceof Class) {
+            MethodDescriptor valueParser = getValueOfForType(parameter.getType());
+            bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(valueParser, matcherText));
+        } else if (parameter.getParameterizedType() instanceof ParameterizedType) {
+            ParameterizedType parameterizedType = (ParameterizedType) parameter.getParameterizedType();
+            if (List.class.isAssignableFrom((Class<?>) parameterizedType.getRawType())) {
+                ResultHandle listDelimiterResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.load(getListDelimiter(parameter));
+                ResultHandle itemsArrayResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "split", String[].class, String.class),
+                        matcherText, listDelimiterResultHandle);
+                Class<?> arrayType = (Class<?>) parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0];
+                MethodDescriptor valueParser = getValueOfForType(arrayType);
+                ResultHandle arrayLengthResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.arrayLength(itemsArrayResultHandle);
+                ResultHandle parsedValueListResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.newInstance(MethodDescriptor.ofConstructor(ArrayList.class, int.class),
+                        arrayLengthResultHandle);
+                AssignableResultHandle indexResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.createVariable(int.class);
+                bytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, bytecodeCreator.load(0));
+                WhileLoop whileLoop = bytecodeCreator.whileLoop(conditionFunction -> conditionFunction.ifIntegerLessThan(indexResultHandle, arrayLengthResultHandle));
+
+                BytecodeCreator whileLoopBlock = whileLoop.block();
+                ResultHandle parsedValueResultHandle = whileLoopBlock.invokeStaticMethod(valueParser, whileLoopBlock.readArrayValue(itemsArrayResultHandle, indexResultHandle));
+
+                whileLoopBlock.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(List.class, "add", boolean.class, Object.class),
+                        parsedValueListResultHandle, parsedValueResultHandle);
+                whileLoopBlock.assign(indexResultHandle, whileLoopBlock.increment(indexResultHandle));
+
+                bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, parsedValueListResultHandle);
+            }
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal type (" + parameter.getType() + ") for parameter (" + parameter.getName() + ").");
+        }
+        return returnValue;
+    }
+
+    private MethodDescriptor getValueOfForType(Class<?> type) {
+        if (type.isAssignableFrom(int.class)) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Integer.class, "parseInt", int.class, String.class);
+        } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(long.class)) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Long.class, "parseLong", long.class, String.class);
+        } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
+            // pointless, but makes generated code more readable
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "valueOf", String.class, Object.class);
+        } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(Nick.class)) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Nick.class, "valueOf", Nick.class, String.class);
+        }else if (type.isEnum()) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(type, "valueOf", type, String.class);
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalArgumentException("Invalid type (" + type + ").");
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String patternString) {
+        String splitRegex = "@([a-zA-Z0-9$_]+)";
+        String[] patternStringParts = patternString.split(splitRegex);
+        String remaining = patternString;
+
+        StringBuilder patternRegexBuilder = new StringBuilder("^");
+        for (String part : patternStringParts) {
+            patternRegexBuilder.append(part);
+            remaining = remaining.substring(part.length());
+            if (!remaining.isEmpty()) {
+                int endIndex = 1;
+                while (endIndex < remaining.length() && Character.isJavaIdentifierPart(remaining.charAt(endIndex))) {
+                    endIndex++;
+                }
+                String variableName = remaining.substring(1, endIndex);
+                remaining = remaining.substring(variableName.length() + 1);
+
+                Parameter methodParameter = Arrays.stream(method.getParameters()).filter(parameter -> parameter.getName().equals(variableName))
+                        .findFirst().orElseThrow(() -> new IllegalArgumentException("Expected a parameter with name (" +
+                        variableName + ") on method (" + method.getName()
+                        + ") for pattern (" + patternString + "), but no such parameter exists." ));
+
+                patternRegexBuilder.append("(?<" + variableName + ">" +
+                        getRegexForType(methodParameter, methodParameter.getParameterizedType())
+                        + ")" + ((methodParameter.isAnnotationPresent(Nullable.class))? "?" : ""));
+            }
+        }
+        patternRegexBuilder.append("$");
+        return patternRegexBuilder.toString();
+    }
+
+    private String getListDelimiter(Parameter parameter) {
+        if (parameter.isAnnotationPresent(Delimiter.class)) {
+            return parameter.getAnnotation(Delimiter.class).value();
+        } else {
+            return "\\w";
+        }
+    }
+    private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
+        if (type instanceof Class) {
+            Class<?> parameterType = (Class<?>) type;
+            if (int.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    Integer.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    long.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    Long.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)
+            ) {
+                return "-?\\d+";
+            } else if (String.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)) {
+                if (parameter.isAnnotationPresent(Regex.class)) {
+                    return parameter.getAnnotation(Regex.class).value();
+                } else {
+                    return ".+";
+                }
+            } else if (Nick.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)) {
+                return "(?:x|)(?:[a-zA-Z0-9]+)(?:\\p{Punct}+[a-zA-Z0-9]*|)";
+            } else if (parameterType.isEnum()) {
+                return Arrays.stream(parameterType.getEnumConstants())
+                        .map(Object::toString).collect(Collectors.joining("|"));
+            } else {
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException("Illegal type (" + type + ") on parameter (" + parameter + ")");
+            }
+        } else if (type instanceof ParameterizedType) {
+            ParameterizedType parameterizedType = (ParameterizedType) type;
+            Class<?> rawType = (Class<?>) parameterizedType.getRawType();
+            if (List.class.isAssignableFrom(rawType)) {
+                String innerTypeRegex = "(?:" + getRegexForType(parameter, parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0]) + ")";
+                String collectionDelimiterRegex = getListDelimiter(parameter);
+                return innerTypeRegex + "(?:(?:" + collectionDelimiterRegex +")" + innerTypeRegex + ")*";
+            } else {
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException("Illegal type (" + type + ") on parameter (" + parameter + ")");
+            }
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalArgumentException("Invalid type (" + type + ").");
+        }
+    }
+
+    private MethodDescriptor getProcessorForMethod(Method method) {
+        if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "reply", Processor.class, Function.class);
+        } else if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
+            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "handleMessage", Processor.class, Consumer.class);
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal return type (" + method.getReturnType() + ") for method (" + method.getName() + ").");
+        }
+    }
+
+    private Class<?> getFunctionType(Method method) {
+        if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
+            return Function.class;
+        } else if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
+            return Consumer.class;
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal return type (" + method.getReturnType() + ") for method (" + method.getName() + ").");
+        }
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle getReturnValue(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Method method, ResultHandle methodReturnValue) {
+        if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
+            return null;
+        } else if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
+            return methodReturnValue;
+        } else {
+            return bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "valueOf", String.class, Object.class), methodReturnValue);
+        }
+    }
+
+    public static String getDirectNameForMethod(Method method) {
+        return encodeForDirect(method.getDeclaringClass().getName() + "-" + method.getName() + "-" + Arrays.stream(method.getParameters())
+                    .map(Parameter::getType).map(Class::getName)
+                    .collect(Collectors.joining("-")));
+    }
+
+    public static String getDirectNameForMethod(MethodInfo method) {
+        return encodeForDirect(method.declaringClass().name().toString() + "-" + method.name() + "-" + method.parameters().stream()
+                .map(org.jboss.jandex.Type::name)
+                .map(DotName::toString)
+                .collect(Collectors.joining("-")));
+    }
+
+    private static String encodeForDirect(String name) {
+        return "direct:" + name;
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle fromChannel(Method method) {
+        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteBuilder.class, "from", RouteDefinition.class, String.class),
+                methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(getDirectNameForMethod(method)));
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle toChannel(ResultHandle processorResult, String channel) {
+        ResultHandle theChannel;
+        if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
+            theChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getMainChannel", String.class),
+                    methodCreator.getThis());
+        } else {
+            theChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel",
+                    String.class, String.class), methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(channel));
+        }
+        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "to", ProcessorDefinition.class, String.class),
+                processorResult, theChannel);
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle pipeLine(ResultHandle routeDefinitionResultHandle) {
+        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteDefinition.class, "pipeline", PipelineDefinition.class),
+                routeDefinitionResultHandle);
+    }
+
+    private ResultHandle filter(ResultHandle pipelineDefinitionResultHandle, ResultHandle predicate) {
+        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(PipelineDefinition.class, "filter", FilterDefinition.class,
+                Predicate.class),
+                pipelineDefinitionResultHandle, predicate);
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..efffd116
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -0,0 +1,57 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
+
+import java.util.Collection;
+import java.util.HashSet;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.AdditionalBeanBuildItem;
+import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanBuildItem;
+import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
+import io.quarkus.deployment.annotations.BuildProducer;
+import io.quarkus.deployment.annotations.BuildStep;
+import io.quarkus.deployment.builditem.CombinedIndexBuildItem;
+import io.quarkus.deployment.builditem.FeatureBuildItem;
+import org.jboss.jandex.AnnotationInstance;
+import org.jboss.jandex.ClassInfo;
+import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
+import org.jboss.jandex.IndexView;
+
+class IrcServiceProcessor {
+
+    private static final String FEATURE = "irc-bot";
+
+    @BuildStep
+    FeatureBuildItem feature() {
+        return new FeatureBuildItem(FEATURE);
+    }
+
+    @BuildStep
+    void createIrcServiceImplementations(
+            CombinedIndexBuildItem combinedIndex,
+            BuildProducer<AdditionalBeanBuildItem> additionalBeanConsumer,
+            BuildProducer<GeneratedBeanBuildItem> generatedBeanConsumer) {
+        DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
+        IndexView indexView = combinedIndex.getIndex();
+        GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput = new GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor(generatedBeanConsumer);
+
+        Collection<ClassInfo> classWithAnnotations = new HashSet<>();
+
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView
+                .getAnnotations(onChannelMessageDotName)) {
+            classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
+        }
+
+        for (ClassInfo classInfo : classWithAnnotations) {
+            try {
+                Class<?> ircServiceClass = Class.forName(classInfo.name().toString(), false, Thread.currentThread().getContextClassLoader());
+                IrcServiceImplementor implementor = new IrcServiceImplementor(classOutput, ircServiceClass);
+                implementor.generateImplementation();
+
+            } catch (ClassNotFoundException e) {
+                throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to find class (" + classInfo.name() + ").", e);
+            }
+        }
+        IrcListenerImplementor ircListenerImplementor = new IrcListenerImplementor(indexView, classOutput);
+        ircListenerImplementor.generateImplementation();
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..8984eb90
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,66 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<project xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
+         xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance"
+         xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd">
+    <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
+
+    <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+    <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot-parent</artifactId>
+    <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
+    <name>Quarkus IRC Bot - Parent</name>
+
+    <packaging>pom</packaging>
+
+    <licenses>
+        <license>
+            <name>The Apache Software License, Version 2.0</name>
+            <url>http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0.txt</url>
+            <distribution>repo</distribution>
+        </license>
+    </licenses>
+
+    <properties>
+        <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
+        <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
+        <maven.compiler.release>11</maven.compiler.release>
+        <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
+        <quarkus.version>1.11.1.Final</quarkus.version>
+        <camel-quarkus.version>1.8.1</camel-quarkus.version>
+        <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
+    </properties>
+
+    <modules>
+        <module>deployment</module>
+        <module>runtime</module>
+    </modules>
+
+    <dependencyManagement>
+        <dependencies>
+            <dependency>
+                <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+                <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bom</artifactId>
+                <version>${camel-quarkus.version}</version>
+                <type>pom</type>
+                <scope>import</scope>
+            </dependency>
+            <dependency>
+                <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+                <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
+                <version>${quarkus.version}</version>
+                <type>pom</type>
+                <scope>import</scope>
+            </dependency>
+        </dependencies>
+    </dependencyManagement>
+    <build>
+        <pluginManagement>
+            <plugins>
+                <plugin>
+                    <groupId>org.apache.maven.plugins</groupId>
+                    <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
+                    <version>${compiler-plugin.version}</version>
+                </plugin>
+            </plugins>
+        </pluginManagement>
+    </build>
+</project>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ef8d1d6b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,77 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<project xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
+         xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance"
+         xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd">
+    <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
+    <parent>
+        <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot-parent</artifactId>
+        <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
+        <relativePath>../pom.xml</relativePath>
+    </parent>
+
+    <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
+    <name>Quarkus IRC Bot - Runtime</name>
+
+    <dependencies>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-direct</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-hibernate-validator</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+    </dependencies>
+
+    <build>
+        <plugins>
+            <plugin>
+                <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+                <artifactId>quarkus-bootstrap-maven-plugin</artifactId>
+                <version>${quarkus.version}</version>
+                <executions>
+                    <execution>
+                        <goals>
+                            <goal>extension-descriptor</goal>
+                        </goals>
+                        <phase>compile</phase>
+                        <configuration>
+                            <deployment>${project.groupId}:${project.artifactId}-deployment:${project.version}
+                            </deployment>
+                        </configuration>
+                    </execution>
+                </executions>
+            </plugin>
+            <plugin>
+                <groupId>org.apache.maven.plugins</groupId>
+                <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
+                <configuration>
+                    <annotationProcessorPaths>
+                        <path>
+                            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+                            <artifactId>quarkus-extension-processor</artifactId>
+                            <version>${quarkus.version}</version>
+                        </path>
+                    </annotationProcessorPaths>
+                </configuration>
+            </plugin>
+        </plugins>
+    </build>
+</project>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..bc5974c2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
@@ -0,0 +1,37 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+
+import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+
+import java.util.regex.Matcher;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+
+public class Nick {
+    public static final String regex =  "(?:x|)([a-zA-Z0-9]+)(?:\\p{Punct}+[a-zA-Z0-9]*|)";
+    final String nick;
+    private static final Pattern nickPattern = Pattern.compile( regex );
+
+    public Nick(String nick) {
+        this.nick = nick;
+    }
+
+    public String getBaseNick() {
+        Matcher nickMatcher = nickPattern.matcher( nick );
+        if ( nickMatcher.find() )
+        {
+            return nickMatcher.group( 1 );
+        }
+        return nick;
+    }
+
+    public String getFullNick() {
+        return nick;
+    }
+
+    public static Nick getUser(IrcMessage ircMessage) {
+        return new Nick((String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.user.nick"));
+    }
+
+    public static Nick valueOf(String nick) {
+        return new Nick(nick);
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7ab83764
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+public @interface Delimiter {
+    String value();
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9eaa682b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+public @interface OnChannelMessage {
+    String value();
+    String channel() default "<<default>>";
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..39983126
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+public @interface Regex {
+    String value();
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a518b4f1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+
+public class ChannelMessage {
+    final Nick nick;
+    final String channel;
+    final String message;
+
+    public ChannelMessage(IrcMessage ircMessage) {
+        nick = Nick.valueOf((String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.user.nick"));
+        channel = (String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.target");
+        message = ircMessage.getBody(String.class);
+    }
+
+    public Nick getNick() {
+        return nick;
+    }
+
+    public String getChannel() {
+        return channel;
+    }
+
+    public String getMessage() {
+        return message;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c1ce80d1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,81 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import org.apache.camel.Exchange;
+import org.apache.camel.Predicate;
+import org.apache.camel.Processor;
+import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
+import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.schwering.irc.lib.IRCUser;
+
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
+import java.util.function.Function;
+
+public abstract class IRCService extends RouteBuilder {
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
+    public String ircServer;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.port", defaultValue = "6667")
+    public Integer ircPort;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.nick")
+    public String defaultNick;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.channel")
+    public String defaultChannel;
+
+    public String botNick() {
+        return defaultNick;
+    }
+
+    public Predicate messageTextMatches(java.util.function.Predicate<String> predicate) {
+        return messageMatches(ircMessage -> predicate.test(ircMessage.getMessage()));
+    }
+
+    public Predicate messageMatches(java.util.function.Predicate<ChannelMessage> predicate) {
+        return (exchange) -> {
+            ChannelMessage ircMessage = getChannelMessage(exchange);
+            return predicate.test(ircMessage);
+        };
+    }
+
+    public Processor reply(Function<ChannelMessage, String> replyFunction) {
+        return exchange -> {
+            IrcMessage ircMessage = getIrcMessage(exchange);
+            String reply = replyFunction.apply(new ChannelMessage(ircMessage));
+            if (reply != null) {
+                IrcMessage out = new IrcMessage(ircMessage.getCamelContext());
+                out.setMessage(reply);
+                out.setUser(new IRCUser(botNick(), botNick(), ircServer));
+                exchange.setMessage(out);
+            }
+        };
+    }
+
+    public Processor handleMessage(Consumer<ChannelMessage> consumer) {
+        return exchange -> {
+            ChannelMessage channelMessage = getChannelMessage(exchange);
+            consumer.accept(channelMessage);
+        };
+    }
+
+    public IrcMessage getIrcMessage(Exchange exchange) {
+        return exchange.getIn(IrcMessage.class);
+    }
+
+    public ChannelMessage getChannelMessage(Exchange exchange) {
+        return new ChannelMessage(getIrcMessage(exchange));
+    }
+
+    public String getMainChannel() {
+        return getChannel(defaultChannel);
+    }
+
+    public String getChannel(String channel) {
+        if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
+            return getMainChannel();
+        }
+        return String.format("irc:%s@%s:%d?channels=%s&nickname=%s", botNick(),
+                ircServer, ircPort, channel, botNick());
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/resources/META-INF/beans.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/resources/META-INF/beans.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..8ebcd1aa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/resources/META-INF/beans.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+<beans xmlns="http://xmlns.jcp.org/xml/ns/javaee"
+       xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance"
+       xsi:schemaLocation="http://xmlns.jcp.org/xml/ns/javaee
+		http://xmlns.jcp.org/xml/ns/javaee/beans_1_1.xsd"
+       bean-discovery-mode="all">
+</beans>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore b/vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..94810d00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+*
+!target/*-runner
+!target/*-runner.jar
+!target/lib/*
+!target/quarkus-app/*
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..bdf57ce3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+#Maven
+target/
+pom.xml.tag
+pom.xml.releaseBackup
+pom.xml.versionsBackup
+release.properties
+
+# Eclipse
+.project
+.classpath
+.settings/
+bin/
+
+# IntelliJ
+.idea
+*.ipr
+*.iml
+*.iws
+
+# NetBeans
+nb-configuration.xml
+
+# Visual Studio Code
+.vscode
+.factorypath
+
+# OSX
+.DS_Store
+
+# Vim
+*.swp
+*.swo
+
+# patch
+*.orig
+*.rej
+
+# Local environment
+.env
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java b/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e76d1f32
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
@@ -0,0 +1,117 @@
+/*
+ * Copyright 2007-present the original author or authors.
+ *
+ * Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
+ * you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
+ * You may obtain a copy of the License at
+ *
+ *      https://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
+ *
+ * Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
+ * distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
+ * WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
+ * See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
+ * limitations under the License.
+ */
+import java.net.*;
+import java.io.*;
+import java.nio.channels.*;
+import java.util.Properties;
+
+public class MavenWrapperDownloader {
+
+    private static final String WRAPPER_VERSION = "0.5.6";
+    /**
+     * Default URL to download the maven-wrapper.jar from, if no 'downloadUrl' is provided.
+     */
+    private static final String DEFAULT_DOWNLOAD_URL = "https://repo.maven.apache.org/maven2/io/takari/maven-wrapper/"
+        + WRAPPER_VERSION + "/maven-wrapper-" + WRAPPER_VERSION + ".jar";
+
+    /**
+     * Path to the maven-wrapper.properties file, which might contain a downloadUrl property to
+     * use instead of the default one.
+     */
+    private static final String MAVEN_WRAPPER_PROPERTIES_PATH =
+            ".mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties";
+
+    /**
+     * Path where the maven-wrapper.jar will be saved to.
+     */
+    private static final String MAVEN_WRAPPER_JAR_PATH =
+            ".mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar";
+
+    /**
+     * Name of the property which should be used to override the default download url for the wrapper.
+     */
+    private static final String PROPERTY_NAME_WRAPPER_URL = "wrapperUrl";
+
+    public static void main(String args[]) {
+        System.out.println("- Downloader started");
+        File baseDirectory = new File(args[0]);
+        System.out.println("- Using base directory: " + baseDirectory.getAbsolutePath());
+
+        // If the maven-wrapper.properties exists, read it and check if it contains a custom
+        // wrapperUrl parameter.
+        File mavenWrapperPropertyFile = new File(baseDirectory, MAVEN_WRAPPER_PROPERTIES_PATH);
+        String url = DEFAULT_DOWNLOAD_URL;
+        if(mavenWrapperPropertyFile.exists()) {
+            FileInputStream mavenWrapperPropertyFileInputStream = null;
+            try {
+                mavenWrapperPropertyFileInputStream = new FileInputStream(mavenWrapperPropertyFile);
+                Properties mavenWrapperProperties = new Properties();
+                mavenWrapperProperties.load(mavenWrapperPropertyFileInputStream);
+                url = mavenWrapperProperties.getProperty(PROPERTY_NAME_WRAPPER_URL, url);
+            } catch (IOException e) {
+                System.out.println("- ERROR loading '" + MAVEN_WRAPPER_PROPERTIES_PATH + "'");
+            } finally {
+                try {
+                    if(mavenWrapperPropertyFileInputStream != null) {
+                        mavenWrapperPropertyFileInputStream.close();
+                    }
+                } catch (IOException e) {
+                    // Ignore ...
+                }
+            }
+        }
+        System.out.println("- Downloading from: " + url);
+
+        File outputFile = new File(baseDirectory.getAbsolutePath(), MAVEN_WRAPPER_JAR_PATH);
+        if(!outputFile.getParentFile().exists()) {
+            if(!outputFile.getParentFile().mkdirs()) {
+                System.out.println(
+                        "- ERROR creating output directory '" + outputFile.getParentFile().getAbsolutePath() + "'");
+            }
+        }
+        System.out.println("- Downloading to: " + outputFile.getAbsolutePath());
+        try {
+            downloadFileFromURL(url, outputFile);
+            System.out.println("Done");
+            System.exit(0);
+        } catch (Throwable e) {
+            System.out.println("- Error downloading");
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            System.exit(1);
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static void downloadFileFromURL(String urlString, File destination) throws Exception {
+        if (System.getenv("MVNW_USERNAME") != null && System.getenv("MVNW_PASSWORD") != null) {
+            String username = System.getenv("MVNW_USERNAME");
+            char[] password = System.getenv("MVNW_PASSWORD").toCharArray();
+            Authenticator.setDefault(new Authenticator() {
+                @Override
+                protected PasswordAuthentication getPasswordAuthentication() {
+                    return new PasswordAuthentication(username, password);
+                }
+            });
+        }
+        URL website = new URL(urlString);
+        ReadableByteChannel rbc;
+        rbc = Channels.newChannel(website.openStream());
+        FileOutputStream fos = new FileOutputStream(destination);
+        fos.getChannel().transferFrom(rbc, 0, Long.MAX_VALUE);
+        fos.close();
+        rbc.close();
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..642d572c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+distributionUrl=https://repo.maven.apache.org/maven2/org/apache/maven/apache-maven/3.6.3/apache-maven-3.6.3-bin.zip
+wrapperUrl=https://repo.maven.apache.org/maven2/io/takari/maven-wrapper/0.5.6/maven-wrapper-0.5.6.jar
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/README.md b/vilebot-quarkus/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e2c448c2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+# code-with-quarkus project
+
+This project uses Quarkus, the Supersonic Subatomic Java Framework.
+
+If you want to learn more about Quarkus, please visit its website: https://quarkus.io/ .
+
+## Running the application in dev mode
+
+You can run your application in dev mode that enables live coding using:
+```shell script
+./mvnw compile quarkus:dev
+```
+
+> **_NOTE:_**  Quarkus now ships with a Dev UI, which is available in dev mode only at http://localhost:8080/q/dev/.
+
+## Packaging and running the application
+
+The application can be packaged using:
+```shell script
+./mvnw package
+```
+It produces the `quarkus-run.jar` file in the `target/quarkus-app/` directory.
+Be aware that it’s not an _über-jar_ as the dependencies are copied into the `target/quarkus-app/lib/` directory.
+
+If you want to build an _über-jar_, execute the following command:
+```shell script
+./mvnw package -Dquarkus.package.type=uber-jar
+```
+
+The application is now runnable using `java -jar target/quarkus-app/quarkus-run.jar`.
+
+## Creating a native executable
+
+You can create a native executable using: 
+```shell script
+./mvnw package -Pnative
+```
+
+Or, if you don't have GraalVM installed, you can run the native executable build in a container using: 
+```shell script
+./mvnw package -Pnative -Dquarkus.native.container-build=true
+```
+
+You can then execute your native executable with: `./target/code-with-quarkus-1.0.0-SNAPSHOT-runner`
+
+If you want to learn more about building native executables, please consult https://quarkus.io/guides/maven-tooling.html.
+
+## Provided examples
+
+### RESTEasy JAX-RS example
+
+REST is easy peasy with this Hello World RESTEasy resource.
+
+[Related guide section...](https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started#the-jax-rs-resources)
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..852350bd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,266 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+<profiles version="11">
+<profile kind="CodeFormatterProfile" name="Maven" version="11">
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_if" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_assert" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.brace_position_for_enum_constant" value="next_line"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_semicolon" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.align_type_members_on_columns" value="false"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_colon_in_case" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.format_line_comments" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.number_of_empty_lines_to_preserve" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_between_brackets_in_array_type_reference" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_switch" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_between_type_declarations" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_parenthesized_expression_in_return" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_in_empty_method_body" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_brace_in_annotation_type_declaration" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_statements_compare_to_body" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_after_opening_brace_in_array_initializer" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.format_guardian_clause_on_one_line" value="false"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.insert_new_line_before_root_tags" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_for" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.tabulation.size" value="4"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_angle_bracket_in_type_parameters" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_imports" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_case" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_enum_constant_arguments" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_new_chunk" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.continuation_indentation" value="4"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_binary_operator" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_constructor_declaration_parameters" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_for" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_superinterfaces" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_parameters_in_method_declaration" value="18"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_assignment" value="20"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_member_type" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_constructor_declaration_throws" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_conditional_expression" value="80"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_paren_in_while" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.indent_parameter_description" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.format_html" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_allocation_expression" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_method_declaration_throws" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_enum_constant" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.format_source_code" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_enum_declarations" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_angle_bracket_in_parameterized_type_reference" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_annotation" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_between_empty_parens_in_method_declaration" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_colon_in_conditional" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_unary_operator" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_question_in_conditional" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_in_empty_annotation_declaration" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indentation.size" value="4"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_multiple_local_declarations" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_postfix_operator" value="do not insert"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_after_imports" value="1"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.compiler.problem.assertIdentifier" value="error"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.keep_else_statement_on_same_line" value="false"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_empty_lines" value="false"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.line_length" value="120"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.compiler.compliance" value="1.5"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.number_of_blank_lines_at_beginning_of_method_body" value="0"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_switchstatements_compare_to_switch" value="true"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.keep_empty_array_initializer_on_one_line" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.compiler.codegen.targetPlatform" value="1.5"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_multiple_local_declarations" value="do not insert"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_selector_in_method_invocation" value="2"/>
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+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.never_indent_line_comments_on_first_column" value="false"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_unary_operator" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_paren_in_if" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_labeled_statement" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_bracket_in_array_allocation_expression" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_switchstatements_compare_to_cases" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.continuation_indentation_for_array_initializer" value="4"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.indent_root_tags" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_enum_constants" value="48"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_parameterized_type_reference" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_parenthesized_expression" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_constructor_declaration_throws" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_throws_clause_in_constructor_declaration" value="37"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_arguments_in_method_invocation" value="18"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.tabulation.char" value="space"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_package" value="0"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_method_invocation_arguments" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_breaks_compare_to_cases" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_for_inits" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_multiple_field_declarations" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_superinterfaces" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.put_empty_statement_on_new_line" value="true"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_method_declaration_parameters" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_method" value="1"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_multiple_field_declarations" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_for_inits" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_brace_in_anonymous_type_declaration" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_after_annotation" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_cast" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_closing_angle_bracket_in_type_arguments" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.never_indent_block_comments_on_first_column" value="false"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_array_initializer" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_paren_in_parenthesized_expression" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_paren_in_enum_constant" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_method_invocation" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_postfix_operator" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.brace_position_for_block" value="next_line"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_brace_in_array_initializer" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_bracket_in_array_allocation_expression" value="do not insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_and_in_type_parameter" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_try" value="insert"/>
+<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_try" value="insert"/>
+</profile>
+</profiles>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw b/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..a16b5431
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw
@@ -0,0 +1,310 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+# ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+# Licensed to the Apache Software Foundation (ASF) under one
+# or more contributor license agreements.  See the NOTICE file
+# distributed with this work for additional information
+# regarding copyright ownership.  The ASF licenses this file
+# to you under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the
+# "License"); you may not use this file except in compliance
+# with the License.  You may obtain a copy of the License at
+#
+#    https://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
+#
+# Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing,
+# software distributed under the License is distributed on an
+# "AS IS" BASIS, WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY
+# KIND, either express or implied.  See the License for the
+# specific language governing permissions and limitations
+# under the License.
+# ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+# ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+# Maven Start Up Batch script
+#
+# Required ENV vars:
+# ------------------
+#   JAVA_HOME - location of a JDK home dir
+#
+# Optional ENV vars
+# -----------------
+#   M2_HOME - location of maven2's installed home dir
+#   MAVEN_OPTS - parameters passed to the Java VM when running Maven
+#     e.g. to debug Maven itself, use
+#       set MAVEN_OPTS=-Xdebug -Xrunjdwp:transport=dt_socket,server=y,suspend=y,address=8000
+#   MAVEN_SKIP_RC - flag to disable loading of mavenrc files
+# ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+if [ -z "$MAVEN_SKIP_RC" ] ; then
+
+  if [ -f /etc/mavenrc ] ; then
+    . /etc/mavenrc
+  fi
+
+  if [ -f "$HOME/.mavenrc" ] ; then
+    . "$HOME/.mavenrc"
+  fi
+
+fi
+
+# OS specific support.  $var _must_ be set to either true or false.
+cygwin=false;
+darwin=false;
+mingw=false
+case "`uname`" in
+  CYGWIN*) cygwin=true ;;
+  MINGW*) mingw=true;;
+  Darwin*) darwin=true
+    # Use /usr/libexec/java_home if available, otherwise fall back to /Library/Java/Home
+    # See https://developer.apple.com/library/mac/qa/qa1170/_index.html
+    if [ -z "$JAVA_HOME" ]; then
+      if [ -x "/usr/libexec/java_home" ]; then
+        export JAVA_HOME="`/usr/libexec/java_home`"
+      else
+        export JAVA_HOME="/Library/Java/Home"
+      fi
+    fi
+    ;;
+esac
+
+if [ -z "$JAVA_HOME" ] ; then
+  if [ -r /etc/gentoo-release ] ; then
+    JAVA_HOME=`java-config --jre-home`
+  fi
+fi
+
+if [ -z "$M2_HOME" ] ; then
+  ## resolve links - $0 may be a link to maven's home
+  PRG="$0"
+
+  # need this for relative symlinks
+  while [ -h "$PRG" ] ; do
+    ls=`ls -ld "$PRG"`
+    link=`expr "$ls" : '.*-> \(.*\)$'`
+    if expr "$link" : '/.*' > /dev/null; then
+      PRG="$link"
+    else
+      PRG="`dirname "$PRG"`/$link"
+    fi
+  done
+
+  saveddir=`pwd`
+
+  M2_HOME=`dirname "$PRG"`/..
+
+  # make it fully qualified
+  M2_HOME=`cd "$M2_HOME" && pwd`
+
+  cd "$saveddir"
+  # echo Using m2 at $M2_HOME
+fi
+
+# For Cygwin, ensure paths are in UNIX format before anything is touched
+if $cygwin ; then
+  [ -n "$M2_HOME" ] &&
+    M2_HOME=`cygpath --unix "$M2_HOME"`
+  [ -n "$JAVA_HOME" ] &&
+    JAVA_HOME=`cygpath --unix "$JAVA_HOME"`
+  [ -n "$CLASSPATH" ] &&
+    CLASSPATH=`cygpath --path --unix "$CLASSPATH"`
+fi
+
+# For Mingw, ensure paths are in UNIX format before anything is touched
+if $mingw ; then
+  [ -n "$M2_HOME" ] &&
+    M2_HOME="`(cd "$M2_HOME"; pwd)`"
+  [ -n "$JAVA_HOME" ] &&
+    JAVA_HOME="`(cd "$JAVA_HOME"; pwd)`"
+fi
+
+if [ -z "$JAVA_HOME" ]; then
+  javaExecutable="`which javac`"
+  if [ -n "$javaExecutable" ] && ! [ "`expr \"$javaExecutable\" : '\([^ ]*\)'`" = "no" ]; then
+    # readlink(1) is not available as standard on Solaris 10.
+    readLink=`which readlink`
+    if [ ! `expr "$readLink" : '\([^ ]*\)'` = "no" ]; then
+      if $darwin ; then
+        javaHome="`dirname \"$javaExecutable\"`"
+        javaExecutable="`cd \"$javaHome\" && pwd -P`/javac"
+      else
+        javaExecutable="`readlink -f \"$javaExecutable\"`"
+      fi
+      javaHome="`dirname \"$javaExecutable\"`"
+      javaHome=`expr "$javaHome" : '\(.*\)/bin'`
+      JAVA_HOME="$javaHome"
+      export JAVA_HOME
+    fi
+  fi
+fi
+
+if [ -z "$JAVACMD" ] ; then
+  if [ -n "$JAVA_HOME"  ] ; then
+    if [ -x "$JAVA_HOME/jre/sh/java" ] ; then
+      # IBM's JDK on AIX uses strange locations for the executables
+      JAVACMD="$JAVA_HOME/jre/sh/java"
+    else
+      JAVACMD="$JAVA_HOME/bin/java"
+    fi
+  else
+    JAVACMD="`which java`"
+  fi
+fi
+
+if [ ! -x "$JAVACMD" ] ; then
+  echo "Error: JAVA_HOME is not defined correctly." >&2
+  echo "  We cannot execute $JAVACMD" >&2
+  exit 1
+fi
+
+if [ -z "$JAVA_HOME" ] ; then
+  echo "Warning: JAVA_HOME environment variable is not set."
+fi
+
+CLASSWORLDS_LAUNCHER=org.codehaus.plexus.classworlds.launcher.Launcher
+
+# traverses directory structure from process work directory to filesystem root
+# first directory with .mvn subdirectory is considered project base directory
+find_maven_basedir() {
+
+  if [ -z "$1" ]
+  then
+    echo "Path not specified to find_maven_basedir"
+    return 1
+  fi
+
+  basedir="$1"
+  wdir="$1"
+  while [ "$wdir" != '/' ] ; do
+    if [ -d "$wdir"/.mvn ] ; then
+      basedir=$wdir
+      break
+    fi
+    # workaround for JBEAP-8937 (on Solaris 10/Sparc)
+    if [ -d "${wdir}" ]; then
+      wdir=`cd "$wdir/.."; pwd`
+    fi
+    # end of workaround
+  done
+  echo "${basedir}"
+}
+
+# concatenates all lines of a file
+concat_lines() {
+  if [ -f "$1" ]; then
+    echo "$(tr -s '\n' ' ' < "$1")"
+  fi
+}
+
+BASE_DIR=`find_maven_basedir "$(pwd)"`
+if [ -z "$BASE_DIR" ]; then
+  exit 1;
+fi
+
+##########################################################################################
+# Extension to allow automatically downloading the maven-wrapper.jar from Maven-central
+# This allows using the maven wrapper in projects that prohibit checking in binary data.
+##########################################################################################
+if [ -r "$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar" ]; then
+    if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+      echo "Found .mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar"
+    fi
+else
+    if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+      echo "Couldn't find .mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar, downloading it ..."
+    fi
+    if [ -n "$MVNW_REPOURL" ]; then
+      jarUrl="$MVNW_REPOURL/io/takari/maven-wrapper/0.5.6/maven-wrapper-0.5.6.jar"
+    else
+      jarUrl="https://repo.maven.apache.org/maven2/io/takari/maven-wrapper/0.5.6/maven-wrapper-0.5.6.jar"
+    fi
+    while IFS="=" read key value; do
+      case "$key" in (wrapperUrl) jarUrl="$value"; break ;;
+      esac
+    done < "$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties"
+    if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+      echo "Downloading from: $jarUrl"
+    fi
+    wrapperJarPath="$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar"
+    if $cygwin; then
+      wrapperJarPath=`cygpath --path --windows "$wrapperJarPath"`
+    fi
+
+    if command -v wget > /dev/null; then
+        if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+          echo "Found wget ... using wget"
+        fi
+        if [ -z "$MVNW_USERNAME" ] || [ -z "$MVNW_PASSWORD" ]; then
+            wget "$jarUrl" -O "$wrapperJarPath"
+        else
+            wget --http-user=$MVNW_USERNAME --http-password=$MVNW_PASSWORD "$jarUrl" -O "$wrapperJarPath"
+        fi
+    elif command -v curl > /dev/null; then
+        if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+          echo "Found curl ... using curl"
+        fi
+        if [ -z "$MVNW_USERNAME" ] || [ -z "$MVNW_PASSWORD" ]; then
+            curl -o "$wrapperJarPath" "$jarUrl" -f
+        else
+            curl --user $MVNW_USERNAME:$MVNW_PASSWORD -o "$wrapperJarPath" "$jarUrl" -f
+        fi
+
+    else
+        if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+          echo "Falling back to using Java to download"
+        fi
+        javaClass="$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java"
+        # For Cygwin, switch paths to Windows format before running javac
+        if $cygwin; then
+          javaClass=`cygpath --path --windows "$javaClass"`
+        fi
+        if [ -e "$javaClass" ]; then
+            if [ ! -e "$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.class" ]; then
+                if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+                  echo " - Compiling MavenWrapperDownloader.java ..."
+                fi
+                # Compiling the Java class
+                ("$JAVA_HOME/bin/javac" "$javaClass")
+            fi
+            if [ -e "$BASE_DIR/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.class" ]; then
+                # Running the downloader
+                if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+                  echo " - Running MavenWrapperDownloader.java ..."
+                fi
+                ("$JAVA_HOME/bin/java" -cp .mvn/wrapper MavenWrapperDownloader "$MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR")
+            fi
+        fi
+    fi
+fi
+##########################################################################################
+# End of extension
+##########################################################################################
+
+export MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR=${MAVEN_BASEDIR:-"$BASE_DIR"}
+if [ "$MVNW_VERBOSE" = true ]; then
+  echo $MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR
+fi
+MAVEN_OPTS="$(concat_lines "$MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR/.mvn/jvm.config") $MAVEN_OPTS"
+
+# For Cygwin, switch paths to Windows format before running java
+if $cygwin; then
+  [ -n "$M2_HOME" ] &&
+    M2_HOME=`cygpath --path --windows "$M2_HOME"`
+  [ -n "$JAVA_HOME" ] &&
+    JAVA_HOME=`cygpath --path --windows "$JAVA_HOME"`
+  [ -n "$CLASSPATH" ] &&
+    CLASSPATH=`cygpath --path --windows "$CLASSPATH"`
+  [ -n "$MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR" ] &&
+    MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR=`cygpath --path --windows "$MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR"`
+fi
+
+# Provide a "standardized" way to retrieve the CLI args that will
+# work with both Windows and non-Windows executions.
+MAVEN_CMD_LINE_ARGS="$MAVEN_CONFIG $@"
+export MAVEN_CMD_LINE_ARGS
+
+WRAPPER_LAUNCHER=org.apache.maven.wrapper.MavenWrapperMain
+
+exec "$JAVACMD" \
+  $MAVEN_OPTS \
+  -classpath "$MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.jar" \
+  "-Dmaven.home=${M2_HOME}" "-Dmaven.multiModuleProjectDirectory=${MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR}" \
+  ${WRAPPER_LAUNCHER} $MAVEN_CONFIG "$@"
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd b/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..c8d43372
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd
@@ -0,0 +1,182 @@
+@REM ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+@REM Licensed to the Apache Software Foundation (ASF) under one
+@REM or more contributor license agreements.  See the NOTICE file
+@REM distributed with this work for additional information
+@REM regarding copyright ownership.  The ASF licenses this file
+@REM to you under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the
+@REM "License"); you may not use this file except in compliance
+@REM with the License.  You may obtain a copy of the License at
+@REM
+@REM    https://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
+@REM
+@REM Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing,
+@REM software distributed under the License is distributed on an
+@REM "AS IS" BASIS, WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY
+@REM KIND, either express or implied.  See the License for the
+@REM specific language governing permissions and limitations
+@REM under the License.
+@REM ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+@REM ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+@REM Maven Start Up Batch script
+@REM
+@REM Required ENV vars:
+@REM JAVA_HOME - location of a JDK home dir
+@REM
+@REM Optional ENV vars
+@REM M2_HOME - location of maven2's installed home dir
+@REM MAVEN_BATCH_ECHO - set to 'on' to enable the echoing of the batch commands
+@REM MAVEN_BATCH_PAUSE - set to 'on' to wait for a keystroke before ending
+@REM MAVEN_OPTS - parameters passed to the Java VM when running Maven
+@REM     e.g. to debug Maven itself, use
+@REM set MAVEN_OPTS=-Xdebug -Xrunjdwp:transport=dt_socket,server=y,suspend=y,address=8000
+@REM MAVEN_SKIP_RC - flag to disable loading of mavenrc files
+@REM ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
+
+@REM Begin all REM lines with '@' in case MAVEN_BATCH_ECHO is 'on'
+@echo off
+@REM set title of command window
+title %0
+@REM enable echoing by setting MAVEN_BATCH_ECHO to 'on'
+@if "%MAVEN_BATCH_ECHO%" == "on"  echo %MAVEN_BATCH_ECHO%
+
+@REM set %HOME% to equivalent of $HOME
+if "%HOME%" == "" (set "HOME=%HOMEDRIVE%%HOMEPATH%")
+
+@REM Execute a user defined script before this one
+if not "%MAVEN_SKIP_RC%" == "" goto skipRcPre
+@REM check for pre script, once with legacy .bat ending and once with .cmd ending
+if exist "%HOME%\mavenrc_pre.bat" call "%HOME%\mavenrc_pre.bat"
+if exist "%HOME%\mavenrc_pre.cmd" call "%HOME%\mavenrc_pre.cmd"
+:skipRcPre
+
+@setlocal
+
+set ERROR_CODE=0
+
+@REM To isolate internal variables from possible post scripts, we use another setlocal
+@setlocal
+
+@REM ==== START VALIDATION ====
+if not "%JAVA_HOME%" == "" goto OkJHome
+
+echo.
+echo Error: JAVA_HOME not found in your environment. >&2
+echo Please set the JAVA_HOME variable in your environment to match the >&2
+echo location of your Java installation. >&2
+echo.
+goto error
+
+:OkJHome
+if exist "%JAVA_HOME%\bin\java.exe" goto init
+
+echo.
+echo Error: JAVA_HOME is set to an invalid directory. >&2
+echo JAVA_HOME = "%JAVA_HOME%" >&2
+echo Please set the JAVA_HOME variable in your environment to match the >&2
+echo location of your Java installation. >&2
+echo.
+goto error
+
+@REM ==== END VALIDATION ====
+
+:init
+
+@REM Find the project base dir, i.e. the directory that contains the folder ".mvn".
+@REM Fallback to current working directory if not found.
+
+set MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR=%MAVEN_BASEDIR%
+IF NOT "%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%"=="" goto endDetectBaseDir
+
+set EXEC_DIR=%CD%
+set WDIR=%EXEC_DIR%
+:findBaseDir
+IF EXIST "%WDIR%"\.mvn goto baseDirFound
+cd ..
+IF "%WDIR%"=="%CD%" goto baseDirNotFound
+set WDIR=%CD%
+goto findBaseDir
+
+:baseDirFound
+set MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR=%WDIR%
+cd "%EXEC_DIR%"
+goto endDetectBaseDir
+
+:baseDirNotFound
+set MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR=%EXEC_DIR%
+cd "%EXEC_DIR%"
+
+:endDetectBaseDir
+
+IF NOT EXIST "%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%\.mvn\jvm.config" goto endReadAdditionalConfig
+
+@setlocal EnableExtensions EnableDelayedExpansion
+for /F "usebackq delims=" %%a in ("%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%\.mvn\jvm.config") do set JVM_CONFIG_MAVEN_PROPS=!JVM_CONFIG_MAVEN_PROPS! %%a
+@endlocal & set JVM_CONFIG_MAVEN_PROPS=%JVM_CONFIG_MAVEN_PROPS%
+
+:endReadAdditionalConfig
+
+SET MAVEN_JAVA_EXE="%JAVA_HOME%\bin\java.exe"
+set WRAPPER_JAR="%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%\.mvn\wrapper\maven-wrapper.jar"
+set WRAPPER_LAUNCHER=org.apache.maven.wrapper.MavenWrapperMain
+
+set DOWNLOAD_URL="https://repo.maven.apache.org/maven2/io/takari/maven-wrapper/0.5.6/maven-wrapper-0.5.6.jar"
+
+FOR /F "tokens=1,2 delims==" %%A IN ("%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%\.mvn\wrapper\maven-wrapper.properties") DO (
+    IF "%%A"=="wrapperUrl" SET DOWNLOAD_URL=%%B
+)
+
+@REM Extension to allow automatically downloading the maven-wrapper.jar from Maven-central
+@REM This allows using the maven wrapper in projects that prohibit checking in binary data.
+if exist %WRAPPER_JAR% (
+    if "%MVNW_VERBOSE%" == "true" (
+        echo Found %WRAPPER_JAR%
+    )
+) else (
+    if not "%MVNW_REPOURL%" == "" (
+        SET DOWNLOAD_URL="%MVNW_REPOURL%/io/takari/maven-wrapper/0.5.6/maven-wrapper-0.5.6.jar"
+    )
+    if "%MVNW_VERBOSE%" == "true" (
+        echo Couldn't find %WRAPPER_JAR%, downloading it ...
+        echo Downloading from: %DOWNLOAD_URL%
+    )
+
+    powershell -Command "&{"^
+		"$webclient = new-object System.Net.WebClient;"^
+		"if (-not ([string]::IsNullOrEmpty('%MVNW_USERNAME%') -and [string]::IsNullOrEmpty('%MVNW_PASSWORD%'))) {"^
+		"$webclient.Credentials = new-object System.Net.NetworkCredential('%MVNW_USERNAME%', '%MVNW_PASSWORD%');"^
+		"}"^
+		"[Net.ServicePointManager]::SecurityProtocol = [Net.SecurityProtocolType]::Tls12; $webclient.DownloadFile('%DOWNLOAD_URL%', '%WRAPPER_JAR%')"^
+		"}"
+    if "%MVNW_VERBOSE%" == "true" (
+        echo Finished downloading %WRAPPER_JAR%
+    )
+)
+@REM End of extension
+
+@REM Provide a "standardized" way to retrieve the CLI args that will
+@REM work with both Windows and non-Windows executions.
+set MAVEN_CMD_LINE_ARGS=%*
+
+%MAVEN_JAVA_EXE% %JVM_CONFIG_MAVEN_PROPS% %MAVEN_OPTS% %MAVEN_DEBUG_OPTS% -classpath %WRAPPER_JAR% "-Dmaven.multiModuleProjectDirectory=%MAVEN_PROJECTBASEDIR%" %WRAPPER_LAUNCHER% %MAVEN_CONFIG% %*
+if ERRORLEVEL 1 goto error
+goto end
+
+:error
+set ERROR_CODE=1
+
+:end
+@endlocal & set ERROR_CODE=%ERROR_CODE%
+
+if not "%MAVEN_SKIP_RC%" == "" goto skipRcPost
+@REM check for post script, once with legacy .bat ending and once with .cmd ending
+if exist "%HOME%\mavenrc_post.bat" call "%HOME%\mavenrc_post.bat"
+if exist "%HOME%\mavenrc_post.cmd" call "%HOME%\mavenrc_post.cmd"
+:skipRcPost
+
+@REM pause the script if MAVEN_BATCH_PAUSE is set to 'on'
+if "%MAVEN_BATCH_PAUSE%" == "on" pause
+
+if "%MAVEN_TERMINATE_CMD%" == "on" exit %ERROR_CODE%
+
+exit /B %ERROR_CODE%
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3d3e47e9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,197 @@
+<?xml version="1.0"?>
+<project xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd" xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
+    xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance">
+  <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
+  <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+  <artifactId>vilebot-quarkus</artifactId>
+  <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
+  <properties>
+    <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
+    <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
+    <maven.compiler.source>11</maven.compiler.source>
+    <maven.compiler.target>11</maven.compiler.target>
+    <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
+    <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
+    <quarkus-plugin.version>1.13.2.Final</quarkus-plugin.version>
+    <quarkus.platform.artifact-id>quarkus-universe-bom</quarkus.platform.artifact-id>
+    <quarkus.platform.group-id>io.quarkus</quarkus.platform.group-id>
+    <quarkus.platform.version>1.13.2.Final</quarkus.platform.version>
+    <camel-quarkus.version>1.8.1</camel-quarkus.version>
+    <surefire-plugin.version>3.0.0-M5</surefire-plugin.version>
+    <maven-license-plugin.version>1.9.0</maven-license-plugin.version>
+    <formatter-maven-plugin.version>2.8.1</formatter-maven-plugin.version>
+    <apache-commons.version>3.12.0</apache-commons.version>
+  </properties>
+
+  <dependencyManagement>
+    <dependencies>
+      <dependency>
+        <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+        <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bom</artifactId>
+        <version>${camel-quarkus.version}</version>
+        <type>pom</type>
+        <scope>import</scope>
+      </dependency>
+
+      <dependency>
+        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
+        <version>${quarkus.platform.version}</version>
+        <type>pom</type>
+        <scope>import</scope>
+      </dependency>
+
+      <dependency>
+        <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
+        <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
+        <version>${apache-commons.version}</version>
+      </dependency>
+    </dependencies>
+  </dependencyManagement>
+
+  <dependencies>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
+      <version>${project.version}</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bean</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-twitter</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-redis-client</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-elytron-security</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
+      <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+  </dependencies>
+  <build>
+    <plugins>
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>com.mycila.maven-license-plugin</groupId>
+        <artifactId>maven-license-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${maven-license-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <header>license-header.txt</header>
+          <strictCheck>true</strictCheck>
+          <includes>
+            <include>src/**</include>
+          </includes>
+         </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>net.revelc.code.formatter</groupId>
+        <artifactId>formatter-maven-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${formatter-maven-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <configFile>${project.basedir}/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml</configFile>
+         </configuration>
+        <executions>
+          <execution>
+            <goals>
+              <goal>format</goal>
+            </goals>
+          </execution>
+        </executions>
+      </plugin>
+
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-maven-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${quarkus-plugin.version}</version>
+        <extensions>true</extensions>
+        <executions>
+          <execution>
+            <goals>
+              <goal>build</goal>
+              <goal>generate-code</goal>
+              <goal>generate-code-tests</goal>
+            </goals>
+          </execution>
+        </executions>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${compiler-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <parameters>${maven.compiler.parameters}</parameters>
+        </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <artifactId>maven-surefire-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <systemPropertyVariables>
+            <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+            <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
+          </systemPropertyVariables>
+        </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+    </plugins>
+  </build>
+  <profiles>
+    <profile>
+      <id>native</id>
+      <activation>
+        <property>
+          <name>native</name>
+        </property>
+      </activation>
+      <build>
+        <plugins>
+          <plugin>
+            <artifactId>maven-failsafe-plugin</artifactId>
+            <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
+            <executions>
+              <execution>
+                <goals>
+                  <goal>integration-test</goal>
+                  <goal>verify</goal>
+                </goals>
+                <configuration>
+                  <systemPropertyVariables>
+                    <native.image.path>${project.build.directory}/${project.build.finalName}-runner</native.image.path>
+                    <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+                    <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
+                  </systemPropertyVariables>
+                </configuration>
+              </execution>
+            </executions>
+          </plugin>
+        </plugins>
+      </build>
+      <properties>
+        <quarkus.package.type>native</quarkus.package.type>
+      </properties>
+    </profile>
+  </profiles>
+</project>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f7dc2403
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+####
+# This Dockerfile is used in order to build a container that runs the Quarkus application in JVM mode
+#
+# Before building the container image run:
+#
+# ./mvnw package
+#
+# Then, build the image with:
+#
+# docker build -f src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm -t quarkus/code-with-quarkus-jvm .
+#
+# Then run the container using:
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 quarkus/code-with-quarkus-jvm
+#
+# If you want to include the debug port into your docker image
+# you will have to expose the debug port (default 5005) like this :  EXPOSE 8080 5050
+#
+# Then run the container using :
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 -p 5005:5005 -e JAVA_ENABLE_DEBUG="true" quarkus/code-with-quarkus-jvm
+#
+###
+FROM registry.access.redhat.com/ubi8/ubi-minimal:8.3 
+
+ARG JAVA_PACKAGE=java-11-openjdk-headless
+ARG RUN_JAVA_VERSION=1.3.8
+ENV LANG='en_US.UTF-8' LANGUAGE='en_US:en'
+# Install java and the run-java script
+# Also set up permissions for user `1001`
+RUN microdnf install curl ca-certificates ${JAVA_PACKAGE} \
+    && microdnf update \
+    && microdnf clean all \
+    && mkdir /deployments \
+    && chown 1001 /deployments \
+    && chmod "g+rwX" /deployments \
+    && chown 1001:root /deployments \
+    && curl https://repo1.maven.org/maven2/io/fabric8/run-java-sh/${RUN_JAVA_VERSION}/run-java-sh-${RUN_JAVA_VERSION}-sh.sh -o /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && chown 1001 /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && chmod 540 /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && echo "securerandom.source=file:/dev/urandom" >> /etc/alternatives/jre/lib/security/java.security
+
+# Configure the JAVA_OPTIONS, you can add -XshowSettings:vm to also display the heap size.
+ENV JAVA_OPTIONS="-Dquarkus.http.host=0.0.0.0 -Djava.util.logging.manager=org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager"
+# We make four distinct layers so if there are application changes the library layers can be re-used
+COPY --chown=1001 target/quarkus-app/lib/ /deployments/lib/
+COPY --chown=1001 target/quarkus-app/*.jar /deployments/
+COPY --chown=1001 target/quarkus-app/app/ /deployments/app/
+COPY --chown=1001 target/quarkus-app/quarkus/ /deployments/quarkus/
+
+EXPOSE 8080
+USER 1001
+
+ENTRYPOINT [ "/deployments/run-java.sh" ]
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..5df659c7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
@@ -0,0 +1,51 @@
+####
+# This Dockerfile is used in order to build a container that runs the Quarkus application in JVM mode
+#
+# Before building the container image run:
+#
+# ./mvnw package -Dquarkus.package.type=legacy-jar
+#
+# Then, build the image with:
+#
+# docker build -f src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar -t quarkus/code-with-quarkus-legacy-jar .
+#
+# Then run the container using:
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 quarkus/code-with-quarkus-legacy-jar
+#
+# If you want to include the debug port into your docker image
+# you will have to expose the debug port (default 5005) like this :  EXPOSE 8080 5050
+#
+# Then run the container using :
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 -p 5005:5005 -e JAVA_ENABLE_DEBUG="true" quarkus/code-with-quarkus-legacy-jar
+#
+###
+FROM registry.access.redhat.com/ubi8/ubi-minimal:8.3 
+
+ARG JAVA_PACKAGE=java-11-openjdk-headless
+ARG RUN_JAVA_VERSION=1.3.8
+ENV LANG='en_US.UTF-8' LANGUAGE='en_US:en'
+# Install java and the run-java script
+# Also set up permissions for user `1001`
+RUN microdnf install curl ca-certificates ${JAVA_PACKAGE} \
+    && microdnf update \
+    && microdnf clean all \
+    && mkdir /deployments \
+    && chown 1001 /deployments \
+    && chmod "g+rwX" /deployments \
+    && chown 1001:root /deployments \
+    && curl https://repo1.maven.org/maven2/io/fabric8/run-java-sh/${RUN_JAVA_VERSION}/run-java-sh-${RUN_JAVA_VERSION}-sh.sh -o /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && chown 1001 /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && chmod 540 /deployments/run-java.sh \
+    && echo "securerandom.source=file:/dev/urandom" >> /etc/alternatives/jre/lib/security/java.security
+
+# Configure the JAVA_OPTIONS, you can add -XshowSettings:vm to also display the heap size.
+ENV JAVA_OPTIONS="-Dquarkus.http.host=0.0.0.0 -Djava.util.logging.manager=org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager"
+COPY target/lib/* /deployments/lib/
+COPY target/*-runner.jar /deployments/app.jar
+
+EXPOSE 8080
+USER 1001
+
+ENTRYPOINT [ "/deployments/run-java.sh" ]
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..90b8c68d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+####
+# This Dockerfile is used in order to build a container that runs the Quarkus application in native (no JVM) mode
+#
+# Before building the container image run:
+#
+# ./mvnw package -Pnative
+#
+# Then, build the image with:
+#
+# docker build -f src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native -t quarkus/code-with-quarkus .
+#
+# Then run the container using:
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 quarkus/code-with-quarkus
+#
+###
+FROM registry.access.redhat.com/ubi8/ubi-minimal:8.3
+WORKDIR /work/
+RUN chown 1001 /work \
+    && chmod "g+rwX" /work \
+    && chown 1001:root /work
+COPY --chown=1001:root target/*-runner /work/application
+
+EXPOSE 8080
+USER 1001
+
+CMD ["./application", "-Dquarkus.http.host=0.0.0.0"]
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..5fda9896
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+####
+# This Dockerfile is used in order to build a distroless container that runs the Quarkus application in native (no JVM) mode
+#
+# Before building the container image run:
+#
+# ./mvnw package -Pnative
+#
+# Then, build the image with:
+#
+# docker build -f src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless -t quarkus/code-with-quarkus .
+#
+# Then run the container using:
+#
+# docker run -i --rm -p 8080:8080 quarkus/code-with-quarkus
+#
+###
+FROM quay.io/quarkus/quarkus-distroless-image:1.0
+COPY target/*-runner /application
+
+EXPOSE 8080
+USER nonroot
+
+CMD ["./application", "-Dquarkus.http.host=0.0.0.0"]
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..bf4745be
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,159 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+/**
+ * This class is effectively a duplicate of KarmaDB, used for church related karma
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ChurchDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet = "church-donor-karma";
+
+    private static final String keyOfChurchSortedSet = "church-karma";
+
+    private static final String keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet = "church-title-";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    public boolean isTopDonor( String noun )
+    {
+        return getDonorRank( noun ).map( rank -> rank.longValue() <= 4 ).orElse( false );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Change the karma of a noun by an integer.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
+     * @param mod The amount to change the karma by, may be negative.
+     */
+    public void modDonorKarma( String noun, Integer mod )
+    {
+        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, mod.toString(), noun );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Change the karma not affiliated with a donor
+     */
+    public void modNonDonorKarma( Integer mod )
+    {
+        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfChurchSortedSet, mod.toString(), keyOfChurchSortedSet );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Change the title of noun to a string.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
+     * @param newTitle The string to change the title to
+     */
+    public void modDonorTitle( String noun, String newTitle )
+    {
+        Long titleCount = redisClient.scard( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun ).toLong();
+        for ( Long i = 0L; i < titleCount; i++ )
+        {
+            redisClient.spop( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun ) );
+        }
+        redisClient.sadd( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun, newTitle ) );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the karma of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to query to karma of
+     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public Optional<Long> getDonorKarma( String noun )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ).toLong() );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
+     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public Optional<Long> getDonorRank( String noun )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ).toLong() ).map( rank -> rank
+            + 1 );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the title of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
+     * @return String iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public String getDonorTitle( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun ) ).toString();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get nouns from karma ranks.
+     *
+     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
+     */
+    public Set<String> getDonorsByRanks( Long lower, Long upper )
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns =
+            redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, lower.toString(),
+                                            upper.toString() ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+
+        if ( nouns.size() == 0 )
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+
+        return nouns;
+    }
+
+    public boolean removeDonor( String noun )
+    {
+        Long existed = redisClient.zrem( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ) ).toLong();
+        if ( Long.valueOf( existed ) != 1 )
+        {
+            return false;
+        }
+
+        return true;
+    }
+
+    public long getTotalDonations()
+    {
+        Set<String> members =
+            redisClient.zrange( List.of( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, "0",
+                                         "-1" ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+        return sum( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, members );
+    }
+
+    public long getTotalNonDonations()
+    {
+        Set<String> members =
+            redisClient.zrange( List.of( keyOfChurchSortedSet, "0",
+                                         "-1" ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+        return sum( keyOfChurchSortedSet, members );
+    }
+
+    private long sum( String set, Set<String> members )
+    {
+        long sum = 0;
+        for ( String member : members )
+        {
+            sum += redisClient.zscore( set, member ).toLong();
+        }
+        return sum;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..23639cd8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ExcuseDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfExcuseSet = "excuses";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    public void addExcuse( String excuse )
+    {
+        redisClient.sadd( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet, excuse ) );
+    }
+
+    public String getRandExcuse()
+    {
+        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet ) ).toString();
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..708a376f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,145 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class GroupDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfGroupSetsPrefix = "groups-";
+
+    private static final String opGroupName = "ops";
+
+    private static final String adminGroupName = "admins";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    /**
+     * Checks if the the Admin group is empty.
+     * 
+     * @return true iff the Admin group has no members.
+     */
+    public boolean noAdmins()
+    {
+        return groupSize( adminGroupName ) == 0;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Checks if the given nick is in the Admins group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to check
+     * @return true iff the nick is in the Admin group
+     */
+    public boolean isAdmin( String nick )
+    {
+        return isInGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Checks if the given nick is in the Operators group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to check
+     * @return true iff the nick is in the Op group
+     */
+    public boolean isOp( String nick )
+    {
+        return isInGroup( opGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Checks if the given nick is in the given group.
+     * 
+     * @param group The group name to check
+     * @param nick The nick to check
+     * @return true iff the nick is in the Op group
+     */
+    private boolean isInGroup( String group, String nick )
+    {
+        return nick != null && redisClient.sismember( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick ).toBoolean();
+    }
+
+    private long groupSize( String group )
+    {
+        return redisClient.scard( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group ).toLong();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Adds the given nick to the Admins group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to add
+     * @return true iff the nick was not already there
+     */
+    public boolean addAdmin( String nick )
+    {
+        return addToGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Adds the given nick to the Operators group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to add
+     * @return true iff the nick was not already there
+     */
+    public boolean addOp( String nick )
+    {
+        return addToGroup( opGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Adds the given nick to the given group. Makes a new group if it doesn't exist.
+     * 
+     * @param group The group name to use
+     * @param nick The nick to add
+     * @return true iff a new element was inserted
+     */
+    private boolean addToGroup( String group, String nick )
+    {
+        long reply = redisClient.sadd( List.of( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick ) ).toLong();
+        return reply == 1;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Removes the given nick from the Admins group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to remove
+     * @return true iff the nick existed
+     */
+    public boolean remAdmin( String nick )
+    {
+        return remFromGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Removes the given nick from the Operators group.
+     * 
+     * @param nick The nick to remove
+     * @return true iff the nick existed
+     */
+    public boolean remOp( String nick )
+    {
+        return remFromGroup( opGroupName, nick );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Removes the given nick to the given group.
+     * 
+     * @param group The group name to use
+     * @param nick The nick to remove
+     * @return true iff an element was removed
+     */
+    private boolean remFromGroup( String group, String nick )
+    {
+        long reply = redisClient.srem( List.of( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick ) ).toLong();
+        return reply == 1;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..fe349a40
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,183 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class KarmaDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfKarmaSortedSet = "noun-karma";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    /**
+     * Change the karma of a noun by an integer.
+     * 
+     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
+     * @param mod The amount to change the karma by, may be negative.
+     */
+    public void modNounKarma( String noun, Integer mod )
+    {
+        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, mod.toString(), noun );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the karma of a noun.
+     * 
+     * @param noun The noun to query to karma of
+     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public Optional<Long> getNounKarma( String noun )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma.
+     * 
+     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
+     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public Optional<Long> getNounRank( String noun )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma, starting at most negative karma.
+     * 
+     * @param noun The noun to query the reverse rank of
+     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
+     */
+    public Optional<Long> getNounRevRank( String noun )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong).map( revRank -> revRank
+            + 1 );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get noun from a karma rank (Rank 1 is the member with the highest karma).
+     * 
+     * @param rank The rank to get the noun of.
+     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
+     */
+    public String getRankNoun( long rank )
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns = getRankNouns( rank - 1, rank );
+
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.iterator().hasNext() )
+        {
+            return nouns.iterator().next();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get nouns from karma ranks.
+     * 
+     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
+     */
+    public Set<String> getRankNouns( Long lower, Long upper )
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns =
+            redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, lower.toString(),
+                                            upper.toString() ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+
+        if ( nouns.size() == 0 )
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+
+        return nouns;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get noun from a karma rank, starting with the lowest ranks (Rank 1 would be the member with the least karma).
+     * 
+     * @param rank The reversed rank to get the noun of.
+     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
+     */
+    public String getRevRankNoun( long rank )
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns = getRevRankNouns( rank - 1, rank );
+
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.iterator().hasNext() )
+        {
+            return nouns.iterator().next();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get nouns from a karma rank, starting with the lowest ranks.
+     * 
+     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
+     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
+     */
+    public Set<String> getRevRankNouns( Long lower, Long upper )
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns =
+            redisClient.zrange( List.of( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, lower.toString(),
+                                         upper.toString() ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+
+        if ( nouns.size() == 0 )
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+
+        return nouns;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Remove noun from the karma/rank set.
+     * 
+     * @param noun The noun to remove, if it exists.
+     * @return true iff the noun existed before removing it.
+     */
+    public boolean remNoun( String noun )
+    {
+        Long existed = redisClient.zrem( List.of( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun ) ).toLong();
+
+        if ( existed == null || existed != 1 )
+        {
+            return false;
+        }
+        return true;
+    }
+
+    public long getTotalKarma()
+    {
+        Set<String> members =
+            redisClient.zrange( List.of( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, "0",
+                                         "-1" ) ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+        return sum( members );
+    }
+
+    private long sum( Set<String> members )
+    {
+        long sum = 0;
+        for ( String member : members )
+        {
+            sum += redisClient.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, member ).toLong();
+        }
+        return sum;
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..66ffbe00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class LastSeenDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfLastSeenHash = "last-seen";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    public Optional<Long> getLastSeenTime( String nick )
+    {
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.hget( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick ).toLong() );
+    }
+
+    public void updateLastSeenTime( String nick )
+    {
+        Long milliTime = System.currentTimeMillis();
+        redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick, milliTime.toString() ) );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..696fb4c0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import org.apache.commons.lang3.StringUtils;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+
+/**
+ * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class LogDB
+{
+
+    public static String logKey = "chat-log";
+
+    private static final int MAX_LOG_SIZE = 100000;
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    public void addItem( String chatMessage )
+    {
+        if ( redisClient.strlen( logKey ).toLong() > MAX_LOG_SIZE )
+        {
+            redisClient.set( List.of( logKey, StringUtils.right( redisClient.get( logKey ).toString(),
+                                                                 MAX_LOG_SIZE - chatMessage.length() ) ) );
+        }
+        redisClient.append( logKey, chatMessage );
+    }
+
+    public String getLog()
+    {
+        return redisClient.get( logKey ).toString();
+    }
+
+    public void deleteLog()
+    {
+        redisClient.del( List.of( logKey ) );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..135562ea
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,166 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.wildfly.security.password.PasswordFactory;
+import org.wildfly.security.password.WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider;
+import org.wildfly.security.password.interfaces.MaskedPassword;
+import org.wildfly.security.password.spec.EncryptablePasswordSpec;
+import org.wildfly.security.password.spec.MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
+import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
+import java.security.spec.InvalidKeySpecException;
+import java.util.Base64;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.UUID;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class PasswordDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfPassHash = "password";
+
+    private static final String keyOfPassSaltsHash = "password-salts";
+
+    private static final String PASSWORD_ALGORITHM = MaskedPassword.ALGORITHM_MASKED_HMAC_SHA512_AES_256;
+
+    private static final int ITERATION_COUNT = 10;
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.security.secret-key" )
+    String secretKey;
+
+    WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider passwordProvider;
+
+    PasswordFactory passwordFactory;
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    void setupPasswordFactory()
+        throws NoSuchAlgorithmException
+    {
+        passwordProvider = new WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider();
+        passwordFactory = PasswordFactory.getInstance( PASSWORD_ALGORITHM, passwordProvider );
+    }
+
+    // Note, there is some overlap in terms between the crypto term "Secure Hash" and the Redis structure "Hash". Redis
+    // hashes are maps, though called hashes because of a common method of implementing them via a hash function. Except
+    // for keyOfPassHash and keyOfPassSaltsHash, every use of "hash" in this file refers to the cryptography term.
+
+    /**
+     * @return A long random string
+     */
+    private String generateSalt()
+    {
+        return UUID.randomUUID().toString();
+    }
+
+    private String getSalt( String username )
+    {
+        return redisClient.hget( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username ).toString();
+    }
+
+    private MaskedPassword getMaskedPassword( String salt, String input )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec maskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec =
+                new MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec( secretKey.toCharArray(), ITERATION_COUNT, salt.getBytes() );
+            EncryptablePasswordSpec encryptableSpec =
+                new EncryptablePasswordSpec( input.toCharArray(), maskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec );
+            passwordFactory.generatePassword( encryptableSpec );
+            return (MaskedPassword) passwordFactory.generatePassword( encryptableSpec );
+        }
+        catch ( InvalidKeySpecException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to hash password", e );
+        }
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Checks the validity of a password for a user
+     * 
+     * @param username user to check the password of
+     * @param password the password to check
+     * @return true iff the given password is valid
+     */
+    public boolean isValidPassword( String username, String password )
+    {
+        String storedBase64Hash = redisClient.hget( keyOfPassHash, username ).toString();
+        byte[] storedHash = Base64.getDecoder().decode( storedBase64Hash );
+        String salt = getSalt( username );
+
+        try
+        {
+            MaskedPassword rawPassword = MaskedPassword.createRaw( PASSWORD_ALGORITHM, secretKey.toCharArray(),
+                                                                   ITERATION_COUNT, salt.getBytes(), storedHash );
+            MaskedPassword userPassword = (MaskedPassword) passwordFactory.translate( rawPassword );
+            return passwordFactory.verify( userPassword, password.toCharArray() );
+        }
+        catch ( InvalidKeyException e )
+        {
+            return false;
+        }
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Remove a user and their password information, if they exist.
+     * 
+     * @param username unique user name
+     */
+    public void removeUserPassword( String username )
+    {
+        redisClient.multi();
+        redisClient.hdel( List.of( keyOfPassHash, username ) );
+        redisClient.hdel( List.of( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username ) );
+        redisClient.exec();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Add or modify a user's password
+     * 
+     * @param username unique user name
+     * @param password the user's password (will be hashed)
+     * @return true iff a new element was inserted
+     */
+    public boolean setUserPassword( String username, String password )
+    {
+        boolean newUser;
+        do
+        {
+            // Can't use intermediate results of a Redis transaction in that transaction, so watch the keys and do
+            // the query before opening the transaction. The transaction will fail on exec() call if the keys
+            // changed.
+            redisClient.watch( List.of( keyOfPassHash, keyOfPassSaltsHash ) );
+            boolean exists = redisClient.hexists( keyOfPassHash, username ).toBoolean();
+
+            redisClient.multi();
+            // Create a salt as well as the new password entry if the user is new
+            if ( !exists )
+            {
+                newUser = true;
+                String salt = generateSalt();
+                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt ) );
+                MaskedPassword hash = getMaskedPassword( password, salt );
+                String hashBase64String = Base64.getEncoder().encodeToString( hash.getMaskedPasswordBytes() );
+                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassHash, username, hashBase64String ) );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                newUser = false;
+            }
+        }
+        while ( redisClient.exec() == null );
+        return newUser;
+    }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..dbac56ba
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,160 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.LinkedList;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class QuoteFactDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix = "noun-quotes-";
+
+    private static final String keyOfFactSetsPrefix = "noun-facts-";
+
+    private static final int COUNT = 5;
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    /**
+     * Add a quote to the quote set of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to add a quote to
+     * @param quote The new quote
+     */
+    public void addQuote( String noun, String quote )
+    {
+        redisClient.sadd( List.of( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun, quote ) );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the quotes of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
+     * @return The set of quotes for the noun
+     */
+    public Set<String> getQuotes( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.smembers( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix
+            + noun ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get a random quote from the set of quotes of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
+     * @return A random quote for the noun
+     */
+    public String getRandomQuote( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun ) ).toString();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the number of quotes associated with a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
+     * @return The number of quotes
+     */
+    public Long getQuotesLength( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.scard( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun ).toLong();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get 5 random quotes from the set of facts of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
+     * @return A List of 5 random quotes for the noun
+     */
+    public List<String> getRandomQuotes( String noun )
+    {
+        List<String> randomQuotes = new LinkedList<String>();
+
+        // TODO: This implementation is wrong; doesn't handle
+        // duplicate quotes or when quotes have less than 5 members
+        for ( int i = 0; i < COUNT; i++ )
+        {
+            String quote = getRandomQuote( noun );
+            randomQuotes.add( quote );
+        }
+        return randomQuotes;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Add a fact to the fact set of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to add the fact to
+     * @param quote The new quote
+     */
+    public void addFact( String noun, String quote )
+    {
+        redisClient.sadd( List.of( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun, quote ) );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the facts of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
+     * @return The set of facts for the noun
+     */
+    public Set<String> getFacts( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.smembers( keyOfFactSetsPrefix
+            + noun ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get a random fact from the set of facts of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
+     * @return A random fact for the noun
+     */
+    public String getRandomFact( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun ) ).toString();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the number of facts associated with a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
+     * @return The number of facts
+     */
+    public Long getFactsLength( String noun )
+    {
+        return redisClient.scard( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun ).toLong();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get 5 random facts from the set of facts of a noun.
+     *
+     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
+     * @return A List of 5 random facts for the noun
+     */
+    public List<String> getRandomFacts( String noun )
+    {
+        List<String> randomFact = new LinkedList<String>();
+
+        // TODO: This implementation is wrong; doesn't handle
+        // duplicate facts or when quotes have less than 5 members
+        for ( int i = 0; i < COUNT; i++ )
+        {
+            String quote = getRandomFact( noun );
+            randomFact.add( quote );
+        }
+        return randomFact;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4aabf10e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
@@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.*;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class UserlistDB
+{
+    private static final String keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix = "userlist-";
+
+    @Inject
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    /**
+     * Get the nicks in a userlist.
+     * 
+     * @param listName The name of the list
+     * @return The set of nicks for the list
+     */
+    public Set<String> getUsersIn( String listName )
+    {
+        return redisClient.smembers( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix
+            + listName ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Add the given nicks to a userlist.
+     * 
+     * @param listName The name of the list param The set of nicks for the list
+     * @param nicks The nicks to add
+     */
+    public void addUsersTo( String listName, Collection<String> nicks )
+    {
+        List<String> args = new ArrayList<>( nicks.size() + 1 );
+        args.add( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + listName );
+        args.addAll( nicks );
+        redisClient.sadd( args );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Remove the given nicks from a userlist.
+     * 
+     * @param listName The name of the list param The set of nicks for the list
+     * @param nicks The nicks to remove
+     */
+    public void removeUsersFrom( String listName, Collection<String> nicks )
+    {
+        List<String> args = new ArrayList<>( nicks.size() + 1 );
+        args.add( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + listName );
+        args.addAll( nicks );
+        redisClient.srem( args );
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Get the set of the available userlists.
+     * 
+     * @return The set of userlists
+     */
+    public Set<String> getLists()
+    {
+        // KEYS is O(n) operation, so it won't scale propery for large numbers of database keys.
+        // We're going to use it here however, as the number of keys in our database should never get large enough
+        // for this to matter, and the alternative of maintaining a set of userlists has the potential to be buggy.
+        Set<String> rawlists = redisClient.keys( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix
+            + "*" ).stream().map( Response::toString ).collect( Collectors.toSet() );
+        Set<String> lists = new HashSet<String>();
+
+        // Strip the prefix from each of the keys to isolate the list name
+        int cut = keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix.length();
+        for ( String rawlist : rawlists )
+        {
+            String list = rawlist.substring( cut );
+            lists.add( list );
+        }
+
+        return lists;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3c0538f4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,181 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.inject.Named;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+@Named( "karma" )
+public class KarmaService
+{
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!total" )
+    public String total()
+    {
+        return "" + karmaDB.getTotalKarma();
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!topthree" )
+    public String getTopThree()
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns = karmaDB.getRankNouns( 0L, 2L );
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            return nouns.stream().map( noun -> getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, false,
+                                                                         true ) ).collect( Collectors.joining( "\n" ) );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No nouns at ranks 1 to 3.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!bottomthree" )
+    public String getBottomThree()
+    {
+        Set<String> nouns = karmaDB.getRevRankNouns( 0L, 2L );
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            return nouns.stream().map( noun -> getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, true,
+                                                                         true ) ).collect( Collectors.joining( "\n" ) );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No nouns at ranks 1 to 3.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*?@nounList.*?" )
+    public void karmaInc( @Regex(Nick.regex + "\\+\\+" ) @Delimiter( "\\w.+" ) List<String> nounList )
+    {
+        for ( String noun : nounList )
+        {
+            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
+            System.out.println(nick.getFullNick());
+            System.out.println(nick.getBaseNick());
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), 1 );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*@nounList.*?" )
+    public void karmaDec( @Regex(Nick.regex + "--" ) @Delimiter( ".*?" ) List<String> nounList )
+    {
+        for ( String noun : nounList )
+        {
+            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*@nounList.*?" )
+    public void karmaIncOrDec( @Regex(Nick.regex + "\\+-" ) @Delimiter( ".*?" ) List<String> nounList )
+    {
+        for ( String noun : nounList )
+        {
+            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!rank @nick" )
+    public String rank( Nick nick )
+    {
+        return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( nick.getBaseNick() );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank @nick" )
+    public String revrank( Nick nick )
+    {
+        return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), true );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!rank" )
+    public String selfRank( ChannelMessage message )
+    {
+        return rank(message.getNick());
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank" )
+    public String selfRevrank( ChannelMessage message )
+    {
+        return revrank(message.getNick());
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun )
+    {
+        return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, false );
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, boolean reverseOrder )
+    {
+        return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, reverseOrder, false );
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, boolean reverseOrder, boolean obfuscateNick )
+    {
+        return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, reverseOrder, obfuscateNick, false );
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, boolean reverseOrder, boolean obfuscateNick,
+                                             boolean useTitle )
+    {
+        Optional<Long> maybeNounRank;
+        if ( reverseOrder )
+            maybeNounRank = karmaDB.getNounRevRank( noun );
+        else
+            maybeNounRank = karmaDB.getNounRank( noun );
+
+        Optional<Long> maybeNounKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( noun );
+
+        if ( useTitle && churchDB.isTopDonor( noun ) )
+        {
+            String title = churchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
+            if ( title.trim().length() > 0 )
+            {
+                noun = title;
+            }
+        }
+
+        if ( maybeNounRank.isPresent() && maybeNounKarma.isPresent() )
+        {
+            long nounRank = maybeNounRank.get();
+            long nounKarma = maybeNounKarma.get();
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+
+            sb.append( noun );
+            if ( obfuscateNick )
+                sb.reverse();
+
+            sb.append( " is " );
+            sb.append( "ranked at " );
+
+            if ( reverseOrder )
+                sb.append( "(reverse) " );
+
+            sb.append( "#" );
+            sb.append( nounRank );
+            sb.append( " with " );
+            sb.append( nounKarma );
+            sb.append( " points of karma." );
+
+            return sb.toString();
+        }
+        return noun + " has no karma.";
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..eb69772f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Named;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class UserPing
+{
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
+    public String ping( ChannelMessage ircMessage )
+    {
+        return ircMessage.getNick().getBaseNick() + ": pong";
+    }
+
+    // @Override
+    // public void configure() throws Exception {
+    // fromMainChannel()
+    // .pipeline()
+    // .filter(messageTextMatches(text -> text.equals("!ping")))
+    // .process(reply(ircMessage -> ircMessage.getUser().getNick() + ": pong"))
+    // .to(getMainChannel());
+    // }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..8266abed
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,170 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
+    <meta charset="UTF-8">
+    <title>code-with-quarkus - 1.0.0-SNAPSHOT</title>
+    <style>
+        h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {
+            margin-bottom: 0.5rem;
+            font-weight: 400;
+            line-height: 1.5;
+        }
+
+        h1 {
+            font-size: 2.5rem;
+        }
+
+        h2 {
+            font-size: 2rem
+        }
+
+        h3 {
+            font-size: 1.75rem
+
+        }
+
+        h4 {
+            font-size: 1.5rem
+        }
+
+        h5 {
+            font-size: 1.25rem
+        }
+
+        h6 {
+            font-size: 1rem
+        }
+
+        .lead {
+            font-weight: 300;
+            font-size: 2rem;
+        }
+
+        .banner {
+            font-size: 2.7rem;
+            margin: 0;
+            padding: 2rem 1rem;
+            background-color: #0d1c2c;
+            color: white;
+        }
+
+        body {
+            margin: 0;
+            font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Noto Color Emoji";
+        }
+
+        code {
+            font-family: SFMono-Regular, Menlo, Monaco, Consolas, "Liberation Mono", "Courier New", monospace;
+            font-size: 87.5%;
+            color: #e83e8c;
+            word-break: break-word;
+        }
+
+        .left-column {
+            padding: .75rem;
+            max-width: 75%;
+            min-width: 55%;
+        }
+
+        .right-column {
+            padding: .75rem;
+            max-width: 25%;
+        }
+
+        .container {
+            display: flex;
+            width: 100%;
+        }
+
+        li {
+            margin: 0.75rem;
+        }
+
+        .right-section {
+            margin-left: 1rem;
+            padding-left: 0.5rem;
+        }
+
+        .right-section h3 {
+            padding-top: 0;
+            font-weight: 200;
+        }
+
+        .right-section ul {
+            border-left: 0.3rem solid #71aeef;
+            list-style-type: none;
+            padding-left: 0;
+        }
+
+        .example-code {
+            border-left: 0.3rem solid #71aeef;
+            padding-left: 10px;
+        }
+
+        .example-code h3 {
+            font-weight: 200;
+        }
+    </style>
+</head>
+<body>
+
+<div class="banner lead">
+    Your new Cloud-Native application is ready!
+</div>
+
+<div class="container">
+    <div class="left-column">
+        <p class="lead"> Congratulations, you have created a new Quarkus cloud application.</p>
+
+        <h2>What is this page?</h2>
+
+        <p>This page is served by Quarkus. The source is in
+            <code>src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html</code>.</p>
+
+        <h2>What are your next steps?</h2>
+
+        <p>If not already done, run the application in <em>dev mode</em> using: <code>./mvnw compile quarkus:dev</code>.
+        </p>
+        <ul>
+            <li>Your static assets are located in <code>src/main/resources/META-INF/resources</code>.</li>
+            <li>Configure your application in <code>src/main/resources/application.properties</code>.</li>
+            <li>Quarkus now ships with a <a href="/q/dev/">Dev UI</a> (available in dev mode only)</li>
+            <li>Play with the getting started example code located in <code>src/main/java</code>:</li>
+        </ul>
+                <div class="example-code">
+            <h3>RESTEasy JAX-RS example</h3>
+            <p>REST is easy peasy with this Hello World RESTEasy resource.</p>
+            <p><code>@Path: <a href="/hello-resteasy" class="path-link" target="_blank">/hello-resteasy</a></code></p>
+            <p><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started#the-jax-rs-resources" class="guide-link" target="_blank">Related guide section...</a></p>
+        </div>
+
+    </div>
+    <div class="right-column">
+        <div class="right-section">
+            <h3>Application</h3>
+            <ul>
+                <li>GroupId: <code>org.acme</code></li>
+                <li>ArtifactId: <code>code-with-quarkus</code></li>
+                <li>Version: <code>1.0.0-SNAPSHOT</code></li>
+                <li>Quarkus Version: <code>1.13.2.Final</code></li>
+            </ul>
+        </div>
+        <div class="right-section">
+            <h3>Do you like Quarkus?</h3>
+            <ul>
+                <li>Go give it a star on <a href="https://github.com/quarkusio/quarkus">GitHub</a>.</li>
+            </ul>
+        </div>
+        <div class="right-section">
+            <h3>More reading</h3>
+            <ul>
+                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/maven-tooling.html" target="_blank">Setup your IDE</a></li>
+                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started.html" target="_blank">Getting started</a></li>
+                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/" target="_blank">All guides</a></li>
+                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io" target="_blank">Quarkus Web Site</a></li>
+            </ul>
+        </div>
+    </div>
+</div>
+</body>
+</html>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e752d5a5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+# Public configuration
+vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
+vilebot.default.channel=#provinggrounds
+
+# Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
+vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
+vilebot.irc.port=6667
+vilebot.security.secret-key=my-secret-key
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..64555b8e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+docker run -it --rm=true --memory-swappiness=0 --name redis_quarkus_test -p 6379:6379 redis:5.0.6

From 042f0767ca21f9112a2d905755c07f2e45e97bbf Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 25 May 2021 23:23:51 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 02/79] Refactor the code to use Kitteh

---
 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml            |  21 +-
 .../deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java    |  86 --------
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     | 204 +++++++-----------
 .../deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java       |   2 -
 quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml                       |  14 +-
 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml               |  18 +-
 .../main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java  |  12 +-
 .../vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java   |  44 ++++
 .../vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java      |  28 ---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java |  72 ++-----
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  16 --
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |  62 +++---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java   |  18 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |  31 +++
 14 files changed, 223 insertions(+), 405 deletions(-)
 delete mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
 delete mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
index 4ad5e6aa..4b86f721 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
@@ -26,26 +26,7 @@
             <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
             <artifactId>quarkus-vertx-deployment</artifactId>
         </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core-deployment</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-support-common-deployment</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc-deployment</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-direct-deployment</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>quarkus-hibernate-validator-deployment</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
+
         <dependency>
             <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
             <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 1fc2e818..00000000
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcListenerImplementor.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,86 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
-import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
-import io.quarkus.gizmo.ClassCreator;
-import io.quarkus.gizmo.MethodCreator;
-import io.quarkus.gizmo.MethodDescriptor;
-import io.quarkus.gizmo.ResultHandle;
-import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
-import org.apache.camel.model.MulticastDefinition;
-import org.apache.camel.model.ProcessorDefinition;
-import org.apache.camel.model.RouteDefinition;
-import org.jboss.jandex.AnnotationInstance;
-import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
-import org.jboss.jandex.IndexView;
-
-import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
-import java.util.*;
-
-public class IrcListenerImplementor {
-    private final IndexView indexView;
-    private final GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput;
-
-    private static final DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
-
-    public IrcListenerImplementor(IndexView indexView, GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput) {
-        this.indexView = indexView;
-        this.classOutput = classOutput;
-    }
-
-    public void generateImplementation() {
-        ClassCreator classCreator = ClassCreator.builder()
-                .className(IRCService.class.getName() + "$ListenerImplementation")
-                .classOutput(classOutput)
-                .superClass(IRCService.class)
-                .build();
-
-        classCreator.addAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class);
-        MethodCreator methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "configure", void.class));
-
-        Map<String, ResultHandle> listeningEndpointMap = getListeningEndpoints(methodCreator);
-
-        listeningEndpointMap.forEach((channel, channelResultHandle) -> {
-            ResultHandle fromResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteBuilder.class, "from", RouteDefinition.class, String.class),
-                    methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
-            ResultHandle multicastResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteDefinition.class, "multicast", MulticastDefinition.class),
-                    fromResultHandle);
-
-            methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "to", ProcessorDefinition.class, String[].class),
-                    multicastResultHandle, getTargetEndpoints(methodCreator, channel));
-        });
-
-        methodCreator.returnValue(null);
-
-        classCreator.close();
-    }
-
-    private Map<String, ResultHandle> getListeningEndpoints(MethodCreator methodCreator) {
-        Set<String> endpointStringValueSet = new HashSet<>();
-        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView.getAnnotations(onChannelMessageDotName)) {
-            endpointStringValueSet.add(annotationInstance.valueWithDefault(indexView, "channel").asString());
-        }
-
-        Map<String, ResultHandle> out = new HashMap<>(endpointStringValueSet.size());
-        for (String endpointStringValue : endpointStringValueSet) {
-            out.put(endpointStringValue, methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
-                    methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(endpointStringValue)));
-        }
-        return out;
-    }
-
-    private ResultHandle getTargetEndpoints(MethodCreator methodCreator, String channelName) {
-        List<ResultHandle> targetEndpointList = new ArrayList<>();
-        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView.getAnnotations(onChannelMessageDotName)) {
-            if ((annotationInstance.valueWithDefault(indexView, "channel").asString().equals(channelName))) {
-                targetEndpointList.add(methodCreator.load(IrcServiceImplementor.getDirectNameForMethod(annotationInstance.target().asMethod())));
-            }
-        }
-        ResultHandle out = methodCreator.newArray(String.class, targetEndpointList.size());
-        for (int i = 0; i < targetEndpointList.size(); i++) {
-            methodCreator.writeArrayValue(out, i, targetEndpointList.get(i));
-        }
-        return out;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 9c9b23ff..3cfcd76f 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -4,27 +4,20 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.gizmo.*;
 import io.vertx.codegen.annotations.Nullable;
-import org.apache.camel.Message;
-import org.apache.camel.Predicate;
-import org.apache.camel.Processor;
-import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
-import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
-import org.apache.camel.model.*;
-import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
-import org.jboss.jandex.MethodInfo;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Invoke;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
-import java.io.PrintStream;
 import java.lang.reflect.*;
 import java.util.*;
-import java.util.function.Consumer;
-import java.util.function.Function;
 import java.util.regex.Matcher;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -34,11 +27,13 @@ public class IrcServiceImplementor {
     private final GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput;
     private ClassCreator classCreator;
     private MethodCreator methodCreator;
-    private ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle;
+    private FieldDescriptor ircServiceField;
+    private Set<String> channelSet;
 
     public IrcServiceImplementor(GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput, Class<?> ircServiceClass) {
         this.ircServiceClass = ircServiceClass;
         this.classOutput = classOutput;
+        channelSet = new HashSet<>();
     }
 
     public String generateImplementation() {
@@ -55,21 +50,31 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
 
         classCreator.addAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class);
 
-        FieldDescriptor ircServiceField = FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), "ircService", ircServiceClass);
+        ircServiceField = FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), "ircService", ircServiceClass);
         classCreator.getFieldCreator(ircServiceField)
                     .setModifiers(Modifier.PUBLIC)
                     .addAnnotation(Inject.class);
 
-        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "configure", void.class));
-        ircServiceResultHandle = methodCreator.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
-
         for (Method method : ircServiceClass.getDeclaredMethods()) {
             if (hasIrcServiceAnnotation(method) && !Modifier.isPublic(method.getModifiers())) {
                 throw new IllegalStateException("IRC Service annotation detected on non-public method (" + method.toGenericString() + "). Maybe make the method public?" );
             }
             Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnChannelMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnChannelMessage(method, annotation));
         }
-        methodCreator.returnValue(null);
+
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannelsToJoin",
+                Collection.class));
+        ResultHandle outputArray = methodCreator.newInstance(MethodDescriptor.ofConstructor(ArrayList.class, int.class),
+                methodCreator.load(channelSet.size()));
+        channelSet.forEach(channel -> {
+            ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(channel);
+            ResultHandle actualChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
+                    methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
+            methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Collection.class, "add", boolean.class, Object.class),
+                    outputArray, actualChannel);
+        });
+        methodCreator.returnValue(outputArray);
+
         classCreator.close();
         return generatedClassName;
     }
@@ -82,66 +87,85 @@ private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
      * Generates code that looks like this:
      *
      * <pre>
-     *   Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile(...);
-     *   from("direct:methodId")
-     *       .pipeline()
-     *           .filter(messageTextMatches(pattern.asPredicate()))
-     *           .process(reply(ircMessage -> {
-     *               Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(ircMessage.getMessage());
-     *               Integer intArg = Integer.parseInt(matcher.group("intArg"));
-     *               String stringArg = matcher.group("stringArg");
-     *               return service.theMethod(intArg, stringArg);
-     *           }))
-     *           .to(getChannel("#example"));
+     *   @Handler
+     *   public void method$Handler(ChannelMessage channelMessage) {
+     *       if (!targetChannel.equals(channelMessage.getChannel().getMessagingName())) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile(...);
+     *       Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(channelMessage.getMessage());
+     *       if (!matcher.matches()) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Integer intArg = Integer.parseInt(matcher.group("intArg"));
+     *       String stringArg = matcher.group("stringArg");
+     *       return service.theMethod(intArg, stringArg);
+     *   }
      * </pre>
      * @param method
      * @param onChannelMessage
      */
     private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannelMessage) {
-        ResultHandle fromChannelResultHandle = fromChannel(method);
-        ResultHandle pipeLineResultHandle = pipeLine(fromChannelResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle patternRegexResultHandle  = methodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()));
-        ResultHandle compiledPatternResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
+        channelSet.add(onChannelMessage.channel());
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(method.getName() + "$Handler", void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
+        AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
+        annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", Invoke.Asynchronously);
+        ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(onChannelMessage.channel());
+        ResultHandle actualChannelToCheckResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
+                methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle channelMessageEventResultHandle = methodCreator.getMethodParam(0);
+
+        ResultHandle channelInstanceResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelEvent.class,
+                "getChannel", Channel.class), channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle channelMessagingResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Channel.class,
+                "getMessagingName", String.class), channelInstanceResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle isChannelTarget = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "equals",
+                boolean.class, Object.class), actualChannelToCheckResultHandle, channelMessagingResultHandle);
+
+        BranchResult channelMatchesBranchResult = methodCreator.ifFalse(isChannelTarget);
+        channelMatchesBranchResult.trueBranch().returnValue(null);
+        BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator = channelMatchesBranchResult.falseBranch();
+        ResultHandle patternRegexResultHandle  = matcherBytecodeCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()));
+        ResultHandle compiledPatternResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
                 patternRegexResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle compiledPatternPredicateResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "asPredicate", java.util.function.Predicate.class),
-                compiledPatternResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle camelPredicate = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "messageTextMatches", Predicate.class, java.util.function.Predicate.class),
-                methodCreator.getThis(), compiledPatternPredicateResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle filterResultHandle = filter(pipeLineResultHandle, camelPredicate);
-
-        FunctionCreator processorFunctionCreator = methodCreator.createFunction(getFunctionType(method));
-        BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = processorFunctionCreator.getBytecode();
-
-        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessage.class, "getMessage", String.class),
-                processorBytecode.getMethodParam(0));
-
-        ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
+        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
+                channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
                 compiledPatternResultHandle, ircMessageTextResultHandle);
-
-        processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
+        ResultHandle matchesResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
                 patternMatcherResultHandle);
+        BranchResult branchResult = matcherBytecodeCreator.ifFalse(matchesResultHandle);
+        branchResult.trueBranch().returnValue(null);
+        BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = branchResult.falseBranch();
+        ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle = processorBytecode.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
 
         ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles = new ResultHandle[method.getParameterCount()];
         for (int i = 0; i < method.getParameterCount(); i++) {
             Parameter parameter = method.getParameters()[i];
-            if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessage.class)) {
-                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.getMethodParam(0);
+            if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessageEvent.class)) {
+                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = channelMessageEventResultHandle;
             } else {
                 methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle);
             }
         }
         ResultHandle methodResult = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(method),
                 ircServiceResultHandle, methodArgumentResultHandles);
-        processorBytecode.returnValue(getReturnValue(processorBytecode, method, methodResult));
-
-        ResultHandle processorFunctionResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(getProcessorForMethod(method),
-                methodCreator.getThis(), processorFunctionCreator.getInstance());
-        ResultHandle processorResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "process", ProcessorDefinition.class,
-                Processor.class), filterResultHandle, processorFunctionResultHandle);
+        ResultHandle stringReturnValue = getReturnValue(processorBytecode, method, methodResult);
 
         if (!method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
-            toChannel(processorResultHandle, onChannelMessage.channel());
+            BytecodeCreator replyBytecodeCreator = processorBytecode.ifNotNull(stringReturnValue).trueBranch();
+            ResultHandle splitResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "split", String[].class,
+                    String.class), stringReturnValue, replyBytecodeCreator.load("\n"));
+            AssignableResultHandle indexResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.createVariable(int.class);
+            replyBytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, replyBytecodeCreator.load(0));
+            BytecodeCreator replyLoopBytecodeCreator = replyBytecodeCreator.whileLoop(conditionCreator ->
+                conditionCreator.ifIntegerLessThan(indexResultHandle, conditionCreator.arrayLength(splitResultHandle))
+            ).block();
+            replyLoopBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "sendReply", void.class, String.class),
+                    channelMessageEventResultHandle, replyLoopBytecodeCreator.readArrayValue(splitResultHandle, indexResultHandle));
+            replyLoopBytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, replyLoopBytecodeCreator.increment(indexResultHandle));
         }
+        processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
     }
 
     private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Parameter parameter, ResultHandle matcherResultHandle) {
@@ -281,26 +305,6 @@ private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
         }
     }
 
-    private MethodDescriptor getProcessorForMethod(Method method) {
-        if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
-            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "reply", Processor.class, Function.class);
-        } else if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
-            return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "handleMessage", Processor.class, Consumer.class);
-        } else {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal return type (" + method.getReturnType() + ") for method (" + method.getName() + ").");
-        }
-    }
-
-    private Class<?> getFunctionType(Method method) {
-        if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
-            return Function.class;
-        } else if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
-            return Consumer.class;
-        } else {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal return type (" + method.getReturnType() + ") for method (" + method.getName() + ").");
-        }
-    }
-
     private ResultHandle getReturnValue(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Method method, ResultHandle methodReturnValue) {
         if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
             return null;
@@ -310,50 +314,4 @@ private ResultHandle getReturnValue(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Method meth
             return bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "valueOf", String.class, Object.class), methodReturnValue);
         }
     }
-
-    public static String getDirectNameForMethod(Method method) {
-        return encodeForDirect(method.getDeclaringClass().getName() + "-" + method.getName() + "-" + Arrays.stream(method.getParameters())
-                    .map(Parameter::getType).map(Class::getName)
-                    .collect(Collectors.joining("-")));
-    }
-
-    public static String getDirectNameForMethod(MethodInfo method) {
-        return encodeForDirect(method.declaringClass().name().toString() + "-" + method.name() + "-" + method.parameters().stream()
-                .map(org.jboss.jandex.Type::name)
-                .map(DotName::toString)
-                .collect(Collectors.joining("-")));
-    }
-
-    private static String encodeForDirect(String name) {
-        return "direct:" + name;
-    }
-
-    private ResultHandle fromChannel(Method method) {
-        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteBuilder.class, "from", RouteDefinition.class, String.class),
-                methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(getDirectNameForMethod(method)));
-    }
-
-    private ResultHandle toChannel(ResultHandle processorResult, String channel) {
-        ResultHandle theChannel;
-        if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
-            theChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getMainChannel", String.class),
-                    methodCreator.getThis());
-        } else {
-            theChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel",
-                    String.class, String.class), methodCreator.getThis(), methodCreator.load(channel));
-        }
-        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ProcessorDefinition.class, "to", ProcessorDefinition.class, String.class),
-                processorResult, theChannel);
-    }
-
-    private ResultHandle pipeLine(ResultHandle routeDefinitionResultHandle) {
-        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(RouteDefinition.class, "pipeline", PipelineDefinition.class),
-                routeDefinitionResultHandle);
-    }
-
-    private ResultHandle filter(ResultHandle pipelineDefinitionResultHandle, ResultHandle predicate) {
-        return methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(PipelineDefinition.class, "filter", FilterDefinition.class,
-                Predicate.class),
-                pipelineDefinitionResultHandle, predicate);
-    }
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
index efffd116..21d53996 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -51,7 +51,5 @@ void createIrcServiceImplementations(
                 throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to find class (" + classInfo.name() + ").", e);
             }
         }
-        IrcListenerImplementor ircListenerImplementor = new IrcListenerImplementor(indexView, classOutput);
-        ircListenerImplementor.generateImplementation();
     }
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
index 8984eb90..e9d94e53 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
         <maven.compiler.release>11</maven.compiler.release>
         <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
         <quarkus.version>1.11.1.Final</quarkus.version>
-        <camel-quarkus.version>1.8.1</camel-quarkus.version>
+        <kitteh.version>8.0.0</kitteh.version>
         <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
     </properties>
 
@@ -36,13 +36,6 @@
 
     <dependencyManagement>
         <dependencies>
-            <dependency>
-                <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-                <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bom</artifactId>
-                <version>${camel-quarkus.version}</version>
-                <type>pom</type>
-                <scope>import</scope>
-            </dependency>
             <dependency>
                 <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
                 <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
@@ -50,6 +43,11 @@
                 <type>pom</type>
                 <scope>import</scope>
             </dependency>
+            <dependency>
+                <groupId>org.kitteh.irc</groupId>
+                <artifactId>client-lib</artifactId>
+                <version>${kitteh.version}</version>
+            </dependency>
         </dependencies>
     </dependencyManagement>
     <build>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
index ef8d1d6b..12bfe552 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
@@ -20,24 +20,10 @@
         </dependency>
 
         <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core</artifactId>
+            <groupId>org.kitteh.irc</groupId>
+            <artifactId>client-lib</artifactId>
         </dependency>
 
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>camel-quarkus-direct</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
-
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-            <artifactId>quarkus-hibernate-validator</artifactId>
-        </dependency>
     </dependencies>
 
     <build>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
index bc5974c2..f4511db5 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot;
 
-import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 
 import java.util.regex.Matcher;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
@@ -27,11 +28,16 @@ public String getFullNick() {
         return nick;
     }
 
-    public static Nick getUser(IrcMessage ircMessage) {
-        return new Nick((String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.user.nick"));
+    public static Nick getUser(ActorEvent<User> event) {
+        return new Nick(event.getActor().getNick());
     }
 
     public static Nick valueOf(String nick) {
         return new Nick(nick);
     }
+
+    @Override
+    public String toString() {
+        return getBaseNick();
+    }
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..0269a530
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import io.quarkus.runtime.StartupEvent;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.util.StsUtil;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.enterprise.event.Observes;
+import javax.enterprise.inject.Instance;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class BotStartupService {
+
+    @Inject
+    Instance<IRCService> ircServices;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
+    public String ircServer;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.port", defaultValue = "6667")
+    public Integer ircPort;
+
+    public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) {
+        Map<String, Client> botNameToClient = new HashMap<>();
+        ircServices.stream().forEach(ircService -> {
+            Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
+                    nick -> Client.builder()
+                                  .name(nick).nick(nick)
+                                  .server().host(ircServer).port(ircPort, Client.Builder.Server.SecurityType.INSECURE)
+                                  .then()
+                                  .management().stsStorageManager(StsUtil.getDefaultStorageManager())
+                                  .then()
+                                  .build());
+            client.getEventManager().registerEventListener(ircService);
+            ircService.getChannelsToJoin().forEach(client::addChannel);
+            ircService.setBot(client);
+        });
+        botNameToClient.values().forEach(Client::connect);
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
deleted file mode 100644
index a518b4f1..00000000
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChannelMessage.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,28 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
-
-public class ChannelMessage {
-    final Nick nick;
-    final String channel;
-    final String message;
-
-    public ChannelMessage(IrcMessage ircMessage) {
-        nick = Nick.valueOf((String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.user.nick"));
-        channel = (String) ircMessage.getHeader("irc.target");
-        message = ircMessage.getBody(String.class);
-    }
-
-    public Nick getNick() {
-        return nick;
-    }
-
-    public String getChannel() {
-        return channel;
-    }
-
-    public String getMessage() {
-        return message;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
index c1ce80d1..44eb1806 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -1,72 +1,23 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import org.apache.camel.Exchange;
-import org.apache.camel.Predicate;
-import org.apache.camel.Processor;
-import org.apache.camel.builder.RouteBuilder;
-import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
-import org.schwering.irc.lib.IRCUser;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 
-import java.util.function.Consumer;
-import java.util.function.Function;
-
-public abstract class IRCService extends RouteBuilder {
-    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
-    public String ircServer;
-
-    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.port", defaultValue = "6667")
-    public Integer ircPort;
+import java.util.Collection;
 
+public abstract class IRCService {
     @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.nick")
     public String defaultNick;
 
     @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.channel")
     public String defaultChannel;
 
+    private Client bot;
+
     public String botNick() {
         return defaultNick;
     }
 
-    public Predicate messageTextMatches(java.util.function.Predicate<String> predicate) {
-        return messageMatches(ircMessage -> predicate.test(ircMessage.getMessage()));
-    }
-
-    public Predicate messageMatches(java.util.function.Predicate<ChannelMessage> predicate) {
-        return (exchange) -> {
-            ChannelMessage ircMessage = getChannelMessage(exchange);
-            return predicate.test(ircMessage);
-        };
-    }
-
-    public Processor reply(Function<ChannelMessage, String> replyFunction) {
-        return exchange -> {
-            IrcMessage ircMessage = getIrcMessage(exchange);
-            String reply = replyFunction.apply(new ChannelMessage(ircMessage));
-            if (reply != null) {
-                IrcMessage out = new IrcMessage(ircMessage.getCamelContext());
-                out.setMessage(reply);
-                out.setUser(new IRCUser(botNick(), botNick(), ircServer));
-                exchange.setMessage(out);
-            }
-        };
-    }
-
-    public Processor handleMessage(Consumer<ChannelMessage> consumer) {
-        return exchange -> {
-            ChannelMessage channelMessage = getChannelMessage(exchange);
-            consumer.accept(channelMessage);
-        };
-    }
-
-    public IrcMessage getIrcMessage(Exchange exchange) {
-        return exchange.getIn(IrcMessage.class);
-    }
-
-    public ChannelMessage getChannelMessage(Exchange exchange) {
-        return new ChannelMessage(getIrcMessage(exchange));
-    }
-
     public String getMainChannel() {
         return getChannel(defaultChannel);
     }
@@ -75,7 +26,16 @@ public String getChannel(String channel) {
         if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
             return getMainChannel();
         }
-        return String.format("irc:%s@%s:%d?channels=%s&nickname=%s", botNick(),
-                ircServer, ircPort, channel, botNick());
+        return channel;
     }
+
+    public Client getBot() {
+        return bot;
+    }
+
+    public void setBot(Client bot) {
+        this.bot = bot;
+    }
+
+    public abstract Collection<String> getChannelsToJoin();
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 3d3e47e9..64813406 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -55,22 +55,6 @@
       <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
       <version>${project.version}</version>
     </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-core</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bean</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-twitter</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>camel-quarkus-irc</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index 3c0538f4..1b242a7e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -1,16 +1,15 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import javax.inject.Named;
-import java.util.List;
 import java.util.Optional;
 import java.util.Set;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -25,6 +24,9 @@ public class KarmaService
     @Inject
     ChurchDB churchDB;
 
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
     @OnChannelMessage( "!total" )
     public String total()
     {
@@ -61,36 +63,30 @@ public String getBottomThree()
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( ".*?@nounList.*?" )
-    public void karmaInc( @Regex(Nick.regex + "\\+\\+" ) @Delimiter( "\\w.+" ) List<String> nounList )
-    {
-        for ( String noun : nounList )
-        {
-            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
-            System.out.println(nick.getFullNick());
-            System.out.println(nick.getBaseNick());
-            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), 1 );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @OnChannelMessage( ".*@nounList.*?" )
-    public void karmaDec( @Regex(Nick.regex + "--" ) @Delimiter( ".*?" ) List<String> nounList )
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*" )
+    public String karmaIncOrDec( ChannelMessageEvent channelMessage )
     {
-        for ( String noun : nounList )
-        {
-            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
-            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
+        StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+        for ( String noun : channelMessage.getMessage().split("\\s+") ) {
+            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf(noun);
+            if (noun.endsWith("++")) {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), 1);
+            } else if (noun.endsWith("--")) {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), -1);
+            } else if (noun.endsWith("+-")) {
+                int karma = randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ? 1 : -1;
+                String reply = nick + " had their karma ";
+                reply += karma == 1 ? "increased" : "decreased";
+                reply += " by 1";
+                out.append(reply);
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), karma);
+            }
         }
-    }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( ".*@nounList.*?" )
-    public void karmaIncOrDec( @Regex(Nick.regex + "\\+-" ) @Delimiter( ".*?" ) List<String> nounList )
-    {
-        for ( String noun : nounList )
-        {
-            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
-            karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
+        if (out.length() == 0) {
+            return null;
         }
+        return out.toString();
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!rank @nick" )
@@ -106,15 +102,15 @@ public String revrank( Nick nick )
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!rank" )
-    public String selfRank( ChannelMessage message )
+    public String selfRank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
     {
-        return rank(message.getNick());
+        return rank(Nick.getUser(message));
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank" )
-    public String selfRevrank( ChannelMessage message )
+    public String selfRevrank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
     {
-        return revrank(message.getNick());
+        return revrank(Nick.getUser(message));
     }
 
     private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
index eb69772f..161dc981 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
@@ -1,27 +1,17 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import org.apache.camel.component.irc.IrcMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
-import javax.inject.Named;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class UserPing
 {
-
     @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
-    public String ping( ChannelMessage ircMessage )
+    public String ping( ChannelMessageEvent ircMessage )
     {
-        return ircMessage.getNick().getBaseNick() + ": pong";
+        return Nick.getUser(ircMessage).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
     }
-
-    // @Override
-    // public void configure() throws Exception {
-    // fromMainChannel()
-    // .pipeline()
-    // .filter(messageTextMatches(text -> text.equals("!ping")))
-    // .process(reply(ircMessage -> ircMessage.getUser().getNick() + ": pong"))
-    // .to(getMainChannel());
-    // }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..088a0e33
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.security.SecureRandom;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Random;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class RandomProvider {
+    final SecureRandom random = new SecureRandom();
+
+    public Random getRandom() {
+        return random;
+    }
+
+    public boolean getRandomBoolean() {
+        return random.nextBoolean();
+    }
+
+    public int getRandomInt(int min, int max) {
+        return getRandomInt(max - min) + min;
+    }
+
+    public int getRandomInt(int bound) {
+        return random.nextInt(bound);
+    }
+
+    public <T> T getRandomElement(List<T> list) {
+        return list.get(getRandomInt(list.size()));
+    }
+}

From ef098f1f5f8215d7e44ac4419b32675b3e9e9967 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 26 May 2021 21:28:37 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 03/79] Add weather service to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |   7 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   5 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    |   8 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |  31 +-
 .../{UserPing.java => UserPingService.java}   |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      | 330 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |  24 +-
 7 files changed, 381 insertions(+), 28 deletions(-)
 rename vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/{UserPing.java => UserPingService.java} (79%)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 3cfcd76f..98939349 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -107,7 +107,7 @@ private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
      */
     private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannelMessage) {
         channelSet.add(onChannelMessage.channel());
-        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(method.getName() + "$Handler", void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method), void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
         annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", Invoke.Asynchronously);
         ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(onChannelMessage.channel());
@@ -168,6 +168,11 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
     }
 
+    private String getSafeMethodSignature(Method method) {
+        return method.getName() + "$$" + Arrays.stream(method.getParameters()).map(parameter -> parameter.getType().getName().replace('.', '$'))
+                .collect(Collectors.joining("$$")) + "$$Handler";
+    }
+
     private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Parameter parameter, ResultHandle matcherResultHandle) {
         ResultHandle parameterNameResultHandle = bytecodeCreator.load(parameter.getName());
         ResultHandle matcherText = bytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "group", String.class, String.class),
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 64813406..67c6c7e3 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -77,6 +77,11 @@
       <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
       <scope>test</scope>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>rome</groupId>
+      <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
+      <version>1.0</version>
+    </dependency>
   </dependencies>
   <build>
     <plugins>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
index fe349a40..8121ef38 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ public void modNounKarma( String noun, Integer mod )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getNounKarma( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun ) ).map( Response::toLong );
     }
 
     /**
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ public Optional<Long> getNounKarma( String noun )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getNounRank( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun ) ).map( Response::toLong );
     }
 
     /**
@@ -65,8 +65,8 @@ public Optional<Long> getNounRank( String noun )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getNounRevRank( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong).map( revRank -> revRank
-            + 1 );
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet,
+                                                       noun ) ).map( Response::toLong ).map( revRank -> revRank + 1 );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index 1b242a7e..56186c8a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -67,23 +67,30 @@ public String getBottomThree()
     public String karmaIncOrDec( ChannelMessageEvent channelMessage )
     {
         StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( String noun : channelMessage.getMessage().split("\\s+") ) {
-            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf(noun);
-            if (noun.endsWith("++")) {
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), 1);
-            } else if (noun.endsWith("--")) {
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), -1);
-            } else if (noun.endsWith("+-")) {
+        for ( String noun : channelMessage.getMessage().split( "\\s+" ) )
+        {
+            Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
+            if ( noun.endsWith( "++" ) )
+            {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), 1 );
+            }
+            else if ( noun.endsWith( "--" ) )
+            {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
+            }
+            else if ( noun.endsWith( "+-" ) )
+            {
                 int karma = randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ? 1 : -1;
                 String reply = nick + " had their karma ";
                 reply += karma == 1 ? "increased" : "decreased";
                 reply += " by 1";
-                out.append(reply);
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(nick.getBaseNick(), karma);
+                out.append( reply );
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), karma );
             }
         }
 
-        if (out.length() == 0) {
+        if ( out.length() == 0 )
+        {
             return null;
         }
         return out.toString();
@@ -104,13 +111,13 @@ public String revrank( Nick nick )
     @OnChannelMessage( "!rank" )
     public String selfRank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
     {
-        return rank(Nick.getUser(message));
+        return rank( Nick.getUser( message ) );
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank" )
     public String selfRevrank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
     {
-        return revrank(Nick.getUser(message));
+        return revrank( Nick.getUser( message ) );
     }
 
     private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
similarity index 79%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
rename to vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
index 161dc981..0f37ca7c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPing.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
@@ -7,11 +7,11 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class UserPing
+public class UserPingService
 {
     @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
     public String ping( ChannelMessageEvent ircMessage )
     {
-        return Nick.getUser(ircMessage).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
+        return Nick.getUser( ircMessage ).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..90737dc8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,330 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
+import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.FeedException;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.SyndFeedInput;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.XmlReader;
+import org.jboss.logging.Logger;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.util.Date;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
+import java.util.LinkedList;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class WeatherService
+{
+    private static final Logger logger = Logger.getLogger( WeatherService.class );
+
+    final String DEFAULT_LOCATION = "ytz";
+
+    Map<String, URL> weatherFeedsByIataCode;
+
+    Map<String, WeatherData> weatherDataByIataCode;
+
+    final long weatherDataCacheTime = 1000 * 60 * 30;
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    public void setup()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        weatherDataByIataCode = new HashMap<>();
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode = new HashMap<>();
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxu", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-137_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-143_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ygk", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yeg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-50_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-52_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yul", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/qc-147_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yvr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-74_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-77_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ytz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-85_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-82_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ns-19_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nb-29_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nl-24_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/pe-5_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-100_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ywg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/mb-38_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-32_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxe", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-40_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ymm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-20_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxs", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-79_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyj", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-85_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylw", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-48_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yka", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-45_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yow", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-118_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxy", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/yt-16_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yzf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nt-24_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfb", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-21_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-22_e.xml" ) );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!forecast" )
+    public String forecastWeather()
+    {
+        return forecastWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!forecast @areaCode" )
+    public String forecastWeather( String areaCode )
+    {
+        String locationCode = areaCode.toLowerCase();
+        if ( weatherFeedsByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
+        {
+            WeatherData weather = getWeatherFor( locationCode );
+            if ( weather == null )
+            {
+                return "Error reading weather feed for " + locationCode;
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+                for ( Map.Entry<String, String> forecastDay : weather.getForecast().entrySet() )
+                {
+                    sb.append( "[" );
+                    sb.append( forecastDay.getKey() );
+                    sb.append( ": " );
+                    sb.append( forecastDay.getValue() );
+                    sb.append( "] " );
+                }
+                return sb.toString();
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No area code " + areaCode + "exists";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather" )
+    public String onLessWeather()
+    {
+        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "less" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather @areaCode" )
+    public String onLessWeather( String areaCode )
+    {
+        return currentWeather( areaCode, "less" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather" )
+    public String onMoreWeather()
+    {
+        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "more" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather @areaCode" )
+    public String onMoreWeather( String areaCode )
+    {
+        return currentWeather( areaCode, "more" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!weather" )
+    public String onWeather()
+    {
+        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!weather @areaCode" )
+    public String onWeather( String areaCode )
+    {
+        return currentWeather( areaCode, "" );
+    }
+
+    private String currentWeather( String areaCode, String modifier )
+    {
+        String locationCode = areaCode;
+        locationCode = locationCode.toLowerCase();
+
+        if ( weatherFeedsByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
+        {
+            WeatherData weather = getWeatherFor( locationCode );
+            if ( weather == null )
+            {
+                return "Error reading weather feed for " + locationCode;
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+                if ( !"less".equals( modifier ) )
+                {
+                    out.append( String.join( "\n", weather.getAlerts() ) ).append( '\n' );
+                }
+
+                LinkedHashMap<String, String> currentConditions = weather.getCurrentConditions();
+                if ( "".equals( modifier ) )
+                {
+
+                    String sb = currentConditions.get( "Condition" ) + ", Temperature: "
+                        + currentConditions.get( "Temperature" ) + ", Humidity: " + currentConditions.get( "Humidity" )
+                        + " - " + currentConditions.get( "Observed at" );
+                    out.append( sb );
+                }
+                else if ( "less".equals( modifier ) )
+                {
+                    // bot.sendPrivmsgAs( LESS_NICK, event.getChannel(),
+                    // "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
+                    out.append( "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
+                }
+                else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
+                {
+                    StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+                    for ( Map.Entry<String, String> condition : currentConditions.entrySet() )
+                    {
+                        sb.append( "[" );
+                        sb.append( condition.getKey() );
+                        sb.append( ": " );
+                        sb.append( condition.getValue() );
+                        sb.append( "] " );
+                    }
+                    out.append( sb );
+                }
+                return out.toString();
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No weather feed available for " + locationCode;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private WeatherData getWeatherFor( String locationCode )
+    {
+        if ( weatherDataByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
+        {
+            WeatherData weather = weatherDataByIataCode.get( locationCode );
+
+            long timeDiff = new Date().getTime() - weather.getCreationDate().getTime();
+            // Cache for at most half an hour
+            if ( timeDiff < weatherDataCacheTime )
+            {
+                return weather;
+            }
+        }
+
+        URL feedSource = weatherFeedsByIataCode.get( locationCode );
+        WeatherData weather = null;
+        try
+        {
+            weather = new WeatherData( feedSource );
+            weatherDataByIataCode.put( locationCode, weather );
+        }
+        catch ( IllegalArgumentException | IOException | FeedException e )
+        {
+            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
+            logger.error( "Error opening RSS feed" );
+        }
+        return weather;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Stores weather data from http://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/* rss feeds flexibly.
+     */
+    private static class WeatherData
+    {
+        private final Pattern alertIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_w[0-9]+:[0-9]{14}$" );
+
+        private final Pattern currentConditionsIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_cc:[0-9]{14}$" );
+
+        private final Pattern forecastIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_fc[0-9]:[0-9]{14}$" );
+
+        private final LinkedList<String> alerts;
+
+        private final LinkedHashMap<String, String> currentConditions;
+
+        private final LinkedHashMap<String, String> forecast;
+
+        private final Date creationTime;
+
+        WeatherData( URL feedSource )
+            throws IOException, IllegalArgumentException, FeedException
+        {
+            alerts = new LinkedList<>();
+            forecast = new LinkedHashMap<>();
+            currentConditions = new LinkedHashMap<>();
+            creationTime = new Date();
+
+            try ( XmlReader reader = new XmlReader( feedSource ) )
+            {
+                SyndFeedInput input = new SyndFeedInput();
+                SyndFeed feed = input.build( reader );
+
+                for ( Object rawEntry : feed.getEntries() )
+                {
+                    if ( rawEntry instanceof SyndEntry )
+                    {
+                        SyndEntry entry = (SyndEntry) rawEntry;
+
+                        if ( alertIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
+                        {
+                            String desc = entry.getDescription().getValue();
+                            if ( !desc.equals( "No watches or warnings in effect." ) )
+                            {
+                                alerts.add( desc );
+                            }
+                        }
+                        else if ( currentConditionsIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
+                        {
+                            String desc = entry.getDescription().getValue();
+                            desc = desc.replaceAll( "<[a-zA-Z/]+>", "" );
+                            desc = desc.replace( "&#176;", "°" );
+                            for ( String line : desc.split( "\n" ) )
+                            {
+                                int sepPos = line.indexOf( ':' );
+                                currentConditions.put( line.substring( 0, sepPos ),
+                                                       line.substring( sepPos + 1 ).trim() );
+                            }
+                        }
+                        else if ( forecastIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
+                        {
+                            String title = entry.getTitle();
+                            int sepPos = title.indexOf( ':' );
+                            forecast.put( title.substring( 0, sepPos ), title.substring( sepPos + 1 ).trim() );
+                        }
+                    }
+                }
+            }
+        }
+
+        LinkedList<String> getAlerts()
+        {
+            return alerts;
+        }
+
+        LinkedHashMap<String, String> getCurrentConditions()
+        {
+            return currentConditions;
+        }
+
+        LinkedHashMap<String, String> getForecast()
+        {
+            return forecast;
+        }
+
+        Date getCreationDate()
+        {
+            return creationTime;
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public String toString()
+        {
+            return "WeatherData [alerts=" + alerts + ", currentConditions=" + currentConditions + ", forecast="
+                + forecast + ", creationTime=" + creationTime + "]";
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
index 088a0e33..a18853ee 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -6,26 +6,32 @@
 import java.util.Random;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class RandomProvider {
+public class RandomProvider
+{
     final SecureRandom random = new SecureRandom();
 
-    public Random getRandom() {
+    public Random getRandom()
+    {
         return random;
     }
 
-    public boolean getRandomBoolean() {
+    public boolean getRandomBoolean()
+    {
         return random.nextBoolean();
     }
 
-    public int getRandomInt(int min, int max) {
-        return getRandomInt(max - min) + min;
+    public int getRandomInt( int min, int max )
+    {
+        return getRandomInt( max - min ) + min;
     }
 
-    public int getRandomInt(int bound) {
-        return random.nextInt(bound);
+    public int getRandomInt( int bound )
+    {
+        return random.nextInt( bound );
     }
 
-    public <T> T getRandomElement(List<T> list) {
-        return list.get(getRandomInt(list.size()));
+    public <T> T getRandomElement( List<T> list )
+    {
+        return list.get( getRandomInt( list.size() ) );
     }
 }

From 592d262104b0665099cd83e2c1d76910359ba4dc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 26 May 2021 22:24:19 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 04/79] Add list commands to the Quarkus implementation of
 VileBot

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |   6 +-
 .../vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java        |   4 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java   |   4 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java |   1 +
 .../vilebot/services/UserListService.java     | 137 ++++++++++++++++++
 5 files changed, 151 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 98939349..841fa813 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@
 import io.vertx.codegen.annotations.Nullable;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Invoke;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
@@ -144,6 +145,9 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
             Parameter parameter = method.getParameters()[i];
             if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessageEvent.class)) {
                 methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = channelMessageEventResultHandle;
+            } else if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
+                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
+                        processorBytecode.getThis());
             } else {
                 methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle);
             }
@@ -269,7 +273,7 @@ private String getListDelimiter(Parameter parameter) {
         if (parameter.isAnnotationPresent(Delimiter.class)) {
             return parameter.getAnnotation(Delimiter.class).value();
         } else {
-            return "\\w";
+            return "\\s";
         }
     }
     private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
index 7ab83764..a9ad3179 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
@@ -1,5 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
 
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
 public @interface Delimiter {
     String value();
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
index 39983126..7cf0c29a 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
@@ -1,5 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
 
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
 public @interface Regex {
     String value();
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
index 4aabf10e..5f2ab705 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@
 
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
 import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.jboss.logging.Logger;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1a62966d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,137 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.UserlistDB;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class UserListService
+{
+    final static String NOUN_REGEX = "\\S+?";
+
+    @Inject
+    UserlistDB userlistDB;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!lists" )
+    public String listsEnumerate( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        Set<String> lists = userlistDB.getLists();
+
+        if ( lists != null && lists.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+            sb.append( "Available lists: " );
+            for ( String list : lists )
+            {
+                sb.append( list );
+                sb.append( ", " );
+            }
+            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
+            return sb.toString();
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "There are no lists.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!list @listName" )
+    public void listQuery( ChannelMessageEvent event, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName )
+    {
+
+        Set<String> users = userlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
+        if ( users != null && users.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+            sb.append( "The list " );
+            sb.append( listName );
+            sb.append( " contains: " );
+
+            for ( String user : users )
+            {
+                sb.append( user );
+                sb.append( ", " );
+            }
+            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
+
+            event.getActor().sendMessage( sb.toString() );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            event.getActor().sendMessage( "The list " + listName + " does not exist or is empty." );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!listadd @listName @nicks" )
+    public String listAdd( @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) List<String> nicks )
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        userlistDB.addUsersTo( listName, nicks );
+        sb.append( "Added the following names to list " );
+        sb.append( listName );
+        sb.append( ": " );
+
+        for ( String nick : nicks )
+        {
+            sb.append( nick );
+            sb.append( ", " );
+        }
+        sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
+
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!listrem @listName @nicks" )
+    public String listRemove( @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) List<String> nicks )
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        userlistDB.removeUsersFrom( listName, nicks );
+        sb.append( "Removed the following names to list " );
+        sb.append( listName );
+        sb.append( ": " );
+
+        for ( String nick : nicks )
+        {
+            sb.append( nick );
+            sb.append( ", " );
+        }
+        sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
+
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "@listName: @msg" )
+    public String listExpansion( ChannelMessageEvent event, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, String msg )
+    {
+        String sender = event.getActor().getNick();
+        Set<String> users = userlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
+
+        if ( users != null && users.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+            for ( String user : users )
+            {
+                if ( !user.equals( sender ) )
+                {
+                    sb.append( user );
+                    sb.append( ", " );
+                }
+            }
+            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
+            sb.append( ": " );
+            sb.append( msg );
+
+            return sb.toString();
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+}

From 0f91f2282a041a4347567d7c6747386e21c2a500 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 26 May 2021 23:32:07 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 05/79] Add Karma Roll service to Quarkus VileBot

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |  28 ++-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java    | 168 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |   2 +-
 3 files changed, 191 insertions(+), 7 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 841fa813..4eb65624 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -7,7 +7,6 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.gizmo.*;
-import io.vertx.codegen.annotations.Nullable;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Invoke;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
@@ -185,7 +184,12 @@ private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator
         AssignableResultHandle returnValue = bytecodeCreator.createVariable(parameter.getType());
         BranchResult ifNullBranchResult = bytecodeCreator.ifNull(matcherText);
         bytecodeCreator = ifNullBranchResult.trueBranch();
-        bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.loadNull());
+        if (parameter.getParameterizedType() instanceof ParameterizedType && Optional.class.isAssignableFrom((Class<?>) ((ParameterizedType) parameter.getParameterizedType()).getRawType())) {
+            bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Optional.class, "empty", Optional.class)));
+        } else {
+            bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.loadNull());
+        }
+
         bytecodeCreator = ifNullBranchResult.falseBranch();
 
         if (parameter.getParameterizedType() instanceof Class) {
@@ -214,6 +218,16 @@ private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator
                 whileLoopBlock.assign(indexResultHandle, whileLoopBlock.increment(indexResultHandle));
 
                 bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, parsedValueListResultHandle);
+            } else if (Optional.class.isAssignableFrom((Class<?>) parameterizedType.getRawType())) {
+                BranchResult isEmptyBranchResult = bytecodeCreator.ifTrue(bytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "isEmpty", boolean.class),
+                        matcherText));
+                bytecodeCreator = isEmptyBranchResult.trueBranch();
+                bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Optional.class, "empty", Optional.class)));
+                bytecodeCreator = isEmptyBranchResult.falseBranch();
+                Class<?> optionalType = (Class<?>) parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0];
+                MethodDescriptor valueParser = getValueOfForType(optionalType);
+                bytecodeCreator.assign(returnValue, bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Optional.class, "of",
+                        Optional.class, Object.class), bytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(valueParser, matcherText)));
             }
         } else {
             throw new IllegalStateException("Illegal type (" + parameter.getType() + ") for parameter (" + parameter.getName() + ").");
@@ -222,9 +236,9 @@ private ResultHandle extractParameterFromMatcher(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator
     }
 
     private MethodDescriptor getValueOfForType(Class<?> type) {
-        if (type.isAssignableFrom(int.class)) {
+        if (type.isAssignableFrom(int.class) || type.isAssignableFrom(Integer.class)) {
             return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Integer.class, "parseInt", int.class, String.class);
-        } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(long.class)) {
+        } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(long.class) || type.isAssignableFrom(Long.class)) {
             return MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Long.class, "parseLong", long.class, String.class);
         } else if (type.isAssignableFrom(String.class)) {
             // pointless, but makes generated code more readable
@@ -262,7 +276,7 @@ private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String patternString) {
 
                 patternRegexBuilder.append("(?<" + variableName + ">" +
                         getRegexForType(methodParameter, methodParameter.getParameterizedType())
-                        + ")" + ((methodParameter.isAnnotationPresent(Nullable.class))? "?" : ""));
+                        + ")");
             }
         }
         patternRegexBuilder.append("$");
@@ -306,7 +320,9 @@ private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
                 String innerTypeRegex = "(?:" + getRegexForType(parameter, parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0]) + ")";
                 String collectionDelimiterRegex = getListDelimiter(parameter);
                 return innerTypeRegex + "(?:(?:" + collectionDelimiterRegex +")" + innerTypeRegex + ")*";
-            } else {
+            } else if (Optional.class.isAssignableFrom(rawType)) {
+                return "(?:" + getRegexForType(parameter, parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0]) + ")?";
+            }else {
                 throw new IllegalArgumentException("Illegal type (" + type + ") on parameter (" + parameter + ")");
             }
         } else {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a7741d4b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,168 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class KarmaRollService
+{
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    Nick gameInitatorNick;
+
+    Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
+
+    final int UPPER_WAGER = 10;
+
+    int wager;
+
+    // ? before wager to make the space optional (for the "!roll" variant)
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!roll ?@bet" )
+    public String roll( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<Integer> bet )
+    {
+        gameLock.lock();
+        try
+        {
+            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( event );
+            if ( isGameStarted() )
+            {
+                if ( bet.isPresent() )
+                {
+                    return "A game is already active; started by " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " for " + wager
+                        + " karma. Use !roll to accept.";
+                }
+                if ( Nick.getUser( event ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
+                {
+                    return "You can't accept your own wager.";
+                }
+                return getGameResult( gameInitatorNick, Nick.getUser( event ) );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                int actualBet = bet.orElse(UPPER_WAGER);
+                Long senderKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( sender.getBaseNick() ).orElse( 0L );
+
+                if ( !validWager( actualBet, senderKarma ) )
+                {
+                    return actualBet + " isn't a valid wager. Must be greater than 0. If your wager is larger than "
+                        + UPPER_WAGER + " you must have at least as much karma as your wager.";
+                }
+                gameInitatorNick = sender;
+                wager = actualBet;
+                return sender.getBaseNick() + " has rolled with " + wager + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?";
+            }
+        }
+        finally
+        {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!rollcancel" )
+    public String rollCancel( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        gameLock.lock();
+        try
+        {
+            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( event );
+            if ( !gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick().equals( sender.getBaseNick() ) )
+            {
+                return "Only " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " may cancel this game.";
+            }
+            endGame();
+            return "Roll game cancelled.";
+        }
+        finally
+        {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * A valid wager is one that meets the following standards: 1. Is greater than 0. 2. If it is greater than 10, then
+     * the user's karma is equal to or greater than the wager. The reasoning behind this is to have some base amount of
+     * karma that user's can bet with, but also provide a way of betting large amounts of karma. To avoid destroying the
+     * karma economy users cannot bet more than their current amount of karma.
+     *
+     * @param wager the amount wagered
+     * @param senderKarma the wagerer's karma
+     */
+    private boolean validWager( int wager, long senderKarma )
+    {
+        return !( wager > UPPER_WAGER ) && ( wager > 0 ) || ( wager > UPPER_WAGER ) && ( senderKarma >= wager );
+    }
+
+    private String getGameResult( Nick user1, Nick user2 )
+    {
+        Nick winner = null;
+        Nick loser = null;
+
+        int user1Roll = randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 );
+        int user2Roll = randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 );
+
+        if ( user1Roll > user2Roll )
+        {
+            winner = user1;
+            loser = user2;
+        }
+        else if ( user1Roll < user2Roll )
+        {
+            winner = user2;
+            loser = user1;
+        }
+
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        sb.append( "Results: " );
+        sb.append( user1.getBaseNick() );
+        sb.append( " rolled " );
+        sb.append( user1Roll );
+        sb.append( ", and " );
+        sb.append( user2.getBaseNick() );
+        sb.append( " rolled " );
+        sb.append( user2Roll );
+        sb.append( ". " );
+
+        if ( winner != null && loser != null )
+        {
+            sb.append( winner );
+            sb.append( " takes " );
+            sb.append( wager );
+            sb.append( " from " );
+            sb.append( loser );
+            sb.append( "!!!" );
+
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( winner.getBaseNick(), wager );
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( loser.getBaseNick(), -1 * wager );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            sb.append( "A tie!" );
+        }
+        sb.append( '\n' );
+        sb.append( "Play again?" );
+        endGame();
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+
+    private boolean isGameStarted()
+    {
+        return gameInitatorNick != null;
+    }
+
+    private void endGame() {
+        gameInitatorNick = null;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
index a18853ee..131cff93 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ public boolean getRandomBoolean()
 
     public int getRandomInt( int min, int max )
     {
-        return getRandomInt( max - min ) + min;
+        return getRandomInt( max - min + 1 ) + min;
     }
 
     public int getRandomInt( int bound )

From bebae87c93faf371aaa3a4614b387c2e7be5e6e1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 29 May 2021 17:31:32 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 06/79] Add TTC service to Quarkus VileBot1

---
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  5 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java | 63 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 68 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 67c6c7e3..1c145580 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -82,6 +82,11 @@
       <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
       <version>1.0</version>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.jsoup</groupId>
+      <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
+      <version>1.8.1</version>
+    </dependency>
   </dependencies>
   <build>
     <plugins>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b032549e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,63 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
+import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
+import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
+import org.jsoup.select.Elements;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.net.URLConnection;
+import java.util.Scanner;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TtcService {
+
+    public static final String TTC_URL = "https://www.ttc.ca/Service_Advisories/all_service_alerts.jsp";
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!ttc")
+    public String printAlerts()
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return parseContent(getContent()).stream()
+                    .map(Element::text)
+                    .collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            return "Unable to retrieve alerts.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private Elements parseContent( String content )
+    {
+        Elements alerts = new Elements();
+        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( content );
+        Elements alertDivs = doc.select( "div[class=alert-content]" );
+        for ( Element element : alertDivs )
+        {
+            if ( !element.text().toLowerCase().contains( "elevator" ) )
+            {
+                alerts.addAll( element.select( "p[class=veh-replace]" ) );
+            }
+        }
+        return alerts;
+    }
+
+    private String getContent()
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        String content;
+        URLConnection connection;
+        connection = new URL( TTC_URL ).openConnection();
+        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
+        Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
+        scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
+        content = scanner.next();
+        return content;
+    }
+}

From afa66ca621b1b435a485f2dbdeb33181f11ba098 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 29 May 2021 17:49:42 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 07/79] Add URL title announcer service to the Quarkus version
 of VileBot

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |  7 ++-
 .../services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java    | 47 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 53 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 4eb65624..95509b35 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -252,8 +252,11 @@ private MethodDescriptor getValueOfForType(Class<?> type) {
         }
     }
 
-    private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String patternString) {
+    private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String parameterPatternString) {
         String splitRegex = "@([a-zA-Z0-9$_]+)";
+        // add a space to the beginning to guarantee first token is not
+        // a parameter
+        String patternString = (" " + parameterPatternString);
         String[] patternStringParts = patternString.split(splitRegex);
         String remaining = patternString;
 
@@ -280,6 +283,8 @@ private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String patternString) {
             }
         }
         patternRegexBuilder.append("$");
+        // remove the additional space we added
+        patternRegexBuilder.delete(1,2);
         return patternRegexBuilder.toString();
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c8f75e26
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
+import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class UrlTitleAnnouncerService {
+    private static final String URL_PATTERN = "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:abstrusegoose|xkcd)\\.com|youtube\\.(?:com|ca)|youtu\\.be)[^ ]*)";
+
+    private static final Pattern titlePattern = Pattern.compile( "<title>(.*)</title>" );
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("@url")
+    public String getUrlTitle( @Regex(URL_PATTERN) String url )
+    {
+        String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( url);
+        return "'" + title + "'";
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Accesses the source of a HTML page and looks for a title element
+     *
+     * @param url http URI String
+     * @return String of text between the first <title> tag group on the page, empty if error.
+     */
+    private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( String url )
+    {
+        String title = "";
+
+        try
+        {
+            Document doc = Jsoup.connect( url ).get();
+            title = doc.title();
+        }
+        catch ( IOException x )
+        {
+            System.err.format( "scrapeURLHTMLTitle BufferedReader error: %s%n", x );
+        }
+
+        return title;
+    }
+}

From d687219bb2283c794d31a8ac3db4df4a8c13d167 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 29 May 2021 18:18:37 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 08/79] Allow getting event user with method parameter

---
 .../vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java        | 8 +++++++-
 .../runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java | 6 +++++-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java  | 9 +++++----
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java   | 6 +++---
 4 files changed, 20 insertions(+), 9 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 95509b35..cb2ed13d 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -10,8 +10,11 @@
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Invoke;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Actor;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -147,7 +150,10 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
             } else if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
                 methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
                         processorBytecode.getThis());
-            } else {
+            } else if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
+                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
+                        channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+            }else {
                 methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle);
             }
         }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
index f4511db5..35cb0379 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
@@ -29,7 +29,11 @@ public String getFullNick() {
     }
 
     public static Nick getUser(ActorEvent<User> event) {
-        return new Nick(event.getActor().getNick());
+        return getUser(event.getActor());
+    }
+
+    public static Nick getUser(User user) {
+        return new Nick(user.getNick());
     }
 
     public static Nick valueOf(String nick) {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
index a7741d4b..f642b8ea 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -31,12 +32,12 @@ public class KarmaRollService
 
     // ? before wager to make the space optional (for the "!roll" variant)
     @OnChannelMessage( "!roll ?@bet" )
-    public String roll( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<Integer> bet )
+    public String roll( User user, Optional<Integer> bet )
     {
         gameLock.lock();
         try
         {
-            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( event );
+            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( user );
             if ( isGameStarted() )
             {
                 if ( bet.isPresent() )
@@ -44,11 +45,11 @@ public String roll( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<Integer> bet )
                     return "A game is already active; started by " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " for " + wager
                         + " karma. Use !roll to accept.";
                 }
-                if ( Nick.getUser( event ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
+                if ( Nick.getUser( user ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
                 {
                     return "You can't accept your own wager.";
                 }
-                return getGameResult( gameInitatorNick, Nick.getUser( event ) );
+                return getGameResult( gameInitatorNick, Nick.getUser( user ) );
             }
             else
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
index 0f37ca7c..45756558 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 
@@ -10,8 +10,8 @@
 public class UserPingService
 {
     @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
-    public String ping( ChannelMessageEvent ircMessage )
+    public String ping( User user )
     {
-        return Nick.getUser( ircMessage ).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
+        return Nick.getUser( user ).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
     }
 }

From 9c168f737b7db11b77e196ee4ab37470cd7562a2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 29 May 2021 19:31:00 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 09/79] Add tests for UserPing and Karma services

---
 .../main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java  |   6 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  23 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java    |  13 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |  33 ++-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java |  12 +-
 .../services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java    |  12 +-
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingService.java     |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java    | 217 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java |  24 ++
 9 files changed, 305 insertions(+), 37 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
index 35cb0379..30cacfea 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
@@ -28,11 +28,11 @@ public String getFullNick() {
         return nick;
     }
 
-    public static Nick getUser(ActorEvent<User> event) {
-        return getUser(event.getActor());
+    public static Nick getNick(ActorEvent<User> event) {
+        return getNick(event.getActor());
     }
 
-    public static Nick getUser(User user) {
+    public static Nick getNick(User user) {
         return new Nick(user.getNick());
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 1c145580..caa54215 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -71,12 +71,6 @@
       <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
       <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
     </dependency>
-
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
-      <scope>test</scope>
-    </dependency>
     <dependency>
       <groupId>rome</groupId>
       <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
@@ -87,6 +81,23 @@
       <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
       <version>1.8.1</version>
     </dependency>
+
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.assertj</groupId>
+      <artifactId>assertj-core</artifactId>
+      <version>3.19.0</version>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
   </dependencies>
   <build>
     <plugins>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
index f642b8ea..e8eee45a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
@@ -37,7 +37,7 @@ public String roll( User user, Optional<Integer> bet )
         gameLock.lock();
         try
         {
-            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( user );
+            Nick sender = Nick.getNick( user );
             if ( isGameStarted() )
             {
                 if ( bet.isPresent() )
@@ -45,15 +45,15 @@ public String roll( User user, Optional<Integer> bet )
                     return "A game is already active; started by " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " for " + wager
                         + " karma. Use !roll to accept.";
                 }
-                if ( Nick.getUser( user ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
+                if ( Nick.getNick( user ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
                 {
                     return "You can't accept your own wager.";
                 }
-                return getGameResult( gameInitatorNick, Nick.getUser( user ) );
+                return getGameResult( gameInitatorNick, Nick.getNick( user ) );
             }
             else
             {
-                int actualBet = bet.orElse(UPPER_WAGER);
+                int actualBet = bet.orElse( UPPER_WAGER );
                 Long senderKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( sender.getBaseNick() ).orElse( 0L );
 
                 if ( !validWager( actualBet, senderKarma ) )
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ public String rollCancel( ChannelMessageEvent event )
         gameLock.lock();
         try
         {
-            Nick sender = Nick.getUser( event );
+            Nick sender = Nick.getNick( event );
             if ( !gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick().equals( sender.getBaseNick() ) )
             {
                 return "Only " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " may cancel this game.";
@@ -163,7 +163,8 @@ private boolean isGameStarted()
         return gameInitatorNick != null;
     }
 
-    private void endGame() {
+    private void endGame()
+    {
         gameInitatorNick = null;
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index 56186c8a..ff329009 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
@@ -63,13 +63,21 @@ public String getBottomThree()
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( ".*" )
-    public String karmaIncOrDec( ChannelMessageEvent channelMessage )
+    @OnChannelMessage( "@channelMessage" )
+    public String karmaIncOrDec( User user, String channelMessage )
     {
+        Nick userNick = Nick.getNick( user );
         StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( String noun : channelMessage.getMessage().split( "\\s+" ) )
+        boolean insult = false;
+        for ( String noun : channelMessage.split( "\\s+" ) )
         {
             Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
+            if ( userNick.getBaseNick().equals( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+            {
+                insult = true;
+                continue;
+            }
+
             if ( noun.endsWith( "++" ) )
             {
                 karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), 1 );
@@ -83,16 +91,23 @@ else if ( noun.endsWith( "+-" ) )
                 int karma = randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ? 1 : -1;
                 String reply = nick + " had their karma ";
                 reply += karma == 1 ? "increased" : "decreased";
-                reply += " by 1";
+                reply += " by 1\n";
                 out.append( reply );
                 karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), karma );
             }
         }
 
+        if ( insult )
+        {
+            out.append( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now.\n" );
+        }
+
         if ( out.length() == 0 )
         {
             return null;
         }
+        // Remove last newline
+        out.deleteCharAt( out.length() - 1 );
         return out.toString();
     }
 
@@ -109,15 +124,15 @@ public String revrank( Nick nick )
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!rank" )
-    public String selfRank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
+    public String selfRank( User user )
     {
-        return rank( Nick.getUser( message ) );
+        return rank( Nick.getNick( user ) );
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank" )
-    public String selfRevrank( ChannelMessageEvent message )
+    public String selfRevrank( User user )
     {
-        return revrank( Nick.getUser( message ) );
+        return revrank( Nick.getNick( user ) );
     }
 
     private String getReplyWithRankAndKarma( String noun )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
index b032549e..b7b8a8ea 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,5 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
@@ -14,18 +13,17 @@
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class TtcService {
+public class TtcService
+{
 
     public static final String TTC_URL = "https://www.ttc.ca/Service_Advisories/all_service_alerts.jsp";
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!ttc")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!ttc" )
     public String printAlerts()
     {
         try
         {
-            return parseContent(getContent()).stream()
-                    .map(Element::text)
-                    .collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
+            return parseContent( getContent() ).stream().map( Element::text ).collect( Collectors.joining( "\n" ) );
         }
         catch ( Exception e )
         {
@@ -49,7 +47,7 @@ private Elements parseContent( String content )
     }
 
     private String getContent()
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         String content;
         URLConnection connection;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
index c8f75e26..73a8c088 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
@@ -10,15 +10,17 @@
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class UrlTitleAnnouncerService {
-    private static final String URL_PATTERN = "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:abstrusegoose|xkcd)\\.com|youtube\\.(?:com|ca)|youtu\\.be)[^ ]*)";
+public class UrlTitleAnnouncerService
+{
+    private static final String URL_PATTERN =
+        "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:abstrusegoose|xkcd)\\.com|youtube\\.(?:com|ca)|youtu\\.be)[^ ]*)";
 
     private static final Pattern titlePattern = Pattern.compile( "<title>(.*)</title>" );
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("@url")
-    public String getUrlTitle( @Regex(URL_PATTERN) String url )
+    @OnChannelMessage( "@url" )
+    public String getUrlTitle( @Regex( URL_PATTERN ) String url )
     {
-        String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( url);
+        String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( url );
         return "'" + title + "'";
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
index 45756558..db58363f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
@@ -12,6 +12,6 @@ public class UserPingService
     @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
     public String ping( User user )
     {
-        return Nick.getUser( user ).getBaseNick() + ": pong";
+        return Nick.getNick( user ).getFullNick() + ": pong";
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..2b016704
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,217 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import java.util.LinkedHashSet;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.reset;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class KarmaServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaService karmaService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTotal()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getTotalKarma() ).thenReturn( 2L );
+        assertThat( karmaService.total() ).isEqualTo( "2" );
+        when( karmaDB.getTotalKarma() ).thenReturn( -3L );
+        assertThat( karmaService.total() ).isEqualTo( "-3" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopThree()
+    {
+        LinkedHashSet<String> topThreeNouns = new LinkedHashSet<>();
+        topThreeNouns.add( "user1" );
+        topThreeNouns.add( "alice" );
+        topThreeNouns.add( "bob" );
+        when( karmaDB.getRankNouns( 0L, 2L ) ).thenReturn( topThreeNouns );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 0L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( -5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.getTopThree() ).isEqualTo( "1resu is ranked at #0 with 5 points of karma.\n"
+            + "ecila is ranked at #1 with 2 points of karma.\n" + "bob is ranked at #2 with -5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testBottomThree()
+    {
+        LinkedHashSet<String> bottomThreeNouns = new LinkedHashSet<>();
+        bottomThreeNouns.add( "user1" );
+        bottomThreeNouns.add( "alice" );
+        bottomThreeNouns.add( "bob" );
+        when( karmaDB.getRevRankNouns( 0L, 2L ) ).thenReturn( bottomThreeNouns );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 0L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( -5L ) );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( -2L ) );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.getBottomThree() ).isEqualTo( "1resu is ranked at (reverse) #0 with -5 points of karma.\n"
+            + "ecila is ranked at (reverse) #1 with -2 points of karma.\n"
+            + "bob is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRank()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.rank( Nick.valueOf( "user1" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+        assertThat( karmaService.rank( Nick.valueOf( "user1|lunch" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRevRank()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.revrank( Nick.valueOf( "user1" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+        assertThat( karmaService.revrank( Nick.valueOf( "user1|lunch" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSelfRank()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.selfRank( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1|lunch" );
+        assertThat( karmaService.selfRank( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSelfRevRank()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.selfRevrank( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1|lunch" );
+        assertThat( karmaService.selfRevrank( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUserPlusPlus()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        String out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2++" );
+        assertThat( out ).isNull();
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", 1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user1++" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2++ some text user3++ user2++" );
+        assertThat( out ).isNull();
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 2 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", 1 );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user3", 1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUserMinusMinus()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        String out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2--" );
+        assertThat( out ).isNull();
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", -1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user1--" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2-- some text user3-- user2--" );
+        assertThat( out ).isNull();
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 2 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", -1 );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user3", -1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUserPlusMinus()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( false );
+        String out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2+-" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "user2 had their karma decreased by 1" );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", -1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( true );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2+-" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "user2 had their karma increased by 1" );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", 1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user1+-" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( true ).thenReturn( false ).thenReturn( false );
+        out = karmaService.karmaIncOrDec( user, "user2+- some text user3+- user2+-" );
+        assertThat( out ).isEqualTo( "user2 had their karma increased by 1\n" + "user3 had their karma decreased by 1\n"
+            + "user2 had their karma decreased by 1" );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", 1 );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user2", -1 );
+        verify( karmaDB, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).modNounKarma( "user3", -1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..aace7714
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.*;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+public class UserPingServiceTest
+{
+    @Test
+    public void testPingUser()
+    {
+        UserPingService userPingService = new UserPingService();
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user" );
+        assertThat( userPingService.ping( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user: pong" );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "user|lunch" );
+        assertThat( userPingService.ping( user ) ).isEqualTo( "user|lunch: pong" );
+    }
+}

From 8a86afb7fb2227c944df29e58968b1d412a00cc5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 30 May 2021 20:20:28 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 10/79] Add tests for WeatherService in vilebot-quarkus

---
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  |  86 ++++++++++
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    | 109 ++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml     | 158 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml     | 158 ++++++++++++++++++
 5 files changed, 512 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
index 90737dc8..d323aba5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
@@ -160,7 +160,7 @@ private String currentWeather( String areaCode, String modifier )
             else
             {
                 StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
-                if ( !"less".equals( modifier ) )
+                if ( !"less".equals( modifier ) && !weather.getAlerts().isEmpty() )
                 {
                     out.append( String.join( "\n", weather.getAlerts() ) ).append( '\n' );
                 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..bf24a21c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+public class WeatherServiceTest {
+    private static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+    private final static String YYZ = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml";
+    private final static String YGK = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml";
+    private WeatherService weatherService;
+
+    @BeforeAll
+    public static void beforeAll() {
+        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
+    }
+
+    @BeforeEach
+    public void setup() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.reset();
+        weatherService = new WeatherService();
+        weatherService.setup();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultForecast() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.forecastWeather()).isEqualTo("[Sunday night: Clear. Low 6.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Mainly cloudy. Low 13.] [Tuesday: Sunny. High 24.] [Tuesday night: Cloudy periods. Low 12.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 14. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 22. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] ");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLocationForecast() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.forecastWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("[Sunday night: Partly cloudy. Low plus 5.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Increasing cloudiness. Low 12.] [Tuesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 20.] [Tuesday night: Clear. Low 11.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 21.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 13. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 19. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] ");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onWeather()).isEqualTo("Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLocationWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultLessWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather()).isEqualTo("IT'S SUNNY");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLocationLessWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultMoreWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onMoreWeather()).isEqualTo("[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] ");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLocationMoreWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
+        assertThat(weatherService.onMoreWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] ");
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..540e9081
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -0,0 +1,109 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.net.URLConnection;
+import java.net.URLStreamHandler;
+import java.net.URLStreamHandlerFactory;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+/**
+ * {@link URLStreamHandler} that allows us to control the {@link URLConnection URLConnections} that are returned
+ * by {@link URL URLs} in the code under test.
+ *
+ * Based on https://claritysoftware.co.uk/mocking-javas-url-with-mockito/
+ */
+public class TestUrlStreamHandler extends URLStreamHandler {
+
+    private Map<URL, URLConnection> urlToConnectionMap = new HashMap<>();
+
+    /**
+     * Should be called in the @BeforeAll of a test class,
+     * replaces the URLStreamHandlerFactory with a mock
+     * that returns an instance of TestUrl
+     * @return An instance of TestUrlStreamHandler to be used in tests
+     */
+    public static TestUrlStreamHandler setup() {
+        // Allows for mocking URL connections
+        URLStreamHandlerFactory urlStreamHandlerFactory = mock(URLStreamHandlerFactory.class);
+        URL.setURLStreamHandlerFactory(urlStreamHandlerFactory);
+
+        TestUrlStreamHandler out = new TestUrlStreamHandler();
+        when(urlStreamHandlerFactory.createURLStreamHandler(any())).thenReturn(out);
+        return out;
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    protected URLConnection openConnection(URL url) throws IOException {
+        if (urlToConnectionMap.containsKey(url)) {
+            return urlToConnectionMap.get(url);
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("An attempted access was made on url (" + url + ") but no mocked connection was supplied. Maybe add a connection using mockConnection(url, data)?");
+        }
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Clears the connection map; should be done in @BeforeEach or @AfterEach
+     * (unless the same connections are reused)
+     */
+    public void reset() {
+        urlToConnectionMap.clear();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Return urlConnection when url connection is open. The urlConnection
+     * should be mocked. Ex:
+     * {@code
+     * URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
+     * InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream("Hello".getBytes());
+     * when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(connectionInputStream);
+     * }
+     * @param url The URL to set the connection of
+     * @param urlConnection The mocked url connection
+     * @return this for chaining
+     */
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, URLConnection urlConnection) {
+        urlToConnectionMap.put(url, urlConnection);
+        return this;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Return a mocked URLConnection whose input stream contains text when url connection is open.
+     * @param url The URL to set the connection of
+     * @param text The text the url connection input stream should match
+     * @return this for chaining
+     */
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, String text) {
+        URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
+        InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream(text.getBytes());
+        try {
+            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(connectionInputStream);
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+        }
+        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Return a mocked URLConnection with the supplied input stream when url connection is open.
+     * @param url The URL to set the connection of
+     * @param resource The input stream the url connection should use
+     * @return this for chaining
+     */
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, InputStream resource) {
+        URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
+        try {
+            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(resource);
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+        }
+        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+    }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e3037979
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,158 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+ <feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xml:lang="en-ca">
+ 
+<!--
+This is a data file that is meant to be read by RSS readers or aggregators.
+See https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/weather-general-tools-resources/ways-to-access-forecasts.html to learn more about our RSS service.
+-->
+
+ <title>Kingston - Weather - Environment Canada</title>
+ <link rel="related" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html" type="text/html"/>
+ <link rel="self" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml" type="application/atom+xml"/>
+ <link rel="alternate" hreflang="fr-ca" href="https://www.meteo.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_f.xml" type="application/atom+xml"/>
+ <author>
+ <name>Environment Canada</name>
+ <uri>https://www.weather.gc.ca</uri>
+ </author>
+ <updated>2021-05-31T00:02:09Z</updated>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:20210531000209</id>
+ <logo>https://www.weather.gc.ca/template/gcweb/v5.0.1/assets/wmms-alt.png</logo>
+ <icon>https://www.weather.gc.ca/template/gcweb/v5.0.1/assets/favicon.ico</icon>
+ <rights>Copyright 2021, Environment Canada</rights>
+ <entry>
+ <title>No watches or warnings in effect, Kingston</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/warnings/index_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-11T13:45:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-11T13:45:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Warnings and Watches"/>
+ <summary type="html">No watches or warnings in effect.</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_w1:20210511134500</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Current Conditions: Partly Cloudy, 16.7&#xB0;C</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T23:00:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T23:00:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Current Conditions"/>
+ <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<b>Observed at:</b> Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021 <br/>
+<b>Condition:</b> Partly Cloudy <br/>
+<b>Temperature:</b> 16.7&deg;C <br/>
+<b>Pressure / Tendency:</b> 102.3 kPa falling<br/>
+<b>Visibility:</b> 24.1 km<br/>
+<b>Humidity:</b> 46 %<br/>
+<b>Dewpoint:</b> 5.1&deg;C <br/>
+<b>Wind:</b> SSE 13 km/h<br/>
+<b>Air Quality Health Index:</b> 2 <br/>
+]]></summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_cc:20210530230000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Sunday night: Partly cloudy. Low plus 5.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Partly cloudy. Low plus 5. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc1:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Mainly sunny. High 23. UV index 8 or very high. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc2:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Monday night: Increasing cloudiness. Low 12.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A few clouds. Increasing cloudiness near midnight. Low 12. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc3:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Tuesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 20.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 20. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc4:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Tuesday night: Clear. Low 11.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Clear. Low 11. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc5:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 21.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 21. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc6:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 13. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. Low 13. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc7:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Thursday: Chance of showers. High 19. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. High 19. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc8:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. Low 15. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc9:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Friday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 22. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc10:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Friday night: Cloudy periods. Low 15.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy periods. Low 15. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc11:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Saturday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 23.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-69_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 23. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-69_fc12:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ </feed>
+
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..fcc4e680
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,158 @@
+<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
+ <feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xml:lang="en-ca">
+ 
+<!--
+This is a data file that is meant to be read by RSS readers or aggregators.
+See https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/weather-general-tools-resources/ways-to-access-forecasts.html to learn more about our RSS service.
+-->
+
+ <title>Toronto Island - Weather - Environment Canada</title>
+ <link rel="related" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html" type="text/html"/>
+ <link rel="self" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml" type="application/atom+xml"/>
+ <link rel="alternate" hreflang="fr-ca" href="https://www.meteo.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_f.xml" type="application/atom+xml"/>
+ <author>
+ <name>Environment Canada</name>
+ <uri>https://www.weather.gc.ca</uri>
+ </author>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T23:07:55Z</updated>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:20210530230755</id>
+ <logo>https://www.weather.gc.ca/template/gcweb/v5.0.1/assets/wmms-alt.png</logo>
+ <icon>https://www.weather.gc.ca/template/gcweb/v5.0.1/assets/favicon.ico</icon>
+ <rights>Copyright 2021, Environment Canada</rights>
+ <entry>
+ <title>No watches or warnings in effect, Toronto Island</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/warnings/index_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-22T04:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-22T04:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Warnings and Watches"/>
+ <summary type="html">No watches or warnings in effect.</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_w1:20210522043000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Current Conditions: Sunny, 14.5&#xB0;C</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T23:00:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T23:00:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Current Conditions"/>
+ <summary type="html"><![CDATA[<b>Observed at:</b> Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021 <br/>
+<b>Condition:</b> Sunny <br/>
+<b>Temperature:</b> 14.5&deg;C <br/>
+<b>Pressure:</b> 102.3 kPa <br/>
+<b>Visibility:</b> 16.1 km<br/>
+<b>Humidity:</b> 46 %<br/>
+<b>Dewpoint:</b> 3.1&deg;C <br/>
+<b>Wind:</b> SSW 4 km/h<br/>
+<b>Air Quality Health Index:</b> N/A <br/>
+]]></summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_cc:20210530230000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Sunday night: Clear. Low 6.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Clear. Low 6. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc1:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Mainly sunny. High 23. UV index 8 or very high. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc2:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Monday night: Mainly cloudy. Low 13.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Increasing cloudiness early in the evening. Low 13. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc3:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Tuesday: Sunny. High 24.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Sunny. High 24. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc4:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Tuesday night: Cloudy periods. Low 12.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy periods. Low 12. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc5:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 22. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc6:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 14. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. Low 14. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc7:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Thursday: Chance of showers. High 22. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. High 22. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc8:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy with 60 percent chance of showers. Low 15. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc9:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Friday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 26.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 26. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc10:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Friday night: Cloudy periods. Low 16.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">Cloudy periods. Low 16. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc11:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ <entry>
+ <title>Saturday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 28.</title>
+ <link type="text/html" href="https://www.weather.gc.ca/city/pages/on-128_metric_e.html"/>
+ <updated>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</updated>
+ <published>2021-05-30T19:30:00Z</published>
+ <category term="Weather Forecasts"/>
+ <summary type="html">A mix of sun and cloud. High 28. Forecast issued 3:30 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021</summary>
+ <id>tag:weather.gc.ca,2013-04-16:on-128_fc12:20210530193000</id>
+ </entry>
+ </feed>
+

From 78cdefa9da5d3508563c42423bc68ff0db569263 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 30 May 2021 21:01:16 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 11/79] Add tests for UserListService in vilebot-quarkus

---
 .../vilebot/services/UserListService.java     | 16 ++--
 .../vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java | 96 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 104 insertions(+), 8 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
index 1a62966d..c49d1007 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.UserlistDB;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ public class UserListService
     UserlistDB userlistDB;
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!lists" )
-    public String listsEnumerate( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    public String listsEnumerate()
     {
         Set<String> lists = userlistDB.getLists();
 
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ public String listsEnumerate( ChannelMessageEvent event )
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!list @listName" )
-    public void listQuery( ChannelMessageEvent event, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName )
+    public void listQuery( User requester, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName )
     {
 
         Set<String> users = userlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
@@ -60,11 +60,11 @@ public void listQuery( ChannelMessageEvent event, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String li
             }
             sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
 
-            event.getActor().sendMessage( sb.toString() );
+            requester.sendMessage( sb.toString() );
         }
         else
         {
-            event.getActor().sendMessage( "The list " + listName + " does not exist or is empty." );
+            requester.sendMessage( "The list " + listName + " does not exist or is empty." );
         }
     }
 
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ public String listRemove( @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, @Regex( NOUN_REG
     {
         StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
         userlistDB.removeUsersFrom( listName, nicks );
-        sb.append( "Removed the following names to list " );
+        sb.append( "Removed the following names from list " );
         sb.append( listName );
         sb.append( ": " );
 
@@ -107,9 +107,9 @@ public String listRemove( @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, @Regex( NOUN_REG
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "@listName: @msg" )
-    public String listExpansion( ChannelMessageEvent event, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, String msg )
+    public String listExpansion( User requester, @Regex( NOUN_REGEX ) String listName, String msg )
     {
-        String sender = event.getActor().getNick();
+        String sender = requester.getNick();
         Set<String> users = userlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
 
         if ( users != null && users.size() > 0 )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6d15d1d1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,96 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.UserlistDB;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.LinkedHashSet;
+import java.util.List;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.reset;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class UserListServiceTest {
+
+    @Inject
+    UserListService userListService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    UserlistDB userlistDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testListsEnumerate() {
+        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
+        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("Available lists: a, b, c");
+        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(null);
+        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("There are no lists.");
+        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
+        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("There are no lists.");
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testListQuery() {
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
+        User user = mock(User.class);
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
+        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList contains: a, b, c");
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
+
+        reset(user);
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(null);
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
+        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList does not exist or is empty.");
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
+
+        reset(user);
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
+        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList does not exist or is empty.");
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testListAdd() {
+        List<String> nicks = List.of("a", "b", "c");
+        assertThat(userListService.listAdd("myList", nicks))
+            .isEqualTo("Added the following names to list myList: a, b, c");
+        verify(userlistDB).addUsersTo("myList", nicks);
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions(userlistDB);
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testListRemove() {
+        List<String> nicks = List.of("a", "b", "c");
+        assertThat(userListService.listRemove("myList", nicks))
+                .isEqualTo("Removed the following names from list myList: a, b, c");
+        verify(userlistDB).removeUsersFrom("myList", nicks);
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions(userlistDB);
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testListExpansion() {
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
+        User user = mock(User.class);
+        when(user.getNick()).thenReturn("a");
+        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "myList", "hey myList!"))
+                .isEqualTo("b, c: hey myList!");
+
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("emptyList")).thenReturn(null);
+        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!"))
+                .isNull();
+
+        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("emptyList")).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
+        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!"))
+                .isNull();
+    }
+}

From 6f1c89f55e770b74f3a7cfe35ca2af64526c256d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 30 May 2021 21:31:21 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 12/79] Add tests for UserListService in vilebot-quarkus

---
 .../UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java         | 27 +++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    | 18 +++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/example-webpage.html     | 10 +++++++
 3 files changed, 55 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b69282be
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+public class UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest {
+    static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
+    @BeforeAll
+    public static void beforeAll() {
+        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetUrlTitle() throws IOException {
+        UrlTitleAnnouncerService urlTitleAnnouncerService = new UrlTitleAnnouncerService();
+        urlStreamHandler.mockHttpConnection(new URL("https://example.com/"),
+                UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("example-webpage.html"));
+        assertThat(urlTitleAnnouncerService.getUrlTitle("https://example.com/")).isEqualTo("'Example Webpage'");
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index 540e9081..f2343379 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@
 import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
 import java.net.URL;
 import java.net.URLConnection;
 import java.net.URLStreamHandler;
@@ -106,4 +107,21 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, InputStream resource) {
         }
         return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
     }
+
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection(URL url, InputStream resource) {
+        return mockHttpConnection("GET", url, resource, 200);
+    }
+
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection(String method, URL url, InputStream resource, int status) {
+        HttpURLConnection urlConnection = mock(HttpURLConnection.class);
+        try {
+            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(resource);
+            when(urlConnection.getResponseCode()).thenReturn(status);
+            when(urlConnection.getRequestMethod()).thenReturn(method);
+            when(urlConnection.getURL()).thenReturn(url);
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+        }
+        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+    }
 }
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b17179bb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html>
+  <head>
+    <title>Example Webpage</title>
+  </head>
+  <body>
+    Empty HTML File
+  </body>
+</html>
+

From 97085aa5e42429449e11adc1529b723c9680fa3f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 30 May 2021 23:30:08 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 13/79] Add tests for TtcService in vilebot-quarkus

---
 .../vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java      |  31 +
 .../vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html  | 621 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 652 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d4357171
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+public class TtcServiceTest {
+
+    static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
+    @BeforeAll
+    public static void setup() {
+        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testPrintAlerts() throws MalformedURLException {
+        TtcService ttcService = new TtcService();
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(TtcService.TTC_URL),
+                TtcServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ttc-example-alerts.html"));
+        assertThat(ttcService.printAlerts()).isEqualTo(
+                "Line 1: There is no subway service between Sheppard-Yonge and Bloor-Yonge stations due to ATC signal system testing. Shuttle buses are running.\n"
+                + "Line 1: Next Mon. through Thurs. nightly starting at midnight, customers will board northbound trains on southbound platforms at Pioneer Village and Highway 407 stations during single-track operation. Expect slightly longer wait times.\n"
+                + "Line 1: Mon. through Thurs., subway service between Finch and Eglinton stations will end nightly at 11pm for tunnel remediation. Shuttle buses will run.");
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ffb7addb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html
@@ -0,0 +1,621 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
+
+
+<html lang="en" xml:lang="en" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> 
+<head>
+
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"/>
+<meta name="robots" content="noodp"> 
+
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Language" content="en-ca"/>
+<meta property="og:image" content="http://ttc.ca/images/fixedImages/ttc-main-logo.gif" />
+
+<!--MetaRedirect=false-->
+
+
+<meta name="description" content="The Toronto Transit Commission is the quick, convenient and safe way to get around Toronto. The subway system is linked with buses and streetcars to get you around Toronto on one fare, provided it's a one-way trip with no stopovers. You can travel on the TTC every day."/>
+
+<meta name="keywords" content="Toronto, transit, bus, streetcar, subway, RT, Metropass"/>
+
+
+
+<meta name="google-translate-customization" content="508e5ec0f119adfe-1735ad33e20ad652-g5651fc41286cc1ca-a"></meta>
+
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="screen" href="/css/main.css?v=1"/>
+
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="screen" href="../css/content.css"/>
+
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" media="print" href="/css/print.css"/>
+<link  rel="stylesheet" id="cssSize" type="text/css" media="screen" href="/css/widths.css" />
+ 
+        <link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/lightbox/lightbox.css" media="screen"/>
+	
+
+
+
+<link rel="icon" href="/favicon.ico" type="image/x-icon" /> 
+<script type="text/javascript" src="/js/widths.js"></script>
+<script type="text/javascript" src="/js/homestretchMaster.js"></script>
+
+ 
+		<script src="/js/lightbox/modernizr.custom.js"></script>
+		<script src="/js/lightbox/jquery-1.10.2.min.js"></script>
+		<script src="/js/lightbox/lightbox-2.6.min.js"></script>
+	
+
+<!-- Google Tag Manager -->
+<script>(function(w,d,s,l,i){w[l]=w[l]||[];w[l].push({'gtm.start':
+new Date().getTime(),event:'gtm.js'});var f=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],
+j=d.createElement(s),dl=l!='dataLayer'?'&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src=
+'https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtm.js?id='+i+dl;f.parentNode.insertBefore(j,f);
+})(window,document,'script','dataLayer','GTM-TV3WS73');</script>
+<!-- End Google Tag Manager -->
+
+
+
+
+<script type='text/javascript'>
+
+$imageroot='/images/fixedImages/';
+
+</script>
+
+
+
+<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js">
+    </script>
+
+<script>
+!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');
+</script>
+
+<script>
+$(window).load(function(){
+(function(d, s, id) {
+  var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];
+  if (d.getElementById(id)) return;
+  js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;
+  js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1";
+  fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);
+}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));
+});
+</script>
+
+
+	
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<script type="text/javascript" src="/js/general.js"></script>
+<script type="text/javascript">
+window.onload=function(){
+var s = document.title;
+if(s.indexOf("TTC") != 0)
+{
+   var ttc = "TTC ";
+   document.title = ttc.concat(s);
+}
+};
+</script>
+<title>All Service Alerts</title>
+
+<style type="text/css">
+body{
+overflow-x: hidden !important;
+
+}
+
+</style>
+</head>
+
+<body>
+<!-- Google Tag Manager (noscript) -->
+<noscript><iframe src="https://www.googletagmanager.com/ns.html?id=GTM-TV3WS73"
+height="0" width="0" style="display:none;visibility:hidden"></iframe></noscript>
+<!-- End Google Tag Manager (noscript) -->
+
+
+
+
+
+<div id="ttc-main-container">
+	<div id="ttc-main-header">
+
+
+<div class="ttc-jump">
+ 
+<a href="#top" class="ttc-jump-link">Skip to main content of this page.</a>
+	  
+</div>
+
+		<div id="ttc-main-logo" title="Toronto Transit Commission"><a href="/index.jsp"><img src="/images/ttc-main-logo.gif" alt="TTC Logo" /><span class="access"><br />Toronto Transit Commission</span></a></div>
+		<ul id="utility-nav">
+ 
+			<li><span class="first"><a href="/index.jsp">Home</a></span></li>
+			<li><a href="/Trip_planner/index.jsp">Trip Planner</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/Customer_Service/index.jsp">Customer Service</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/News/index.jsp">News</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/WheelTrans/index.jsp">Wheel-Trans</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/TTC_Accessibility/index.jsp">Accessibility</a></li>
+	  
+
+		</ul>
+		
+		<ul id="ttc-main-nav">
+		
+ 
+			<li><a href="/Routes/index.jsp" class="first">Schedules &amp; Maps</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/Fares_and_passes/index.jsp">Fares &amp; Passes</a></li>
+			<li><a href="/Riding_the_TTC/index.jsp">Riding the TTC</a></li>
+			<li><span class="access">The current section is </span><a class="active" href="/Service_Advisories/index.jsp">Service Advisories</a></li>
+	  
+		</ul>
+	</div>
+<a name="top"></a>
+	<div id="ttc-grid-content">
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+		<div id="ttc-main-content" class="content">
+
+<!-- no section matches the select key: ''-->
+
+<!-- no section matches the select key: ''-->
+
+
+			<a name="skip"></a>
+			
+			<h1>All Service Alerts</h1>
+			
+
+
+			<h2>Unplanned Service Disruptions</h2>
+
+
+			<div class="main-content">	
+
+
+
+
+<div class="content-message">
+<h3  >Taking GO and UP Express during significant TTC subway disruptions (GO protocol)</h3>
+<p>We work with GO Transit and UP Express to get you to where you need to go when there is a significant service disruption on the subway. During these events a GO protocol may be put into place. If this happens, you can board a GO or UP Express train at designated stations without having to tap your PRESTO card a second time. You only need to pay one fare in order to board the train. If you haven&rsquo;t already tapped your PRESTO card at a TTC station, you will need to tap onto a PRESTO card reader at the GO or UP Express station before you board a GO or UP Express train. Remember to tap your PRESTO card after you get off the GO or UP train. If the GO protocol is activated, information about which GO or UP Express stations are being used will be shared on our @ttchelps and @ttcnotices Twitter accounts and through the media. </p></div><script src="service_alerts_redirect.js" type="text/javascript">
+</script> <div class="advisory-wrap">
+<h3 class="alert-header">6 Service Alerts</h3>
+<div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Line 1: There is no subway service between Sheppard-Yonge and Bloor-Yonge stations due to ATC signal system testing. Shuttle buses are running. </p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated 9:45 AM</p></div><div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Line 1: Next Mon. through Thurs. nightly starting at midnight, customers will board northbound trains on southbound platforms at Pioneer Village and Highway 407 stations during single-track operation. Expect slightly longer wait times.</p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated May 29, 7:25 PM</p></div><div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Line 1: Mon. through Thurs., subway service between Finch and Eglinton stations will end nightly at 11pm for tunnel remediation. Shuttle buses will run.</p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated May 29, 7:24 PM</p></div><div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Queen's Quay (Union): Elevator out of service between Bay Street west side entrance and streetcar platform.</p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated May 27, 10:11 AM</p></div><div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Bloor-Yonge: Elevator out of service between Line 1 northbound platform and Line 2 platform.</p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated May 25, 3:15 PM</p></div><div class="alert-content"><p class="veh-replace">Dundas: Elevator out of service between Yonge-Dundas Square entrance, Line 1 northbound platform, and underpass.</p><p class="alert-updated">Last updated May 13, 7:08 AM</p></div></div>
+
+<p>Please note that in the event of a subway service delay, shuttle buses will be deployed to assist passengers. However, shuttle buses cannot carry the same passenger volume as a subway.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ 
+        <script src="/js/lightbox/lightboxTest.js"></script>
+	
+
+				<div class="clear"></div>
+
+            
+ 		        </div>
+
+
+
+
+<div style="margin-top:50px;float:left">
+			<script language="javascript">
+				function emailCurrentPage(){
+					window.location.href="mailto:?subject=Check%20Out%20"+escape(document.title)+"&body=Hello,%20%0A%0A%0AVisit:%20"+escape(window.location.href)+"%0A%0A%0AFind%20out%20more%20about%20the%20TTC%20at%20http://www.ttc.ca%0A";
+				}
+			</script>
+		    <ul >
+			<li style="float:left;list-style:none;padding-right:25px;padding-top:5px"><div class="fb-share-button" data-href="all_service_alerts.jsp"></li>
+			<li style="float:left;list-style:none;"><a href="https://twitter.com/share" class="twitter-share-button">Tweet</a></li>
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From 3543df7b0bc92bc0d1c0b94a1d728174d9d88697 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 31 May 2021 01:08:45 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 14/79] Add KarmaRollService test, TestUrlStreamHandler uses a
 Jar UrlStreamHandler impl so mvn clean install works, formatting

---
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   7 +
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java    |  14 +-
 .../services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java        | 154 +++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java      |  21 +-
 .../UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java         |  16 +-
 .../vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java | 107 +++++-----
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  |  93 +++++----
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    | 186 ++++++++++++------
 8 files changed, 435 insertions(+), 163 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index caa54215..e67fff8e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -98,6 +98,13 @@
       <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
       <scope>test</scope>
     </dependency>
+    <!-- So Quarkus can load JAR files -->
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.xwiki.commons</groupId>
+      <artifactId>xwiki-commons-legacy-classloader-protocol-jar</artifactId>
+      <version>13.4</version>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
   </dependencies>
   <build>
     <plugins>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
index e8eee45a..65da29fc 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
@@ -16,6 +16,8 @@
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class KarmaRollService
 {
+    public final static int UPPER_WAGER = 10;
+
     @Inject
     KarmaDB karmaDB;
 
@@ -26,8 +28,6 @@ public class KarmaRollService
 
     Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
 
-    final int UPPER_WAGER = 10;
-
     int wager;
 
     // ? before wager to make the space optional (for the "!roll" variant)
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ public String roll( User user, Optional<Integer> bet )
                     return "A game is already active; started by " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " for " + wager
                         + " karma. Use !roll to accept.";
                 }
-                if ( Nick.getNick( user ).equals( gameInitatorNick ) )
+                if ( Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick().equals( gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() ) )
                 {
                     return "You can't accept your own wager.";
                 }
@@ -73,12 +73,16 @@ public String roll( User user, Optional<Integer> bet )
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!rollcancel" )
-    public String rollCancel( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    public String rollCancel( User user )
     {
         gameLock.lock();
         try
         {
-            Nick sender = Nick.getNick( event );
+            if ( gameInitatorNick == null )
+            {
+                return "No roll game is active.";
+            }
+            Nick sender = Nick.getNick( user );
             if ( !gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick().equals( sender.getBaseNick() ) )
             {
                 return "Only " + gameInitatorNick.getBaseNick() + " may cancel this game.";
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..dd7400a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,154 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.reset;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class KarmaRollServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaRollService karmaRollService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRoll()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with "
+            + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "You can't accept your own wager." );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob|lunch" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( 20 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "A game is already active; started by alice for "
+                                               + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " karma. Use !roll to accept." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 ) ).thenReturn( 4 ).thenReturn( 2 );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "Results: alice rolled 4, and bob rolled 2. alice takes "
+                                               + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " from bob!!!\nPlay again?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with "
+            + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob|lunch" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 ) ).thenReturn( 3 ).thenReturn( 5 );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "Results: alice rolled 3, and bob rolled 5. bob takes "
+                                               + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " from alice!!!\nPlay again?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", -KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRollWithWager()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 50L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( 50 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with 50 karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "You can't accept your own wager." );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob|lunch" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( 20 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "A game is already active; started by alice for 50 karma. Use !roll to accept." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 ) ).thenReturn( 4 ).thenReturn( 2 );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "Results: alice rolled 4, and bob rolled 2. alice takes 50 from bob!!!\nPlay again?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", 50 );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -50 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( -1L ) );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( 1 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with 1 karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob|lunch" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 1, 6 ) ).thenReturn( 3 ).thenReturn( 5 );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "Results: alice rolled 3, and bob rolled 5. bob takes 1 from alice!!!\nPlay again?" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", -1 );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 1 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( -1L ) );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( 100 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "100 isn't a valid wager. Must be greater than 0. If your wager is larger than "
+                                               + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER
+                                               + " you must have at least as much karma as your wager." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        reset( karmaDB );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 100L ) );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user,
+                                           Optional.of( -1 ) ) ).isEqualTo( "-1 isn't a valid wager. Must be greater than 0. If your wager is larger than "
+                                               + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER
+                                               + " you must have at least as much karma as your wager." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRollCancel()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|wfh" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.rollCancel( user ) ).isEqualTo( "No roll game is active." );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with "
+            + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.rollCancel( user ) ).isEqualTo( "Only alice may cancel this game." );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice|lunch" );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.rollCancel( user ) ).isEqualTo( "Roll game cancelled." );
+        assertThat( karmaRollService.roll( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rolled with "
+            + KarmaRollService.UPPER_WAGER + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
+        // roll cancel to clear state for other tests
+        karmaRollService.rollCancel( user );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
index d4357171..9b6ec43d 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
@@ -9,23 +9,26 @@
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
 
-public class TtcServiceTest {
+public class TtcServiceTest
+{
 
     static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
     @BeforeAll
-    public static void setup() {
+    public static void setup()
+    {
         urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testPrintAlerts() throws MalformedURLException {
+    public void testPrintAlerts()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
         TtcService ttcService = new TtcService();
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(TtcService.TTC_URL),
-                TtcServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ttc-example-alerts.html"));
-        assertThat(ttcService.printAlerts()).isEqualTo(
-                "Line 1: There is no subway service between Sheppard-Yonge and Bloor-Yonge stations due to ATC signal system testing. Shuttle buses are running.\n"
-                + "Line 1: Next Mon. through Thurs. nightly starting at midnight, customers will board northbound trains on southbound platforms at Pioneer Village and Highway 407 stations during single-track operation. Expect slightly longer wait times.\n"
-                + "Line 1: Mon. through Thurs., subway service between Finch and Eglinton stations will end nightly at 11pm for tunnel remediation. Shuttle buses will run.");
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( TtcService.TTC_URL ),
+                                         TtcServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ttc-example-alerts.html" ) );
+        assertThat( ttcService.printAlerts() ).isEqualTo( "Line 1: There is no subway service between Sheppard-Yonge and Bloor-Yonge stations due to ATC signal system testing. Shuttle buses are running.\n"
+            + "Line 1: Next Mon. through Thurs. nightly starting at midnight, customers will board northbound trains on southbound platforms at Pioneer Village and Highway 407 stations during single-track operation. Expect slightly longer wait times.\n"
+            + "Line 1: Mon. through Thurs., subway service between Finch and Eglinton stations will end nightly at 11pm for tunnel remediation. Shuttle buses will run." );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
index b69282be..2bcd5eac 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
@@ -9,19 +9,23 @@
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
 
-public class UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest {
+public class UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest
+{
     static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
     @BeforeAll
-    public static void beforeAll() {
+    public static void beforeAll()
+    {
         urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testGetUrlTitle() throws IOException {
+    public void testGetUrlTitle()
+        throws IOException
+    {
         UrlTitleAnnouncerService urlTitleAnnouncerService = new UrlTitleAnnouncerService();
-        urlStreamHandler.mockHttpConnection(new URL("https://example.com/"),
-                UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("example-webpage.html"));
-        assertThat(urlTitleAnnouncerService.getUrlTitle("https://example.com/")).isEqualTo("'Example Webpage'");
+        urlStreamHandler.mockHttpConnection( new URL( "https://example.com/" ),
+                                             UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ) );
+        assertThat( urlTitleAnnouncerService.getUrlTitle( "https://example.com/" ) ).isEqualTo( "'Example Webpage'" );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
index 6d15d1d1..66d87eb3 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
@@ -20,7 +20,8 @@
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
 
 @QuarkusTest
-public class UserListServiceTest {
+public class UserListServiceTest
+{
 
     @Inject
     UserListService userListService;
@@ -29,68 +30,70 @@ public class UserListServiceTest {
     UserlistDB userlistDB;
 
     @Test
-    public void testListsEnumerate() {
-        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
-        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("Available lists: a, b, c");
-        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(null);
-        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("There are no lists.");
-        when(userlistDB.getLists()).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
-        assertThat(userListService.listsEnumerate()).isEqualTo("There are no lists.");
+    public void testListsEnumerate()
+    {
+        when( userlistDB.getLists() ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) );
+        assertThat( userListService.listsEnumerate() ).isEqualTo( "Available lists: a, b, c" );
+        when( userlistDB.getLists() ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( userListService.listsEnumerate() ).isEqualTo( "There are no lists." );
+        when( userlistDB.getLists() ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+        assertThat( userListService.listsEnumerate() ).isEqualTo( "There are no lists." );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testListQuery() {
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
-        User user = mock(User.class);
-        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
-        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList contains: a, b, c");
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
-
-        reset(user);
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(null);
-        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
-        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList does not exist or is empty.");
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
-
-        reset(user);
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
-        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList");
-        verify(user).sendMessage("The list myList does not exist or is empty.");
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions(user);
+    public void testListQuery()
+    {
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "myList" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "The list myList contains: a, b, c" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( user );
+
+        reset( user );
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "myList" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "The list myList does not exist or is empty." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( user );
+
+        reset( user );
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "myList" ) ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+        userListService.listQuery( user, "myList" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "The list myList does not exist or is empty." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( user );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testListAdd() {
-        List<String> nicks = List.of("a", "b", "c");
-        assertThat(userListService.listAdd("myList", nicks))
-            .isEqualTo("Added the following names to list myList: a, b, c");
-        verify(userlistDB).addUsersTo("myList", nicks);
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions(userlistDB);
+    public void testListAdd()
+    {
+        List<String> nicks = List.of( "a", "b", "c" );
+        assertThat( userListService.listAdd( "myList",
+                                             nicks ) ).isEqualTo( "Added the following names to list myList: a, b, c" );
+        verify( userlistDB ).addUsersTo( "myList", nicks );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( userlistDB );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testListRemove() {
-        List<String> nicks = List.of("a", "b", "c");
-        assertThat(userListService.listRemove("myList", nicks))
-                .isEqualTo("Removed the following names from list myList: a, b, c");
-        verify(userlistDB).removeUsersFrom("myList", nicks);
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions(userlistDB);
+    public void testListRemove()
+    {
+        List<String> nicks = List.of( "a", "b", "c" );
+        assertThat( userListService.listRemove( "myList",
+                                                nicks ) ).isEqualTo( "Removed the following names from list myList: a, b, c" );
+        verify( userlistDB ).removeUsersFrom( "myList", nicks );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( userlistDB );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testListExpansion() {
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("myList")).thenReturn(new LinkedHashSet<>(List.of("a", "b", "c")));
-        User user = mock(User.class);
-        when(user.getNick()).thenReturn("a");
-        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "myList", "hey myList!"))
-                .isEqualTo("b, c: hey myList!");
-
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("emptyList")).thenReturn(null);
-        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!"))
-                .isNull();
-
-        when(userlistDB.getUsersIn("emptyList")).thenReturn(Collections.emptySet());
-        assertThat(userListService.listExpansion(user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!"))
-                .isNull();
+    public void testListExpansion()
+    {
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "myList" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( userListService.listExpansion( user, "myList", "hey myList!" ) ).isEqualTo( "b, c: hey myList!" );
+
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "emptyList" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( userListService.listExpansion( user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!" ) ).isNull();
+
+        when( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "emptyList" ) ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+        assertThat( userListService.listExpansion( user, "emptyList", "hey emptyList!" ) ).isNull();
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
index bf24a21c..229fe31e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
@@ -10,77 +10,100 @@
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
 
-public class WeatherServiceTest {
+public class WeatherServiceTest
+{
     private static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
     private final static String YYZ = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml";
+
     private final static String YGK = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml";
+
     private WeatherService weatherService;
 
     @BeforeAll
-    public static void beforeAll() {
+    public static void beforeAll()
+    {
         urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
     }
 
     @BeforeEach
-    public void setup() throws MalformedURLException {
+    public void setup()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
         urlStreamHandler.reset();
         weatherService = new WeatherService();
         weatherService.setup();
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testDefaultForecast() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.forecastWeather()).isEqualTo("[Sunday night: Clear. Low 6.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Mainly cloudy. Low 13.] [Tuesday: Sunny. High 24.] [Tuesday night: Cloudy periods. Low 12.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 14. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 22. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] ");
+    public void testDefaultForecast()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.forecastWeather() ).isEqualTo( "[Sunday night: Clear. Low 6.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Mainly cloudy. Low 13.] [Tuesday: Sunny. High 24.] [Tuesday night: Cloudy periods. Low 12.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 14. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 22. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] " );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testLocationForecast() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.forecastWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("[Sunday night: Partly cloudy. Low plus 5.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Increasing cloudiness. Low 12.] [Tuesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 20.] [Tuesday night: Clear. Low 11.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 21.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 13. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 19. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] ");
+    public void testLocationForecast()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.forecastWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "[Sunday night: Partly cloudy. Low plus 5.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Increasing cloudiness. Low 12.] [Tuesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 20.] [Tuesday night: Clear. Low 11.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 21.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 13. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 19. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] " );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testDefaultWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onWeather()).isEqualTo("Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021");
+    public void testDefaultWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather() ).isEqualTo( "Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testLocationWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021");
+    public void testLocationWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testDefaultLessWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather()).isEqualTo("IT'S SUNNY");
+    public void testDefaultLessWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather() ).isEqualTo( "IT'S SUNNY" );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testLocationLessWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY");
+    public void testLocationLessWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testDefaultMoreWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YYZ),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ytz-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onMoreWeather()).isEqualTo("[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] ");
+    public void testDefaultMoreWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather() ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] " );
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testLocationMoreWeather() throws MalformedURLException {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection(new URL(YGK),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream("ygk-weather-data.xml"));
-        assertThat(weatherService.onMoreWeather("ygk")).isEqualTo("[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] ");
+    public void testLocationMoreWeather()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
+                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] " );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index f2343379..5826327c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -1,5 +1,10 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
+import edu.emory.mathcs.util.classloader.jar.JarProxy;
+import edu.emory.mathcs.util.classloader.jar.JarURLConnection;
+import org.mockito.invocation.InvocationOnMock;
+import org.mockito.stubbing.Answer;
+
 import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.io.InputStream;
@@ -16,112 +21,181 @@
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
 
 /**
- * {@link URLStreamHandler} that allows us to control the {@link URLConnection URLConnections} that are returned
- * by {@link URL URLs} in the code under test.
- *
- * Based on https://claritysoftware.co.uk/mocking-javas-url-with-mockito/
+ * {@link URLStreamHandler} that allows us to control the {@link URLConnection URLConnections} that are returned by
+ * {@link URL URLs} in the code under test. Based on https://claritysoftware.co.uk/mocking-javas-url-with-mockito/
  */
-public class TestUrlStreamHandler extends URLStreamHandler {
+public class TestUrlStreamHandler
+    extends URLStreamHandler
+{
 
     private Map<URL, URLConnection> urlToConnectionMap = new HashMap<>();
 
+    private static TestUrlStreamHandler handlerInstance;
+
     /**
-     * Should be called in the @BeforeAll of a test class,
-     * replaces the URLStreamHandlerFactory with a mock
-     * that returns an instance of TestUrl
+     * Should be called in the @BeforeAll of a test class, replaces the URLStreamHandlerFactory with a mock that returns
+     * an instance of TestUrl
+     *
      * @return An instance of TestUrlStreamHandler to be used in tests
      */
-    public static TestUrlStreamHandler setup() {
-        // Allows for mocking URL connections
-        URLStreamHandlerFactory urlStreamHandlerFactory = mock(URLStreamHandlerFactory.class);
-        URL.setURLStreamHandlerFactory(urlStreamHandlerFactory);
-
-        TestUrlStreamHandler out = new TestUrlStreamHandler();
-        when(urlStreamHandlerFactory.createURLStreamHandler(any())).thenReturn(out);
-        return out;
+    public static TestUrlStreamHandler setup()
+    {
+        if ( handlerInstance != null )
+        {
+            return handlerInstance;
+        }
+        try
+        {
+            TestUrlStreamHandler out = new TestUrlStreamHandler();
+            // URL provide no way to get the default factory :(
+            // (And reflection on internal classes will be disabled by default)
+            URLStreamHandler jarHandler = getJarURLStreamHandler();
+            URLStreamHandlerFactory urlStreamHandlerFactory = mock( URLStreamHandlerFactory.class );
+            URL.setURLStreamHandlerFactory( urlStreamHandlerFactory );
+
+            when( urlStreamHandlerFactory.createURLStreamHandler( any() ) ).thenAnswer( new Answer<URLStreamHandler>()
+            {
+
+                @Override
+                public URLStreamHandler answer( InvocationOnMock invocationOnMock )
+                    throws Throwable
+                {
+                    // Quarkus need to open Jars during tests, so we can't use a mock
+                    // for jars
+                    if ( invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 ).toString().startsWith( "jar" ) )
+                    {
+                        return jarHandler;
+                    }
+                    else
+                    {
+                        return handlerInstance;
+                    }
+                }
+            } );
+            handlerInstance = out;
+            return out;
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Error when mocking URL Factory: " + e );
+        }
     }
 
     @Override
-    protected URLConnection openConnection(URL url) throws IOException {
-        if (urlToConnectionMap.containsKey(url)) {
-            return urlToConnectionMap.get(url);
-        } else {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("An attempted access was made on url (" + url + ") but no mocked connection was supplied. Maybe add a connection using mockConnection(url, data)?");
+    protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
+        throws IOException
+    {
+        if ( urlToConnectionMap.containsKey( url ) )
+        {
+            return urlToConnectionMap.get( url );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "An attempted access was made on url (" + url
+                + ") but no mocked connection was supplied. Maybe add a connection using mockConnection(url, data)?" );
         }
     }
 
     /**
-     * Clears the connection map; should be done in @BeforeEach or @AfterEach
-     * (unless the same connections are reused)
+     * Clears the connection map; should be done in @BeforeEach or @AfterEach (unless the same connections are reused)
      */
-    public void reset() {
+    public void reset()
+    {
         urlToConnectionMap.clear();
     }
 
     /**
-     * Return urlConnection when url connection is open. The urlConnection
-     * should be mocked. Ex:
-     * {@code
+     * Return urlConnection when url connection is open. The urlConnection should be mocked. Ex: {@code
      * URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
      * InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream("Hello".getBytes());
      * when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(connectionInputStream);
      * }
+     *
      * @param url The URL to set the connection of
      * @param urlConnection The mocked url connection
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, URLConnection urlConnection) {
-        urlToConnectionMap.put(url, urlConnection);
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, URLConnection urlConnection )
+    {
+        urlToConnectionMap.put( url, urlConnection );
         return this;
     }
 
     /**
      * Return a mocked URLConnection whose input stream contains text when url connection is open.
+     *
      * @param url The URL to set the connection of
      * @param text The text the url connection input stream should match
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, String text) {
-        URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
-        InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream(text.getBytes());
-        try {
-            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(connectionInputStream);
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, String text )
+    {
+        URLConnection urlConnection = mock( URLConnection.class );
+        InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream( text.getBytes() );
+        try
+        {
+            when( urlConnection.getInputStream() ).thenReturn( connectionInputStream );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking" );
         }
-        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+        return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
     }
 
     /**
      * Return a mocked URLConnection with the supplied input stream when url connection is open.
+     *
      * @param url The URL to set the connection of
      * @param resource The input stream the url connection should use
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection(URL url, InputStream resource) {
-        URLConnection urlConnection = mock(URLConnection.class);
-        try {
-            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(resource);
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, InputStream resource )
+    {
+        URLConnection urlConnection = mock( URLConnection.class );
+        try
+        {
+            when( urlConnection.getInputStream() ).thenReturn( resource );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking" );
         }
-        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+        return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
     }
 
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection(URL url, InputStream resource) {
-        return mockHttpConnection("GET", url, resource, 200);
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( URL url, InputStream resource )
+    {
+        return mockHttpConnection( "GET", url, resource, 200 );
     }
 
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection(String method, URL url, InputStream resource, int status) {
-        HttpURLConnection urlConnection = mock(HttpURLConnection.class);
-        try {
-            when(urlConnection.getInputStream()).thenReturn(resource);
-            when(urlConnection.getResponseCode()).thenReturn(status);
-            when(urlConnection.getRequestMethod()).thenReturn(method);
-            when(urlConnection.getURL()).thenReturn(url);
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking");
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, URL url, InputStream resource, int status )
+    {
+        HttpURLConnection urlConnection = mock( HttpURLConnection.class );
+        try
+        {
+            when( urlConnection.getInputStream() ).thenReturn( resource );
+            when( urlConnection.getResponseCode() ).thenReturn( status );
+            when( urlConnection.getRequestMethod() ).thenReturn( method );
+            when( urlConnection.getURL() ).thenReturn( url );
         }
-        return mockConnection(url, urlConnection);
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Impossible state: exception thrown when mocking" );
+        }
+        return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
+    }
+
+    private static URLStreamHandler getJarURLStreamHandler()
+    {
+        return new URLStreamHandler()
+        {
+            @Override
+            protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
+                throws IOException
+            {
+                return new JarURLConnection( url, new JarProxy() );
+            }
+        };
     }
 }
\ No newline at end of file

From 62bd3ea44d3c1144f5ad903615ef47d82b8dbdd5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2021 18:43:33 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 15/79] Add tests to quarkus-irc-bot

---
 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml            |  52 +++++++
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java  |  89 ++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java   |  48 ++++++
 .../vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java    | 137 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java  |  14 ++
 .../vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java   |  17 +--
 .../vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java       |   7 +
 .../vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java   |  27 ++++
 8 files changed, 377 insertions(+), 14 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
index 4b86f721..c4d47e8e 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
@@ -33,6 +33,33 @@
             <version>${project.version}</version>
         </dependency>
 
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-internal</artifactId>
+            <scope>test</scope>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.assertj</groupId>
+            <artifactId>assertj-core</artifactId>
+            <scope>test</scope>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.jboss.logging</groupId>
+            <artifactId>jboss-logging</artifactId>
+            <version>3.4.2.Final</version>
+            <scope>test</scope>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
+            <scope>test</scope>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>org.mockito</groupId>
+            <artifactId>mockito-core</artifactId>
+            <scope>test</scope>
+        </dependency>
+
     </dependencies>
 
     <build>
@@ -50,6 +77,31 @@
                     </annotationProcessorPaths>
                 </configuration>
             </plugin>
+
+
+            <plugin>
+                <artifactId>maven-surefire-plugin</artifactId>
+                <version>3.0.0-M5</version>
+                <executions>
+                    <execution>
+                        <id>default-test</id>
+                        <phase>test</phase>
+                        <goals>
+                            <goal>test</goal>
+                        </goals>
+                        <configuration>
+                            <systemPropertyVariables>
+                                <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+                            </systemPropertyVariables>
+                        </configuration>
+                    </execution>
+                </executions>
+                <configuration>
+                    <systemPropertyVariables>
+                        <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+                    </systemPropertyVariables>
+                </configuration>
+            </plugin>
         </plugins>
     </build>
 
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e655de0a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ExampleService {
+
+    static ExampleService INSTANCE;
+    ExampleService mock;
+
+    public ExampleService() {
+        INSTANCE = this;
+    }
+
+    public void setMock(ExampleService mock) {
+        this.mock = mock;
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!noargs")
+    public void noArgs() {
+        mock.noArgs();
+    }
+
+    // Test classes lose their parameter names :(
+    @OnChannelMessage("!string @arg0")
+    public void stringArg(String arg0) {
+        mock.stringArg(arg0);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!int @arg0")
+    public void intArg(Integer arg0) {
+        mock.intArg(arg0);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!maybe ?@arg0")
+    public void optionalIntArg(Optional<Integer> arg0) {
+        mock.optionalIntArg(arg0);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!list @arg0")
+    public void listArg(@Delimiter(",") List<Integer> arg0) {
+        mock.listArg(arg0);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!client")
+    public void clientArg(Client client) {
+        mock.clientArg(client);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!user")
+    public void userArg(User user) {
+        mock.userArg(user);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!event")
+    public void eventArg(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
+        mock.eventArg(event);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!nick @arg0")
+    public void nickArg(Nick arg0) {
+        mock.nickArg(arg0);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!multiarg @arg0 @arg1")
+    public void multiArg(Nick arg0, Integer arg1) {
+        mock.multiArg(arg0, arg1);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!returnSomething")
+    public String returnSomething() {
+        mock.returnSomething();
+        return "something";
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!returnNewline")
+    public String returnNewline() {
+        mock.returnNewline();
+        return "Message\nwith\nnewlines.";
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a6b6f2dd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -0,0 +1,48 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ClientCreator;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.EventManager;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.lang.reflect.InvocationTargetException;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.Arrays;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
+
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.doAnswer;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class MockClientCreator implements ClientCreator {
+    static Client client;
+    static List<Consumer<ChannelMessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
+
+    @Override
+    public Client createClient(String nick) {
+        if (client == null) {
+            client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+            EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock(EventManager.class);
+            Mockito.when(client.getName()).thenReturn(nick);
+            Mockito.when(client.getEventManager()).thenReturn(eventManager);
+            doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
+                Object object = invocationOnMock.getArgument(0);
+                Arrays.stream(object.getClass().getMethods())
+                        .filter(method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1 && method.getParameterTypes()[0] == ChannelMessageEvent.class)
+                        .forEach(method -> eventListeners.add(event -> {
+                            try {
+                                method.invoke(object, event);
+                            } catch (InvocationTargetException | IllegalAccessException e) {
+                                throw new IllegalStateException(e);
+                            }
+                        }));
+
+                return null;
+            }).when(eventManager).registerEventListener(any());
+        }
+        return client;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c46dccf9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,137 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ClientCreatorImpl;
+import io.quarkus.test.QuarkusUnitTest;
+import io.smallrye.mutiny.tuples.Functions;
+import org.jboss.shrinkwrap.api.ShrinkWrap;
+import org.jboss.shrinkwrap.api.spec.JavaArchive;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.extension.RegisterExtension;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import static org.mockito.internal.verification.VerificationModeFactory.only;
+
+public class ServiceImplementationTest {
+    @RegisterExtension
+    static final QuarkusUnitTest config = new QuarkusUnitTest()
+            .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.channel", "#channel")
+            .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.nick", "Bot")
+            .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.irc.server", "localhost")
+            .setArchiveProducer(() -> ShrinkWrap.create(JavaArchive.class)
+                                                .addClasses(ExampleService.class,
+                                                        MockClientCreator.class)
+                                                .deleteClass(ClientCreatorImpl.class)
+            );
+
+    ExampleService exampleService;
+    Functions.Function3<String, String, String, ChannelMessageEvent> fireMessage;
+
+    @BeforeEach
+    public void setup() {
+        fireMessage = (nick, channelName, message) -> {
+            User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
+            Mockito.when(user.getNick()).thenReturn(nick);
+            Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(MockClientCreator.client);
+
+            Channel channel = Mockito.mock(Channel.class);
+            Mockito.when(channel.getName()).thenReturn(channelName);
+            Mockito.when(channel.getMessagingName()).thenReturn(channelName);
+            Mockito.when(channel.getClient()).thenReturn(MockClientCreator.client);
+
+            ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
+
+            ChannelMessageEvent event = new ChannelMessageEvent(MockClientCreator.client, serverMessage, user, channel, message);
+            MockClientCreator.eventListeners.forEach(listener -> listener.accept(event));
+            return event;
+        };
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCommandListeners() {
+        ExampleService exampleService = Mockito.mock(ExampleService.class);
+        ExampleService.INSTANCE.setMock(exampleService);
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "Do not trigger anything");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#notrigger", "!noargs");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!noargs");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).noArgs();
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!noargs 10");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!string hi all!");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).stringArg("hi all!");
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!int 20");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).intArg(20);
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!int hello");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!maybe");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).optionalIntArg(Optional.empty());
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!maybe 10");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).optionalIntArg(Optional.of(10));
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!maybe hello");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!list 1,2,3");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).listArg(List.of(1,2,3));
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!list 1,hello,3");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!client");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).clientArg(MockClientCreator.client);
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!event");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).eventArg(event);
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!nick myNick");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).nickArg(Nick.valueOf("myNick"));
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!nick myNick anotherNick");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!multiarg myNick 10");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).multiArg(Nick.valueOf("myNick"), 10);
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!multiarg myNick");
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions(exampleService);
+
+        event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!returnSomething");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).returnSomething();
+        Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("something");
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!returnNewline");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).returnNewline();
+        Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("Message");
+        Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("with");
+        Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("newlines.");
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+    }
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
index 30cacfea..98feb135 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 
+import java.util.Objects;
 import java.util.regex.Matcher;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 
@@ -40,6 +41,19 @@ public static Nick valueOf(String nick) {
         return new Nick(nick);
     }
 
+    @Override public boolean equals(Object o) {
+        if (this == o)
+            return true;
+        if (o == null || getClass() != o.getClass())
+            return false;
+        Nick nick1 = (Nick) o;
+        return getBaseNick().equals(nick1.getBaseNick());
+    }
+
+    @Override public int hashCode() {
+        return Objects.hash(getBaseNick());
+    }
+
     @Override
     public String toString() {
         return getBaseNick();
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
index 0269a530..cc97b7a4 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -1,9 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import io.quarkus.runtime.StartupEvent;
-import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.util.StsUtil;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.enterprise.event.Observes;
@@ -18,23 +16,14 @@ public class BotStartupService {
     @Inject
     Instance<IRCService> ircServices;
 
-    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
-    public String ircServer;
-
-    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.port", defaultValue = "6667")
-    public Integer ircPort;
+    @Inject
+    ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
     public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) {
         Map<String, Client> botNameToClient = new HashMap<>();
         ircServices.stream().forEach(ircService -> {
             Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
-                    nick -> Client.builder()
-                                  .name(nick).nick(nick)
-                                  .server().host(ircServer).port(ircPort, Client.Builder.Server.SecurityType.INSECURE)
-                                  .then()
-                                  .management().stsStorageManager(StsUtil.getDefaultStorageManager())
-                                  .then()
-                                  .build());
+                    clientCreator::createClient);
             client.getEventManager().registerEventListener(ircService);
             ircService.getChannelsToJoin().forEach(client::addChannel);
             ircService.setBot(client);
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..affa4694
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java
@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+
+public interface ClientCreator {
+    public Client createClient(String nick);
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f43c6ca8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.util.StsUtil;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ClientCreatorImpl {
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
+    public String ircServer;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.port", defaultValue = "6667")
+    public Integer ircPort;
+
+    public Client createClient(String nick) {
+        return Client.builder()
+                     .name(nick).nick(nick)
+                     .server().host(ircServer).port(ircPort, Client.Builder.Server.SecurityType.INSECURE)
+                     .then()
+                     .management().stsStorageManager(StsUtil.getDefaultStorageManager())
+                     .then()
+                     .build();
+    }
+}

From 4769f360e3dfc995b6bc25015af38078c0c4be63 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2021 19:10:32 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 16/79] Cache compiled patterns, make ClientCreatorImpl
 implement ClientCreator

---
 .../vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java | 15 +++++++++++----
 .../vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java   |  1 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java   |  2 ++
 .../vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java        |  1 +
 .../vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java       |  2 +-
 5 files changed, 15 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index cb2ed13d..4f5d4a72 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -17,6 +17,7 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
 
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.lang.reflect.*;
@@ -30,6 +31,7 @@ public class IrcServiceImplementor {
     private final GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput;
     private ClassCreator classCreator;
     private MethodCreator methodCreator;
+    private MethodCreator postConstructMethodCreator;
     private FieldDescriptor ircServiceField;
     private Set<String> channelSet;
 
@@ -58,6 +60,8 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
                     .setModifiers(Modifier.PUBLIC)
                     .addAnnotation(Inject.class);
 
+        postConstructMethodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "__postConstruct", void.class));
+        postConstructMethodCreator.addAnnotation(PostConstruct.class);
         for (Method method : ircServiceClass.getDeclaredMethods()) {
             if (hasIrcServiceAnnotation(method) && !Modifier.isPublic(method.getModifiers())) {
                 throw new IllegalStateException("IRC Service annotation detected on non-public method (" + method.toGenericString() + "). Maybe make the method public?" );
@@ -78,6 +82,7 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
         });
         methodCreator.returnValue(outputArray);
 
+        postConstructMethodCreator.returnValue(null);
         classCreator.close();
         return generatedClassName;
     }
@@ -128,13 +133,15 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         BranchResult channelMatchesBranchResult = methodCreator.ifFalse(isChannelTarget);
         channelMatchesBranchResult.trueBranch().returnValue(null);
         BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator = channelMatchesBranchResult.falseBranch();
-        ResultHandle patternRegexResultHandle  = matcherBytecodeCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()));
-        ResultHandle compiledPatternResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
-                patternRegexResultHandle);
+        FieldDescriptor patternField = classCreator.getFieldCreator(FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), getSafeMethodSignature(method) + "$pattern", Pattern.class))
+                .getFieldDescriptor();
+        postConstructMethodCreator.writeInstanceField(patternField, postConstructMethodCreator.getThis(),
+                postConstructMethodCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
+                        postConstructMethodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()))));
         ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
                 channelMessageEventResultHandle);
         ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
-                compiledPatternResultHandle, ircMessageTextResultHandle);
+                matcherBytecodeCreator.readInstanceField(patternField, matcherBytecodeCreator.getThis()), ircMessageTextResultHandle);
         ResultHandle matchesResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
                 patternMatcherResultHandle);
         BranchResult branchResult = matcherBytecodeCreator.ifFalse(matchesResultHandle);
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
index 21d53996..37eadbcf 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -28,7 +28,6 @@ FeatureBuildItem feature() {
     @BuildStep
     void createIrcServiceImplementations(
             CombinedIndexBuildItem combinedIndex,
-            BuildProducer<AdditionalBeanBuildItem> additionalBeanConsumer,
             BuildProducer<GeneratedBeanBuildItem> generatedBeanConsumer) {
         DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
         IndexView indexView = combinedIndex.getIndex();
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
index a6b6f2dd..fe52d2da 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@
 import org.mockito.Mockito;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.enterprise.inject.Alternative;
 import java.lang.reflect.InvocationTargetException;
 import java.util.ArrayList;
 import java.util.Arrays;
@@ -17,6 +18,7 @@
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.doAnswer;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
+@Alternative
 public class MockClientCreator implements ClientCreator {
     static Client client;
     static List<Consumer<ChannelMessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
index c46dccf9..ded5f90d 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -25,6 +25,7 @@ public class ServiceImplementationTest {
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.channel", "#channel")
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.nick", "Bot")
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.irc.server", "localhost")
+            .overrideConfigKey("quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives", "com.oldterns.vilebot.MockClientCreator")
             .setArchiveProducer(() -> ShrinkWrap.create(JavaArchive.class)
                                                 .addClasses(ExampleService.class,
                                                         MockClientCreator.class)
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
index f43c6ca8..5af0d300 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class ClientCreatorImpl {
+public class ClientCreatorImpl implements ClientCreator {
 
     @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.irc.server")
     public String ircServer;

From d71749ccaa332d8d5f1f65a2ccb5690cb81f3279 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2021 20:21:15 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 17/79] Add help command generation to quarkus-irc-bot

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     | 100 +++++++++++++++++-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java  |   7 ++
 .../vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java    |  38 ++++++-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java  |   8 ++
 .../vilebot/services/HelpService.java         |  29 +++++
 5 files changed, 180 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 4f5d4a72..74fc5a4f 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -2,8 +2,10 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.HelpService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.gizmo.*;
@@ -33,7 +35,9 @@ public class IrcServiceImplementor {
     private MethodCreator methodCreator;
     private MethodCreator postConstructMethodCreator;
     private FieldDescriptor ircServiceField;
+    private FieldDescriptor helpServiceField;
     private Set<String> channelSet;
+    private String helpCommandGroup;
 
     public IrcServiceImplementor(GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput, Class<?> ircServiceClass) {
         this.ircServiceClass = ircServiceClass;
@@ -56,10 +60,21 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
         classCreator.addAnnotation(ApplicationScoped.class);
 
         ircServiceField = FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), "ircService", ircServiceClass);
+        helpServiceField = FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), "helpService", HelpService.class);
         classCreator.getFieldCreator(ircServiceField)
                     .setModifiers(Modifier.PUBLIC)
                     .addAnnotation(Inject.class);
 
+        classCreator.getFieldCreator(helpServiceField)
+                .setModifiers(Modifier.PUBLIC)
+                .addAnnotation(Inject.class);
+
+
+        helpCommandGroup = ircServiceClass.getSimpleName();
+        if (helpCommandGroup.endsWith("Service")) {
+            helpCommandGroup = helpCommandGroup.substring(0, helpCommandGroup.length() - "Service".length());
+        }
+
         postConstructMethodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "__postConstruct", void.class));
         postConstructMethodCreator.addAnnotation(PostConstruct.class);
         for (Method method : ircServiceClass.getDeclaredMethods()) {
@@ -118,6 +133,7 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method), void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
         annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", Invoke.Asynchronously);
+
         ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(onChannelMessage.channel());
         ResultHandle actualChannelToCheckResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
                 methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
@@ -138,6 +154,14 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         postConstructMethodCreator.writeInstanceField(patternField, postConstructMethodCreator.getThis(),
                 postConstructMethodCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
                         postConstructMethodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()))));
+
+
+        if (!method.isAnnotationPresent(NoHelp.class)) {
+            postConstructMethodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(HelpService.class, "addHelpCommand", void.class, String.class, String.class),
+                    postConstructMethodCreator.readInstanceField(helpServiceField, postConstructMethodCreator.getThis()),
+                    postConstructMethodCreator.load(helpCommandGroup),
+                    postConstructMethodCreator.load(getHelpString(method, onChannelMessage.value())));
+        }
         ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
                 channelMessageEventResultHandle);
         ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
@@ -297,10 +321,44 @@ private String getPatternRegex(Method method, String parameterPatternString) {
         }
         patternRegexBuilder.append("$");
         // remove the additional space we added
-        patternRegexBuilder.delete(1,2);
+        patternRegexBuilder.deleteCharAt(1);
         return patternRegexBuilder.toString();
     }
 
+    private String getHelpString(Method method, String parameterPatternString) {
+        String splitRegex = "@([a-zA-Z0-9$_]+)";
+        // add a space to the beginning to guarantee first token is not
+        // a parameter
+        String helpString = (" " + parameterPatternString);
+        String[] helpStringParts = helpString.split(splitRegex);
+        String remaining = helpString;
+
+        StringBuilder helpBuilder = new StringBuilder();
+        for (String part : helpStringParts) {
+            helpBuilder.append(part);
+            remaining = remaining.substring(part.length());
+            if (!remaining.isEmpty()) {
+                int endIndex = 1;
+                while (endIndex < remaining.length() && Character.isJavaIdentifierPart(remaining.charAt(endIndex))) {
+                    endIndex++;
+                }
+                String variableName = remaining.substring(1, endIndex);
+                remaining = remaining.substring(variableName.length() + 1);
+
+                Parameter methodParameter = Arrays.stream(method.getParameters()).filter(parameter -> parameter.getName().equals(variableName))
+                        .findFirst().orElseThrow(() -> new IllegalArgumentException("Expected a parameter with name (" +
+                                variableName + ") on method (" + method.getName()
+                                + ") for pattern (" + helpString + "), but no such parameter exists." ));
+
+                helpBuilder.append(getHelpForType(methodParameter, methodParameter.getParameterizedType()));
+            }
+        }
+
+        // remove the additional space we added
+        helpBuilder.deleteCharAt(0);
+        return "{ " + helpBuilder + " }";
+    }
+
     private String getListDelimiter(Parameter parameter) {
         if (parameter.isAnnotationPresent(Delimiter.class)) {
             return parameter.getAnnotation(Delimiter.class).value();
@@ -308,6 +366,7 @@ private String getListDelimiter(Parameter parameter) {
             return "\\s";
         }
     }
+
     private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
         if (type instanceof Class) {
             Class<?> parameterType = (Class<?>) type;
@@ -348,6 +407,45 @@ private String getRegexForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
         }
     }
 
+    private String getHelpForType(Parameter parameter, Type type) {
+        if (type instanceof Class) {
+            Class<?> parameterType = (Class<?>) type;
+            if (int.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    Integer.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    long.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType) ||
+                    Long.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)
+            ) {
+                return "<" + parameter.getName() + ":number>";
+            } else if (String.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)) {
+                if (parameter.isAnnotationPresent(Regex.class)) {
+                    return "<" + parameter.getName() + ":" + parameter.getAnnotation(Regex.class).value() + ">";
+                } else {
+                    return "<" + parameter.getName() + ">";
+                }
+            } else if (Nick.class.isAssignableFrom(parameterType)) {
+                return "<" + parameter.getName() + ":nick>";
+            } else if (parameterType.isEnum()) {
+                return "<" + parameter.getName() + ":" + Arrays.stream(parameterType.getEnumConstants())
+                        .map(Object::toString).collect(Collectors.joining("|")) + ">";
+            } else {
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException("Illegal type (" + type + ") on parameter (" + parameter + ")");
+            }
+        } else if (type instanceof ParameterizedType) {
+            ParameterizedType parameterizedType = (ParameterizedType) type;
+            Class<?> rawType = (Class<?>) parameterizedType.getRawType();
+            if (List.class.isAssignableFrom(rawType)) {
+                String innerHelp = getHelpForType(parameter, parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0]);
+                return innerHelp + "[" + getListDelimiter(parameter) + "<" + parameter.getName() + "2>...]";
+            } else if (Optional.class.isAssignableFrom(rawType)) {
+                return "[" + getHelpForType(parameter, parameterizedType.getActualTypeArguments()[0]) + "]";
+            }else {
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException("Illegal type (" + type + ") on parameter (" + parameter + ")");
+            }
+        } else {
+            throw new IllegalArgumentException("Invalid type (" + type + ").");
+        }
+    }
+
     private ResultHandle getReturnValue(BytecodeCreator bytecodeCreator, Method method, ResultHandle methodReturnValue) {
         if (method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
             return null;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
index e655de0a..7d78f819 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
@@ -86,4 +87,10 @@ public String returnNewline() {
         mock.returnNewline();
         return "Message\nwith\nnewlines.";
     }
+
+    @NoHelp
+    @OnChannelMessage("!nohelp")
+    public void noHelp() {
+        mock.noHelp();
+    }
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
index ded5f90d..a0c4b06e 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -12,11 +12,13 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
 import org.mockito.Mockito;
 
 import java.util.List;
 import java.util.Optional;
 
+import static org.assertj.core.api.AssertionsForClassTypes.assertThat;
 import static org.mockito.internal.verification.VerificationModeFactory.only;
 
 public class ServiceImplementationTest {
@@ -55,6 +57,32 @@ public void setup() {
         };
     }
 
+    @Test
+    public void testHelp() {
+        ChannelMessageEvent event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!help");
+        final ArgumentCaptor<String> captor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass(String.class);
+        Mockito.verify(event.getActor(), Mockito.atLeastOnce()).sendMessage(captor.capture());
+
+        String message = String.join("\n", captor.getAllValues());
+        assertThat(message).contains("Available Commands: \n");
+        assertThat(message).contains("Help: { !help }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("Example: ");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !noargs }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !string <arg0> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !int <arg0:number> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !maybe ?[<arg0:number>] }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !list <arg0:number>[,<arg02>...] }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !client }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !user }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !event }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !nick <arg0:nick> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !multiarg <arg0:nick> <arg1:number> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !returnSomething }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !returnNewline }");
+
+        assertThat(message).doesNotContain("{ !nohelp }");
+    }
+
     @Test
     public void testCommandListeners() {
         ExampleService exampleService = Mockito.mock(ExampleService.class);
@@ -105,7 +133,11 @@ public void testCommandListeners() {
         Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).clientArg(MockClientCreator.client);
         Mockito.reset(exampleService);
 
-        ChannelMessageEvent event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!event");
+        ChannelMessageEvent event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!user");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).userArg(event.getActor());
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!event");
         Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).eventArg(event);
         Mockito.reset(exampleService);
 
@@ -134,5 +166,9 @@ public void testCommandListeners() {
         Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("with");
         Mockito.verify(event.getChannel()).sendMessage("newlines.");
         Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
+        fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!nohelp");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).noHelp();
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
     }
 }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..83a70cbf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+public @interface NoHelp {
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9b796489
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class HelpService {
+    Map<String, List<String>> groupToCommandList = new HashMap<>();
+
+    public void addHelpCommand(String group, String command) {
+        groupToCommandList.computeIfAbsent(group, key -> new ArrayList<>()).add(command);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!help")
+    public void help(User user) {
+        user.sendMessage("Available Commands: ");
+        groupToCommandList.entrySet().stream()
+                .sorted(Map.Entry.comparingByKey())
+                .map(entry -> "  " + entry.getKey() + ": " + String.join(" ", entry.getValue()))
+                .forEach(user::sendMessage);
+    }
+}

From bdf48adfa2711d0866d13ee7af6dcfbefffe93a3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 6 Jun 2021 20:16:15 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 18/79] Add back owilliams to !lessweather

---
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      | 63 +++++++------
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  | 91 ++++++++++++++++---
 2 files changed, 111 insertions(+), 43 deletions(-)

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
index d323aba5..3436bd7e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
@@ -8,9 +8,12 @@
 import com.sun.syndication.io.SyndFeedInput;
 import com.sun.syndication.io.XmlReader;
 import org.jboss.logging.Logger;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.net.MalformedURLException;
 import java.net.URL;
@@ -27,6 +30,9 @@ public class WeatherService
 {
     private static final Logger logger = Logger.getLogger( WeatherService.class );
 
+    @Inject
+    ClientCreator clientCreator;
+
     final String DEFAULT_LOCATION = "ytz";
 
     Map<String, URL> weatherFeedsByIataCode;
@@ -34,6 +40,7 @@ public class WeatherService
     Map<String, WeatherData> weatherDataByIataCode;
 
     final long weatherDataCacheTime = 1000 * 60 * 30;
+    public static final String LESS_NICK = "owilliams";
 
     @PostConstruct
     public void setup()
@@ -109,43 +116,25 @@ public String forecastWeather( String areaCode )
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather" )
-    public String onLessWeather()
-    {
-        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "less" );
-    }
-
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather @areaCode" )
-    public String onLessWeather( String areaCode )
-    {
-        return currentWeather( areaCode, "less" );
-    }
-
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather" )
-    public String onMoreWeather()
-    {
-        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "more" );
-    }
-
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather @areaCode" )
-    public String onMoreWeather( String areaCode )
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather ?@areaCode" )
+    public String onLessWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( areaCode, "more" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "less" );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!weather" )
-    public String onWeather()
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather ?@areaCode" )
+    public String onMoreWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( DEFAULT_LOCATION, "" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "more" );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!weather @areaCode" )
-    public String onWeather( String areaCode )
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!weather ?@areaCode" )
+    public String onWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( areaCode, "" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "" );
     }
 
-    private String currentWeather( String areaCode, String modifier )
+    private String currentWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, String areaCode, String modifier )
     {
         String locationCode = areaCode;
         locationCode = locationCode.toLowerCase();
@@ -176,9 +165,16 @@ private String currentWeather( String areaCode, String modifier )
                 }
                 else if ( "less".equals( modifier ) )
                 {
-                    // bot.sendPrivmsgAs( LESS_NICK, event.getChannel(),
-                    // "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
-                    out.append( "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
+                    Client weatherGuyClient = clientCreator.createClient(LESS_NICK);
+                    weatherGuyClient.addChannel(event.getChannel().getMessagingName());
+                    weatherGuyClient.connect();
+                    String output = "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase();
+                    weatherGuyClient.setOutputListener(message -> {
+                        if (message.contains(output)) {
+                            weatherGuyClient.shutdown();
+                        }
+                    });
+                    weatherGuyClient.sendMessage(event.getChannel().getMessagingName(), output);
                 }
                 else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
                 {
@@ -193,7 +189,10 @@ else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
                     }
                     out.append( sb );
                 }
-                return out.toString();
+                if (out.length() > 0) {
+                    return out.toString();
+                }
+                return null;
             }
         }
         else
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
index 229fe31e..2d8e993b 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
@@ -1,15 +1,29 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
-
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.net.MalformedURLException;
 import java.net.URL;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.concurrent.atomic.AtomicReference;
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
 
+@QuarkusTest
 public class WeatherServiceTest
 {
     private static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
@@ -18,7 +32,11 @@ public class WeatherServiceTest
 
     private final static String YGK = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml";
 
-    private WeatherService weatherService;
+    @Inject
+    WeatherService weatherService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
     @BeforeAll
     public static void beforeAll()
@@ -31,8 +49,6 @@ public void setup()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
         urlStreamHandler.reset();
-        weatherService = new WeatherService();
-        weatherService.setup();
     }
 
     @Test
@@ -57,53 +73,106 @@ public void testLocationForecast()
     public void testDefaultWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
                                          WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather() ).isEqualTo( "Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty()) ).isEqualTo( "Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
                                          WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( channelMessageEvent,Optional.of("ygk") ) ).isEqualTo( "Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testDefaultLessWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+        User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock(Channel.class);
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
+        Mockito.when(channel.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
+        Mockito.when(channel.getMessagingName()).thenReturn("#weather");
+        Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent(client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather");
+
+        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+        Mockito.when(clientCreator.createClient(WeatherService.LESS_NICK)).thenReturn(mockClient);
+        AtomicReference<Consumer<String>> outputConsumer = new AtomicReference<>();
+        Mockito.doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
+            outputConsumer.set(invocationOnMock.getArgument(0));
+            return null;
+        }).when(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
+
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
                                          WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather() ).isEqualTo( "IT'S SUNNY" );
+        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty())).isNull();
+        outputConsumer.get().accept("IT'S SUNNY");
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).addChannel("#weather");
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).connect();
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).sendMessage("#weather", "IT'S SUNNY");
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).shutdown();
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions(mockClient);
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationLessWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+        User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock(Channel.class);
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
+        Mockito.when(channel.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
+        Mockito.when(channel.getMessagingName()).thenReturn("#weather");
+        Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent(client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather");
+
+        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+        Mockito.when(clientCreator.createClient(WeatherService.LESS_NICK)).thenReturn(mockClient);
+        AtomicReference<Consumer<String>> outputConsumer = new AtomicReference<>();
+        Mockito.doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
+                outputConsumer.set(invocationOnMock.getArgument(0));
+                return null;
+            }).when(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
+
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
+                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+
+        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.of("ygk"))).isNull();
+        outputConsumer.get().accept("IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY");
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).addChannel("#weather");
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).connect();
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).sendMessage("#weather", "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
+        Mockito.verify(mockClient).shutdown();
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions(mockClient);
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testDefaultMoreWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
                                          WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather() ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] " );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty()) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] " );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationMoreWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
                                          WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] " );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( channelMessageEvent, Optional.of("ygk") ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] " );
     }
 }

From 418c14e085568b5e91576197bebca04500550097 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 8 Jun 2021 21:19:39 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 19/79] Remove setURLFactory hack, add
 OnMessage/OnPrivateMessage handler

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     | 226 +++++++++++++++---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java       |  14 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java   |  15 +-
 .../vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java    |  43 +++-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java |   9 +
 .../vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java        |   9 +
 .../vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java |   9 +
 .../vilebot/services/HelpService.java         |   5 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java |  18 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   7 -
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |   3 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java |   8 +-
 .../services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java    |   7 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      |  86 +++----
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java |  10 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java |  16 ++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   3 +
 .../vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java      |  17 +-
 .../UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java         |  18 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  | 153 ++++++------
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java |  41 ++++
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    |  97 ++------
 22 files changed, 543 insertions(+), 271 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java
 create mode 100644 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 74fc5a4f..761479a8 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -1,9 +1,12 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.HelpService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
@@ -18,12 +21,19 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.PrivateEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.user.PrivateMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.lang.annotation.Annotation;
 import java.lang.reflect.*;
 import java.util.*;
+import java.util.function.BiConsumer;
+import java.util.function.BiFunction;
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
+import java.util.function.Function;
 import java.util.regex.Matcher;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -75,13 +85,21 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
             helpCommandGroup = helpCommandGroup.substring(0, helpCommandGroup.length() - "Service".length());
         }
 
+        if (ircServiceClass.isAnnotationPresent(Bot.class)) {
+            String botName = ircServiceClass.getAnnotation(Bot.class).value();
+            MethodCreator botNickMethodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "botNick", String.class));
+            botNickMethodCreator.returnValue(botNickMethodCreator.load(botName));
+        }
+
         postConstructMethodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(classCreator.getClassName(), "__postConstruct", void.class));
         postConstructMethodCreator.addAnnotation(PostConstruct.class);
         for (Method method : ircServiceClass.getDeclaredMethods()) {
             if (hasIrcServiceAnnotation(method) && !Modifier.isPublic(method.getModifiers())) {
                 throw new IllegalStateException("IRC Service annotation detected on non-public method (" + method.toGenericString() + "). Maybe make the method public?" );
             }
-            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnChannelMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnChannelMessage(method, annotation));
+            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnChannelMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnChannelMessage(method, annotation, true));
+            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnPrivateMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnPrivateMessage(method, annotation, true));
+            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnMessage(method, annotation));
         }
 
         methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannelsToJoin",
@@ -90,9 +108,9 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
                 methodCreator.load(channelSet.size()));
         channelSet.forEach(channel -> {
             ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(channel);
-            ResultHandle actualChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
+            ResultHandle actualChannel = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", Collection.class, String.class),
                     methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
-            methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Collection.class, "add", boolean.class, Object.class),
+            methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Collection.class, "addAll", boolean.class, Collection.class),
                     outputArray, actualChannel);
         });
         methodCreator.returnValue(outputArray);
@@ -103,7 +121,116 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
     }
 
     private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
-        return method.isAnnotationPresent(OnChannelMessage.class);
+        return method.isAnnotationPresent(OnChannelMessage.class)
+                || method.isAnnotationPresent(OnPrivateMessage.class)
+                || method.isAnnotationPresent(OnMessage.class);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Generates code that looks like this:
+     *
+     * <pre>
+     *   @Handler
+     *   public void method$Handler(PrivateMessageEvent privateMessage) {
+     *       if (!privateMessage.isToClient())) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile(...);
+     *       Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(privateMessage.getMessage());
+     *       if (!matcher.matches()) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Integer intArg = Integer.parseInt(matcher.group("intArg"));
+     *       String stringArg = matcher.group("stringArg");
+     *       return service.theMethod(intArg, stringArg);
+     *   }
+     * </pre>
+     * @param method
+     * @param onMessage
+     */
+    private void implementOnMessage(Method method, OnMessage onMessage) {
+        implementOnPrivateMessage(method, new OnPrivateMessage() {
+
+            @Override public Class<? extends Annotation> annotationType() {
+                return OnPrivateMessage.class;
+            }
+
+            @Override public String value() {
+                return onMessage.value();
+            }
+        }, true);
+
+        implementOnChannelMessage(method, new OnChannelMessage() {
+
+            @Override public Class<? extends Annotation> annotationType() {
+                return OnChannelMessage.class;
+            }
+
+            @Override public String value() {
+                return onMessage.value();
+            }
+
+            @Override public String channel() {
+                return "<<all>>";
+            }
+        }, false);
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Generates code that looks like this:
+     *
+     * <pre>
+     *   @Handler
+     *   public void method$Handler(PrivateMessageEvent privateMessage) {
+     *       if (!privateMessage.isToClient())) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile(...);
+     *       Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher(privateMessage.getMessage());
+     *       if (!matcher.matches()) {
+     *           return;
+     *       }
+     *       Integer intArg = Integer.parseInt(matcher.group("intArg"));
+     *       String stringArg = matcher.group("stringArg");
+     *       return service.theMethod(intArg, stringArg);
+     *   }
+     * </pre>
+     * @param method
+     * @param onPrivateMessage
+     */
+    private void implementOnPrivateMessage(Method method, OnPrivateMessage onPrivateMessage, boolean createHelp) {
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method) + "$$OnPrivateMessage", void.class, PrivateMessageEvent.class);
+        AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
+        annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", Invoke.Asynchronously);
+
+        ResultHandle privateMessageEventResultHandle = methodCreator.getMethodParam(0);
+
+        BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator = methodCreator;
+        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(PrivateMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
+                privateMessageEventResultHandle);
+
+        ImplementedQuery implementedQuery = implementQuery(method, matcherBytecodeCreator, onPrivateMessage.value(), createHelp, ircMessageTextResultHandle,
+                (bytecode, parameterType) -> {
+                    if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(PrivateMessageEvent.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(privateMessageEventResultHandle);
+                    } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
+                                bytecode.getThis()));
+                    } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
+                                privateMessageEventResultHandle));
+                    }
+                    return Optional.empty();
+                });
+        ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles = implementedQuery.methodArgumentResultHandles;
+        BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = implementedQuery.processorBytecode;
+
+        ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle = processorBytecode.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
+        sendResponse(method, processorBytecode, ircServiceResultHandle, methodArgumentResultHandles, (responseByteCodeCreator, textResultHandle) -> {
+            responseByteCodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(PrivateMessageEvent.class, "sendReply", void.class, String.class),
+                    privateMessageEventResultHandle, textResultHandle);
+        });
+        processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
     }
 
     /**
@@ -128,42 +255,75 @@ private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
      * @param method
      * @param onChannelMessage
      */
-    private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannelMessage) {
-        channelSet.add(onChannelMessage.channel());
-        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method), void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
+    private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannelMessage, boolean createHelp) {
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method)  + "$$OnChannelMessage", void.class, ChannelMessageEvent.class);
         AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
         annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", Invoke.Asynchronously);
 
+        ResultHandle isChannelTarget;
+        ResultHandle channelMessageEventResultHandle = methodCreator.getMethodParam(0);
+        if (!onChannelMessage.channel().equals("<<all>>")) {
+            channelSet.add(onChannelMessage.channel());
         ResultHandle channelResultHandle = methodCreator.load(onChannelMessage.channel());
-        ResultHandle actualChannelToCheckResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", String.class, String.class),
+        ResultHandle actualChannelToCheckResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannel", Collection.class, String.class),
                 methodCreator.getThis(), channelResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle channelMessageEventResultHandle = methodCreator.getMethodParam(0);
 
         ResultHandle channelInstanceResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelEvent.class,
                 "getChannel", Channel.class), channelMessageEventResultHandle);
         ResultHandle channelMessagingResultHandle = methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Channel.class,
                 "getMessagingName", String.class), channelInstanceResultHandle);
-        ResultHandle isChannelTarget = methodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "equals",
+        isChannelTarget = methodCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Collection.class, "contains",
                 boolean.class, Object.class), actualChannelToCheckResultHandle, channelMessagingResultHandle);
+        } else {
+            isChannelTarget = methodCreator.load(true);
+        }
 
         BranchResult channelMatchesBranchResult = methodCreator.ifFalse(isChannelTarget);
         channelMatchesBranchResult.trueBranch().returnValue(null);
         BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator = channelMatchesBranchResult.falseBranch();
+        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
+                channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+
+        ImplementedQuery implementedQuery = implementQuery(method, matcherBytecodeCreator, onChannelMessage.value(), createHelp, ircMessageTextResultHandle,
+                (bytecode, parameterType) -> {
+                    if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessageEvent.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+                    } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
+                                bytecode.getThis()));
+                    } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
+                                channelMessageEventResultHandle));
+                    }
+                    return Optional.empty();
+                });
+        ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles = implementedQuery.methodArgumentResultHandles;
+        BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = implementedQuery.processorBytecode;
+
+        ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle = processorBytecode.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
+        sendResponse(method, processorBytecode, ircServiceResultHandle, methodArgumentResultHandles, (responseByteCodeCreator, textResultHandle) -> {
+            responseByteCodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "sendReply", void.class, String.class),
+                                                        channelMessageEventResultHandle, textResultHandle);
+        });
+        processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
+    }
+
+    private ImplementedQuery implementQuery(Method method, BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator, String pattern, boolean createHelp, ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle, BiFunction<BytecodeCreator, Class, Optional<ResultHandle>> additionalMatcherBiFunction) {
+
         FieldDescriptor patternField = classCreator.getFieldCreator(FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), getSafeMethodSignature(method) + "$pattern", Pattern.class))
                 .getFieldDescriptor();
         postConstructMethodCreator.writeInstanceField(patternField, postConstructMethodCreator.getThis(),
                 postConstructMethodCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "compile", Pattern.class, String.class),
-                        postConstructMethodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, onChannelMessage.value()))));
+                        postConstructMethodCreator.load(getPatternRegex(method, pattern))));
 
 
-        if (!method.isAnnotationPresent(NoHelp.class)) {
+        if (createHelp && !method.isAnnotationPresent(NoHelp.class)) {
             postConstructMethodCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(HelpService.class, "addHelpCommand", void.class, String.class, String.class),
                     postConstructMethodCreator.readInstanceField(helpServiceField, postConstructMethodCreator.getThis()),
                     postConstructMethodCreator.load(helpCommandGroup),
-                    postConstructMethodCreator.load(getHelpString(method, onChannelMessage.value())));
+                    postConstructMethodCreator.load(getHelpString(method, pattern)));
         }
-        ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "getMessage", String.class),
-                channelMessageEventResultHandle);
+
         ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
                 matcherBytecodeCreator.readInstanceField(patternField, matcherBytecodeCreator.getThis()), ircMessageTextResultHandle);
         ResultHandle matchesResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
@@ -171,23 +331,19 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         BranchResult branchResult = matcherBytecodeCreator.ifFalse(matchesResultHandle);
         branchResult.trueBranch().returnValue(null);
         BytecodeCreator processorBytecode = branchResult.falseBranch();
-        ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle = processorBytecode.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
+
 
         ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles = new ResultHandle[method.getParameterCount()];
         for (int i = 0; i < method.getParameterCount(); i++) {
             Parameter parameter = method.getParameters()[i];
-            if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessageEvent.class)) {
-                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = channelMessageEventResultHandle;
-            } else if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
-                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
-                        processorBytecode.getThis());
-            } else if (parameter.getType().isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
-                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = processorBytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
-                        channelMessageEventResultHandle);
-            }else {
-                methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle);
-            }
+            Optional<ResultHandle> maybeResult = additionalMatcherBiFunction.apply(processorBytecode, parameter.getType());
+            methodArgumentResultHandles[i] = maybeResult
+                    .orElseGet(() -> extractParameterFromMatcher(processorBytecode, parameter, patternMatcherResultHandle));
         }
+        return new ImplementedQuery(methodArgumentResultHandles, processorBytecode);
+    }
+
+    private void sendResponse(Method method, BytecodeCreator processorBytecode, ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle, ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles, BiConsumer<BytecodeCreator, ResultHandle> responseSender) {
         ResultHandle methodResult = processorBytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(method),
                 ircServiceResultHandle, methodArgumentResultHandles);
         ResultHandle stringReturnValue = getReturnValue(processorBytecode, method, methodResult);
@@ -199,13 +355,21 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
             AssignableResultHandle indexResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.createVariable(int.class);
             replyBytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, replyBytecodeCreator.load(0));
             BytecodeCreator replyLoopBytecodeCreator = replyBytecodeCreator.whileLoop(conditionCreator ->
-                conditionCreator.ifIntegerLessThan(indexResultHandle, conditionCreator.arrayLength(splitResultHandle))
+                    conditionCreator.ifIntegerLessThan(indexResultHandle, conditionCreator.arrayLength(splitResultHandle))
             ).block();
-            replyLoopBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelMessageEvent.class, "sendReply", void.class, String.class),
-                    channelMessageEventResultHandle, replyLoopBytecodeCreator.readArrayValue(splitResultHandle, indexResultHandle));
+            responseSender.accept(replyLoopBytecodeCreator, replyLoopBytecodeCreator.readArrayValue(splitResultHandle, indexResultHandle));
             replyLoopBytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, replyLoopBytecodeCreator.increment(indexResultHandle));
         }
-        processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
+    }
+
+    private static final class ImplementedQuery {
+        final ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles;
+        final BytecodeCreator processorBytecode;
+
+        public ImplementedQuery(ResultHandle[] methodArgumentResultHandles, BytecodeCreator processorBytecode) {
+            this.methodArgumentResultHandles = methodArgumentResultHandles;
+            this.processorBytecode = processorBytecode;
+        }
     }
 
     private String getSafeMethodSignature(Method method) {
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
index 37eadbcf..dd263beb 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -4,6 +4,8 @@
 import java.util.HashSet;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.AdditionalBeanBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
@@ -30,6 +32,8 @@ void createIrcServiceImplementations(
             CombinedIndexBuildItem combinedIndex,
             BuildProducer<GeneratedBeanBuildItem> generatedBeanConsumer) {
         DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
+        DotName onPrivateMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnPrivateMessage.class.getName());
+        DotName onMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnMessage.class.getName());
         IndexView indexView = combinedIndex.getIndex();
         GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput = new GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor(generatedBeanConsumer);
 
@@ -40,6 +44,16 @@ void createIrcServiceImplementations(
             classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
         }
 
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView
+                .getAnnotations(onPrivateMessageDotName)) {
+            classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
+        }
+
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView
+                .getAnnotations(onMessageDotName)) {
+            classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
+        }
+
         for (ClassInfo classInfo : classWithAnnotations) {
             try {
                 Class<?> ircServiceClass = Class.forName(classInfo.name().toString(), false, Thread.currentThread().getContextClassLoader());
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
index fe52d2da..dac0872d 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -3,7 +3,10 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ClientCreator;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.MessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.CaseMapping;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.EventManager;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.ServerInfo;
 import org.mockito.Mockito;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -21,7 +24,7 @@
 @Alternative
 public class MockClientCreator implements ClientCreator {
     static Client client;
-    static List<Consumer<ChannelMessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
+    static List<Consumer<MessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
 
     @Override
     public Client createClient(String nick) {
@@ -29,14 +32,20 @@ public Client createClient(String nick) {
             client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
             EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock(EventManager.class);
             Mockito.when(client.getName()).thenReturn(nick);
+            Mockito.when(client.getNick()).thenReturn(nick);
             Mockito.when(client.getEventManager()).thenReturn(eventManager);
+            ServerInfo serverInfo = Mockito.mock(ServerInfo.class);
+            Mockito.when(client.getServerInfo()).thenReturn(serverInfo);
+            Mockito.when(serverInfo.getCaseMapping()).thenReturn(CaseMapping.ASCII);
             doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
                 Object object = invocationOnMock.getArgument(0);
                 Arrays.stream(object.getClass().getMethods())
-                        .filter(method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1 && method.getParameterTypes()[0] == ChannelMessageEvent.class)
+                        .filter(method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1 && MessageEvent.class.isAssignableFrom(method.getParameterTypes()[0]))
                         .forEach(method -> eventListeners.add(event -> {
                             try {
-                                method.invoke(object, event);
+                                if (method.getParameterTypes()[0].isAssignableFrom(event.getClass())) {
+                                    method.invoke(object, event);
+                                }
                             } catch (InvocationTargetException | IllegalAccessException e) {
                                 throw new IllegalStateException(e);
                             }
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
index a0c4b06e..d17dec06 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -12,11 +12,13 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.user.PrivateMessageEvent;
 import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
 import org.mockito.Mockito;
 
 import java.util.List;
 import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.function.BiFunction;
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.AssertionsForClassTypes.assertThat;
 import static org.mockito.internal.verification.VerificationModeFactory.only;
@@ -36,6 +38,7 @@ public class ServiceImplementationTest {
 
     ExampleService exampleService;
     Functions.Function3<String, String, String, ChannelMessageEvent> fireMessage;
+    BiFunction<String, String, PrivateMessageEvent> firePrivateMessage;
 
     @BeforeEach
     public void setup() {
@@ -55,10 +58,22 @@ public void setup() {
             MockClientCreator.eventListeners.forEach(listener -> listener.accept(event));
             return event;
         };
+
+        firePrivateMessage = (nick, message) -> {
+            User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
+            Mockito.when(user.getNick()).thenReturn(nick);
+            Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(MockClientCreator.client);
+
+            ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
+
+            PrivateMessageEvent event = new PrivateMessageEvent(MockClientCreator.client, serverMessage, user, nick, message);
+            MockClientCreator.eventListeners.forEach(listener -> listener.accept(event));
+            return event;
+        };
     }
 
     @Test
-    public void testHelp() {
+    public void testHelpChannel() {
         ChannelMessageEvent event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!help");
         final ArgumentCaptor<String> captor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass(String.class);
         Mockito.verify(event.getActor(), Mockito.atLeastOnce()).sendMessage(captor.capture());
@@ -83,6 +98,32 @@ public void testHelp() {
         assertThat(message).doesNotContain("{ !nohelp }");
     }
 
+    @Test
+    public void testHelpPrivate() {
+        PrivateMessageEvent event = firePrivateMessage.apply("user", "!help");
+        final ArgumentCaptor<String> captor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass(String.class);
+        Mockito.verify(event.getActor(), Mockito.atLeastOnce()).sendMessage(captor.capture());
+
+        String message = String.join("\n", captor.getAllValues());
+        assertThat(message).contains("Available Commands: \n");
+        assertThat(message).contains("Help: { !help }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("Example: ");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !noargs }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !string <arg0> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !int <arg0:number> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !maybe ?[<arg0:number>] }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !list <arg0:number>[,<arg02>...] }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !client }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !user }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !event }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !nick <arg0:nick> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !multiarg <arg0:nick> <arg1:number> }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !returnSomething }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !returnNewline }");
+
+        assertThat(message).doesNotContain("{ !nohelp }");
+    }
+
     @Test
     public void testCommandListeners() {
         ExampleService exampleService = Mockito.mock(ExampleService.class);
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..04e37e17
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+public @interface Bot {
+    String value();
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..cbacc5b1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+public @interface OnMessage {
+    String value();
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c24afa24
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+
+import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
+import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
+
+@Retention(RetentionPolicy.RUNTIME)
+public @interface OnPrivateMessage {
+    String value();
+}
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
index 9b796489..cecbca8a 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -8,7 +8,6 @@
 import java.util.HashMap;
 import java.util.List;
 import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class HelpService {
@@ -18,7 +17,7 @@ public void addHelpCommand(String group, String command) {
         groupToCommandList.computeIfAbsent(group, key -> new ArrayList<>()).add(command);
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!help")
+    @OnMessage("!help")
     public void help(User user) {
         user.sendMessage("Available Commands: ");
         groupToCommandList.entrySet().stream()
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
index 44eb1806..ed29bade 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -1,9 +1,12 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.ConfigProvider;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 
 import java.util.Collection;
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.List;
 
 public abstract class IRCService {
     @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.nick")
@@ -19,14 +22,21 @@ public String botNick() {
     }
 
     public String getMainChannel() {
-        return getChannel(defaultChannel);
+        return defaultChannel;
     }
 
-    public String getChannel(String channel) {
+    public Collection<String> getChannel(String channel) {
         if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
-            return getMainChannel();
+            return Collections.singleton(getMainChannel());
         }
-        return channel;
+        if ("<<all>>".equals(channel)) {
+            return getChannelsToJoin();
+        }
+        if (channel.startsWith("${")) {
+            String channelSet = ConfigProvider.getConfig().getValue(channel.substring(1, channel.length() - 1), String.class);
+            return List.of(channelSet.split(","));
+        }
+        return List.of(channel.split(","));
     }
 
     public Client getBot() {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index e67fff8e..caa54215 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -98,13 +98,6 @@
       <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
       <scope>test</scope>
     </dependency>
-    <!-- So Quarkus can load JAR files -->
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.xwiki.commons</groupId>
-      <artifactId>xwiki-commons-legacy-classloader-protocol-jar</artifactId>
-      <version>13.4</version>
-      <scope>test</scope>
-    </dependency>
   </dependencies>
   <build>
     <plugins>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index ff329009..7e8fa962 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
@@ -64,6 +65,8 @@ public String getBottomThree()
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "@channelMessage" )
+    // TODO: Maybe replace this with a custom help command?
+    @NoHelp
     public String karmaIncOrDec( User user, String channelMessage )
     {
         Nick userNick = Nick.getNick( user );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
index b7b8a8ea..2a68ac6c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
@@ -1,13 +1,14 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
 import org.jsoup.select.Elements;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
-import java.net.URL;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.net.URLConnection;
 import java.util.Scanner;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -18,6 +19,9 @@ public class TtcService
 
     public static final String TTC_URL = "https://www.ttc.ca/Service_Advisories/all_service_alerts.jsp";
 
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
     @OnChannelMessage( "!ttc" )
     public String printAlerts()
     {
@@ -51,7 +55,7 @@ private String getContent()
     {
         String content;
         URLConnection connection;
-        connection = new URL( TTC_URL ).openConnection();
+        connection = urlFactory.build( TTC_URL ).openConnection();
         connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
         Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
         scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
index 73a8c088..aac408ff 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
@@ -2,10 +2,12 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 
@@ -17,6 +19,9 @@ public class UrlTitleAnnouncerService
 
     private static final Pattern titlePattern = Pattern.compile( "<title>(.*)</title>" );
 
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
     @OnChannelMessage( "@url" )
     public String getUrlTitle( @Regex( URL_PATTERN ) String url )
     {
@@ -36,7 +41,7 @@ private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( String url )
 
         try
         {
-            Document doc = Jsoup.connect( url ).get();
+            Document doc = Jsoup.parse( urlFactory.build( url ), 5000 );
             title = doc.title();
         }
         catch ( IOException x )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
index 3436bd7e..1e0ae00b 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
 import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
 import com.sun.syndication.io.FeedException;
@@ -33,6 +33,9 @@ public class WeatherService
     @Inject
     ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
     final String DEFAULT_LOCATION = "ytz";
 
     Map<String, URL> weatherFeedsByIataCode;
@@ -40,6 +43,7 @@ public class WeatherService
     Map<String, WeatherData> weatherDataByIataCode;
 
     final long weatherDataCacheTime = 1000 * 60 * 30;
+
     public static final String LESS_NICK = "owilliams";
 
     @PostConstruct
@@ -48,35 +52,35 @@ public void setup()
     {
         weatherDataByIataCode = new HashMap<>();
         weatherFeedsByIataCode = new HashMap<>();
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxu", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-137_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-143_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ygk", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yeg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-50_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-52_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yul", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/qc-147_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yvr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-74_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-77_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ytz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-85_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-82_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ns-19_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nb-29_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nl-24_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/pe-5_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-100_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ywg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/mb-38_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-32_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxe", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-40_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ymm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-20_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxs", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-79_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyj", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-85_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylw", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-48_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yka", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-45_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yow", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-118_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxy", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/yt-16_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yzf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nt-24_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfb", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-21_e.xml" ) );
-        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-22_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxu", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-137_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyz", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-143_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ygk", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yeg", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-50_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyc", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-52_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yul", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/qc-147_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yvr", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-74_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhm", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-77_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ytz", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykz", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-85_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykf", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-82_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhz", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ns-19_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfc", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nb-29_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyt", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nl-24_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyg", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/pe-5_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqt", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-100_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ywg", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/mb-38_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqr", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-32_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxe", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-40_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ymm", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-20_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxs", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-79_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyj", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-85_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylw", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-48_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yka", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-45_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yow", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-118_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxy", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/yt-16_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yzf", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nt-24_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfb", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-21_e.xml" ) );
+        weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylt", urlFactory.build( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-22_e.xml" ) );
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!forecast" )
@@ -119,19 +123,19 @@ public String forecastWeather( String areaCode )
     @OnChannelMessage( "!lessweather ?@areaCode" )
     public String onLessWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "less" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse( DEFAULT_LOCATION ), "less" );
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!moreweather ?@areaCode" )
     public String onMoreWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "more" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse( DEFAULT_LOCATION ), "more" );
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "!weather ?@areaCode" )
     public String onWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, Optional<String> areaCode )
     {
-        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse(DEFAULT_LOCATION), "" );
+        return currentWeather( event, areaCode.orElse( DEFAULT_LOCATION ), "" );
     }
 
     private String currentWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, String areaCode, String modifier )
@@ -165,16 +169,17 @@ private String currentWeather( ChannelMessageEvent event, String areaCode, Strin
                 }
                 else if ( "less".equals( modifier ) )
                 {
-                    Client weatherGuyClient = clientCreator.createClient(LESS_NICK);
-                    weatherGuyClient.addChannel(event.getChannel().getMessagingName());
+                    Client weatherGuyClient = clientCreator.createClient( LESS_NICK );
+                    weatherGuyClient.addChannel( event.getChannel().getMessagingName() );
                     weatherGuyClient.connect();
                     String output = "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase();
-                    weatherGuyClient.setOutputListener(message -> {
-                        if (message.contains(output)) {
+                    weatherGuyClient.setOutputListener( message -> {
+                        if ( message.contains( output ) )
+                        {
                             weatherGuyClient.shutdown();
                         }
-                    });
-                    weatherGuyClient.sendMessage(event.getChannel().getMessagingName(), output);
+                    } );
+                    weatherGuyClient.sendMessage( event.getChannel().getMessagingName(), output );
                 }
                 else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
                 {
@@ -189,7 +194,8 @@ else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
                     }
                     out.append( sb );
                 }
-                if (out.length() > 0) {
+                if ( out.length() > 0 )
+                {
                     return out.toString();
                 }
                 return null;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b90d3d40
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+public interface URLFactory
+{
+    public URL build( String url )
+        throws MalformedURLException;
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..007481bc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class URLFactoryImpl
+    implements URLFactory
+{
+    public URL build( String url )
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        return new URL( url );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index e752d5a5..0ec91f90 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -2,6 +2,9 @@
 vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
 vilebot.default.channel=#provinggrounds
 
+# Test configuration
+%test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory
+
 # Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
 vilebot.irc.port=6667
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
index 9b6ec43d..4a9b1d8e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
@@ -1,31 +1,30 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
 
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
 
+@QuarkusTest
 public class TtcServiceTest
 {
 
-    static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+    @Inject
+    TtcService ttcService;
 
-    @BeforeAll
-    public static void setup()
-    {
-        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
-    }
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
     @Test
     public void testPrintAlerts()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        TtcService ttcService = new TtcService();
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( TtcService.TTC_URL ),
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( TtcService.TTC_URL,
                                          TtcServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ttc-example-alerts.html" ) );
         assertThat( ttcService.printAlerts() ).isEqualTo( "Line 1: There is no subway service between Sheppard-Yonge and Bloor-Yonge stations due to ATC signal system testing. Shuttle buses are running.\n"
             + "Line 1: Next Mon. through Thurs. nightly starting at midnight, customers will board northbound trains on southbound platforms at Pioneer Village and Highway 407 stations during single-track operation. Expect slightly longer wait times.\n"
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
index 2bcd5eac..5dc5c503 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
@@ -1,30 +1,30 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
 
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.io.IOException;
-import java.net.URL;
 
 import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
 
+@QuarkusTest
 public class UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest
 {
-    static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
-    @BeforeAll
-    public static void beforeAll()
-    {
-        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
-    }
+    @Inject
+    UrlTitleAnnouncerService urlTitleAnnouncerService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
     @Test
     public void testGetUrlTitle()
         throws IOException
     {
-        UrlTitleAnnouncerService urlTitleAnnouncerService = new UrlTitleAnnouncerService();
-        urlStreamHandler.mockHttpConnection( new URL( "https://example.com/" ),
+        urlStreamHandler.mockHttpConnection( "https://example.com/",
                                              UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ) );
         assertThat( urlTitleAnnouncerService.getUrlTitle( "https://example.com/" ) ).isEqualTo( "'Example Webpage'" );
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
index 2d8e993b..2b7dde1d 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
@@ -15,7 +15,6 @@
 
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
 import java.util.Optional;
 import java.util.concurrent.atomic.AtomicReference;
 import java.util.function.Consumer;
@@ -26,7 +25,6 @@
 @QuarkusTest
 public class WeatherServiceTest
 {
-    private static TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
 
     private final static String YYZ = "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml";
 
@@ -35,15 +33,12 @@ public class WeatherServiceTest
     @Inject
     WeatherService weatherService;
 
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
     @InjectMock
     ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
-    @BeforeAll
-    public static void beforeAll()
-    {
-        urlStreamHandler = TestUrlStreamHandler.setup();
-    }
-
     @BeforeEach
     public void setup()
         throws MalformedURLException
@@ -55,8 +50,7 @@ public void setup()
     public void testDefaultForecast()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YYZ, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
         assertThat( weatherService.forecastWeather() ).isEqualTo( "[Sunday night: Clear. Low 6.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Mainly cloudy. Low 13.] [Tuesday: Sunny. High 24.] [Tuesday night: Cloudy periods. Low 12.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 22.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 14. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 22. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] " );
     }
 
@@ -64,8 +58,7 @@ public void testDefaultForecast()
     public void testLocationForecast()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YGK, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
         assertThat( weatherService.forecastWeather( "ygk" ) ).isEqualTo( "[Sunday night: Partly cloudy. Low plus 5.] [Monday: Mainly sunny. High 23.] [Monday night: Increasing cloudiness. Low 12.] [Tuesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 20.] [Tuesday night: Clear. Low 11.] [Wednesday: A mix of sun and cloud. High 21.] [Wednesday night: Chance of showers. Low 13. POP 60%] [Thursday: Chance of showers. High 19. POP 60%] [Thursday night: Chance of showers. Low 15. POP 60%] " );
     }
 
@@ -73,106 +66,106 @@ public void testLocationForecast()
     public void testDefaultWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty()) ).isEqualTo( "Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock( ChannelMessageEvent.class );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YYZ, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( channelMessageEvent,
+                                              Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "Sunny, Temperature: 14.5°C, Humidity: 46 % - Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( channelMessageEvent,Optional.of("ygk") ) ).isEqualTo( "Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock( ChannelMessageEvent.class );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YGK, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onWeather( channelMessageEvent,
+                                              Optional.of( "ygk" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Partly Cloudy, Temperature: 16.7°C, Humidity: 46 % - Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021" );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testDefaultLessWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        Client client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
-        User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
-        Channel channel = Mockito.mock(Channel.class);
-        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
-        Mockito.when(channel.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
-        Mockito.when(channel.getMessagingName()).thenReturn("#weather");
-        Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent(client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather");
-
-        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
-        Mockito.when(clientCreator.createClient(WeatherService.LESS_NICK)).thenReturn(mockClient);
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#weather" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather" );
+
+        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        Mockito.when( clientCreator.createClient( WeatherService.LESS_NICK ) ).thenReturn( mockClient );
         AtomicReference<Consumer<String>> outputConsumer = new AtomicReference<>();
-        Mockito.doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
-            outputConsumer.set(invocationOnMock.getArgument(0));
+        Mockito.doAnswer( invocationOnMock -> {
+            outputConsumer.set( invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 ) );
             return null;
-        }).when(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
-
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty())).isNull();
-        outputConsumer.get().accept("IT'S SUNNY");
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).addChannel("#weather");
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).connect();
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).sendMessage("#weather", "IT'S SUNNY");
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).shutdown();
-        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions(mockClient);
+        } ).when( mockClient ).setOutputListener( any() );
+
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YYZ, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather( channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty() ) ).isNull();
+        outputConsumer.get().accept( "IT'S SUNNY" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).addChannel( "#weather" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).connect();
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).setOutputListener( any() );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).sendMessage( "#weather", "IT'S SUNNY" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).shutdown();
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( mockClient );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationLessWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        Client client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
-        User user = Mockito.mock(User.class);
-        Channel channel = Mockito.mock(Channel.class);
-        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock(ServerMessage.class);
-        Mockito.when(channel.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
-        Mockito.when(channel.getMessagingName()).thenReturn("#weather");
-        Mockito.when(user.getClient()).thenReturn(client);
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent(client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather");
-
-        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
-        Mockito.when(clientCreator.createClient(WeatherService.LESS_NICK)).thenReturn(mockClient);
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#weather" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!lessweather" );
+
+        Client mockClient = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        Mockito.when( clientCreator.createClient( WeatherService.LESS_NICK ) ).thenReturn( mockClient );
         AtomicReference<Consumer<String>> outputConsumer = new AtomicReference<>();
-        Mockito.doAnswer(invocationOnMock -> {
-                outputConsumer.set(invocationOnMock.getArgument(0));
-                return null;
-            }).when(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
-
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
-                WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-
-        assertThat(weatherService.onLessWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.of("ygk"))).isNull();
-        outputConsumer.get().accept("IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY");
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).addChannel("#weather");
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).connect();
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).setOutputListener(any());
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).sendMessage("#weather", "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
-        Mockito.verify(mockClient).shutdown();
-        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions(mockClient);
+        Mockito.doAnswer( invocationOnMock -> {
+            outputConsumer.set( invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 ) );
+            return null;
+        } ).when( mockClient ).setOutputListener( any() );
+
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YGK, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+
+        assertThat( weatherService.onLessWeather( channelMessageEvent, Optional.of( "ygk" ) ) ).isNull();
+        outputConsumer.get().accept( "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).addChannel( "#weather" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).connect();
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).setOutputListener( any() );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).sendMessage( "#weather", "IT'S PARTLY CLOUDY" );
+        Mockito.verify( mockClient ).shutdown();
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( mockClient );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testDefaultMoreWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YYZ ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather(channelMessageEvent, Optional.empty()) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] " );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock( ChannelMessageEvent.class );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YYZ, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ytz-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( channelMessageEvent,
+                                                  Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Toronto City Centre Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Sunny] [Temperature: 14.5°C] [Pressure: 102.3 kPa] [Visibility: 16.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 3.1°C] [Wind: SSW 4 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: N/A] " );
     }
 
     @Test
     public void testLocationMoreWeather()
         throws MalformedURLException
     {
-        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock(ChannelMessageEvent.class);
-        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( new URL( YGK ),
-                                         WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
-        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( channelMessageEvent, Optional.of("ygk") ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] " );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = Mockito.mock( ChannelMessageEvent.class );
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( YGK, WeatherServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "ygk-weather-data.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( weatherService.onMoreWeather( channelMessageEvent,
+                                                  Optional.of( "ygk" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "[Observed at: Kingston Airport 7:00 PM EDT Sunday 30 May 2021] [Condition: Partly Cloudy] [Temperature: 16.7°C] [Pressure / Tendency: 102.3 kPa falling] [Visibility: 24.1 km] [Humidity: 46 %] [Dewpoint: 5.1°C] [Wind: SSE 13 km/h] [Air Quality Health Index: 2] " );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..0297c23d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
@@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.enterprise.inject.Alternative;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+@Alternative
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TestURLFactory
+    implements URLFactory
+{
+    Map<String, URL> urlStringToUrlMap = new HashMap<>();
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
+    @Override
+    public URL build( String url )
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        URL tempURL = new URL( url );
+        URL testURL =
+            new URL( tempURL.getProtocol(), tempURL.getHost(), tempURL.getPort(), tempURL.getFile(), urlStreamHandler );
+        urlStringToUrlMap.put( url, testURL );
+        return testURL;
+    }
+
+    public URL getURL( String url )
+    {
+        return urlStringToUrlMap.get( url );
+    }
+
+    void reset()
+    {
+        urlStringToUrlMap.clear();
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index 5826327c..4390dbfe 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -1,10 +1,8 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import edu.emory.mathcs.util.classloader.jar.JarProxy;
-import edu.emory.mathcs.util.classloader.jar.JarURLConnection;
-import org.mockito.invocation.InvocationOnMock;
-import org.mockito.stubbing.Answer;
-
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.io.InputStream;
@@ -12,11 +10,9 @@
 import java.net.URL;
 import java.net.URLConnection;
 import java.net.URLStreamHandler;
-import java.net.URLStreamHandlerFactory;
 import java.util.HashMap;
 import java.util.Map;
 
-import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
 
@@ -24,70 +20,21 @@
  * {@link URLStreamHandler} that allows us to control the {@link URLConnection URLConnections} that are returned by
  * {@link URL URLs} in the code under test. Based on https://claritysoftware.co.uk/mocking-javas-url-with-mockito/
  */
+@ApplicationScoped
 public class TestUrlStreamHandler
     extends URLStreamHandler
 {
+    private Map<String, URLConnection> urlToConnectionMap = new HashMap<>();
 
-    private Map<URL, URLConnection> urlToConnectionMap = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private static TestUrlStreamHandler handlerInstance;
-
-    /**
-     * Should be called in the @BeforeAll of a test class, replaces the URLStreamHandlerFactory with a mock that returns
-     * an instance of TestUrl
-     *
-     * @return An instance of TestUrlStreamHandler to be used in tests
-     */
-    public static TestUrlStreamHandler setup()
-    {
-        if ( handlerInstance != null )
-        {
-            return handlerInstance;
-        }
-        try
-        {
-            TestUrlStreamHandler out = new TestUrlStreamHandler();
-            // URL provide no way to get the default factory :(
-            // (And reflection on internal classes will be disabled by default)
-            URLStreamHandler jarHandler = getJarURLStreamHandler();
-            URLStreamHandlerFactory urlStreamHandlerFactory = mock( URLStreamHandlerFactory.class );
-            URL.setURLStreamHandlerFactory( urlStreamHandlerFactory );
-
-            when( urlStreamHandlerFactory.createURLStreamHandler( any() ) ).thenAnswer( new Answer<URLStreamHandler>()
-            {
-
-                @Override
-                public URLStreamHandler answer( InvocationOnMock invocationOnMock )
-                    throws Throwable
-                {
-                    // Quarkus need to open Jars during tests, so we can't use a mock
-                    // for jars
-                    if ( invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 ).toString().startsWith( "jar" ) )
-                    {
-                        return jarHandler;
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        return handlerInstance;
-                    }
-                }
-            } );
-            handlerInstance = out;
-            return out;
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            throw new IllegalStateException( "Error when mocking URL Factory: " + e );
-        }
-    }
+    @Inject
+    TestURLFactory testURLFactory;
 
     @Override
     protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
-        throws IOException
     {
-        if ( urlToConnectionMap.containsKey( url ) )
+        if ( urlToConnectionMap.containsKey( url.toString() ) )
         {
-            return urlToConnectionMap.get( url );
+            return urlToConnectionMap.get( url.toString() );
         }
         else
         {
@@ -102,6 +49,7 @@ protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
     public void reset()
     {
         urlToConnectionMap.clear();
+        testURLFactory.reset();
     }
 
     /**
@@ -115,7 +63,7 @@ public void reset()
      * @param urlConnection The mocked url connection
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, URLConnection urlConnection )
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( String url, URLConnection urlConnection )
     {
         urlToConnectionMap.put( url, urlConnection );
         return this;
@@ -128,7 +76,7 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, URLConnection urlConnection
      * @param text The text the url connection input stream should match
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, String text )
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( String url, String text )
     {
         URLConnection urlConnection = mock( URLConnection.class );
         InputStream connectionInputStream = new ByteArrayInputStream( text.getBytes() );
@@ -150,7 +98,7 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, String text )
      * @param resource The input stream the url connection should use
      * @return this for chaining
      */
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, InputStream resource )
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( String url, InputStream resource )
     {
         URLConnection urlConnection = mock( URLConnection.class );
         try
@@ -164,12 +112,12 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockConnection( URL url, InputStream resource )
         return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
     }
 
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( URL url, InputStream resource )
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String url, InputStream resource )
     {
         return mockHttpConnection( "GET", url, resource, 200 );
     }
 
-    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, URL url, InputStream resource, int status )
+    public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, String url, InputStream resource, int status )
     {
         HttpURLConnection urlConnection = mock( HttpURLConnection.class );
         try
@@ -177,7 +125,7 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, URL url, InputStr
             when( urlConnection.getInputStream() ).thenReturn( resource );
             when( urlConnection.getResponseCode() ).thenReturn( status );
             when( urlConnection.getRequestMethod() ).thenReturn( method );
-            when( urlConnection.getURL() ).thenReturn( url );
+            when( urlConnection.getURL() ).thenAnswer( invocationOnMock -> testURLFactory.getURL( url ) );
         }
         catch ( IOException e )
         {
@@ -185,17 +133,4 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, URL url, InputStr
         }
         return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
     }
-
-    private static URLStreamHandler getJarURLStreamHandler()
-    {
-        return new URLStreamHandler()
-        {
-            @Override
-            protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
-                throws IOException
-            {
-                return new JarURLConnection( url, new JarProxy() );
-            }
-        };
-    }
 }
\ No newline at end of file

From 5eab2e22e3e2cb6c4aff43d7aaedd5b6f40755ea Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2021 21:32:11 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 20/79] Add Fact and Quote service

---
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |  40 +-
 .../deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java       |   9 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java   |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java         |   7 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |  20 +-
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       | 596 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java   |  43 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java    |  67 ++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   3 +-
 9 files changed, 774 insertions(+), 15 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 761479a8..2d5e1ac5 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -21,7 +21,6 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.PrivateEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.user.PrivateMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
@@ -32,8 +31,6 @@
 import java.util.*;
 import java.util.function.BiConsumer;
 import java.util.function.BiFunction;
-import java.util.function.Consumer;
-import java.util.function.Function;
 import java.util.regex.Matcher;
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -100,6 +97,7 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
             Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnChannelMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnChannelMessage(method, annotation, true));
             Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnPrivateMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnPrivateMessage(method, annotation, true));
             Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(OnMessage.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementOnMessage(method, annotation));
+            Optional.ofNullable(method.getAnnotation(Handler.class)).ifPresent(annotation -> implementHandler(method, annotation));
         }
 
         methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getChannelsToJoin",
@@ -123,7 +121,8 @@ public String generateImplementation() {
     private boolean hasIrcServiceAnnotation(Method method) {
         return method.isAnnotationPresent(OnChannelMessage.class)
                 || method.isAnnotationPresent(OnPrivateMessage.class)
-                || method.isAnnotationPresent(OnMessage.class);
+                || method.isAnnotationPresent(OnMessage.class)
+                || method.isAnnotationPresent(Handler.class);
     }
 
     /**
@@ -308,6 +307,39 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
         processorBytecode.returnValue(null);
     }
 
+    private void implementHandler(Method method, Handler handler) {
+        if (method.getParameterCount() != 1) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Handler methods can only take 1 argument!");
+        }
+        Class<?> eventClass = method.getParameterTypes()[0];
+        methodCreator = classCreator.getMethodCreator(getSafeMethodSignature(method) + eventClass.getSimpleName() + "Handler", void.class, eventClass);
+        AnnotationCreator annotationCreator = methodCreator.addAnnotation(Handler.class);
+        annotationCreator.addValue("delivery", handler.delivery());
+        ResultHandle eventResultHandle = methodCreator.getMethodParam(0);
+        ResultHandle ircServiceResultHandle = methodCreator.readInstanceField(ircServiceField, methodCreator.getThis());
+
+        sendResponse(method, methodCreator, ircServiceResultHandle, new ResultHandle[]{ eventResultHandle }, (responseByteCodeCreator, textResultHandle) -> {
+            if (ChannelEvent.class.isAssignableFrom(eventClass)) {
+                ResultHandle channelResultHandle = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelEvent.class, "getChannel", Channel.class),
+                        eventResultHandle);
+                responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Channel.class, "sendMessage", void.class, String.class),
+                        channelResultHandle, textResultHandle);
+            } else if (ActorEvent.class.isAssignableFrom(eventClass)) {
+                ResultHandle actorResultHandle = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
+                        eventResultHandle);
+                ResultHandle client = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
+                        responseByteCodeCreator.getThis());
+                ResultHandle target = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Actor.class, "getName", String.class),
+                        actorResultHandle);
+                responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Client.class, "sendMessage", void.class, String.class, String.class),
+                        client, target, textResultHandle);
+            } else {
+                throw new IllegalStateException("Cannot generate a reply since it not a ChannelEvent or an ActorEvent; use a void return type to observe this event");
+            }
+        });
+        methodCreator.returnValue(null);
+    }
+
     private ImplementedQuery implementQuery(Method method, BytecodeCreator matcherBytecodeCreator, String pattern, boolean createHelp, ResultHandle ircMessageTextResultHandle, BiFunction<BytecodeCreator, Class, Optional<ResultHandle>> additionalMatcherBiFunction) {
 
         FieldDescriptor patternField = classCreator.getFieldCreator(FieldDescriptor.of(classCreator.getClassName(), getSafeMethodSignature(method) + "$pattern", Pattern.class))
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
index dd263beb..b36c4236 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -6,13 +6,13 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
-import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.AdditionalBeanBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.deployment.annotations.BuildProducer;
 import io.quarkus.deployment.annotations.BuildStep;
 import io.quarkus.deployment.builditem.CombinedIndexBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.deployment.builditem.FeatureBuildItem;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import org.jboss.jandex.AnnotationInstance;
 import org.jboss.jandex.ClassInfo;
 import org.jboss.jandex.DotName;
@@ -34,6 +34,8 @@ void createIrcServiceImplementations(
         DotName onChannelMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnChannelMessage.class.getName());
         DotName onPrivateMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnPrivateMessage.class.getName());
         DotName onMessageDotName = DotName.createSimple(OnMessage.class.getName());
+        DotName handlerDotName = DotName.createSimple(Handler.class.getName());
+
         IndexView indexView = combinedIndex.getIndex();
         GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor classOutput = new GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor(generatedBeanConsumer);
 
@@ -54,6 +56,11 @@ void createIrcServiceImplementations(
             classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
         }
 
+        for (AnnotationInstance annotationInstance : indexView
+                .getAnnotations(handlerDotName)) {
+            classWithAnnotations.add(annotationInstance.target().asMethod().declaringClass());
+        }
+
         for (ClassInfo classInfo : classWithAnnotations) {
             try {
                 Class<?> ircServiceClass = Class.forName(classInfo.name().toString(), false, Thread.currentThread().getContextClassLoader());
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
index bf4745be..4a62e24f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ public class ChurchDB
 
     public boolean isTopDonor( String noun )
     {
-        return getDonorRank( noun ).map( rank -> rank.longValue() <= 4 ).orElse( false );
+        return getDonorRank( noun ).map( rank -> rank <= 4 ).orElse( false );
     }
 
     /**
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ public Optional<Long> getDonorKarma( String noun )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getDonorRank( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ).toLong() ).map( rank -> rank
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ) ).map( rank -> rank.toLong()
             + 1 );
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
index dbac56ba..ad3a9d22 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
@@ -13,6 +13,7 @@
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.util.LinkedList;
 import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
 import java.util.Set;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
@@ -59,7 +60,8 @@ public Set<String> getQuotes( String noun )
      */
     public String getRandomQuote( String noun )
     {
-        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun ) ).toString();
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix
+            + noun ) ) ).map( Response::toString ).orElse( null );
     }
 
     /**
@@ -124,7 +126,8 @@ public Set<String> getFacts( String noun )
      */
     public String getRandomFact( String noun )
     {
-        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun ) ).toString();
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfFactSetsPrefix
+            + noun ) ) ).map( Response::toString ).orElse( null );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index 7e8fa962..adbb19d4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -75,22 +75,32 @@ public String karmaIncOrDec( User user, String channelMessage )
         for ( String noun : channelMessage.split( "\\s+" ) )
         {
             Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( noun );
-            if ( userNick.getBaseNick().equals( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
-            {
-                insult = true;
-                continue;
-            }
 
             if ( noun.endsWith( "++" ) )
             {
+                if ( userNick.getBaseNick().equals( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+                {
+                    insult = true;
+                    continue;
+                }
                 karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), 1 );
             }
             else if ( noun.endsWith( "--" ) )
             {
+                if ( userNick.getBaseNick().equals( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+                {
+                    insult = true;
+                    continue;
+                }
                 karmaDB.modNounKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), -1 );
             }
             else if ( noun.endsWith( "+-" ) )
             {
+                if ( userNick.getBaseNick().equals( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+                {
+                    insult = true;
+                    continue;
+                }
                 int karma = randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ? 1 : -1;
                 String reply = nick + " had their karma ";
                 reply += karma == 1 ? "increased" : "decreased";
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1c451d75
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,596 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.QuoteFactDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.IgnoredUsers;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelJoinEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.OutputStream;
+import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.util.Arrays;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.LinkedList;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.function.BiFunction;
+import java.util.function.Function;
+import java.util.regex.Matcher;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+import java.util.regex.PatternSyntaxException;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class QuotesAndFactsService
+{
+    @Inject
+    QuoteFactDB quoteFactDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    IgnoredUsers ignoredUsers;
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    // cache fact and quote dump links
+    private Map<String, String> dumpCache = new HashMap<>();
+
+    // update cache when new quotes/facts added
+    private Map<String, Integer> dumpSize = new HashMap<>();
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.pastebin.api.url" )
+    private String PASTEBIN_API_URL;
+
+    @Handler
+    public String onJoin( ChannelJoinEvent event )
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.getNick( event.getUser() );
+        if ( !ignoredUsers.getOnJoin().contains( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+        {
+            String out;
+            if ( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() )
+            {
+                return replyWithFact( nick.getBaseNick(), event, false );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return replyWithQuote( nick.getBaseNick(), event, false );
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!quoteadd @nick @text" )
+    public String quoteAdd( User senderUser, Nick nick, String text )
+    {
+        return addQuoteOrFact( senderUser, nick, text, "Quotes", ( noun, quote ) -> {
+            quoteFactDB.addQuote( noun, quote );
+            return formatQuoteReply( noun, quote );
+        } );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!factadd @nick @text" )
+    public String factAdd( User senderUser, Nick nick, String text )
+    {
+        return addQuoteOrFact( senderUser, nick, text, "Facts", ( noun, fact ) -> {
+            quoteFactDB.addFact( noun, fact );
+            return formatFactReply( noun, fact );
+        } );
+    }
+
+    private String addQuoteOrFact( User senderUser, Nick nick, String text, String type,
+                                   BiFunction<String, String, String> addToDatabaseAndGetReply )
+    {
+        String noun = nick.getBaseNick();
+        String sender = Nick.getNick( senderUser ).getBaseNick();
+
+        if ( !sender.equals( noun ) )
+        {
+            text = trimChars( text, " '\"" );
+            return addToDatabaseAndGetReply.apply( noun, text );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return type + " from yourself are both terrible and uninteresting.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!factdump @nick" )
+    public String factDump( Nick nick )
+    {
+        return factQuoteDump( nick, quoteFactDB::getFacts, "fact" );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!quotedump @nick" )
+    public String quoteDump( Nick nick )
+    {
+        return factQuoteDump( nick, quoteFactDB::getQuotes, "quote" );
+    }
+
+    String factQuoteDump( Nick queried, Function<String, Set<String>> getData, String type )
+    {
+        Set<String> allFacts = getData.apply( queried.getBaseNick() );
+        if ( allFacts.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            return queried + " has no " + type + "s.";
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            String dumpKey = type + queried;
+            String response;
+            if ( allFacts.size() != dumpSize.getOrDefault( dumpKey, 0 ) )
+            {
+                try
+                {
+                    String title = queried + "'s " + type + "s";
+                    String pasteLink = dumpToPastebin( title, allFacts );
+                    dumpCache.put( dumpKey, pasteLink );
+                    dumpSize.put( dumpKey, allFacts.size() );
+                    response = type + "dump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
+                }
+                catch ( Exception e )
+                {
+                    e.printStackTrace();
+                    response = "Error creating pastebin link";
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                String pasteLink = dumpCache.get( dumpKey );
+                response = type + "dump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
+            }
+            return response;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String dumpToPastebin( String title, Set<String> allQuotes )
+        throws Exception
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        for ( String quote : allQuotes )
+        {
+            sb.append( URLEncoder.encode( quote + "\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) );
+        }
+
+        URL url = new URL( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+        HttpURLConnection conn = (HttpURLConnection) url.openConnection();
+        conn.setDoOutput( true );
+        conn.setRequestMethod( "POST" );
+        conn.setRequestProperty( "Content-Type", "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" );
+        conn.setInstanceFollowRedirects( false );
+        String input = "format=text&code2=" + title + "\n\n" + sb.toString() + "&poster=vilebot&paste=Send&expiry=m";
+
+        OutputStream os = conn.getOutputStream();
+        os.write( input.getBytes() );
+        os.flush();
+        assert conn.getResponseCode() == 302;
+        return conn.getHeaderField( "Location" );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!factrandom5 @queried" )
+    public String factRandomDump( Nick queried )
+    {
+        return factQuoteRandomDump( "fact", queried.getBaseNick() );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!quoterandom5 @queried" )
+    public String quoteRandomDump( Nick queried )
+    {
+        return factQuoteRandomDump( "quote", queried.getBaseNick() );
+    }
+
+    private String factQuoteRandomDump( String mode, String queried )
+    {
+        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
+        {
+            Long factsLength = quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( queried );
+            if ( factsLength == 0 )
+            {
+                return queried + " has no facts.";
+            }
+            else if ( factsLength <= 5 )
+            {
+                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getFacts( queried ) );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getRandomFacts( queried ) );
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            Long quotesLength = quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( queried );
+            if ( quotesLength == 0 )
+            {
+                return queried + " has no quotes.";
+            }
+            else if ( quotesLength <= 5 )
+            {
+                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getQuotes( queried ) );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getRandomQuotes( queried ) );
+            }
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!quotenumber @queried" )
+    public String quoteNum( Nick queried )
+    {
+        return factQuoteNum( "quote", queried.getBaseNick() );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!factnumber @queried" )
+    public String factNum( Nick queried )
+    {
+        return factQuoteNum( "fact", queried.getBaseNick() );
+    }
+
+    private String factQuoteNum( String mode, String queried )
+    {
+        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
+        {
+            Long factsLength = quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( queried );
+            if ( factsLength == 0 )
+            {
+                return queried + " has no facts.";
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return queried + " has " + factsLength + " facts.";
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            Long quotesLength = quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( queried );
+            if ( quotesLength == 0 )
+            {
+                return queried + " has no quotes.";
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return queried + " has " + quotesLength + " quotes.";
+            }
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!fact @nick ?@isJazizify" )
+    public String factQuery( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, Nick nick, @Regex( "!jaziz" ) Optional<String> isJazizify )
+    {
+        return factQuoteQuery( event, "fact", nick.getBaseNick(), isJazizify.isPresent() );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!quote @nick ?@isJazizify" )
+    public String quoteQuery( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, Nick nick, @Regex( "!jaziz" ) Optional<String> isJazizify )
+    {
+        return factQuoteQuery( event, "quote", nick.getBaseNick(), isJazizify.isPresent() );
+    }
+
+    private String factQuoteQuery( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, String mode, String noun, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
+        {
+            String reply = replyWithFact( noun, event, jaziz );
+            if ( reply == null )
+            {
+                return noun + " has no facts.";
+            }
+            return reply;
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            String reply = replyWithQuote( noun, event, jaziz );
+            if ( reply == null )
+            {
+                return noun + " has no quotes.";
+            }
+            return reply;
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!factsearch @nick @regex ?@isJazizify" )
+    public String factSearch( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, Nick nick, @Regex( ".*?" ) String regex,
+                              @Regex( "!jaziz" ) Optional<String> isJazizify )
+    {
+        return factQuoteSearch( event, "fact", nick.getBaseNick(), regex, isJazizify.isPresent() );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!quotesearch @nick @regex ?@isJazizify" )
+    public String quoteSearch( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, Nick nick, @Regex( ".*?" ) String regex,
+                               @Regex( "!jaziz" ) Optional<String> isJazizify )
+    {
+        return factQuoteSearch( event, "quote", nick.getBaseNick(), regex, isJazizify.isPresent() );
+    }
+
+    private String factQuoteSearch( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, String mode, String noun, String regex,
+                                    boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            // Case insensitive added automatically, use (?-i) in a message to re-enable case sensitivity
+            Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile( "(?i)" + regex );
+
+            if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
+            {
+                Set<String> texts = quoteFactDB.getFacts( noun );
+                if ( texts != null )
+                {
+                    String randomMatch = regexSetSearch( texts, pattern );
+                    if ( randomMatch != null )
+                    {
+                        randomMatch = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, randomMatch );
+                        if ( jaziz )
+                        {
+                            try
+                            {
+                                return "Jaziz is not implemented yet";// formatFactReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify(
+                                                                      // randomMatch ) ) );
+                            }
+                            catch ( Exception e )
+                            {
+                                e.printStackTrace();
+                                return "eeeh";
+                            }
+                        }
+                        else
+                        {
+                            return formatFactReply( noun, randomMatch );
+                        }
+                    }
+                    else
+                    {
+                        return noun + " has no matching facts.";
+                    }
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    return noun + " has no facts.";
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                Set<String> texts = quoteFactDB.getQuotes( noun );
+                if ( texts != null )
+                {
+                    String randomMatch = regexSetSearch( texts, pattern );
+                    if ( randomMatch != null )
+                    {
+                        randomMatch = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, randomMatch );
+                        if ( jaziz )
+                        {
+                            try
+                            {
+                                return "Jaziz is not implemented yet";// formatFactReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify(
+                                                                      // randomMatch ) ) );
+                            }
+                            catch ( Exception e )
+                            {
+                                e.printStackTrace();
+                                return "eeeh";
+                            }
+                        }
+                        else
+                        {
+                            return formatQuoteReply( noun, randomMatch );
+                        }
+                    }
+                    else
+                    {
+                        return noun + " has no matching quotes.";
+                    }
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    return noun + " has no quotes.";
+                }
+            }
+        }
+        catch ( PatternSyntaxException e )
+        {
+            return "Syntax error in regex pattern";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String regexSetSearch( Set<String> texts, Pattern pattern )
+    {
+        List<String> matchingTexts = new LinkedList<>();
+
+        for ( String text : texts )
+        {
+            Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher( text );
+            if ( matcher.find() )
+            {
+                matchingTexts.add( text );
+            }
+        }
+
+        int matchCount = matchingTexts.size();
+        if ( matchCount > 0 )
+        {
+            int selection = randomProvider.getRandomInt( matchCount );
+            return matchingTexts.get( selection );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String replyWithFact( String noun, ActorMessageEvent<User> event, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String replyText = getReplyFact( noun, jaziz );
+        if ( replyText != null )
+        {
+            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
+            return formatFactReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String replyWithFact( String noun, ChannelJoinEvent event, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String replyText = getReplyFact( noun, jaziz );
+        if ( replyText != null )
+        {
+            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( (ChannelEvent) event, replyText );
+            return formatFactReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyFact( String noun, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String text = quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( noun );
+        if ( text == null )
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+        if ( jaziz )
+        {
+            try
+            {
+                // TODO: When JazizService is done
+                // text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
+                text = "Jaziz service is not implemented yet";
+            }
+            catch ( Exception e )
+            {
+                text = "eeeh";
+                e.printStackTrace();
+            }
+        }
+        return text;
+    }
+
+    private String formatFactReply( String noun, String fact )
+    {
+        return noun + " " + fact;
+    }
+
+    private String replyWithQuote( String noun, ActorMessageEvent<User> event, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String replyText = getReplyQuote( noun, jaziz );
+        if ( replyText != null )
+        {
+            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
+            return formatQuoteReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String replyWithQuote( String noun, ChannelJoinEvent event, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String replyText = getReplyQuote( noun, jaziz );
+        if ( replyText != null )
+        {
+            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( (ChannelEvent) event, replyText );
+            return formatQuoteReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyQuote( String noun, boolean jaziz )
+    {
+        String text = quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( noun );
+        if ( text == null )
+        {
+            return null;
+        }
+        if ( jaziz )
+        {
+            try
+            {
+                // TODO: When JazizService is done
+                // text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
+                text = "Jaziz service is not implemented yet";
+            }
+            catch ( Exception e )
+            {
+                text = "eeeh";
+                e.printStackTrace();
+            }
+        }
+        return text;
+    }
+
+    private String formatQuoteReply( String noun, String quote )
+    {
+        return noun + " once said, \"" + quote + "\".";
+    }
+
+    private String getTitle( String noun )
+    {
+        if ( churchDB.isTopDonor( noun ) )
+        {
+            String title = churchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
+            if ( title.trim().length() > 0 )
+            {
+                noun = title;
+            }
+        }
+        return noun;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Removes all specified leading and trailing characters in the array charsToRemove.
+     *
+     * @param input The string to process
+     * @param charsToRemove All characters to remove, treated as a set
+     * @return A copy of the input String with the characters removed
+     */
+    private String trimChars( String input, String charsToRemove )
+    {
+        char[] value = input.toCharArray();
+        char[] rmChars = charsToRemove.toCharArray();
+        Arrays.sort( rmChars );
+
+        int len = value.length;
+        int st = 0;
+
+        while ( ( st < len ) && ( Arrays.binarySearch( rmChars, value[st] ) >= 0 ) )
+        {
+            st++;
+        }
+        while ( ( st < len ) && ( Arrays.binarySearch( rmChars, value[len - 1] ) >= 0 ) )
+        {
+            len--;
+        }
+
+        return input.substring( st, len );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..842fd818
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentSkipListSet;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class IgnoredUsers
+{
+    Set<String> onJoin = new ConcurrentSkipListSet<String>();
+
+    Set<String> autoOp = new ConcurrentSkipListSet<String>();
+
+    public Set<String> getOnJoin()
+    {
+        return onJoin;
+    }
+
+    public Set<String> getAutoOp()
+    {
+        return autoOp;
+    }
+
+    public void setOnJoin( Set<String> onJoin )
+    {
+        this.onJoin = onJoin;
+    }
+
+    public void setAutoOp( Set<String> autoOp )
+    {
+        this.autoOp = autoOp;
+    }
+
+    public void addOnJoin( String nick )
+    {
+        onJoin.add( nick );
+    }
+
+    public void addAutoOp( String channel )
+    {
+        autoOp.add( channel );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..33073dd7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
@@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.user.PrivateMessageEvent;
+
+import java.util.Collection;
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.Objects;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+public class MangleNicks
+{
+
+    public static String mangleNicks( ChannelEvent event, String message )
+    {
+        return mangleNicks( event.getChannel().getUsers().stream().map( Nick::getNick ).map( Nick::getFullNick ).collect( Collectors.toList() ),
+                            message );
+    }
+
+    public static String mangleNicks( ActorEvent<User> event, String message )
+    {
+        // Delegate to Channel if possible
+        if ( event instanceof ChannelEvent )
+        {
+            return mangleNicks( (ChannelEvent) event, message );
+        }
+        return mangleNicks( Collections.singleton( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getActor() ).getNick() ), message );
+    }
+
+    private static String mangleNicks( Collection<String> nicks, String message )
+    {
+
+        if ( nicks.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            return message;
+        }
+
+        StringBuilder reply = new StringBuilder();
+        for ( String word : message.split( " " ) )
+        {
+            reply.append( " " );
+            reply.append( inside( nicks, word ) ? mangled( word ) : word );
+        }
+        return reply.toString().trim();
+    }
+
+    private static String mangled( String word )
+    {
+        return new StringBuilder( word ).reverse().toString();
+    }
+
+    private static boolean inside( Collection<String> nicks, String word )
+    {
+        for ( String nick : nicks )
+        {
+            if ( word.contains( nick ) )
+            {
+                return true;
+            }
+        }
+        return false;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 0ec91f90..061159f8 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -8,4 +8,5 @@ vilebot.default.channel=#provinggrounds
 # Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
 vilebot.irc.port=6667
-vilebot.security.secret-key=my-secret-key
\ No newline at end of file
+vilebot.security.secret-key=my-secret-key
+vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
\ No newline at end of file

From 2aa868505bb6776270ee78096d389e588d39105d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2021 21:52:21 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 21/79] Add tweet announcement service

---
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   5 +
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |   2 +-
 .../services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java    | 109 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   8 +-
 4 files changed, 122 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index caa54215..571fb421 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -81,6 +81,11 @@
       <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
       <version>1.8.1</version>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.twitter4j</groupId>
+      <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
+      <version>[4.0,)</version>
+    </dependency>
 
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
index 1c451d75..53c311c9 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ public class QuotesAndFactsService
     private Map<String, Integer> dumpSize = new HashMap<>();
 
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.pastebin.api.url" )
-    private String PASTEBIN_API_URL;
+    String PASTEBIN_API_URL;
 
     @Handler
     public String onJoin( ChannelJoinEvent event )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d23f53e8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,109 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import twitter4j.Status;
+import twitter4j.Twitter;
+import twitter4j.TwitterException;
+import twitter4j.TwitterFactory;
+import twitter4j.User;
+import twitter4j.conf.ConfigurationBuilder;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class UrlTweetAnnouncerService {
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-key" )
+    Optional<String>  consumerKey; // may be known as 'API key'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret" )
+    Optional<String>  consumerSecret; // may be known as 'API secret'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token" )
+    Optional<String>  accessToken; // may be known as 'Access token'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret" )
+    Optional<String> accessTokenSecret; // may be known as 'Access token secret'
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("@message")
+    public String onTwitterUrlMessage( Client client, @Regex("((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:twitter)\\.com)[^ ]*)") String message )
+    {
+        if ( consumerKey.isEmpty() || consumerSecret.isEmpty() || accessToken.isEmpty() || accessTokenSecret.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            return "Sorry, I can't read that tweet because my maintainer is a moron. And I wouldn't want to read it, anyway.";
+        }
+
+        String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( client, message );
+        return "' " + title + " '";
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Accesses the source of a HTML page and looks for a title element
+     *
+     * @param url http tweet String
+     * @return String of text which represents the tweet. Empty if error.
+     */
+    private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( Client client, String url )
+    {
+        String text = "";
+
+        try
+        {
+            new URL( url );
+        }
+        catch ( MalformedURLException x )
+        {
+            // System.err.format("scrapeURLHTMLTitle new URL error: %s%n", x);
+            return text;
+        }
+
+        // split the url into pieces, change the request based on what we have
+        String[] parts = url.split( "/" );
+        int userPosition = 0;
+        long tweetID = 0;
+        for ( int i = 0; i < parts.length; i++ )
+        {
+            if ( parts[i].equals( "twitter.com" ) )
+                userPosition = i + 1;
+            if ( parts[i].equals( "status" ) || parts[i].equals( "statuses" ) )
+                tweetID = Long.valueOf( parts[i + 1] );
+        }
+        if ( userPosition == 0 )
+            return text;
+        else
+        {
+            try
+            {
+                ConfigurationBuilder cb = new ConfigurationBuilder();
+                cb.setDebugEnabled( true ).setOAuthConsumerKey( consumerKey.get() ).setOAuthConsumerSecret( consumerSecret.get() ).setOAuthAccessToken( accessToken.get() ).setOAuthAccessTokenSecret( accessTokenSecret.get() );
+                TwitterFactory tf = new TwitterFactory( cb.build() );
+                Twitter twitter = tf.getInstance();
+                if ( tweetID != 0 ) // tweet of the twitter.com/USERID/status/TWEETID variety
+                {
+                    Status status = twitter.showStatus( tweetID );
+                    return ( status.getUser().getName() + ": " + status.getText() );
+                }
+                else // just the user is given, ie, twitter.com/USERID
+                {
+                    User user = twitter.showUser( parts[userPosition].toString() );
+                    if ( !user.getDescription().isEmpty() ) // the user has a description
+                        return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + " | " + user.getDescription() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'"
+                                + user.getStatus().getText() );
+                    else // the user doesn't have a description, don't print it
+                        return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'" + user.getStatus().getText() );
+
+                }
+            }
+            catch ( TwitterException x )
+            {
+                return client.getNick()
+                        + ": Until my maintainer fixes the API Key, this is the only tweet you're gonna see. U mad, bro?";
+            }
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 061159f8..70fb61d4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -8,5 +8,11 @@ vilebot.default.channel=#provinggrounds
 # Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
 vilebot.irc.port=6667
+
 vilebot.security.secret-key=my-secret-key
-vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
\ No newline at end of file
+
+vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
+vilebot.twitter.consumer-key=
+vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret=
+vilebot.twitter.access-token=
+vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret=
\ No newline at end of file

From 1dfe8f0401807eb8bd58ae14e2ebcb615cead16f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2021 22:00:57 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 22/79] Add twitter correction service to Quarkus
 implementation

---
 .../services/TwitterCorrectionService.java       | 16 ++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..92b7699f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TwitterCorrectionService {
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(".*@twitterCallout.*")
+    public String onTwitterSyntax(@Regex("@(\\S+):?") String twitterCallout) {
+        return "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: "
+                + twitterCallout.substring(1).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z0-9]$", "" ) + ": message";
+    }
+}

From c5848dec7732d3e89933246b0e218003d0ed8751 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2021 23:05:59 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 23/79] Add Jeopardy service to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java |   2 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  11 +
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       | 251 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java |   8 +
 .../vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java      |  26 ++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   3 +-
 6 files changed, 299 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
index ed29bade..9f4c5cdc 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ public Collection<String> getChannel(String channel) {
             return getChannelsToJoin();
         }
         if (channel.startsWith("${")) {
-            String channelSet = ConfigProvider.getConfig().getValue(channel.substring(1, channel.length() - 1), String.class);
+            String channelSet = ConfigProvider.getConfig().getValue(channel.substring(2, channel.length() - 1), String.class);
             return List.of(channelSet.split(","));
         }
         return List.of(channel.split(","));
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 571fb421..47edb0c4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -59,6 +59,10 @@
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-jackson</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-redis-client</artifactId>
@@ -67,6 +71,7 @@
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-elytron-security</artifactId>
     </dependency>
+
     <dependency>
       <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
       <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
@@ -86,6 +91,12 @@
       <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
       <version>[4.0,)</version>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>info.debatty</groupId>
+      <artifactId>java-string-similarity</artifactId>
+      <version>0.17</version>
+      <scope>compile</scope>
+    </dependency>
 
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7087c31a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,251 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.fasterxml.jackson.databind.JsonNode;
+import com.fasterxml.jackson.databind.ObjectMapper;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import info.debatty.java.stringsimilarity.NormalizedLevenshtein;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+@Bot("JeoBot1")
+public class TriviaService {
+    final static String JEOPARDY_CHANNEL = "${vilebot.jeopardy.channel}";
+
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+
+    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
+
+    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
+
+    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
+
+    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
+
+    private static final Integer RECURSION_LIMIT = 10;
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+
+    @Inject
+    ObjectMapper objectMapper;
+
+    TriviaGame game = null;
+    TriviaQuestions triviaQuestions = null;
+    Future<?> timeoutFuture;
+    Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!jeopardy", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL)
+    public String startGame(ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent) {
+        try {
+            gameLock.lock();
+            if (game != null) {
+                return String.join("\n", game.getAlreadyPlayingString());
+            }
+            int tries = 0;
+            while (tries < RECURSION_LIMIT && (triviaQuestions == null || triviaQuestions.isEmpty())) {
+                triviaQuestions = new TriviaQuestions(urlFactory, objectMapper);
+                tries++;
+            }
+            if (triviaQuestions.isEmpty()) {
+                throw new IllegalStateException("Tried (" + tries + ") times, all responses were invalid");
+            }
+            game = new TriviaGame(triviaQuestions.getQuestion());
+            timeoutFuture = timeoutService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
+                try {
+                    gameLock.lock();
+                    game.getTimeoutString().forEach(channelMessageEvent::sendReply);
+                    game = null;
+                    timeoutFuture = null;
+                } finally {
+                    gameLock.unlock();
+                }
+            });
+            return String.join("\n", game.getIntroString());
+        } catch (Exception e) {
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            return "I don't feel like playing.";
+        } finally {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!(whatis|whois) @answer", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL)
+    public String tryAnswer(User answererUser, String answer) {
+        try {
+            gameLock.lock();
+            if (game == null) {
+                game = null;
+                return "No active game. Start a new one with !jeopardy";
+            }
+            String answerer = Nick.getNick(answererUser).getBaseNick();
+            int stakes = game.getStakes();
+            if (game.isCorrect(answer)) {
+                game = null;
+                timeoutFuture.cancel(true);
+                timeoutFuture = null;
+
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answerer, stakes);
+                return String.format("Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answerer, stakes);
+            } else {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answerer, -stakes);
+                return String.format("Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answerer, stakes);
+            }
+        }
+        finally {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static class TriviaQuestions {
+        private static final String API_URL = "http://jservice.io/api/random?count=100";
+
+        private List<TriviaQuestion> triviaQuestionList;
+
+        public TriviaQuestions(URLFactory urlFactory, ObjectMapper objectMapper) throws IOException {
+            JsonNode response = objectMapper.readTree(urlFactory.build(API_URL));
+            triviaQuestionList = new ArrayList<>();
+            response.forEach(questionJson -> {
+                String question = questionJson.get("question").asText().trim();
+                boolean invalid = !questionJson.get("invalid_count").isNull();
+                if (question.equals( "" ) || question.contains( "seen here" ) || invalid) {
+                    return;
+                }
+                String category = questionJson.get( "category" ).get( "title" ).asText();
+                String answer = questionJson.get( "answer" ).asText();
+                int stakes = getStakes( questionJson );
+                triviaQuestionList.add(new TriviaQuestion(stakes, question, answer, category));
+            });
+        }
+
+        public TriviaQuestion getQuestion() {
+            return triviaQuestionList.remove(0);
+        }
+
+        private int getStakes( JsonNode trivia )
+        {
+            if ( trivia.has( "value" ) && !trivia.get( "value" ).isNull() )
+            {
+                return trivia.get( "value" ).intValue() / 100;
+            }
+            return 5;
+        }
+
+        public boolean isEmpty() {
+            return triviaQuestionList.isEmpty();
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static class TriviaQuestion {
+        final int stakes;
+        final String question;
+        final String answer;
+        final String category;
+
+        public TriviaQuestion(int stakes, String question, String answer, String category) {
+            this.stakes = stakes;
+            this.question = question;
+            this.answer = answer;
+            this.category = category;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static class TriviaGame
+    {
+
+        TriviaQuestion triviaQuestion;
+
+        TriviaGame(TriviaQuestion triviaQuestion)
+        {
+            this.triviaQuestion = triviaQuestion;
+        }
+
+        String getQuestion()
+        {
+            return triviaQuestion.question;
+        }
+
+        String getAnswer()
+        {
+            return triviaQuestion.answer;
+        }
+
+        int getStakes()
+        {
+            return triviaQuestion.stakes;
+        }
+
+        private boolean isCorrect( String answer )
+        {
+            String formattedUserAnswer = formatAnswer( answer );
+            String formattedActualAnswer = formatAnswer( triviaQuestion.answer );
+            double distance = new NormalizedLevenshtein().distance( formattedActualAnswer, formattedUserAnswer );
+            return distance < 0.5;
+        }
+
+        private String formatAnswer( String answer )
+        {
+            return answer.toLowerCase().replaceAll( "^the ",
+                    "" ).replaceAll( "^a ",
+                    "" ).replaceAll( "^an ",
+                    "" ).replaceAll( "\\(.*\\)",
+                    "" ).replaceAll( "/.*",
+                    "" ).replaceAll( "&",
+                    "and" ).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z\\d]",
+                    "" );
+        }
+
+        private List<String> getQuestionBlurb()
+        {
+            List<String> questionBlurb = new ArrayList<>();
+            questionBlurb.add( "Your category is: " + RED + triviaQuestion.category + RESET );
+            questionBlurb.add( "For " + GREEN + triviaQuestion.stakes + RESET + " karma:" );
+            questionBlurb.add( BLUE + triviaQuestion.question + RESET );
+            return questionBlurb;
+        }
+
+        List<String> getIntroString()
+        {
+            List<String> introString = new ArrayList<>( getQuestionBlurb() );
+            introString.add( "30 seconds on the clock." );
+            return introString;
+        }
+
+        List<String> getAlreadyPlayingString()
+        {
+            List<String> alreadyPlayingString = new ArrayList<>();
+            alreadyPlayingString.add( "A game is already in session!" );
+            alreadyPlayingString.addAll( getQuestionBlurb() );
+            return alreadyPlayingString;
+        }
+
+        List<String> getTimeoutString()
+        {
+            List<String> timeoutString = new ArrayList<>();
+            timeoutString.add( "Your 30 seconds is up! The answer we were looking for was:" );
+            timeoutString.add( BLUE + triviaQuestion.answer + RESET );
+            return timeoutString;
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..747b6d87
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+
+public interface TimeoutService {
+    Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout);
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..5050c514
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
+import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TimeoutServiceImpl implements TimeoutService {
+    ExecutorService executorService = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
+    @Override
+    public Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout) {
+        return executorService.submit(() -> {
+            try
+            {
+                Thread.sleep( timeoutDuration.toMillis() );
+                onTimeout.run();
+            }
+            catch ( InterruptedException e )
+            {
+                // Do nothing; the task completed normally;
+            }
+        });
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 70fb61d4..26c76867 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 # Public configuration
 vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
-vilebot.default.channel=#provinggrounds
+vilebot.default.channel=#channel
+vilebot.jeopardy.channel=#jeopardy
 
 # Test configuration
 %test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory

From 6a5cd557da66bdf6e866781e87aae2b11c770810 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2021 21:29:08 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 24/79] Add Summon Service to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/SummonService.java       | 36 +++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java   | 31 +++++++++++
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java        | 53 +++++++++++++++++++
 3 files changed, 120 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9f210239
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class SummonService {
+
+    @Inject
+    LimitService limitService;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!summon @nick")
+    public String summonNick(ChannelMessageEvent event, String nick) {
+        Channel channel = event.getChannel();
+        if (channel.getUsers().stream().anyMatch(user ->
+                Nick.valueOf(nick).getBaseNick().equals(Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick()))) {
+            return nick + " is already in the channel.";
+        }
+        try {
+            limitService.addUse(event.getActor());
+            event.getClient().sendMessage(nick, "You are summoned by " +
+                    Nick.getNick(event.getActor()).getBaseNick() + " to join " +
+                    event.getChannel().getMessagingName());
+            return nick + " was invited";
+        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+            return e.getMessage();
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7f274b06
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+import java.time.Duration;
+
+public interface LimitService {
+    void setLimit( int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration timePeriod );
+
+    void addUse(String noun) throws LimitExceededException;
+
+    default void addUse(Nick nick) throws LimitExceededException {
+        addUse(nick.getBaseNick());
+    }
+
+    default void addUse(User user) throws LimitExceededException {
+        addUse(Nick.getNick(user));
+    }
+
+    boolean isAtLimit(String noun);
+
+    default boolean isAtLimit(Nick nick) {
+        return isAtLimit(nick.getBaseNick());
+    }
+
+    default boolean isAtLimit(User user) {
+        return isAtLimit(Nick.getNick(user));
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..28f01f8e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.Dependent;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Timer;
+import java.util.TimerTask;
+import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
+
+@Dependent
+public class LimitServiceImpl implements LimitService {
+
+    private final Map<String, Integer> userToUsageCountMap = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
+
+    private int maxUsesPerPeriod = 2;
+
+    private Duration period = Duration.ofSeconds(300);
+
+    @Override
+    public void setLimit(int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration period) {
+        this.maxUsesPerPeriod = maxUsesPerPeriod;
+        this.period = period;
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public void addUse(String noun) throws LimitExceededException {
+        if (isAtLimit(noun)) {
+            throw new LimitExceededException(noun + " has the maximum uses");
+        }
+
+        userToUsageCountMap.merge(noun, 1, Integer::sum);
+        TimerTask removeUsage = new TimerTask() {
+            @Override
+            public void run() {
+                userToUsageCountMap.computeIfPresent(noun, (key, count) -> {
+                    if (count > 1) {
+                        return count - 1;
+                    }
+                    return null;
+                });
+            }
+        };
+        Timer timer = new Timer();
+        timer.schedule(removeUsage, period.toMillis());
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public boolean isAtLimit(String noun) {
+        int useCount = userToUsageCountMap.getOrDefault(noun, 0);
+        return useCount >= maxUsesPerPeriod;
+    }
+}

From 40099b6eb342da4f314d304efa3f5debfff2a58c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2021 22:01:41 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 25/79] Add Rock Paper Scissors service to Quarkus
 implementation

---
 .../services/RockPaperScissorsService.java    | 288 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |   5 +
 2 files changed, 293 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d68bf38f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,288 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Random;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
+
+/**
+ * Created by Christopher Chianelli on 27/08/17. Thanks to Josh Matsuoka for helping squashing bugs RockPaperScissors
+ * implementation based off of Trivia.java
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class RockPaperScissorsService {
+
+    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
+
+    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
+
+    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
+
+    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
+    RPSGame currentGame;
+
+    @OnMessage("!rpsrules")
+    public void requestRules(ActorEvent<User> event) {
+        for (String message : getRules(event).split("\n")) {
+            event.getActor().sendMessage(message);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!rpscancel")
+    public String cancelGame(User user) {
+        try {
+            gameLock.lock();
+            if (null != currentGame) {
+                String caller = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
+                if ( caller.equals( currentGame.getCaller() ) || caller.equals( currentGame.getDared() ) )
+                {
+                    currentGame = null;
+                    return "RPS game cancelled";
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    return "Only " + currentGame.getCaller() + " or " + currentGame.getDared()
+                            + " can cancel this game.";
+                }
+            } else {
+                return "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared";
+            }
+        } finally {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!rps @dared ?@daredThing")
+    public String startRpsGame(ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick dared, Optional<String> daredThing) {
+        try {
+            gameLock.lock();
+            if (currentGame == null) {
+                String caller = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
+                if ( caller.equals( dared.getBaseNick() ) )
+                {
+                    return "You cannot challenge yourself to a Rock Paper Scissors game!";
+                }
+                if (daredThing.isPresent())
+                {
+                    currentGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), daredThing.get().trim(), event,
+                            randomProvider);
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    currentGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), null, event,
+                            randomProvider );
+                }
+                return currentGame.getRPSIntro() + getSubmissionRuleString( event );
+            } else {
+                return currentGame.alreadyPlaying();
+            }
+        } finally {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnPrivateMessage("!@submission")
+    public String onContestantAnswer(User contestantUser, @Regex("rock|paper|scissors") String submission) {
+        try {
+            gameLock.lock();
+            String contestant = Nick.getNick(contestantUser).getBaseNick();
+            if ( currentGame != null )
+            {
+                try
+                {
+                    boolean endGame = currentGame.setSubmission( contestant, submission );
+                    if ( endGame )
+                    {
+                        currentGame.getEvent().sendReply( currentGame.getRPSOutro() );
+                        currentGame = null;
+                    }
+                    return String.format( "Your submission of %s has been recieved!", submission );
+                }
+                catch ( Exception e )
+                {
+                    e.printStackTrace();
+                    return e.getMessage();
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared [bet]";
+            }
+        } finally {
+            gameLock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getRules( ActorEvent<?> event )
+    {
+        return RED + "RPS RULES: \n" + RESET + "1) Dare someone to play rock paper scissors with you! \n" + RESET
+                + "2) Rock beats scissors, paper beats rocks, and scissors beat paper \n" + "3) Use /msg "
+                + event.getClient().getNick() + " !(rock|paper|scissors) to set your action. Cannot be undone.";
+    }
+
+    private String getSubmissionRuleString( ActorEvent<?> event )
+    {
+        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + event.getClient().getNick() + RED + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                + RESET;
+    }
+
+    private static class RPSGame {
+        private static final String[] answers = { "rock", "paper", "scissors" };
+
+        private String callerNick;
+
+        private String daredNick;
+
+        private String callerAnswer;
+
+        private String daredAnswer;
+
+        private String daredThing;
+
+        private ChannelMessageEvent event;
+
+        Random rand = new Random();
+
+        RPSGame( String callerNick, String daredNick, String daredThing, ChannelMessageEvent event,
+                 RandomProvider randomProvider )
+        {
+            this.callerNick = callerNick;
+            this.daredNick = daredNick;
+            this.callerAnswer = null;
+            this.daredAnswer = null;
+            this.daredThing = daredThing;
+            this.event = event;
+            rand = new Random();
+            if ( daredNick.equals( event.getClient().getNick() ) )
+            {
+                this.daredAnswer = randomProvider.getRandomElement(answers);
+            }
+        }
+
+        private String getCaller()
+        {
+            return callerNick;
+        }
+
+        private String getDared()
+        {
+            return daredNick;
+        }
+
+        private ChannelMessageEvent getEvent()
+        {
+            return event;
+        }
+
+        private String getRPSIntro()
+        {
+            String start = RED + callerNick + " dared " + daredNick + " to a Rock Paper Scissors match";
+            if ( daredThing != null )
+            {
+                return start + " for " + daredThing + "!" + RESET + "\n";
+            }
+            return start + "!" + RESET + "\n";
+        }
+
+        private String getRPSOutro()
+        {
+            String start =
+                    RED + callerNick + " used " + callerAnswer + ", " + daredNick + " used " + daredAnswer + ", ";
+            if ( null != getWinner() )
+            {
+                return start + getWinner() + " wins" + ( ( null != daredThing ) ? " " + daredThing : "" ) + "!";
+            }
+            return start + "no one wins!";
+        }
+
+        private String alreadyPlaying()
+        {
+            return "A current game is already in progress.\n" + getRPSIntro();
+        }
+
+        private boolean setSubmission( String contestant, String answer )
+                throws Exception
+        {
+            if ( contestant.equals( callerNick ) )
+            {
+                if ( null != callerAnswer )
+                {
+                    throw new Exception( "You have already submitted your answer!\n" );
+                }
+                callerAnswer = answer;
+                return null != daredAnswer;
+            }
+            else if ( contestant.equals( daredNick ) )
+            {
+                if ( null != daredAnswer )
+                {
+                    throw new Exception( "You have already submitted your answer!\n" );
+                }
+                daredAnswer = answer;
+                return null != callerAnswer;
+            }
+            throw new Exception( "You are not playing in this RPS game!\n" );
+        }
+
+        private String getWinner()
+        {
+            if ( callerAnswer.equals( daredAnswer ) )
+            {
+                return null;
+            }
+
+            if ( firstBeatsSecond( callerAnswer, daredAnswer ) )
+            {
+                return callerNick;
+            }
+            return daredNick;
+        }
+
+        private String getLoser()
+        {
+            String winner = getWinner();
+            if ( null == winner )
+            {
+                return null;
+            }
+            if ( callerNick.equals( winner ) )
+            {
+                return daredNick;
+            }
+            return callerNick;
+        }
+
+        private static boolean firstBeatsSecond( String first, String second )
+        {
+            if ( first.equals( "rock" ) )
+            {
+                return "scissors".equals( second );
+            }
+            else if ( first.equals( "paper" ) )
+            {
+                return "rock".equals( second );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return "paper".equals( second );
+            }
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
index 131cff93..caabdcf9 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -34,4 +34,9 @@ public <T> T getRandomElement( List<T> list )
     {
         return list.get( getRandomInt( list.size() ) );
     }
+
+    public <T> T getRandomElement( T[] array )
+    {
+        return array[ getRandomInt( array.length ) ];
+    }
 }

From 49554e5a793bf1c5f83974456dcec03f15d23dd2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2021 21:18:02 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 26/79] Strip trailing spaces before checking regex

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java    | 4 ++--
 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 2d5e1ac5..2b16bc5b 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -355,9 +355,9 @@ private ImplementedQuery implementQuery(Method method, BytecodeCreator matcherBy
                     postConstructMethodCreator.load(helpCommandGroup),
                     postConstructMethodCreator.load(getHelpString(method, pattern)));
         }
-
         ResultHandle patternMatcherResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Pattern.class, "matcher", Matcher.class, CharSequence.class),
-                matcherBytecodeCreator.readInstanceField(patternField, matcherBytecodeCreator.getThis()), ircMessageTextResultHandle);
+                matcherBytecodeCreator.readInstanceField(patternField, matcherBytecodeCreator.getThis()),
+                matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "stripTrailing", String.class), ircMessageTextResultHandle));
         ResultHandle matchesResultHandle = matcherBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Matcher.class, "matches", boolean.class),
                 patternMatcherResultHandle);
         BranchResult branchResult = matcherBytecodeCreator.ifFalse(matchesResultHandle);

From cbbab97af4c0320ee835b681644b28ded6650806 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2021 21:51:01 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 27/79] Add RemindMe service to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     | 64 +++++++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java |  2 +
 .../vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java      |  7 ++
 3 files changed, 73 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..13975e9d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class RemindMeService {
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+
+    String BAD_TIME_UNIT = "The time type given is not valid (use d for day, h for hour, m for minute, s for second)";
+
+    Map<String, Integer> userToReminderCount = new HashMap<>();
+
+    @OnMessage("!remindme @message @length ?@timeUnit")
+    public String remindMe(User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex("\\S") String timeUnit) {
+        Duration duration;
+        switch (timeUnit) {
+            case "d": case "D":
+                duration = Duration.ofDays(length);
+                break;
+            case "h": case "H":
+                duration = Duration.ofHours(length);
+                break;
+            case "m": case "M":
+                duration = Duration.ofMinutes(length);
+                break;
+            case "s": case "S":
+                duration = Duration.ofSeconds(length);
+                break;
+            default:
+                return  BAD_TIME_UNIT;
+        }
+
+        final String userKey = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
+        if (userToReminderCount.getOrDefault(userKey, 0) > 10) {
+            return "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one.";
+        }
+
+        // TODO: Persist this in the database in case VileBot is restarted?
+        userToReminderCount.merge(userKey, 1, Integer::sum);
+        timeoutService.onTimeout(duration, () -> {
+            user.sendMessage("This is your reminder that you should: " + message);
+            userToReminderCount.computeIfPresent(userKey, (key, currentCount) -> {
+                if (currentCount == 1) {
+                    return null;
+                }
+                return currentCount - 1;
+            });
+        });
+
+        return "Created reminder for " +  timeoutService.getCurrentDateTime().plus(duration).toString();
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
index 747b6d87..d6514193 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,10 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
 import java.time.Duration;
+import java.time.LocalDateTime;
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
 
 public interface TimeoutService {
+    LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime();
     Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout);
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
index 5050c514..8b5103ea 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import java.time.Duration;
+import java.time.LocalDateTime;
 import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
 import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
@@ -9,6 +10,12 @@
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class TimeoutServiceImpl implements TimeoutService {
     ExecutorService executorService = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
+
+    @Override
+    public LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime() {
+        return LocalDateTime.now();
+    }
+
     @Override
     public Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout) {
         return executorService.submit(() -> {

From a595220eb1188929218c52ae5f3f114bc58a984c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2021 22:54:04 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 28/79] Add OmgwordService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java   |    7 +-
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java      |  215 ++
 .../resources/META-INF/resources/index.html   |  170 -
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |    1 +
 .../src/main/resources/wordlist.txt           | 3100 +++++++++++++++++
 5 files changed, 3321 insertions(+), 172 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
index cc97b7a4..f4d5bd21 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ public class BotStartupService {
     @Inject
     ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
-    public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) {
+    public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) throws InterruptedException {
         Map<String, Client> botNameToClient = new HashMap<>();
         ircServices.stream().forEach(ircService -> {
             Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
@@ -28,6 +28,9 @@ public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) {
             ircService.getChannelsToJoin().forEach(client::addChannel);
             ircService.setBot(client);
         });
-        botNameToClient.values().forEach(Client::connect);
+        for (Client client : botNameToClient.values()) {
+            client.connect();
+            Thread.sleep(1000);
+        }
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a6d101dc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,215 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.BufferedReader;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.io.InputStreamReader;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.HashSet;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Objects;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@Bot("OmgwordBot")
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class OmgwordService {
+
+    final static String OMGWORD_CHANNEL = "${vilebot.omgword.channel}";
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    List<String> wordList;
+    Map<AnagramKey, Set<String>> anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap;
+
+    OmgwordGame currentGame;
+    Lock lock = new ReentrantLock();
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    void buildAnagramKeyToAnswerSetMap() {
+        anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap = new HashMap<>();
+        try (InputStream wordListResource = OmgwordService.class.getResourceAsStream("/wordlist.txt")) {
+            if (wordListResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("File not found");
+            }
+            wordList = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(wordListResource, StandardCharsets.UTF_8))
+                    .lines()
+                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
+
+            for (String word : wordList) {
+                anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.computeIfAbsent(new AnagramKey(word),
+                        (key) -> new HashSet<>()).add(word);
+            }
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open wordlist file: ", e);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!omgword", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL)
+    public String startGame(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
+        try {
+            lock.lock();
+            if (currentGame != null) {
+                return currentGame.getAlreadyPlayingString();
+            }
+            currentGame = new OmgwordGame(event);
+            return currentGame.getIntroString();
+        } finally {
+            lock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!answer @answer", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL)
+    public String onAnswer(User answerer, String answer) {
+        try {
+            lock.lock();
+
+            if (currentGame == null) {
+                return "No active game. Start a new one with !omgword";
+            }
+
+            Nick answererNick = Nick.getNick(answerer);
+            if (currentGame.isCorrect(answer)) {
+                String out = String.format( "Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answererNick.getFullNick(),
+                        currentGame.getStakes() );
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answererNick.getBaseNick(), currentGame.getStakes());
+                currentGame.cancelTimeout();
+                currentGame = null;
+                return out;
+            } else {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answererNick.getBaseNick(), -currentGame.getStakes());
+                return String.format( "Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answererNick.getFullNick(),
+                        currentGame.getStakes() );
+            }
+        } finally {
+            lock.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    private class OmgwordGame
+    {
+        AnagramKey anagramKey;
+        String scrambled;
+        Future<?> timeoutHandler;
+
+        public OmgwordGame(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
+            String word = randomProvider.getRandomElement(wordList);
+            anagramKey = new AnagramKey(word);
+            scrambled = word;
+
+            while ( anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey).contains(scrambled) ) {
+                scrambled = scrambleWord(scrambled);
+            }
+
+            timeoutHandler = timeoutService.onTimeout(Duration.ofSeconds(30), () -> {
+                try {
+                    lock.lock();
+                    event.sendReply(getTimeoutString());
+                    currentGame = null;
+                } finally {
+                    lock.unlock();
+                }
+            });
+        }
+
+        public void cancelTimeout() {
+            timeoutHandler.cancel(true);
+        }
+
+        String getAlreadyPlayingString()
+        {
+            return "A game is already in progress! Your word is: " + scrambled;
+        }
+
+        String getIntroString()
+        {
+            return "Welcome to omgword!\nFor " + getStakes() + " karma:\n" + scrambled +
+                    "\n30 seconds on the clock.";
+        }
+
+        boolean isCorrect( String answer )
+        {
+            return anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey).contains(answer);
+        }
+
+        String getTimeoutString()
+        {
+            Set<String> possibleAnswers = anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey);
+            String answerPlural = possibleAnswers.size() == 1? "answer was: " : "answers were: ";
+            return "Game over! The correct " + answerPlural + String.join(", ", anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey));
+        }
+
+        int getStakes()
+        {
+            return (int) Math.ceil( scrambled.length() >> 1 );
+        }
+
+        public String scrambleWord(String word) {
+            StringBuilder newWord = new StringBuilder();
+            StringBuilder remaining = new StringBuilder(word);
+            for (int i = 0; i < word.length(); i++) {
+                int pickedCharIndex = randomProvider.getRandomInt(remaining.length());
+                newWord.append(remaining.charAt(pickedCharIndex));
+                remaining.deleteCharAt(pickedCharIndex);
+            }
+            return newWord.toString();
+        }
+    }
+
+    public static final class AnagramKey {
+        final String lettersSorted;
+
+        public AnagramKey(String word) {
+            lettersSorted = word.chars()
+                .sorted()
+                .collect(StringBuilder::new,
+                         StringBuilder::appendCodePoint,
+                         StringBuilder::append)
+                .toString();
+        }
+
+        public String getLettersSorted() {
+            return lettersSorted;
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public boolean equals(Object o) {
+            if (this == o)
+                return true;
+            if (o == null || getClass() != o.getClass())
+                return false;
+            AnagramKey that = (AnagramKey) o;
+            return Objects.equals(lettersSorted, that.lettersSorted);
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public int hashCode() {
+            return Objects.hash(lettersSorted);
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
deleted file mode 100644
index 8266abed..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,170 +0,0 @@
-<!DOCTYPE html>
-<html lang="en">
-<head>
-    <meta charset="UTF-8">
-    <title>code-with-quarkus - 1.0.0-SNAPSHOT</title>
-    <style>
-        h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6 {
-            margin-bottom: 0.5rem;
-            font-weight: 400;
-            line-height: 1.5;
-        }
-
-        h1 {
-            font-size: 2.5rem;
-        }
-
-        h2 {
-            font-size: 2rem
-        }
-
-        h3 {
-            font-size: 1.75rem
-
-        }
-
-        h4 {
-            font-size: 1.5rem
-        }
-
-        h5 {
-            font-size: 1.25rem
-        }
-
-        h6 {
-            font-size: 1rem
-        }
-
-        .lead {
-            font-weight: 300;
-            font-size: 2rem;
-        }
-
-        .banner {
-            font-size: 2.7rem;
-            margin: 0;
-            padding: 2rem 1rem;
-            background-color: #0d1c2c;
-            color: white;
-        }
-
-        body {
-            margin: 0;
-            font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Noto Color Emoji";
-        }
-
-        code {
-            font-family: SFMono-Regular, Menlo, Monaco, Consolas, "Liberation Mono", "Courier New", monospace;
-            font-size: 87.5%;
-            color: #e83e8c;
-            word-break: break-word;
-        }
-
-        .left-column {
-            padding: .75rem;
-            max-width: 75%;
-            min-width: 55%;
-        }
-
-        .right-column {
-            padding: .75rem;
-            max-width: 25%;
-        }
-
-        .container {
-            display: flex;
-            width: 100%;
-        }
-
-        li {
-            margin: 0.75rem;
-        }
-
-        .right-section {
-            margin-left: 1rem;
-            padding-left: 0.5rem;
-        }
-
-        .right-section h3 {
-            padding-top: 0;
-            font-weight: 200;
-        }
-
-        .right-section ul {
-            border-left: 0.3rem solid #71aeef;
-            list-style-type: none;
-            padding-left: 0;
-        }
-
-        .example-code {
-            border-left: 0.3rem solid #71aeef;
-            padding-left: 10px;
-        }
-
-        .example-code h3 {
-            font-weight: 200;
-        }
-    </style>
-</head>
-<body>
-
-<div class="banner lead">
-    Your new Cloud-Native application is ready!
-</div>
-
-<div class="container">
-    <div class="left-column">
-        <p class="lead"> Congratulations, you have created a new Quarkus cloud application.</p>
-
-        <h2>What is this page?</h2>
-
-        <p>This page is served by Quarkus. The source is in
-            <code>src/main/resources/META-INF/resources/index.html</code>.</p>
-
-        <h2>What are your next steps?</h2>
-
-        <p>If not already done, run the application in <em>dev mode</em> using: <code>./mvnw compile quarkus:dev</code>.
-        </p>
-        <ul>
-            <li>Your static assets are located in <code>src/main/resources/META-INF/resources</code>.</li>
-            <li>Configure your application in <code>src/main/resources/application.properties</code>.</li>
-            <li>Quarkus now ships with a <a href="/q/dev/">Dev UI</a> (available in dev mode only)</li>
-            <li>Play with the getting started example code located in <code>src/main/java</code>:</li>
-        </ul>
-                <div class="example-code">
-            <h3>RESTEasy JAX-RS example</h3>
-            <p>REST is easy peasy with this Hello World RESTEasy resource.</p>
-            <p><code>@Path: <a href="/hello-resteasy" class="path-link" target="_blank">/hello-resteasy</a></code></p>
-            <p><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started#the-jax-rs-resources" class="guide-link" target="_blank">Related guide section...</a></p>
-        </div>
-
-    </div>
-    <div class="right-column">
-        <div class="right-section">
-            <h3>Application</h3>
-            <ul>
-                <li>GroupId: <code>org.acme</code></li>
-                <li>ArtifactId: <code>code-with-quarkus</code></li>
-                <li>Version: <code>1.0.0-SNAPSHOT</code></li>
-                <li>Quarkus Version: <code>1.13.2.Final</code></li>
-            </ul>
-        </div>
-        <div class="right-section">
-            <h3>Do you like Quarkus?</h3>
-            <ul>
-                <li>Go give it a star on <a href="https://github.com/quarkusio/quarkus">GitHub</a>.</li>
-            </ul>
-        </div>
-        <div class="right-section">
-            <h3>More reading</h3>
-            <ul>
-                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/maven-tooling.html" target="_blank">Setup your IDE</a></li>
-                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started.html" target="_blank">Getting started</a></li>
-                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io/guides/" target="_blank">All guides</a></li>
-                <li><a href="https://quarkus.io" target="_blank">Quarkus Web Site</a></li>
-            </ul>
-        </div>
-    </div>
-</div>
-</body>
-</html>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 26c76867..b77115d1 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
 vilebot.default.channel=#channel
 vilebot.jeopardy.channel=#jeopardy
+vilebot.omgword.channel=#omgword
 
 # Test configuration
 %test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3cce217e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3100 @@
+ability
+able
+abnormal
+about
+above
+absence
+absolutely
+academic
+academy
+accent
+accept
+acceptable
+access
+accessible
+accident
+accidentally
+accommodate
+accompanied
+accompany
+accomplish
+according
+account
+accumulate
+accuracy
+achieve
+achievement
+acid
+acknowledgment
+acquaintance
+acquire
+acquitted
+across
+action
+active
+activity
+actress
+actual
+actually
+adapt
+adapter
+addition
+additional
+address
+adjustment
+administration
+admission
+admit
+adolescent
+adopt
+adult
+advance
+advantage
+adventure
+advertisement
+advice
+advise
+advised
+advisor
+affair
+affect
+affected
+affectionate
+afford
+afraid
+africa
+african
+after
+afternoon
+afterwards
+again
+against
+agency
+agent
+aggravate
+aggressive
+agree
+agreement
+ahead
+aircraft
+airline
+airplane
+airport
+alarm
+alcohol
+alive
+allotted
+allow
+allusion
+almost
+alone
+along
+already
+alright
+also
+alternative
+although
+aluminium
+aluminum
+always
+amateur
+ambitious
+america
+american
+americanize
+among
+amongst
+amount
+amusement
+analysis
+ancient
+angel
+anger
+angle
+angry
+animal
+anniversary
+announce
+announcement
+announcer
+annual
+another
+answer
+anybody
+anyone
+anything
+anyway
+apart
+apartment
+apparatus
+apparent
+apparently
+appeal
+appear
+appearance
+apple
+application
+apply
+appoint
+appointment
+appointments
+approach
+appropriate
+approval
+approve
+april
+arch
+area
+argue
+argument
+arise
+arive
+arms
+army
+around
+arrange
+arrangement
+arrive
+article
+artist
+aspect
+assembly
+assess
+assessment
+asset
+assist
+assistance
+assistant
+associate
+association
+assume
+assumption
+atmosphere
+attach
+attack
+attempt
+attend
+attention
+attitude
+attract
+attraction
+attractive
+auction
+audience
+august
+aunt
+australia
+author
+authority
+automatic
+automation
+available
+average
+avoid
+awake
+award
+aware
+away
+baby
+back
+background
+balance
+ball
+balloon
+band
+bank
+banker
+banking
+bargain
+barrier
+base
+basic
+basin
+basis
+basket
+bath
+bathroom
+batter
+batting
+battle
+beach
+beam
+bean
+bear
+beat
+beautiful
+beauty
+became
+because
+become
+bedroom
+been
+beer
+before
+began
+begin
+beginner
+beginning
+behaviour
+beholder
+behind
+being
+belief
+believe
+bell
+belong
+below
+belt
+bench
+beneath
+benefit
+bent
+berry
+beside
+best
+better
+between
+beyond
+bible
+bicycle
+bike
+bill
+bind
+binder
+biotechnology
+bird
+birth
+birthday
+bite
+bitter
+black
+blade
+blank
+blanket
+blind
+block
+blood
+bloody
+blow
+blue
+board
+boat
+body
+boil
+boiler
+boiling
+bolt
+bond
+bone
+bonus
+book
+books
+bookstore
+boom
+boot
+border
+borderline
+born
+borrow
+boss
+both
+bottle
+bottleneck
+bottom
+bound
+bowl
+boyish
+boys
+brain
+brake
+branch
+brand
+brass
+bread
+break
+breakfast
+breath
+brick
+bridge
+brief
+briefing
+bright
+bring
+broad
+broke
+broken
+brother
+brothers
+brought
+brown
+brush
+bucket
+budget
+build
+builder
+building
+built
+bujilt
+bulb
+burn
+burner
+burst
+business
+businessman
+businesswoman
+busy
+butter
+butterfly
+button
+byebye
+cabinet
+cable
+cake
+calendar
+call
+came
+camera
+cameraman
+camp
+campaign
+canada
+canadian
+cancel
+candidate
+candle
+canvas
+capable
+capacity
+capital
+capitol
+captain
+carbon
+card
+care
+career
+careful
+carefully
+carpet
+carriage
+carry
+cart
+case
+cash
+cashing
+cassette
+cast
+casting
+casual
+catalog
+catalogue
+catch
+catcher
+catching
+category
+catholic
+cats
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+reduce
+reduction
+refer
+reference
+referred
+referring
+reflect
+reform
+refresh
+refuse
+regard
+region
+regional
+regret
+regular
+regulation
+reject
+relate
+relation
+relationship
+relative
+relatively
+relax
+relaxing
+release
+relevant
+relief
+relieve
+religion
+religious
+rely
+remain
+remake
+remember
+remembrance
+remind
+remove
+renewal
+rent
+rental
+repeat
+repetition
+replace
+replay
+reply
+report
+reporter
+represent
+representation
+representative
+reprint
+reproduce
+request
+require
+requirement
+research
+reset
+resort
+resource
+respect
+respond
+response
+responsibility
+responsible
+rest
+restaurant
+restructuring
+result
+resume
+retain
+retire
+return
+reveal
+revenge
+revenue
+reversible
+review
+revival
+revolution
+reward
+rhythm
+rhythmical
+ribbon
+rice
+rich
+ridden
+ride
+ridiculous
+right
+ring
+rise
+rising
+risk
+rival
+river
+road
+rock
+role
+roll
+roller
+roman
+romance
+romantic
+romanticist
+rome
+roof
+room
+roommate
+root
+roots
+rope
+rough
+round
+route
+royal
+royalty
+rubber
+rule
+runner
+running
+rural
+rush
+russia
+sacrifice
+safe
+safety
+said
+sail
+sailor
+saint
+salary
+sale
+sales
+salmon
+salt
+same
+sample
+sand
+sandwich
+satellite
+satisfy
+saturday
+save
+scale
+scan
+scandal
+scandalous
+scene
+schedule
+scheme
+school
+science
+scientific
+scientist
+scissors
+score
+scrap
+scratch
+screen
+screw
+seal
+search
+seaside
+season
+seat
+second
+secondary
+secret
+secretary
+section
+sector
+secure
+security
+seed
+seek
+seem
+seen
+seize
+select
+selection
+self
+sell
+send
+senior
+sensational
+sense
+sensitive
+sensor
+sent
+sentence
+sentimental
+separate
+september
+sequence
+sergeant
+series
+serious
+seriously
+servant
+serve
+service
+session
+setting
+settle
+settlement
+seven
+seventeen
+several
+severe
+severely
+sexual
+sexuality
+sexy
+shade
+shadow
+shake
+shaker
+shall
+shame
+shape
+share
+sharing
+sharp
+sheep
+sheet
+sheets
+shelf
+sheriff
+shift
+shine
+shining
+ship
+shirt
+shirts
+shock
+shocking
+shoe
+shoes
+shoot
+shop
+shopping
+shore
+short
+shortcut
+shot
+should
+shoulder
+shout
+show
+showcase
+shower
+shown
+showroom
+shut
+shutter
+sick
+side
+sight
+sign
+signal
+significance
+significant
+silence
+silencer
+silent
+silk
+silver
+similar
+simple
+simply
+since
+sincerely
+sing
+singer
+single
+sink
+sister
+sisters
+site
+situation
+size
+sketch
+sketchbook
+skiing
+skill
+skin
+skirt
+sleep
+sleeve
+slept
+slice
+slide
+sliding
+slightly
+slim
+slip
+slope
+slow
+slowly
+small
+smart
+smash
+smell
+smile
+smoke
+smooth
+smooths
+snake
+snap
+sneeze
+snow
+soap
+social
+society
+sock
+soft
+software
+soil
+sold
+soldier
+solicitor
+solid
+solution
+some
+somebody
+someone
+something
+sometimes
+somewhat
+somewhere
+song
+songwriter
+soon
+sophomore
+sorry
+sort
+soul
+sound
+sounds
+soup
+source
+south
+southern
+soviet
+space
+spade
+spain
+spare
+speak
+speaker
+speaking
+special
+specialist
+speciality
+species
+specific
+specimen
+spectacle
+speech
+speed
+speedup
+speedy
+spell
+spend
+spent
+spin
+spirit
+spirits
+spirituality
+split
+spoke
+sponge
+sponsor
+spoon
+sport
+sports
+spot
+spotlight
+spread
+spring
+square
+staff
+stage
+stake
+stamp
+stand
+standard
+standing
+star
+start
+state
+statement
+station
+status
+stay
+steal
+steam
+steel
+stem
+step
+stewardess
+stick
+sticker
+sticky
+stiff
+still
+stitch
+stock
+stocking
+stomach
+stone
+stood
+stop
+store
+stories
+storm
+story
+straight
+strange
+stranger
+strategy
+straw
+stream
+street
+strength
+stress
+stretch
+stretching
+strict
+strike
+strip
+stripper
+strips
+strong
+strongly
+structure
+stubbornness
+student
+studio
+study
+studying
+stuff
+style
+stylebook
+styling
+stylish
+stylist
+subject
+subleader
+substance
+substantial
+subtitle
+subtlety
+succeed
+success
+successful
+succession
+such
+sudden
+suddenly
+suffer
+sufficient
+sugar
+suggest
+suggestion
+suicide
+suit
+suitable
+suite
+summary
+summer
+summertime
+sunday
+sunshine
+superintendent
+supermarket
+supersede
+supplement
+supply
+support
+supporter
+suppose
+suppress
+sure
+surely
+surface
+surprise
+surround
+survey
+survival
+survive
+susceptible
+suspenders
+suspense
+suspicious
+sweet
+swim
+swimming
+swing
+swiss
+switch
+switching
+symbol
+sympathize
+system
+systems
+table
+tackle
+tail
+take
+taken
+takeout
+talent
+talk
+tall
+tape
+target
+task
+taste
+taxi
+teach
+teacher
+teaching
+team
+tear
+tearing
+technical
+technician
+technique
+technology
+teenager
+telephone
+television
+tell
+temperament
+temperature
+tend
+tendency
+tennis
+tension
+tent
+term
+terms
+terrace
+terrible
+territory
+terror
+terrorism
+terrorist
+test
+text
+textbook
+than
+thank
+thanks
+that
+theater
+theatre
+their
+them
+theme
+themselves
+then
+theory
+there
+therefore
+these
+they
+thick
+thin
+thing
+think
+third
+thirteen
+this
+thorough
+those
+though
+thought
+thousand
+thread
+threat
+threaten
+three
+threw
+throat
+through
+throughout
+throw
+thrown
+thumb
+thunder
+thus
+ticket
+ticketless
+tiger
+tight
+till
+time
+timely
+timer
+times
+timetable
+timing
+tiny
+tire
+tired
+tissue
+title
+tobacco
+today
+together
+toilet
+told
+tomorrow
+tone
+tongue
+tonight
+took
+tool
+tooth
+topic
+topics
+topless
+topping
+tore
+total
+totally
+touch
+touching
+tough
+tought
+tour
+touring
+tourist
+tournament
+toward
+towards
+tower
+towers
+town
+trace
+track
+trade
+trademark
+tradition
+traditional
+traffic
+trafficked
+tragedy
+train
+trainer
+training
+transfer
+transferred
+transport
+trap
+travel
+traveler
+traveling
+tray
+treasure
+treat
+treatment
+treaty
+tree
+tremendous
+trend
+trial
+triangle
+trick
+tried
+tries
+trip
+troop
+trouble
+trousers
+truck
+true
+truly
+trunk
+trust
+truth
+tube
+tuesday
+tuning
+tunnel
+turn
+twelfth
+twelve
+twenty
+twice
+twin
+twist
+type
+typewriter
+typical
+typing
+typist
+tyranny
+tyre
+umbrella
+unable
+unanimous
+unbalance
+uncle
+unconscious
+under
+underline
+understand
+understanding
+understood
+undertake
+undoubtedly
+unemployment
+unfortunately
+uniform
+union
+unique
+unit
+unite
+united
+universal
+universe
+university
+unless
+unlikely
+unmistakably
+unnecessary
+until
+upon
+upper
+urban
+usage
+used
+useful
+useless
+user
+using
+usual
+usually
+vacuum
+valley
+valuable
+value
+variation
+varies
+variety
+various
+vary
+vast
+vegetable
+vehicle
+vengeance
+venomous
+verse
+version
+very
+vessel
+vice
+victim
+victory
+video
+view
+vigilance
+village
+villain
+violence
+violent
+virgin
+visible
+vision
+visit
+visitor
+visual
+vital
+vitality
+vitamins
+voice
+volume
+volunteer
+vote
+wage
+wagon
+wait
+waiter
+waiting
+waitress
+waive
+walk
+walking
+wall
+want
+warm
+warn
+warrant
+warring
+wash
+washable
+waste
+wasting
+watch
+watching
+water
+wave
+weak
+weapon
+wear
+weather
+wedding
+wedge
+wednesday
+week
+weekend
+weekly
+weight
+weird
+welcome
+welfare
+well
+went
+were
+west
+western
+what
+whatever
+wheat
+wheel
+when
+where
+whereas
+wherever
+whether
+which
+whichever
+while
+whilst
+whip
+whistle
+white
+whitecollar
+whole
+wholly
+whom
+whose
+wide
+widely
+wield
+wife
+wild
+will
+wind
+window
+windows
+windowshopping
+wine
+wineglass
+wing
+wings
+winner
+wins
+winter
+wintry
+wiper
+wire
+wireless
+wise
+wish
+with
+withdraw
+withdrawal
+within
+without
+woman
+women
+wonder
+wonderful
+wood
+wool
+word
+wore
+work
+worker
+working
+works
+workshop
+world
+worm
+worn
+worry
+worshiped
+worth
+would
+wound
+wrap
+wrapping
+wreck
+write
+writer
+writing
+written
+wrong
+wrote
+yard
+yeah
+year
+yellow
+yesterday
+yield
+young
+your
+yourself
+youth
+zero
+zone
\ No newline at end of file

From 61a4420c67ab43aa8ab5cbaaeb95471d3781ce9e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 20 Jun 2021 22:55:17 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 29/79] Add old header comment to OmgwordService

---
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java     | 3 +++
 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+)

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
index a6d101dc..3e2ae38a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
@@ -29,6 +29,9 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
+/**
+ * Based off of the omgword game from CasinoBot: http://casinobot.codeplex.com/
+ */
 @Bot("OmgwordBot")
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class OmgwordService {

From 34555354d25a070ab15fb2e6bf679e26e2180698 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2021 18:48:02 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 30/79] Add Markov commands

---
 .../vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java   |  23 ++++
 .../vilebot/services/MarkovService.java       |  73 +++++++++++++
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java | 103 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   1 +
 4 files changed, 200 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9780795f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+/**
+ * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ChatLoggerService {
+
+    @Inject
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(value = "@message", channel = "${vilebot.markov.channel}")
+    public void logMessage(@Regex("[^!].*") String message) {
+        logDB.addItem(message + "\n");
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e7873a00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Zalgo;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+/**
+ * Created by emmett on 12/08/15.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class MarkovService {
+
+    @Inject
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @OnMessage("!speak")
+    public String speak() {
+        return generatePhase();
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!gospel")
+    public String gospel() {
+        return Zalgo.generate(generatePhase());
+    }
+
+    private String generatePhase() {
+        Map<String, List<String>> markovMatrix = getMarkovMatrix();
+        List<String> keyList = new ArrayList<>(markovMatrix.keySet());
+        String key = randomProvider.getRandomElement(keyList);
+        StringBuilder phrase = new StringBuilder();
+        while (key != null && phrase.length() < 1000) {
+            phrase.append( key ).append( " " );
+            if (shouldEnd(key)) {
+                break;
+            }
+            List<String> afterKeyList = markovMatrix.get(key);
+            if (afterKeyList == null) {
+                break;
+            }
+            key = randomProvider.getRandomElement(afterKeyList);
+        }
+        return phrase.toString().replace('\n', ' ');
+    }
+
+    private boolean shouldEnd(String key) {
+        return key.endsWith( "!" ) || key.endsWith( "?" ) || key.endsWith( "." );
+    }
+
+    private Map<String, List<String>> getMarkovMatrix() {
+        Map<String, List<String>> markovMatrix = new HashMap<>();
+        String[] words = logDB.getLog().split("\\s");
+        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length - 3; i++ ) {
+            String key = words[i] + " " + words[i + 1];
+            String value = words[i + 2] + " " + words[i + 3];
+            if (key.equals(value)) {
+                continue;
+            }
+            markovMatrix.computeIfAbsent(key, k -> new ArrayList<>()).add(value);
+        }
+        return markovMatrix;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4b593a6b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java
@@ -0,0 +1,103 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.util.Random;
+
+/*
+ * A modified version of the Zalgo generator found at:
+ * https://github.com/tomauty/ZalgoTextGenerator
+ */
+
+public class Zalgo
+{
+
+    private static final float Z_RATE = 0.9f;
+
+    private static final Random rand = new Random();
+
+    private static final char[] DIAS = { '\u030d', /* ̍ */ '\u030e', /* ̎ */
+        '\u0304', /* ̄ */ '\u0305', /* ̅ */
+        '\u033f', /* ̿ */ '\u0311', /* ̑ */
+        '\u0306', /* ̆ */ '\u0310', /* ̐ */
+        '\u0352', /* ͒ */ '\u0357', /* ͗ */
+        '\u0351', /* ͑ */ '\u0307', /* ̇ */
+        '\u0308', /* ̈ */ '\u030a', /* ̊ */
+        '\u0342', /* ͂ */ '\u0343', /* ̓ */
+        '\u0344', /* ̈ ́ */ '\u034a', /* ͊ */
+        '\u034b', /* ͋ */ '\u034c', /* ͌ */
+        '\u0303', /* ̃ */ '\u0302', /* ̂ */
+        '\u030c', /* ̌ */ '\u0350', /* ͐ */
+        '\u0300', /* ̀ */ '\u0301', /* ́ */
+        '\u030b', /* ̋ */ '\u030f', /* ̏ */
+        '\u0312', /* ̒ */ '\u0313', /* ̓ */
+        '\u0314', /* ̔ */ '\u033d', /* ̽ */
+        '\u0309', /* ̉ */ '\u0363', /* ͣ */
+        '\u0364', /* ͤ */ '\u0365', /* ͥ */
+        '\u0366', /* ͦ */ '\u0367', /* ͧ */
+        '\u0368', /* ͨ */ '\u0369', /* ͩ */
+        '\u036a', /* ͪ */ '\u036b', /* ͫ */
+        '\u036c', /* ͬ */ '\u036d', /* ͭ */
+        '\u036e', /* ͮ */ '\u036f', /* ͯ */
+        '\u033e', /* ̾ */ '\u035b', /* ͛ */
+        '\u0346', /* ͆ */ '\u031a', /* ̚ */
+        '\u0316', /* ̖ */ '\u0317', /* ̗ */
+        '\u0318', /* ̘ */ '\u0319', /* ̙ */
+        '\u031c', /* ̜ */ '\u031d', /* ̝ */
+        '\u031e', /* ̞ */ '\u031f', /* ̟ */
+        '\u0320', /* ̠ */ '\u0324', /* ̤ */
+        '\u0325', /* ̥ */ '\u0326', /* ̦ */
+        '\u0329', /* ̩ */ '\u032a', /* ̪ */
+        '\u032b', /* ̫ */ '\u032c', /* ̬ */
+        '\u032d', /* ̭ */ '\u032e', /* ̮ */
+        '\u032f', /* ̯ */ '\u0330', /* ̰ */
+        '\u0331', /* ̱ */ '\u0332', /* ̲ */
+        '\u0333', /* ̳ */ '\u0339', /* ̹ */
+        '\u033a', /* ̺ */ '\u033b', /* ̻ */
+        '\u033c', /* ̼ */ '\u0345', /* ͅ */
+        '\u0347', /* ͇ */ '\u0348', /* ͈ */
+        '\u0349', /* ͉ */ '\u034d', /* ͍ */
+        '\u034e', /* ͎ */ '\u0353', /* ͓ */
+        '\u0354', /* ͔ */ '\u0355', /* ͕ */
+        '\u0356', /* ͖ */ '\u0359', /* ͙ */
+        '\u035a', /* ͚ */ '\u0323', /* ̣ */
+        '\u0315', /* ̕ */ '\u031b', /* ̛ */
+        '\u0340', /* ̀ */ '\u0341', /* ́ */
+        '\u0358', /* ͘ */ '\u0321', /* ̡ */
+        '\u0322', /* ̢ */ '\u0327', /* ̧ */
+        '\u0328', /* ̨ */ '\u0334', /* ̴ */
+        '\u0335', /* ̵ */ '\u0336', /* ̶ */
+        '\u034f', /* ͏ */ '\u035c', /* ͜ */
+        '\u035d', /* ͝ */ '\u035e', /* ͞ */
+        '\u035f', /* ͟ */ '\u0360', /* ͠ */
+        '\u0362', /* ͢ */ '\u0338', /* ̸ */
+        '\u0337', /* ̷ */ '\u0361', /* ͡ */
+        '\u0489' /* ҉_ */
+    };
+
+    public static String generate( String source )
+    {
+        StringBuilder result = new StringBuilder();
+        for ( int i = 0; i < source.length(); i++ )
+        {
+            char character = source.charAt( i );
+            result.append( getZalgo( character ) );
+        }
+
+        return result.toString();
+    }
+
+    private static String getZalgo( char c )
+    {
+        if ( rand.nextFloat() < Z_RATE )
+        {
+            return c + randomDia();
+        }
+        return "" + c;
+    }
+
+    private static String randomDia()
+    {
+        int index = rand.nextInt( DIAS.length );
+        return "" + DIAS[index];
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index b77115d1..80e04757 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
 vilebot.default.channel=#channel
 vilebot.jeopardy.channel=#jeopardy
 vilebot.omgword.channel=#omgword
+vilebot.markov.channel=${vilebot.default.channel}
 
 # Test configuration
 %test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory

From 2bf7072550332ac1ece3b1ab06037d234fad4232 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2021 19:57:27 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 31/79] Add News and Fake News services to Quarkus
 implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/NewsService.java         | 324 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java     |  66 ++++
 2 files changed, 390 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..512f67fa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,324 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
+import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.FeedException;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.SyndFeedInput;
+import com.sun.syndication.io.XmlReader;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Objects;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class NewsService {
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @Inject
+    LimitService newsLimit;
+
+    @Inject
+    LimitService fakeNewsLimit;
+
+    Map<String, NewsChannel> fakeNewsFeedsByCategory = new LinkedHashMap<>();
+    Map<String, NewsChannel> newsFeedsByCategory = new LinkedHashMap<>();
+
+    private static final String DEFAULT_NEWS_CATEGORY = "toronto";
+    private static final String DEFAULT_FAKE_NEWS_CATEGORY = "canada";
+    int NUM_HEADLINES = 3;
+    
+    private NewsChannel getNewsChannel(String genre, String url) {
+        try {
+            return new NewsChannel(genre, urlFactory.build(url));
+        } catch (MalformedURLException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to build url (" + url + "):", e);
+        }
+    }
+    
+    @PostConstruct
+    public void setupMaps() {
+        buildNewsFeedsByCategory();
+        buildFakeNewsFeedsByCategory();
+    }
+    
+    private void buildFakeNewsFeedsByCategory() {
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
+                         "https://www.thebeaverton.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa", getNewsChannel( "Countries",
+                 "https://www.theonion.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "belgium",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://nordpresse.be/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "france",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "http://www.legorafi.fr/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "india", getNewsChannel( "Countries",
+                 "http://www.fakingnews.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "russia",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://fognews.ru/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "serbia",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://www.njuz.net/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "venezuela",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
+                         "http://feeds.feedburner.com/elchiguirebipolar" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "newzealand",
+                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
+                         "http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/rss" ) );
+    }
+    
+    private void buildNewsFeedsByCategory() {
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "top",
+                getNewsChannel( "General", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/topstories.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "world",
+                getNewsChannel( "General",
+                        "https://news.google.com/news/rss/headlines/section/topic/WORLD?ned=us&hl=en" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
+                getNewsChannel( "General",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa",
+                getNewsChannel( "General",
+                         "http://feeds.reuters.com/Reuters/domesticNews" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "britain",
+                getNewsChannel( "General",
+                         "http://feeds.bbci.co.uk/news/uk/rss.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "redhat",
+                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
+                         "https://www.redhat.com/en/rss/blog/channel/red-hat-news" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "fedora", getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
+                 "http://fedoraplanet.org/rss20.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "openshift",
+                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
+                         "https://blog.openshift.com/category/news/rss" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "opensource",
+                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",  "https://opensource.com/feed" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "politics",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/politics.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "business",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/business.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "health",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/health.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "arts",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",  "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/arts.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "tech",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/technology.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "offbeat",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/offbeat.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "indigenous",
+                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
+                         "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-cbcaboriginal" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sports",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "mlb",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-mlb.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nba",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nba.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "cfl",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-cfl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nfl",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nfl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nhl",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nhl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "soccer",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-soccer.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "curling",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-curling.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "skating",
+                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-figureskating.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "bc",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-britishcolumbia.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "kamloops",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kamloops.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "calgary",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-calgary.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "edmonton",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-edmonton.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatchewan",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatchewan.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatoon",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatoon.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "manitoba",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-manitoba.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "thunderbay",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-thunderbay.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sudbury",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-sudbury.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "windsor",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-windsor.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "london",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-canada-london" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "waterloo",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kitchenerwaterloo.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "toronto",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-toronto.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "hamilton",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-hamiltonnews.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "montreal",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-montreal.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newbrunswick",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newbrunswick.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "pei",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-pei.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "novascotia",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-novascotia.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newfoundland",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newfoundland.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "north",
+                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-north.xml" ) );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!news ?@category")
+    public String getNews(User user, Optional<String> category) {
+        return getHeadlines(user, newsLimit, newsFeedsByCategory, category.orElse(DEFAULT_NEWS_CATEGORY));
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!news help")
+    public void newsHelp(User user) {
+        for (String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage("News Categories (example: !news toronto):", newsFeedsByCategory)
+                .split("\n")) {
+            user.sendMessage(helpMessagePart);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!fakenews ?@category")
+    public String getFakeNews(User user, Optional<String> category) {
+        return getHeadlines(user, fakeNewsLimit, fakeNewsFeedsByCategory, category.orElse(DEFAULT_FAKE_NEWS_CATEGORY));
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!fakenews help")
+    public void fakeNewsHelp(User user) {
+        for (String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage("Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):", fakeNewsFeedsByCategory)
+                .split("\n")) {
+            user.sendMessage(helpMessagePart);
+        }
+    }
+
+    protected String getHeadlines(User user, LimitService limit, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory, String category)
+    {
+        if (!feedsByCategory.containsKey(category)) {
+            return null;
+        }
+        try {
+            limit.addUse(user);
+        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+            return e.getMessage();
+        }
+        SyndFeedInput input = new SyndFeedInput();
+        SyndFeed feed;
+
+        try
+        {
+            feed = input.build( new XmlReader( feedsByCategory.get( category ).url ) );
+        }
+        catch ( FeedException | IOException e )
+        {
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            return  "Error opening RSS feed";
+        }
+
+        List<SyndEntry> entries = feed.getEntries();
+        return entries.stream()
+                .map(entry -> Colors.bold( "  " + entry.getTitle() ) + " -> "
+                        + entry.getLink())
+                .limit(NUM_HEADLINES)
+                .collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
+    }
+
+    protected String generateHelpMessage(String intro, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory)
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+
+        sb.append( intro );
+
+        String prevGenre = null;
+
+        for ( String category : feedsByCategory.keySet() )
+        {
+            String currentGenre = feedsByCategory.get( category ).genre;
+
+            if ( !currentGenre.equals( prevGenre ) )
+            {
+                sb.append( "\n" );
+                sb.append( "  " + currentGenre + ":" );
+                prevGenre = currentGenre;
+            }
+
+            sb.append( " { " + category + " }" );
+        }
+
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+
+    private static class NewsChannel {
+        final String genre;
+        final URL url;
+
+        public NewsChannel(String genre, URL url) {
+            this.genre = genre;
+            this.url = url;
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public boolean equals(Object o) {
+            if (this == o)
+                return true;
+            if (o == null || getClass() != o.getClass())
+                return false;
+            NewsChannel that = (NewsChannel) o;
+            return genre.equals(that.genre) && url.equals(that.url);
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public int hashCode() {
+            return Objects.hash(genre, url);
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e4379ab7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java
@@ -0,0 +1,66 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+// Taken from keratin-irc: https://github.com/ASzc/keratin-irc
+
+/*
+  Copyright (C) 2013 Alexander Szczuczko
+
+  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+
+/**
+ * Contains the de facto standard IRC colour codes.
+ */
+public class Colors
+{
+    public static final String BLACK = "\u000301";
+
+    public static final String BLUE = "\u000312";
+
+    public static final String BOLD = "\u0002";
+
+    public static final String BROWN = "\u000305";
+
+    public static final String CYAN = "\u000311";
+
+    public static final String DARK_BLUE = "\u000302";
+
+    public static final String DARK_GRAY = "\u000314";
+
+    public static final String DARK_GREEN = "\u000303";
+
+    public static final String GREEN = "\u000309";
+
+    public static final String LIGHT_GRAY = "\u000315";
+
+    public static final String MAGENTA = "\u000313";
+
+    public static final String NORMAL = "\u000f";
+
+    public static final String OLIVE = "\u000307";
+
+    public static final String PURPLE = "\u000306";
+
+    public static final String RED = "\u000304";
+
+    public static final String REVERSE = "\u0016";
+
+    public static final String TEAL = "\u000310";
+
+    public static final String UNDERLINE = "\u001f";
+
+    public static final String WHITE = "\u000300";
+
+    public static final String YELLOW = "\u000308";
+
+    /**
+     * Return a copy of the input String with IRC bold characters inserted.
+     *
+     * @return The modified copy of the input String
+     */
+    public static String bold( String input )
+    {
+        return BOLD + input + BOLD;
+    }
+}

From ef1bad917fa1d3098857a54d5d95d477e6889046 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 27 Jun 2021 22:34:15 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 32/79] Add LastSeenService to Quarkus Impl

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java | 14 +++-
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java     | 77 +++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java      |  6 +-
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     |  8 +-
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       |  6 +-
 .../{TimeoutService.java => TimeService.java} |  3 +-
 ...tServiceImpl.java => TimeServiceImpl.java} |  7 +-
 7 files changed, 107 insertions(+), 14 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
 rename vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/{TimeoutService.java => TimeService.java} (79%)
 rename vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/{TimeoutServiceImpl.java => TimeServiceImpl.java} (85%)

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
index 66ffbe00..1b3f7ea5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
@@ -6,7 +6,9 @@
  */
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
 
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
@@ -21,14 +23,22 @@ public class LastSeenDB
     @Inject
     RedisClient redisClient;
 
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
     public Optional<Long> getLastSeenTime( String nick )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.hget( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick ).toLong() );
+        Response response = redisClient.hget( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick );
+        if (response != null) {
+            return Optional.of(response.toLong());
+        } else {
+            return Optional.empty();
+        }
     }
 
     public void updateLastSeenTime( String nick )
     {
-        Long milliTime = System.currentTimeMillis();
+        Long milliTime = timeService.getCurrentTimeMills();
         redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick, milliTime.toString() ) );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..bf36ed6e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,77 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LastSeenDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelJoinEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.text.SimpleDateFormat;
+import java.time.Instant;
+import java.time.LocalDateTime;
+import java.time.OffsetDateTime;
+import java.time.format.DateTimeFormatter;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.TimeZone;
+import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class LastSeenService {
+
+    private static TimeZone timeZone = TimeZone.getTimeZone( "America/Toronto" );
+    private static DateTimeFormatter dateFormatter = makeDateFormat();
+
+    @Inject
+    LastSeenDB lastSeenDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Handler
+    @SuppressWarnings("unchecked")
+    public void updateLastSeenTime(ActorEvent<?> event) {
+        // generic infomation is hidden; need to check if the
+        // event is for a User
+        if (event.getActor() instanceof User) {
+            String joiner = Nick.getNick((ActorEvent<User>) event).getBaseNick();
+            lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime(joiner);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @Handler
+    public String onJoin(ChannelJoinEvent event) {
+        String joiner = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        Optional<Long> maybeLastSeen = lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( joiner );
+
+        lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime(joiner);
+        if (maybeLastSeen.isEmpty()) {
+            return null;
+        }
+
+        long lastSeen = maybeLastSeen.get();
+        long now = timeService.getCurrentTimeMills();
+        long timeAgo = now - lastSeen;
+
+        long daysAgo = TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS.toDays( timeAgo );
+
+        if ( daysAgo > 30 )
+        {
+            return "Hi " + joiner + "! I last saw you " + daysAgo + " days ago at "
+                    + OffsetDateTime.ofInstant(Instant.ofEpochMilli(lastSeen),
+                        timeZone.toZoneId().getRules().getOffset(Instant.ofEpochMilli(lastSeen)))
+                    .format(dateFormatter)+ ". Long time, no see.";
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    private static DateTimeFormatter makeDateFormat()
+    {
+        SimpleDateFormat df = new SimpleDateFormat( "yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" );
+        df.setTimeZone( timeZone );
+        return DateTimeFormatter.ofPattern("yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" ).withZone(timeZone.toZoneId());
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
index 3e2ae38a..41d3bb2b 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ public class OmgwordService {
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     @Inject
-    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+    TimeService timeService;
 
     @Inject
     KarmaDB karmaDB;
@@ -129,7 +129,7 @@ public OmgwordGame(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
                 scrambled = scrambleWord(scrambled);
             }
 
-            timeoutHandler = timeoutService.onTimeout(Duration.ofSeconds(30), () -> {
+            timeoutHandler = timeService.onTimeout(Duration.ofSeconds(30), () -> {
                 try {
                     lock.lock();
                     event.sendReply(getTimeoutString());
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
index 13975e9d..18ba380a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@
 public class RemindMeService {
 
     @Inject
-    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+    TimeService timeService;
 
     String BAD_TIME_UNIT = "The time type given is not valid (use d for day, h for hour, m for minute, s for second)";
 
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ public String remindMe(User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex("\\S")
 
         // TODO: Persist this in the database in case VileBot is restarted?
         userToReminderCount.merge(userKey, 1, Integer::sum);
-        timeoutService.onTimeout(duration, () -> {
+        timeService.onTimeout(duration, () -> {
             user.sendMessage("This is your reminder that you should: " + message);
             userToReminderCount.computeIfPresent(userKey, (key, currentCount) -> {
                 if (currentCount == 1) {
@@ -59,6 +59,6 @@ public String remindMe(User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex("\\S")
             });
         });
 
-        return "Created reminder for " +  timeoutService.getCurrentDateTime().plus(duration).toString();
+        return "Created reminder for " +  timeService.getCurrentDateTime().plus(duration).toString();
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
index 7087c31a..23f8b4d2 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeoutService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import info.debatty.java.stringsimilarity.NormalizedLevenshtein;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ public class TriviaService {
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
     @Inject
-    TimeoutService timeoutService;
+    TimeService timeService;
 
     @Inject
     ObjectMapper objectMapper;
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ public String startGame(ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent) {
                 throw new IllegalStateException("Tried (" + tries + ") times, all responses were invalid");
             }
             game = new TriviaGame(triviaQuestions.getQuestion());
-            timeoutFuture = timeoutService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
+            timeoutFuture = timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
                 try {
                     gameLock.lock();
                     game.getTimeoutString().forEach(channelMessageEvent::sendReply);
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
similarity index 79%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
rename to vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
index d6514193..b051378f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
@@ -4,7 +4,8 @@
 import java.time.LocalDateTime;
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
 
-public interface TimeoutService {
+public interface TimeService {
+    long getCurrentTimeMills();
     LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime();
     Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout);
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
similarity index 85%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
rename to vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
index 8b5103ea..b3a38888 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeoutServiceImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
@@ -8,9 +8,14 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class TimeoutServiceImpl implements TimeoutService {
+public class TimeServiceImpl implements TimeService {
     ExecutorService executorService = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
 
+    @Override
+    public long getCurrentTimeMills() {
+        return System.currentTimeMillis();
+    }
+
     @Override
     public LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime() {
         return LocalDateTime.now();

From 0b4fba0d351d0cc816122c7300b78d7805153a07 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 27 Jun 2021 23:15:49 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 33/79] Add LastMessageSedService to Quarkus impl

---
 .../services/LastMessageSedService.java       | 77 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 77 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6bac1fad
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,77 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
+import java.util.function.BiFunction;
+import java.util.regex.Matcher;
+import java.util.regex.Pattern;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class LastMessageSedService {
+    /**
+     * Map with String key of IRC nick, to String value of the last line of text.
+     */
+    private final ConcurrentHashMap<String, String> lastMessageMapByNick = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
+
+    /**
+     * Matches a standard sed-like replace pattern (ex: s/foo/bar/), the forward slash divisor can be replaced with any
+     * punctuation character. The given separator character cannot be used elsewhere. Optionally, following the last
+     * slash, a user can write another user's name in order to modify that user's message.
+     */
+    private static final Pattern replacePattern =
+            Pattern.compile( "^s(\\p{Punct})((?!\\1).+?)\\1((?!\\1).+?)(?:\\1(g|)(?:\\s+(\\S+)\\s*|)|)$" );
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("@message")
+    public String onMessage(User user, String message){
+        Matcher sedMatcher = replacePattern.matcher(message);
+        String nick = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
+        if (sedMatcher.matches()) {
+            String correction = "Correction: ";
+
+            // If the last group of the regex captures a non-null string, the user is fixing another user's message.
+            if ( sedMatcher.group( 5 ) != null )
+            {
+                nick = sedMatcher.group( 5 );
+                correction = nick + ", ftfy: ";
+            }
+
+            if ( lastMessageMapByNick.containsKey( nick ) )
+            {
+                String regexp = sedMatcher.group( 2 );
+                String replacement = sedMatcher.group( 3 );
+                String endFlag = sedMatcher.group( 4 );
+
+                String lastMessage = lastMessageMapByNick.get( nick );
+
+                if ( !lastMessage.contains( regexp ) )
+                {
+                    return "Wow. Seriously? Try subbing out a string that actually occurred. Do you even sed, bro?";
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    String replacedMsg;
+                    String replacedMsgWHL;
+
+                    String replacementWHL = Colors.bold( replacement );
+
+                    BiFunction<String,String,String>
+                            replaceFunction = ("g".equals( endFlag ))? lastMessage::replaceAll : lastMessage::replaceFirst;
+                    replacedMsg = replaceFunction.apply( regexp, replacement );
+                    replacedMsgWHL = replaceFunction.apply( regexp, replacementWHL );
+
+                    lastMessageMapByNick.put( nick, replacedMsg );
+                    return correction + replacedMsgWHL;
+                }
+            }
+            return null;
+        } else {
+            lastMessageMapByNick.put(nick, message);
+            return null;
+        }
+    }
+}

From 7917c55a381b4a3262c1747fa77d3bebdfd912c4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Jun 2021 00:11:24 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 34/79] Add KarmaTransferService to Quarkus impl

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    |   4 +-
 .../services/KarmaTransferService.java        | 220 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 222 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
index 8121ef38..c89a1275 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
@@ -30,9 +30,9 @@ public class KarmaDB
      * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
      * @param mod The amount to change the karma by, may be negative.
      */
-    public void modNounKarma( String noun, Integer mod )
+    public void modNounKarma( String noun, Number mod )
     {
-        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, mod.toString(), noun );
+        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, Long.toString(mod.longValue()), noun );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..264b76cf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,220 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
+import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class KarmaTransferService {
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    private final Lock currentTransferMutex = new ReentrantLock();
+    private Future<?> transferTimeout;
+
+    private KarmaTransaction currentTransaction;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!transfer @recieverNick @transferAmount")
+    public String transferKarma( ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick recieverNick, Long transferAmount) {
+        try {
+            currentTransferMutex.lock();
+            if (currentTransaction != null) {
+                String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
+                String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
+                long amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
+
+                return "A transfer is already active. " + sender + " wants to transfer " + amount
+                        + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver + ", please !accept or !reject this transfer."
+                        + " You have 30 seconds to respond.";
+            }
+            String sender = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+            String receiver = recieverNick.getBaseNick();
+
+            if ( sender.equals( receiver ) )
+            {
+                return  "Really? What's the point of transferring karma to yourself?";
+            }
+
+            Long senderKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( sender ).orElse(0L);
+
+            if ( !validAmount( transferAmount, senderKarma ) )
+            {
+                return transferAmount + " isn't a valid amount."
+                        + " Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma"
+                        + " as the amount you want to transfer.";
+            } else {
+                return startTransaction( event, sender, receiver, transferAmount );
+            }
+        } finally {
+            currentTransferMutex.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!transfercancel")
+    public String cancelTransfer(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
+        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
+            return null;
+
+        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
+
+        if ( !sender.equals( user ) )
+        {
+            return  "Only " + sender + " may cancel this transfer.";
+        }
+
+        // Cancel transfer
+        try {
+            currentTransferMutex.lock();
+            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+            currentTransaction = null;
+        } finally {
+            currentTransferMutex.unlock();
+        }
+
+        return user + " has cancelled this transfer.";
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!accept")
+    public String acceptTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
+            return null;
+
+        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
+        String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
+        long amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
+
+        if ( !receiver.equals( user ) )
+        {
+            return "Only " + receiver + " may accept this transfer.";
+        }
+
+        // Accept transfer
+        try {
+            currentTransferMutex.lock();
+            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( receiver, amount );
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( sender, -1 * amount );
+
+            currentTransaction = null;
+
+            return "Transfer success! " + sender + " has transferred " + amount + " karma to " + receiver
+                + "!";
+        } finally {
+            currentTransferMutex.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!reject")
+    public String rejectTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
+            return null;
+
+        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
+        String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
+
+        if ( !receiver.equals( user ) )
+        {
+            return "Only " + receiver + " may reject this transfer.";
+        }
+
+        // Reject transfer
+        try
+        {
+            currentTransferMutex.lock();
+            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+            currentTransaction = null;
+            return user + " has rejected " + sender + "'s transfer.";
+        } finally {
+            currentTransferMutex.unlock();
+        }
+    }
+
+    private boolean validAmount( long transferAmount, long senderKarma )
+    {
+        return ( transferAmount > 0 ) && ( senderKarma >= transferAmount );
+    }
+
+    private String startTransaction( ChannelMessageEvent event, String sender, String receiver, long transferAmount )
+    {
+        currentTransaction = new KarmaTransaction( sender, receiver, transferAmount );
+        transferTimeout = timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
+            try {
+                currentTransferMutex.lock();
+                event.sendReply( "Transfer failed. No response was received within 30 seconds." );
+                currentTransaction = null;
+                transferTimeout = null;
+            } finally {
+                currentTransferMutex.unlock();
+            }
+        });
+        return sender + " wants to transfer " + transferAmount + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver
+                + ", please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond.";
+    }
+
+    private boolean reportHasCurrentTransaction( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        if ( currentTransaction == null )
+        {
+            event.sendReply( "No active transfer. To transfer karma enter '!transfer <noun> <karma amount>'." );
+            return false;
+        }
+        return true;
+    }
+
+    private static class KarmaTransaction
+    {
+        private String sender;
+
+        private String receiver;
+
+        private final long transferAmount;
+
+        KarmaTransaction( String senderNick, String receiverNick, long transferAmount )
+        {
+            if ( senderNick == null )
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "senderNick can't be null" );
+            if ( receiverNick == null )
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "receiverNick can't be null" );
+
+            this.sender = senderNick;
+            this.receiver = receiverNick;
+            this.transferAmount = transferAmount;
+        }
+
+        String getSender()
+        {
+            return sender;
+        }
+
+        String getReceiver()
+        {
+            return receiver;
+        }
+
+        long getTransferAmount()
+        {
+            return transferAmount;
+        }
+    }
+}

From 8dbe33af725f4c4aa79de232439b93346c5af803 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2021 21:21:40 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 35/79] Add KaomojiService to VileBot Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |   75 +
 .../src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv        | 1562 +++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 1637 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d9fb326f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,75 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.BufferedReader;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.io.InputStreamReader;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class KaomojiService {
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    // Obtained from: https://raw.githubusercontent.com/cspeterson/splatmoji/master/data/emoticons/emoticons.tsv
+    Map<String, List<String>> queryToKaomojiListMap;
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    public void constructQueryToKaomojiListMap() {
+        queryToKaomojiListMap = new HashMap<>();
+        try (InputStream kaomojiListResource = KaomojiService.class.getResourceAsStream("/kaomojilist.tsv")) {
+            if (kaomojiListResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("File not found");
+            }
+            new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(kaomojiListResource, StandardCharsets.UTF_8))
+                    .lines()
+                    .forEach(line -> {
+                        String[] parts = line.split("\t");
+                        String kaomoji = parts[0];
+                        String[] matchedQueries = parts[1].split(", ");
+                        for (String matchedQuery : matchedQueries) {
+                            queryToKaomojiListMap.computeIfAbsent(matchedQuery, key -> new ArrayList<>()).add(kaomoji);
+                        }
+                    });
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open wordlist file: ", e);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!kaomoji @query")
+    public String getKaomoji(String query) {
+        String kaomoji = "";
+        switch ( query )
+        {
+            case "wat":
+                return getKaomoji("confused");
+            case "nsfw":
+            case "wtf":
+                return "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)";
+            case "vilebot":
+                return "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )";
+            default:
+                if (queryToKaomojiListMap.containsKey(query.toLowerCase())) {
+                    kaomoji = randomProvider.getRandomElement(queryToKaomojiListMap.get(query.toLowerCase()));
+                }
+                break;
+        }
+
+        if ( kaomoji.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            kaomoji = "щ(ಥдಥщ)";
+        }
+        return kaomoji;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3b4f1c27
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
@@ -0,0 +1,1562 @@
+(⊃‿⊂)	hide
+|_・)	hide
+|･ω･｀)	hide
+｜−・;）	hide
+|ω・）	hide
+‎|ω･)و ̑̑༉	hide
+( ͒•·̫|	hide
+┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴	hide
+ﾍ(･_|	hide
+|₋ॢọ̶̶̷̥᷅๑)‧˚⁺	hide
+川o･-･)ﾉ	hide, wave
+┻┳|･ω･)	hide
+┻┳|･ω･)ﾉ	hide, wave
+(*σᴗσ)(ㅎᴗㅎ )　｜‸눈;)	hide
+| ू•ૅω•́)ᵎᵎᵎ	hide
+（・⊝・）	bird
+（・⊝・∞）	bird
+（・θ・）	bird
+（＠◇＠）	bird
+(•∋•)	bird
+（`･⊝･´ ）	bird
+(`･⊝･´)	bird
+(｀Θ´)	bird
+(°<°)	bird
+（ﾟ∈ﾟ）	bird
+(◉Θ◉)	bird
+(●∈∋●)	bird
+<（ё）>	bird
+~~……ヾლ∩з…….~~	bird
+⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹	bird
+◎▼◎	bird
+ˏ₍•ɞ•₎ˎ	bird
+ˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ	bird
+♡(㋭ ਊ ㋲)♡	bird, love
+꜀( ˊ̠˂˃ˋ̠ )꜆	bird
+ꉂ (๑¯ਊ¯)σ	bird
+(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻	table flip
+┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ)	table flip
+(╯°Д°）╯︵/(.□ . \)	table flip
+(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻	table flip
+(ノಠ ∩ಠ)ノ彡( \o°o)\\	table flip
+(╯°□°)╯︵ ʞooqǝɔɐℲ	table flip
+ノ┬─┬ノ ︵ ( \o°o)\\	table flip
+/( .□.)\ ︵╰(゜益゜)╯︵ /(.□. /)	table flip
+(∿°○°)∿ ︵ ǝʌol	table flip, love
+ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻	table flip, animal
+(/¯◡ ‿ ◡)/¯ ~ ┻━┻	table flip
+( ｀o)ﾉﾉ ┫	table flip
+( ﾉo|o)ﾉ ┫｡ﾟ:.:	table flip
+（；－－）ノノ ┫：・゜’	table flip
+(/-o-)/ ⌒ ┤	table flip
+(/#-_-)/~┻┻〃	table flip
+(/｀ο´)/ ⌒ ┫:’ﾟ:｡･,. 。゜	table flip
+（/＞□＜）/亠亠	table flip
+(/ToT)/ ~┻┻	table flip
+(/ToT)/_┫・..	table flip
+(ノ ﾟДﾟ)ノ　＝＝＝＝　┻━━┻	table flip
+(ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻ (/o＼)	table flip
+(ﾉ-_-)ﾉ ~┻━┻ ☆`	table flip
+(ノ－＿－）ノ　┫〝〟∵	table flip
+（ノ－＿－）ノ・・・~~~┻┻	table flip
+(ノ-_-)ノ・・・~~┻━┻	table flip
+（ノ－＿－）ノ･･･~┻┻	table flip
+(ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ-。-）ノ┻━┻☆(　　^)	table flip
+(ノ-0-)ノ　┫∵：．	table flip
+（ノ－ｏ－）ノ　”″┻━┻☆（>○<）	table flip
+(ﾉ-ｏ-)ﾉ ~┫：・’.：：・	table flip
+(ノ-o-)ノ⌒┳ ┫┻┣	table flip
+(ノ-o-)ノ┸┸)`3゜)・;’.	table flip
+(ﾉ；；)ﾉ~┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ；o；)ノ ┫:･’.::･┻┻:･’.::･	table flip
+(ノ；ω；)ノ ┫:･’.::･┻┻:･’.::･	table flip
+(ﾉ*’‐’)ﾉ ﾐ ┸┸	table flip
+(ノ#-_-)ノ ミ　┴┴	table flip
+(ノ#-◇-)ノ ~~~~┻━┻☆(x _ x)ノ	table flip
+（ノ｀_´）ﾉ~~┴┴	table flip
+(ノ｀´）ノミ┻┻	table flip
+ノToT)ノ ~┻┻	table flip
+(ﾉ｀□´)ﾉ⌒┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ｀０)ノ ⌒┫ ┻ ┣ ┳☆(x x)	table flip
+ノ￣□￣)ノ ~┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ｀m´)ノ ~┻━┻ (/o＼)	table flip
+(ﾉ｀Д)ﾉ:・’∵:.┻┻	table flip
+（ﾉ｀Д´）ﾉ－－－－－┻┻　-３-３	table flip
+(ﾉ`Д´)ﾉ.:･┻┻)｀з゜)･:ﾞ;	table flip
+┻━┻ミ＼（≧ロ≦＼）	table flip
+(ノ￣＿￣）ノ　┫〝〟∵	table flip
+(ノ￣＿￣)ノ＼。:・゛。	table flip
+(丿>ロ<)丿 ┤∵:.	table flip
+(ﾉToT)ﾉ ﾐ ┸┸	table flip
+(ﾉ￣□￣)ﾉ ~┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ￣▽￣)ノ┻━┻☆)*￣□)ノ))	table flip
+(ノ￣◇￣)ノ~┻━┻/(×。×)	table flip
+（ノ￣ー￣）ノ　┫：・’.::	table flip
+(ノ￣ー￣）ノ　┫〝〟∵	table flip
+(メ–)ノノ。。。┻┻	table flip
+(ﾉ＝ﾟﾛﾟ)ﾉ ⌒┫:･’.::	table flip
+(ノ＞o＜)ノ ┫:･’.::	table flip
+（ノ≧∇≦）ノ　┫　゜・∵。	table flip
+(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸┸	table flip
+（ノ≧ο≦）ノ　┫　゜・∵。	table flip
+（ノ○Д○）ノ＝＝＝┠	table flip
+（ノ♯｀△´）ノ~’┻━┻	table flip
+（ノー”ー）ノ　┫　゜・∵。	table flip
+（ノT＿T)ノ ＾┻━┻	table flip
+(ノToT)ノ ~┻┻	table flip
+(ノToT)ノ ┫:・’.::・	table flip
+(ﾉToT)ﾉ ┫:･’.::･＼┻┻(･_＼)	table flip
+(ノToT)ノ ┫:・’.::・┻┻:・’.::・	table flip
+(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))	excited, happy
+(★^O^★)	excited, happy
+(ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ	excited, dance
+＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／	excited, happy
+＼(^▽^＠)ノ	excited, happy, dance
+ヾ(@^▽^@)ノ	excited, happy
+o((*^▽^*))o	excited, happy
+Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ	excited, happy
+(((＼（＠v＠）／)))	excited, happy
+(* >ω<)	excited
+(*≧▽≦)	excited, happy
+(/^▽^)/	excited, happy
+(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧	excited, happy
+(ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ	excited, dance
+(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧	excited
+\( ‘з’)/	excited
+＼(*T▽T*)／	excited, happy, cry
+＼（＾▽＾）／	excited
+＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／	excited, happy, cry
+☆*･゜ﾟ･*\(^O^)/*･゜ﾟ･*☆	excited, happy
+☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆	excited, happy
+ヽ( ★ω★)ノ	excited
+ヽ(;^o^ヽ)	excited, happy, dance
+ヽ(；▽；)ノ	excited, happy, cry
+ヾ(。◕ฺ∀◕ฺ)ノ	excited
+ヾ(＠† ▽ †＠）ノ	excited, happy, cry
+ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ	excited, happy, dance
+ヾ(＠^▽^＠)ﾉ	excited, happy
+ヾ（＠＾▽＾＠）ノ	excited, happy
+ヾ(＠゜▽゜＠）ノ	excited, happy
+ヾ(@°▽°@)ノ	excited, happy, crazy
+ヾ(＠°▽°＠)ﾉ	excited, happy
+ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ	excited, happy
+ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ	excited, happy
+ヽ(^。^)丿	excited, happy
+ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ	excited, happy
+ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿	excited, cat
+o(〃＾▽＾〃)o	excited, happy
+o(^▽^)o	excited, happy
+Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ	excited, happy
+o(≧∇≦o)	excited, happy
+о(ж＞▽＜)ｙ ☆	excited, happy
+٩(^ᴗ^)۶	excited
+(๑>ᴗ<๑)	excited
+٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ	excited
+୧(﹒︠ᴗ﹒︡)୨	excited
+˚₊*(ˊॢo̶̶̷̤◡ुo̴̶̷̤ˋॢ)*₊˚⁎	excited
+∗˚(* ˃̤൬˂̤ *)˚∗	excited, laugh
+•ू(ᵒ̴̶̷ωᵒ̴̶̷*•ू) ​ )੭ु⁾	excited
+(❛ัॢᵕ❛ั ॢ)✩*ೃ.⋆	excited, think
+⁺✧.(˃̶ ॣ⌣ ॣ˂̶∗̀)ɞ⁾	excited
+٩(●˙▿˙●)۶…⋆ฺ	excited
+*✲ﾟ*｡✧٩(･ิᴗ･ิ๑)۶*✲ﾟ*｡✧	excited
+σ(≧ε≦ｏ)	excited, kiss
+٩(๑ơలơ)۶♡	excited, love
+˚‧*♡ॢ˃̶̤̀◡˂̶̤́♡ॢ*‧˚	excited, love
+( ˃̶ω˂̶ ૃ)	excited
+‎(٭°̧̧̧ω°̧̧̧٭)	excited, cry
+૮(ᶿ̴͈᷇ॢ௰ᶿ̴͈᷆ॢ)ა✧	excited
+٩(ó｡ò۶ ♡)))♬	excited, love, music
+␟␏(ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ)␟␏ෆ	excited
+(●´∀｀●)	happy
+(｀・ω・´)”	happy
+(*´・ｖ・)	happy
+(⌒▽⌒)☆	happy
+⊂((・▽・))⊃	happy, hug
+(≧∇≦)/	happy, wave
+(´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ	happy
+（・◇・）	happy
+( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ	happy, wave
+（＾_＾）	happy
+（￣ー￣）	happy
+(*^▽^*)	happy
+(＾▽＾)	happy
+（’-’*)	happy
+∩( ・ω・)∩	happy
+＼（＾ ＾）／	happy
+（　´∀｀）	happy, laugh
+(^～^)	happy
+(☆^O^☆)	happy
+(☆^ー^☆)	happy
+(´ω｀★)	happy
+*(*´∀｀*)☆	happy
+d=(´▽｀)=b	happy, hug
+ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ	happy, crazy
+（*＾ワ＾*）	happy
+(´∀`)	happy
+(°◇°;)	happy
+(゜▽゜;)	happy, crazy
+(ﾉ´ｰ`)ﾉ	happy, surrender
+ヽ(´ー`)ﾉ	happy, dance
+(　＾∇＾)	happy
+＼( ｀.∀´)／	happy, surrender
+(●⌒∇⌒●)	happy
+ヽ(｀◇´)/	happy, surrender
+ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ	happy
+（＾ω＾）	happy
+｡◕‿◕｡	happy
+⊙ω⊙	happy
+⊙△⊙	happy
+⊙▽⊙	happy
+o (◡‿◡✿)	happy
+(◕‿◕✿)	happy
+(∩_∩)	happy
+(•ิ_•ิ)	happy
+(/•ิ_•ิ)/	happy
+（ΦωΦ）	happy
+（*＾＾*)	happy
+（＾⊆＾）	happy
+(-^〇^-)	happy
+(ノ*゜▽゜*)	happy
+ヾ(´▽｀;)ゝ	happy, dance, music
+(゜▼゜＊）	happy, crazy
+(￣个￣)	happy
+(“⌒∇⌒”)	happy
+へ(゜∇、°)へ	happy, crazy
+（-＾〇＾-）	happy, sleep
+（＞ｙ＜）	happy, laugh
+(ヘ。ヘ)	happy, dead
+（＾ｖ＾）	happy, laugh
+ヾ(@゜∇゜@)ノ	happy, crazy
+（＠´＿｀＠）	happy, embarassed
+(ノ＞▽＜。)ノ	happy, laugh
+＼（＠；◇；＠）／	happy, cry
+＼(☆o◎)／	happy, crazy
+(o;TωT)o	happy, cry
+（⌒▽⌒ゞ	happy
+“ヽ(´▽｀)ノ”	happy, music
+ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ	happy, wave, fun
+Ψ(´▽｀)Ψ	happy
+（ｖ＾＿＾）ｖ	happy
+(ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)♥	happy, love
+(❁´◡`❁)*✲ﾟ*	happy
+(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) ♫･*:.｡. .｡.:*･	happy, music
+ლ(╹◡╹ლ)	happy, fun
+(✿◠‿◠)	happy
+(◑‿◐)	happy
+ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)	happy, love, hug
+✖‿✖	happy, dead
+(*~▽~)	happy
+(─‿‿─)	happy
+∩(︶▽︶)∩	happy
+(︶ω︶)	happy
+(∩▂∩)	happy
+(¬‿¬)	happy, think
+(n˘v˘•)¬	happy
+ಥ‿ಥ	happy
+≖‿≖	happy, dead
+ʘ‿ʘ	happy, fun
+☆ﾐ(o*･ω･)ﾉ	happy, wave, run
+(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞	happy
+(ᅌᴗᅌ* )	happy
+(;ﾞ°´ω°´)	happy
+°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°	happy
+( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)	happy, think
+(•‿•)	happy
+(⊙ヮ⊙)	happy
+(*¬*)	happy
+(^∇^)	happy
+(＝⌒▽⌒＝)	happy
+(≡^∇^≡)	happy
+≧(´▽｀)≦	happy, music
+（‐＾▽＾‐）	happy
+(￣▽+￣*)	happy
+(°∀°)b	happy
+(*⌒∇⌒*)	happy
+(๑╹っ╹๑)	happy
+╮(─▽─)╭	whatever
+¯\_(ツ)_/¯	whatever
+٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶	whatever
+ヽ（´ー｀）┌	whatever
+┗┐ヽ(′Д、`*)ﾉ┌┛	whatever
+ヽ( ´¬`)ノ	whatever
+┗┃・ ■ ・┃┛	whatever
+ヾ(´A｀)ノﾟ	whatever
+ヽ（・＿・；)ノ	whatever
+ヽ(　￣д￣;)ノ	whatever
+＼（〇_ｏ）／	whatever
+ヽ(。_°)ノ	whatever, crazy
+＼(;´□｀)/	whatever
+ヾ(*´ー`)ノ	whatever
+ヽ(‘ー`)ノ	whatever
+ヽ(ー_ー )ノ	whatever
+ヽ(´～｀；）	whatever
+┐(‘～`；)┌	whatever
+ヽ（*ω。）ノ	whatever
+(;´・`)>	whatever
+（＾～＾）	whatever
+٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶	whatever
+┐(￣ー￣)┌	whatever
+t(ツ)_/¯	whatever
+┐(￣ヮ￣)┌	whatever
+╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯	whatever
+ಠ_ಠ	whatever, angry, sad, stare
+ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)	whatever
+¯\(°_o)/¯	whatever, crazy
+╮(╯▽╰)╭	whatever
+( c//”-}{-*\x)	love, kiss
+(｡-_-｡ )人( ｡-_-｡)	love
+(‘∀’●)♡	love
+(*´∀｀*人*´∀｀*)	love
+(/^-^(^ ^*)/	love
+(´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡	love
+(´∀｀)♡	love, happy
+ヽ(愛´∀｀愛)ノ	love
+(●♡∀♡)	love
+( ˘ ³˘)♥	love, kiss
+( ˘ ³˘)❤	love, kiss
+( ⋆•ิ ᴈ-ิ(ᵕ❥ ᵕ⁎ ॢ)	love, kiss
+(・_・)❤(-_-)	love
+(｡・//ε//・｡)	love, kiss
+(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡	love, animal, pig
+(｡’▽’｡)♡	love
+（。ˇ ⊖ˇ）♡	love
+(｡♥‿♥｡)	love
+(* ˘⌣˘)◞[_]♥[_]ヽ(•‿• )	love
+（*´▽｀*）	love, music, happy
+（*＾3＾）/～♡	love, kiss
+（〃・ω・〃）	love
+（´・｀ ）♡	love, kiss
+(´▽`ʃƪ)♡	love
+(´ε｀ )♡	love, kiss
+（´ω｀♡%）	love
+(˘▼˘>ԅ( ˘⌣ƪ)	love
+(ˆˇˆ)-c<˘ˑ˘)	love
+(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)	love
+(>^_^)><(^o^<)	love, hug
+(∩˃o˂∩)♡	love
+(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤	love
+(♥ó㉨ò)ﾉ♡	love, bear
+(♥ω♥ ) ~♪	love
+(♥ω♥*)	love
+(Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥(˘⌣˘ C)	love
+(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)	love, kiss
+(ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)	love, kiss
+‎(ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)	love, kiss
+(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)	love
+(づ￣ ³￣)づ	love, hug, kiss
+(っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )	love, kiss
+(人-ω-)｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡Good Night♡･*｡ﾟo｡(-ω-人)	love
+♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡	love
+♡｡ﾟ.(*♡´‿` 人´‿` ♡*)ﾟ♡ °・	love
+♡(*´･ω･)(･ω･`*)♡	love
+♡(*´∀｀*)人(*´∀｀*)♡	love
+♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )	love
+♡´･ᴗ･`♡	love
+♡＾▽＾♡	love
+♡꒰*･ω･人･ω･*꒱♡	love
+♡o｡.(✿ฺ｡ ✿ฺ)	love
+♡o｡(๑๏‿ฺ๏๑)｡o♡	love
+♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)	love
+♥(✿ฺ´∀`✿ฺ)ﾉ	love
+♥（ﾉ´∀`）	love
+♥～(‘▽^人)	love
+♥╣[-_-]╠♥	love
+✿♥‿♥✿	love
+꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡	love
+꒰♡ˊ͈ ु꒳ ूˋ͈꒱.⑅*♡	love
+웃+웃=❤	love
+乂❤‿❤乂	love
+( ᵒ̴̶̷̤̀ुωᵒ̴̶̷̤́ू )❤”	love
+♡ლ(-༗‿༗-)ლ♡	love
+☆*✲ﾟ*｡(((´♡‿♡`+)))｡*ﾟ✲*☆	love
+♡ლζ(♛ε♛*ζლ♡	love
+(ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞	love
+ॱ॰⋆(˶ॢ‾᷄﹃‾᷅˵ॢ)ӵᵘᵐᵐᵞ♡♡♡	love, think
+੯ूᵕ̤ू U॒॒॒॒॒୭ℒℴѵℯ❤	love
+(♡´͈༝`͈)ฅ˒˒	love
+(๑′ᴗ‵๑)Ｉ Lᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ♥	love
+♡ℒฺℴฺνℯฺ♡	love
+(*´o`*)ʖˋʖˋʖˋ～♡	love
+(๑•з•)))⋆*♡*⋆ฺ=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞	love, kiss
+♡+:｡.｡❣LﾛVЁ❣｡.｡:+♡	love
+‎(๑′ڡ‵๑)۶४४yϋᵐᵐӵ♡॰⋆̥	love
+( ˭̵̵̵̵͈́◡ु͂˭̵̵̵͈̀ )ˉ̞̭♡	love
+ლ(´◉❥◉｀ლ)	love, kiss
+(๑・ω-)～♥”	love
+( ＾◡＾)っ✂❤	love
+（●´∀｀）ノ♡	love
+◌⑅⃝●♡⋆♡⃝ ˻˳˯ₑ♡⃝⋆●♡⑅⃝◌	love
+(♡ᵉ̷͈ัॢωᵉ̷͈ัॢ )‧₊°♡	love
+(✿ ♥‿♥)	love
+ฅ ̳͒•ˑ̫• ̳͒ฅ♡	love
+(｡・‧̫・｡).*＊♡	love
+(♡ˊ͈ ॢ꒳ ॢˋ͈)♪	love
+♡+* Ɗɑɫë*+♡	love
+(͒ ॢ ›⚇‹ ॢ)͒୭♡	love
+(*°∀°)=3	love
+( ๑ ᴖ ᴈ ᴖ)ᴖ ᴑ ᴖ๑)❣	love, kiss
+(/∇＼*)｡o○♡	love
+(۶•౪•)۶❤٩(•౪•٩)	love
+(ღ˘⌣˘)❛ั◡❛ัღ)	love, hug
+(*´ ˘ `*).｡oO ( ♡ )	love, think
+´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊	love
+(*• ुᴗ•ධ̢•͈ꄃ̑•͈ ධ̡੭ु⁾⁾·°♡	love
+( ´͈ ૢᐜ `͈ૢ)･*♡੭ੇ৸♡੭ੇ৸♡	love
+( ′ॢ◡̶͂‵ ॢ )♡*.	love
+˄̻ ̊σ(˃̴͈◡ुමੈॆ⋆)˄̻ ̊~♡⃛	love
+(୨୧•͈ᴗ•͈)◞ᵗʱᵃᵑᵏઽ*♡	love
+*♡೫̥͙*:・ℋɑppყ Ϣәԁԁıɲɠﾟ･:* ೫̥͙♡*	love
+(≚ᄌ≚)ℒℴѵℯ❤	love
+◟( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )◞♡⃛◟( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )◞	love
+(๑॔˃̶ॢ◟◞ ˂̶ॢ๑॓)♡	love
+₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡	love
+（人´∀`*）	love
+( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡	love, happy
+( ๑॔˃ ॢ‧̫˂)ॢ♡̷˚๐	love
+ପ(๑•̀ᴗ-♡ॢ)fෆr yෆu*೨⋆*✩	love
+٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤	love, hug
+～(^з^)-♡	love, kiss
+ヾ(◍’౪`◍)ﾉﾞ♡	love, wave
+(●´□`)♡	love
+ლ(|||⌒εー|||)ლ	love, kiss
+‎ƪ(♥ﻬ♥)ʃ	love
+ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡	love
+(‾̴̴͡͡▿•‾̴̴͡͡ʃƪ)	love
+(ෆ❛ั ु▿❛ั੯ू❛ัू ໒꒱⁼³₌₃	love
+♡(.◜ω◝.)♡	love
+(*≧m≦*)	angry
+(>_<)	angry
+(,,#ﾟДﾟ)	angry
+ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ	angry
+o(>< )o	angry
+ｏ( ><)o	angry
+ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ	angry
+（＞д＜）	angry
+（;≧皿≦）	angry, sleep
+[○･｀Д´･○]	angry
+ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ	angry
+Σ(-`Д´-ﾉ；)ﾉ	angry
+(((p(>o<)q)))	angry
+(/ﾟДﾟ)/	angry
+(¬д¬。)	angry
+(¬､¬)	angry
+（；¬＿¬)	angry, think
+(;¬_¬)	angry, think
+(；¬д¬)	angry
+(≧σ≦)	angry
+o(-`д´- ｡)	angry
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+(*￣m￣)	angry
+(´Д｀)	angry
+(；￣Д￣）	angry
+(¬_¬)ﾉ	angry, wave
+(＃｀д´)ﾉ	angry
+(」゜ロ゜)」	angry, surprised
+Σ(▼□▼メ)	angry
+(━┳━ _ ━┳━)	angry
+(┳◇┳)	angry
+{{|└(>o< )┘|}}	angry
+＼(＠O＠)／	angry
+（≧▼≦；)	angry
+＼(〇O〇)／	angry
+s(・｀ヘ´・;)ゞ	angry
+（▼へ▼メ）	angry
+＼(`O´θ／	angry
+θ＼(；￢_￢)	angry
+ヽ(｀⌒´メ)ノ	angry
+凸(-0-メ)	angry
+凸(｀△´＋）	angry
+凸(｀0´)凸	angry
+凸(｀⌒´メ)凸	angry
+＼(｀0´)／	angry
+-`д´-	angry
+(>人<)	angry
+щ(ಠ益ಠщ)	angry
+(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ	angry
+щ(ಥДಥщ)	angry
+o(≧o≦)o	angry
+(⋋▂⋌)	angry
+(◣_◢)	angry
+ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ	angry, sleep
+ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ	angry
+( ಠ ಠ )	angry
+(¬▂¬)	angry
+(¬_¬)	angry, think
+ಥ⌣ಥ	angry
+s(・｀ヘ´・；)	angry
+ლ(ಠ益ಠლ	angry
+ლಠ益ಠ)ლ	angry
+凸ಠ益ಠ)凸	angry
+╭(๑¯д¯๑)╮	angry
+ಠ▃ಠ	angry
+t(-_-t)	angry, surrender
+ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛	angry
+(҂⌣̀_⌣́)	angry, think
+‎ͼ(ݓ_ݓ)ͽ	angry, cry
+(ಥ⌣ಥ)	angry
+（ ; ; ）	sad, cry
+(T＿T)	sad, cry
+（ ＴДＴ）	sad, cry
+(ToT)	sad, cry
+(Ｔ▽Ｔ)	sad, cry
+(‘A`)	sad
+（；_・）A single tear…	sad
+(T_T)	sad, cry
+((T.T； )	sad, cry
+(； T.T))	sad, cry
+（；へ：）	sad, cry
+(ノД`)・゜・。	sad, cry
+・(/Д`)・	sad
+(´＿｀。)	sad
+(´Д｀。)	sad
+(´Ａ｀。)	sad
+(´∩｀。)	sad
+｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡	sad, cry
+(┳Д┳)	sad, cry
+(´；д；`)	sad, cry
+(*´；ェ；`*)	sad, cry
+｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡	sad, cry
+(。┰ω┰。)	sad, cry
+(゜´Д｀゜)	sad
+（ｉДｉ）	sad, cry
+(´；ω；`)	sad, cry
+。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡	sad, cry
+ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ	sad
+(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ	sad
+{{p´Д｀q}}	sad
+ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ	sad
+( p_q)	sad, cry
+(╯︵╰,)	sad, cry
+(个_个)	sad, cry
+((´д｀))	sad
+( ≧Д≦)	sad
+｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡	sad, cry
+p(´⌒｀｡q)	sad
+(/□＼*)・゜	sad, cry
+((o(;△;)o))	sad, cry
+（；￣д￣）	sad, surrender
+(ㄒoㄒ)	sad, cry
+⊙︿⊙	sad
+o(╥﹏╥)o	sad, cry, surrender
+o(；△；)o	sad, cry
+(;*△*;)	sad, cry
+（´＿｀）	sad
+╥﹏╥	sad, cry
+(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)	sad, cry
+(∩︵∩)	sad
+(︶︹︺)	sad
+(╥_╥)	sad, cry
+(っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ	sad, hug
+ಥ_ಥ	sad
+(T⌓T)	sad
+( ꒪Д꒪)ノ	surprised
+(((( ;°Д°))))	surprised
+((((；゜Д゜)))	surprised
+（゜◇゜）	surprised
+（￣□￣；）	surprised, surrender
+∑(O_O；)	surprised
+＼(>o<)ノ	surprised
+━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━	surprised
+Σ(゜ロ゜;)	surprised
+Σ(゜゜)	surprised
+(*ﾟﾛﾟ)	surprised
+щ(゜ロ゜щ)	surprised
+(ﾉﾟ0ﾟ)ﾉ~	surprised
+⊙▂⊙	surprised
+⊙０⊙	surprised
+w(°ｏ°)w	surprised
+L(・o・)」	surprised
+(○o○)	surprised
+（・□・；）	surprised
+∑(;°Д°)	surprised
+(´⊙ω⊙`)！	surprised
+\(*0*)/	surprised
+(^_^;)	embarassed
+(^^ゞ	embarassed
+(^^;)	embarassed
+(#^.^#)	embarassed, kiss
+(‘-’*)	embarassed
+(*^^*)	embarassed
+(⌒_⌒;)	embarassed
+(#｀ε´#ゞ	embarassed
+（*/∇＼*）	embarassed
+(〃￣ω￣〃ゞ	embarassed
+(*´ｪ｀*)	embarassed
+(*´∀`*)	embarassed
+(*´_ゝ｀)	embarassed
+(/ω＼)	embarassed
+(*ﾉ▽ﾉ)	embarassed
+(*ﾉωﾉ)	embarassed
+（/｡＼)	embarassed
+（。-＿-。）	embarassed
+(#／。＼#)	embarassed
+(╯_╰)	embarassed
+(╯ಊ╰)	embarassed
+(ﾉ)´∀｀(ヾ)	embarassed
+(*/ω＼*)	embarassed
+\(//∇//)\\	embarassed
+(*ﾟｰﾟ)ゞ	embarassed
+\(///Σ///)\\	embarassed
+（//･_･//)	embarassed
+(⊙﹏⊙✿)	embarassed, crazy
+(<o///v>)	embarassed
+(´･_･`)	confused
+(◎_◎;)	confused
+(｀_´)ゞ	confused
+(◎-◎；)	confused
+(・_・ヾ	confused
+(￣(エ)￣)ゞ	confused
+(-_-)ゞ゛	confused
+(‘◇’)?	confused
+ヽ(゜Q。)ノ？	confused
+(´｀;) ？	confused
+【・ヘ・?】	confused
+【・_・?】	confused
+( ・◇・)？	confused
+(゜-゜)	confused
+ヾ(´･ ･｀｡)ノ”	confused
+｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)	confused
+( ?´_ゝ｀)	confused
+o(´^｀)o	confused, smug
+(´−｀) ﾝｰ	confused
+(」ﾟヘﾟ)」	confused
+(•ิ_•ิ)?	confused
+「(°ヘ°)	confused
+(。ヘ°)	confused, crazy
+〈(゜。゜)	confused
+(゜。゜)	confused
+く（＾_・）ゝ	confused
+(^～^;)ゞ	confused
+٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶	confused, surprised
+٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶	confused, angry
+(⊙_◎)	confused, crazy
+ಠ_ರೃ	confused, stare
+щ(ºДºщ)	confused
+﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿	confused
+ఠ_ఠ	confused
+(●__●)	confused
+(ﾟｰﾟ;	confused
+(●´ω｀●)ゞ	confused
+(＃⌒∇⌒＃)ゞ	confused
+(・・。)ゞ	confused
+⁀⊙﹏☉⁀	confused, crazy
+(♠_♦)	confused, crazy
+(⊙_☉)	confused
+(⊙.☉)7	confused
+`(๑ △ ๑)`*	confused, crazy
+(」ﾟﾛﾟ)｣	confused
+(C_C)	confused
+ー(￣～￣)ξ	smug
+(((￣へ￣井)	smug
+(`へ´*)ノ	smug
+(￣^￣)	smug
+（￣へ￣）	smug
+（￣～￣;）	smug
+(￣ェ￣;)	smug
+(-、-)	smug
+( ；｀ヘ´)	smug
+(￣ω￣;)	smug
+（｀＾´）ノ	smug
+<(￣︶￣)>	smug
+(=^･ｪ･^=)	cat
+(=^‥^=)	cat
+(=^･^=)	cat
+V(=^･ω･^=)v	cat
+(=｀ω´=)	cat
+o(^・x・^)o	cat
+＼(=^‥^)/’`	cat
+( =①ω①=)	cat
+d(=^･ω･^=)b	cat
+(=ＴェＴ=)	cat
+(=;ェ;=)	cat
+(=^･ω･^)y＝	cat
+(^-人-^)	cat
+ヽ(^‥^=ゞ)	cat, dance
+(^・ω・^ )	cat
+(=^-ω-^=)	cat
+b(=^‥^=)o	cat
+(.=^・ェ・^=)	cat
+（=´∇｀=）	cat
+ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ	cat
+~(=^‥^)ノ	cat
+~(=^‥^)/	cat
+(=ｘェｘ=)	cat, dead
+(=；ェ；=)	cat
+(=｀ェ´=)	cat
+(^･o･^)ﾉ”	cat
+(^._.^)ﾉ	cat
+└(=^‥^=)┐	cat, dance
+=’①。①’=	cat
+ㅇㅅㅇ	cat
+(・∀・)	cat
+(^人^)	cat
+(￣(エ)￣)	bear
+(｡･ω･｡)	bear
+(●｀･(ｴ)･´●)	bear
+(*ノ・ω・）	bear
+川´･ω･`川	bear
+( (ﾐ´ω`ﾐ))	bear
+ヾ(T(エ)Tヽ)	bear
+＼(・｀(ｪ)・)/	bear
+⊂(ο･㉨･ο）⊃	bear
+(^(エ)^)	bear
+(^(I)^)	bear
+(￣(ｴ)￣)ﾉ	bear, wave
+⊂(￣(工)￣)⊃	bear
+⊂(^(工)^)⊃	bear
+⊂(・(ェ)・)⊃	bear
+(*￣(ｴ)￣*)	bear
+ヾ(´(ｴ)｀ﾉﾞ	bear, wave
+(／(ｴ)＼)	bear
+⊂(￣(ｴ)￣)⊃	bear
+“(`(エ)´)ノ	bear, wave
+(｀(エ)´)ﾉ	bear
+(ó㉨ò)	bear
+(/-(ｴ)-＼)	bear
+(´(エ)｀)	bear
+ヽ(￣(ｴ)￣)ﾉ	bear
+(／￣(ｴ)￣)／	bear
+⊂(◎(工)◎)⊃	bear
+(●￣(ｴ)￣●)	bear
+《/(￣(ｴ)￣)ゞ》	bear
+⁝⁞⁝⁞ʕु•̫͡•ʔु☂⁝⁞⁝⁝	bear
+(✪㉨✪)	bear
+ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ	bear, animal
+(・｀ω´・)	evil
+ψ(｀∇´)ψ	evil
+（｀ー´）	evil
+(｡･｀ω´･｡)	evil
+o(｀ω´*)o	evil
+| ｀Д´|	evil
+(｀ε´)	evil
+(σ-`д･´)	evil
+(｀Д´*)	evil
+（=｀〜´=）	evil
+(ﾒ｀ﾛ´)/	evil
+Ψ(｀▽´)Ψ	evil
+^(#｀∀´)_Ψ	evil
+(*-`ω´- )人	evil
+(ц｀ω´ц*)	evil
+(｀∀´)Ψ	evil
+ψ(*｀ー´)ψ	evil
+Ψ(｀◇´)Ψ	evil
+“ψ(｀∇´)ψ	evil, laugh
+(ーー;)	worried
+( ；´Д｀)	worried
+（；￣ェ￣）	worried
+ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ	worried
+(￣◇￣;)	worried
+（−＿−；）	worried
+(~_~;)	worried
+((*゜Д゜)ゞ”	worried
+(･_-｡ )	worried
+⊙﹏⊙	worried
+ミ●﹏☉ミ	worried, crazy
+(-’๏_๏’-)	worried
+(⊙…⊙ )	worried
+( ´△｀)	worried
+(;° ロ°)	worried
+ヽ（゜ロ゜；）ノ	worried
+（°o°；）	worried
+｡:ﾟ*+;(●´･д･`●);+*ﾟ:｡	worried
+(;´Д`)	worried
+\(￣□￣)\\	worried
+(￣□￣;)!!	worried
+(＠￣Д￣＠；)	worried
+(⊙︿⊙✿)	worried
+(⊙△⊙✿)	worried
+(꒪⌓꒪)	worried
+Σ(ﾟﾛﾟ｣)｣	worried
+Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）	worried
+(ノдヽ)	scared
+ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ	scared
+(／。＼)	scared
+（／_＼）	scared
+（／．＼）	scared
+ヘ（。□°）ヘ	crazy, hurt
+(☉ε　⊙ﾉ)ﾉ	crazy
+＼(●o○;)ノ	crazy
+~(๑ñ﹏ ⊙☆)ノ	crazy
+ヾ (✿＞﹏ ⊙〃)ノ	crazy
+ヽ(｡ゝω・｡)ﾉ	crazy
+ヾ(｡ꏿ﹏ꏿ)ﾉﾞ	crazy
+ヽ(゜Q。)ノ	crazy
+Σ(♡＠﹏ ＠☆)ﾉ”	crazy
+щ (*ㅇ△ Φ☆)ノ	crazy
+ヘ（゜◇、゜）ノ	crazy
+ヘ(゜Д、゜)ノ	crazy, wave
+ヘ(°◇、°)ノ	crazy, wave
+‎( ख़ืིڞ◟྄ख़ืི)	crazy
+ヽ(°▽、°)ﾉ	crazy
+(ּơ̑ළּơ̑)	crazy
+(｡☉౪ ⊙｡)	crazy
+Uo･ｪ･oU	dog
+∪･ω･∪	dog
+U｡･ｪ･｡U	dog
+▽・ω・▽	dog
+▽・ｗ・▽	dog
+Ｕ^皿^Ｕ	dog
+ｖ・。・Ｖ	dog
+ＵＴｪＴＵ	dog
+(^・(I)・^)	dog
+U・♀・U	dog
+ｏ（Ｕ・ω・）⊃	dog
+(^・x・^)	dog
+(U・x・U)	dog
+▼o・ェ・o▼	dog
+U＾ェ＾U	dog
+U￣ｰ￣U	dog
+┌U･ｪ･U┘	dog, dance
+└@(･ｪ･)@┐	dog, monkey, dance
+ヾ(●ω●)ノ	dog
+(〓￣(∵エ∵)￣〓)	dog
+>=<	sea creature
+>゜))))彡	sea creature
+ζ°)))彡	sea creature
+>_)))彡	sea creature
+>^)))< ～～	sea creature
+(°)#))<<	sea creature
+（：。）ミ	sea creature
+Ｃ：。ミ	sea creature
+(Q )) >	sea creature
+(°))<<	sea creature
+>°))))彡	sea creature
+≧〔゜゜〕≦	sea creature
+ミ(・・)ミ	sea creature
+V=(° °)=V	sea creature
+＜コ：ミ	sea creature
+(゜))<<	sea creature
+ミ[°°]ミ	sea creature
+くコ:彡	sea creature
+ミ．．ミ	sea creature
+(/)(;,,;)(/)	sea creature
+@(o･ｪ･)@	monkey
+@(｡･o･)@	monkey
+@(o･ｪ･o)@	monkey
+@(/o･ｪ･o)@/	monkey
+@(*^ｪ^)@	monkey
+( ´(00)`)	pig
+ヾ(；ﾟ(OO)ﾟ)ﾉ	pig
+ヽ(*’(OO)’)ﾉ	pig
+(￣(oo)￣)ﾉ	pig, wave
+(○｀（●●）´○)ﾉ	pig
+(*’(OO)’*)	pig
+(；ﾟ(OO)ﾟ)	pig
+(*´(00)`)’	pig
+ヽ(*’(OO)’)ﾉﾟ	pig
+q(￣(oo)￣)p	pig
+｡ﾟ(ﾟ´(00)`ﾟ)ﾟ｡	pig, cry
+(￣（∞）￣)	pig
+(￣(▽▽)￣)	pig
+(=｀(∞)´=)	pig
+ヾ(＠＾(∞)＾＠)ノ	pig
+（。_°☆＼(- – )	hurt
+(。_＋)＼	hurt
+((((*｡_｡)_	hurt
+(xLx)ヾ	hurt
+(ノ>ノ)	hurt
+｢(＝＞o≦＝)ﾉ	hurt
+/(*ι*)ヾ	hurt
+／(x~x)＼	hurt
+~(>_<~)	hurt
+┗( ●-﹏ ｀｡)づ	hurt
+◎☆（♯××）┘	hurt
+☆￣(＞。☆)	hurt
+☆⌒(＞。≪)	hurt
+ヘ(>_<ヘ)	hurt
+⁽⁽ƈ ͡ (ु ˲̥̥̥́ ˱̥̥̥̀) ु⁾⁾	hurt, cry
+(ू̯⋆̧ ͕⋆᷅ू̯ ) ༘˟	hurt
+U・x・U	rabbit
+U｡･.･｡U	rabbit
+U=･ x ･=U	rabbit
+U=๏ x ๏=U	rabbit
+(,,๏ ⋏ ๏,,)	rabbit
+(•ㅅ•)	rabbit
+(๏ᆺ๏υ)	rabbit
+(ㅇㅅㅇ❀)	rabbit
+／(･ × ･)＼	rabbit
+／(^ x ^)＼	rabbit
+／(^ x ^=)＼	rabbit
+／(=๏ x ๏=)＼	rabbit
+／(=´x`=)＼	rabbit
+／(=∵=)＼	rabbit
+／(=⌒x⌒=)＼	rabbit
+／(=✪ x ✪=)＼	rabbit
+／(≡・ x ・≡)＼	rabbit
+／(≧ x ≦)＼	rabbit
+／(v x v｡)人(｡v x v)＼	rabbit
+／(v x v)＼	rabbit
+⌒(・x・)⌒	rabbit
+⌒(｡･.･｡)⌒	rabbit
+⌒(=･ x ･=)⌒	rabbit
+⌒(=๏ x ๏=)⌒	rabbit
+U ´꓃ ` U	rabbit
+⁽⁽˙˟˙⁾⁾	rabbit
+( °̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥˟°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )	rabbit, cry
+(⁎˃ᆺ˂)	rabbit
+૮⍝◜•˕̮•◝⍝ა	rabbit
+૮( ᵒ̌ૢ௰ᵒ̌ૢ )ა	rabbit
+‎૮(⋆❛ہ❛⋆)ა	rabbit
+( ்̓˟்̓)	rabbit
+(/・・)ノ	dance
+(o´･_･)っ	dance
+(ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ	dance
+(ノ￣ー￣)ノ	dance
+＼(ﾟｰﾟ＼)	dance
+♪(┌・。・)┌	dance
+ヽ(･ω･ゞ)	dance
+ヽ(*ﾟｰﾟ*)ﾉ	dance
+〜(^∇^〜）	dance
+〜(￣△￣〜)	dance
+。(⌒∇⌒。)	dance
+( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉﾟ	dance
+（〜^∇^)〜	dance
+(〜￣△￣)〜	dance
+(。⌒∇⌒)。	dance
+₍₍ ◝(・ω・)◟ ⁾⁾	dance
+((┌|o^▽^o|┘))♪	dance
+(*ﾉ´□`)ﾉ	dance
+(ˇ_ˇ”) ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐ ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ ┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ	dance
+(~‾⌣‾)~	dance
+(~‾▿‾)~	dance
+(~’.’)~	dance
+(~￣▽￣)~	dance
+(~˘▾˘)~	dance
+(┌ﾟдﾟ)┌	dance
+(o^^)o	dance
+(ﾉ･o･)ﾉ	dance
+(ノ‥)ノ	dance
+(ノ´＿ゝ｀）ノ	dance
+(ノ^_^)ノ	dance
+(ノ^o^)ノ	dance
+(ノ￣ω￣)ノ	dance
+(ノ°ο°)ノ	dance
+(ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ	dance
+〈( ^.^)ノ	dance
+\(._.\\) ƪ(‘-’ ƪ)(ʃ ‘-’)ʃ (/._.)/	dance
+＼(^ω^＼)	dance
+~(‾⌣‾~)	dance
+~(‾▿‾)~	dance
+~(‾▿‾~)	dance
+~(‘.’~)	dance
+~(˘▾˘)~	dance
+~(˘▾˘~)	dance
+┌(・。・)┘♪	dance
+┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ	dance
+┌（★ｏ☆）┘	dance
+┌(ﾟдﾟ)┘	dance
+┌|゜з゜｜┘	dance
+┌|°з°|┘	dance
+┏((＝￣(ｴ)￣=))┛	dance
+┏(｀ー´)┛	dance
+┏(＾0＾)┛	dance
+┐(ﾟдﾟ┐)	dance
+└(^o^)┐	dance
+└（★ｏ★）┐	dance
+└(ﾟдﾟ)┐	dance
+└｜゜ε゜｜┐	dance
+└|°ε°|┐	dance
+┗(｀ー´)┓	dance
+┗(＾0＾)┓	dance
+♪((└|o^▽^o|┐))	dance
+ヽ( °◇°)ノ	dance
+ヾ(-_- )ゞ	dance
+ヾ(･ω･*)ﾉ	dance
+ヾ(*´∇`)ﾉ	dance
+ヽ(*´Д｀*)ﾉ	dance
+ヾ（*⌒ヮ⌒*）ゞ	dance
+ヾ(*д*)ﾉ	dance
+ヾ(^ ^ゞ	dance
+ヾ(^^ゞ)	dance
+ヽ(°◇° )ノ	dance
+ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟゞ)	dance
+ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪	dance, fun
+ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬	dance
+ヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ)	dance
+o(^^o)	dance
+ƪ(‾.‾“)┐	dance
+ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐	dance
+ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ	dance
+ヘ(^_^ヘ)	dance, fun, happy
+ヘ(^o^ヘ)	dance
+ヘ(￣ー￣ヘ)	dance, surrender
+ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)	dance
+(Ɔ˘⌣˘)(˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ C)	hug
+(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ	hug, kiss
+＼(^o^)／	hug, music
+٩꒰ ˘ ³˘꒱۶ⒽⓤⒼ♥♡̷♡̷	hug
+(╯3╰)	kiss
+(-ε- )	kiss, love
+(TεT)	kiss
+✧˖°ˈ·*ε-(๑˃́ε˂̀๑ )	kiss
+|(￣3￣)|	kiss
+|°з°|	kiss, love
+ϵ( ‘Θ’ )϶	kiss
+애❣⃛ღсμтёღ♡(˘ᵋ ˘ )	kiss
+（＿ε＿）	kiss
+（。ˇ ⊖ˇ）	kiss
+(‘ε’)	kiss
+（＠ーεー＠）	kiss, love
+（*＾3＾）	kiss, love
+（*＾3＾）/～☆	kiss
+(*￣з￣)	kiss
+(´ε｀*)	kiss
+（￣ε￣＠）	kiss
+(~￣³￣)~	kiss
+(○´3｀)ﾉ	kiss, wave
+（○゜ε＾○）	kiss, wink
+(☆´3｀)	kiss
+(ΘεΘ;)	kiss
+(ΦзΦ)	kiss
+(ु*´З`)ू❣	kiss
+～(^з^)-☆	kiss
+ヽ(*´з｀*)ﾉ	kiss, music
+(≡ε≡；)	kiss
+(。´✷ฺЗ✷ฺ)・;゛.:’;、	kiss
+(。≖ˇ3ˇ≖｡)	kiss
+(っ˘зʕ•̫͡•ʔcнϋෆ*	kiss
+ヾ(❛ε❛“)ʃ	kiss
+(๑ᵕॢ૩ᵕॢ)*౨˚ൗ	kiss
+♡´͈ॢ ᵌˋ͈ॢꉧ´͈ॢᵋ ˋ͈ॢ♡	kiss
+<ब₍₍( ˃̗εू˂ )₎₎<ब	kiss
+( ˘•૩•˘ ).｡oஇ	kiss
+˓( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ )˒˒	kiss
+(*´艸`*)	laugh
+(●´艸`)	laugh
+｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡	laugh
+( ´艸｀)	laugh
+（・∀・）	laugh
+(；-◞౪◟-)	laugh
+(｡ >艸<)	laugh
+(*・艸・)	laugh
+(*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ))	laugh
+(*≧艸≦)	laugh
+（⌒▽⌒）	laugh
+(◎ヮ◎)	laugh
+ʕ̡̢̡̡̢̡̡̢♡ᵒ̴̷͈艸ᵒ̴̷͈॰ʔ̢̡̢̢̡̢̢̡̢✧	laugh
+Σ (੭ु ຶਊ ຶ)੭ु⁾⁾	laugh
+(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖	laugh
+(* ˚᷄ 艸 ˚᷅ *)	laugh
+∗˚೫˳(●ᴖ͙̏ᴗॢᴖ͙̋●)˳೫˚∗	laugh
+(੭ु റ̆ ˒̫̮ റ̥)੭ु⁾⁾	laugh
+(˃̴̀ᄇॢ˂̴́ ∗)	laugh, think
+＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)_	sleep
+(´〜｀*) zzz	sleep
+(ι´Д｀)ﾉ	sleep
+_(：3 」∠ )_	sleep
+_(┐「ε:)_	sleep
+- =͟͟͞͞ (¦3[▓▓])	sleep
+( -_-)>c[_]	sleep
+(_ _)ヾ(‘ロ‘)	sleep
+(-_-) zzz	sleep
+(-, – )…zzzZZZ	sleep
+(-ｪ-)｡o	sleep
+(;´ρ`)	sleep
+(:3[▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓]	sleep
+(。-ω-)zzz	sleep
+₍₍ ᕕ( ･᷄ὢ･᷅ )ᕗ⁾⁾	sleep
+₍₍ ᕕ(´ ω` )ᕗ⁾⁾	sleep
+（)´д`(）	sleep
+(*-ω-)	sleep
+(*´ο`*)	sleep
+(´～`)	sleep
+（´□｀川）	sleep
+(o´Д`)	sleep
+(ᴗ˳ᴗ)	sleep
+(ᵕ≀ ̠ᵕ )	sleep
+［(－－)］zzz	sleep
+{zzz}°°°( -_-)>c[_]	sleep
+【:εω	sleep
+＼（´Ｏ｀）／	sleep
+＼(o￣∇￣o)/	sleep
+˓(¦:ɝ[▓▓]	sleep
+∑(￣□￣)	sleep
+ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂ	sleep
+ヾ(￣□￣;)ﾉ	sleep
+ヾ(￣0￣； )ノ	sleep
+ƪ(‾￣o￣”)ʃ	sleep
+ƪ(΄◞ิ۝◟ิ‵)ʃ	sleep
+(:˒[￣]	sleep
+(∪｡∪)｡｡｡zzz	sleep
+(▰˘o˘▰)	sleep
+ε-(´・｀)	sleep
+Σ(￣。￣ノ)ノ	sleep
+(≚ᄌ≚)ƶƵ	sleep
+(-ι_- )))。。。	sleep
+٩(´Д` ;)۶:.*	sleep
+‎٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و	sleep
+‎*｡٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧*｡	sleep
+♪٩(✿′ᗜ‵✿)۶♪	music
+(๑´▿｀๑)♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪✧	music
+(*´∀｀)ﾉ☊ฺ ▂ฺ ▃ฺ ▄ฺ ▅ฺ ▆ฺ ▇ฺ █	music
+(；◔ิз◔ิ)～♪♬	music
+(((*°▽°*)八(*°▽°*)))♪	music
+(*￣0￣)θ～♪	music
+(*゜▽゜ノノ゛☆	music
+(*⌒▽⌒*)θ～♪	music
+(\˳˘ ɜ˘)˳ ♬♪♫	music
+(´△｀)♪	music
+(´▽｀)ノ♪	music
+(´0ﾉ｀*)	music
+（^[]＾）／♪	music
+（＾3＾♪	music
+（＾Ｏ＾☆♪	music
+(ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪	music
+(ﾉ> ◇ <)ﾉ♪	music
+｢(;´Σ ｀〃)ヘ	music
+˳/(˘ε ˘)♬♪♫	music
+┐(・。・┐) ♪	music
+♪( ´θ｀)ノ	music
+♪(´ε｀ )	music
+♪♪(o*゜∇゜)o～♪♪	music
+♪♪)>ш=(^。^ )	music
+♪ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )v ♪	music
+♬♪♫ ヾ(*・。・)ﾉ ♬♪♫	music
+♬♫♪◖(●。●)◗♪♫♬	music
+ヾ(・◇・)ﾉθ～♪	music
+ヽ(´・｀)ﾉ	music
+ヾ(´□｀* )ノ	music
+ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪	music
+ヾ(´〇｀)ﾉ	music
+ヾ(´ρ｀)〃	music
+ヽ(´Д｀)人(´Д｀)人(´Д｀)ノ	music
+ヽ(´Д｀ヽ	music
+♪~♪ ヽ໒(⌒o⌒)७ﾉ ♪~♪	music
+(ෆ❛ั▿❛ัʃƪ)♩°:::	music
+♬˚‧◟₍◌′ ॄ‵◌₎◞•˚♬	music
+✿♬ﾟ+.(｡◡‿◡)♪.+ﾟ♬✿。	music
+♪(o´▽｀o)ﾉ	music
+ヽ(○´∀`)ﾉ♪	music
+ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ(*￣o￣*)>ヽ｀、ヽ｀	music
+♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪	music
+ʕ•̫͡•ʔ♬✧	music
+♬♩˂₍͔⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎͔˃ ͟͟͞͞≣͟ ͟͟͞͞˂₍͕⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎͕˃♪♫	music
+ᒄ₍⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎ᒃ♪♬	music
+♪(o^0^)o♪	music
+♪～(´ε｀　)	music
+( ง ´◇｀)ง♪	music
+(¬ω¬)	think
+( ¬_¬)	think
+(∩⌣̀_⌣́)	think
+(ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ)	think
+<(¬＿¬<)	think
+m(￢0￢)m	think, sorry
+(－‸ლ)	think, sad
+(•᷉ुε ू•᷈,)	think
+๐छ ੂछ๐	think
+눈_눈	think
+Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)	think
+(.﹒︣︿﹒︣.)	think
+( ･᷄ㅂ･᷅ )	think
+( ᵕ́ૢ‧̮ᵕ̀ૢ)‧̊·*	think
+(๑•̆૩•̆)	think
+(,, ･∀･)ﾉ゛	wave
+(;-_-)/	wave, surrender
+(｡･ω･)ﾉﾞ	wave
+(。･д･)ﾉﾞ	wave
+(｡´∀｀)ﾉ	wave
+(/・0・)	wave
+(´・ω・)ﾉ	wave
+(￣∠ ￣ )ﾉ	wave
+(=ﾟωﾟ)ノ	wave
+(ノ^∇^)	wave
+＼(°o°；）	wave
+ヽ(´･ω･`)､	wave
+( ・_・)ノ	wave
+( ･ω･)ﾉ	wave
+( ^_^)／	wave
+（ ゜ρ゜)ノ	wave
+( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/	wave
+(;-_-)ノ	wave, surrender
+(。-ω-)ﾉ	wave, surrender
+(。^_・)ノ	wave, wink
+(*^･ｪ･)ﾉ	wave
+(*＾▽＾)／	wave
+(*￣Ｏ￣)ノ	wave
+(^ Q ^)/	wave
+(^-^*)/	wave
+(^o^)/	wave
+(￣▽￣)ノ	wave
+(=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ	wave
+(o・・o)/	wave
+(o´ω`o)ﾉ	wave
+(ﾉ´∀｀*)ﾉ	wave
+@(o・ェ・)@ノ	wave
+＼( ･_･)	wave
+＼(-_- )	wave
+＼(-o- )	wave, surrender
+＼（＾∀＾）メ（＾∀＾）ノ	wave
+＼(＾▽＾*)	wave
+＼(￣O￣)	wave
+~(＾◇^)/	wave, wink
+~ヾ ＾∇＾	wave
+~ヾ(＾∇＾)	wave
+╭(°ﾛ°”)╯	wave
+ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ	wave
+ヾ( ‘ – ‘*)	wave
+ヾ(-_-;)	wave, surrender
+ヽ(･∀･)ﾉ	wave
+ヾ(･ω･`｡)	wave
+ヾ(・ω・ｏ)	wave
+ヾ(｡･ω･｡)	wave
+ヾ(｡´･_●･`｡)☆	wave
+ヽ(๏∀๏ )ﾉ	wave
+ヾ(´･ω･｀)	wave
+ヾ(´￢｀)ﾉ	wave
+ヾ(＾-＾)ノ	wave
+ヾ(＾∇＾)	wave
+ヽ(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)ﾉ	wave
+ヽ(ﾟ◇ﾟ )ﾉ	wave
+ヾ(◜▿‾ 三 ‾▿◝)ﾉ	wave
+ヾ(☆▽☆)	wave
+ヘ(‘◇’、)/	wave
+ヘ(°￢°)ノ	wave
+ヾ(oﾟｘﾟo)ﾉ	wave
+(^ _ ^)/	wave
+(。･∀･)ﾉ	wave
+且_(ﾟ◇ﾟ；)ノﾞ	wave
+ﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟ*)ﾉ	wave
+(･ｪ-)	wink
+(－ｏ⌒)	wink
+（＾＿－）	wink
+(^_-)	wink
+（＾_-）	wink
+（＾＿－）≡★	wink
+（＾＿・）	wink
+（＾＿−）	wink
+(^_−)☆	wink
+(⌒.−)＝★	wink
+(o‿∩)	wink
+＼（^０＾）／	wink
+๏[-ิ_•ิ]๏	wink, animal, monkey
+☆～（ゝ。∂）	wink
+d(-_^)	wink, fun
+ｍ（＿　＿；；ｍ	sorry, dead
+_:(´□`」 ∠):_	sorry
+(シ_ _)シ	sorry
+（ﾉ´д｀）	sorry
+<(_ _)>	sorry
+＜(。_。)＞	sorry
+m(_ _)m	sorry
+m(._.)m	sorry
+ｍ（．＿．）ｍ	sorry
+・゜・(ノД`)	cry
+.・゜゜・（／。＼）・゜゜・．	cry
+(oT-T)尸	cry, surrender
+.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.	cry
+｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡	cry
+。：゜(；´∩｀；)゜：。	cry
+｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡	cry
+(-̩̩-̩̩͡_-̩̩-̩̩͡)	cry
+(-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)	cry
+(*´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥﹏°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )人(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)	cry
+(/ _ ; )	cry, surrender
+(´；Д；｀)	cry
+（πーπ）	cry
+(இ﹏இ`｡)	cry
+༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽	cry, troll
+༼ ༏༏ີཻ༾ﾍ ༏༏ີཻ༾༾༽༽	cry, troll
+❣◕ ‿ ◕❣	cry
+o(TヘTo)	cry
+(　-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ )	cry
+(づ-̩̩̩-̩̩̩_-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)づ	cry
+( ͒ ඉ .̫ ඉ ͒)	cry
+‎ლ(ٱ٥ٱლ)	cry
+Ψ(●°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ ཅ °̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥●)Ψ	cry
+(●⌇ຶ ཅ⌇ຶ●)	cry
+( •́દ•̩̥̀ )	cry
+(ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ)	cry
+(๑′̥̥̥▵‵̥̥̥ ૂ๑)	cry
+(๑•́₋•̩̥̀๑)	cry
+‎⁽ƈ ͡ (ुŏ̥̥̥̥םŏ̥̥̥̥) ु	cry
+…(•̩̩̩̩＿•̩̩̩̩)	cry
+°(ಗдಗ。)°.	cry
+˚‧⁺(͘๑̊/﹏\)⁺‧˚	cry
+̨(༎ິ῀̫ ༎ິ ̨ )͞˭̳̳̳˭̳̳̳ˍ̿̿ˍ̿ˌ˳ˏ̇⋅∴༣	cry, run
+(≖͞_≖̥)	cry, dead
+.°(ಗдಗ。)°.	cry
+(๑˃̥̩̥̥̥̥̆ಐ˂̩̩̥̥̩̥̆৭)	cry
+‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )	cry
+ƈ ͡ (ुŏ̥̥̥̥ ‸ ŏ̥̥̥̥) ु	cry
+ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(；　・＿・)┘	run
+⊂(‘ω’⊂ )))Σ≡=─༄༅༄༅༄༅༄༅༄༅	run
+ε===(っ≧ω≦)っ	run
+ε=ε=┏( >_<)┛	run
+ε=ε=ε=┌(๑ʘ∀ʘ)┘	run
+ε=ε=ε=ε=┏(;￣▽￣)┛	run
+°◦=͟͟͞͞ʕ̡̢̡ु•̫͡•ʔ̡̢̡ु ☏	run
+- =͟͟͞͞ =͟͟͞͞ ﾍ( ´Д`)ﾉ	run
+ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(๑ʘ∀ʘ)┘	run
+=͟͟͞͞( ∩ ‘ヮ’=͟͟͞͞) ੭ु⁾⁾	run
+‎૮(”ړ ა)͞=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞=͟͟͞͞ #	run
+ε=ε=(怒ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ	run
+ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ=3=3=3	run
+=͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ =͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ =͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ =͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ =͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ	run
+─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ	run
+C= C= C= C= C= C= C= C= C= ┌(;・ω・)┘	run
+(ↀДↀ)⁼³₌₃	run
+‎৫(”ړ৫)˒˒˒˒	run
+=͟͟͞͞(๑•̀=͟͟͞͞(๑•̀д•́=͟͟͞͞(๑•̀д•́๑)=͟͟͞͞(๑•̀д•́)))	run
+ε=ε=(っ*´□`)っ	run
+─=≡Σ(([ ⊐•̀⌂•́]⊐	run
+(一。一;;）	surrender
+(　-。-)	surrender
+(-_＼)	surrender
+(;*´Д`)ﾉ	surrender
+((-_-))	surrender
+(@_@)	surrender
+（~～~）	surrender
+（◎ー◎；）	surrender
+（ー△ー；）	surrender
+(o_ _)o	surrender
+(ﾉ_ _)ﾉ	surrender
+(ノ#-_-)ノ	surrender
+(ﾉ￣д￣)ﾉ	surrender
+(￣^￣)尸	surrender
+/(;-_-)	surrender
+＼(-___________-;)／	surrender
+＼（－－）／	surrender
+~(>_<。)＼	surrender
+o(-_-;*)	surrender
+ƪ(‾_‾)ʃ	surrender
+y-(~。~；)	surrender
+ヘ(_ _ヘ)	surrender
+ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ)	surrender
+ヘ（´ｏ｀）ヘ	surrender
+ﾍ(￣ ￣;ﾍ)	surrender
+彡(-_-;)彡	surrender, dead
+＿φ( °-°)/	write
+＿φ(°-°=)	write
+φ(．．;)	write
+φ(^∇^ )	write
+φ(◎◎ヘ)	write
+ψ(。。)	write
+___ψ(‥ )	write
+＿φ(￣ー￣ )	write
+ණ⃛(ᵒ͈̑ᴗ̂ᵒ͈̑ )”	write
+＿〆(。。)	write
+(‘•̀ ▽ •́ )φ	write
+φ(・ω・｀ )	write
+φ(._.)	write
+φ（．．）	write
+φ(￣ー￣ )ノ	write
+φ(°ρ°*)メ	write
+〆(・∀・＠)	write
+〆(´Ｕ_｀*)	write
+φ(^ω^*)ﾉ	write
+…φ(o´ωﾟo)φ…	write
+σ(ൈ)φ	write
+໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७✎▤	write
+[≡] 〆(・⺫・‶)	write
+(๑╹o╹)φ	write
+†=”Ⴛ̸ ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ༶ )	write
+ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ	troll
+(((༼•̫͡•༽)))	troll
+‎ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ	troll
+༼(⁽͇ˊ̑⁾ ἴृ ⁽ˋ̑⁾͇)༽	troll
+(ી(΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)ʃ)	troll
+༼ ͒ ͓ ͒༽	troll
+༼ ͒ ̶ ͒༽	troll
+༼･ิɷ･ิ༽	troll
+(̿▀̿ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)̄	troll
+༼༼;; ;°;ਊ°;༽	troll
+༼•͟ ͜ •༽	troll
+༼•̃͡ ɷ•̃͡༽	troll
+༼∵༽	troll
+༼≖ɷ≖༽	troll
+༼⍢༽	troll
+༼⍤༽	troll
+༼⍨༽	troll
+༼✷ɷ✷༽	troll
+˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚	troll
+༼ԾɷԾ༽	troll
+༼இɷஇ༽	troll
+༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ ༽	troll
+˓ ू༼ ்ͦ॔ཀ ்ͦ॓ू༽	troll
+༼ ु ்ͦ॔ཫ ்ͦ॓༽ु˒˒	troll
+૮(ㅍ◞◟ㅍ)ა	troll
+ཥ•̫͡•ཤ	troll
+♡(•ི̛ᴗ•̛)ྀ	troll
+♡*(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡⋆*ೃ:.✧	troll
+ˁ ¨̫͌ ˀ	troll
+(✖╭╮✖)	dead
+(u_u)	dead
+(*_*)	dead
+(＊0＊;)	dead
+(#+_+)	dead
+(+_+)	dead
+(×_×;）	dead
+(×_×#	dead
+(ñ_ñ)	dead
+(o_-)	dead
+(º_º)	dead
+（x_x；）	dead
+（Ω_Ω）	dead
+✘Д✘◍	dead
+ヾ(×× ) ﾂ	dead
+٩(×̯×)۶	dead
+Σ(๑+⌓ o｡)シ	dead
+へ（>_<へ)	dead
+(｡´✚ฺω✚ฺ｀｡)	dead
+(｡≍ฺ‿ฺ≍ฺ)	dead
+╭( ✖_✖ )╮	dead
+• º–π–º •	animal, stare
+<(:,..,:)>	animal
+\(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥	fun, love
+♪ (｡´＿●`)ﾉ┌iiii┐ヾ(´○＿`*) ♪	fun, music
+( *∀*)y─┛	happy
+ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ	fun, happy
+(°◡°♡).:｡	animal, love
+(๑′ᴗ‵๑)	animal
+(`･ω･´)	animal, pig, stare
+Ɛ:[,,_,,]=~	animal, cat, fun
+[^._.^]ﾉ彡	animal, happy
+◎ヽ(^･ω･^=)~	animal, cat
+( ;,;)	animal
+(⊙ω⊙)	animal
+:(¦)	animal
+ϵ( 'Θ' )϶	animal, stare
+(◕(' 人 ') ◕)	animal
+┗[© ♒ ©]┛ ︵ ┻━┻	table flip
+┻━┻ ︵ ლ(⌒-⌒ლ)	happy, table flip
+ʇǝʞɔɐɹq ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ǝʞup	table flip
+(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻	table flip
+┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)	table flip
+(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ ┻━┻	table flip
+(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ ︵ ╯(°□° ╯)	table flip
+┬─┬ ︵ /(.□. \）	table flip
+‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻	table flip
+(ノ^_^)ノ┻━┻ ┬─┬ ノ( ^_^ノ)	table flip
+(╯°Д°）╯︵ /(.□ . \)	table flip
+(╯'□')╯︵ ┻━┻	cry, table flip
+(ﾉಥДಥ)ﾉ︵┻━┻･/	table flip
+(/ .□.)\ ︵╰(゜Д゜)╯︵ /(.□. \\)	table flip
+(._.) ~ ︵ ┻━┻	table flip
+(｡´ ‿｀♡)	happy, love
+♥‿♥	love
+｡◕ ‿ ◕｡	happy
+๏◡๏	fun
+\m/...(>.<)…\\m/	fun, music
+（　＾）／占~~~~~	fun
+(／_^)／ 　　　　●　＼(^_＼)	fun
+(／o^)/ °⊥ ＼(^o＼)	fun
+ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ(*￣o￣*)♩♫♪ヽ｀、ヽ｀	fun, happy
+（*＾＾）/~~~~◎	fun
+(*・_・)ノ⌒*`*`*	fun
+◉‿◉	fun, happy
+¯\_◉‿◉_/¯	fun, happy, whatever
+|ʘ‿ʘ)╯	fun, wave
+(~^.^)~	fun
+‎(Ò囗Óױ)	angry
+￢o(￣-￣ﾒ)	angry
+―(T_T)→	dead
+（〃・・〃）	confused, love, stare
+¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯	whatever, stare
+(  ⚆ _ ⚆ )	stare
+(´ ▽｀).。ｏ♥♡	love
+(*⸰‿-) (☉_☉) (-‿◦☀)	love
+ノ(ジ)ー'	love
+--,--`--,{@	love
+(╥﹏╥)	cry, sad
+♒((⇀‸↼))♒	think
+('∀'●)♡	happy, love
+(^_^ '')	happy
+d( - ‸ - )b	sad
+◔̯︵◔	music, sad
+(っ- ‸ -)っ	sad
+(っ- ‸ - ς)	sad
+● ﹏☉	sad
+(◞‸◟；)	sad
+(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)	love, sad
+₍₍ ᕕ(´◓⌓◔)ᕗ⁾⁾	sad
+˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎)	sad
+(*・)σσσ(*゜Д゜*)	sad
+óò	sad
+( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯	sad
+人人人ヾ( ;×o×)〃 人人人	sad
+(///.-)	sad
+[ ± _ ± ]	sad
+༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽	cry, sad
+(ʃ˘̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)	cry, sad
+┐('～`；)┌	sad, whatever
+[#´Д`]	sad
+(●´⌓`●)	sad
+＠ノ"	animal
+(”)(”)	animal, rabbit
+/|\( ;,;)/|\\	animal
+ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄	animal
+<コ:彡	animal
+O(∩_∩)O	animal, happy, monkey
+ʕ•̫͡•ʕ*̫͡*ʕ•͓͡•ʔ-̫͡-ʕ•̫͡•ʔ*̫͡*ʔ	animal, bear, fun
+3:*)	animal
+(ू ͒•‧̫•ू⑅ ͒)	animal, cat
+⸜(ᶿ᷇ധᶿ᷆)⸝	animal
+(=˘ϖ˘=)	animal, rabbit
+(ृʾ́꒳ʿ̀ ृ　)ु	animal, cat
+ʕ　·ᴥ·ʔ　ʕ·ᴥ·　ʔ	animal, bear
+(〠_〠)	stare
+( ఠ ⚇̭ ఠ )	love
+(   ° ᴗ°)~ð  (/❛o❛\)	love
+웃❤유	love
+し(*・∀・)／♡＼(・∀・*) ///	love, happy
+ೖ(σ̑˽σ̑)ೖ	love, stare
+‎(๑╹ڡ╹)╭ ～ ♡	love
+*⁂((✪⥎✪))⁂*	love
+(ɔ˘з˘)ɔ	love
+(*°∀°)=<3	love
+\|°▿▿▿▿°|/	happy
+(●°u°●)​ 」	fun, happy, wave
+╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭	happy, whatever
+=＾● ⋏ ●＾=	animal, cat
+~=[,,_,,]:3	animal, cat, fun
+(=^ェ^=)	animal, cat, happy
+(・ω・)	animal, stare
+(・3・)	animal, stare
+(・ε・)	animal, stare
+ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ	animal, bear
+人◕ ‿‿ ◕人	animal
+( ́・ω・`)	animal, pig, stare
+(｀◔ ω ◔´)	animal, pig
+<º))))><	animal, sea creature
+<(-'.'-)>	animal
+(V) (°,,,,°) (V)	animal
+(◕〝◕)	stare
+¯\_(⌣̯̀⌣́)_/¯	whatever
+(。♋‸♋｡)	confused
+| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)	fun, happy
+└[∵┌]└[ ∵ ]┘[┐∵]┘	fun, happy
+(^__^)v	fun, happy
+（。々°）	fun
+（°々。）	fun
+(◐‿◑)	crazy, fun, happy
+✌(-‿-)✌	fun, happy
+ლ(o◡oლ)	fun, happy
+(ﾉ^_^)ﾉ	fun, happy
+(ノ・∀・)ノ	fun, happy
+＼(＾O＾)／	fun, happy
+(ó ì_í)=óò=(ì_í ò)	fun
+ヽ(^o^)ρ┳┻┳°σ(^o^)/	fun
+(>'.')>=O____l_*__O=<('.'<)	fun
+‎(ˆڡˆ)v	fun, happy
+♪┏(・o･)┛♪┗ ( ･o･) ┓♪	fun, music
+-(ˆ▿ˆ)/ \(ˆ▿ˆ)-	fun
+ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)	troll
+‎(ÒДÓױ)	angry
+(⌯⚈ै〰̇⚈ै)	stare, happy
+(• ε •)	stare
+┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘	stare
+( Ո‿Ո)	happy
+( ⧉ ⦣ ⧉ )	confused
+┐(´-｀)┌	whatever
+┐( ˘_˘)┌	whatever
+¯\_(シ)_/¯	whatever
+¯\(º_o)/¯	whatever
+(⊙＿⊙')	stare
+(•̯͡.•̯͡)‎​	stare
+•(ㅅ)•	bear
+◦°˚\(*❛‿❛)/˚°◦	happy
+ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ	write, happy
+(┛^_^)┛彡<ǝlqɐʇ>	table flip

From 9a602a83bdb402bba6c5a8618a1956208d6890af Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2021 21:35:40 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 36/79] Add JokesService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/JokesService.java        | 135 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java      |  17 +++
 2 files changed, 152 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..dd782de3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,135 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.CharactersThatBreakEclipse;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.List;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class JokesService {
+
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    final List<String> memes = generateMemes();
+    final List<String> dances = generateDances();
+    final List<String> chucks = generateChucks();
+    final List<String> containerJokes = generateContainerJokes();
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(".*container.*")
+    public String onContainerMessage() {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(containerJokes);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage(".*[rR][eE][dD][dD][iI][tT].*")
+    public String onRedditMessage() {
+        if (randomProvider.getRandomInt(10) > 6) {
+            return CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT;
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!randommeme")
+    public String onRandomMeme() {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(memes);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!dance")
+    public String onDance() {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(dances);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!chuck")
+    public String onChuckNorris() {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(chucks);
+    }
+
+    private static List<String> generateChucks()
+    {
+        List<String> chucks = new ArrayList<>();
+
+        // Anyone called Chuck except Chuck Norris
+
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Palahniuk once said, \"Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Tanner once said, \"If you don't like the way the Atlanta Braves are playing then you don't like baseball.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Berry once said, \"Roll over, Beethoven, and tell Tchaikovsky the news.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Yeager once said, \"Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Klosterman once said, \"I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not your enemy.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Jones once said, \"A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Close once said, \"I'm very learning-disabled, and I think it drove me to what I'm doing.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck D once said, \"I think governments are the cancer of civilization.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Knox once said, \"Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.\"" );
+        chucks.add( "Chuck Zito once said, \"If the challenge to fight was there, I always took it.\"" );
+
+        return chucks;
+    }
+
+    private static List<String> generateDances()
+    {
+        List<String> dances = new ArrayList<String>();
+
+        dances.add( "No. " + CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT );
+        dances.add( "Bots as vile as I do not dance." );
+        dances.add( "ScumbagBot does not dance." );
+        dances.add( "Chuck Norris once asked me to dance. He didn't have a comeback after the roundhouse kickban." );
+        dances.add( CharactersThatBreakEclipse.KIRBYFLIP + "\n*kills Kirby*\n*kills dance*" );
+        dances.add( "Does doing a barrel roll count?" );
+
+        return dances;
+    }
+
+    private static List<String> generateMemes()
+    {
+        List<String> memes = new ArrayList<>();
+
+        memes.add( CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT );
+        memes.add( "Derp." );
+        memes.add( "looks like this string was, *puts on glasses*\nnull terminated.\nYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" );
+        memes.add( "Yo Dawg" );
+        memes.add( "Imma gunna cut you so bad, you gunna wish I dun cut you so bad" );
+        memes.add( "So i herd u liek mudkipz" );
+        memes.add( "Never gunna give you up, Never gunna let you down!" );
+        memes.add( "DO A BARREL ROLL ._. |: .-. :| ._." );
+        memes.add( "ScumbagBot, shows up to the party, drinks all your beer." );
+        memes.add( "Don't tase me bro" );
+
+        return memes;
+    }
+
+    private static List<String> generateContainerJokes()
+    {
+        List<String> jokes = new ArrayList<String>();
+        jokes.add( "C O N T A I N E D" );
+        jokes.add( "Containing containers containingly." );
+        jokes.add( "Containers carry a vast amount of stuff." );
+        jokes.add( "H Y B R I D  C L O U D" );
+        jokes.add( "\"Linux is Containers and Containers is RHEL\"" );
+        jokes.add( "It can contain anything, even monster apps!" );
+        jokes.add( "I sell Container and Container accessories" );
+        jokes.add( "Do U Even Small VM brah?" );
+        jokes.add( "Y SO CONTAINED?" );
+        jokes.add( "Containers give me lyfe." );
+        jokes.add( "Containers pay the bills." );
+        jokes.add( "My name is yzhang and I'm a containerholic." );
+        jokes.add( "\"Containers\"" );
+        jokes.add( "Keep your containers to yourself!" );
+        jokes.add( "*insert bad container joke here*" );
+        jokes.add( "AM I BEING CONTAINED?" );
+        jokes.add( "friggin' containers, how do they work?" );
+        jokes.add( "I put the \"I\" in contaIners" );
+        jokes.add( "DON'T CONTAZE ME" );
+        jokes.add( "Every day we stray farther from gods light." );
+        jokes.add( "Please, contain yourself." );
+        jokes.add( "PRESS Z TO DO A CONTAINER ROLL" );
+        jokes.add( "STOP. CONTAINER TIME" );
+        jokes.add( "Dat feel when you can only contain monster apps and not your feelings" );
+        jokes.add( "- Refer to the Container Coloring Book" );
+
+        return jokes;
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9bd281dc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+/**
+ * Class to contain characters and strings that cause the Eclipse line spacing to break if viewed directly.
+ */
+public class CharactersThatBreakEclipse
+{
+    public static final String LODEMOT = Colors.BOLD + "ಠ" + Colors.BOLD + "_" + Colors.BOLD + "ಠ" + Colors.BOLD;
+
+    public static final String KIRBYFLIP = "(╯°□°)╯︵<(x˙x)>";
+}

From 17270d33ddbba210de909851dbb54e6eeaac6633 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2021 21:54:34 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 37/79] Add JazizService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/JazizService.java        | 133 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |  17 +--
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   4 +-
 3 files changed, 143 insertions(+), 11 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..96325f77
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,133 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import twitter4j.JSONArray;
+import twitter4j.JSONException;
+import twitter4j.JSONObject;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.FileNotFoundException;
+import java.net.URLConnection;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Scanner;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class JazizService {
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @ConfigProperty(name = "vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key")
+    String API_KEY;
+
+    private static final String API_URL = "http://words.bighugelabs.com/api/2/";
+    private static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
+
+    private static String[] splitWords( String message )
+    {
+        return message.split( "\\b" );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!jaziz @message")
+    public String jazizify(String message) {
+        String[] words = splitWords( message );
+        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length; i++ )
+        {
+            if ( !words[i].contains( " " ) )
+            {
+                String replacement;
+                try {
+                    replacement = words[i].length() > 3 ? randomChoice( getSynonyms( words[i] ) ) : words[i];
+                } catch (Exception e) {
+                    replacement = "";
+                }
+                if ( !replacement.isEmpty() )
+                {
+                    words[i] = replacement;
+                }
+            }
+        }
+        return stringify( words );
+    }
+
+    private List<String> getSynonyms( String word )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        JSONObject json = new JSONObject( getContent( word ) );
+
+        List<String> synonyms = new ArrayList<>();
+        String[] wordTypes = { "adjective", "noun", "adverb", "verb", "pronoun" };
+        for ( String type : wordTypes )
+        {
+            if ( json.has( type ) )
+            {
+                JSONArray syns = getSyns( json.getJSONObject( type ) );
+                synonyms.addAll( jsonToList( syns ) );
+            }
+        }
+        return synonyms;
+    }
+
+    private JSONArray getSyns( JSONObject json )
+            throws JSONException
+    {
+        return json.has( "syn" ) ? json.getJSONArray( "syn" ) : new JSONArray();
+    }
+
+    private String randomChoice( List<String> list )
+    {
+        if ( list.size() == 0 )
+        {
+            return "";
+        }
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( list );
+    }
+
+    private String stringify( String[] list )
+    {
+        StringBuilder builder = new StringBuilder();
+        for ( String word : list )
+        {
+            builder.append( word );
+        }
+        return builder.toString().trim();
+    }
+
+    private List<String> jsonToList( JSONArray array )
+            throws JSONException
+    {
+        List<String> words = new ArrayList<>();
+        for ( int i = 0; i < array.length(); i++ )
+        {
+            words.add( array.getString( i ) );
+        }
+        return words;
+    }
+
+    private String getContent( String word )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        String content;
+        URLConnection connection;
+        connection = urlFactory.build( API_URL + API_KEY + "/"  + word + API_FORMAT ).openConnection();
+        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
+        try
+        {
+            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
+            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
+            content = scanner.next();
+            return content;
+        }
+        catch ( FileNotFoundException e )
+        {
+            return "{}";
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
index 53c311c9..66aa2cbb 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -48,6 +48,9 @@ public class QuotesAndFactsService
     @Inject
     IgnoredUsers ignoredUsers;
 
+    @Inject
+    JazizService jazizService;
+
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
@@ -346,8 +349,7 @@ private String factQuoteSearch( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, String mode, Stri
                         {
                             try
                             {
-                                return "Jaziz is not implemented yet";// formatFactReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify(
-                                                                      // randomMatch ) ) );
+                                return formatFactReply( noun, jazizService.jazizify( randomMatch ) );
                             }
                             catch ( Exception e )
                             {
@@ -383,8 +385,7 @@ private String factQuoteSearch( ActorMessageEvent<User> event, String mode, Stri
                         {
                             try
                             {
-                                return "Jaziz is not implemented yet";// formatFactReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify(
-                                                                      // randomMatch ) ) );
+                                return formatFactReply( noun, jazizService.jazizify( randomMatch ) );
                             }
                             catch ( Exception e )
                             {
@@ -478,9 +479,7 @@ private String getReplyFact( String noun, boolean jaziz )
         {
             try
             {
-                // TODO: When JazizService is done
-                // text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
-                text = "Jaziz service is not implemented yet";
+                text = jazizService.jazizify( text );
             }
             catch ( Exception e )
             {
@@ -535,9 +534,7 @@ private String getReplyQuote( String noun, boolean jaziz )
         {
             try
             {
-                // TODO: When JazizService is done
-                // text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
-                text = "Jaziz service is not implemented yet";
+                text = jazizService.jazizify( text );
             }
             catch ( Exception e )
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 80e04757..7a4cf6e4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -18,4 +18,6 @@ vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-key=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret=
 vilebot.twitter.access-token=
-vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret=
\ No newline at end of file
+vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret=
+
+vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key=
\ No newline at end of file

From 6e16da795bfe5a71602ca606e804fdff4e0d23b1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2021 22:19:26 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 38/79] Add InspirationService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/InspirationService.java  |   73 +
 .../src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt  | 2911 +++++
 .../src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt   | 9775 +++++++++++++++++
 3 files changed, 12759 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a86506d7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.BufferedReader;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.io.InputStreamReader;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+/**
+ * Created by ipun on 15/05/16.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class InspirationService
+{
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    List<String> inspiration = loadInspirations();
+    List<Integer> inspirationIndex = loadInspirationIndex();
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!inspiration")
+    public String onInspiration()
+    {
+        int index = randomProvider.getRandomElement(inspirationIndex);
+
+        StringBuilder reply = new StringBuilder();
+        String line = inspiration.get( index );
+        while ( !line.matches( "%" ) )
+        {
+            reply.append( line );
+            reply.append('\n');
+            line = inspiration.get( ++index );
+        }
+        reply.deleteCharAt(reply.length() - 1);
+        return reply.toString();
+    }
+
+    private List<String> loadInspirations()
+    {
+        try (InputStream inspirationIndexResource = InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream("/inspirationslist.txt")) {
+            if (inspirationIndexResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("Unable to find inspirationslist.txt");
+            }
+            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(inspirationIndexResource))
+                    .lines()
+                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open inspirationslist.txt");
+        }
+    }
+
+    private List<Integer> loadInspirationIndex()
+    {
+        try (InputStream inspirationIndexResource = InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream("/inspirationsindex.txt")) {
+            if (inspirationIndexResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("Unable to find inspirationsindex.txt");
+            }
+            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(inspirationIndexResource))
+                    .lines()
+                    .map(Integer::parseInt)
+                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open inspirationsindex.txt");
+        }
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e241583c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,2911 @@
+0
+4
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+8941
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+8951
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+8972
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+8995
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+9001
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+9053
+9059
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+9257
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+9554
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+9562
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+9570
+9575
+9579
+9582
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+9591
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+9613
+9617
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+9624
+9627
+9631
+9635
+9638
+9641
+9646
+9650
+9653
+9656
+9659
+9663
+9667
+9671
+9674
+9677
+9680
+9683
+9688
+9693
+9698
+9701
+9704
+9709
+9713
+9717
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+9730
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+9754
+9756
+9759
+9764
+9768
+9772
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..05221528
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9775 @@
+"... the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but
+the person who can question the answers."
+        ― Theodore Schick Jr., in The_Skeptical_Inquirer, March/April, 1997
+%
+"A little fire, Scarecrow?"
+%
+"A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of
+being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of
+incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague
+assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents
+and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of
+dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of
+annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was
+unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place."
+        ― IEEE Grid newsmagazine
+%
+"Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing."
+%
+"Anchovies? You've got the wrong man! I spell my name DANGER! (click)"
+%
+"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence."
+        ― Time Bandits
+%
+"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds
+himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous
+resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their
+ignorance the hard way."
+        ― Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
+%
+"But I don't like Spam!"
+%
+"But this has taken us far afield from interface, which is not a bad place
+to be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge. Why do
+people have so much trouble understanding the kludge? What is a kludge,
+after all, but not enough Ks, not enough ROMs, not enough RAMs, poor
+quality interface and too few bytes to go around? Have I explained yet
+about the bytes?"
+%
+"Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle."
+        ― Alice Roosevelt Longworth
+%
+"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and
+if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
+        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+%
+"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
+and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
+because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be
+more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
+entire intellectual heritage ― good teaching ― than a bill forcing
+honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
+to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
+general understanding of science as an enterprise?
+        ― Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186
+%
+"Deep" is a word like "theory" or "semantic" ― it implies all sorts of
+marvelous things. It's one thing to be able to say "I've got a theory",
+quite another to say "I've got a semantic theory", but, ah, those who can
+claim "I've got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.
+        ― Randy Davis
+%
+"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
+%
+"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a
+conventional thing to happen to him."
+        ― John Barrymore's dying words
+%
+"Do not stop to ask what is it;
+ Let us go and make our visit."
+        ― T. S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
+%
+"Do you have blacks, too?"
+        ― George W. Bush, to Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso;
+           Washington, D.C., November 8, 2001
+%
+"Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash."
+        ― Bo Diddley
+%
+"Don't say yes until I finish talking."
+        ― Darryl F. Zanuck
+%
+"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
+%
+"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."
+        ― Jeff Berner
+%
+"Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral."
+        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
+%
+"Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it."
+%
+"Grub first, then ethics."
+        ― Bertolt Brecht
+%
+"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."
+        ― Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush
+           wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be
+           no loss of wetlands
+%
+"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes..."
+%
+"He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."
+%
+"His mind is like a steel trap ― full of mice."
+        ― Foghorn Leghorn
+%
+"Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse."
+        ― William Gilbert
+%
+"I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!"
+        ― Paul McCracken
+%
+"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
+        ― English Professor
+%
+"I didn't accept it. I received it."
+        ― Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan,
+           explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by
+           two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private
+           interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.
+%
+"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."
+        ― Boss Tweed
+%
+"I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem."
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked
+at in the right way, did not become still more complicated."
+        ― Paul Anderson
+%
+"I just need enough to tide me over until I need more."
+        ― Bill Hoest
+%
+"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially
+members of the House and members of the Senate."
+        ― former Vice-President Dan Quayle
+%
+"I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes."
+        ― President Richard Nixon
+%
+"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
+%
+"If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?"
+%
+"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
+        ― "Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)
+%
+"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
+        ― J. Paul Getty
+%
+"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
+make the rubble bounce."
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+"In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable."
+        ― Winston Churchill, of Montgomery
+%
+"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out.
+They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their
+heads in a nodding position."
+        ― John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information,
+           responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission
+           inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were
+           sleeping on the job.
+%
+"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
+lightly greased."
+        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
+%
+"It was hell," recalls former child.
+        ― caption to a B. Kliban cartoon
+%
+"It's bad luck to be superstitious."
+        ― Andrew W. Mathis
+%
+"It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either."
+        ― Kevin White, mayor of Boston
+%
+"Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune
+ to bullets"
+        ― The Brigader, "Dr. Who"
+%
+"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
+        ― Victor Borge
+%
+"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into
+the smallest amount of thoughts."
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+"Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!"
+%
+"Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you
+out of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles."
+%
+"Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong."
+%
+"Of COURSE it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?"
+%
+"One planet is all you get."
+%
+"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."
+        ― Gypsy Rose Lee
+%
+"Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have
+taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an
+excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature."
+        ― Samuel Johnson
+%
+"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly."
+%
+"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something
+else anyway."
+        ― Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane
+%
+"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
+one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."
+        ― J. Finnegan, USC.
+%
+"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
+%
+"The C Programming Language: A language which combines the flexibility of
+assembly language with the power of assembly language."
+%
+"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as
+we could with both of them."
+        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
+%
+The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
+%
+"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell
+into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him
+out again, it would be a calamity."
+        ― Benjamin Disraeli
+%
+The brain is a beautifully engineered get-out-of-the-way machine that
+constantly scans the environment for things out of whose way it should
+right now get. That's what brains did for several hundred million years ―
+and then, just a few million years ago, the mammalian brain learned a new
+trick: to predict the timing and location of dangers before they actually
+happened.
+
+Our ability to duck that which is not yet coming is one of the brain's most
+stunning innovations, and we wouldn't have dental floss or 401(k) plans
+without it. But this innovation is in the early stages of development. The
+application that allows us to respond to visible baseballs is ancient and
+reliable, but the add-on utility that allows us to respond to threats that
+loom in an unseen future is still in beta testing.
+        ― Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University,
+           in an op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times; 6 July, 2006
+%
+"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer."
+        ― Henry Kissinger
+%
+"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and
+tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will
+have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy ... neither its pipes nor
+its theories will hold water."
+%
+"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up!"
+%
+"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who
+make them unsafe."
+        ― the late Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and ex- mayor of
+           Philadelphia
+%
+The voters have spoken, the bastards...
+%
+"The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity
+that would be clearly understood."
+        ― Alexander Haig
+%
+The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start
+with a large fortune.
+%
+"There are three possibilities: Pioneer's solar panel has turned away
+from the sun; there's a large meteor blocking transmission; or someone
+loaded Star Trek 3.2 into our video processor."
+%
+"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the
+other is to read Pope."
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
+        ― C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
+%
+"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
+        ― Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer
+           questions about the House Bank scandal.
+%
+This is a country where people are free to practice their religion,
+regardless of race, creed, color, obesity, or number of dangling keys...
+%
+"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question ... or is it?
+%
+"Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name."
+        ― Gore Vidal
+%
+"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's just the opposite."
+        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
+%
+"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."
+%
+"We don't have to protect the environment ― the Second Coming is at hand."
+        ― James Watt
+%
+"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
+hands for masturbation."
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+"We'll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later."
+%
+"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what CAN
+you believe?!"
+        ― Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]
+%
+"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?"
+        ― Bertold Brecht
+%
+"When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical."
+        ― Jon Carroll
+%
+"When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite."
+        ― Winston Churchill, on formal declarations of war
+%
+"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the
+beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end:
+then stop."
+        ― Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
+%
+"Why be a man, when you can be a success?"
+        ― Bertold Brecht
+%
+"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+"Why was I born with such contemporaries?"
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
+
+"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
+        ― Lewis Carrol
+%
+"Yacc" owes much to a most stimulating collection of users, who have goaded
+me beyond my inclination, and frequently beyond my ability in their endless
+search for "one more feature". Their irritating unwillingness to learn how
+to do things my way has usually led to my doing things their way; most of
+the time, they have been right.
+        ― S. C. Johnson, "Yacc guide acknowledgements"
+%
+"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the
+White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."
+        ― Woody Allen, "Sleeper"
+%
+"Yes, well, that's just the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I've
+come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome
+spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the
+struggling artist, you excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies with your
+Tony Jacklin golf clubs, your colour TVs and your bleedin' Masonic handshakes!
+You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards?! WELL I
+WOULDN'T BECOME A FREEMASON NOW IF YOU GOT DOWN ON YOUR LOUSY STINKING KNEES
+AND BEGGED ME!"
+%
+"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."
+        ― Dagwood Bumstead
+%
+"You'll never be the man your mother was!"
+%
+$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
+which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
+        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
+%
+'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.
+        ― George Bernard Shaw
+%
+'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
+        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson
+%
+[Humanity] is the measure of all things.
+        ― Protagoras
+%
+... And malt does more than Milton can/To justify God's ways to man
+        ― A. E. Housman
+%
+An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders
+a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The
+bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
+%
+Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months
+might as well have been written by someone else.
+        ― Eagleson's Law
+%
+Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.
+%
+... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand. Human
+intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as we
+can tell. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now
+seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their
+world, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard example of
+ancient nonsense ― the debate about angels on pinheads ― makes sense once
+you realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen
+would fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number.
+        ― S. J. Gould, "Wide Hats and Narrow Minds"
+%
+... Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
+the person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility
+of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
+responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
+or colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out
+claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
+provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
+the accepted body of scientific evidence. ...
+        ― Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, pg. 215
+%
+... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror,
+and you would not have been informed.
+%
+... The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks
+attempts to expose sham paranormal studies; and (2) it is very well and
+plausibly written and so rather harder to dismiss or refute by simple
+jeering.
+        ― Harry Eagar, reviewing "Beyond the Quantum" by Michael Talbot,
+           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 200-201
+%
+The first principle is that you must not fool yourself―and you are the
+easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After
+you've not fooled yourself, it's easy not to fool other scientists. You
+just have to be honest in a conventional way after that.
+        ― R. P. Feynman, "Cargo Cult Science"
+%
+... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
+        ― J. B. White
+%
+... if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,
+this would be a better world.
+        ― Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"
+%
+... the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil out
+of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.
+        ― Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19
+%
+... they [the Indians] are not running but are coming on.
+        ― note sent from Lt. Col Custer to other officers
+           of the 7th Regiment at the Little Bighorn
+%
+...I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and
+concern to be different, the African apes would be included in our family,
+the Hominidae.
+        ― Richard Leakey
+%
+... It is sad to find him belaboring the science community for its united
+opposition to ignorant creationists who want teachers and textbooks to give
+equal time to crank arguments that have advanced not a step beyond the
+flyblown rhetoric of Bishop Wilberforce and William Jennings Bryan.
+        ― Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
+           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131
+%
+...computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since
+civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price
+gain in 30 years.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+...difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects
+perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity
+attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
+introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
+yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"
+%
+...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
+existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
+systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
+hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
+        ― Sidney Hook
+%
+...skill such as yours is evidence of a misspent youth.
+        ― Herbert Spencer
+%
+...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality
+tools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.
+        ― M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague
+%
+...there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is
+the practice of truth.
+        ― George Jacob Holyoake
+%
+...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six
+million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."
+        ― The Firesign Theater
+%
+...though his invention worked superbly ― his theory was a crock of sewage
+from beginning to end.
+        ― Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"
+%
+...when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has
+been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
+%
+10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
+%
+36 percent of the American public believes that boiling radioactive milk
+makes it safe to drink.
+        ― results of a survey by Jon Miller at Northern Illinois University
+%
+43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr
+fortune: Segmentation fault ― core dumped
+%
+80 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot, including this one.
+%
+99% of all guys are within one standard deviation of your mom.
+%
+A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
+%
+A bore is a man you deprives you of solitude without providing you with
+company.
+        ― Gian Vincenzo Gravina
+%
+A Nixon [is preferable to] a Dean Rusk ― who will be passionately
+wrong with a high sense of consistency.
+        ― J. K. Galbraith
+%
+A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is
+having fun.
+%
+A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
+responsibility at the other.
+%
+A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman
+out of a divorce.
+        ― Don Quinn
+%
+A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
+        ― Everett Dirksen
+%
+A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
+enlightened him with ours.
+%
+A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as
+afterward.
+%
+A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
+poor to protect them from each other.
+%
+A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
+%
+A child's education should begin at least 100 years before he is born.
+        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes
+%
+A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
+        ― Herbert Prochnow
+%
+A clash of doctrine is not a disaster ― it is an opportunity.
+%
+A closed mouth gathers no foot.
+%
+A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
+%
+A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing,
+but together can decide that nothing can be done.
+        ― Fred Allen
+%
+A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for
+the first time.
+        ― Alfred E. Wiggam
+%
+A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never
+learned to walk.
+        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
+%
+A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
+%
+A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
+        ― Ben Franklin
+%
+A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
+        ― Channing Pollock
+%
+A day without sunshine is like night.
+%
+A decision occurs when one abandons the obvious for the possible.
+        ― P. Taylor
+%
+A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
+%
+A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you
+will look forward to the trip.
+        ― Caskie Stinnett
+%
+A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.
+        ― Robert Frost
+%
+A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
+%
+A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
+        ― Ogden Nash
+%
+A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox
+1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to
+help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse,
+and asked "what do you see?" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied "I
+see a cursor." The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back
+of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the
+head with a thick Interlisp Manual. The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.
+%
+A fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+A fool must now and then be right by chance.
+%
+A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into
+superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
+        ― G. B. Shaw
+%
+A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
+        ― Samuel Johnson
+%
+A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
+        ― D. Gries
+%
+A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows
+something.
+        ― Wilson Mizner
+%
+A good memory does not equal pale ink.
+%
+A good workman is known by his tools.
+%
+A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
+rearranging their prejudices.
+        ― William James
+%
+A handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.
+%
+A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his weight
+in other people's patience.
+        ― John Updike
+%
+A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
+%
+A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
+%
+A king's castle is his home.
+%
+A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
+%
+A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is
+not worth knowing.
+%
+A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program
+in than some that do.
+        ― Dennis M. Ritchie
+%
+A large number of installed systems work by fiat. That is, they work
+by being declared to work.
+        ― Anatol Holt
+%
+A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that
+thing you just did? Don't do that."
+        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
+%
+A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
+        ― Bismarck
+%
+A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems
+have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,
+those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are
+the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix,
+APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them
+with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I
+believe everything positively stinks.
+        ― Lew Col
+%
+A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
+%
+A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
+        ― John Barrymore
+%
+A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
+%
+A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"
+
+"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a
+sense of obligation."
+        ― Stephen Crane
+%
+A man shall never be enriched by envy.
+        ― Thomas Draxe
+%
+A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
+%
+A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
+%
+A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
+%
+A manager would rather live with a problem that he cannot solve than
+accept a solution that he does not understand.
+        ― G. Woolsey
+%
+A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
+%
+A mathematician named Hall
+Has a hexahedronical ball,
+        And the cube of its weight
+        Times his pecker's, plus eight
+Is his phone number ― give him a call.
+%
+A model is an artifice for helping you convince yourself that you
+understand more about a system than you do.
+%
+A moose once bit my sister.
+%
+A morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
+%
+A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.
+%
+A penny saved is ridiculous.
+%
+A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
+%
+A person who knows only one side of a question knows little of that.
+%
+A person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is
+never sure.  Proverb
+%
+A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
+        ― George Wald
+%
+A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
+%
+A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
+%
+A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
+your wife will give you for free.
+%
+A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle
+unless there be two.
+        ― Seneca
+%
+A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices
+that the system works.
+%
+A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and
+the real reason.
+%
+A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen
+objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer
+scientists. Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added
+concentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three
+dimensional objects ...
+%
+A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
+        ― Ramsey Clark
+%
+A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following
+a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
+        - Jack Benny
+%
+A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
+        ― Samuel Johnson
+%
+A sine curve goes off into infinity or at least to the end of the blackboard.
+%
+A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
+        ― Victor Borge
+%
+A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
+        ― O'Henry
+%
+A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an
+exam.
+%
+A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by
+its author.
+        ― S. C. Johnson
+%
+A thing is worth precisely what it can do for you, not what you choose to
+pay for it.
+        ― John Ruskin
+%
+A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
+and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
+%
+A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
+in students.
+        ― John Ciardi
+%
+A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
+replaces it with.
+        ― Tenessee Williams
+%
+A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
+%
+A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
+%
+A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
+getting nervous.
+%
+A well-known friend is a treasure.
+%
+A witty saying proves nothing.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
+%
+A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
+%
+Ada, n.: Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in
+computing. Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop an Ada
+awareness."
+%
+Abandon hope, all ye who press "ENTER" here.
+%
+Ability is useless unless it is used.
+        ― Robert Half
+%
+About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.
+%
+About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
+%
+About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
+        ― Herbert Hoover
+%
+Above all things, reverence yourself.
+%
+Abstention makes the heart grow fonder.
+%
+Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own
+opinion.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
+body is better.
+%
+According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
+        ― Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
+%
+According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally
+worthless.
+%
+According to my scuba instructor, if a shark attacks, you're supposed to
+poke it in the eye with your finger. After that, I suppose you should hit
+it in the face with a cream pie, or maybe hose it down with a seltzer bottle.
+        ― Jerry L. Embry
+%
+Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.
+%
+Accuracy: The vice of being right.
+%
+Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not
+well enough to lend to.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
+%
+Activity makes more men's fortunes than cautiousness.
+        ― Marquis de Vauvenargues
+%
+Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
+%
+Ada is the work of an architect, not a computer scientist.
+        ― Jean Ichbiah, inventor of Ada, weenie
+%
+Adapt. Enjoy. Survive.
+%
+Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit.
+[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
+        ― Ovid
+%
+Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
+%
+Adore, v.: To venerate expectantly.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Adult: One old enough to know better.
+%
+Adversity makes men, prosperity monsters.
+        ― French Proverb
+%
+Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to
+get money from it.
+        ― Stephen Leacock
+%
+After Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
+        ― Freeman Dyson
+%
+After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
+%
+After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
+%
+After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not
+for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have
+simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
+        ― P. J. O'Rourke
+%
+After any machine or unit has been assembled, extra components will be
+found on the bench.
+        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil
+           & Refining Company., Houston, TX
+%
+After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover,
+it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
+%
+After winning the pennant one year, Casey Stengel commented, "I couldn'ta
+done it without my players."
+%
+Air is water with holes in it.
+%
+Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
+        ― Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed
+%
+Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire
+telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New
+York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And
+radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive
+them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
+%
+Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a
+dial tone.
+%
+Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
+%
+Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of
+them keeps paying for it.
+        ― Peggy Joyce
+%
+All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
+%
+All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
+%
+All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
+ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
+        ― Kingfish
+%
+All a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a warm
+place to shift.
+%
+All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
+%
+All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy in its own way.
+        ― Tolstoy
+%
+All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
+%
+All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
+        ― Jane Wagner
+%
+All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts
+those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds
+of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end
+goal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,
+and the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works,
+the result is indisputable: "This time it will surely run," or "I just found
+the last bug."
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
+%
+All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of
+every organism to live beyond its income.
+        ― Samuel Butler
+%
+All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
+        ― E. Rutherford
+%
+All that glitters has a high refractive index.
+%
+All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
+        ― Sean O'Casey
+%
+All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
+%
+All through human history, tyrannies have tried to enforce obedience by
+prohibiting disrespect for the symbols of their power. The swastika is
+only one example of many in recent history.
+        ― American Bar Association task force on flag burning
+%
+All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
+%
+All wise men share one trait in common: the ability to listen.
+%
+Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
+%
+Alliance, n.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have
+their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot
+separately plunder a third.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Although every American has a sense of humor―it is his birthright and
+encoded somewhere in the Constitution―few Americans have never been able to
+cope with wit or irony, and even the simplest jokes often cause unease,
+especially today when every phrase must be examined for covert sexism,
+racism, ageism.
+        ― Gore Vidal, "The Essential Mencken," The Nation,
+           August 26/September 2, 1991.
+%
+Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
+%
+Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.
+        ― Alfred Hitchcock 
+%
+Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a
+left.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
+        ― Charlie McCarthy
+%
+America had often been discovered before Columbus; it had just been hushed up.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+America's best buy for a quarter is a telephone call to the right man.
+%
+America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
+        ― Allen Ginsberg
+%
+American Non Sequitur Society: We don't make sense. We like pizza.
+%
+Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
+%
+Among the chosen, you are the lucky one.
+%
+Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
+%
+An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but
+is always polite to traffic cops.
+%
+An Army travels on its stomach.
+%
+An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
+        ― A. P. Herbert
+%
+An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
+        ― Alfred A. Knopf
+%
+An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
+%
+An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
+%
+An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
+%
+An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
+%
+An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
+        ― Albert Camus
+%
+An NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is.
+        - Tom Holub <doosh@best.com>
+          (Posted to comp.infosystems.www.servers.unix on 03 Sep 1997)
+%
+An object never serves the same function as its image―or its name.
+        ― Rene Magritte
+%
+An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin
+%
+Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no
+government at all.
+%
+Anarchy: It's not the law, it's just a good idea.
+%
+And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
+%
+And now for something completely different.
+%
+And now that the legislators and the do-gooders have so futilely inflicted
+so many systems upon society, may they end up where they should have begun:
+may they reject all systems, and try liberty...
+        ― Frederic Bastiat
+%
+And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
+%
+And the Lord God said unto Moses ― and correctly, I believe ...
+        ― Field Marshal Montgomery, opening a chapel service
+%
+And the crowd was stilled. One elderly man, wondering at the sudden silence,
+turned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said. Wide-eyed,
+the Child raised his voice and said once again, "Why, the Emperor has no
+clothes! He is naked!"
+        ― "The Emperor's New Clothes"
+%
+And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
+%
+And they told us, what they wanted...
+Was a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance.
+        ― Kate Bush
+%
+And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal
+rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,
+which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced
+in design as one will find anywhere in the world.
+        ― Michael Frayn, "The Tin Men"
+%
+And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that
+cometh out of man, in their sight...Then he [the Lord!] said unto me, Lo, I
+have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread
+therewith. [Ezek. 4:12-15 (KJV)]
+%
+Anger is a prelude to courage.
+        ― Eric Hoffer
+%
+Angular momentum makes the world go round.
+%
+Ankh if you love Isis.
+%
+Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently
+slippery.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
+%
+Another one bites the dust.
+%
+Anthony's Law of Force: Do not force it; get a larger hammer.
+%
+Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the
+    least accessible corner of the workshop.
+Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike
+    your toes.
+%
+Antimatter doesn't matter as a matter of fact.
+        ― Piggins
+%
+Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur
+ad necem. (In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on
+windswept crags.)
+%
+Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
+%
+Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
+        ― Charles McCabe
+%
+Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
+        ― Aesop
+%
+Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.
+%
+Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to
+sell it.
+%
+Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
+%
+Any job worth quitting is worth sticking around long enough until they
+fire you.
+        ― Tim Wirth
+%
+Any medium powerful enough to extend man's reach is powerful enough to topple
+his world. To get the medium's magic to work for one's aims rather than
+against them is to attain literacy.
+        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
+%
+Any shrine is better than self-worship.
+%
+Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a
+larger object.
+%
+Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
+%
+Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic.
+        ― Arthur C. Clarke
+%
+Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
+%
+Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.
+        ― Paul Chvostek by way of Arthur C. Clarke (via John Ripley)
+%
+Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
+        ― Andy Finkel, computer guy
+%
+Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
+        ― Arthur C. Clarke
+%
+Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.
+        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
+%
+Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
+%
+Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
+        ― John Williamson
+%
+Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
+        ― Publilius Syrus
+%
+Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a
+tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes
+in the house.
+        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
+%
+Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,
+recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one
+particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
+        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
+%
+Anyone who wants to be paid for writing software is a fascist asshole.
+        ― Richard M. Stallman, founder, Free Software Foundation
+%
+Anything anybody can say about America is true.
+        ― Emmett Grogan
+%
+Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
+%
+Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
+%
+Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the
+price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
+means the price went way up.
+%
+Anything worth doing is worth overdoing
+%
+Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
+%
+Arbolist . . . Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway,
+it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees.
+        ― George W. Bush, quoted in USA Today; August 21, 2001
+%
+Are we not men?
+%
+Are you a turtle?
+%
+Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
+        ― Mickey Mouse
+%
+Armadillo: To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
+%
+army, n.: A body of men assembled to rectify the mistakes of the diplomats.
+        ― Josephus Daniels
+%
+Army Axiom: An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
+%
+Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
+    (1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
+    (2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
+    (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
+%
+Art is parasitic on life, just as criticism is parasitic on art.
+        ― Harry S Truman (one of his more ridiculous comments)
+%
+As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."
+%
+As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
+%
+As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
+        ― Weisert
+%
+As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
+%
+As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
+%
+As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
+When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the
+active power of the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in
+the masculine sex; while the production of a woman comes from defect in the
+active power.
+        ― Thomas Aquinas, prominent historical misogynist
+%
+As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't
+as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be
+discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large
+part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in
+my own programs.
+        ― Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949
+%
+As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" ― probably because it's
+so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
+bearing hot new versions of their pieces ― faster, smaller, more complete,
+or putatively less buggy. The replacement of a working component by a new
+version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
+component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
+efficient test cases will usually be available.
+        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+%
+As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
+is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+As to Jesus of Nazareth...I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
+as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
+but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,
+with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
+divinity.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin
+%
+As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple
+memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
+to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
+E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
+        ― Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
+%
+As you read the scroll it vanishes,
+and you hear maniacal laughter in the distance.
+%
+Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.
+%
+Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls ... if thou art in the bathtub,
+it tolls for thee.
+%
+Ask your boss to reconsider ― it's so difficult to take "Go to hell"
+for an answer.
+%
+Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the
+country, it would probably fly around in circles.
+        ― Pat Paulsen
+%
+At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial
+challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
+        ― The Washington Post Magazine, June 9, 1985
+%
+At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los Angeles
+fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head under the
+exhaust of a bus until he revived.
+%
+At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on
+the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is
+quite untrue in practice. Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather
+than blinkers it.
+        ― G. L. Glegg, The Design of Design
+%
+At the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly
+contradictory attitudes ― an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre
+or counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny
+of all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep
+nonsense. Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the
+world, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism: The collective
+enterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the
+field on track.
+        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,
+           February 1, 1987
+%
+At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will
+find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on
+the computer.
+%
+Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
+purely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the
+old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth.
+        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
+%
+Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+Auribus teneo lupum. (I hold a wolf by the ears.)
+%
+Automobile, n.: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.
+%
+Automobile: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.
+%
+Average managers are concerned with methods, opinions, precedents.
+Good managers are concerned with solving problems.
+%
+Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+Avoid letting temper block progress; keep cool.
+        ― William Feather
+%
+Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
+%
+Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.
+%
+Bagdikian's Observation:
+        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American
+        newspaper is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion"
+        on a ukelele.
+%
+Bad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend
+Stompin' down the avenue by Radio City
+With a transistor and a large sum of money to spend.
+        ― Steely Dan
+%
+Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
+        A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides
+        by governors.
+%
+Barth's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people
+into two types, and those who don't.
+%
+Basic, n.: A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in
+           that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
+%
+Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get
+your Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face.
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
+%
+Be different: conform.
+%
+Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original
+in your work.
+        ― Gustave Flaubert
+%
+Be seeing you.
+%
+Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
+%
+Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
+%
+Bees are not as busy as we think they are; they just cannot buzz any slower.
+        ― Abe Martin
+%
+Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
+        ― Louis Brandeis
+%
+Behold the warranty: The bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
+%
+Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and
+receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is
+already in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking
+and richer male friend.
+%
+Being stoned on marijuana isn't very different from being stoned on gin.
+        ― Ralph Nader
+%
+Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: The moment you have worked out an answer,
+start checking it―it probably isn't right.
+%
+Corollary 1 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Always let an answer cool
+off for awhile―it should not be used while hot.
+%
+Corollary 2 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Check the answer you have
+worked out once more―before you tell it to anybody.
+%
+Berkeley's Second Law of Mistakes: If there is an opportunity to make a
+mistake, sooner or later, the mistake will be made.
+%
+Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.
+%
+Between the choice of two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before.
+        ― Mae West
+%
+Between the legs of the women walking by, the dadaists imagined a monkey
+wrench and the surrealists a crystal cup. That's lost.
+        ― Ivan Chtcheglov
+%
+Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
+        ― Donald Knuth
+%
+Beware of Geeks bearing grifts.
+%
+Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
+        ― Leonard Brandwein
+%
+Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
+%
+Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
+%
+Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
+%
+Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
+%
+Beware of low-flying butterflies.
+%
+Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but
+nothing of interest is easy.
+%
+Beware the new TTY code!
+%
+Biggest security gap - an open mouth.
+%
+Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise,
+and you'll be Gary, Indiana. - Jessie in the movie "Greaser's Palace"
+%
+Biography is the fallacy of intention.
+        ― Peter Taylor
+%
+Biology ... it grows on you.
+%
+Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic
+%
+Black holes are where God is dividing by zero.
+%
+Blah.
+%
+Bleeding into a new computer is always a good thing; it's an ancient geek
+voodoo magic to ensure its long life and reliability.
+        ― from Mike Taht's blog, http://the-edge.blogspot.com/
+%
+Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
+%
+Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
+%
+Blessed is the man who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to
+worry at night.
+        ― Leo Aikman
+%
+Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
+%
+Board the windows, up your car insurance, and don't leave any booze in
+plain sight. It's St. Patrick's day in Chicago again. The legend has it
+that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. In fact, he was arrested
+for drunk driving. The snakes left because people kept throwing up on
+them.
+%
+Boling's postulate: If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
+%
+Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:
+        Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so
+        vividly manifests their lack of progress.
+%
+Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
+%
+Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them
+seemed to come from Texas.
+        ― Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"
+%
+Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.
+%
+Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Boren's Laws:
+        (1) When in charge, ponder.
+        (2) When in trouble, delegate.
+        (3) When in doubt, mumble.
+%
+Boss, n.:
+        According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages
+the words "boss" and "botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss,
+in addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an
+ornamental stud."
+%
+Boston, n.:
+        Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for
+        finishing second in the Irish jig competition.
+%
+Boy, n.:
+        A noise with dirt on it.
+%
+Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
+committee. that will do them in.
+%
+Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
+committee. That will do them in.
+%
+Brady's First Law of Problem Solving: When confronted by a difficult
+problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How
+would the Lone Ranger have handled this?"
+%
+Brain fried ― core dumped
+%
+Brain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]:
+        To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of
+error in an opponent.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
+%
+Bringing computers into the home won't change either one, but may
+revitalize the corner saloon.
+%
+Broad-mindedness: The result of flattening high-mindedness out.
+%
+Brook's Law:
+        Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
+%
+Brooke's Law:
+        Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool
+        discovers something which either abolishes the system or
+        expands it beyond recognition.
+%
+Bubble Memory, n.:
+        A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
+        intelligence. See also "vacuum tube".
+%
+Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
+%
+Bug: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
+%
+Bumper Sticker: Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
+%
+Bumper sticker on nuclear war: if you have seen one, you have seen them all.
+%
+Bunk Carter's Law: At any given moment there are more important people in
+the world than important jobs to contain them.
+%
+Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
+        ― Balzac
+%
+Bureaucrat, n.: A politician who has tenure.
+%
+Bureaucrats cut read tape ― length-wise.
+%
+Burnt Sienna: That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
+        ― Ken Weaver
+%
+Business will be either better or worse.
+        ― Calvin Coolidge
+%
+But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the
+system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed,
+analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.
+        ― Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers"
+%
+By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
+overwhelm me.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task
+completely overwhelm you.
+%
+By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
+designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.
+        ― P. J. Plauger, from his April Fool's column in the April 1988
+           issue of "Computer Language"
+%
+By one count there are some 700 scientists with respectable academic
+credentials (out of a total of 480,000 U.S. earth and life scientists) who
+give credence to creation-science, the general theory that complex life
+forms did not evolve but appeared "abruptly."
+        ― Newsweek, June 29, 1987, pg. 23
+%
+C, n.: A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like
+assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else.
+It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.
+        ― Ray Simard
+%
+C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.
+        ― Gavin Russell Baker
+%
+CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
+        ― Randall Garrett
+%
+Cabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as
+a man's head.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise
+as a man's head.
+%
+Caeca invidia est. (Envy is blind.)
+        ― Livy
+%
+Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
+%
+California is a fine place to live ― if you happen to be an orange.
+        ― Fred Allen
+%
+California is the ghost of Christmas future for the rest of America.
+        ― anonymous post to an Internet forum
+%
+California is the land of perpetual pubescence, where cultural lag is
+mistaken for renaissance.
+        ― Ashley Montagu
+%
+Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
+        ― Indian proverb
+%
+Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?
+%
+Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun.
+%
+Cannot fork ― try again.
+%
+Cannot fortune open database.
+%
+Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time,
+and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool Mom.
+%
+Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than
+expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to
+complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their
+planning to reduce the time it takes.
+%
+Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
+        The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
+dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
+putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.
+%
+Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk
+with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point
+with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe
+years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their
+habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing
+this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Change is what people fear most.
+        ― Dostoevski
+%
+Change your thoughts and you change your world.
+%
+Character Density: the number of very weird people in the office.
+%
+Character is the ligament holding together all other qualities.
+        ― Arnold Glasow
+%
+Chemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
+%
+Chicken Little was right.
+%
+Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort
+to teach them good manners.
+%
+Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
+And that's what parents were created for.
+        ― Ogden Nash
+%
+Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely,
+if ever, do they forgive them.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Children have more need of models than of critics.
+%
+Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
+word what you shouldn't have said.
+%
+Chism's Law of Completion:
+        The amount of time required to complete a government project is
+        precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
+%
+Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:
+        When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
+%
+Civilisation is the art of living in towns of such size that everyone does
+not know everyone else.
+        ― Julian Jaynes
+%
+Civilization Law #1: Civilization advances by extending the number of
+important operations one can do without thinking about them.
+%
+Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor.
+        ― Toynbee
+%
+Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy.
+        ― Howard Roark, in Ayn Rand's _The Fountainhead_
+%
+[Classical music] would be a lot more popular if they gave the pieces titles
+like "Kill the Wabbit."
+        ― Mark Fetherolf.
+%
+Classified material requires proper storage.
+%
+Cleanliness is next to impossible.
+%
+Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum ―
+"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Cogito ergo doleo. (I think, therefore I am depressed.)
+%
+Cogito ergo sum.
+%
+Cohen's Law: Everyone knows that the name of the game is what label you
+succeed in imposing on the facts.
+%
+Collaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption
+that the other fellow can spell.
+%
+College isn't the place to go for ideas.
+        ― Hellen Keller
+%
+Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
+%
+Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
+typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.
+        ― Blair Houghton
+%
+Commitment, n.: Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and
+eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
+%
+Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.
+        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge
+%
+Complacency is the enemy of progress.
+        ― Dave Stutman
+%
+Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
+%
+Computer Science: the boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities
+(The Devil's DP Dictionary)
+%
+Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to
+make the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable.
+As in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If
+we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for
+personal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing
+a part of our lives?
+        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
+%
+Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
+        ― LaRouchefoucauld
+%
+Concept, n.: Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
+$25,000.
+%
+Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one
+mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
+        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+%
+Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is
+good for dandruff.
+        ― Peter de Vries
+%
+Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
+%
+Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!
+        ― Ben Jonson
+%
+Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!
+%
+Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
+%
+Conservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
+        ― Leo C. Rosten
+%
+Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then
+give it back to them.
+%
+Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.
+        ― Brian W. Kernighan
+%
+Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his
+breath is called the listener.
+%
+Conway's Law: Any piece of software reflects the organizational structure
+that produced it.
+%
+Coronation, n.: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and
+visible signs of his divine right to be blown sky-high with a dynamite bomb.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit
+without individual responsibility.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Corripe Cervisiam!
+%
+Corrupt, adj.: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.
+%
+Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job
+is to enforce the law and fight crime.
+        ― P.B.A. President E. J. Kiernan
+%
+Courage is grace under pressure.
+%
+Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with
+nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
+        ― Wernher von Braun
+%
+Creativity cannot be diminished by the medium of expression.
+        ― Mitch Allen
+%
+Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dreamt up
+after being drunk all night.
+        ― Isaac Asimov
+%
+Creditors have better memories than debtors.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1758)
+%
+Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
+        ― A. E. Newman
+%
+Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital
+to form a corporation.
+        ― Howard Scott
+%
+Critic, n.: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries
+to please him.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his
+pace with beating.
+        ― Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 1
+%
+Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
+%
+Cynic, n.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not
+as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking
+out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Cynic, n.: One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
+%
+Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward,
+they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
+        ― J. W. von Goethe
+%
+Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+De Borglie rules the wave, but Heisenberg waived the rules.
+        ― Piggins
+%
+Dealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. Success is also easy to
+handle: you've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
+%
+Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
+%
+Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
+%
+Death is Nature's way of saying, "slow down".
+%
+Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
+        ― R. Geis
+%
+Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
+%
+Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged
+about forever.
+        ― button at the Boston Computer Museum
+%
+Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.
+Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are―by
+definition―not smart enough to debug it.
+        ― Brian Kernighan
+%
+Decisionmaker, n.: The person in your office who was unable to form a task
+force before the music stopped.
+
+%
+Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really
+overwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language
+may not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging
+panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing
+contestants (unless struck by a boomerang).
+        ― Mudgeeraba Creek Emu-Riding and Boomerang-Throwing Association
+%
+Decisions terminate panic.
+%
+Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it
+is buttered on.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder
+aloud what the country could do under first-class management.
+        ― Senator Soaper
+%
+Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
+incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
+        ― G. B. Shaw
+%
+Democracy is four wolves and a lamb, voting on what to have for lunch.
+%
+Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people
+are right more than half of the time.
+        ― E. B. White
+%
+Denniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment.
+%
+Deprive a mirror of its silver, and even the Czar won't see his face.
+%
+Der Unterschied zwischen Genie und Wahnsinn liegt nur im Erfolg.
+[The only difference between genius and insanity is the success.]
+%
+Did I forget to mention, forget to mention Memphis?
+Home of Elvis and the ancient Greeks.
+Do I smell? I smell home cooking.
+It's only the river, it's only the river.
+        ― Talking Heads (Cities)
+%
+Did you know gullible is not in the dictionary?
+%
+Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
+%
+Digital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:
+They have very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
+and testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states
+than computers do.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term.
+Velocity, for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.
+%
+Diplomacy is the art of extricating oneself from a situation that tact
+would have prevented in the first place.
+%
+Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
+%
+Disc space ― the final frontier!
+%
+Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
+%
+Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no
+one else has thought.
+        ― Albert Szent-Gyorgi
+%
+Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Do not allow this language (Ada) in its present state to be used in
+applications where reliability is critical, i.e., nuclear power stations,
+cruise missiles, early warning systems, anti-ballistic missle defense
+systems. The next rocket to go astray as a result of a programming language
+error may not be an exploratory space rocket on a harmless trip to Venus:
+It may be a nuclear warhead exploding over one of our cities. An unreliable
+programming language generating unreliable programs constitutes a far
+greater risk to our environment and to our society than unsafe cars, toxic
+pesticides, or accidents at nuclear power stations.
+        ― C. A. R. Hoare
+%
+Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
+%
+Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
+%
+Do not compromise yourself; you are all you have got.
+        ― Janis Joplin
+%
+Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
+%
+Do not try to solve all life's problems at once ― learn to dread each
+day as it comes.
+        ― Donald Kaul
+%
+Do not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging.
+Don't have aesthetic convulsions when using them, either.
+%
+Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take
+the time to take the dirt out of them?
+%
+Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and
+when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
+        ― Dick Brandon
+%
+Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must
+be good because the programmers hate it so much.
+%
+Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
+%
+Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
+%
+Don't comment bad code: rewrite it.
+%
+Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
+%
+Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
+%
+Don't diddle code to make it faster, find a better algorithm.
+%
+Dobbin's Law: When in doubt, use a bigger hammer.
+%
+Don't get suckered in by the comments ― they can be terribly misleading.
+Debug only code.
+        ― Dave Storer
+%
+Don't knock President Fillmore. He kept us out of Vietnam.
+%
+Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.
+%
+Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
+        ― Bo Diddley
+%
+Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
+%
+Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy
+it today you can do it again tomorrow.
+%
+Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
+        ― James J. Ling
+%
+Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free
+with my breakfast cereal.
+        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox
+%
+Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already
+tomorrow in Australia.
+        ― Charles Schultz
+%
+Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no
+control over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over,
+because you have control over them.
+        ― Mickey Rivers
+%
+Don't worry about what other people are thinking about you. They're too
+busy worrying about what you are thinking about them.
+%
+Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
+        ― Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian
+%
+Doubts and jealousies often beget the facts they fear.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+Down with categorical imperative!
+%
+Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
+%
+Ducharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize
+yourself as part of the problem.
+%
+Ducharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
+%
+Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and
+it holds the universe together ...
+        ― Carl Zwanzig
+%
+Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders
+has been discontinued.
+%
+Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate
+and captain of your soul.
+%
+Dum excusare credis, accusas. (When you believe you are excusing yourself,
+you are accusing yourself.)
+        ― St. Jerome
+%
+Dunne's Law: The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with
+equivocation.
+%
+During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
+been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,
+pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity;
+in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.
+        ― James Madison
+%
+Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to
+have nothing whatever to do with it.
+        ― W. Somerset Maughm
+%
+E Pluribus Unix
+%
+Each honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy
+based on excellence of performance.
+        ― James Bryant Conant
+%
+Each team building another component has been using the most recent tested
+version of the integrated system as a test bed for debugging its piece. Their
+work will be set back by having that test bed change under them. Of course it
+must. But the changes need to be quantized. Then each user has periods of
+productive stability, interrupted by bursts of test-bed change. This seems
+to be much less disruptive than a constant rippling and trembling.
+        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
+%
+Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
+        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
+%
+Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K.
+Galbraith ...
+        ― Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
+%
+Economy makes men independent.
+%
+Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish
+what is worth reading.
+        ― G. M. Trevelyan
+%
+Education helps earning capacity. Ask any college professor.
+%
+Een schip op het strand is een baken in zee.
+[A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.]
+        ― Dutch Proverb
+%
+Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
+        ― Bullwinkle Moose
+%
+Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
+        ― Adlai Stevenson
+%
+Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain
+of being a damned fool.
+        ― Bellamy Brooks
+%
+Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
+        ― Frank Leahy
+%
+Egotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Ehrman's Commentary:
+        1. Things will get worse before they get better.
+        2. Who said things would get better?
+%
+Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.
+        ― Ronald Reagan, famous movie star
+%
+Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because
+God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software
+engineer.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.
+        ― Ovid
+%
+Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
+        ― Oscar Wilde's last words
+%
+Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.
+%
+Elevators smell different to midgets
+%
+Eloquence is vehement simplicity.
+        ― Cecil
+%
+Emersons' Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall
+make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
+%
+Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
+Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
+        ― Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary
+%
+Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
+%
+Entropy isn't what it used to be.
+%
+Envy always implies conscious inferiority wherever it resides.
+        ― Pliny
+%
+Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which
+otherwise require harder thinking.
+        ― Jerome Lettvin
+%
+Equal bytes for women.
+%
+Eschew obfuscatory digressiveness.
+        ― Barry Dancis (1983)
+%
+Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+Ettore's observation: the other line moves faster.
+%
+Etymology, n.: Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that
+were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed
+from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy"
+("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."
+        ― Mike Kellen
+%
+Even a cabbage may look at a king.
+%
+Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
+%
+Even if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements,
+sooner or later the product will speak for itself.
+        ― Hajime Karatsu
+%
+Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
+speak it to?
+        ― Clarence Darrow
+%
+Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
+%
+Even the future comes one day at a time.
+        ― W. Woodhouse
+%
+Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
+%
+Even though they raised the rate for first class mail in the United
+States we really shouldn't complain ― it's still only 2 cents a day.
+%
+Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you
+just how busy they are.
+%
+Ever wander around the web, look at discussions, totally agree with one of
+the points of view, and then notice it was posted under one of your web
+aliases 5 years ago?
+        ― Larry Weber
+%
+Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman
+and stop her.
+%
+Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):
+Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in
+front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an
+odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even
+and odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of
+legs. Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
+there is a horse that has a finite number of legs. But that is a horse
+of another color, and by the [above] lemma ["All horses are the same
+color"], that does not exist.
+%
+Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper .... everyone was
+eating paper and a policeman was at the door. Now all you have to do is
+bend a disk.
+        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,
+           commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their
+           movement
+%
+Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
+%
+Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
+%
+Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
+signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
+fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not
+spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
+genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way
+of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
+humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
+        ― Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
+%
+Every institution I've ever been associated with has tried to screw me.
+        ― Stephen Wolfram
+%
+Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
+        ― Don Vonada
+%
+Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
+        ― Miguel de Cervantes
+%
+Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one
+instruction ― from which, by induction, one can deduce that every
+program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
+%
+Every program has two purposes ― one for which it was written and another
+for which it wasn't.
+%
+Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
+%
+Every purchase has its price.
+%
+Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
+%
+Every solution breeds new problems.
+%
+Every successful person has had failures, but repeated failure is no
+guarantee of eventual success.
+%
+Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
+        ― Beckett
+%
+Everything is better with no people.
+        ― Bob "Biff" Rendar
+%
+Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
+%
+Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,
+no one we know belongs.
+%
+Everything to excess! Moderation is for monks.
+        ― Lazarus Long
+%
+Everything you know is wrong.
+        ― The Firesign Theater
+%
+Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less
+obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no
+solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There
+are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight
+lines.
+        ― R. Buckminster Fuller
+%
+Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
+%
+Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.
+Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only
+atheists could accept this Satanic theory.
+        ― Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, "The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution"
+%
+Evolution does not require the nonexistence of God, it merely allows for
+it. That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who fear the
+nonexistence of God more than they fear God Himself.
+        ― Keith Doyle, in talk.origins
+%
+Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.
+        ― Anonymous
+%
+Exactitude in small matters is the essence of discipline.
+%
+Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.
+%
+Excellent day to have a rotten day.
+%
+Excellent time to become a missing person.
+%
+Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
+acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
+        ― W. Somerset Maugham
+%
+Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.
+%
+Excuse me while I change into something more formidable.
+%
+Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
+%
+Expense Accounts, n.: Corporate food stamps.
+%
+Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
+        ― Poor Richard's Almanac
+%
+Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
+        ― Olivier
+%
+Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when
+you make it again.
+        ― Franklin P. Jones
+%
+Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and
+the instructions afterward.
+%
+Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
+%
+Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
+%
+Extreme good-naturedness borders on weakness of character. Avoid it.
+%
+Extremes of fortune are fatal to folks of small dimensions.
+        ― Arnold Glasow
+%
+FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when
+the little hand is on the ....
+%
+Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
+%
+Facts are simple and facts are straight / Facts are lazy and facts are late.
+Facts all come with points of view / Facts don't do what I want them to.
+Facts just twist the truth around / Facts are living turned inside out.
+Facts are getting the best of them / Facts are nothing on the face of things.
+Facts don't stain the furniture / Facts go out and slam the door.
+Facts are written all over your face / Facts continue to change their shape.
+        ― Talking Heads
+%
+Failing to get them to do it your way might mean they're stupid, but it also
+means you failed to get them to do it your way.
+        ― Cal Keegan
+%
+Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
+%
+Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
+        ― Ferenc Mantfeld
+%
+Faire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait attendre,
+c'est pour mieux vous servir, et vous plaire.
+[Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better,
+and to please you.]
+        ― Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans
+           [Also, what we're going to be telling our customers]
+%
+Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
+%
+Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.
+        ― Dave Sim, author of "Cerberus the Aardvark"
+%
+Familiarity breeds attempt
+%
+Familiarity breeds children.
+%
+Familiarity breeds contempt.
+%
+Families, when a child is born/Want it to be intelligent.
+I, through intelligence,/Having wrecked my whole life,
+Only hope the baby will prove/Ignorant and stupid.
+Then he will crown a tranquil life/By becoming a Cabinet Minister
+        ― Su Tung-p'o
+%
+Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your
+aim.
+        ― Santayana
+%
+Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
+united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.
+        ― Goya
+%
+Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though
+checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither
+enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows
+not victory or defeat.
+        ― Theodore Roosevelt
+%
+Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
+
+%
+Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
+every six months.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Felson's Law: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
+many is research.
+%
+Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
+%
+Field theories, unite!
+%
+Finagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
+%
+Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
+%
+Finagle's Second Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it
+only makes it worse.
+%
+Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and
+bamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we
+don't practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly
+serious problems that face us ― and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up
+for grabs by the next charlatan who comes along.
+        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,
+           February 1, 1987
+%
+Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be
+like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications
+SHOULDN'T be like.
+        ― pixadel
+%
+Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
+%
+Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
+%
+Finster's Law: a closed mouth gathers no feet.
+%
+First Law of Procrastination: Procrastination shortens the job and places
+the responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority
+who imposed the deadline).
+%
+First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.
+%
+First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely
+repeat each other.
+%
+Flee at once: All is discovered.
+%
+Flon's Law:
+        There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is
+        the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
+%
+Flugg's Law:
+        When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the
+        world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
+%
+Follow the river and you will eventually find the sea.
+%
+Football combines the two worst features of American life: violence and
+committee meetings.
+        ― George Will
+%
+For a really sweet time, call C6H12O6.
+%
+For a while there I was worried that my tin foil beanie was blocking the
+TopFive.com website. Luckily it turned out to be a router problem.
+        ― Attributed to "wubwub", quoted on www.ruminate.com (2004)
+%
+For an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be
+always old-fashioned.
+%
+For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
+%
+For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
+        ― R. Clopton
+%
+For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
+"Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
+        ― Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to
+                   the U.S.
+%
+For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.
+%
+For the politicians this was never about how efficient they could make
+things happen or how to solve a problem, it is about the *appearance* of
+efficiency, or problem solving. My observation is that most politicians
+think more like sales people than technicians, and are about as clueful.
+Which means, unless the politicians change the way they think, discussion
+about how to use *them* to go about really solving these problems would be
+like asking a booth babe to write a kernel module.
+        ― Rich Costine
+%
+For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
+        ― Abraham Lincoln
+%
+Forgetfulness, n.: A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for
+their destitution of conscience.
+%
+Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about
+interferences ― if you have none, someone will make one for you.
+%
+Fourth Law of Thermodymanics:
+If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
+        ― David Ellis
+%
+Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
+%
+Fresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.
+%
+Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
+%
+Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the
+roof and gets stuck.
+%
+Frobnicate, v.:
+        To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ.
+Usually abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying "to frob a
+frob". See TWEAK and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK
+sometimes connote points along a continuum. FROB connotes aimless
+manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse
+search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes fine-tuning. If someone is
+turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it
+he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the
+screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because
+turning a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.
+%
+From the ice-age to the dole-age
+there is but one concern
+and I have just discovered:
+some girls are bigger than others
+some girls are bigger than others
+some girls are bigger than
+other girls' mothers
+        ― The Smiths
+%
+From too much love of living/From hope and fear set free,
+We thank with brief thanksgiving/Whatever gods may be,
+That no life lives forever/That dead men rise up never,
+That even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
+        ― Swinburne
+%
+Froud's Law: A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the
+fuse by blowing first.
+%
+Fudd's First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will
+fall over.
+%
+Furbling, v.: Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
+even when you are the only person in line.
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
+        ― H. H. Williams
+%
+Gadji beri bimba clandridi/Lauli lonni cadori gadjam
+A bim beri glassala glandride/E glassala tuffm I Zimbra.
+        ― Talking Heads (I Zimbra)
+%
+G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy. One
+of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his
+secretary, `Is there a play from Shaw this morning?' and when she says
+`No,' he will say, `Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish.'
+And that's your chance, my boy."
+%
+Garbage In ― Gospel Out.
+%
+Garter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her
+stockings and desolating the country.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Genderplex, n.: The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
+determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+Gene Police: YOU! Out of the pool!
+%
+Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
+%
+Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
+you should.
+%
+Genius is the talent of a man who is dead.
+%
+Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
+        ― Elbert Hubbard
+%
+Genius: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with "bright".
+%
+Genuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet.
+        ― Karl Kleinpaste
+%
+Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a
+fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time.
+Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the
+explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of
+squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing, "Does not!"
+        ― Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org
+%
+George Orwell was an optimist.
+%
+Get forgiveness now ― tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
+%
+Get hold of portable property.
+        ― Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations"
+%
+Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
+Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
+        ― Calvin Keegan
+%
+Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs
+pounding.
+        ― Abraham Kaplan
+%
+Give big space to the festive dog that shall sport in the roadway.
+%
+Give me a plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh Dome, and a place
+to stand, and I will drain the world.
+%
+Give up.
+%
+Giving advice is not as risky as people say; few ever take it anyway.
+%
+Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase
+until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on
+getting some useful work done.
+%
+Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what value there may
+be in owning a piece thereof.
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+Go soothingly in the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
+%
+Go west young, man.
+%
+God did not create the world in 7 days; he screwed around for 6 days
+and then pulled an all-nighter.
+%
+God does not play dice with the universe.
+%
+God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends.
+%
+God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ... The
+trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty ... I do not mean
+to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman ... not enough
+to support a man and five children if he insists on smoking and drinking
+beer. But the man who cannot live on bread and water is not fit to live!
+A family may live on good bread and water in the morning, water and bread
+at midday, and good bread and water at night!
+        ― Rev. Henry Ward Beecher
+%
+God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+God is a polytheist.
+%
+God is a verb, not a noun.
+%
+God is an atheist.
+%
+God is playing a comic to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
+%
+God is real, unless declared integer.
+%
+God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant
+and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.
+        ― Pablo Picasso
+%
+God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
+        ― Alfred Jarry
+%
+God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
+%
+God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
+        ― Kronecker
+%
+God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
+%
+God requireth not a uniformity of religion.
+        ― Roger Williams
+%
+God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
+and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and
+Saturday.
+        ― William Bragg
+%
+Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a
+comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
+%
+Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
+%
+Going to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school
+make a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.
+%
+Goldenstern's Rules:
+        1. Always hire a rich attorney
+        2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
+%
+Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
+        ― La Rouchefoucauld
+%
+Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad
+example.
+        ― La Rouchefoucauld
+%
+Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.
+%
+Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
+        ― George Saunders' dying words
+%
+Got Mole problems? Call Avogadro, 6.02 E23.
+%
+Goto, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
+to complain about unstructured programmers.
+        ― Ray Simard
+%
+Government expands to absorb all revenue and then some.
+%
+Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.
+        ― Tolstoy
+%
+Government sucks.
+        ― Ben Olson
+%
+Grabel's Law:
+        2 is not equal to 3 ― not even for large values of 2.
+%
+Graduate life ― it's not just a job, it's an indenture.
+%
+Grain grows best in shit.
+        ― Ursula K. LeGuin
+%
+Grandpa Charnock's Law:
+        You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
+%
+Granholm's Definition of the Kludge: An ill-assorted collection of poorly
+matching parts forming a distressing whole.
+        ― Jackson W. Granholm, "How to Design a Kludge,"
+           Datamation, Feb. 1962
+%
+Gray's Law of Programming:
+        `N+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
+        time as `N' tasks.
+
+Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
+        `N+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `N' trivial tasks.
+%
+Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small
+people talk about wine.
+        ― Fran Lebowitz
+%
+Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.
+%
+Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
+%
+Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above
+average drivers.
+%
+Hacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
+a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
+        ― Andrew Hacker, The End of the American Era (1970)
+%
+Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten by the Scots and considered
+by them to be not only a delicacy but fit for human consumption. The minced
+heart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other animal's inner organs are
+mixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the sheep's intestinal
+stomach-bag and ... Excuse me a minute ...
+%
+Half of one, six dozen of the other.
+%
+Half the things that people do not succeed in are through fear of making
+the attempt.
+%
+Hand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and
+commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately
+explained by stupidity.
+%
+Hanson's Treatment of Time:
+        There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days
+        before Saturday.
+%
+Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
+%
+Happiness comes and goes and is short on staying power.
+        ― Frank Tyger
+%
+Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
+        ― Ogden Nash
+%
+Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
+        ― Oscar Levant
+%
+Happiness, n.: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of
+another.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery
+of another.
+%
+Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
+%
+Harris' Lament: All the good ones are taken.
+%
+Harris's Lament:
+        All the good ones are taken.
+%
+Harrisberger's Second Law of the Lab: No matter what result it anticipated,
+there is always someone willing to fake it.
+%
+Harrisberger's Third Law of the Lab: Experiments should be reproducive.
+They should all fail in the same way.
+%
+Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional
+to the amount of equipment ruined.
+%
+Harrison's Postulate:
+        For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
+%
+Hartley's First Law:
+        You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float
+        on his back, you've got something.
+%
+Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
+%
+Harvard Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,
+temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as
+it damn well pleases.
+%
+Has everyone noticed that all the letters of the word "database" are
+typed with the left hand? Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter
+keyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use
+of both hands. It follows, therefore, that writing about databases is
+not only unnatural, but a lot harder than it appears.
+%
+Hatred, n.: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you,
+"There's a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for play?
+%
+Have you locked your file cabinet?
+%
+Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a
+crack in your sidewalk?
+%
+He had that rare weird electricity about him ― that extremely wild and
+heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope
+of ever behaving "normally."
+        ― Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing '72"
+%
+He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+He hated to mend, so young Ned
+Called in a cute neighbor instead.
+        Her husband said, "Vi,
+        When you stitched up his torn fly,
+Did you have to bite off the thread?"
+%
+He is considered the most graceful speaker who can say nothing in most words.
+%
+He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
+%
+He launched a massive attack on everything this country held inviolate, on
+most of what it held self-evident. He showed how our politics was dominated
+by time-servers and demagogues, our religion by bigots, our culture by
+puritans. He showed how the average citizen, both in himself and in the
+way he let himself be pulled around by the nose, was a boob.
+        ― Louis Kronenberger, "H.L. Mencken," in Malcolm Cowley, ed.,
+           After the Genteel Tradition, 1964.
+
+%
+He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
+%
+He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
+        ― John Mason Brown, drama critic
+%
+He that labors and thrives spins gold.
+        ― George Herbert
+%
+He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.
+%
+He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
+%
+He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
+%
+He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
+%
+He wasn't much of an actor, he wasn't much of a Governor ― Hell, they
+HAD to make him President of the United States. It's the only job he's
+qualified for!
+        ― Michael Cain
+%
+He who Laughs, Lasts.
+%
+He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry
+attacks democracy itself.
+        ― William S. Paley, chairman of CBS
+%
+He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
+%
+He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
+%
+He who hates vices hates mankind.
+%
+He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
+%
+He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on
+cruise.
+%
+He who laughs, lasts.
+%
+He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
+%
+He who shits on the road will meet flies on his return.
+        ― South African Saying
+%
+He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
+%
+He who spends a storm beneath a tree takes life with a grain of TNT.
+%
+He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
+        ― M. C. Escher
+%
+He'll sit here and he'll say, "Do this! Do that!" And nothing will happen.
+        ― Harry S. Truman, on presidential power
+%
+He's dead, Jim.
+%
+He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be
+there ... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.
+%
+Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
+%
+Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of
+their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you
+expound your own.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Heavy, adj.: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
+%
+Hedonist for hire: no job too easy.
+%
+Heisenberg may have slept here.
+%
+Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
+        ― Milton Friedman
+%
+Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
+Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the
+organization.
+%
+Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
+%
+Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
+%
+Help stamp out, remove and abolish redundancy.
+%
+Her life was saved by rock and roll.
+        ― Lou Reed
+%
+Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
+%
+Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow
+up.
+        ― Peter Drucker
+%
+Here at Controls, we have one chief for every Indian.
+%
+Heuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs,
+then they'd be algorithms.
+%
+Hey what? Where? When? (Are you confused as I am?)
+%
+Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
+reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
+nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.
+%
+Hidden talent counts for nothing.
+        ― Nero
+%
+Hindsight is an exact science.
+%
+Hippogriff, n.:
+        An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
+The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.
+The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which
+is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full
+of surprises.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Hire the morally handicapped.
+%
+His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
+%
+History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.
+%
+History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion ―
+i.e., none to speak of.
+        ― Lazarus Long
+%
+History repeats itself. That's one thing wrong with history.
+%
+History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people
+maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of
+ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will
+always avail themselves for their own purpose.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson, to Baron von Humboldt, 1813
+%
+History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,
+periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them
+asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at
+intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another... Truly the
+imago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step
+gained.
+        ― Charles Darwin, from "Origin of the Species"
+%
+Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person ― they
+will find an easier way to do it.
+%
+Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a
+small problem struggling to get out.
+%
+Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
+Hofstadter's Law into account.
+%
+Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at
+your side.
+        ― Han Solo
+%
+Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
+        ― Rex Reed
+%
+Holy Smoke, Batman, it's the Joker!
+%
+Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
+        ― F. M. Hubbard
+%
+Honi soit la vache qui rit.
+%
+Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative
+bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable
+gentleman is a scurvy cur."
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special
+case.
+%
+Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
+        ― W. C. Fields
+%
+How about a little fire, scarecrow?
+%
+How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
+%
+How can you be two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
+        ― Firesign Theater
+%
+How come only your friends step on your new white sneakers?
+%
+How does a project get to be a year late? ... One day at a time.
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+Q. How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?
+A. It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
+%
+Q. How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A. Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue.
+%
+Q. How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A. "That's a known problem... don't worry about it."
+%
+Q. How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A. Three: one to screw it in and two to say "I told you so" when it doesn't
+   work.
+%
+Q. How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
+A. Two. One to change the bulb and one to mix the drinks.
+%
+Q. How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
+A. None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.
+%
+Q. How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb?
+A. "Well the diagnostics say it's fine buddy, so it's a software problem."
+%
+Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
+A. None. It's a hardware problem.
+%
+Q. How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
+A. You don't know, man. You don't KNOW. Cause you weren't THERE.
+        ― http://bash.org/?255991
+%
+Q. How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
+A. 9 edge down.
+%
+Howe's Law: Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
+%
+However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional
+manner ... sulking and nausea.
+        ― Tom K. Ryan
+%
+Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
+%
+Human cardiac catheterization was introduced by Werner Forssman in 1929.
+Ignoring his department chief, and tying his assistant to an operating
+table to prevent his interference, he placed a uretheral catheter into a
+vein in his arm, advanced it to the right atrium [of his heart], and walked
+upstairs to the x-ray department where he took the confirmatory x-ray film.
+In 1956, Dr. Forssman was awarded the Nobel Prize.
+%
+Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be
+lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
+        ― Isaac Asimov
+%
+Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly
+proportional to ..... to ........ uh ..............
+%
+I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to
+their fellows.
+        ― Susan B. Anthony
+%
+I HATE arbitrary limits, especially when they're small.
+        ― Stephen Savitzky
+%
+I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absented myself
+from Christian assemblies.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin
+%
+I have had interactions with developers who are convinced that everything in
+.Net was created solely by MS for open source usage. But that could be another
+result of vaccination preservatives.
+        ― Larry Weber
+%
+I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being
+told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick
+and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
+        ― Monty Python
+%
+I would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists to practice
+whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own
+homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.
+        ― Arthur C. Clarke
+%
+I would not dare to so dishonor my Creator God by attaching His name to
+that book [the Bible].
+        ― Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, Part 1, Section 5
+%
+I'm also not very analytical. You know, I don't spend a lot of time thinking
+about myself, about why I do things.
+        ― George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One; June 4, 2003
+%
+I'm an evolutionist because I judge the evidence for the unity of life by
+common descent over billions of years to be overwhelming, not so that I can
+cheat on my wife or kick the cat with impunity. I live in no hope of heaven
+or fear of hell, but like most of my fellow Americans of all religious
+persuasions, I try to live a decent life. Folks like Tom DeLay just can't
+get it through their heads that a person can choose to live ethically
+because civilized life requires doing unto others as you would have them do
+unto you.
+        ― Chet Raymo, science columnist for The Boston Globe, in a
+           5 Sep, 1999, article on the anti-evolution decision by Kansas
+           School Board
+%
+I am a member of a party of one, and I live in an age of fear. Nothing
+lately has unsettled my party and raised my fears so much as your
+editorial, on Thanksgiving Day, suggesting that employees should be
+required to state their beliefs in order to hold their jobs. The idea is
+inconsistent with our constitutional theory and has been stubbornly opposed
+by watchful men since the early days of the Republic.
+        ― E.B. White, in a letter to the New York Herald Tribune
+           (November 29, 1947)
+%
+I am always with myself, and it is I who am my tormenter.
+        ― Leo Tolstoy
+%
+I am astounded ... at the wonderful power you have developed ― and terrified
+at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record
+forever.
+        ― Arthur Sullivan, on seeing a demonstration of Edison's new
+           talking machine in 1888
+%
+I am not now, and never have been, a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.
+        ― Gloria Steinem
+%
+I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the
+great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater.
+%
+I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of
+pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you
+that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic
+globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't
+help it. I was born sneering.
+        ― Pooh-Bah, "The Mikado", Gilbert & Sullivan
+%
+I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
+        ― G. K. Chesterton
+%
+I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
+        ― Will Rogers
+%
+I'll bet the human brain is a kludge.
+        ― Marvin Minsky
+%
+I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
+Why so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call for them?
+        ― Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part I
+%
+I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
+        ― Joe Walsh
+%
+I cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. Therefore, I affirm both.
+Without a belief in human unity I am hungry and incomplete. Human unity
+is the fulfillment of diversity. It is the harmony of opposites. It is
+a many-stranded texture, with color and depth.
+        ― Norman Cousins
+%
+I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
+        ― Lillian Hellman
+%
+I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
+you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
+you will understand why I dismiss yours.
+        ― Steven Roberts
+%
+I could prove God statistically.
+        ― George Gallup
+%
+I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat veggies.
+%
+I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
+Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,
+nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.
+        ― Thomas Paine
+%
+I do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign itself
+to going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon...
+        ― Lyndon B. Johnson
+%
+I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
+        ― Isaac Asimov
+%
+I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
+with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
+        ― Galileo Galilei
+%
+I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.
+        ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
+%
+I do not mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language
+I don't understand.
+        ― Sir Edware Appleton
+%
+I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians
+don't believe in astrology.
+        ― James R. F. Quirk
+%
+I don't care if I'm a lemming. I'm not going.
+%
+I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!
+        ― Vidiu Platon
+%
+I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+I don't like spreading rumors, but what else can you do with them?
+%
+I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
+on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment
+he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual
+becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
+        ― George Bernard Shaw
+%
+I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be
+questioned about their motives.
+        ― Leray Scifres
+%
+I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+I fart in your general direction, tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms.
+%
+I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
+        ― Mae West
+%
+I get the feeling that as soon as something appears in the paper, it ceases to
+be true.
+        ― T-Bone Burnett
+%
+I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving.
+I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read
+the news themselves.
+        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; September 21, 2003
+%
+I go to seek a great perhaps.
+        ― Francois Rabelais
+%
+I had a great idea this morning but I did not like it.
+        ― Anon
+%
+I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
+        ― Samuel Goldwyn
+%
+I hate quotations.
+        ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
+%
+I have a simple philosophy:
+        Fill what's empty.
+        Empty what's full.
+        Scratch where it itches.
+        ― A. R. Longworth
+%
+I have discovered the heart of bushido: to die!
+        ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo
+%
+I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
+        ― Clarence Darrow
+%
+I haven't lost my mind ― it's backed up on tape somewhere.
+%
+I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
+%
+I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents
+become better people as a result of practicing it.
+        ― Joe Mullally, computer salesman
+%
+I just thought of something funny...your mother.
+        ― Cheech Marin
+%
+I like a man who grins when he fights.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
+        ― Art Leo
+%
+I like the future, I'm in it.
+%
+I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And
+in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the
+additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.
+        ― Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer,
+           Vol. 12, Fall 87
+%
+I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
+%
+I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do
+was to go away.
+%
+I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
+%
+I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
+        ― William F. Buckley
+%
+I program, therefore I am.
+%
+I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis
+socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think
+you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a
+very technical boy. So I decided to get as crude as possible. These days,
+though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire to
+crudeness.
+        ― Johnny Mnemonic, by William Gibson
+%
+I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of
+oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
+commerce.
+        ― J. Edgar Hoover
+%
+I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
+oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
+commerce.
+        ― J. Edgar Hoover
+%
+I sat through it. Why shouldn't you?
+        ― David Letterman, it a spot promoting one of his shows
+%
+I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.
+%
+I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
+Straining upon the start. The game's afoot.
+        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act III, Scene 1
+%
+I simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that decaying
+mass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to medieval conceptions
+of Christianity, and which still lingers among us―a most serious barrier to
+religion and morals, and a menace to the whole normal evolution of society.
+        ― Andrew D. White, author, first president of Cornell University, 1896
+%
+I support everyone's right to be an idiot. I may need it someday.
+%
+I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass.
+        ― Senator Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of
+           Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians should be
+           against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination to the Supreme Court
+%
+I think Microsoft named .NET so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.
+        ― Oktal
+%
+I think people are reacting to what they perceive to be your simplistic and
+fetishistic understanding of the economy, which is becoming more and more
+pronouncedly so in its outward manifestations as you react to your
+misunderstanding of people's reactions to your reaction to what you perceived
+as Sam's simplistic and fetishistic understanding of the economy.
+        ― Gordan Todorovac
+%
+I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+I think time is crucial to anything. For example, if you lock an infinite
+number of monkeys in a room with those typewriters, but you limit the
+amount of time they have to write, the best you'll get out of them is the
+pilot to The Dukes of Hazzard.
+        ―Doug Sykes
+%
+I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my
+lifetime.
+        ― Johnny Legend
+%
+I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
+%
+I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
+        ― Marvin
+%
+I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
+%
+I use not only all the brains I have but all that I can borrow.
+        ― Woodrow Wilson
+%
+I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
+        ― Graffiti
+%
+I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
+%
+I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
+%
+I was brought up in the other service; but I knew from the first that the
+Devil was my natural master and captain and friend. I saw that he was in
+the right, and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear.
+        ― Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple"
+%
+I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
+these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
+kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
+I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
+avoiding the beach.
+        ― Lucinda Childs (Philip Glass: Einstein On The Beach)
+%
+I went on to test the program in every way I could devise. I strained
+it to expose its weaknesses. I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass
+stars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold.
+I ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be
+absent ― not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had
+developed an intuitive feel for the answer in this particular case.
+Finally I got a run in which the computer showed the pulsar's
+temperature to be less than absolute zero. I had found an error. I
+chased down the error and fixed it. Now I had improved the program to
+the point where it would not run at all.
+        ― George Greenstein, "Frozen Star: Of Pulsars, Black
+                   Holes and the Fate of Stars"
+%
+I will never use biometrics. I'm afraid they'll make me change my password.
+        ― Drew Sudell
+%
+Few companies really work like the Borg.  Most work a lot more like the Holy
+Roman Empire. News often takes weeks to travel from castle to castle by
+minstrel.
+        ― Drew Sudell
+%
+[The Ramones'] "I Wanna Be Sedated" should be played loud, poorly, and in
+some dingy club where you'd get grounded if your folks found out you were
+there, not quietly while strolling down the freezer aisle.
+        ― Drew Sudell
+%
+I will contend that conceptual integrity is *the* most important consideration
+in system design.
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., _The Mythical Man Month_
+%
+I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's
+a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work.
+        ― Gallagher
+%
+I wish they all could be California girls.
+%
+I wish you humans would leave me alone.
+%
+I would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice
+whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own
+homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.
+        ― Arthur C. Clarke
+%
+I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
+gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the
+missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
+        ― Oliver North
+%
+I wouldn't mind dying ― it's that business of having to stay dead that
+scares the shit out of me.
+        ― R. Geis
+%
+I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
+%
+I'll tell you what kind of guy I was. If you ordered a boxcar full of
+sons-of-bitches and opened the door and only found me inside, you could
+consider the order filled.
+        ― Robert Mitchum
+%
+I'm a misanthrope. What's your fucking problem?
+%
+I'm growing older, but not up.
+        ― Jimmy Buffett
+%
+I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?
+        ― Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate
+%
+I'm mad, and that's a fact./I found out animals don't help.
+Animals think they're pretty smart./Shit on the ground, see in the dark.
+        ― Talking Heads (Fear of Music)
+%
+I'm not breaking the rules. I'm just testing their elasticity.
+%
+I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going.
+%
+I've got a bad feeling about this.
+%
+I've had fun before. This isn't it.
+%
+I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more
+of them who were paralyzed in the head.
+        ― George Wallace
+%
+Idiot Box, n.: The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
+stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+Idiot, n.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
+affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.
+        ― Roy Santoro
+%
+If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.
+        ― Yiddish saying
+%
+If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
+%
+If I had a hammer, I'd use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.
+        ― Howard Rosenberg
+%
+If I had any humility I would be perfect.
+        ― Ted Turner
+%
+If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves
+upon execution.
+        ― Robert Sewell
+%
+If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They
+would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
+        ― Thomas Carlyle
+%
+If Murphy's Law were true, every time you tried to take a breath, all the
+air would be on the other side of the room.
+%
+If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
+%
+If a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be N-1
+passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager.
+        ― T. Cheatham
+%
+If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake
+him up.
+%
+If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,
+and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can
+convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
+        ― Sir Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble
+%
+If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular
+error.
+        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
+%
+If all the philosophers in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn't
+reach a conclusion.
+%
+If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end
+across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
+%
+If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
+        ― Paul Beatty
+%
+If all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a
+conclusion.
+        ― William Baumol
+%
+If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
+it isn't worth the effort.
+%
+If anything can go wrong, it will.
+%
+If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
+%
+If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
+%
+If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
+%
+If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
+identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
+collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then
+I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as
+plentiful as blackberries...
+        ― Leslie Stephen (1832-1904), literary essayist, author
+%
+If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four
+tellers?
+%
+If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?
+%
+If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
+%
+If guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the liberals?
+%
+If I was a religious person, I would consider creationism nothing less than
+blasphemy. Do its adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has
+created that whole vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading
+mankind?
+        ― Arthur C. Clarke, June 5, 1998, in the essay "Presidents, Experts,
+           and Asteroids"
+%
+If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
+%
+If imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not
+use.
+%
+If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
+        ― Bert Lantz
+%
+If it doesn't come from you, shouldn't it come from Gerber?
+        ― Bristol Meyers baby formula ad
+%
+If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly.
+%
+If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
+%
+If it weren't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples.
+%
+If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.
+%
+If it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
+If it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
+        ― A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming
+%
+If life is a stage, I want some better lighting.
+%
+If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by
+the page number.
+%
+If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.
+%
+If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
+%
+If one year is seven dog years, then one day is a dog week.
+%
+If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
+in my name at a Swiss Bank.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
+in my name at a Swiss bank.
+        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
+%
+If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
+%
+If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without
+having to accomplish anything.
+%
+If people were required to know the law rather than obey it, the government
+would be overthrown the very next day.
+%
+If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
+arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the
+physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker
+entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
+        ― Vannevar Bush
+%
+If someone gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
+        ― D. Woodhouse
+%
+If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
+        ― Pope John Paul I
+%
+If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would
+suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only
+fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966,
+only two went back to women.
+        ― Mort Sahl
+%
+If something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
+%
+If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
+presumably flunk it.
+        ― Stanley Garn
+%
+If the bulk of American SF can be said to be written by robots, about
+robots, for robots, then the bulk of English fantasy seems to be written
+by rabbits, about rabbits and for rabbits.
+        ― Michael Moorcock
+%
+If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
+        ― Norm Schryer
+%
+If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
+%
+If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are
+50-50 it will.
+%
+If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a
+circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted
+instantaneously by electricity.
+        ― Samuel F. B. Morse
+%
+If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down. If
+the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down. If the
+bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will
+exceed all expectations.
+        ― Reverend Chichester
+%
+If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
+%
+If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that
+will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
+%
+If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
+        ― Art Hoppe
+%
+If this country is worth saving, it's worth saving at a profit.
+        ― H. L. Hunt
+%
+If this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.
+%
+If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
+%
+If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is
+doing the thinking.
+        ― Lyndon Baines Johnson
+%
+If voting could really change the system, it would be against the law.
+%
+If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are
+headed.
+%
+If we do not change our direction, we might end up were we are headed.
+%
+If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
+inevitiable.
+        ― John F. Kennedy
+%
+If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play
+for awhile.
+%
+If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
+%
+If you are willing to die, you can do anything.
+%
+If you build something a fool can use, only a fool will want it.
+%
+If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.
+%
+If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
+%
+If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
+%
+If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+If you cannot take a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.
+        ― Nikita Khrushchev
+%
+If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
+%
+If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
+%
+If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it
+will always do it.
+        ― Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin
+%
+If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
+%
+If you have to push so hard that you break your penis, you are doing
+something wrong.
+        — Frank McLaughlin
+%
+If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
+%
+If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.
+        ― Graham Summer
+%
+If you make a mistake, you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
+%
+If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
+really make them think they'll hate you.
+%
+If you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody
+in the whole wide world, don't trust him. It means he experiments.
+%
+If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
+        ― Maslow
+%
+If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
+can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly
+develop.
+%
+If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine,
+you won't get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get
+ice, but no cup.
+%
+If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But
+this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is
+somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
+%
+If you see someone without a smile, give them yours.
+        ― Anonymous
+%
+If you substitute other kinds of intellectual property into the GNU
+manifesto, it quickly becomes absurd.
+        ― Cal Keegan
+%
+If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
+%
+If you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first.
+%
+If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
+        ― Derek Bok, president of Harvard
+%
+If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
+payments.
+        ― Earl Wilson
+%
+If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest
+shopping center in the world?
+        ― Richard M. Nixon
+%
+If you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight.
+        ― some IBM guy
+%
+If you work hard and do your homework, you can grow up and get a job doing
+homework.
+        ― former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer
+%
+If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.
+        ― broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center,
+           Houston, July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M.
+%
+If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for
+tomorrow morning, sleep late.
+        ― Henny Youngman
+%
+If you're happy, you're successful.
+%
+If you're not careful, you're going to catch something.
+%
+If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
+%
+If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
+        ― Benjamin Disraeli
+%
+If you've done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
+off with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the
+universe?
+%
+If you've seen one Grand Canyon, you've seen them all.
+        ― a member of the Monkey Wrench Gang
+%
+If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.
+        ― Spiro Agnew
+%
+If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.
+        ― Ronald Reagan
+%
+If your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
+%
+Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.
+        ― Robert Burton
+%
+Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
+%
+Ignore previous fortune.
+%
+I'll play with it first and tell you what it is later.
+        ― Miles Davis
+%
+Illinois isn't exactly the land that God forgot ― it's more like the
+land He's trying to ignore.
+%
+Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
+        ― Jules de Gaultier
+%
+Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism.
+%
+Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
+        ― Fred Allen
+%
+Immortality ― a fate worse than death.
+        ― Edgar A. Shoaff
+%
+Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
+espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting
+opinions.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Important letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the
+mail. Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the
+Boss is reading it.
+%
+In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one
+of the risks he takes.
+        ― Adlai Stevenson
+%
+In English, every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our
+programming languages.
+%
+In a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only,
+we can't control when the five year period will begin.
+%
+In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.
+        ― The Peter Principle
+%
+In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)
+are to be treated as variables.
+%
+In arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,
+psychokinesis, reincarnation, and so on, I am frequently challenged with
+the most popular of all neuro-mythologies ― the notion that we ordinarily
+use only 10 percent of our brains...
+
+This "cerebral spare tire" concept continues to nourish the clientele of
+"pop psychologists" and their many recycling self-improvement schemes. As
+a metaphor for the fact that few of us fully exploit our talents, who could
+deny it? As a refuge for occultists seeking a neural basis of the miraculous,
+it leaves much to be desired.
+        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for
+           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2, pg. 171
+%
+In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty. He
+is always in alliance with the despot.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Horatio G. Spafford, 1814
+%
+In general, it is best to assume that the network is filled with malevolent
+entities that will send in packets designed to have the worst possible effect.
+        ― the draft "Requirements for Internet Hosts" RFC
+%
+In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
+%
+In order to succeed in any enterprise, one must be persistent and patient.
+Even if one has to run some risks, one must be brave and strong enough to
+meet and overcome vexing challenges to maintain a successful business in
+the long run. I cannot help saying that Americans lack this necessary
+challenging spirit today.
+        ― Hajime Karatsu
+%
+In our civilization, and under our republican form of government,
+intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the
+cares of office.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the
+only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the
+customer's shifting idea of what their problem is.
+        ― Jeff Atwood
+%
+In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to
+drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at
+discotheques.
+        ― Art Linkletter
+%
+In the beginning I was made. I didn't ask to me made. No one consulted me
+or considered my feelings in this matter. But if it brought some passing
+fancy to some lowly humans as they haphazardly pranced their way through
+life's mournful jungle then so be it.
+        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android
+%
+In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not
+there if you want to keep writing good code.
+        ― Karl
+%
+In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.
+        ― L. Pasteur
+%
+In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
+the proper order then why can't he?
+%
+[In the future], people like me will be underground and hunted.
+        ― Chuck Murcko, 1995 (at an employer-sponsored brainstorming session)
+%
+In Sedona, "Namaste" means "What can I sell you?"
+        ― Chuck Murcko
+%
+In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
+You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
+        ― Robert Lucky
+%
+In the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.
+        ― Egyptian Book of the Dead
+%
+In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
+        ― Alan Perlis
+%
+In the market, there can be no such thing as exploitation.
+        ― Murray Rothbard
+%
+In the pitiful, multipage, connection-boxed form to which the flowchart has
+today been elaborated, it has proved to be useless as a design tool ―
+programmers draw flowcharts after, not before, writing the programs they
+describe.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
+or becomes true.
+        ― John Lilly
+%
+In the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are
+prepared.
+        ― Louis Pasteur
+%
+In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're different.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+In this world, Truth can wait; she's used to it.
+%
+Incest, n.: Sibling revelry.
+%
+Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose
+job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
+%
+Ingrate, n.: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
+indigestion.
+%
+Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
+        ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
+%
+Innovation is hard to schedule.
+        ― Dan Fylstra
+%
+Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.
+        ― Erma Bombeck
+%
+Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
+%
+Insanity is the final defense ... It's hard to get a refund when the
+salesman is sniffing your crotch and baying at the moon.
+%
+Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
+%
+Integrity has no need for rules.
+%
+Interpreter, n.: One who enables two persons of different languages to
+understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to
+the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
+%
+Is it not strange that the descendants of those Pilgrim Fathers who crossed
+the Atlantic to preserve their own freedom have always proved the most
+intolerant of the spiritual liberty of others?
+        ― Robert E. Lee, in a letter to President Franklin Pierce
+%
+Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to
+be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?
+%
+Is life worth living? It depends on the liver.
+        ― Herbert Beerbohm Tree
+%
+Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of
+the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as
+are out wish to get in?
+        ― Ralph Emerson
+%
+Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune
+tellers take economists seriously?
+%
+Issawi's Laws of Progress:
+1. The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
+2. The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
+%
+It could be worse, you could be in Cleveland.
+%
+It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.
+It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
+thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
+drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of
+giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said
+that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of
+other midgets.
+        ― Alan Cooper
+%
+It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
+%
+It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
+%
+It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
+%
+It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
+        ― Willie Sutton
+%
+It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
+What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
+thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
+        ― Alan Perlis
+%
+It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a
+pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the
+sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+It is bad luck to be superstitious.
+        ― Andrew W. Mathis
+%
+It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
+%
+It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because
+he is not of the same opinion, is a monster.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly
+and try another. But above all, try something.
+        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
+%
+It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
+incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
+twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
+        ― R. Serling
+%
+It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
+incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
+twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
+        ― Rod Serling
+%
+It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice
+versa.
+%
+It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
+%
+It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
+%
+It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
+%
+It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct
+one.
+%
+It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
+if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
+        ― Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
+%
+It is happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
+        ― S. Johnson
+%
+It is important to note that probably no large operating system using current
+design technology can withstand a determined and well-coordinated attack,
+and that most such documented penetrations have been remarkably easy.
+        ― B. Hebbard, "A Penetration Analysis of the Michigan Terminal
+           System", Operating Systems Review, Vol. 14, No. 1, June 1980,
+           pp. 7-20
+%
+It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
+        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil
+           & Refining Company., Houston, TX
+%
+It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not
+desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+It is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system
+would see in our species ― which has tended to be cruel, destructive,
+wasteful, and irrational ― the crown and apex of cosmic evolution.
+Viewing us as the culmination of *anything* is grotesque; viewing us as a
+transitional species makes more sense ― and gives us more hope.
+        ― Betty McCollister, "Our Transitional Species",
+           Free Inquiry magazine, Vol. 8, No. 1
+%
+It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
+%
+It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the
+problem.
+%
+It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat
+somebody.
+        ― Richard M. Nixon
+%
+It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.
+        ― Abraham Lincoln
+%
+It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
+        ― Gore Vidal
+%
+It is not true that life is one damn thing after another ― it's one
+damn thing over and over.
+        ― Edna St. Vincent Millay
+%
+It is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and
+intimidation.
+%
+It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?
+        ― Elizabeth Carpenter
+%
+It is now pitch dark. If you proceed, you will likely fall into a
+pit.
+%
+It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
+virginity could be a virtue.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
+%
+It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the
+lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as
+high as the eagle?
+%
+It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
+statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more
+glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through
+which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the
+day, that is the highest of arts.
+        ― Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"
+%
+It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.
+        ― Robert Bly
+%
+It is the business of little minds to shrink.
+        ― Carl Sandburg
+%
+It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
+        ― Hawkwind
+%
+It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to
+the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is
+eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the
+consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt.
+        ― John Philpot Curran: Speech upon the Right of Election, 1790.
+           (Speeches. Dublin, 1808.)
+%
+It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.
+        ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65)
+%
+It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
+%
+It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon
+insufficient evidence.
+        ― W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876
+%
+It is your destiny.
+        ― Darth Vader
+%
+It just goes to show what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.
+%
+It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
+warning to others.
+%
+It may soon be time for you to look for a new line of work.
+%
+It often works better if you plug it in.
+%
+It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
+%
+It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
+%
+It takes a long time to understand nothing.
+        ― Edward Dahlberg
+%
+It turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the
+system. From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine some
+of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very sharp,
+probably not someone here on campus.
+        ― Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, quoted
+           in "The Technique," Georgia Tech's newspaper, after the computer
+           worm hit the Internet
+%
+It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
+%
+It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
+always thus.
+        ― Dean Lattimer
+%
+It was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.
+Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.
+        ― Hunter S. Thompson
+%
+It will be advantageous to cross the great stream ... the Dragon is on
+the wing in the Sky ... the Great Man rouses himself to his Work.
+%
+It works better if you plug it in.
+%
+It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
+        ― Andrew Jackson
+%
+It's a fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
+%
+It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
+%
+It's all in the mind, ya know.
+%
+It's better to burn out than it is to rust.
+%
+It's better to burn out than to fade away.
+%
+It's currently a problem of access to gigabits through punybaud.
+        ― J. C. R. Licklider
+%
+It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
+%
+It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for
+being right.
+%
+It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
+%
+It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it
+is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It
+isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
+        ― Oxford University Press, Edpress News
+%
+It's later than you think.
+%
+It's like deja vu all over again.
+        ― Yogi Berra
+%
+It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong
+direction.
+%
+It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
+        ― Phil White
+%
+It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
+        ― Alexander Korda
+%
+It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.
+%
+It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom
+window or outside your bedroom, period.
+        ― Groucho Marx
+%
+It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless
+world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less
+cruel and heartless.
+        ― L.R. Knost
+%
+It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
+%
+It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it
+happens.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.
+%
+It's not what we don't know that gets us into trouble, it's what we know that
+ain't so.
+        ― Will Rogers
+%
+It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
+%
+It's smart to pick your friends - but not to pieces.
+%
+It's so humid, you could poach an egg on the sidewalk.
+%
+Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government: No man's life, liberty, or
+property are safe while the legislature is in session.
+%
+Jay's First Law: The classic hierarchy consists of one man at the top with
+three below him, each of who has three below him, and so on with fearful
+symmetry unto the seventh generation, by which stage there is a row of 729
+managers.
+        ― Antony Jay, Management and Machiavelli, 1967
+%
+Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.
+%
+Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
+        ― Michael O'Donoghue
+%
+Jesus was killed by a Moral Majority.
+%
+Jizz changes everything. It's science!
+        ― Jim Chapman
+%
+John Birch Society ― that pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy.
+        ― Edward P. Morgan
+%
+Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so
+at the most inconvenient possible time.
+%
+Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
+to blame it on.
+%
+Jones' Law of Hierarchical Limits: As an administrator, you need to give
+ten pats on the head for each kick in the butt. This is the reason for
+keeping the number of people reporting to you a fairly small number.
+Otherwise, you will run out of hands, but still have an overcapacity in feet.
+%
+Jones' Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
+%
+Jones's First Law:
+        Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
+        endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an
+        obstruction to its progress ― in direct proportion to the
+        importance of their original contribution.
+%
+Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
+%
+Jury ― Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
+%
+Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
+        ― Southern California Oracle
+%
+Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
+%
+Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows
+what it is.
+%
+Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he
+knows what it is.
+%
+Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
+        ― B. Kliban
+%
+Just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that isn't immune to bullets.
+        ― The Brigadier, Dr. Who.
+%
+Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
+twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
+%
+Just remember: you're not a "dummy," no matter what those computer books
+claim. The real dummies are the people who―though technically
+expert―couldn't design hardware and software that's usable by normal
+consumers if their lives depended upon it.
+        ― Walter Mossberg
+%
+Justice is incidental to law and order.
+        ― J. Edgar Hoover
+%
+Justice, like lightning, should ever appear
+To some men hope, to other men fear.
+        ― Jefferson Pierce
+%
+Justice: A decision in your favor.
+%
+Karl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time allotted it.
+%
+Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities
+have been exhausted.
+%
+Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
+%
+Keep in mind always the two constant Laws of Frisbee:
+1. The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land
+   under a car, just out of reach. (This force is technically termed "car
+   suck.")
+2. Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than "Watch this!"
+%
+Ken Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most
+automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gage, nor any of the
+numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver
+makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the center of the dashboard.
+"The experienced driver", he says, "will usually know what's wrong."
+%
+Ketterling's Law: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
+%
+Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority.
+Kinkler's Second Law: All the easy problems have been solved.
+%
+Klein bottle for rent, apply within.
+%
+Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
+        ― Henry N. Camp
+%
+L'extension des privileges des femmes est le principe general de tous progres
+sociaux.
+        ― Charles Fourier, 1808
+%
+Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Lack of skill dictates economy of style.
+        ― Joey Ramone
+%
+Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so
+badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+Laissez Faire Economics is the theory that if each acts like a vulture,
+all will end as doves.
+%
+Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
+serve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
+society...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared
+adventure and achievement to the society at large.
+        ― Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
+%
+Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.
+%
+Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
+%
+Law of Communications: The inevitable result of improved and enlarged
+communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly
+increased area of misunderstanding.
+%
+Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
+        If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
+%
+Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be
+evenly distributed.
+%
+Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
+%
+Lawrence's Axiom: Anger is one letter short of danger.
+%
+Laws of Computer Programming
+(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
+(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
+(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
+(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
+(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
+(6) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
+(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
+    programmer who must maintain it.
+(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you
+    will find that programmers cannot write in English.
+        ― SIGPLAN Notices, Vol. 2, No. 2
+%
+Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how
+tragic your defeats ― approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
+%
+Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
+        ― Anon
+%
+Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
+%
+Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
+%
+Leisure can be justified.
+Recreation maximizes productive stamina.
+Play is not the opposite of work.
+Idleness consolidates thought.
+        ― Thomas "Sam" Frantz
+%
+Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
+%
+Let He who taketh the Plunge Remember to return it by Tuesday.
+%
+Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
+%
+Let me play with it first and I'll tell you what it is later.
+        ― Miles Davis
+%
+Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a
+fantasy, a terrible, terrible lie somebody gave the people long ago.
+        ― Lenny Bruce
+%
+Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
+%
+Let the machine do the dirty work.
+%
+Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us
+restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which
+liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect
+that having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which
+mankind so long bled, we have yet gained little if we countenance a
+political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of a bitter and
+bloody persecutions.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+Let's give discredit where discredit is due.
+        ― Karl Lehenbauer
+%
+Lewis's Law of Travel:
+        The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to
+        anyone, ever.
+%
+Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
+%
+Liberty is the mother not the daughter of order.
+        ― Proudhon
+%
+Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
+%
+Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
+%
+Lies written in ink can never disguise facts written in blood. Blood debts
+must be repaid in kind. The longer the delay, the greater the interest.
+        ― Chinese author Lu Xun, 1926
+%
+Life in a free society is friendly, prosperous, pleasant, cultured, and
+ever-longer.
+        ― Jeff Daiell, 1989, in counterpoint to Hobbes
+%
+Life in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
+        ― Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan
+%
+Life is a pinball machine. You bounce around for a while, and then you drain.
+        ― Joe Bak
+%
+Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
+%
+Life is full of surprises when you're up th' stream of consciousness
+without a paddle...
+        ― Zippy the Pinhead
+%
+Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
+there is nothing in it.
+%
+Life is not one thing after another, it's the same damned thing over and over.
+%
+Life is the application of noble and profound ideas to life.
+        ― Matthew Arnold
+%
+Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
+        ― John Wayne
+%
+Life is wasted on the living.
+        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox IV
+%
+Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
+%
+Life's greatest gift is natural talent.
+        ― P. K. Thomajan
+%
+Life. Don't talk to me about life.
+        ― Marvin the Paranoid Anroid
+%
+Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
+sense from things she found in gift shops.
+        ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
+%
+Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking
+for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.
+        ― Alan McKay
+%
+Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
+%
+Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
+%
+listen: there's a hell of a good universe next door;
+                let's go.
+        ― ee cummings
+%
+Live every day like it's your last because someday you'll be right.
+%
+Live free or die.
+%
+Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip
+around the Sun.
+%
+Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
+%
+Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells awful.
+%
+Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.
+%
+Long distance runners break into more pants.
+%
+Long life is in store for you.
+%
+Look under the sofa cushion; you will be surprised at what you find.
+%
+Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're
+Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or His
+Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the
+whole brevity thing.
+        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
+%
+Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.
+        ― D'Hericault
+%
+Los Angeles is a geometropolitan predicament rather than a city. You can no
+more administer it than you could administer the solar system.
+        ― Jonathan Miller
+%
+Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
+        ― Elbert Hubbard
+%
+Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
+%
+Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver."
+%
+Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
+%
+Lowery's Law: If it jams ― force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
+anyway.
+%
+Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
+%
+Luck is probability taken personally.
+        ― Chip Denman
+%
+Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
+        ― E. Letterman
+%
+Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.
+%
+Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
+%
+Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.
+        ― Alan Turing
+%
+Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ...
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
+%
+Maintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
+%
+Majority: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.
+%
+Make a wish: it might come true.
+%
+Make input easy to proofread
+%
+Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the
+programmers cannot write in English.
+%
+Make it right before you make it faster.
+%
+Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.
+        ― D. B. Hudson
+%
+Make sure all variables are initialized before use.
+%
+Make sure comments and code agree.
+%
+Make sure your code "does nothing" gracefully.
+%
+Making files is easy under the UNIX operating system. Therefore, users
+tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space. It
+has been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is
+the message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.
+        ― System V.2 administrator's guide
+%
+Malek's Law: Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
+%
+Man is a Generalist. Specialization is for insects.
+        ― Lazarus Long
+%
+Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called
+upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Man is a rationalizing animal, not a rational animal.
+        ― R. A. Heinlein
+%
+Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
+only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
+        ― Wernher von Braun
+%
+Man rarely reads the handwriting on the wall until he has his back to it.
+%
+Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
+%
+Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
+%
+Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick
+himself up and carry on...
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
+%
+Mankind has yet to devise a rule that never requires exceptions.
+        ― Wayne Dyer
+%
+Manual, n.: A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a
+given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information
+you need is in the others.
+        ― Ray Simard
+%
+Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.
+%
+Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
+%
+Many are called, few volunteer.
+%
+Many are cold, but few are frozen.
+%
+Many are the wonders of the Universe, and none so wonderful as Mankind!
+        ― Sophocles
+%
+Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
+%
+Many pages make a thick book.
+%
+Many receive advice, few profit from it.
+%
+Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,
+there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he
+was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how
+completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...
+        ― Walt Kelly
+%
+Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery:
+        Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a
+        simple yes or no answer.
+%
+Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+Marshall's generalized iceberg theorem: 7/8ths of everything cannot be seen.
+%
+Martin's Law of Communication: The inevitable result of improved and
+enlarged communication between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly
+increased area of misunderstanding.
+%
+Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a
+receipt.
+%
+Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
+        ― Jules Feiffer
+%
+Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
+        ― R. S. Barton
+%
+McGowan's Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50",
+you can bet it's not $19.95.
+%
+Meader's Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to
+everyone you know, only more so.
+%
+Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
+%
+Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
+        ― Wayne Dyer
+%
+Meditation is not what you think.
+%
+Meeting, n.: An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
+department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
+%
+Memories of you remind me of you.
+        ― Karl
+%
+Memory should be the starting point of the present.
+%
+Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
+%
+Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our
+pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs
+and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires
+us with dread and fear, whether by night or by day, brings us sleeplessness,
+inopportune mistakes, aimless anxieties, absent-mindedness and acts that are
+contrary to habit...
+        ― Hippocrates (c. 460-c. 377 B.C.), The Sacred Disease
+%
+Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American:
+        The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.
+%
+Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American:
+        All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.
+%
+Menu: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
+%
+Meskimen's Law: There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
+do it over.
+%
+Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of
+Casablanca.
+%
+Miksch's Law: If a string has one end, then it has another end.
+%
+Mile's Law: where you stand depends on where you sit.
+%
+Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
+        ― Groucho Marx
+%
+Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
+        ― Groucho Marx
+%
+Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
+themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
+        ― Susan Ertz
+%
+Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is
+almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee,"
+they say, "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a
+President who appoints the people who are going to rummage around in their
+lives for the next four years. Consider all the people who sat home in a
+stew in 1968 rather than vote for Hubert Humphrey. They showed Humphrey.
+Those people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the
+Nixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads
+among the gold and the black.
+        ― Russel Baker, "Ford without Flummery"
+%
+Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.
+        ― Jean Cocteau
+%
+Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
+%
+Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in?
+Calvin: Denial.
+Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... 
+%
+Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
+%
+Mister Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
+%
+Mitchell's Law of Committees:
+        Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are
+        held to discuss it.
+%
+Modern man is the missing link between the apes and humans.
+%
+Modesty is an ornament, but you go further without it.
+        ― German Proverb
+%
+Modesty is of no use to a beggar.
+        ― Homer
+%
+Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic
+review and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.
+%
+Money is like a sixth sense, and you can't use the other five without it.
+%
+Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+Morality is one thing. Ratings are everything.
+        ― A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom"
+%
+More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path
+leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let
+us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.
+%
+Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:
+        Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd
+        be out of a job.
+%
+Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot
+if the instructions were printed on the heel.
+%
+Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are
+three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
+        ― Larry Wall
+%
+Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
+%
+Mr. Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
+population is growing.
+%
+Mr. Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
+%
+Mrs Podgorny: Angus how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?
+Angus: I'll have t'do it in two goes.
+%
+Muddy water let stand will clear.
+        ― Chinese Proverb
+%
+Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
+%
+Murphy's Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory.
+%
+My answer is, bring them on.
+        ― George W. Bush, on Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces;
+           Washington, D.C.; July 3, 2003
+%
+My grandson has learned how to hold and carry the cat. He has also learned
+how to flush the toilet. I can't help but believe that in the
+not-too-distant future there will be another lesson in store for him.
+        ― Dave Henry
+%
+My head is bloodied, but unbowed.
+        ― From the poem "Invictus"
+%
+My life is so fucking miserable that I don't know whether I was
+born or if Morrissey just sang me into existence.
+        ― R.K. Milholland
+%
+My mother is a fish.
+        ― William Faulkner
+%
+My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
+%
+My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems,
+and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable.... We should be
+reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is
+indifferent to what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in
+whether or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space,
+because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought us, in our
+generation, to a point from which we can explore and understand and utilize
+it. To turn back now would be to deny our history, our capabilities.
+        ― James A. Michener
+%
+My past is my own.
+        ― The Shadow (DC Comics)
+%
+Naeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
+%
+Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature,
+because it is a product what we can find in our neighborhoods.
+        ― George W. Bush, Austin, Texas; December 20, 2000
+%
+Natural selection won't matter soon, not anywhere as much as concious
+selection. We will civilize and alter ourselves to suit our ideas of what
+we can be. Within one more human lifespan, we will have changed ourselves
+unrecognizably.
+        ― Greg Bear
+%
+Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
+character, give him power.
+        ― Abraham Lincoln
+%
+Necessity is a mother.
+%
+Neil Armstrong to Walter Cronkite: "Well, Walter, I believe that the Good
+Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to
+use up mine running up and down a street."
+%
+Neil Armstrong tripped.
+%
+Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
+%
+Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
+%
+Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
+%
+Never drink Coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with
+the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into
+lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the
+window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.
+%
+Never insult an alligator until you have crossed the river.
+%
+Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
+        ― Billy Rose
+%
+Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
+%
+Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
+%
+Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
+%
+Never throw a bird at a dragon.
+%
+Never count your chickens until they rip your lips off.
+%
+New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and
+his wife most often reminds him to act it.
+        ― Webster's Unafraid Dictionary
+%
+New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
+        ― David Letterman
+%
+New boots, big steps.
+        ― Chinese Proverb
+%
+New systems generate new problems.
+%
+Newlan's Truism:
+        An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government
+        economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
+%
+Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
+%
+Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law:
+        A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
+%
+Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't
+have a lucky day this year.
+%
+Next Wednesday you will be presented with a great opportunity.
+%
+Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying
+as an income tax refund.
+        ― F. J. Raymond
+%
+Nihil tam munitum quod non expugnari pecunia possit. (No fort is so strong
+that it cannot be taken with money.)
+        ― Cicero
+%
+Nihilism should commence with oneself.
+%
+No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
+%
+No guts, no glory.
+%
+No man was ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket in
+his pocket, or at least had been fooling around with timetables.
+        ― Archie Goodwin
+%
+No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the Legislature is in
+session.
+        ― Lysander Spooner
+%
+No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up.
+%
+No matter where you go, there you are.
+        ― Buckaroo Banzai
+%
+No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
+%
+No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
+        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
+%
+No one is fit to be trusted with power. ... No one. ... Any man who has lived
+at all knows the follies and wickedness he's capable of. ... And if he does
+know it, he knows also that neither he nor any man ought to be allowed to
+decide a single human fate.
+        ― C. P. Snow, The Light and the Dark
+%
+No one is talking behind your back as far as you know.
+%
+No one who accepts the sovereignty of truth can be a foot soldier in a party
+or movement. He will always find himself out of step.
+        ― Sidney Hook
+%
+No one's happiness but my own is in my power to achieve or to destroy.
+        ― Ayn Rand
+%
+No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.
+%
+No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
+%
+No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.
+%
+No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough,
+'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.
+        ― Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene 1
+%
+No user-serviceable parts inside. Refer to qualified service personnel.
+%
+Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
+%
+Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
+        ― Tallulah Bankhead
+%
+Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
+%
+Nobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with
+constructive praise.
+%
+Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:
+        Negative expectations yield negative results.
+        Positive expectations yield negative results.
+%
+Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
+%
+None love the bearer of bad news.
+        ― Sophocles
+%
+Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
+%
+Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
+%
+Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
+%
+Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced ― even a proverb is no
+proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.
+        ― John Keats
+%
+Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
+%
+Nothing in progression can rest on its original plan. We may as well think of
+rocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant.
+        ― Edmund Burke
+%
+Nothing is as repulsive as phoniness; conversely, nothing is as magnetic
+as reality.
+        ― Howard Henrichs
+%
+Nothing is done until nothing is done.
+%
+Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult
+than to understand him.
+        ― Fyodor Dostoevski
+%
+Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
+        ― Andrew Young
+%
+Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm: It moves stones, and it charms brutes.
+%
+Nothing recedes like success.
+        ― Walt Kelly
+%
+Now and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature.
+%
+Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.
+%
+O'Riordan's Theorem: Brains x Beauty = Constant.
+Purmal's Corollary: As the limit of (Brains x Beauty) goes to infinity,
+availability goes to zero.
+%
+O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.
+%
+Objects on your screen are closer than they appear.
+%
+Obviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which
+he has based it. Give him the truth and he may still go wrong when he has
+the chance to be right, but give him no news or present him only with
+distorted and incomplete data, with ignorant, sloppy or biased reporting,
+with propaganda and deliberate falsehoods, and you destroy his whole
+reasoning processes, and make him something less than a man.
+        ― Arthur Hays Sulzberger
+%
+Ocean, n.: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for
+man ― who has no gills.
+%
+Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
+        ― Plato
+%
+Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
+        ― Thomas Paine
+%
+Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.
+%
+Of course, someone who knows more about this will correct me if I'm wrong,
+and someone who knows less will correct me if I'm right.
+        ― David Palmer (palmer@tybalt.caltech.edu)
+%
+Ogden's Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
+%
+Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again.
+        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android
+%
+Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
+%
+Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
+%
+Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
+        ― Trotsky
+%
+Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
+%
+Oliver's First Law of Computing: Computers are much too complex; they'll
+never work.
+        ― Robert Oliver (circa 1982)
+%
+On a clear disk you can seek forever.
+%
+On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software
+tool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University.
+        ― John Lions (U. of Toronto (?))
+%
+Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were
+forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
+        ― W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
+%
+One Page Principle: A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11-
+inch paper cannot be understood.
+        ― Mark Ardis
+%
+One becomes a critic when one cannot be an artist, just as a man becomes a
+stool pigeon when he cannot be a soldier.
+        ― Gustave Flaubert (letter to Madame Louise Colet, August 12, 1846)
+%
+One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
+%
+One difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet
+when well oiled.
+%
+One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible.
+Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought,
+a rivalry of aim.
+        ― Henry Brook Adams
+%
+One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they
+never have to stop and answer the phone.
+%
+One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
+%
+One may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or
+about the veracity of a given experimenter, but, taking all the supportive
+experiments together, the weight of evidence is so strong as readily to
+merit a wise man's reflection.
+        ― Professor William Tiller, parapsychologist, Stanford University,
+           commenting on psi research
+%
+One millihelen: the unit of beauty required to launch just one ship
+%
+One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible
+from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at
+least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts
+are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but
+when He's good, nobody can touch Him.
+        ― John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983
+%
+One of the most misleading representational techniques in our language is
+the use of the word "I".
+        ― Ludwig Wittgenstein
+%
+One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled
+long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no
+longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured
+us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge ― even to ourselves ― that
+we've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the
+new bamboozles rise.)
+        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,"
+           Parade, February 1, 1987
+%
+One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
+%
+One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint.
+%
+One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
+%
+One's mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.
+%
+Only God can make random selections.
+%
+Opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one, but nobody wants to look at
+the other guy's.
+        ― Hal Hickman
+%
+Optimists say the glass is half full, pessimists say the glass is half
+empty, engineers say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
+%
+Optimization hinders evolution.
+%
+Optimization is not some mystical state of grace, it is an intricate act
+of human labor which carries real costs and real risks.
+        ― Tom Neff
+%
+Ordinary people: I fuckin' hate 'em.
+        ― Harry Dean Stanton in "Repo Man"
+%
+Oregon, n.:
+        Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday
+night.
+%
+Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
+Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
+        ― Mike Adams
+%
+Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
+%
+Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,
+hardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science, not
+aboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other dimension.
+        ― Robert A. Baker, "The Aliens Among Us: Hypnotic Regression
+           Revisited", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2
+%
+Our liberty depends upon the freedom of the press, and that cannot be
+limited without being lost.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson (1786)
+%
+Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.
+        ― Roy L. Ash, ex-president Litton Industries
+%
+Out of body, back in five minutes.
+%
+Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too
+dark to read.
+%
+Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
+%
+Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
+%
+Overload ― core meltdown sequence initiated.
+%
+PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs,
+whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but
+perverted professionals.
+        ― Jon Ribbens
+%
+Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
+%
+Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
+%
+Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to
+criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
+        ― D. J. Hicks
+%
+Parking fees that Universal Studios collected from picketers of _The Last
+Temptation of Christ_: $4,500
+        ― Harper's Index Nov. 1988
+%
+Parkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay in important decision,
+the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
+%
+Parkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to
+increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
+%
+Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.
+%
+Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
+%
+Benford's Law of Controversy: Passion is inversely proportional to the
+amount of real information available.
+        ― Gregory Benford
+%
+Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
+        ― Eric Hoffer
+%
+Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce
+%
+Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Pay no attention to that man behind the curtains.
+%
+Peace: a period of cheating between two wars.
+%
+People are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange surroundings ―
+they can become accustomed to reading Lisp and Fortran programs, for example.
+        ― Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press
+%
+People get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory.
+%
+People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
+the future.
+%
+People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how
+hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
+        ― Calvin
+%
+People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.
+%
+People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never
+slept in a room with a single mosquito.
+%
+People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage
+of them.
+%
+People who look down on other people do not end up being looked up to.
+%
+People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that
+Benjamin Franklin said it first.
+%
+People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
+%
+Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
+(Confound those who have said our remarks before us.)
+        ― Aelius Donatus
+%
+Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.
+        ― C. N. Parkinson
+%
+Perpetuo vincit qui utitur clementia. (He is forever victor who employs
+clemency.)
+        ― Syrus
+%
+Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
+        ― E. G. Leter
+%
+Peter's Law of Substitution: Look after the molehills, and the mountains
+will look after themselves.
+%
+Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.
+%
+Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
+%
+pi seconds is a nanocentury.
+        ― Tom Duff
+%
+Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die
+        ― John W. Campbell
+%
+Plagiarism is basic to all culture.
+        ― Papa Seeger
+%
+Plan ahead: it was not raining when Noah built the ark.
+        ― Richard Cushing
+%
+Please don't ask me what the score is. I'm not even sure what the game is.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the
+truth.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+Please go away.
+%
+Please ignore previous fortune.
+%
+Please try to limit the amount of `this room doesn't have any bazingas'
+until you are told that those rooms are `punched out.' Once punched
+out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas,
+and such.
+        ― N. Meyrowitz
+%
+Please update your programs.
+%
+Poetry is nobody's business except the poet's, and everybody else can fuck off.
+        ― Philip Larkin
+%
+Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.
+%
+Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks.
+        ― Willem Dafoe in "Platoon"
+%
+Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell
+all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
+%
+Politician, n.: From the Greek "poly" ("many") and the French "tete"
+("head" or "face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).
+Hence "polytetien", a person of two or more faces.
+        ― Martin Pitt
+%
+Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.
+        ― Leonardo da Vinci
+%
+Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Power is poison.
+%
+Power, n: The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.
+%
+Practice is the best of all instructors.
+        ― Publilius
+%
+Predestination was doomed from the start.
+%
+Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.
+        ― Niels Bohr
+%
+Preserve the old, but know the new.
+%
+Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.
+%
+Prevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations or
+from a "universal mind" (the repository of all past wisdom and creativity)
+not only are implausible but also unfairly demean the stunning achievements
+of individual human brains.
+        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for
+           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163-171
+%
+Prevent security leaks.
+%
+Pro is to Con as Progress is to Congress.
+%
+Probably the best operating system in the world is the [operating system]
+made for the PDP-11 by Bell Laboratories.
+        ― Ted Nelson, October 1977
+%
+Proclaim liberty throughout the land and to all the inhabitants thereof.
+        ― Leviticus 25:10
+%
+Programming is an art form that fights back.
+%
+Programming is 10% science, 25% ingenuity and 65% getting the ingenuity to
+work with the science.
+%
+Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a
+lifetime.
+        ― Michael Sinz
+%
+Progress is nothing but the victory of laughter over dogma.
+        ― Benjamin DeCasseres
+%
+Promptness is its own reward
+If one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
+%
+Pronounce your prepositions, dammit!
+%
+Proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the
+downtrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited
+awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
+        ― David Baker, paraphrasing Harold Urey,
+           in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
+%
+Pull yourself together; things are not all that bad.
+%
+Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
+%
+Put your trust in those who are worthy.
+%
+Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people:
+Those who understand what they do not manage.
+Those who manage what they do not understand.
+%
+Q. What's all wrinkled and hangs out your underwear?
+A. Your mom!
+%
+Q.: "Why do trans-atlantic transfers take so long?"
+A.: "Electrons don't swim very fast."
+%
+Q: How do you play religious roulette?
+A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck
+   by lightning first.
+%
+Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat ?
+A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
+%
+Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to execute a job?
+A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
+%
+Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to do a logical right shift?
+A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
+%
+Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
+A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
+   Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
+   the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20%
+   of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences
+   of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
+%
+Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A: One and a half.
+%
+Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
+A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those
+   Californians trying to share the experience.
+%
+Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself
+   symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a
+   netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin
+   cosmos of nothingness.
+%
+Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
+A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
+   light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government
+   plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
+   Prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin
+   to break the bulb in the first place.
+%
+Q: How many Pro-Lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
+A: Two. One to screw it in and one to say that light started when the
+   screwing began.
+%
+Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
+A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
+%
+Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
+A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
+   brightly-colored power tools.
+%
+Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
+A. Only one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want
+   to change.
+%
+Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
+A: Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
+%
+Q: Why did the tachyontac cross the road?
+A: Because it was on the other side.
+%
+Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
+A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
+%
+Quantity is no substitute for quality, but it's the only one we've got.
+%
+Quoth the Raven, "Never mind."
+%
+Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.
+%
+Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
+%
+Rational people don't go stomping around demanding that the world be
+perfect for them.
+        ― Matthew N. Dodd <winter @ jurai.net>, in comments posted to the
+           freebsd-java mailing list, 6 Feb 2000
+%
+READ UNHAPPY - MAKNAM
+        ― LISP 1.5
+%
+Romeo:   Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
+Mercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church.
+%
+Rage, rage, against the dying of the light!
+        ― Dylan Thomas
+%
+Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
+        ― George W. Bush; Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000
+%
+Ray's Rule of Precision:
+        Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
+%
+Re: graphics: A picture is worth 10K words ― but only those to describe the
+picture. Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with
+pictures.
+%
+Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
+%
+Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
+you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
+wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
+spring up in the middle of the machine room.
+%
+Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
+%
+Real Programs don't use shared text. Otherwise, how can they use
+functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
+%
+Real Time, adj.: Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there
+and then.
+%
+Real wealth can only increase.
+        ― R. Buckminster Fuller
+%
+Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than
+being flat broke and having a stomach ache.
+        ― Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
+%
+Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
+%
+Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
+speeds faster than 85 MPH (140k/h).
+        ― presumable misprint from the 1987 Buick Grand National
+           owner's manual.
+%
+Reliable software must kill people reliably.
+        ― Andy Mickel
+%
+Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
+%
+Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for
+every noble enterprise.
+        ― James Madison, in a letter to William Bradford, April 1, 1774
+%
+Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse
+in Cleveland.
+%
+Remember: You cannot drain the ocean with a teaspoon.
+        ― Ignas Bernstein
+%
+Removing the error messages "now that the program is working" is like
+wearing a parachute on the ground, but taking it off once you're in the air.
+        ― Kernighan & Plauger [Software Tools]
+%
+Render unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62.
+%
+Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
+%
+Reporter, n.: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a
+tempest of words.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
+        ― Wernher von Braun
+%
+Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get
+another chance later on.
+%
+Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
+        ― "Oh, Lucky Man"
+%
+Ride the tributaries to reach the sea.
+        ― Arab Proverb
+%
+Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention
+        Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will
+        reject the proposal.
+%
+Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made between alternative
+courses of action, most people will choose the worse one possible.
+%
+Rule of Feline Frustration:
+        When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly
+        content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the
+        bathroom.
+%
+Rule of the Great:
+        When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
+        thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
+%
+Rules for driving in New York:
+        1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
+        2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
+        3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.
+%
+SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out!
+        ― Ken Thompson
+%
+Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent.
+        ― George Orwell
+%
+Salad is what food eats.
+%
+Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
+%
+Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
+%
+Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that
+anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.
+        ― Alanna
+%
+Schapiro's Explanation: The grass is always greener on the other side ―
+but that's because they use more manure.
+%
+Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
+without any proof.
+        ― Ashley Montague
+%
+Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
+%
+Scott's First Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.
+%
+Scott's Second Law: When an error has been detected and corrected, it will
+        be found to have been wrong in the first place.
+Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be
+        impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
+%
+See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and
+over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.
+        ― George W. Bush; Greece, New York; May 24, 2005
+%
+Seminars, n.: From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
+%
+Semper ubi sub ubi.
+%
+Serocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.
+%
+Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
+        ― M. C. Reed.
+%
+Sex is the poor man's opera.
+        ― G. B. Shaw
+%
+Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go,
+it's one of the best.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+Shake hands with your mother again.
+        ― from an old hymn
+%
+Shaw's Principle:
+        Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
+        want to use it.
+%
+She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic
+candidates for president.
+        ― John Greenway, "The American Tradition", on feminist
+           Elizabeth Gould Davis
+%
+She missed an invaluable opportunity to give him a look that you could
+have poured on a waffle ...
+%
+Short words are best, and the old words when short are best of all.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.
+        ― Martin Mull
+%
+Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is
+playing golf with his boss.
+%
+Silverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
+%
+Simon's Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
+%
+Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
+%
+Skinner's Constant (or Flannagan's Finagling Factor): That quantity which,
+when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you
+get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
+%
+Slime is the agony of water.
+        ― Jean-Paul Sartre
+%
+So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in
+praise of intelligence.
+        ― Bertrand Russell
+%
+So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and
+our doubts serve to reassure us.
+        ― Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest
+%
+So where the sheer incompetence of politicians and generals used to start
+wars, the sheer incompetence of us computer people has now put an end to
+it. No mean feat. For centuries humanity has been looking for the Weapon
+That Would End War Forever. We have found it. War has ended, not with the
+bang of a bomb, but with the gentle whisper of crashing software.
+        ― Gerard Stafleu (gerard@uwovax.uwo.ca)
+%
+So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here.
+        ― Biff in "Back to the Future"
+%
+Socialism is power, power, and more power.
+        ― Oswald Spengler, Hitler's intellectual forebear
+%
+Society is the presumption of habit over instinct.
+        ― Peter Taylor
+%
+Sodd's Second Law: Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is
+bound to occur.
+%
+Software entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human
+construct because no two parts are alike. If they are, we make the two
+similar parts into a subroutine ― open or closed. In this respect, software
+systems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where
+repeated elements abound.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
+'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take
+all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover.
+        ― Bill Gates, President, Microsoft, Inc.
+%
+Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
+        ― Arnold Glasow
+%
+Some men are discovered; others are found out.
+%
+Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
+people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
+        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
+%
+Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
+%
+Some people hope to achieve immortality through their works or their children.
+I would prefer to achieve it by not dying.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit
+them on the head.
+%
+Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall
+instead of using it
+        ― Gordon R. Dickson
+%
+Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they
+should live next door and just visit now and then.
+        ― Katherine Hepburn
+%
+Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
+        ― Sigmund Freud
+%
+Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
+%
+Sometimes the only way out of a difficulty is through it.
+%
+Sometimes, too long is too long.
+        ― Joe Crowe
+%
+Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers: If a subordinate asks you a pertinent
+question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down,
+paraphrase the question back at him.
+%
+Speak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.
+%
+Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am sure
+that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging,
+cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster. Allocate an array and free the
+middle third? Sure! Why not? Multiply a character string times a bit
+string and assign the result to a float decimal? Go ahead! Free a
+controlled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before passing it
+back? Overlay three different types of variable on the same memory
+location? Anything you say! Write a recursive macro? Well, no, but Real
+Men use rescan. How could a language so obviously designed and written by
+Real Men not be intended for Real Man use?
+%
+Spiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal
+power should not become too important in any church.
+        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
+%
+Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
+%
+Stay out of the road, if you want to grow old.
+        ― Pink Floyd
+%
+Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming
+        Never test for an error condition you don't know how to
+        handle.
+%
+Stock brokers invest your money until it's all gone.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you. Now, if it'd only take a bath.
+%
+Stult's Report: Our problems are mostly behind us. What we have to do now is
+fight the solutions.
+%
+Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
+%
+Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap.
+%
+Success is a journey, not a destination.
+%
+Success is not free. Neither is failure.
+        ― Ray Kroc
+%
+Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss
+of enthusiasm.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+Success is what happens when something goes right.
+        ― Arnold Glasow
+%
+Successful and fortunate crime is called virtue.
+        ― Seneca
+%
+Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.
+%
+Superiority is always detested.
+        ― Balasar Gracian
+%
+Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest
+men in national government too.
+        ― Richard M. Nixon
+%
+Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
+%
+TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
+        ― Frank Lloyd Wright
+%
+Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a
+hole in his head.
+%
+Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
+%
+Tact is the great ability to see other people as they think you see them.
+%
+Tact, n.: The unsaid part of what you're thinking.
+%
+Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
+%
+Take everything in stride. Trample anyone who gets in your way.
+%
+Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
+enough cheese.
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it
+needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
+        ― Kipling
+%
+Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
+        ― Ken Kesey
+%
+Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind
+the tree."
+        ― Russell Long
+%
+Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he
+grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
+%
+Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means
+for going backwards.
+        ― Aldous Huxley
+%
+Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe
+you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll have to touch it
+to be sure.
+%
+Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.
+        ― R. Geis
+%
+Than self restraint, there is nothing better.
+        ― Lao Tzu
+%
+That 150 lawyers should do business together ought not to be expected.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson, on the U.S. Congress.
+%
+That government is best which governs least.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+That government is best which governs not at all.
+        ― Henry David Thoreau
+%
+That is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended ― civilizations
+are built up ― excellent institutions devised; but each time something
+goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to
+the top, and then it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the
+machine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and
+then it breaks down.
+        ― C. S. Lewis
+%
+That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
+        ― Thoreau
+%
+That which is not good for the swarm, neither is it good for the bee.
+%
+That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they
+really hate is lousy programmers.
+        ― Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"
+%
+The Abrams' Principle: The shortest distance between two points is off the
+wall.
+%
+The Briggs/Chase Law of Program Development: To determine how long it will
+take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that
+by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.
+%
+The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach
+their children to speak it.
+        ― G. B. Shaw
+%
+The Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.
+%
+The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided
+by the number of people in the group.
+%
+The Idea is like grass. It craves light, likes crowds, thrives on
+cross-breeding, grows better for being stepped on.
+        ― Ursula K. LeGuin, "The Dispossessed"
+%
+The Kennedy Constant: Don't get mad ― get even.
+%
+The Law of Software Envelopment (at MIT): Every program at MIT attempts to
+expand until it can read mail. Those programs which cannot expand are
+replaced by ones which can.
+%
+The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
+to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
+        ― Anatole France
+%
+The Official MBA Handbook on business cards: Avoid overly pretentious job
+titles such as "Lord of the Realm, Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India"
+or "Director of Corporate Planning."
+%
+The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
+right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
+        ― Dorothy Nevill
+%
+The Roman Rule: The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the
+one who is doing it.
+%
+The Swartzberg Test: The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
+%
+The Third Law of Photography: If you did manage to get any good shots, they
+will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all
+of the dark leaks out.
+%
+The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
+%
+The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and
+religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging
+from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its
+yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the
+world put together.
+        ― Sir Peter Medawar
+%
+The United States has entered an anti-intellectual phase in its history,
+perhaps most clearly seen in our virtually thought-free political life.
+        ― David Baltimore
+%
+The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by
+people who want some.
+        ― Dwight MacDonald
+%
+The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the―the vast majority
+of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these
+people and we will bring them to justice.
+        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; October 28, 2003
+%
+The angels wanna wear my red shoes.
+%
+The applause of a single human being is of great consequence.
+        ― Samuel Johnson
+%
+The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
+%
+The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
+%
+The author should gaze at Noah, and ... learn, as they did in the Ark, to crowd
+a great deal of matter into a very small compass.
+        ― Sydney, Smith, Edinburgh Review
+%
+The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
+average man can see better than he can think.
+%
+The best cure for anger is delay.
+        ― Seneca
+%
+The best prophet of the future is the past.
+%
+The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
+fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
+drifting side by side to our common doom.
+        ― Clarence Darrow
+%
+The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off
+by a bit.
+        ― Anonymous
+%
+The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
+%
+The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.
+        ― Anonymous
+%
+The better part of maturity is knowing your goals.
+        ― Arnold Glasow
+%
+The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse
+time.
+        ― Merrick Furst
+%
+The chain that can be yanked is not the cosmic chain.
+        ― Cal Keegan
+%
+The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up
+at the steam fitters' picnic.
+%
+The chief barrier to happiness is envy.
+        ― Frank Tyger
+%
+The chief cause of problems is solutions.
+        ― Eric Sevareid, CBS Evening News, December 29, 1970
+%
+The city of the dead antedates the city of the living.
+        ― Lewis Mumford
+%
+The clothes have no emperor.
+        ― C. A. Hoare, about Ada.
+%
+The complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one.
+Hence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity
+often abstract away its essence.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
+        ― Alan Perlis
+%
+The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems
+and solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting
+language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best
+dangerous.
+        ― Bjarne Stroustrup in "The C++ Programming Language"
+%
+The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is
+none of my business, but ―" is to place a period after the word "but."
+Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period.
+Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you
+talked about.
+        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
+%
+The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
+%
+The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going
+down.
+%
+The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold,
+persistent experimentation.
+        ― Franklin Delano Roosevelt
+%
+The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
+        ― John McNulty
+%
+The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
+as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of
+the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the
+dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with
+this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine
+doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of
+us who are fortunate enough never to have been one ― like watching
+Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.
+%
+The debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?
+%
+The decision didn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
+%
+The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
+%
+The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius has limits.
+%
+The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science
+requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
+        ― Robert Heinlein
+%
+The difference between sympathy and empathy is three letters: "yes".
+        ― P. Taylor
+%
+The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere
+in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths,
+Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in
+Christianity.
+        ― John Adams
+%
+The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
+%
+The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
+        ― Buckminster Fuller
+%
+The end of labor is to gain leisure.
+%
+The end of the world will occur at 3:00 p.m., this Friday, with
+symposium to follow.
+%
+The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.
+        ― Horace
+%
+The evolution of the human race will not be accomplished in the ten thousand
+years of tame animals, but in the million years of wild animals, because man
+is and will always be a wild animal.
+        ― Charles Galton Darwin
+%
+The existence of god implies a violation of causality.
+%
+The fact that it works is immaterial.
+        ― L. Ogborn
+%
+The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
+%
+The fancy is indeed no other than a mode of memory emancipated from the order
+of space and time.
+        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge
+%
+The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
+        ― Roger Levian
+%
+The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
+%
+The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of a project
+takes 90% of the time.
+%
+The first and great commandment is: Do not let them scare you.
+        ― Elmer Davis
+%
+The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
+        ― Abbie Hoffman
+%
+The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
+        ― Paul Erlich
+%
+The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
+        ― Alan Coult
+%
+The following statement is true.
+The previous statement is false.
+%
+The fountain code has been tightened slightly so you can no longer dip objects
+into a fountain or drink from one while you are floating in mid-air due to
+levitation.
+
+Teleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur if the
+character does not have fire resistance.
+
+        ― README file from the NetHack game
+%
+The fourth law of thermodynamics:
+The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
+%
+The fundamentalists, by "knowing" the answers before they start [examining
+evolution], and then forcing nature into the straitjacket of their
+discredited preconceptions, lie outside the domain of science―-or of any
+honest intellectual inquiry.
+        ― Stephen Jay Gould, Bully for Brontosaurus (1990)
+%
+The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
+%
+The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
+%
+The gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
+%
+The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at
+least until we've finished building it.
+%
+The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
+The goal of nature is to build better mice.
+%
+The government of the United States is not in any sense founded
+on the Christian Religion.
+        ― George Washington (The Treaty of Tripoli)
+%
+The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
+%
+The greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace.
+        ― Holly Near
+%
+The hand that rocks the cradle can also cradle a rock.
+        ― Feminist saying, circa 1968-1972
+%
+The hardest thing to open is a closed mind.
+        ― Leo Burnett
+%
+The heart has no rainbows when the eye has no tears.
+%
+The hell with the Prime Directive: let's kill something.
+%
+The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent
+thinkers.
+%
+The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for
+lists of "Ten Best".
+        ― H. Allen Smith
+%
+The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity
+― the rest is overhead for the operating system.
+%
+The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange
+protein ― it rejects it.
+        ― P. Medawar
+%
+The hypothesis: Amid a wash of paper, a small number of documents become the
+critical pivots around which every project's management revolves. These are the
+manager's chief personal tools.
+        ― Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to
+lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the
+fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into
+it in the first place.
+        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
+%
+The ideal is impossible. The idea of the ideal is essential.
+        ― P. Taylor
+%
+The inability to benefit from feedback appears to be the primary cause of
+pseudoscience. Pseudoscientists retain their beliefs and ignore or distort
+contradictory evidence rather than modify or reject a flawed theory. Because
+of their strong biases, they seem to lack the self-correcting mechanisms
+scientists must employ in their work.
+        ― Thomas L. Creed, "The Skeptical Inquirer," Summer 1987
+%
+The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important
+point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly
+important thing to people.
+        ― Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King
+%
+The Internet? Is that thing still around?
+        ― Homer Simpson
+%
+The Internet is the most powerful stupidity amplifier ever invented. It’s
+like television without the television part.
+        —- James “Kibo” Perry
+%
+The lame in the path outstrip the swift who wander from it.
+        ― Francis Bacon
+%
+The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.
+        ― Blaise Pascal
+%
+The life of a repo man is always intense.
+%
+The life of money-making is one undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is
+evidently not the good we are seeking, for it is merely useful for the sake
+of something else.
+        ― Aristotle
+%
+The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
+%
+The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching
+train.
+%
+The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get
+much sleep.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.
+        ― Henry Kissinger
+%
+The love of money is only one among many.
+        ― Alfred Marshall
+%
+The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
+%
+The main thing is the play itself. I swear that greed for money has nothing
+to do with it, although heaven knows I am sorely in need of money.
+        ― Feodor Dostoyevsky
+%
+The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be. ...
+The natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and
+experience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it
+enough.
+        ― Adam Smith
+%
+The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the
+crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no
+one has ever been.
+        ― Alan Ashley-Pitt
+%
+The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
+%
+The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda
+can, when discarded will last forever; and a $20,000 car which, when
+properly cared for, will rust out in two or three years.
+%
+The meek are contesting the will.
+%
+The meek shall inherit the earth ― they are too weak to refuse.
+%
+The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
+        ― J. Paul Getty
+%
+The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us will go to the stars.
+%
+The meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
+%
+The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
+        ― Tenessee Williams
+%
+The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
+%
+The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and
+robbers there will be.
+        ― Lao Tsu
+%
+The more things change, the more they stay insane.
+%
+The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
+%
+The more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one of us
+is right.
+%
+The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
+        ― Andy Warhol
+%
+The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
+discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."
+        ― Isaac Asimov
+%
+The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to
+correlate all its contents.
+        ― H. P. Lovecraft
+%
+The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around. I
+hope I don't get run over again.
+%
+The next six days are dangerous.
+%
+The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
+choose from.
+        ― Andrew S. Tanenbaum
+%
+The notion of a "record" is an obsolete remnant of the days of the
+80-column card.
+        ― Dennis M. Ritchie
+%
+The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze
+all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have
+answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when
+called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators it is
+difficult to remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
+%
+The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
+%
+The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when
+to cringe.
+%
+The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
+%
+The only good bug is a dead bug.
+But the best bug is the one that wasn't there to begin with.
+%
+The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the
+`social sciences' is: some do, some don't.
+        ― Ernest Rutherford
+%
+The only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop
+and take a rest.
+%
+The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
+        ― Edmund Burke
+%
+The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any
+use to oneself.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
+%
+The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.
+        ― Brian Kernighan
+%
+The opossum is a very sophisticated animal. It doesn't even get up
+until 5 or 6 pm.
+%
+The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a
+profound truth may well be another profound truth.
+        ― Niels Bohr
+%
+The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
+        ― Bohr
+%
+The optimum committee has no members.
+        ― Norman Augustine
+%
+The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because
+it isn't here.
+        ― Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley)
+%
+The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato
+chip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food
+market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose
+        ― James Finke, President, Commodore Int'l Ltd. (1982)
+%
+The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter
+swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the
+batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The
+center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute
+his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.
+        ― Dizzy Dean
+%
+The plural of spouse is spice.
+%
+The police are not there to create disorder.  The police are there to
+preserve disorder.
+        ― The late Richard J. Daly, Mayor of the city of Chicago
+%
+The power to destroy a planet is insignificant when compared to the power of
+the Force.
+        ― Darth Vader
+%
+The price of greatness is responsibility.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate
+knowledge of its ugly side.
+        ― James Baldwin
+%
+The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
+constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
+appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
+statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This
+also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
+        ― FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers
+%
+The probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the
+stupidity of your action.
+%
+The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go
+to erase it.
+        ― Glaser and Way
+%
+The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a
+chance to prove it.
+%
+The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be
+pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
+        ― Elizabeth Taylor
+%
+The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
+%
+The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
+%
+The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-
+stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the
+imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and
+rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+The purpose of most meetings seems to be to get as much human meat as possible
+into one room.
+        ― James Iry, via Twitter
+%
+The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong ―
+but that's the way to bet.
+        ― Damon Runyon
+%
+The rain it raineth on the just
+        And also on the unjust fella,
+But chiefly on the just, because
+        The unjust steals the just's umbrella.
+%
+The reason ESP, for example, is not considered a viable topic in
+contemporary psychology is simply that its investigation has not proven
+fruitful...After more than 70 years of study, there still does not exist
+one example of an ESP phenomenon that is replicable under controlled
+conditions. This simple but basic scientific criterion has not been met
+despite dozens of studies conducted over many decades... It is for this
+reason alone that the topic is now of little interest to psychology... In
+short, there is no demonstrated phenomenon that needs explanation.
+        ― Keith E. Stanovich, "How to Think Straight About Psychology",
+           pp. 160-161
+%
+The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
+%
+The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our
+behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.
+        ― Steve Furtick
+%
+The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
+persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all
+progress depends on the unreasonable man.
+        ― George Bernard Shaw
+%
+The revolution will not be televised.
+%
+The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
+        ― Emerson
+%
+The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
+This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
+%
+The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
+This means that only left-handed people are in their right minds.
+%
+The road to to success is always under construction.
+        ― Florian Bruckner
+%
+The secret cement of any organization is trust.
+        ― Donald E. Walker
+%
+The shell must break before the bird can fly.
+        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson
+%
+The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
+        ― Noelie Altito
+%
+The silly question is the first intimation of some totally new development.
+%
+The so-called "desktop metaphor" of today's workstations is instead an
+"airplane-seat" metaphor. Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while
+seated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference ― one can
+see only a very few things at once.
+        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
+%
+The solution to a problem changes the problem.
+        ― J. Martin
+%
+The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.
+        ― Ed Bluestone
+%
+The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
+%
+The steady state of disks is full.
+        ―Ken Thompson
+%
+The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study
+of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it
+proceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and
+it admits of no conclusion.
+        ― Thomas Paine, from The Age of Reason
+%
+The subject matter of research is no longer nature in itself, but nature
+subjected to human questioning . . .
+        ― Werner Heisenberg
+%
+The sun was shining on the sea,
+Shining with all his might:
+He did his very best to make
+The billows smooth and bright ―
+And this was very odd, because it was
+The middle of the night.
+        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
+%
+The superfluous is very necessary.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
+        ― Xenophon
+%
+The tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long time
+to come. One can expect the human race to continue attempting systems just
+within or just beyond our reach; and software systems are perhaps the most
+intricate and complex of man's handiworks. The management of this complex
+craft will demand our best use of new languages and systems, our best
+adaptation of proven engineering management methods, liberal doses of common
+sense, and ... humility to recognize our fallibility and limitations.
+        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
+%
+The Three Laws of Thermodynamics
+The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
+The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
+The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero.
+%
+The time is right to make new friends.
+%
+The trouble with a kitten is that
+When it grows up, it's always a cat
+        ― Ogden Nash.
+%
+The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
+%
+The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing
+more important to do.
+%
+The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
+appreciates how difficult it was.
+%
+The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer
+is doing until it's too late.
+        ― Seymour Cray
+%
+The trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to
+prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.
+        ― Louis Kronenberger
+%
+The truth is that all those having power ought to be mistrusted.
+        ― James Madison
+%
+The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And
+vice versa.
+%
+The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic
+light table for cutting and pasting documents.
+%
+The universe is laughing behind your back.
+%
+The unnatural, that too is natural.
+        ― Goethe
+%
+The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
+regarded as a criminal offense.
+        ― E. W. Dijkstra (1982)
+%
+The vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense that
+high aims are worth-while. Vigorous societies harbor a certain
+extravagance of objectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of
+personal gratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal,
+the love of a good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such
+an accomplishment, the Peace brought by something worth-while.
+        ― Alfred North Whitehead, 1963, in "The History of Manned Space
+           Flight"
+%
+The way to make a small fortune in the stock market is to start with a
+large one.
+%
+The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons
+ordering me to Submit.
+        ― Nytwind
+%
+The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
+        ― Wavy Gravy
+%
+The wife you save may be your own.
+        ― Unofficial slogan of supporters of one of FDR's sons,
+           a notorious womanizer, during the son's first congressional race
+%
+The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
+%
+The world is a fantasy, so let's find out about it.
+        ― Astrophysicist Dennis Sciama, to Timothy Ferris (quoted in
+           Ferris's book, "The Mind's Sky")
+%
+The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
+%
+[The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened
+form―www―takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.
+        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
+%
+The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who think the world is
+divided into two kinds of people and those who do not.
+%
+The world is no nursery.
+        ― Sigmund Freud
+%
+The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.
+        ― Father Robert F. Capon
+%
+The world will not recognize your talent until you demonstrate it.
+%
+The world's as ugly as sin,
+And almost as delightful
+        ― Frederick Locker-Lampson
+%
+The worst form of failure is the failure to try.
+%
+The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of
+four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all
+the answers.
+%
+Theorem: A cat has nine tails. Proof: No cat has eight tails. A cat has one
+tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
+%
+There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
+%
+There are 10 types of people who understand binary: The ones who do, and
+the ones who don't.
+%
+There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
+        ― Winston Churchill
+%
+There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
+and praiseworthy ...
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+There are no bugs, only unrecognized features.
+%
+There are no giant crabs in here, Frank.
+%
+There are no saints, only unrecognized villains.
+%
+There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always
+bitch about and those nobody uses.
+        ― Bjarne Stroustrup
+%
+There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both
+plants and animals. When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
+and when the lights go out, they turn into animals. But then again,
+don't we all?
+%
+There are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary and those who don't.
+%
+There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
+        ― Heisenberg
+%
+There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
+        ― Disraeli
+%
+There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire
+someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
+%
+There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life:
+"The Lord of the Rings" and "Atlas Shrugged". One is a childish fantasy
+that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes,
+leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to
+deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
+        ― John Rogers (kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html)
+%
+There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make
+it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to
+make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
+        ― Charles Anthony Richard Hoare
+%
+There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
+%
+There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true. The other
+is to refuse to accept what is true.
+        ― Søren Kierkegaard
+%
+There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a
+suitable application of high explosives.
+%
+There can be no offense where none is taken.
+        ― Japanese proverb
+%
+There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
+        ― Henry Kissinger
+%
+There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing
+about.
+%
+There is a bear following you around.
+%
+There is a decivilizing bug somewhere at work; unconsciously persons of
+stern worth, by not resenting and resisting the small indignities of the
+times, are preparing themselves for the eventual acceptance of what they
+themselves know they don't want.
+        ― attributed to E.B. White
+%
+There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of
+paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.
+%
+There is no "Complete Idiot's Guide to Creationism," but perhaps one is not
+needed.
+        ― Andrei Codrescu, on NPR Aug. 25, 1999
+%
+There is no excuse for the use of the word "synergies" on any project where
+common sense and straight talking are the norm.
+        ― Paul Robinson <paul @ iconoplex.co.uk>, in a post to the
+           FreeBSD-Hackers mailing list, 17 July, 2003
+%
+There is some sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that it's basically
+impossible to send a piece of hate mail through the Internet without its
+being touched by a gay program. That's kind of funny.
+        ― Eric Allman
+%
+There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage
+and security to all, but especially to democracies as against despots. What
+is it? Distrust.
+        ― Demosthenes: Philippic 2, sect. 24.
+%
+There is a time in the tides of men,
+Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
+On the other hand, don't count on it.
+        ― T. K. Lawson
+%
+There is danger in delaying, good fortune in acting.
+%
+There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing the
+rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries civilization
+will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. We must provide a Great
+Age or see the collapse of the upward striving of the human race.
+        ― Alfred North Whitehead
+%
+There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
+%
+There is no idea so sacred that it cannot be questioned, analyzed...
+and ridiculed.
+        ― Cal Keegan
+%
+There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to
+attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So
+it is written in the genetic cards ― only physics and war hold him in
+check. And also the wife who wants him home by five, of course.
+        ― Encyclopadia Apocrypha, 1990 ed.
+%
+There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it
+        ― G. B. Shaw
+%
+There is no statute of limitations on stupidity.
+        ― Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3.
+%
+There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
+%
+There is no such thing as not enough time if you are doing what you want to do.
+%
+There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
+%
+There is no time like the pleasant.
+%
+There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
+%
+There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
+        ― Swift
+%
+There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to
+do great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way.
+        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
+%
+There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and
+that is not being talked about.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it
+would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
+%
+There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a howling
+away at the sons of his father and going blurp blurp in between as if it were
+a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to
+see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was.
+        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
+%
+There were in this country two very large monopolies. The larger of the
+two had the following record: the Vietnam War, Watergate, double- digit
+inflation, fuel and energy shortages, bankrupt airlines, and the 8-cent
+postcard. The second was responsible for such things as the transistor,
+the solar cell, lasers, synthetic crystals, high fidelity stereo recording,
+sound motion pictures, radio astronomy, negative feedback, magnetic tape,
+magnetic "bubbles", electronic switching systems, microwave radio and TV
+relay systems, information theory, the first electrical digital computer,
+and the first communications satellite. Guess which one got to tell the
+other how to run the telephone business?
+%
+There will always be survivors.
+        ― Robert Heinlen
+%
+There will be big changes for you, but you will be happy.
+%
+There you go man,
+Keep as cool as you can.
+It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.
+Keep on being free!
+%
+There's a bug somewhere in your code.
+%
+There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.
+%
+There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
+%
+There's always someone, somewhere,
+with a big nose, who knows
+and who trips you up and laughs
+when you fall.
+        ― The Smiths
+%
+There's at least one fool in every married couple.
+%
+There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
+%
+There's more than one way to skin a cat:
+        Way number 15 ― Krazy Glue and a toothbrush.
+%
+There's more than one way to skin a cat:
+        Way number 27 ― Use an electric sander.
+%
+There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear
+playing the clarinet.
+%
+There's no future in time travel
+%
+There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one
+thing always leading to another.
+        ― E. B. White
+%
+There's no place like home.
+%
+There's no place like $HOME.
+%
+There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
+        ― Dr. Who
+%
+There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right
+keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
+        ― J. S. Bach
+%
+There's nothing wrong with America that a good erection wouldn't cure.
+        ― David Mairowitz
+%
+There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn
+what it is I'll get married again.
+        ― Clint Eastwood
+%
+There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is
+becoming an endangered synthetic.
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+These patriots don't mince words... Okay, sure, they ARE dangerous,
+hopelessly ignorant, inbred, retarded borderline lunatics with an
+insatiable lust for the blood of sinners ― but at least they're HONEST
+about it.
+        ― Reverend Ivan Stang, cofounder of the Church of the Subgenius,
+           about a group known as Free Love Ministries, in his book _High
+           Weirdness By Mail_
+%
+They [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach
+of daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions
+of the duperies on which they live.
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+They also surf who only stand on waves.
+%
+They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!
+%
+Things are always at their best in the beginning.
+        ― Pascal
+%
+Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
+        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower
+%
+Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
+%
+Things are not as simple as they seems at first.
+        ― Edward Thorp
+%
+Things won't get any better, so get used to it.
+%
+Think honk if you're a telepath.
+%
+This fortune intentionally not included.
+%
+This fortune is false.
+%
+This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.
+%
+This fortune will self destruct in 5 years.
+%
+This isn't brain surgery; it's just television.
+        ― David Letterman
+%
+This space unintentionally left blank.
+%
+This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks ― to have
+a system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no machines,
+no wires, no controls.
+        ― Michael Swanwick, "Vacuum Flowers"
+%
+Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of
+doing you good, you should run for your life.
+        ― Attributed to Thoreau by William H. Whyte, Jr., in
+           The Organization Man (1956)
+%
+Those of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to whatever
+church he sees fit, and to worship God in his own way, cannot be accused
+of prejudice when we do not want to see public education connected with
+religious control of the schools, which are paid for by taxpayers' money.
+        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
+%
+Those who are quick in deciding are in danger of being mistaken.
+        ― Sophocles
+%
+Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of
+Silly Putty.
+        ― Dennis Rawlins, astronomer
+%
+Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their
+hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,
+without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in
+the God idea, not God Himself.
+        ― Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish philosopher and writer
+%
+Those who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.
+%
+Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
+%
+Those who can't repeat the past are condemned to remember it.
+        ― Mark O'Donnell
+%
+Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
+        ― Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hacker
+%
+Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents,
+for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
+        ― Aristotle
+%
+Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.
+%
+Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
+revolution inevitable.
+        ― John F. Kennedy
+%
+Those who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know.
+%
+Those who want the Government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit
+are like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide
+to avoid assassination.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+Throw out your gold teeth / And see how they roll.
+The answer they reveal: / Life is unreal.
+        ― Steely Dan
+%
+Time and tide wait for no man.
+%
+Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
+%
+Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
+        ― Graffiti
+%
+Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
+%
+Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
+%
+Time wounds all heels.
+%
+Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is
+writing a book.
+        ― Cicero
+%
+Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
+        ― Frank Lloyd Wright
+%
+To be awake is to be alive.
+        ― Henry David Thoreau, in "Walden Pond"
+%
+To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
+%
+To be is to program.
+%
+To be overbusy is a witless task.
+        ― Sophocles
+%
+To be perfect is to have changed often.
+        ― J. H. Newman
+%
+To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the
+target.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+To be wrong all the time is an effort, but some manage it.
+        ― William Feather
+%
+To be, or what?
+        ― Sylvester Stallone
+%
+To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the
+competent.
+%
+To do easily what is difficult for others is the mark of talent.
+        ― H. F. Amiel
+%
+To downgrade the human mind is bad theology.
+        ― C. K. Chesterton
+%
+To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer.
+        ― Morris Kingston
+%
+To err is human, to forgive divine.
+%
+To follow foolish precedents, and wink
+With both our eyes, is easier than to think.
+        ― William Cowper
+%
+To invent products out of thin air, you don't ask people what they want ―
+after all, who would've told you ten years ago that they needed a CD
+player? You ask them what problems they have when they get up in the
+morning.
+        ― Robert Hall, Sr. Vice President, GVO, as quoted in the December,
+           1991, issue of Fortune
+%
+To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
+        ― Thomas Edison
+%
+To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
+%
+To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a
+deep delight of the blood.
+        ― Georges Santayana
+%
+To know the world one must construct it.
+        ― Cesare Pavese
+%
+To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
+%
+To program anything that is programmable is obsession.
+%
+To program is to be.
+%
+To steal from a thief is not theft. It is merely irony.
+        ― Zorro, while retrieving money taxed from Californians
+%
+To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.
+        ― Daiell's Law (a take-off on Felson's Law)
+%
+To teach is to learn.
+%
+To those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional
+system development, exploratory development techniques may seem messy,
+inelegant, and unsatisfying. But it's a question of congruence: precision
+and flexibility may be just as disfunctional in novel, uncertain situations
+as sloppiness and vacillation are in familiar, well-defined ones. Those
+who admire the massive, rigid bone structures of dinosaurs should remember
+that jellyfish still enjoy their very secure ecological niche.
+        ― Beau Sheil, "Power Tools for Programmers"
+%
+Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
+%
+Today is the last day of your life so far.
+%
+Too clever is dumb.
+        ― Ogden Nash
+%
+Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
+        ― Mae West
+%
+Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.
+%
+Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
+%
+True innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough to
+launch a market but lacks the heft to own it.
+        ― Timm Martin
+%
+Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind.
+        ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
+%
+Truthful, adj.: Dumb and illiterate.
+        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
+%
+Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
+        ― Charles Schulz
+%
+Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
+        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
+%
+Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
+specification is that it should run noiselessly.
+%
+Turnaucka's Law: The attention span of a computer is only as long as its
+electrical cord.
+%
+Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
+%
+Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.
+        ― Howard Kandel
+%
+Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.
+%
+Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
+%
+UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
+%
+UFOs are for real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
+%
+Uncertain fortune is thoroughly mastered by the equity of the calculation.
+        ― Blaise Pascal
+%
+Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb:
+        Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a
+        hammer or get a splinter in it.
+%
+Uncompensated overtime? Just Say No.
+%
+Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
+ordinance under which you can be booked.
+        ― Robert D. Sprecht (Rand Corp)
+%
+Under deadline pressure for the next week. If you want something, it
+can wait. Unless it's blind screaming paroxysmally hedonistic ...
+%
+Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:
+        Superiority is recessive.
+%
+United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the
+Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of
+all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of
+all the patriots of every persuasion.
+
+Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time low over the
+world.
+        ― Isaac Asimov
+%
+Universe, n.: The problem.
+%
+University, n.: Like a software house, except the software's free, and it's
+usable, and it works, and if it breaks they'll quickly tell you how to fix it.
+%
+UNIX *is* user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
+        ― unknown
+%
+Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.
+        ― Anthony Hope
+%
+Unless you are very rich and very eccentric, you will not enjoy the luxury of
+a computer in your own home.
+        ― Edward Yourdon, 1975.
+%
+Use GOTOs only to implement a fundamental structure.
+%
+Use debugging compilers.
+%
+Use free-form input where possible.
+%
+Use library functions.
+%
+Use the Force, Luke.
+%
+Useful knowledge is a great support for intuition.
+        ― Charles B. Rogers
+%
+Users of a tool are willing to meet you halfway; if you do ninety percent
+of the job, they will be ecstatic.
+        ― Software Tools, p.136.
+%
+VMS isn't an operating system, it's a playpen for DEC system programmers.
+        ― Herb Blashtfalt
+%
+Van Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
+%
+Variables won't. Constants aren't.
+%
+Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
+        1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only
+            once.
+        2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data
+            points.
+%
+Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.
+%
+Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
+%
+Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
+        ― Salvor Hardin
+%
+Vique's Law:
+A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
+%
+Virtue is its own punishment.
+%
+Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
+from where you left them to where you can't find them.
+%
+Vitamin C deficiency is apauling
+%
+Volcano - a mountain with hiccups.
+%
+Vote anarchist.
+%
+Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the
+fact you're a goddamn moron.
+        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
+%
+War is menstruation envy.
+%
+Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
+%
+Wasting time is an important part of living.
+%
+Watch out for off-by-one errors.
+%
+We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.
+        ― Whole Earth Catalog
+%
+We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.
+%
+We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
+        ― Walt Kelly, "Pogo"
+%
+We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
+        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower
+%
+We are not alone.
+%
+We are what we pretend to be.
+        ― Kurt Vonnegut, JR
+%
+We call our dog Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
+%
+We can defeat gravity. The problem is the paperwork involved.
+%
+We can't let children think it's okay to dress up like Vikings and go
+around hollering.
+        ― Dogbert, on opera
+%
+We can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting
+        ― Stanley Sutton
+%
+We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you.
+%
+We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company.
+%
+We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.
+        ― John Culkin
+%
+We don't want to discourage the innovators and those who take risks because
+they're afraid of getting sued by a lawsuit.
+        ― George W. Bush; Washington, D.C.; June 24, 2004
+%
+We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
+For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
+Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
+This day shall gentle his condition:
+And gentlemen in England now a-bed
+Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
+And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
+That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
+        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act IV, Scene 3
+%
+We have met the enemy and he is us
+        ― Walt Kelly (in POGO)
+%
+We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
+%
+We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always
+respect their good judgement.
+%
+We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin
+%
+They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
+deserve neither liberty nor safety.
+        ― Benjamin Franklin  
+%
+We must remember the First Amendment which protects any shrill jackass
+no matter how self-seeking.
+        ― F. G. Withington
+%
+We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
+%
+We want to create puppets that pull their own strings.
+        ― Ann Marion
+%
+We were spanking each other with meat and then suddenly it got weird.
+        ― Joe Hacket
+%
+We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one
+technical problem ― how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
+%
+We work to become, not to acquire.
+        ― Elbert Hubbard
+%
+We'll be a great country where the fabrics are made up of groups and
+loving centers.
+        ― George W. Bush, Kalamazoo, Michigan; March 27, 2001
+%
+We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
+        ― Rufus T. Firefly, in "Duck Soup"
+%
+We're here to give you a computer, not a religion.
+        ― attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga
+%
+We're the weirdest monkeys ever.
+        ― Karl Lehenbauer
+%
+We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center
+of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week,
+but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
+        ― Andy Rooney
+%
+Wear me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong
+as death, passion cruel as the grave; it blazes up like blazing fire, fiercer
+than any flame.
+        [Song of Solomon 8:6 (NEB)]
+%
+Weiler's Law:
+        Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
+%
+Weinberg's First Law: Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
+%
+Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers
+wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy
+civilization.
+%
+Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
+%
+Welcome to the human race, with its wars, disease and brutality.
+        ― Chrissie Hynde (The Pretenders), "Show Me"
+%
+Welcome to The Machine.
+%
+Welcome to the working week.
+I know it don't thrill you
+I hope it don't kill you.
+%
+Well, I killed my own grandfather and here I am! Guess there's no paradox
+when time travel isn't involved.
+        ― Andrew Kennedy
+%
+Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in
+poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come
+and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!
+        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
+%
+Well, you see, it's such a transitional creature. It's a piss-poor
+reptile and not very much of a bird.
+        ― Melvin Konner, from "The Tangled Wing", quoting a zoologist who has
+        studied the archeopteryx and found it "very much like people"
+%
+Were there fewer fools, knaves would starve.
+        ― Anonymous
+%
+Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently
+save a couple of hours in the library.
+%
+Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
+%
+What a waste it is to lose one's mind ― or not to have a mind at all.
+How true that is.
+         ― V.P. Dan Quayle, garbling the United Negro College Fund slogan
+            in an address to the group (from Newsweek, May 22nd, 1989)
+%
+What are you doing wrong with our bug-free product?
+%
+What cannot be eaten must be civilized.
+        ― Peter Taylor
+%
+What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!
+        ― Bill Kirchenbaum, comedian
+%
+What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
+%
+What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
+%
+What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes.
+%
+What is a magician but a practising theorist?
+        ― Obi-Wan Kenobi
+%
+What is mind? No matter.
+What is matter? Never mind.
+        ― Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875
+%
+What is the difference between the modern computer and a Turing machine?
+It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest and the
+establishment of a Hilton on its peak.
+%
+What is tolerance? ― it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed
+of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly ―
+that is the first law of nature.
+        ― Voltaire
+%
+What is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.
+%
+What is virtue today may be vice tomorrow.
+%
+What is worth doing is worth delegating.
+%
+What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do.
+%
+What makes the Universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing
+to compare it with.
+%
+What publishers are looking for these days isn't radical feminism. It's
+corporate feminism ― a brand of feminism designed to sell books and
+magazines, three-piece suits, airline tickets, Scotch, cigarettes and, most
+important, corporate America's message, which runs: "Yes, women were
+discriminated against in the past, but that unfortunate mistake has been
+remedied; now every woman can attain wealth, prestige and power by dint of
+individual rather than collective effort."
+        ― Susan Gordon
+%
+What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
+        ― Ursula K. LeGuin
+%
+What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
+%
+What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
+%
+What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
+%
+What this calls for is a special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
+        ― Vyvyan Basterd, "The Young Ones"
+%
+What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.
+%
+What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
+%
+What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
+%
+What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
+%
+What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
+        ― Peter S. Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"
+%
+What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
+        ― Bengamin Disraeli
+%
+What we do not understand we do not possess.
+        ― Goethe
+%
+What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
+%
+What, me worry?
+%
+What boots it at one gate to make defence,
+And at another to let in the foe?
+        ― John Milton, Samson Agonistes (l. 560)
+%
+Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
+        ― Collis P. Huntingdon
+%
+When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
+ladies, and, of course, the goat.
+%
+When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
+it on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
+        ― Al Capone
+%
+When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now
+I'm beginning to believe it.
+        ― Clarence Darrow
+%
+When I was in my twenties, not shaving for a few days gave me a cool Don
+Johnson/Miami Vice look. Now that I'm in my forties, though, it tends to
+make me look more like Otis from Mayberry.
+        ― Tom Gray
+%
+When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into
+the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
+        ― Woody Allen
+%
+When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
+%
+When Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about to occupy, and
+driven out many infidels before you...you're to cut them down and exterminate
+them. You're to make no compromise with them or show them any mercy.
+[Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]
+%
+When a Banker jumps out of a window, jump after him ― that's where the
+money is.
+        ― Robespierre
+%
+When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the
+thing," it's the money.
+        ― Kim Hubbard
+%
+When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
+%
+When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is
+not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space
+travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
+        ― Robert Heinlein
+%
+When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the
+sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain
+relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
+        ― Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
+%
+When all other means of communication fail, try words.
+%
+When asked, "If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United
+States, then why do you live here?" Mencken replied, "Why do men go to zoos?"
+%
+When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
+an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
+        ― Edmund Burke
+%
+When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried
+before.
+        ― Mae West
+%
+When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask? Well, last year, I
+think it was a Tuesday.
+%
+When everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four more
+months of work to do.
+        ― C. Portman of ICL Ltd.
+%
+When in doubt, do what the President does ― guess.
+%
+When in doubt, lead trump.
+%
+When in doubt, punt.
+%
+When in doubt, use brute force.
+        ― Ken Thompson
+%
+When love is gone, there's always justice.
+And when justice is gone, there's always force.
+And when force is gone, there's always Mom.
+Hi, Mom!
+        ― Laurie Anderson
+%
+When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
+        ― Calvin Coolidge
+%
+When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought
+the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the
+earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your
+view is wronger than both of them put together.
+        ― Isaac Asimov, "The Relativity of Wrong",
+           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 14 No. 1, Fall 1989
+%
+When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only
+say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
+        ― Alan J. Perlis
+%
+When the government bureau's remedies do not match your problem, you
+modify the problem, not the remedy.
+%
+When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
+%
+When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most
+insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are
+required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and
+exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
+        ― George Bernard Shaw
+%
+When we are ignorant of the answer to an important question, one way
+to proceed is to ask which path of inquiry promises best to facilitate
+learning.
+        ― Timothy Ferris, "The Mind's Sky: Human Intelligence in a
+           Cosmic Context."
+%
+When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is
+not hereditary.
+        ― Thomas Paine
+%
+When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find
+anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,
+two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the
+history of war have so few been led by so many.
+        ― General James Gavin
+%
+When you are alone you are all your own.
+        ― Leonardo da Vinci
+%
+When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
+%
+When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
+%
+When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
+        ― The Wall Street Journal
+%
+Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".
+        ― Dave Parnas
+%
+Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
+        ― Oscar Wilde
+%
+Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried
+        ― Thomas Jefferson
+%
+Where humor is concerned there are no standards ― no one can say what
+is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
+        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
+%
+Where is it written in the Constitution that you may take children from their
+parents, and parents from their children, and compel them to fight the battles
+of any war in which the folly or wickedness of government may engage it?
+        ― Daniel Webster, 1814
+%
+Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
+%
+Wherever you go, there you are.
+        ― Buckaroo Banzai
+%
+Whether you can hear it or not
+The Universe is laughing behind your back
+        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
+%
+While Europe's eye is fix'd on mighty things,
+The fate of empires and the fall of kings;
+While quacks of State must each produce his plan,
+And even children lisp the Rights of Man;
+Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,
+The Rights of Woman merit some attention.
+        ― Robert Burns, Address on "The Rights of Woman",
+                   November 26, 1792
+%
+While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is
+admission to someone else.
+%
+While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own
+form of misery.
+%
+While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never
+does.
+%
+While you don't greatly need the outside world, it's still very reassuring to
+know that it's still there.
+%
+Whipit! Whipit good!
+%
+Whistler's Law:
+        You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.
+%
+Who has more leisure than a worm?
+        - Seneca
+%
+Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
+%
+Who made the world I cannot tell;
+'Tis made, and here am I in hell.
+My hand, though now my knuckles bleed,
+I never soiled with such a deed.
+        ― A. E. Housman
+%
+Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and masturbate?
+%
+Who works achieves and who sows reaps.
+        ― Arab Proverb
+%
+Who's on first?
+%
+Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
+%
+Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
+        ― Book of Proverbs
+%
+Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to
+avoid responsibility with?
+%
+Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently
+there must be a beverage.
+        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
+%
+Why does opportunity always knock at the least opportune moment?
+%
+Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that
+happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told
+it to the same person?
+        ― La Rochefoucauld
+%
+Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
+        ― G. Gordon Liddy
+%
+Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
+%
+Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
+        ― Lily Tomlin
+%
+Wiker's Law: Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.
+%
+Wiker's Law:
+        Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
+%
+Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
+        ― George W. Bush, Concord, NH; January 29, 2000
+%
+Williams and Holland's Law:
+        If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by
+        statistical methods.
+%
+Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
+it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
+%
+With all the fancy scientists in the world, why can't they just once
+build a nuclear balm?
+%
+With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
+%
+With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand
+miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and
+still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no
+such thing as progress.
+        ― Ransom K. Ferm
+%
+With friends like these, who need hallucinations?
+%
+With great effort, you move the rug aside, revealing a trap door.
+%
+Without coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in
+the way he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere
+as an indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no
+less important to him than his table or his white robe.
+        ― Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac
+%
+Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
+%
+Words are the voice of the heart.
+%
+Words must be weighed, not counted.
+%
+Worst Vegetable of the Year: The brussels sprout.
+This is also the worst vegetable of next year.
+        ― Steve Rubenstein
+%
+Wozencraft's Law: If you make all of your plans on the assumption that a
+particular thing won't happen―it will.
+%
+Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave
+robbing and beneath managing.
+        ― Gerald Weinberg
+%
+Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
+%
+Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards
+removed.
+        ― Bob Gray
+%
+Writing programs needs genius to save the last order or the last millisecond.
+It is great fun, but it is a young man's game. You start it with great
+enthusiasm when you first start programming, but after ten years you get a
+bit bored with it, and then you turn to automatic-programming languages and
+use them because they enable you to get to the heart of the problem that you
+want to do, instead of having to concentrate on the mechanics of getting the
+program going as fast as you possibly can, which is really nothing more than
+doing a sort of crossword puzzle.
+        ― Christopher Strachey, 1962
+%
+Xerox does it again and again and again and ...
+%
+Xerox never comes up with anything original.
+%
+XML is just data with that Internet shit wrapped around it.
+        ― Joe Romello, by way of Steve Sapovits
+%
+Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
+%
+Yes, but which self do you want to be?
+%
+Yes, many primitive people still believe this myth...But in today's technical
+vastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different.
+        ― The Firesign Theater
+%
+Yes, we have no bonanzas.
+%
+Yesterday upon the stair
+I met a man who wasn't there.
+He wasn't there again today ―
+I think he's from the CIA.
+%
+Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
+        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
+%
+Yinkel, n.: A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one
+will notice.
+        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
+%
+You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
+        ― Al Capone
+%
+You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
+%
+You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
+the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
+        ― Alan Perlis
+%
+You can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you
+have all the facts, you cannot make proper judgements about what is going on.
+        ― Harry S Truman
+%
+You can observe a lot just by watching.
+        ― Yogi Berra
+%
+You can often profit from being at a loss for words.
+        ― Frank Tyger
+%
+You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding
+decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left
+over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart.
+        ― F. Allen
+%
+You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of
+supercomputers.
+        ― Steven Feiner
+%
+You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
+%
+You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
+%
+You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
+%
+You can't get there from here.
+%
+You can't have great software without a great team, and most software teams
+behave like dysfunctional families.
+        ― Jim McCarthy
+%
+You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
+%
+You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic
+enough worrying about what's happening now.
+        ― Lauren Bacall
+%
+You can't teach self-esteem. Self-esteem arises from attempting challenging
+tasks and mastering them.
+%
+You can't underestimate the power of fear.
+        ― Tricia Nixon
+%
+You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
+%
+You cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do.
+        ― Henry Ford
+%
+You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
+%
+You cannot succeed by criticizing others.
+%
+You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.
+        ― Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict
+%
+You don't have to explain something you never said.
+        ― Calvin Coolidge
+%
+You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
+        ― J. D. Salinger
+%
+You know, you really half give me a buzz.
+        ― Stevie Ray Vaughan, "Honey Bee" (from "Couldn't Stand the Weather")
+%
+You know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the United
+States? Because your hackers have so much mobility into the establishment.
+Here, there is no such mobility. If you have the slightest bit of
+intellectual integrity you cannot support the government.... That's why the
+best computer minds belong to the opposition.
+        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity
+%
+You may call me by my name, Wirth, or by my value, Worth.
+        ― Nicklaus Wirth
+%
+You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.
+        ― Alfred Kahn
+%
+You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
+%
+You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
+%
+You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you.
+I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but
+we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.
+        ― J. Wellington Wells
+%
+You see but you do not observe.
+        ― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in "The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes"
+%
+You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
+if they are dead.
+%
+You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
+freedom and liberty.
+        ― Henrick Ibson
+%
+You're never too old to become younger.
+        ― Mae West
+%
+Your attitude determines your attitude.
+        ― Zig Ziglar, self-improvement doofus
+%
+Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you
+from enjoying it.
+%
+Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
+%
+Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
+%
+Your reality is lies and balderdash, and I'm glad to say that I have no grasp
+of it.
+        ― Baron von Munchausen
+%
+Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
+%
+Youth is the trustee of posterity.
+%
+Youth is wasted on the young.
+        ― George Bernard Shaw
+%
+Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is
+when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
+%
+Zero Defects, n.: The result of shutting down a production line.
+%
+Zimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.
+%
+Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words
+since I first called my brother's father dad.
+        ― William Shakespeare, "King John"
+%
+Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
+        People are always available for work in the past tense.
+%
+[In the U. S. Army] An officer does not take an oath of loyalty to the
+Commander-in-Chief.  He takes an oath of loyalty to the Constitution.
+        ― Sam Donaldson
+%
+[Leslie Stahl was] a pussy compared to Rather.
+        ― George H. W. Bush
+%
+grep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines.
+%
+After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare
+%
+All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They
+never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced
+upon them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.
+%
+A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
+%
+College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the
+faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the
+trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and
+necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
+%
+Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by
+Jackasses.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the
+black flag, and begin slitting throats.
+        ― H.L. Mencken
+%
+Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
+improbable.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a
+well-known solution to every human problem — neat, plausible, and wrong.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "The Divine Afflatus" (16 November 1917)
+%
+Equality before the law is probably forever inattainable. It is a noble
+ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is
+not rights but privileges.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
+%
+Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
+improbable.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, "Prejudices: Third Series", 1922
+%
+For one American husband who maintains a chorus girl in Levantine luxury
+around the corner, there are hundreds who are as true to their oaths, year
+in and year out, as so many convicts in the deathhouse.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, In Defense of Women, 1922.
+%
+I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind―that
+its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been
+more than overborne by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "Forum" (September, 1930)
+%
+I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Judge: a law student who marks his own examination papers.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955
+%
+Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
+        ― attributed to H. L. Mencken
+%
+Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry
+later. For another thing, they die earlier.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.
+%
+My guess is that well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through
+life without ever having a single original thought. That is to say, they
+never think anything that has not been thought before, and by thousands. A
+society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought
+would probably be unendurable. The pressure of ideas would simply drive it
+frantic.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
+%
+Never let your inferiors do you a favor. It will be extremely costly.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
+%
+No government is ever really in favor of so-called civil rights. It always
+tries to whittle them down. They are preserved under all governments,
+insofar as they survive at all, by special classes of fanatics, often
+highly dubious.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
+%
+No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
+        ― Attributed to H.L. Mencken.
+%
+Nowhere in the world is superiority more easily attained, or more eagerly
+admitted. The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up
+of heroes, mainly bogus.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1923.
+%
+Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
+roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
+forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
+the railroad yards.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan,
+           counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution
+           law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.
+%
+Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to
+the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the
+congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives
+were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we
+lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "Prejudices, Fourth Series" (1924)
+%
+The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater
+than that of any other animal.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof
+that God is a bore.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, "The Aesthetic Recoil," American Mercury, July, 1931.
+%
+The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even
+ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man―that is, virtuous in the YMCA
+sense―has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony
+worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that
+the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.
+%
+The highfalutin aims of democracy, whether real or imaginary, are always
+assumed to be identical with its achievements. This, of course, is sheer
+hallucination. Not one of those aims, not even the aim of giving every
+adult a vote, has been realized. It has no more made men wise and free than
+Christianity has made them good.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
+%
+The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not
+true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.
+%
+The notion that science does not concern itself with first causes―that
+it leaves the field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to mere
+effects―this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could,
+science would explain the origin of life on earth at once ― and there is
+every reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow.
+To argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be
+filled, not by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply
+to give ignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity....
+        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930
+%
+The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear―fear of the unknown,
+the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants beyond everything else is safety.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1920.
+%
+The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only
+opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts
+at rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of
+knowledge a serpent ― slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest
+days the church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every
+effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and
+everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad
+laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an
+apologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence
+clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of
+hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
+however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
+Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be
+discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on
+his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even
+highly probable.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930
+%
+To sum up: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions
+a minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the
+theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, Coda from "Smart Set", 1920
+%
+When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of
+sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that
+they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save
+the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and
+whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted,
+the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on
+the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can
+most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The
+Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected,
+the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We
+move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of
+the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be
+adorned by a downright moron.
+        ― H. L. Mencken
+%
+When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
+%
+When A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a
+scoundrel.
+        ― H. L. Mencken, "Newspaper Days: 1899-1906" (1941)
+%
+Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that
+he expects to be paid for it.
+        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
+%
+From Fronto I learned to observe what envy, and duplicity, and hypocrisy are
+in a tyrant, and that generally those among us who are called Patricians are
+rather deficient in paternal affection.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book I
+%
+The time of a man's life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the
+sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
+%
+That [life] which is longest of duration, and that which is shortest, both
+come to one effect.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
+%
+You must, therefore, hasten, not only because you are every day nearer to
+death, but also because your intellect, which enables you to know the true
+nature of things and to order all your actions by that knowledge, wastes and
+decays daily―or, may fail you before you die.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
+%
+Never esteem of anything as profitable, which shell ever constrain thee to
+break thy faith, or to lose thy modestroy; to hate any man, to suspect to
+curse, to dissemble, to lust after anything, that requireth the secret of
+walls or veils.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III
+%
+He who prefers, before all things, his rational part and spirit... he shall
+never lament and exclaim; never sigh; he shall never want either solitude
+or company; and, which is chiefest of all, he shall live without either
+desire or fear.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III
+%
+Let no act be done without a purpose, nor otherwise than according to the
+perfect principles of art.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Take away your opinion, and you then take away the complaint, "I have been
+harmed." Take away the complaint, "I have been harmed," and the harm is taken
+away.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Many grains of frankincense on the same altar: one falls before, another falls
+after; but it makes no difference.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over
+you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbour says or
+does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Everything which is in any way beautiful is beautiful in itself, and
+terminates in itself, not having praise as part of itself. Neither worse,
+then, nor better is a thing made by being praised.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+The words which were formerly familiar are now antiquated: so also the names
+of those who were famed of old, are now in a manner antiquated... For all
+things soon pass away and become a mere tale, and complete oblivion soon
+buries them.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Everything is only for a day, both that which remembers and that which is
+remembered.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Thou art a little soul bearing about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say. 
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream;
+for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in
+its place, and this will be carried away too.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it
+stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
+%
+How easy it is to repel and to wipe away every impression which is troublesome
+or unsuitable, and immediately to be in all tranquility.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V
+%
+To seek what is impossible is madness: and it is impossible that the bad
+should not do something of this kind.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V
+%
+The best way of avenging yourself is not to become like the wrong-doer.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI
+%
+If any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act
+right, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth by which no man was ever
+injured. But he is injured who abides in his error and ignorance.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI
+%
+Let not future things disturb you, for you will come to them, if it shall be
+necessary, having with you the same reason which you now use for present
+things.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VII
+%
+Receive wealth or prosperity without arrogance; and be ready to let it go.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VIII
+%
+He often acts unjustly who does not do a certain thing; not only he who does a
+certain thing.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX
+%
+It is your duty to leave another man's wrongful act there, where it is.
+        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX
+%
+America is a ball of Appalachia with a thin coating of civility.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+American justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk
+to make your point.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+America has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley
+blowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+But in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and
+pretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+I am waiting for the "Internet Beermeister," so hackers can wage a
+"Denial of Cerveza" attack.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Money doesn't stretch―if somebody makes a killing, somebody else loses
+his shirt.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Never work anywhere where you can't find the guy in charge and break his nose.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Nothing is more dangerous than a man whose actions are the responsibility
+of his deity.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Some people hold their noses when used as toilet paper by the shadowy
+overlords; some people inhale the heady aroma with gusto.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Those who sacrifice liberty for the sake of safety deserve neither, but those
+who sacrifice creativity for safety end up with a velvet painting of Elvis.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Windows is a manifestation of commerce; Unix is a manifestation of culture.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Working in Windows is like baking moose shit pie. Sure, you're baking pies, but
+look what's in 'em.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+I prefer the company of men without ovaries.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+The American business executive resembles the Ferengi more each day. In another
+20 years, there will be dorm rooms full of toothless hillbillies at the Amazon
+fulfillment centers and the Walmarts.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Be cautious of those who give you advice. That's my advice to you.
+        ― Steve Mayr
+%
+If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Sounds like a plan.
+        ― Steve Mayr
+%
+If you take the easy way out, nothing will come easy.
+        ― Steve Mayr
+%
+By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child
+whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor
+scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently,
+by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who
+believe it.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that
+these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them
+together is certain death.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and
+cross it deliberately.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say
+the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would've made our arms shorter.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you
+Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to
+"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were
+praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone
+said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire,
+but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
+        ― George Carlin
+%
+American justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk
+to make your point.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+America has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley
+blowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+But in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and
+pretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.
+        ― Rich Simons
+%
+Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned ― I
+support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you
+exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to
+share your dogma, rapture or necrodestination.
+        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
+%
+Don't eat yellow snow.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Hey, you know something, people? I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of
+times I wish I could say I'm not white.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else
+that has ever happened, and vice versa.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your
+mother, your Dad, your priest, to some guy on television, to any of the
+people telling you how to do your shit, then you *deserve* it. If you
+want to be a schmuck, be a schmuck ― but don't wait around for respect
+from other people ― a schmuck is a schmuck.
+        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
+%
+In the future, etiquette will become more and more important. That doesn't
+mean knowing which fork to pick up ― I mean basic consideration for the
+rights of other animals (human beings included) and the willingness,
+whenever practical, to tolerate the other guy's idiosyncrasies.
+        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
+%
+Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho?
+Hmmm... No fooling.
+        ― Frank Zappa, "Camarillo Brillo"
+%
+Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't
+talk for the people who can't read.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child
+is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom;
+Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love;
+Love is not music; Music is the best.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to
+the Bible? Who wins?
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma,
+like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave
+baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a
+person could get excited about playing the bassoon.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+The Book says BURN and DESTROY repent and redeem and revenge and deploy and
+rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum 'cause they don't go
+for what's in the Book and that makes 'em BAD.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact
+mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history.
+The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is,
+"All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was
+going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your
+fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer
+shelf life.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful,
+that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
+        ― Frank Zappa
+%
+Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.
+        ― Randall Munroe, xkcd
+%
+There's no such thing as bad language. I don't believe that any more. That's
+ridiculous. They call it a "debasing of the language?" No! We are adults.
+These are the words that WE use, to express frustration, rage, anger―in
+order that we don't pick up a tire iron and beat the shit out of someone.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit
+looking in the mirror at itself.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+There is a big difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament,
+and that is, the New Testament God is kind of a great guy (He is!), especially
+when you compare him to the Old Testament God, who is a prick.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+The reason you should go to Las Vegas is because, for only the second time,
+the second time, ever, they have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah. It's back!!
+And you have the opportunity to see it before it turns to salt. And you
+wanna get out there before the Christian Right finds out what we're up to
+and shits all over it.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll
+repeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in America. They were
+worried about the terrorists immobilizing us, and a portion of our
+countrymen watch weather. 'Kay, you don't get any more immobile than
+that... unless you're in a goddamn coma. That means you're saying, "I'd go
+to the window, but it's too far." If you want to know what the weather is
+you go to a window and stick your hand out and if you want to know what the
+temperature is you drive by a bank.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell
+soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice,
+you actually... start to gag.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+You don't want another Enron? Here's the law: If you have a company, and it
+can't explain, in one sentence... what it does... it's illegal!
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the
+Republicans are completely worthless.
+        ― Lewis Black
+%
+If mzero doesn't need to be a single, unambiguous value, then the algebra
+of monads would seem to be a bit hinky.
+        ― A tweet from @djspiewak (Daniel J. Spiewak)
+%
+A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?
+        ― Saunders Mac Lane, filtered through James Iry
+%
+Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
+        ― Confucius
+%
+Rotten wood cannot be carved.
+        ― Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Chapter 9)
+%
+Men's natures are alike. It is their habits that carry them far apart.
+        ― Confucius
+%
+Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
+        ― Confucius
+%
+It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
+        ― Confucius
+%
+We like to think we spend most of our time power-typing. "I'm being productive,
+I'm writing programs!" But, we don't. We spend most of our time looking into
+the abyss, saying, "My God, what have I done?"
+        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
+%
+"That hardly ever happens" is another way of saying, "It happens".
+        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
+%
+I used to think everyone should learn programming. When I first starting
+programming...I thought, "Wow, this is such an amazing way to organize
+information! Everybody should learn to do this!" I don't think that any more. I
+think there has to be something seriously wrong with you, in order to do this
+work. A normal person, once they've looked into the abyss, will say, "I'm done.
+This is stupid. I'm going to go to something else." But not us, 'cause there's
+something really wrong with us.
+        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
+%
+Confusion must be avoided. Confusion is the enemy. Confusion is what causes
+bugs and security mishaps and all the other things that make us miserable.
+        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
+%
+Write [code] in a way that clearly communicates your intent.
+        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
+%
+Geriatric Relativity: The observation that time goes faster the older you get.
+        ― Brian M. Clapper
+%
+Critical thinking is the antidote to gullibility and credulity, which explains
+why politicians aren't fond of critical thinking.
+        ― Brian M. Clapper
+%
+There's a certain freedom in being so tired that you just can't possibly do
+another thing.
+        ― Brian M. Clapper
+%
+The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to
+be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his
+hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the
+addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.
+        ― Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation
+%
+Man is manifestly not the measure of all things. This universe is shot through
+with mystery. The very fact of its being, and of our own, is a mystery
+absolute, and the only miracle worthy of the name.
+        ― Sam Harris, "The End of Faith"
+%
+What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which
+she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence
+and ignorance . . . Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in
+American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary
+talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our
+planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to
+represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive
+years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to
+vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun
+any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose
+thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want
+someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in
+fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or
+well educated.
+        ― Sam Harris
+%
+Unreason is now ascendant in the United States—in our schools, in our courts,
+and in each branch of the federal government.
+        ― Sam Harris, "The Politics of Ignorance" (2005)
+%
+The point at which we fully acquire our humanity, and our capacity to suffer,
+remains an open question, but anyone who would dogmatically insist that these
+traits must arise coincident with the moment of conception has nothing to
+contribute, apart from his ignorance, to this debate.
+        ― Sam Harris
+%
+Water is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. This seems as value-free an
+utterance as human beings ever make. But what do we do when someone doubts the
+truth of this proposition? Ok, all we can do is appeal to scientific values.
+The value of understanding the world. The value of evidence. The value of
+logical consistency. What if someone says, “Well, that’s not how I choose to
+think about water. Ok, what can we say to such a person? Ok, all we can do is
+appeal to scientific values. And if he doesn’t share those values, the
+conversation is over. Ok, if someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are
+you going to provide to prove that they should value it? If someone doesn’t
+value logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of
+logic?
+        ― Sam Harris, during a Notre Dame debate with William Lane Craig
+%
+I love living in the future. ― Bill Cheswick
+%
+Sendmail(8) proved that if you polish a turd long enough, you may eventually
+end up with a shiny coprolite.
+        ― Bill Cheswick
+%
+Salad is what food eats. ― Bill Cheswick
+%
+Angels we have heard on High/Tell us to go out and Buy.
+        ― Tom Lehrer
+%
+The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
+Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
+and color, but also on ability.
+        ― Tom Lehrer
+%
+If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something
+nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been
+worth the while.
+        ― Tom Lehrer
+%
+I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out
+what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise
+George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them.
+        ― Tom Lehrer (2003)
+%
+I basically like "comments," though they can seem a little jarring: spit-
+flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure
+of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it
+comes with a side of maggots.
+        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist
+%
+I disagree with those who suggest that we permanently close down the U.S. mail
+on the grounds that it can kill you. That is sheer hysteria. I think we should
+permanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that it has been making us
+sick for quite a while.
+        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist
+%
+Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
+account be allowed to do the job.
+        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B
+very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People
+living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder
+what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to
+get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A
+are so keen to get THERE. They often wish that people would just once and for
+all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
+        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western
+Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a
+distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant
+little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly
+primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...
+        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha
+Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were
+brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the
+Empire forged.
+        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Douglas Adams
+%
+Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big
+it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's,
+but that's just peanuts to space.
+        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis". This is true in almost
+fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people have attempted to
+explain why. Usually these explanations get bogged down in silly puns about
+"standing erect".
+        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the
+Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced
+by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which
+states that this has already happened.
+        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
+        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
+%
+Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. 
+        ― Madeleine L'Engle
+%
+That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how
+obvious they've been all along. 
+        ― Madeleine L'Engle
+%
+When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no
+longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive
+is to be vulnerable.
+        ― Madeleine L'Engle
+%
+Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth,
+you are.
+        ― Madeleine L'Engle
+%
+A good photograph is knowing where to stand.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+Dodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in
+establishing tonal relationships.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of
+exploration.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+These people live again in print as intensely as when their images were
+captured on old dry plates of sixty years ago... I am walking in their alleys,
+standing in their rooms and sheds and workshops, looking in and out of their
+windows. Any they in turn seem to be aware of me.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+When I'm ready to make a photograph, I think I quite obviously see in my minds
+eye something that is not literally there in the true meaning of the word. I'm
+interested in something which is built up from within, rather than just
+extracted from without.
+        ― Ansel Adams
+%
+When in doubt, tell the truth.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
+and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
+wants to read.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he
+was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
+nothing. It was here first.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
+week sometimes to make it up.
+        ― Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
+%
+I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I
+didn't know.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
+you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits:
+freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Man is the only animal that blushes ― or needs to.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+It could probably be shown, by facts and figures, that there is no distinctly
+native criminal class except Congress.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale
+returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell
+better than they pronounce.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not;
+but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any
+but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we
+all have to do it.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you
+are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of the Atlantic
+with his verb in his mouth.
+        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
+%
+Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
+to reform.
+        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
+%
+Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is
+because we are not the person involved.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common
+humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any
+other way you can manage it.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+I can live for two months on a good compliment.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes
+there ten years later.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is
+hollering about.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I 
+repeat myself.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and
+people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no
+trouble.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly
+native American criminal class except Congress.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that
+it ain't so.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+We have the best government that money can buy.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart
+no man much respects himself.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands
+explained.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and
+reflect.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived
+to have any relation.
+        ― Mark Twain
+%
+[Silvio Berlusconi] is so thoroughly corrupt, every time he smiles, an
+angel gets gonorrhea.
+        ― Dylan Moran
+%
+[Adulthood] feels like ... walking around in a desert, with a bag over
+your head, bumping into people who rob you as they bore you.
+        ― Dylan Moran
+%
+Tequila isn't even a drink. It's just a way of getting the police round,
+without using the phone.
+        ― Dylan Moran
+%
+I basically think I'm what would've happened if James Dean had lived,
+and discovered carbohydrates and orthopedic shoes.
+        ― Dylan Moran
+%
+When did ignorance become a point of view?
+        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)
+%
+There's no kill switch on awesome.
+        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)
+%
+You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You
+don't wanna know about it, believe me.
+        ― Walter to The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
+%
+Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
+        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
+%
+"The Dude abides." I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good
+knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I
+sure hope he makes the finals.
+        ― The Stranger ("The Big Lebowski")
+%
+We’ve bought into the idea that education is about training and
+"success", defined monetarily, rather than learning to think critically
+and to challenge. We should not forget that the true purpose of education
+is to make minds, not careers. A culture that does not grasp the vital
+interplay between morality and power, which mistakes management techniques
+for wisdom, which fails to understand that the measure of a civilization
+is its compassion, not its speed or ability to consume, condemns itself
+to death.
+        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
+          Triumph of Spectacle"
+%
+Inverted totalitarianism, unlike classical totalitarianism, does not
+revolve around a demagogue or charismatic leader. It finds expression in
+the anonymity of the Corporate State. It purports to cherish democracy,
+patriotism, and the Constitution while manipulating internal levers.
+        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
+          Triumph of Spectacle"
+%
+Washington has become our Versailles. We are ruled, entertained,
+and informed by courtiers―and the media has evolved into a class of
+courtiers. The Democrats, like the Republicans, are mostly courtiers. Our
+pundits and experts, at least those with prominent public platforms,
+are courtiers. We are captivated by the hollow stagecraft of political
+theater as we are ruthlessly stripped of power. It is smoke and mirrors,
+tricks and con games, and the purpose behind it is deception.
+        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
+          Triumph of Spectacle"
+%
+The split in America, rather than simply economic, is between those who
+embrace reason, who function in the real world of cause and effect, and those
+who, numbed by isolation and despair, now seek meaning in a mythical world
+of intuition, a world that is no longer reality-based, a world of magic.
+        ― Chris Hedges, American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War
+          On America 
+%
+Hope has a cost. Hope is not comfortable or easy. Hope requires personal
+risk. It is not about the right attitude. Hope is not about peace of
+mind. Hope is action. Hope is doing something. The more futile, the more
+useless, the more irrelevant and incomprehensible an act of rebellion is,
+the vaster and more potent hope becomes.  Hope never makes sense. Hope is
+weak, unorganized and absurd. Hope, which is always nonviolent, exposes in
+its powerlessness, the lies, fraud and coercion employed by the state. Hope
+knows that an injustice visited on our neighbor is an injustice visited on
+all of us. Hope posits that people are drawn to the good by the good. This
+is the secret of hope's power. Hope demands for others what we demand for
+ourselves. Hope does not separate us from them. Hope sees in our enemy
+our own face.
+        ― Chris Hedges
+%
+Racism towards Muslims is as evil as anti-Semitism, but try to express
+this simple truth on a partisan Palestinian or Israeli website.
+        ― Chris Hedges, Death of the Liberal Class 
+%
+A society without the means to detect lies and theft soon squanders its
+liberty and freedom.
+        ― Chris Hedges
+%
+Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the
+one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
+        ― xkcd #1081 (mouseover text)
+%
+A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.
+(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations
+and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot
+actually masturbate.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+Styling mousse, which is gunk that looks like shaving cream ... was invented
+by a French hair professional whom, if you met him, you would want to punch
+directly in the mouth.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the
+sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight
+that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
+        ― Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
+%
+There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
+Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large
+elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
+recollection of what to do with them.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical
+need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as
+some kind of recreational activity.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants,
+today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
+you to share yours with them.
+        ― Dave Barry
+%
+It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Imagination is more important than knowledge.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+If A equals success, then the formula is:
+   A= X + Y + Z
+X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The
+latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to
+hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+The tyranny of the ignoramuses is insurmountable and assured for all time.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we
+created them.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else, unless it is an
+enemy.
+        ― A. Einstein
+%
+My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
+spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
+with our frail and feeble mind.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
+        ― Albert Einstein, as quoted by Virgil Henshaw in
+           "Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist" (1949)
+%
+The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it
+seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the
+fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving
+after rational knowledge.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason
+for existing.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+The only real valuable thing is intuition.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+God may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates
+empirically.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Dear Posterity, If you have not become more just, more peaceful, and generally
+more rational than we are (or were) ― why then, the Devil take you.
+        ― Albert Einstein, message for a time capsule
+%
+Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
+certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+An autocratic system of coercion, in my opinion, soon degenerates. For
+force always attracts men of low morality, and I believe it to be an
+invariable rule that tyrants of genius are succeeded by scoundrels.
+        ― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1931)
+%
+"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but
+World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity
+for development accorded the individual. 
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a
+touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue. 
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all
+technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and
+equations.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine
+are still greater.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in
+school.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that
+counts cannot necessarily be counted.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
+minds.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my
+contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the
+spinal cord would suffice.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the
+years of maturity.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
+        ― Albert Einstein
+%
+People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his
+ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and
+the building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over
+for speeding. He asked me where I live. I said, "Here."
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house
+and 4 people died.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of
+the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip
+over? Well, that's how I feel all the time.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+I'm making wine at home, but I make it out of raisins, so it'll be aged
+automatically.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see 'em at the beach. Pisses me off.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean
+would be, if that didn't happen.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+I remember the day the candle shop burned down. Everyone just stood around
+and sang, "Happy birthday."
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Once I stayed in a hotel where the pool was on the 23rd floor. I couldn't
+believe how deep it was.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like
+an idiot.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+What's another word for, "thesaurus?"
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Whenever I think about the past, it's just bring back so many memories.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Once I was walking through the woods, and I saw a rabbit standing in front
+of a candle, making shadows of people on a tree. I said, "Don't be so
+sarcastic."
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future, but just way off to
+the side.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+It's hard for me to buy clothes, 'cause I'm not my size.
+        ― Steven Wright
+%
+Small keyboards make for big mistakes. 
+        ― Joe Gunn
+%
+The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is
+just the ash.
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as a secrets to reveal. A
+scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.
+        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game
+%
+I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who
+is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+The older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show.
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+Deprivation is the mother of poetry.
+        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game 
+%
+We are so lightly here. It is in love that we are made. In love we disappear.
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
+        ― Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems, 1956-1968
+%
+This is a broken world, and we live with broken hearts and broken lives,
+but still that is no alibi for anything. On the contrary, you have to stand
+up and say, "Hallelujah," under those circumstances.
+        ― Leonard Cohen
+%
+A human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust
+billions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking
+email a lot.
+	— Randall Munroe (xkcd #1173)
+%
+Among the many invectives I invent when people piss me off, this is my
+current favorite: 'Fuck yer own throat, you piss-dribbling monkey dick!'
+I'm hoping it catches on with you folks.
+	— Jon Miller, a.k.a., Doc Spender
+%
+"Well, vegans, as you know, don't have eggs, meat, dairy, or senses of humor."
+	— Peter Sagal, on NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" (21 Sep, 2013)
+%
+An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of pure.
+        ― Dr. Mark Crislip
+%
+Holy water is often contaminated with bacteria and, as a result, I
+hypothesize that Pasteur went to Hell, since, if he'd gone to heaven, all
+the water would be clean."
+	—Dr. Mark Crislip
+%
+It is ignoring the nuances of a complicated topic to grind your axe that
+annoys me.
+	—Dr. Mark Crislip
+%
+Anybody who thinks that homeopathy is appropriate therapy for anything but
+thirst is ... unfit to care for patients.
+	—Dr. Mark Crislip
+%
+That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in
+it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second
+greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The
+Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now,
+while they’re happy.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she
+went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with
+great force.
+        ― Dorothy Parker, on Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"
+%
+It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I
+wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
+        ― Dorothy Parker
+%
+Sometimes, a grand adventure begins when you lick the evil. —Joe Pizzirusso
+%
+Angels are very good at math. That's why they call them arc-angels.
+        ― Steven Novella (The Skeptics Guide to the Universe)
+%
+"Girls are complicated. The instruction manual that comes with girls is 800
+pages, with chapters 14, 19, 26 and 32 missing, and it's badly translated,
+hard to figure out."
+	— Huge Laurie, on raising a girl
+%
+There is no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would
+just be the word "NO" scrawled over and over in charred blood.
+	— Randall Munroe, "What If?"
+%
+Telling a child that everyone dies is the hardest thing about being a party
+clown.
+	— James Ferace
+%
+Last night, I told my kid that the night light only makes it easier for
+the monsters to find her.
+	— James Ferace

From 4b7a8c913e87d7f12f700c51d5357e487ff5c9c7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 2021 22:34:25 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 39/79] Add ImageToAsciiService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java |  59 +++++++
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java | 148 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 207 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..69c3ed6a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.ASCII;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.imageio.ImageIO;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.awt.*;
+import java.awt.image.BufferedImage;
+import java.net.URL;
+
+/**
+ * Created by eunderhi on 17/08/15.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ImageToAsciiService
+{
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!convert @url")
+    public String convert(String url) {
+        try
+        {
+            return convertImage( url );
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            return "Could not convert image.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String convertImage( String strURL )
+        throws Exception
+    {
+        URL url = urlFactory.build( strURL );
+        BufferedImage image = ImageIO.read( url );
+        image = shrink( image );
+        return ASCII.convert( image );
+    }
+
+    private BufferedImage shrink( BufferedImage image )
+    {
+        int MAX_WIDTH = 50;
+        int height = image.getHeight();
+        int width = image.getWidth();
+        float ratio = (float) height / width;
+        int newHeight = Math.round( ( MAX_WIDTH * ratio ) * 0.56f );
+
+        BufferedImage newImage = new BufferedImage( MAX_WIDTH, newHeight, BufferedImage.TYPE_INT_RGB );
+
+        Graphics g = newImage.createGraphics();
+        g.drawImage( image, 0, 0, MAX_WIDTH, newHeight, null );
+        g.dispose();
+        return newImage;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ee747978
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
@@ -0,0 +1,148 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.awt.*;
+import java.awt.image.BufferedImage;
+
+/*Copyright (c) 2011 Aravind Rao
+
+Modifications by Sam Barnum, 360Works 2012
+
+Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation
+ * files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights to
+ * use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell copies of the Software, and to permit persons
+ * to whom the Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
+
+The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software.
+
+THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+ * THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
+ * AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT,
+ * TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.
+*/
+
+public final class ASCII
+{
+    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image ) {
+        return convert(image, false);
+    }
+
+    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image, boolean negative )
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder( ( image.getWidth() + 1 ) * image.getHeight() );
+        for ( int y = 0; y < image.getHeight(); y++ )
+        {
+            if ( sb.length() != 0 )
+                sb.append( "\n" );
+            for ( int x = 0; x < image.getWidth(); x++ )
+            {
+                Color pixelColor = new Color( image.getRGB( x, y ) );
+                double gValue = (double) pixelColor.getRed() * 0.2989 + (double) pixelColor.getBlue() * 0.5870
+                    + (double) pixelColor.getGreen() * 0.1140;
+                final char s = negative ? returnStrNeg( gValue ) : returnStrPos( gValue );
+                sb.append( s );
+            }
+        }
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Create a new string and assign to it a string based on the grayscale value. If the grayscale value is very high,
+     * the pixel is very bright and assign characters such as . and , that do not appear very dark. If the grayscale
+     * value is very lowm the pixel is very dark, assign characters such as # and @ which appear very dark.
+     *
+     * @param g grayscale
+     * @return char
+     */
+    private static char returnStrPos( double g )// takes the grayscale value as parameter
+    {
+        final char str;
+
+        if ( g >= 230.0 )
+        {
+            str = ' ';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 200.0 )
+        {
+            str = '.';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 180.0 )
+        {
+            str = '*';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 160.0 )
+        {
+            str = ':';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 130.0 )
+        {
+            str = 'o';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 100.0 )
+        {
+            str = '&';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 70.0 )
+        {
+            str = '8';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 50.0 )
+        {
+            str = '#';
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            str = '@';
+        }
+        return str; // return the character
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Same method as above, except it reverses the darkness of the pixel. A dark pixel is given a light character and
+     * vice versa.
+     *
+     * @param g grayscale
+     * @return char
+     */
+    private static char returnStrNeg( double g )
+    {
+        final char str;
+
+        if ( g >= 230.0 )
+        {
+            str = '@';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 200.0 )
+        {
+            str = '#';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 180.0 )
+        {
+            str = '8';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 160.0 )
+        {
+            str = '&';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 130.0 )
+        {
+            str = 'o';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 100.0 )
+        {
+            str = ':';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 70.0 )
+        {
+            str = '*';
+        }
+        else if ( g >= 50.0 )
+        {
+            str = '.';
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            str = ' ';
+        }
+        return str;
+    }
+}

From b3ca96f46096a40a42c8cd8f7ae68e969eb4bd58 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 16:37:00 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 40/79] Add GetInfoOnService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java    | 97 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 97 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..983713a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,97 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
+import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
+import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.net.URLConnection;
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.util.Scanner;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class GetInfoOnService {
+
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @OnMessage("!infoon @query")
+    public String getInfoOn(String query) {
+        String queryModifier = " site:wikipedia.org";
+        return getWiki( query, queryModifier );
+    }
+
+    private String getWiki( String query, String queryModifier )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            String wikiURL = getWikiURLFromGoogle( query + queryModifier );
+            String wikipediaContent = getContent( wikiURL );
+            return parseResponse( wikipediaContent );
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            return "Look, I don't know.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getWikiURLFromGoogle( String query )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        String googleURL = makeGoogleURL( query );
+        String googleResponse = getContent( googleURL );
+        return getWikiLink( googleResponse );
+    }
+
+    private String makeGoogleURL( String query )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        query = encode( query );
+        return "https://www.google.com/search?q=" + query;
+    }
+
+    private String getWikiLink( String googleHTML )
+    {
+        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( googleHTML );
+        Element link = doc.select( "a[href*=/url?q=https://en.wikipedia]" ).first();
+        return link.attr( "href" ).replace( "/url?q=", "" ).split( "&" )[0];
+    }
+
+    private String getContent( String url )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        String content;
+        URLConnection connection;
+        connection = urlFactory.build(url).openConnection();
+        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
+        Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
+        scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
+        content = scanner.next();
+        return content;
+    }
+
+    private String parseResponse( String response )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( response );
+        Element bodyDiv = doc.getElementById( "mw-content-text" );
+        Element firstParagraph = bodyDiv.getElementsByTag( "p" ).first();
+        String answer = firstParagraph.text();
+        if ( answer.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            throw new Exception();
+        }
+        answer = answer.replaceAll( "\\[[0-9]+\\]", "" );
+        return answer;
+    }
+
+    private String encode( String string )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        return URLEncoder.encode( string, StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
+    }
+}

From 9be75c08feecfcbf2c4bad9c33ebe5b33ea1fc3c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 16:41:58 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 41/79] Add FortuneService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneService.java      |  52 ++
 .../src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt        | 839 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 891 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ca3a8955
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.BufferedReader;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.io.InputStreamReader;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+/**
+ * Created by ipun on 15/05/16.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class FortuneService
+{
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    List<String> fortunes = loadFortunes();
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!fortune")
+    public String onFortune()
+    {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(fortunes);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!fortunedirty")
+    public String onDirtyFortune()
+    {
+        return "oooo you dirty";
+    }
+
+    private List<String> loadFortunes()
+    {
+        try (InputStream fortuneListResource = FortuneService.class.getResourceAsStream("/fortunelist.txt")) {
+            if (fortuneListResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("Unable to find fortunelist.txt");
+            }
+            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(fortuneListResource))
+                    .lines()
+                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open fortunelist.txt");
+        }
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..29751c8f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,839 @@
+Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for
+A friend asks only for your time not your money
+If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it
+A smile is your passport into the hearts of others
+A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food
+Your high-minded principles spell success
+Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now
+Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better
+Enjoy the good luck a companion brings you
+People are naturally attracted to you
+Hidden in a valley beside an open stream- This will be the type of place where you will find your dream
+A chance meeting opens new doors to success and friendship
+You learn from your mistakes
+What ever you're goal is in life, embrace it visualize it, and for it will be yours
+Your shoes will make you happy today
+You cannot love life until you live the life you love
+Be on the lookout for coming events; They cast their shadows beforehand
+Land is always on the mind of a flying bird
+The man or woman you desire feels the same about you
+Meeting adversity well is the source of your strength
+A dream you have will come true
+Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds
+Never give up
+You will become great if you believe in yourself
+There is no greater pleasure than seeing your loved ones prosper
+You will marry your lover
+A very attractive person has a message for you
+You already know the answer to the questions lingering inside your head
+It is now, and in this world, that we must live
+You must try, or hate yourself for not trying
+You can make your own happiness
+The greatest risk is not taking one
+The love of your life is stepping into your planet this summer
+Love can last a lifetime, if you want it to
+Adversity is the parent of virtue
+Serious trouble will bypass you
+A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessings to share
+Now is the time to try something new
+Wealth awaits you very soon
+If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions
+Keep your eye out for someone special
+You are very talented in many ways
+A stranger, is a friend you have not spoken to yet
+A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories
+You will travel to many exotic places in your lifetime
+Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success
+Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing
+Its amazing how much good you can do if you dont care who gets the credit
+Everyone agrees
+LIFE CONSIST NOT IN HOLDING GOOD CARDS, BUT IN PLAYING THOSE YOU HOLD WELL
+It's better to be alone sometimes
+Let the deeds speak
+You will be called in to fulfill a position of high honor and responsibility
+The man on the top of the mountain did not fall there
+You will conquer obstacles to achieve success
+Joys are often the shadows, cast by sorrows
+Fortune favors the brave
+An upward movement initiated in time can counteract fate
+A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
+Sometimes you just need to lay on the floor
+Never give up
+If you have something worth fighting for, then fight for it
+Stop wishing
+Accept your past without regrets
+Stay true to those who would do the same for you
+Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow
+Happiness is an activity
+Help is always needed but not always appreciated
+Hone your competitive instincts
+Finish your work on hand don't be greedy
+For success today, look first to yourself
+Your fortune is as sweet as a cookie
+Integrity is the essence of everything successful
+If you're happy, you're successful
+Believing that you are beautiful will make you appear beautiful to others around you
+Happinees comes from a good life
+Before trying to please others think of what makes you happy
+When hungry, order more Chinese food
+Your golden opportunity is coming shortly
+For hate is never conquered by hate
+You will make many changes before settling down happily
+A man is born to live and not prepare to live
+You cannot become rich except by enriching others
+Don't pursue happiness - create it
+You will be successful in love
+All your fingers can't be of the same length
+Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away
+A lifetime of happiness is in store for you
+It is very possible that you will achieve greatness in your lifetime
+Be tactful; overlook your own opportunity
+You are the controller of your destiny
+Everything happens for a reson
+How can you have a beutiful ending without making beautiful mistakes
+You can open doors with your charm and patience
+Welcome the change coming into your life
+There will be a happy romance for you shortly
+Your fondest dream will come true within this year
+You have a deep interest in all that is artistic
+Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive
+A letter of great importance may reach you any day now
+Good health will be yours for a long time
+You will become better acquainted with a coworker
+To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid
+Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently
+Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching
+Conquer your fears or they will conquer you
+You are a lover of words; One day you will write a book
+In this life it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich
+Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow
+Seek out the significance of your problem at this time
+Never upset the driver of the car you're in; they're the master of your destiny until you get home
+He who slithers among the ground is not always a foe
+You learn from your mistakes, you will learn a lot today
+You only need look to your own reflection for inspiration
+You are not judged by your efforts you put in; you are judged on your performance
+Rivers need springs
+Good news from afar may bring you a welcome visitor
+When all else seems to fail, smile for today and just love someone
+Patience is a virtue, unless its against a brick wall
+When you look down, all you see is dirt, so keep looking up
+If you are afraid to shake the dice, you will never throw a six
+Even if the person who appears most wrong, is also quite often right
+A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study
+Happiness is often a rebound from hard work
+The world may be your oyster, but that doesn't mean you'll get it's pearl
+Your life will be filled with magical moments
+You're true love will show himself to you under the moonlight
+Do not follow where the path may lead
+The object of your desire comes closer
+You have a flair for adding a fanciful dimension to any story
+The most useless energy is trying to change what and who God so carefully created
+You will have unexpected great good luck
+All progress occurs because people dare to be different
+Your ability for accomplishment will be followed by success
+The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms
+Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle
+We can't help everyone
+Every day is a new day
+It is not necessary to show others you have change; the change will be obvious
+You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music
+If your desires are not extravagant, they will be rewarded
+You try hard, never to fail
+Never give up on someone that you don't go a day without thinking about
+It never pays to kick a skunk
+In case of fire, keep calm, pay bill and run
+Next full moon brings an enchanting evening
+Not all closed eye is sleeping nor open eye is seeing
+Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools
+You will soon witness a miracle
+The time is alway right to do what is right
+Love is as necessary to human beings as food and shelter
+You will make heads turn
+You are extremely loved
+If you are never patient, you will never get anything done
+You will soon embark on a business venture
+You believe in the goodness of man kind
+You will have a long and wealthy life
+You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away
+You are a person of culture
+Keep it simple
+Life is like a dogsled team
+Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them
+Nothing seems impossible to you
+Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet
+The only certainty is that nothing is certain
+Success is the sum of my unique visions realized by the sweat of perseverance
+When you expect your opponent to yield, you also should avoid hurting him
+Human evolution: &ldquo;wider freeway" but narrower viewpoints
+Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence
+Back away from individuals who are impulsive
+Enjoyed the meal? Buy one to go too
+You believe in the goodness of mankind
+A big fortune will descend upon you this year
+Now these three remain, faith, hope, and love
+For success today look first to yourself
+Determination is the wake-up call to the human will
+There are no limitations to the mind except those we aknowledge
+A merry heart does good like a medicine
+Whenever possible, keep it simple
+Your dearest wish will come true
+Poverty is no disgrace
+If you don&rsquo;t do it excellently, don&rsquo;t do it at all
+You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly
+Emotion is energy in motion
+You will soon be honored by someone you respect
+Punctuality is the politeness of kings and the duty of gentle people everywhere
+Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life
+Elegant surroundings will soon be yours
+If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions
+Your smile brings happiness to everyone you meet
+Instead of worrying and agonizing, move ahead constructively
+Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded
+A new business venture is on the horizon
+Never underestimate the power of the human touch
+Hold on to the past but eventually, let the times go and keep the memories into the present
+Truth is an unpopular subject
+The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn&rsquo;t being said
+You are broad minded and socially active
+Your dearest dream is coming true
+You will recieve some high prize or award
+Your present question marks are going to succeed
+You have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life
+You will live long and enjoy life
+An admirer is concealing his/her affection for you
+A wish is what makes life happen when you dream of rose petals
+Love can turn cottage into a golden palace
+Lend your money and lose your freind
+You will kiss your crush ohhh lalahh
+You will be rewarded for being a good listener in the next week
+If you never give up on love, It will never give up on you
+Unleash your life force
+Your wish will come true
+There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you
+No distance is too far, if two hearts are tied together
+Land is always in the mind of the flying birds
+Try? No! Do or do not, there is no try
+Do not worry, you will have great peace
+It's about time you asked that special someone on a date
+You create your own stage 
+It is never too late
+Discover the power within yourself
+Good things take time
+Stop thinking about the road not taken and pave over the one you did
+Put your unhappiness aside
+You can still love what you can not have in life
+Make a wise choice everyday
+Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself
+The man who waits till tomorrow, misses the opportunities of today
+Life does not get better by chance
+If you never expect anything you can never be disappointed
+People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual
+True wisdom is found in happiness
+Ones always regrets what could have done
+Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were once only walls
+Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future
+All the water in the world can't sink a ship unless it gets inside
+The earth is a school learn in it
+In music, one must think with his heart and feel with his brain
+If you speak honestly, everyone will listen
+Ganerosity will repay itself sooner than you imagine
+Do what is right, not what you should
+To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement
+Simplicity and clearity should be the theme in your dress
+Virtuous find joy while Wrongdoers find grieve in their actions
+Not all closed eye is sleeping, nor open eye is seeing
+Bread today is better than cake tomorrow
+In evrything there is a piece of truth
+A feeling is an idea with roots
+It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach
+Everything will be ok
+The finest men like the finest steels have been tempered in the hottest furnace
+The worst of friends may become the best of enemies, but you will always find yourself hanging on
+Let your fantasies unwind
+Don't lead if you won't lead
+Share your hapiness with others today
+It's up to you to clearify
+Your future will be happy and productive
+Seize every second of your life and savor it
+Those who walk in other's tracks leave no footprints
+Failure is the mother of all success
+Difficulty at the beginning useually means ease at the end
+Do not seek so much to find the answer as much as to understand the question better
+Your way of doing what other people do their way is what makes you special
+A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life
+Friendship is an ocean that you cannot see bottom
+Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change
+Our duty,as men and women,is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist
+A pleasant expeience is ahead:don't pass it by
+They say you are stubborn; you call it persistence
+Two small jumps are sometimes better than one big leap
+A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life
+The cure for grief is motion
+I hear and I forget
+I have a dream
+A human being is a deciding being
+Today is an ideal time to water your parsonal garden
+Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies
+Things are never quite the way they seem
+YOUR FAILURES WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS
+IN ORDER TO GET THE RAINBOW, YOU MUST ENDURE THE RAIN
+Beauty is simply beauty
+Your dream will come true when you least expect it
+Let not your hand be stretched out to receive and shut when you should repay
+Don't worry, half the people you know are below average
+Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others
+You don't need talent to gain experience
+A focused mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe
+Today you shed your last tear
+Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got build in one day
+Think you can
+Wisdom is on her way to you
+Digital circuits are made from analog parts
+If you eat a box of fortune cookies, anything is possible
+The best is yet to come
+I'm with you
+Be direct,usually one can accomplish more that way
+A single kind work will keep one warm for years
+Ask a friend to join you on your next voyage
+In God we trust
+Love is free
+Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you
+You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
+Jealousy is a useless emotion
+You are not a ghost
+There is someone rather annoying in your life that you need to listen to
+You will plant the smallest seed and it will become the greatest and most mighty tree in the world
+The dream you've been dreaming all your life isn't worth it
+See if you can learn anything from the children
+A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
+Aim high, time flies
+One is not sleeping, does not mean they are awake
+A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't
+Your father still loves and is in always with you
+Before you can be reborn you must die
+It better to be the hammer than the nail
+You are admired by everyone for your talent and ability
+Save the whales
+You will soon discover a major truth about the one you love most
+Your life will prosper only if you acknowledge your faults and work to reduce them
+Pray to God, but row towards shore
+You will soon witness a miracle
+Help, I'm being held prisoner in a  Chinese cookie factory
+Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else&rsquo;s water lily
+You are a persoon with a good sense of justice, now it's time to act like it
+You create enthusiasm around you
+There are big changes ahead for you
+You will have many happy days soon
+Out of confusion comes new patterns
+If you love someone enough and they break your heart, you can't stop yourself from still loving them again even after all that pain
+Look right
+Live like you are on the bottom, even if you are on the top
+You will soon emerge victorious from the maze you've been traveling in
+Do not judge a book by it's color
+Everything will come your way
+There is a time to be practical now
+Bend the rod while it is still hot
+Darkness is only succesful when there is no light
+Acting is not lying
+You will be forced to face fear, but if you do not run, fear will be afraid of you
+You are thinking about doing something
+Love Conquers all
+The phrase is follow your dreams
+stop nagging to your partner and take it day by day
+Do not think that me or my brothers have supreme control over what will happen to you
+Bad luck and misfortune will follow you all your days
+Remember the fate of the early Worm
+Begin your life anew with strength, grace and wonder
+Be a good friend and a fair enemy
+What goes around comes around
+Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity
+Use the force
+Trust your intuition
+Encourage your peers
+Let your imagination wander
+Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding
+Patience is key, a wait short or long will have its reward
+Tell them before it's too late
+Be assertive when decisive action is needed
+To determine whether someone is beautiful is not by looking at his/her appearance, but his/her heart
+&#20663;&#24515;&#26377;&#22810;&#23569; &#22312;&#20046;&#23601;&#26377;&#22810;&#23569;
+While you have this day, fill it with life
+Even though it will often be difficult and complicated, you know you have what it takes to get it done
+You can choose, right now and in every moment, to put your powerful and effective abilities to purposeful use
+IT IS NOT GOOD TO BE A USER BLESSINGS COME FROM BEING A GIVER NOT A TAKER
+You will prosper in the field of wacky inventions
+Your tongue is your ambassador
+The cure for grief is movement
+Love Is At Your Hands Be Glad And Hold On To It
+You are often asked if it is in yet
+Life to you is a bold and dashing responsibility
+Patience is a key to joy
+A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist
+Stay to your inner-self, you will benefit in many ways
+Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together as they do in you
+You are talented in many ways
+You are the master of every situation
+Your problem just got bigger
+If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto
+Go with the flow will make your transition ever so much easier
+A metaphor could save your life
+There are lessons to be learned by listening to others
+If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain
+Volition, Strength, Languages, Freedom and Power rests in you
+It takes more than a good memory to have good memories
+Word to the wise: Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn
+Forgive your enemies, but never forget them
+Don't worry about the stock market
+Your fortune is as sweet as a cookie
+Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you
+Get off to a new start - come out of your shell
+Cooperate with those who have both know how and integrith
+Minor aches today are likely to pay off handsomely tomorrow
+You are about to become $8
+Your mouth may be moving, but nobody is listening
+The problem with resisting temptation is that it may never come again
+All your sorrows will vanish
+About time I got out of that cookie
+Love will lead the way
+It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it
+Soon, a visitor shall delight you
+What breaks in a moment may take years to mend
+Someone stole your fortune and replaced it with this one
+You will be rewarded for your patience and understanding
+You will achieve all your desires and pleasures
+Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut
+Nothing Shows A Man's Character More Than What He Laughs At
+Never regret anything that made you smile
+Love Takes Pratice
+Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does
+At this very moment you can change the rest of your life
+Become who you are
+All comes at the proper time to him who knows how to wait
+The energy is within you
+The quotes that you do not understand, are not meant for you
+You have an important new business development shaping up
+Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues
+Benefit by doing things that others give up on
+Rest has a peaceful effect on your physical and emotional health
+One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears--by listening to them
+Plan your work and work your plan
+Over self-confidence is equal to being blind
+Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves
+Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos
+Old friends make best friends
+Stop searching forever
+Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better
+Kiss is not a kiss without the heart
+Enhance your karma by engaging in various charitable activities
+You will have good luck and overcome many hardships
+You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems
+Hope is like food
+WHEN FIRE AND WATER GO TO WAR WATER ALWAYS WINS
+An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes
+Make the system work for you, not the other way around
+You will be hungry soon, order takeout now
+Be prepared for extra energy
+An unexpected relationship will become permanent
+The love of your life is sitting across from you
+Better be the head of a chicken than the tail of an ox
+To forgive others one more time is to create one more blessing for yourself
+Enjoy yourself while you can
+The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands
+Excellence is the difference between what I do and what I am capable of
+Do not let what you do not have prevent you from using what you do have
+What ends on hope does not end at all
+People enjoy having you around
+You are admired for your adventuous ways
+You are blessed, today is the day to bless others
+The Greatest War Sometimes Isn't On The Battlefield But Against Oneself
+People in your background will be more co-operative than usual
+A good way to stay healthy is to eat more Chinese food
+Anyone who dares to be, can never be weak
+Affirm it, visualize it, believe it, and it`will actualize itself
+The measure of time to your next goal is the measure of your discipline
+Take a minute and let it ride, then take a minute to let it breeze
+We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other
+To affirm is to make firm
+Remember this: duct tape can fix anything, so don't worry about messing things up
+Failure is not defeat until you stop trying
+The days that make us happy make us wise
+Men do not fail
+Time may fly by
+You will win success in whatever you adopt
+You will outdistance all your competitors
+Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing
+When you get something for nothing, you just haven't been billed for it yet
+You will discover your hidden talents
+You'll advance for with your abilities
+When you can't naturally feel upbeat it can sometimes help you to act as if you did
+You will overcome difficult times
+Your problem just became your stepping stone
+I am a fortune
+The majority of the word "can't" is can
+The secret of getting ahead is getting started
+Be most affectionate today
+Change your thoughts and you change the world
+Sing and rejoice, fortune is smiling on you
+A truly great person never puts away the simplicity of a child
+Customer service is like taking a bath you have to keep doing it
+The expanse of your intelligence is a void no universe could ever fill
+Those grapes you cannot taste are always sour
+An unexpected aquaintance will resurface
+If you want the rainbow, then you have to tolerate the rain
+You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note
+The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running
+The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
+The best things in life aren't things
+Don't bother looking for fault
+Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it
+Nothing is as good or bad as it appears
+Never cut what you can untie
+Meet your opponent half way
+Laughter is the shortest distance between two people
+We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails
+We could learn a lot from crayons: Some of are sharp, some are pretty, some have weird names, and all are different colors
+Use your instincts now
+If you take a single step to your journey, you'll succeed; it's not best to fail
+In the eyes of lovers, everything is beautiful
+Warning, do not eat your fortune
+Demonstrate refinement in everything you do
+Impossible standards just make life difficult
+A different world cannot be build by indifferent people
+Q
+All troubles you have can pass away very quickly
+Integrity is the essense of everything successful
+Sometimes the object of the journey is not the end, but the journey itself
+Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment
+The food here taste so good, even a cave man likes it
+Perhaps you've been focusing too much on spending
+Happiness isn't something you remember, it's something you experience
+Oops
+The dream is within you
+Love is on its way
+Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that way
+Use your talents
+The troubles you have now will pass away quickly
+See the light at the end of the tunnel
+Your dream will come true when you least expect it
+Don't 'face' reality, let it be the place from which you leap
+Fortune smiles upon you today
+Believing is doing
+Your dynamic eyes have attracted a secret admirer
+You know where you are going and how to get there
+Go confidently in the direction of your dreams
+Your ability to pick a winner will bring you success
+Humor usually works at the moment of awkwardness
+A good time to finish up old tasks
+Enthusiastic leadership gets you a promotion when you least expect it
+You love Chinese food
+You are far more influential than you think
+Adjust finances, make budgets, to improve your standing
+Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it
+An understanding heart warms all that are graced with it's presense
+Your co-workers take pleasure in your great sense of creativity
+You are one of the people who "goes places in life
+Others enjoy your company
+When in doubt, let your instincts guide you
+A cheerful message is on its way to you
+A pleasant surprise is in store for you tonight
+To courageously shoulder the responsibility of one's mistake is character
+The joyful energy of the day will have a positive affect on you
+You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first
+Dogs have owners, cats have staff
+Be patient: in time, even an egg will walk
+You are not a person who can be ignored
+You always know the right times to be assertive or to simply wait
+Reading to the mind is what exercise is to the body
+Eat something you never tried before
+You need to live authentically, and you can't ignore that
+Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can
+A well-aimed spear is worth three
+To build a better world, start in your community
+When you can't naturally feel upbeat, it can sometimes help to act a if you did
+May you have great luck
+A kind word will keep someone warm for years
+Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion
+Human invented language to satisfy the need to complain
+Accept what comes to you each day
+A small lucky package is on its way to you soon
+In human endeavor, chance favors the prepared mind
+Do not upset the penguin today
+Don't cry
+The best way to give credit is to give it away
+Anything you do, do it well
+It takes more then good memory to have good memories
+Grant yourself a wish this year only you can do it
+You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments
+There are many new opportunities that are being presented to you
+You will inherit a large sum of money
+You will recieve a gift from someone that cares about you
+You are not illiterate
+Love because it is the only true adventure
+Keep true to the dreams of your youth
+Treasure what you have
+The greatest precept is continual awareness
+A new friend helps you break out of an old routine
+I have a dream
+Your skill will accomplish what the force of many cannot
+You will soon be surrounded by good friends and laughter
+The best is yet to come
+It is better to be the hammer then the anvil
+He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step
+Action speaks nothing, without the Motive
+Give yourself some peace and quiet for at least a few hours
+Old dreams never die they just get filed away
+You can fix it with a little extra energy and a positive attitude
+A man without aim is like a clock without hands, as useless if it turns as if it stands
+Many folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be
+You should be able to make money and hold on to it
+The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it
+Your succeess will astonish everyone
+It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today
+Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant
+You like Chinese food
+Your hard work will get payoff today
+No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future
+Your secret desire to completely change your life will manifest
+Soon you will be sitting on top of the world
+You are never selfish with your advice or your help
+A thrilling time is in store for you
+It's tough to be fascinating
+Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him
+Keep your plans secret for now
+Traveling this year will bring your life into greater perspective
+Only talent people get help  from others
+Constant grinding can turn an iron nod into a needle
+When you're about to turn your heart into a stone remember: you do not walk alone
+You are vigorous in words and action
+The one who snores will always fall asleep first
+Rest is a good thing, but boredom is its brother
+Do not be overly judgemental of your loved one's intentions or actions
+Think of how you can assist on a problem, not who to blame
+The life of every woman or man - the heart of it - is pure and holy joy
+Trust your intuition
+Use your head, but live in your heart
+Your passions sweep you away
+Think of mother's exhortations more
+The gambler is like the fisherman both have beginners luck
+You are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure
+The simplest answer is to act
+You will always be surrounded by true friends
+Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you
+You are the man of righteousness and integrity
+He who seeks will find
+The smart thing to do is to begin trusting your intuitions
+Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you
+Pick a path with heart
+The human spirit is stronger then anything that can happen to it
+It takes more than good memory to have good memories
+Face facts with dignity
+Be calm when confronting an emergency crisis
+Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded
+A new wardrobe brings great joy and change in your life
+Everyone agrees you are the best
+A new outlook brightens your image and brings new friends
+Everything will now come your way
+You will be called to fill a position of high honor and responsibility
+The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people
+Good beginning is half done
+Some pursue happiness; you create it
+It's the worst of times, you need to summon your optimism
+You are cautious in showing your true self to others
+Your ability to accomplish tasks will follow with success
+We all have extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released
+You will have a bright future
+Compassion is a way of being
+You will always have good luck in your personal affairs
+Perhaps you've been focusing too much on that one thing
+Right now there's an energy pushing you in a new direction
+Everybody feels lucky for having you as a friend
+When the moment comes, take  the top one
+Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation
+There is always a way - if you are committed
+Life is too short to waste time hating anyone
+All the world may not love a lover but they will be watching him
+Don't just spend time, invest it
+Life  always gets harder near the summit
+Take the chance while you still have the choice
+It is much easier to be cirtical than to be correct
+Enjoy life! It is better to be happy than wise
+To make the cart go, you must grease the wheels
+You are contemplating some action which will bring credit upon you
+You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try
+You will always get what you want through your charm and personality
+The big issues are work, career, or status right now
+Your emotional currents are flowing powerfully now
+Any decision you have to make tomorrow is a good decsion
+Consume less
+The secret of staying young is good health and lying about your age
+Spring has sprung
+Go ask your mom
+The possibility of a career change is near
+The important thing is to never stop questioning
+Compassion will cure more then condemnation
+Excuses are easy to manufacture, and hard to sell
+Put your mind into planning today
+Broke is only temporaryl poor is a state of mind
+Here we go
+Teamwork: the fuel that allows common people attain uncommon results
+Hard words break no bones, fine words butter no parsnips
+We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails
+You are offered the dream of a lifetime
+Working out the kinks today will make for a better tomorrow
+You have a curious smile and a mysterious nature
+Questions provide the key to unlocking our unlimited potential
+You will enjoy razon-sharp spiritual vision today
+Well-arranged time is the surest sign of a well-arranged mind
+Never bring unhappy feelings into your home
+This is really a lovely day
+Bad luck and ill misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity
+A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month
+You are very grateful for the small pleasures of life
+today you should be a passenger
+For hate is never conquered by hate
+Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this planet
+Good clothes open many doors
+The leader seeks to communicate his vision to his followers
+Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance
+Present your best ideas today to an eager and welcoming audience
+Friends long absent are coming back to you
+The time is right to make new friends
+You may be hungry soon: order a takeout now
+Do not hesitate to look for help, an extra hand should always be welcomed
+What's vice today may be virtue tomorow
+You have an unusually magnetic personality
+You will travel to many places
+Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become
+You have a quiet and unobtrusive nature
+Great thoughts come from the heart
+Judge not according to the appearance
+One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes
+Traveling more often is important for your health and happiness
+You have a reputation for being straightforward and honest
+You are always welcome in any gathering
+You will be traveling and coming into a fortune
+Open up your heart - it can always be closed again
+Being happy is not always being perfect
+Next time you have the opportunity, go on a rollercoaster
+Try everything once, even the things you don't think you will like
+Life is too short to hold grudges
+Dream your dream and your dream will dream of you
+Being alone and being lonely are two different things
+Don't worry about things in the past, there is nothing you can do about them now
+Tomorrow, take a moment to do something just for yourself
+Someone close to you is waiting for you to call
+A virtual fortune cookie will not satisfy your hunger like that of a home made one
+Smile
+You can never been certain of success, but you can be certain of failure if you never try
+It takes ten times as many muscles to frown as it does to smile
+Shoot for the moon! If you miss you will still be amongst the stars
+Keep your eyes open
+Tell them what you really think
+Let your heart make your decisions - it does not get as confused as your head
+Working hard will make you live a happy life
+A pleasant surprise is waiting for you
+If you have something good in your life, don't let it go!
+If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
+Jealousy doesn't open doors, it closes them!
+When fear hurts you, conquer it and defeat it! 
+You will always be surrounded by true friends
+Do not fear what you don't know
+If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words
+Do not be covered in sadness or be fooled in happiness they both must exist
+You will have a pleasant surprise
+Express yourself: Don't hold back!
+good things take time
+Man is born to live and not prepare to live
+If you don t give something, you will  not get anything
+The harder you try to not be like your parents, the more likely you will become them
+Someday everything will all make perfect sense
+you will think for yourself when you stop letting others think for you
+Let's finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that
+A dream you have will come true
+I think, you ate your fortune while you were eating your cookie
+If u love someone keep fighting for them
+Do what you want, when you want, and you will be rewarded
+The cooler you think you are the dumber you look
+Expect great things and great things will come
+The Wheel of Good Fortune is finally turning in your direction!
+You will always be successful in your professional career
+Our perception and attitude toward any situation will determine the outcome
+It's a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter
+Ideas you believe are absurd ultimately lead to success!
+the project on your mind will soon gain momentum
+It's Never Too Late For Good Things To Happen!
+Isn't there something else you should be working on right now?
+The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
+Your worst enemy has a crush on you!
+The best prophet of the future is the past
+Movies have pause buttons, friends do not
+A bird in the hand is worth three in the bush!!
+Hope brings about a better future
+Cookie says, "You crack me up"
+Today is going to be a disasterous day, be prepared!
+Tomorrow Morning,Take a Left Turn As Soon As You Leave Home
+Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it
+TOO MANY PEOPLE VOLUNTEER TO CARRY THE STOOL WHEN ITS TIME TO MOVE THE PIANO
+You are what you are; understand yourself before you react
+Everything will now come your way
+It is much easier to look for the bad, than it is to find the good
+If a person who has caused you pain and suffering has brought you, reconsider that person's value in your life
+You are worth loving, you are also worth the effort it takes to love you
+Life is a dancefloor,you are the DJ!
+Focus in on the color yellow tomorrow for good luck!
+The ads revenge is massive success
+Take control of your life rather than letting things happen just like that!
+You've got what it takes, but it will take everything you've got!
+if love someone a lot tell it before it's too late
+Love or money, or neither?
+It's never crowded along the "extra mile"
+Help, I'm prisoner in a Chinese bakery!!!
+If everybody is a worm you should be a glow worm
+You broke my cookie!
+You have a great capability to break cookies - use it wisely!
+AT TIMES IT IS BETTER TO KNOW WHEN EXIT THAN ENTER
+All the preparation you've done will finally be paying off!
+For true love? Send real roses preserved in 24kt gold!
+Stop procrastinating - starting tomorrow
+you cant go down the right path with out first discovering the path to go down
+Your life becomes more and more of an adventure!
+love thy neighbour, just don't get caught
+You  are  contemplating  some  action  which will bring credit upon you
+Live each day well and wisely
+Life is a verb
+It's kind of fun to do the impossible
+Wow! A secret message from you teeth!
+Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday
+There are no shortcuts to any place worth going
+Soon life will become more interesting
+Aren't you glad you just had a great meal?
+You will be successful in your work
+you will spend old age in confort and material wealth
+I am a bad luck person since I was born
+An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly!
+Take it easy
+Don't find fault, find a remedy
+It may be those who do most, dream most
+Listen to yourself more often
+The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more
+Did you remember to order your take out also?
+Before you wonder "Am I doing things right," ask "Am I doing the right things?"
+Listen to life, and you will hear the voice of life crying, Be!
+The wise are aware of their treasure, while fools follow their vanity
+People who are late are often happier than those who have to wait for them
+Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure
+How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes?
+Humor is an affirmation of dignity
+He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step
+"Accept yourself"
+"Be a generous friend and a fair enemy"
+Never quit!
+Old friends, old wines and old gold are best
+If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted
+Every Friend Joys in your Success
+You should be able to undertake and complete anything
+You will enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury
+You are a person of strong sense of duty
+You love peace
+You will be sharing great news with all people you love

From d9aad42acec27a5f6b89ac9bd2f50706d123ad3e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 16:52:16 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 42/79] Add Excuse service to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java   |  6 +++-
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java      | 31 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 36 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
index 23639cd8..f05f20fc 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
@@ -7,10 +7,13 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
 
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.jsoup.Connection;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class ExcuseDB
@@ -27,6 +30,7 @@ public void addExcuse( String excuse )
 
     public String getRandExcuse()
     {
-        return redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet ) ).toString();
+        return Optional.ofNullable(redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet ) ))
+                .map(Response::toString).orElse(null);
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..995b06cc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ExcuseDB;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ExcusesService {
+
+    @Inject
+    ExcuseDB excuseDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!excuse")
+    public String getExcuse() {
+        String excuse = excuseDB.getRandExcuse();
+        if (excuse != null) {
+            return excuse;
+        } else {
+            return "No excuses available";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!excuseadd @excuse")
+    public String addExcuse(String excuse) {
+        excuseDB.addExcuse(excuse);
+        return "Excuse was added to database";
+    }
+}

From 82bc6b68cc348e2aa86bedfa8dd780707c6e3675 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 17:07:21 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 43/79] Add DownOrJustMeService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java | 176 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java |   4 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java |   8 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java |   8 +
 4 files changed, 192 insertions(+), 4 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1308b620
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,176 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.math.BigInteger;
+import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
+import java.net.InetAddress;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.net.UnknownHostException;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class DownOrJustMeService
+{
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    private static final int PING_TIMEOUT = 3000;
+
+    private static final int HTTP_TIMEOUT = 5000;
+
+    private static final String[] DISALLOWED_SUBNETS = new String[] { "10.0.0.0/8" };
+
+    // Some sites check for this and returns non-2xx status. Ridiculous!
+    private static final String HTTP_UA =
+        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Fedora; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/77.0.3865.90 Safari/537.36";
+
+    @OnMessage("!downorjustme @hostnameOrUrl")
+    public String check( String hostnameOrUrl )
+    {
+        InetAddress destination;
+        try
+        {
+            destination = getHostNetAddress( hostnameOrUrl );
+        }
+        catch ( UnknownHostException e )
+        {
+            return  "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!";
+        }
+
+        try
+        {
+            validateDestination( destination );
+        }
+        catch ( IllegalArgumentException e )
+        {
+            return e.getMessage();
+        }
+
+        URL url;
+        try
+        {
+            url = urlFactory.build( hostnameOrUrl );
+        }
+        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
+        {
+            try
+            {
+                url = urlFactory.build( "http", hostnameOrUrl, 80, "/" );
+            }
+            catch ( MalformedURLException ex )
+            {
+                throw new RuntimeException( ex ); // This should not happen
+            }
+        }
+
+        int status = httpGet( url );
+        if ( status >= 400 )
+        {
+            return "It responded with a non-2xx status code (" + status + "), but the host is up.";
+        }
+        else if ( status != -1 )
+        {
+            return  "LGTM! It's just you.";
+        }
+
+        if ( icmpPing( destination ) )
+        {
+            return  "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up.";
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "Nope, it's not just you. The host looks down from here, too!";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static InetAddress getHostNetAddress( String hostnameOrUrl )
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return InetAddress.getByName( new URL( hostnameOrUrl ).getHost() );
+        }
+        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
+        {
+            // noop
+        }
+
+        return InetAddress.getByName( hostnameOrUrl );
+    }
+
+    private static void validateDestination( InetAddress destination )
+    {
+        if ( destination.isMulticastAddress() )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "A multicast address? Seriously? Stop flooding the network already." );
+        }
+
+        if ( destination.isLoopbackAddress() )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "You wouldn't think I was that vulnerable, right?" );
+        }
+
+        for ( String subnet : DISALLOWED_SUBNETS )
+        {
+            InetAddress id;
+            try
+            {
+                id = InetAddress.getByName( subnet.split( "/" )[0] );
+            }
+            catch ( UnknownHostException e )
+            {
+                throw new RuntimeException( "Check DISALLOWED_SUBNETS constant validity!" );
+            }
+            int maskLength = Integer.parseInt( subnet.split( "/" )[1] );
+
+            byte[] idBytes = id.getAddress();
+            byte[] destinationBytes = destination.getAddress();
+            if ( idBytes.length != destinationBytes.length )
+            {
+                continue; // Don't match between IPv4 and IPv6
+            }
+
+            if ( new BigInteger( idBytes ).shiftRight( idBytes.length
+                * 8 - maskLength ).equals(
+                                           new BigInteger( destinationBytes ).shiftRight( destinationBytes.length * 8
+                                               - maskLength ) ) )
+            {
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Ah-ha! Destinations in subnet " + subnet + " are not allowed." );
+            }
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static boolean icmpPing( InetAddress destination )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return destination.isReachable( PING_TIMEOUT );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            return false;
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static int httpGet( URL url )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            HttpURLConnection httpClient = (HttpURLConnection) url.openConnection();
+            httpClient.setConnectTimeout( HTTP_TIMEOUT );
+            httpClient.setReadTimeout( HTTP_TIMEOUT );
+            httpClient.setRequestMethod( "GET" );
+            httpClient.setRequestProperty( "User-Agent", HTTP_UA );
+            return httpClient.getResponseCode();
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            return -1;
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
index b90d3d40..ae6f4df0 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
@@ -5,6 +5,6 @@
 
 public interface URLFactory
 {
-    public URL build( String url )
-        throws MalformedURLException;
+    URL build( String url ) throws MalformedURLException;
+    URL build( String protocol, String host, int port, String file ) throws MalformedURLException;
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
index 007481bc..409b4050 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
@@ -8,9 +8,13 @@
 public class URLFactoryImpl
     implements URLFactory
 {
-    public URL build( String url )
-        throws MalformedURLException
+    public URL build( String url ) throws MalformedURLException
     {
         return new URL( url );
     }
+
+    @Override
+    public URL build(String protocol, String host, int port, String file) throws MalformedURLException {
+        return new URL(protocol, host, port, file);
+    }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
index 0297c23d..309b852c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
@@ -29,6 +29,14 @@ public URL build( String url )
         return testURL;
     }
 
+    @Override
+    public URL build(String protocol, String host, int port, String file) throws MalformedURLException {
+        URL testURL =
+                new URL( protocol, host, port, file, urlStreamHandler );
+        urlStringToUrlMap.put( testURL.toString(), testURL );
+        return testURL;
+    }
+
     public URL getURL( String url )
     {
         return urlStringToUrlMap.get( url );

From b44775e4db8f37439a7730c581f665514826f909 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 17:22:01 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 44/79] Add DecideService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../vilebot/services/DecideService.java       | 59 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 59 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..18e692a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
+/**
+ * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+ *
+ * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+ * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class DecideService
+{
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @OnMessage("!decide ?@maybeNoun ?@maybePrefix @choices")
+    public String onDecision( @Regex("\\[.*\\]") Optional<String> maybeNoun,
+            @Regex("\\{.*\\}") Optional<String> maybePrefix,
+            @Delimiter("\\|") List<String> choices) {
+        String noun = maybeNoun.orElse("you");
+        if ( !noun.equals( "you" ) )
+        {
+            noun = noun.substring( 1, noun.length() - 1 );
+        }
+
+        String prefix = maybePrefix.orElse("");
+
+        if ( prefix.length() >= 2 )
+        {
+            prefix = prefix.substring( 1, prefix.length() - 1 ).concat( " " );
+        }
+
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+
+        if ( choices.size() == 1 )
+        {
+            sb.append( "If you already know what you want to do, what are you bugging me for? You should " );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            sb.append( "I think " + noun + " should " );
+        }
+
+        sb.append( prefix );
+        sb.append( randomProvider.getRandomElement(choices).trim() );
+        sb.append( ". Go do that now." );
+
+        return sb.toString();
+    }
+}

From 07f3753ddc9cf2e8937aef2ad6d51582f43217bd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 19:26:17 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 45/79] Add CountdownService; Made Java 15+ compatiable;
 Formatted Code

---
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   6 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java   |   3 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    |   2 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java |   9 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java   |  10 +-
 .../vilebot/services/CountdownService.java    | 394 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/DecideService.java       |  15 +-
 .../vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java |   8 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java      |  22 +-
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneService.java      |  24 +-
 .../vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java    |  20 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java |   5 +-
 .../vilebot/services/InspirationService.java  |  48 ++-
 .../vilebot/services/JazizService.java        |  28 +-
 .../vilebot/services/JokesService.java        |  42 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |  53 ++-
 .../services/KarmaTransferService.java        |  98 +++--
 .../services/LastMessageSedService.java       |  27 +-
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java     |  34 +-
 .../vilebot/services/MarkovService.java       |  53 ++-
 .../vilebot/services/NewsService.java         | 307 ++++++--------
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java      | 177 ++++----
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     |  55 ++-
 .../services/RockPaperScissorsService.java    |  96 +++--
 .../vilebot/services/SummonService.java       |  26 +-
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       | 146 ++++---
 .../services/TwitterCorrectionService.java    |  10 +-
 .../services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java    |  18 +-
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java |   5 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java   |  30 +-
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java        |  40 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |   2 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java    |   7 +-
 .../vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java         |  17 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java |   7 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java |   9 +-
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   1 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java |   7 +-
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    | 329 ++++++++++++++-
 39 files changed, 1550 insertions(+), 640 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 47edb0c4..853a0245 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -97,7 +97,11 @@
       <version>0.17</version>
       <scope>compile</scope>
     </dependency>
-
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.beanshell</groupId>
+      <artifactId>bsh</artifactId>
+      <version>2.0b4</version>
+    </dependency>
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
index f05f20fc..bc5ad757 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
@@ -30,7 +30,6 @@ public void addExcuse( String excuse )
 
     public String getRandExcuse()
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable(redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet ) ))
-                .map(Response::toString).orElse(null);
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( keyOfExcuseSet ) ) ).map( Response::toString ).orElse( null );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
index c89a1275..4a8e8008 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ public class KarmaDB
      */
     public void modNounKarma( String noun, Number mod )
     {
-        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, Long.toString(mod.longValue()), noun );
+        redisClient.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, Long.toString( mod.longValue() ), noun );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
index 1b3f7ea5..11eb23f7 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
@@ -29,9 +29,12 @@ public class LastSeenDB
     public Optional<Long> getLastSeenTime( String nick )
     {
         Response response = redisClient.hget( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick );
-        if (response != null) {
-            return Optional.of(response.toLong());
-        } else {
+        if ( response != null )
+        {
+            return Optional.of( response.toLong() );
+        }
+        else
+        {
             return Optional.empty();
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
index 9780795f..124185cd 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
@@ -11,13 +11,15 @@
  * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
  */
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class ChatLoggerService {
+public class ChatLoggerService
+{
 
     @Inject
     LogDB logDB;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(value = "@message", channel = "${vilebot.markov.channel}")
-    public void logMessage(@Regex("[^!].*") String message) {
-        logDB.addItem(message + "\n");
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "@message", channel = "${vilebot.markov.channel}" )
+    public void logMessage( @Regex( "[^!].*" ) String message )
+    {
+        logDB.addItem( message + "\n" );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..429dde64
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,394 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import bsh.EvalError;
+import bsh.Interpreter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import org.apache.commons.lang3.ArrayUtils;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.Arrays;
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.Hashtable;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Random;
+import java.util.Set;
+import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
+import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
+
+/**
+ * Created by ipun on 29/06/17. Countdown implementation based off of Trivia.java
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+@Bot( "CountdownB0t1" )
+public class CountdownService
+{
+    private static final String COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL = "${vilebot.countdown.channel}";
+
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds( 45 );
+
+    private static final int ANSWER_THRESHOLD = 200;
+
+    private static final int INVALID_STAKE = 10;
+
+    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
+
+    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
+
+    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
+
+    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    CountdownGame currGame = null;
+
+    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
+
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "!countdown", channel = COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL )
+    public String startNewGame( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        return startCountdownGame( event );
+    }
+
+    @OnPrivateMessage( "!solution @answer" )
+    public String onSolution( User user, String answer )
+    {
+        return checkAnswer( user, answer );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!countdownrules" )
+    public void getRules( User user )
+    {
+        for ( String line : getRules() )
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( line );
+        }
+    }
+
+    private synchronized String startCountdownGame( ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent )
+    {
+        if ( currGame == null )
+        {
+            currGame = new CountdownGame();
+            StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+            for ( String line : currGame.getCountdownIntro() )
+            {
+                out.append( line + "\n" );
+            }
+            out.append( getSubmissionRuleString() );
+            startTimer( channelMessageEvent.getChannel() );
+            return out.toString();
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return String.join( "\n", currGame.alreadyPlaying() );
+        }
+    }
+
+    private synchronized String checkAnswer( User user, String submission )
+    {
+        String contestant = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        try
+        {
+            int contestantAnswer = currGame.interpretedAnswer( submission );
+            if ( !answerBreaksThreshold( currGame.getTargetNumber(), contestantAnswer ) )
+            {
+                if ( !currGame.submissions.containsKey( contestant ) )
+                {
+                    currGame.setSubmission( contestant, submission, contestantAnswer );
+                    return String.format( "Your submission of %s has been received!", submission );
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    return String.format( "Sorry %s, you've already submitted for this game.", contestant );
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( contestant, -1 * INVALID_STAKE );
+                return String.format( "You have put an answer that breaks the threshold of +-%d, you lose %d karma.",
+                                      ANSWER_THRESHOLD, INVALID_STAKE );
+            }
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( contestant, -1 * INVALID_STAKE );
+            return String.format( "Sorry %s! You have put an invalid answer, you lose %d karma.", contestant,
+                                  INVALID_STAKE );
+
+        }
+    }
+
+    private void startTimer( Channel channel )
+    {
+        timeService.onTimeout( TIMEOUT, () -> {
+            timeoutTimer( channel );
+        } );
+    }
+
+    private void timeoutTimer( Channel channel )
+    {
+        Set<String> keys = currGame.submissions.keySet();
+        channel.sendMessage( String.format( "Your time is up! The target number was %s.",
+                                            RED + currGame.getTargetNumber() + RESET ) );
+        if ( !keys.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            channel.sendMessage( "The final submissions are:" );
+            for ( String key : keys )
+            {
+                channel.sendMessage( key + ", with " + currGame.getSubmissionAndAnswer( key ) );
+            }
+            Set<String> winners = currGame.winners.keySet();
+            if ( !winners.isEmpty() )
+            {
+                int karmaAwarded;
+                channel.sendMessage( "The winners are :" );
+                for ( String winner : winners )
+                {
+                    karmaAwarded = currGame.karmaAwarded( winner );
+                    channel.sendMessage( winner + ", awarded " + karmaAwarded + " karma." );
+                    karmaDB.modNounKarma( winner, karmaAwarded );
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                channel.sendMessage( "There are no winners for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            channel.sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        }
+        currGame = null;
+        stopTimer();
+    }
+
+    private void stopTimer()
+    {
+        timer.shutdownNow();
+        timer = Executors.newFixedThreadPool( 1 );
+    }
+
+    private boolean answerBreaksThreshold( int targetNumber, int contestantAnswer )
+    {
+        return ( Math.abs( targetNumber - contestantAnswer ) >= ANSWER_THRESHOLD );
+    }
+
+    private String[] getRules()
+    {
+        return new String[] { " " + RED + "COUNTDOWN RULES:" + RESET,
+            "1) Get as close as you can to the target number using only the numbers given.",
+            RED + "TIP: You do not have to use all the numbers." + RESET,
+            "2) Answer with !solution <your answer> . Make sure to only use valid characters, such as numbers and + - * / ( ) . ",
+            "Breaking Rule 2 will subject you to a loss of " + INVALID_STAKE + " karma.",
+            "3) The closer you are to the target number, the more karma you will get (max. 10).",
+            RED + "TIP: If you are over/under " + ANSWER_THRESHOLD + " you will be penalized " + INVALID_STAKE
+                + " karma." + RESET,
+            "4) Use \" /msg CountdownB0t !solution <your answer> \" for your answers." };
+    }
+
+    private String getSubmissionRuleString()
+    {
+        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + "CountdownB0t1" + RED + " !solution < answer > \" to submit." + RESET;
+    }
+
+    private static class CountdownGame
+    {
+        private final int VALID_NUMBER_COUNT = 6;
+
+        private final List<Integer> LARGE_NUMBERS = new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 25, 50, 75, 100 ) );
+
+        private final List<Integer> SMALL_NUMBERS =
+            new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ) );
+
+        private List<Integer> questionNumbers = new ArrayList<>();
+
+        private Hashtable<String, String> submissions = new Hashtable<>();
+
+        private Hashtable<String, Integer> answers = new Hashtable<>();
+
+        private Hashtable<String, Integer> winners = new Hashtable<>();
+
+        private int largeNumberCount;
+
+        private int smallNumberCount;
+
+        private int targetNumber;
+
+        Interpreter interpreter;
+
+        Random rand = new Random();
+
+        CountdownGame()
+        {
+            shuffleNumbers();
+            largeNumberCount = rand.nextInt( LARGE_NUMBERS.size() + 1 );
+            smallNumberCount = VALID_NUMBER_COUNT - largeNumberCount;
+            questionNumbers.addAll( LARGE_NUMBERS.subList( 0, largeNumberCount ) );
+            questionNumbers.addAll( SMALL_NUMBERS.subList( 0, smallNumberCount ) );
+            targetNumber = generateTargetNumber();
+        }
+
+        // target number should be between 100-999.
+        private int generateTargetNumber()
+        {
+            return rand.nextInt( 900 ) + 100;
+        }
+
+        private String getSubmissionAndAnswer( String contestant )
+        {
+            return String.format( "%s = %d", getSubmission( contestant ), getAnswer( contestant ) );
+        }
+
+        private int getAnswer( String contestant )
+        {
+            return answers.get( contestant );
+        }
+
+        private String getSubmission( String contestant )
+        {
+            return submissions.get( contestant );
+        }
+
+        private void setSubmission( String contestant, String submission, int interpretedAnswer )
+        {
+            submissions.put( contestant, submission );
+            answers.put( contestant, interpretedAnswer );
+            int karma = karmaAwarded( contestant );
+            if ( karma > 0 )
+            {
+                winners.put( contestant, karma );
+            }
+        }
+
+        private int karmaAwarded( String contestant )
+        {
+            if ( answers.containsKey( contestant ) )
+            {
+                return 10 - ( Math.abs( targetNumber - answers.get( contestant ) ) );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                return 0;
+            }
+        }
+
+        private int getLargeNumberCount()
+        {
+            return largeNumberCount;
+        }
+
+        private int getSmallNumberCount()
+        {
+            return smallNumberCount;
+        }
+
+        private int getTargetNumber()
+        {
+            return targetNumber;
+        }
+
+        private List<Integer> getQuestionNumbers()
+        {
+            return questionNumbers;
+        }
+
+        private List<String> getCountdownIntro()
+        {
+            List<String> countdownIntro = new ArrayList<>();
+            countdownIntro.add( GREEN + "Welcome to Countdown!" + RESET );
+            countdownIntro.add( "See the game rules with !countdownrules." );
+            countdownIntro.addAll( Arrays.asList( getQuestion() ) );
+            countdownIntro.add( "Good luck! You have 45 seconds." );
+            return countdownIntro;
+        }
+
+        private String[] getQuestion()
+        {
+            return new String[] { "Your numbers are:", RED + getQuestionNumbers().toString() + RESET, "Your target is:",
+                RED + getTargetNumber() + RESET };
+        }
+
+        private void shuffleNumbers()
+        {
+            Collections.shuffle( LARGE_NUMBERS );
+            Collections.shuffle( SMALL_NUMBERS );
+        }
+
+        private int interpretedAnswer( String answer )
+            throws Exception
+        {
+            if ( noSpecialCharacters( answer ) )
+            {
+                if ( hasCorrectNumbers( answer ) )
+                {
+                    interpreter = new Interpreter();
+                    try
+                    {
+                        interpreter.eval( "result = " + answer );
+                        return ( (int) interpreter.get( "result" ) );
+                    }
+                    catch ( EvalError e )
+                    {
+                        e.printStackTrace();
+                        throw e;
+                    }
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    throw new Exception( "wrong numbers are included in solution" );
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                throw new Exception( "special characters are included in solution" );
+            }
+        }
+
+        private boolean noSpecialCharacters( String answer )
+        {
+            return answer.matches( "^[-*+/()\\s\\d]+$" );
+        }
+
+        private boolean hasCorrectNumbers( String answer )
+        {
+            String[] numList = answer.replaceAll( "[^\\d]+", " " ).trim().split( " " );
+            List<Integer> questionNums = new ArrayList<>( getQuestionNumbers() );
+            for ( String num : numList )
+            {
+                int number = Integer.valueOf( num );
+                if ( questionNums.contains( number ) )
+                {
+                    questionNums.remove( (Integer) number );
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    return false;
+                }
+            }
+            return true;
+        }
+
+        private String[] alreadyPlaying()
+        {
+            return ArrayUtils.addAll( new String[] { "A current game is already in progress." }, getQuestion() );
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
index 18e692a3..2f8ae8a8 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
@@ -22,17 +22,18 @@ public class DecideService
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
-    @OnMessage("!decide ?@maybeNoun ?@maybePrefix @choices")
-    public String onDecision( @Regex("\\[.*\\]") Optional<String> maybeNoun,
-            @Regex("\\{.*\\}") Optional<String> maybePrefix,
-            @Delimiter("\\|") List<String> choices) {
-        String noun = maybeNoun.orElse("you");
+    @OnMessage( "!decide ?@maybeNoun ?@maybePrefix @choices" )
+    public String onDecision( @Regex( "\\[.*\\]" ) Optional<String> maybeNoun,
+                              @Regex( "\\{.*\\}" ) Optional<String> maybePrefix,
+                              @Delimiter( "\\|" ) List<String> choices )
+    {
+        String noun = maybeNoun.orElse( "you" );
         if ( !noun.equals( "you" ) )
         {
             noun = noun.substring( 1, noun.length() - 1 );
         }
 
-        String prefix = maybePrefix.orElse("");
+        String prefix = maybePrefix.orElse( "" );
 
         if ( prefix.length() >= 2 )
         {
@@ -51,7 +52,7 @@ public String onDecision( @Regex("\\[.*\\]") Optional<String> maybeNoun,
         }
 
         sb.append( prefix );
-        sb.append( randomProvider.getRandomElement(choices).trim() );
+        sb.append( randomProvider.getRandomElement( choices ).trim() );
         sb.append( ". Go do that now." );
 
         return sb.toString();
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
index 1308b620..8f34c4dd 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ public class DownOrJustMeService
     private static final String HTTP_UA =
         "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Fedora; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/77.0.3865.90 Safari/537.36";
 
-    @OnMessage("!downorjustme @hostnameOrUrl")
+    @OnMessage( "!downorjustme @hostnameOrUrl" )
     public String check( String hostnameOrUrl )
     {
         InetAddress destination;
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ public String check( String hostnameOrUrl )
         }
         catch ( UnknownHostException e )
         {
-            return  "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!";
+            return "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!";
         }
 
         try
@@ -75,12 +75,12 @@ public String check( String hostnameOrUrl )
         }
         else if ( status != -1 )
         {
-            return  "LGTM! It's just you.";
+            return "LGTM! It's just you.";
         }
 
         if ( icmpPing( destination ) )
         {
-            return  "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up.";
+            return "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up.";
         }
         else
         {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
index 995b06cc..0b73e465 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
@@ -8,24 +8,30 @@
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class ExcusesService {
+public class ExcusesService
+{
 
     @Inject
     ExcuseDB excuseDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!excuse")
-    public String getExcuse() {
+    @OnMessage( "!excuse" )
+    public String getExcuse()
+    {
         String excuse = excuseDB.getRandExcuse();
-        if (excuse != null) {
+        if ( excuse != null )
+        {
             return excuse;
-        } else {
+        }
+        else
+        {
             return "No excuses available";
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!excuseadd @excuse")
-    public String addExcuse(String excuse) {
-        excuseDB.addExcuse(excuse);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!excuseadd @excuse" )
+    public String addExcuse( String excuse )
+    {
+        excuseDB.addExcuse( excuse );
         return "Excuse was added to database";
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
index ca3a8955..db46777f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
@@ -23,13 +23,13 @@ public class FortuneService
 
     List<String> fortunes = loadFortunes();
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!fortune")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!fortune" )
     public String onFortune()
     {
-        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(fortunes);
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( fortunes );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!fortunedirty")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!fortunedirty" )
     public String onDirtyFortune()
     {
         return "oooo you dirty";
@@ -37,15 +37,17 @@ public String onDirtyFortune()
 
     private List<String> loadFortunes()
     {
-        try (InputStream fortuneListResource = FortuneService.class.getResourceAsStream("/fortunelist.txt")) {
-            if (fortuneListResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("Unable to find fortunelist.txt");
+        try ( InputStream fortuneListResource = FortuneService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/fortunelist.txt" ) )
+        {
+            if ( fortuneListResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "Unable to find fortunelist.txt" );
             }
-            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(fortuneListResource))
-                    .lines()
-                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open fortunelist.txt");
+            return new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( fortuneListResource ) ).lines().collect( Collectors.toList() );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open fortunelist.txt" );
         }
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
index 983713a3..1ceea3eb 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
@@ -14,13 +14,15 @@
 import java.util.Scanner;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class GetInfoOnService {
+public class GetInfoOnService
+{
 
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
-    @OnMessage("!infoon @query")
-    public String getInfoOn(String query) {
+    @OnMessage( "!infoon @query" )
+    public String getInfoOn( String query )
+    {
         String queryModifier = " site:wikipedia.org";
         return getWiki( query, queryModifier );
     }
@@ -40,7 +42,7 @@ private String getWiki( String query, String queryModifier )
     }
 
     private String getWikiURLFromGoogle( String query )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         String googleURL = makeGoogleURL( query );
         String googleResponse = getContent( googleURL );
@@ -48,7 +50,7 @@ private String getWikiURLFromGoogle( String query )
     }
 
     private String makeGoogleURL( String query )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         query = encode( query );
         return "https://www.google.com/search?q=" + query;
@@ -62,11 +64,11 @@ private String getWikiLink( String googleHTML )
     }
 
     private String getContent( String url )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         String content;
         URLConnection connection;
-        connection = urlFactory.build(url).openConnection();
+        connection = urlFactory.build( url ).openConnection();
         connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
         Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
         scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
@@ -75,7 +77,7 @@ private String getContent( String url )
     }
 
     private String parseResponse( String response )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         Document doc = Jsoup.parse( response );
         Element bodyDiv = doc.getElementById( "mw-content-text" );
@@ -90,7 +92,7 @@ private String parseResponse( String response )
     }
 
     private String encode( String string )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         return URLEncoder.encode( string, StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
index 69c3ed6a..69248def 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
@@ -20,8 +20,9 @@ public class ImageToAsciiService
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!convert @url")
-    public String convert(String url) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!convert @url" )
+    public String convert( String url )
+    {
         try
         {
             return convertImage( url );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
index a86506d7..f54a28f4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
@@ -22,51 +22,57 @@ public class InspirationService
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     List<String> inspiration = loadInspirations();
+
     List<Integer> inspirationIndex = loadInspirationIndex();
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!inspiration")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!inspiration" )
     public String onInspiration()
     {
-        int index = randomProvider.getRandomElement(inspirationIndex);
+        int index = randomProvider.getRandomElement( inspirationIndex );
 
         StringBuilder reply = new StringBuilder();
         String line = inspiration.get( index );
         while ( !line.matches( "%" ) )
         {
             reply.append( line );
-            reply.append('\n');
+            reply.append( '\n' );
             line = inspiration.get( ++index );
         }
-        reply.deleteCharAt(reply.length() - 1);
+        reply.deleteCharAt( reply.length() - 1 );
         return reply.toString();
     }
 
     private List<String> loadInspirations()
     {
-        try (InputStream inspirationIndexResource = InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream("/inspirationslist.txt")) {
-            if (inspirationIndexResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("Unable to find inspirationslist.txt");
+        try ( InputStream inspirationIndexResource =
+            InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/inspirationslist.txt" ) )
+        {
+            if ( inspirationIndexResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "Unable to find inspirationslist.txt" );
             }
-            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(inspirationIndexResource))
-                    .lines()
-                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open inspirationslist.txt");
+            return new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( inspirationIndexResource ) ).lines().collect( Collectors.toList() );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open inspirationslist.txt" );
         }
     }
 
     private List<Integer> loadInspirationIndex()
     {
-        try (InputStream inspirationIndexResource = InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream("/inspirationsindex.txt")) {
-            if (inspirationIndexResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("Unable to find inspirationsindex.txt");
+        try ( InputStream inspirationIndexResource =
+            InspirationService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/inspirationsindex.txt" ) )
+        {
+            if ( inspirationIndexResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "Unable to find inspirationsindex.txt" );
             }
-            return new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(inspirationIndexResource))
-                    .lines()
-                    .map(Integer::parseInt)
-                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open inspirationsindex.txt");
+            return new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( inspirationIndexResource ) ).lines().map( Integer::parseInt ).collect( Collectors.toList() );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open inspirationsindex.txt" );
         }
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
index 96325f77..b6755a93 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
@@ -17,17 +17,19 @@
 import java.util.Scanner;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class JazizService {
+public class JazizService
+{
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
-    @ConfigProperty(name = "vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key")
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key" )
     String API_KEY;
 
     private static final String API_URL = "http://words.bighugelabs.com/api/2/";
+
     private static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
 
     private static String[] splitWords( String message )
@@ -35,17 +37,21 @@ private static String[] splitWords( String message )
         return message.split( "\\b" );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!jaziz @message")
-    public String jazizify(String message) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!jaziz @message" )
+    public String jazizify( String message )
+    {
         String[] words = splitWords( message );
         for ( int i = 0; i < words.length; i++ )
         {
             if ( !words[i].contains( " " ) )
             {
                 String replacement;
-                try {
+                try
+                {
                     replacement = words[i].length() > 3 ? randomChoice( getSynonyms( words[i] ) ) : words[i];
-                } catch (Exception e) {
+                }
+                catch ( Exception e )
+                {
                     replacement = "";
                 }
                 if ( !replacement.isEmpty() )
@@ -58,7 +64,7 @@ public String jazizify(String message) {
     }
 
     private List<String> getSynonyms( String word )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         JSONObject json = new JSONObject( getContent( word ) );
 
@@ -76,7 +82,7 @@ private List<String> getSynonyms( String word )
     }
 
     private JSONArray getSyns( JSONObject json )
-            throws JSONException
+        throws JSONException
     {
         return json.has( "syn" ) ? json.getJSONArray( "syn" ) : new JSONArray();
     }
@@ -101,7 +107,7 @@ private String stringify( String[] list )
     }
 
     private List<String> jsonToList( JSONArray array )
-            throws JSONException
+        throws JSONException
     {
         List<String> words = new ArrayList<>();
         for ( int i = 0; i < array.length(); i++ )
@@ -112,11 +118,11 @@ private List<String> jsonToList( JSONArray array )
     }
 
     private String getContent( String word )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         String content;
         URLConnection connection;
-        connection = urlFactory.build( API_URL + API_KEY + "/"  + word + API_FORMAT ).openConnection();
+        connection = urlFactory.build( API_URL + API_KEY + "/" + word + API_FORMAT ).openConnection();
         connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
         try
         {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
index dd782de3..0d1628b4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
@@ -10,42 +10,52 @@
 import java.util.List;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class JokesService {
+public class JokesService
+{
 
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     final List<String> memes = generateMemes();
+
     final List<String> dances = generateDances();
+
     final List<String> chucks = generateChucks();
+
     final List<String> containerJokes = generateContainerJokes();
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(".*container.*")
-    public String onContainerMessage() {
-        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(containerJokes);
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*container.*" )
+    public String onContainerMessage()
+    {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( containerJokes );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(".*[rR][eE][dD][dD][iI][tT].*")
-    public String onRedditMessage() {
-        if (randomProvider.getRandomInt(10) > 6) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*[rR][eE][dD][dD][iI][tT].*" )
+    public String onRedditMessage()
+    {
+        if ( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 10 ) > 6 )
+        {
             return CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT;
         }
         return null;
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!randommeme")
-    public String onRandomMeme() {
-        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(memes);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!randommeme" )
+    public String onRandomMeme()
+    {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( memes );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!dance")
-    public String onDance() {
-        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(dances);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!dance" )
+    public String onDance()
+    {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( dances );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!chuck")
-    public String onChuckNorris() {
-        return randomProvider.getRandomElement(chucks);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!chuck" )
+    public String onChuckNorris()
+    {
+        return randomProvider.getRandomElement( chucks );
     }
 
     private static List<String> generateChucks()
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
index d9fb326f..81f8f17e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
@@ -17,7 +17,8 @@
 import java.util.Map;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class KaomojiService {
+public class KaomojiService
+{
 
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
@@ -26,42 +27,50 @@ public class KaomojiService {
     Map<String, List<String>> queryToKaomojiListMap;
 
     @PostConstruct
-    public void constructQueryToKaomojiListMap() {
+    public void constructQueryToKaomojiListMap()
+    {
         queryToKaomojiListMap = new HashMap<>();
-        try (InputStream kaomojiListResource = KaomojiService.class.getResourceAsStream("/kaomojilist.tsv")) {
-            if (kaomojiListResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("File not found");
+        try ( InputStream kaomojiListResource = KaomojiService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/kaomojilist.tsv" ) )
+        {
+            if ( kaomojiListResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "File not found" );
             }
-            new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(kaomojiListResource, StandardCharsets.UTF_8))
-                    .lines()
-                    .forEach(line -> {
-                        String[] parts = line.split("\t");
-                        String kaomoji = parts[0];
-                        String[] matchedQueries = parts[1].split(", ");
-                        for (String matchedQuery : matchedQueries) {
-                            queryToKaomojiListMap.computeIfAbsent(matchedQuery, key -> new ArrayList<>()).add(kaomoji);
-                        }
-                    });
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open wordlist file: ", e);
+            new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( kaomojiListResource,
+                                                       StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) ).lines().forEach( line -> {
+                                                           String[] parts = line.split( "\t" );
+                                                           String kaomoji = parts[0];
+                                                           String[] matchedQueries = parts[1].split( ", " );
+                                                           for ( String matchedQuery : matchedQueries )
+                                                           {
+                                                               queryToKaomojiListMap.computeIfAbsent( matchedQuery,
+                                                                                                      key -> new ArrayList<>() ).add( kaomoji );
+                                                           }
+                                                       } );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open wordlist file: ", e );
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!kaomoji @query")
-    public String getKaomoji(String query) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!kaomoji @query" )
+    public String getKaomoji( String query )
+    {
         String kaomoji = "";
         switch ( query )
         {
             case "wat":
-                return getKaomoji("confused");
+                return getKaomoji( "confused" );
             case "nsfw":
             case "wtf":
                 return "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)";
             case "vilebot":
                 return "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )";
             default:
-                if (queryToKaomojiListMap.containsKey(query.toLowerCase())) {
-                    kaomoji = randomProvider.getRandomElement(queryToKaomojiListMap.get(query.toLowerCase()));
+                if ( queryToKaomojiListMap.containsKey( query.toLowerCase() ) )
+                {
+                    kaomoji = randomProvider.getRandomElement( queryToKaomojiListMap.get( query.toLowerCase() ) );
                 }
                 break;
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
index 264b76cf..c04f6ba5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
@@ -15,8 +15,9 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class KarmaTransferService {
-    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+public class KarmaTransferService
+{
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds( 30 );
 
     @Inject
     KarmaDB karmaDB;
@@ -25,78 +26,90 @@ public class KarmaTransferService {
     TimeService timeService;
 
     private final Lock currentTransferMutex = new ReentrantLock();
+
     private Future<?> transferTimeout;
 
     private KarmaTransaction currentTransaction;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!transfer @recieverNick @transferAmount")
-    public String transferKarma( ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick recieverNick, Long transferAmount) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!transfer @recieverNick @transferAmount" )
+    public String transferKarma( ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick recieverNick, Long transferAmount )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.lock();
-            if (currentTransaction != null) {
+            if ( currentTransaction != null )
+            {
                 String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
                 String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
                 long amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
 
-                return "A transfer is already active. " + sender + " wants to transfer " + amount
-                        + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver + ", please !accept or !reject this transfer."
-                        + " You have 30 seconds to respond.";
+                return "A transfer is already active. " + sender + " wants to transfer " + amount + " karma to "
+                    + receiver + ". " + receiver + ", please !accept or !reject this transfer."
+                    + " You have 30 seconds to respond.";
             }
-            String sender = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+            String sender = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
             String receiver = recieverNick.getBaseNick();
 
             if ( sender.equals( receiver ) )
             {
-                return  "Really? What's the point of transferring karma to yourself?";
+                return "Really? What's the point of transferring karma to yourself?";
             }
 
-            Long senderKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( sender ).orElse(0L);
+            Long senderKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( sender ).orElse( 0L );
 
             if ( !validAmount( transferAmount, senderKarma ) )
             {
                 return transferAmount + " isn't a valid amount."
-                        + " Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma"
-                        + " as the amount you want to transfer.";
-            } else {
+                    + " Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma"
+                    + " as the amount you want to transfer.";
+            }
+            else
+            {
                 return startTransaction( event, sender, receiver, transferAmount );
             }
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!transfercancel")
-    public String cancelTransfer(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!transfercancel" )
+    public String cancelTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
         if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
             return null;
 
-        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String user = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
         String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
 
         if ( !sender.equals( user ) )
         {
-            return  "Only " + sender + " may cancel this transfer.";
+            return "Only " + sender + " may cancel this transfer.";
         }
 
         // Cancel transfer
-        try {
+        try
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.lock();
-            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+            transferTimeout.cancel( true );
             currentTransaction = null;
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.unlock();
         }
 
         return user + " has cancelled this transfer.";
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!accept")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!accept" )
     public String acceptTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
     {
         if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
             return null;
 
-        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String user = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
         String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
         String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
         long amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
@@ -107,29 +120,31 @@ public String acceptTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
         }
 
         // Accept transfer
-        try {
+        try
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.lock();
-            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+            transferTimeout.cancel( true );
 
             karmaDB.modNounKarma( receiver, amount );
             karmaDB.modNounKarma( sender, -1 * amount );
 
             currentTransaction = null;
 
-            return "Transfer success! " + sender + " has transferred " + amount + " karma to " + receiver
-                + "!";
-        } finally {
+            return "Transfer success! " + sender + " has transferred " + amount + " karma to " + receiver + "!";
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!reject")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!reject" )
     public String rejectTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
     {
         if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
             return null;
 
-        String user = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+        String user = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
         String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
         String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
 
@@ -142,10 +157,12 @@ public String rejectTransfer( ChannelMessageEvent event )
         try
         {
             currentTransferMutex.lock();
-            transferTimeout.cancel(true);
+            transferTimeout.cancel( true );
             currentTransaction = null;
             return user + " has rejected " + sender + "'s transfer.";
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             currentTransferMutex.unlock();
         }
     }
@@ -158,18 +175,21 @@ private boolean validAmount( long transferAmount, long senderKarma )
     private String startTransaction( ChannelMessageEvent event, String sender, String receiver, long transferAmount )
     {
         currentTransaction = new KarmaTransaction( sender, receiver, transferAmount );
-        transferTimeout = timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
-            try {
+        transferTimeout = timeService.onTimeout( TIMEOUT, () -> {
+            try
+            {
                 currentTransferMutex.lock();
                 event.sendReply( "Transfer failed. No response was received within 30 seconds." );
                 currentTransaction = null;
                 transferTimeout = null;
-            } finally {
+            }
+            finally
+            {
                 currentTransferMutex.unlock();
             }
-        });
+        } );
         return sender + " wants to transfer " + transferAmount + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver
-                + ", please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond.";
+            + ", please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond.";
     }
 
     private boolean reportHasCurrentTransaction( ChannelMessageEvent event )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
index 6bac1fad..05f54bf8 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
@@ -12,7 +12,8 @@
 import java.util.regex.Pattern;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class LastMessageSedService {
+public class LastMessageSedService
+{
     /**
      * Map with String key of IRC nick, to String value of the last line of text.
      */
@@ -24,13 +25,15 @@ public class LastMessageSedService {
      * slash, a user can write another user's name in order to modify that user's message.
      */
     private static final Pattern replacePattern =
-            Pattern.compile( "^s(\\p{Punct})((?!\\1).+?)\\1((?!\\1).+?)(?:\\1(g|)(?:\\s+(\\S+)\\s*|)|)$" );
+        Pattern.compile( "^s(\\p{Punct})((?!\\1).+?)\\1((?!\\1).+?)(?:\\1(g|)(?:\\s+(\\S+)\\s*|)|)$" );
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("@message")
-    public String onMessage(User user, String message){
-        Matcher sedMatcher = replacePattern.matcher(message);
-        String nick = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
-        if (sedMatcher.matches()) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "@message" )
+    public String onMessage( User user, String message )
+    {
+        Matcher sedMatcher = replacePattern.matcher( message );
+        String nick = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        if ( sedMatcher.matches() )
+        {
             String correction = "Correction: ";
 
             // If the last group of the regex captures a non-null string, the user is fixing another user's message.
@@ -59,8 +62,8 @@ public String onMessage(User user, String message){
 
                     String replacementWHL = Colors.bold( replacement );
 
-                    BiFunction<String,String,String>
-                            replaceFunction = ("g".equals( endFlag ))? lastMessage::replaceAll : lastMessage::replaceFirst;
+                    BiFunction<String, String, String> replaceFunction =
+                        ( "g".equals( endFlag ) ) ? lastMessage::replaceAll : lastMessage::replaceFirst;
                     replacedMsg = replaceFunction.apply( regexp, replacement );
                     replacedMsgWHL = replaceFunction.apply( regexp, replacementWHL );
 
@@ -69,8 +72,10 @@ public String onMessage(User user, String message){
                 }
             }
             return null;
-        } else {
-            lastMessageMapByNick.put(nick, message);
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            lastMessageMapByNick.put( nick, message );
             return null;
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
index bf36ed6e..909a6480 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
@@ -20,9 +20,11 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class LastSeenService {
+public class LastSeenService
+{
 
     private static TimeZone timeZone = TimeZone.getTimeZone( "America/Toronto" );
+
     private static DateTimeFormatter dateFormatter = makeDateFormat();
 
     @Inject
@@ -32,23 +34,27 @@ public class LastSeenService {
     TimeService timeService;
 
     @Handler
-    @SuppressWarnings("unchecked")
-    public void updateLastSeenTime(ActorEvent<?> event) {
+    @SuppressWarnings( "unchecked" )
+    public void updateLastSeenTime( ActorEvent<?> event )
+    {
         // generic infomation is hidden; need to check if the
         // event is for a User
-        if (event.getActor() instanceof User) {
-            String joiner = Nick.getNick((ActorEvent<User>) event).getBaseNick();
-            lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime(joiner);
+        if ( event.getActor() instanceof User )
+        {
+            String joiner = Nick.getNick( (ActorEvent<User>) event ).getBaseNick();
+            lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime( joiner );
         }
     }
 
     @Handler
-    public String onJoin(ChannelJoinEvent event) {
-        String joiner = Nick.getNick(event).getBaseNick();
+    public String onJoin( ChannelJoinEvent event )
+    {
+        String joiner = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
         Optional<Long> maybeLastSeen = lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( joiner );
 
-        lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime(joiner);
-        if (maybeLastSeen.isEmpty()) {
+        lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime( joiner );
+        if ( maybeLastSeen.isEmpty() )
+        {
             return null;
         }
 
@@ -61,9 +67,9 @@ public String onJoin(ChannelJoinEvent event) {
         if ( daysAgo > 30 )
         {
             return "Hi " + joiner + "! I last saw you " + daysAgo + " days ago at "
-                    + OffsetDateTime.ofInstant(Instant.ofEpochMilli(lastSeen),
-                        timeZone.toZoneId().getRules().getOffset(Instant.ofEpochMilli(lastSeen)))
-                    .format(dateFormatter)+ ". Long time, no see.";
+                + OffsetDateTime.ofInstant( Instant.ofEpochMilli( lastSeen ),
+                                            timeZone.toZoneId().getRules().getOffset( Instant.ofEpochMilli( lastSeen ) ) ).format( dateFormatter )
+                + ". Long time, no see.";
         }
         return null;
     }
@@ -72,6 +78,6 @@ private static DateTimeFormatter makeDateFormat()
     {
         SimpleDateFormat df = new SimpleDateFormat( "yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" );
         df.setTimeZone( timeZone );
-        return DateTimeFormatter.ofPattern("yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" ).withZone(timeZone.toZoneId());
+        return DateTimeFormatter.ofPattern( "yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" ).withZone( timeZone.toZoneId() );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
index e7873a00..02aabdd4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
@@ -16,7 +16,8 @@
  * Created by emmett on 12/08/15.
  */
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class MarkovService {
+public class MarkovService
+{
 
     @Inject
     LogDB logDB;
@@ -24,49 +25,59 @@ public class MarkovService {
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
-    @OnMessage("!speak")
-    public String speak() {
+    @OnMessage( "!speak" )
+    public String speak()
+    {
         return generatePhase();
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!gospel")
-    public String gospel() {
-        return Zalgo.generate(generatePhase());
+    @OnMessage( "!gospel" )
+    public String gospel()
+    {
+        return Zalgo.generate( generatePhase() );
     }
 
-    private String generatePhase() {
+    private String generatePhase()
+    {
         Map<String, List<String>> markovMatrix = getMarkovMatrix();
-        List<String> keyList = new ArrayList<>(markovMatrix.keySet());
-        String key = randomProvider.getRandomElement(keyList);
+        List<String> keyList = new ArrayList<>( markovMatrix.keySet() );
+        String key = randomProvider.getRandomElement( keyList );
         StringBuilder phrase = new StringBuilder();
-        while (key != null && phrase.length() < 1000) {
+        while ( key != null && phrase.length() < 1000 )
+        {
             phrase.append( key ).append( " " );
-            if (shouldEnd(key)) {
+            if ( shouldEnd( key ) )
+            {
                 break;
             }
-            List<String> afterKeyList = markovMatrix.get(key);
-            if (afterKeyList == null) {
+            List<String> afterKeyList = markovMatrix.get( key );
+            if ( afterKeyList == null )
+            {
                 break;
             }
-            key = randomProvider.getRandomElement(afterKeyList);
+            key = randomProvider.getRandomElement( afterKeyList );
         }
-        return phrase.toString().replace('\n', ' ');
+        return phrase.toString().replace( '\n', ' ' );
     }
 
-    private boolean shouldEnd(String key) {
+    private boolean shouldEnd( String key )
+    {
         return key.endsWith( "!" ) || key.endsWith( "?" ) || key.endsWith( "." );
     }
 
-    private Map<String, List<String>> getMarkovMatrix() {
+    private Map<String, List<String>> getMarkovMatrix()
+    {
         Map<String, List<String>> markovMatrix = new HashMap<>();
-        String[] words = logDB.getLog().split("\\s");
-        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length - 3; i++ ) {
+        String[] words = logDB.getLog().split( "\\s" );
+        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length - 3; i++ )
+        {
             String key = words[i] + " " + words[i + 1];
             String value = words[i + 2] + " " + words[i + 3];
-            if (key.equals(value)) {
+            if ( key.equals( value ) )
+            {
                 continue;
             }
-            markovMatrix.computeIfAbsent(key, k -> new ArrayList<>()).add(value);
+            markovMatrix.computeIfAbsent( key, k -> new ArrayList<>() ).add( value );
         }
         return markovMatrix;
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
index 512f67fa..5cd69d90 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
@@ -26,7 +26,8 @@
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class NewsService {
+public class NewsService
+{
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
@@ -37,218 +38,170 @@ public class NewsService {
     LimitService fakeNewsLimit;
 
     Map<String, NewsChannel> fakeNewsFeedsByCategory = new LinkedHashMap<>();
+
     Map<String, NewsChannel> newsFeedsByCategory = new LinkedHashMap<>();
 
     private static final String DEFAULT_NEWS_CATEGORY = "toronto";
+
     private static final String DEFAULT_FAKE_NEWS_CATEGORY = "canada";
+
     int NUM_HEADLINES = 3;
-    
-    private NewsChannel getNewsChannel(String genre, String url) {
-        try {
-            return new NewsChannel(genre, urlFactory.build(url));
-        } catch (MalformedURLException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to build url (" + url + "):", e);
+
+    private NewsChannel getNewsChannel( String genre, String url )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return new NewsChannel( genre, urlFactory.build( url ) );
+        }
+        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to build url (" + url + "):", e );
         }
     }
-    
+
     @PostConstruct
-    public void setupMaps() {
+    public void setupMaps()
+    {
         buildNewsFeedsByCategory();
         buildFakeNewsFeedsByCategory();
     }
-    
-    private void buildFakeNewsFeedsByCategory() {
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
-                         "https://www.thebeaverton.com/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa", getNewsChannel( "Countries",
-                 "https://www.theonion.com/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "belgium",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://nordpresse.be/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "france",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "http://www.legorafi.fr/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "india", getNewsChannel( "Countries",
-                 "http://www.fakingnews.com/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "russia",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://fognews.ru/rss" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "serbia",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",  "https://www.njuz.net/rss" ) );
+
+    private void buildFakeNewsFeedsByCategory()
+    {
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "https://www.thebeaverton.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "https://www.theonion.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "belgium", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "https://nordpresse.be/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "france", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "http://www.legorafi.fr/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "india", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "http://www.fakingnews.com/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "russia", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "https://fognews.ru/rss" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "serbia", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "https://www.njuz.net/rss" ) );
         fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "venezuela",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
-                         "http://feeds.feedburner.com/elchiguirebipolar" ) );
-        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "newzealand",
-                getNewsChannel( "Countries",
-                         "http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/rss" ) );
+                                     getNewsChannel( "Countries", "http://feeds.feedburner.com/elchiguirebipolar" ) );
+        fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "newzealand", getNewsChannel( "Countries", "http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/rss" ) );
     }
-    
-    private void buildNewsFeedsByCategory() {
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "top",
-                getNewsChannel( "General", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/topstories.xml" ) );
+
+    private void buildNewsFeedsByCategory()
+    {
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "top", getNewsChannel( "General", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/topstories.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "world",
-                getNewsChannel( "General",
-                        "https://news.google.com/news/rss/headlines/section/topic/WORLD?ned=us&hl=en" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
-                getNewsChannel( "General",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa",
-                getNewsChannel( "General",
-                         "http://feeds.reuters.com/Reuters/domesticNews" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "britain",
-                getNewsChannel( "General",
-                         "http://feeds.bbci.co.uk/news/uk/rss.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "General",
+                                                 "https://news.google.com/news/rss/headlines/section/topic/WORLD?ned=us&hl=en" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada", getNewsChannel( "General", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa", getNewsChannel( "General", "http://feeds.reuters.com/Reuters/domesticNews" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "britain", getNewsChannel( "General", "http://feeds.bbci.co.uk/news/uk/rss.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "redhat",
-                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
-                         "https://www.redhat.com/en/rss/blog/channel/red-hat-news" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "fedora", getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
-                 "http://fedoraplanet.org/rss20.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
+                                                 "https://www.redhat.com/en/rss/blog/channel/red-hat-news" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "fedora", getNewsChannel( "Open Source", "http://fedoraplanet.org/rss20.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "openshift",
-                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",
-                         "https://blog.openshift.com/category/news/rss" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "opensource",
-                getNewsChannel( "Open Source",  "https://opensource.com/feed" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "politics",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/politics.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "business",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/business.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "health",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/health.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "arts",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",  "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/arts.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "tech",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/technology.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "offbeat",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/offbeat.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Open Source", "https://blog.openshift.com/category/news/rss" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "opensource", getNewsChannel( "Open Source", "https://opensource.com/feed" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "politics", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/politics.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "business", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/business.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "health", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/health.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "arts", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/arts.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "tech", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/technology.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "offbeat", getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/offbeat.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "indigenous",
-                getNewsChannel( "Topics",
-                         "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-cbcaboriginal" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sports",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "mlb",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-mlb.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nba",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nba.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "cfl",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-cfl.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nfl",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nfl.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nhl",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nhl.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "soccer",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-soccer.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Topics", "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-cbcaboriginal" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sports", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "mlb", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-mlb.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nba", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nba.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "cfl", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-cfl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nfl", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nfl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nhl", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nhl.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "soccer", getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-soccer.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "curling",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-curling.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-curling.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "skating",
-                getNewsChannel( "Sports",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-figureskating.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Sports", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-figureskating.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "bc",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-britishcolumbia.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-britishcolumbia.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "kamloops",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kamloops.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kamloops.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "calgary",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-calgary.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-calgary.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "edmonton",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-edmonton.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-edmonton.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatchewan",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatchewan.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatchewan.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatoon",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatoon.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatoon.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "manitoba",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-manitoba.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-manitoba.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "thunderbay",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-thunderbay.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-thunderbay.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sudbury",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-sudbury.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-sudbury.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "windsor",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-windsor.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-windsor.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "london",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-canada-london" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-canada-london" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "waterloo",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kitchenerwaterloo.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional",
+                                                 "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kitchenerwaterloo.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "toronto",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-toronto.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-toronto.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "hamilton",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-hamiltonnews.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-hamiltonnews.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "montreal",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-montreal.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-montreal.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newbrunswick",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newbrunswick.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "pei",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-pei.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newbrunswick.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "pei", getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-pei.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "novascotia",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-novascotia.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-novascotia.xml" ) );
         newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newfoundland",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newfoundland.xml" ) );
-        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "north",
-                getNewsChannel( "Regional",
-                         "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-north.xml" ) );
+                                 getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newfoundland.xml" ) );
+        newsFeedsByCategory.put( "north", getNewsChannel( "Regional", "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-north.xml" ) );
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!news ?@category")
-    public String getNews(User user, Optional<String> category) {
-        return getHeadlines(user, newsLimit, newsFeedsByCategory, category.orElse(DEFAULT_NEWS_CATEGORY));
+    @OnMessage( "!news ?@category" )
+    public String getNews( User user, Optional<String> category )
+    {
+        return getHeadlines( user, newsLimit, newsFeedsByCategory, category.orElse( DEFAULT_NEWS_CATEGORY ) );
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!news help")
-    public void newsHelp(User user) {
-        for (String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage("News Categories (example: !news toronto):", newsFeedsByCategory)
-                .split("\n")) {
-            user.sendMessage(helpMessagePart);
+    @OnMessage( "!news help" )
+    public void newsHelp( User user )
+    {
+        for ( String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage( "News Categories (example: !news toronto):",
+                                                            newsFeedsByCategory ).split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( helpMessagePart );
         }
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!fakenews ?@category")
-    public String getFakeNews(User user, Optional<String> category) {
-        return getHeadlines(user, fakeNewsLimit, fakeNewsFeedsByCategory, category.orElse(DEFAULT_FAKE_NEWS_CATEGORY));
+    @OnMessage( "!fakenews ?@category" )
+    public String getFakeNews( User user, Optional<String> category )
+    {
+        return getHeadlines( user, fakeNewsLimit, fakeNewsFeedsByCategory,
+                             category.orElse( DEFAULT_FAKE_NEWS_CATEGORY ) );
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!fakenews help")
-    public void fakeNewsHelp(User user) {
-        for (String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage("Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):", fakeNewsFeedsByCategory)
-                .split("\n")) {
-            user.sendMessage(helpMessagePart);
+    @OnMessage( "!fakenews help" )
+    public void fakeNewsHelp( User user )
+    {
+        for ( String helpMessagePart : generateHelpMessage( "Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):",
+                                                            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory ).split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( helpMessagePart );
         }
     }
 
-    protected String getHeadlines(User user, LimitService limit, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory, String category)
+    protected String getHeadlines( User user, LimitService limit, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory,
+                                   String category )
     {
-        if (!feedsByCategory.containsKey(category)) {
+        if ( !feedsByCategory.containsKey( category ) )
+        {
             return null;
         }
-        try {
-            limit.addUse(user);
-        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+        try
+        {
+            limit.addUse( user );
+        }
+        catch ( LimitExceededException e )
+        {
             return e.getMessage();
         }
         SyndFeedInput input = new SyndFeedInput();
@@ -261,18 +214,15 @@ protected String getHeadlines(User user, LimitService limit, Map<String, NewsCha
         catch ( FeedException | IOException e )
         {
             e.printStackTrace();
-            return  "Error opening RSS feed";
+            return "Error opening RSS feed";
         }
 
         List<SyndEntry> entries = feed.getEntries();
-        return entries.stream()
-                .map(entry -> Colors.bold( "  " + entry.getTitle() ) + " -> "
-                        + entry.getLink())
-                .limit(NUM_HEADLINES)
-                .collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
+        return entries.stream().map( entry -> Colors.bold( "  " + entry.getTitle() ) + " -> "
+            + entry.getLink() ).limit( NUM_HEADLINES ).collect( Collectors.joining( "\n" ) );
     }
 
-    protected String generateHelpMessage(String intro, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory)
+    protected String generateHelpMessage( String intro, Map<String, NewsChannel> feedsByCategory )
     {
         StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
 
@@ -297,28 +247,33 @@ protected String generateHelpMessage(String intro, Map<String, NewsChannel> feed
         return sb.toString();
     }
 
-    private static class NewsChannel {
+    private static class NewsChannel
+    {
         final String genre;
+
         final URL url;
 
-        public NewsChannel(String genre, URL url) {
+        public NewsChannel( String genre, URL url )
+        {
             this.genre = genre;
             this.url = url;
         }
 
         @Override
-        public boolean equals(Object o) {
-            if (this == o)
+        public boolean equals( Object o )
+        {
+            if ( this == o )
                 return true;
-            if (o == null || getClass() != o.getClass())
+            if ( o == null || getClass() != o.getClass() )
                 return false;
             NewsChannel that = (NewsChannel) o;
-            return genre.equals(that.genre) && url.equals(that.url);
+            return genre.equals( that.genre ) && url.equals( that.url );
         }
 
         @Override
-        public int hashCode() {
-            return Objects.hash(genre, url);
+        public int hashCode()
+        {
+            return Objects.hash( genre, url );
         }
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
index 41d3bb2b..89be3a37 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
@@ -32,9 +32,10 @@
 /**
  * Based off of the omgword game from CasinoBot: http://casinobot.codeplex.com/
  */
-@Bot("OmgwordBot")
+@Bot( "OmgwordBot" )
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class OmgwordService {
+public class OmgwordService
+{
 
     final static String OMGWORD_CHANNEL = "${vilebot.omgword.channel}";
 
@@ -48,68 +49,89 @@ public class OmgwordService {
     KarmaDB karmaDB;
 
     List<String> wordList;
+
     Map<AnagramKey, Set<String>> anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap;
 
     OmgwordGame currentGame;
+
     Lock lock = new ReentrantLock();
 
     @PostConstruct
-    void buildAnagramKeyToAnswerSetMap() {
+    void buildAnagramKeyToAnswerSetMap()
+    {
         anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap = new HashMap<>();
-        try (InputStream wordListResource = OmgwordService.class.getResourceAsStream("/wordlist.txt")) {
-            if (wordListResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("File not found");
+        try ( InputStream wordListResource = OmgwordService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/wordlist.txt" ) )
+        {
+            if ( wordListResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "File not found" );
             }
-            wordList = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(wordListResource, StandardCharsets.UTF_8))
-                    .lines()
-                    .collect(Collectors.toList());
-
-            for (String word : wordList) {
-                anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.computeIfAbsent(new AnagramKey(word),
-                        (key) -> new HashSet<>()).add(word);
+            wordList =
+                new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( wordListResource,
+                                                           StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) ).lines().collect( Collectors.toList() );
+
+            for ( String word : wordList )
+            {
+                anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.computeIfAbsent( new AnagramKey( word ),
+                                                          ( key ) -> new HashSet<>() ).add( word );
             }
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open wordlist file: ", e);
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open wordlist file: ", e );
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!omgword", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL)
-    public String startGame(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "!omgword", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL )
+    public String startGame( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             lock.lock();
-            if (currentGame != null) {
+            if ( currentGame != null )
+            {
                 return currentGame.getAlreadyPlayingString();
             }
-            currentGame = new OmgwordGame(event);
+            currentGame = new OmgwordGame( event );
             return currentGame.getIntroString();
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             lock.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!answer @answer", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL)
-    public String onAnswer(User answerer, String answer) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "!answer @answer", channel = OMGWORD_CHANNEL )
+    public String onAnswer( User answerer, String answer )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             lock.lock();
 
-            if (currentGame == null) {
+            if ( currentGame == null )
+            {
                 return "No active game. Start a new one with !omgword";
             }
 
-            Nick answererNick = Nick.getNick(answerer);
-            if (currentGame.isCorrect(answer)) {
+            Nick answererNick = Nick.getNick( answerer );
+            if ( currentGame.isCorrect( answer ) )
+            {
                 String out = String.format( "Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answererNick.getFullNick(),
-                        currentGame.getStakes() );
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answererNick.getBaseNick(), currentGame.getStakes());
+                                            currentGame.getStakes() );
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( answererNick.getBaseNick(), currentGame.getStakes() );
                 currentGame.cancelTimeout();
                 currentGame = null;
                 return out;
-            } else {
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answererNick.getBaseNick(), -currentGame.getStakes());
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( answererNick.getBaseNick(), -currentGame.getStakes() );
                 return String.format( "Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answererNick.getFullNick(),
-                        currentGame.getStakes() );
+                                      currentGame.getStakes() );
             }
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             lock.unlock();
         }
     }
@@ -117,31 +139,39 @@ public String onAnswer(User answerer, String answer) {
     private class OmgwordGame
     {
         AnagramKey anagramKey;
+
         String scrambled;
+
         Future<?> timeoutHandler;
 
-        public OmgwordGame(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
-            String word = randomProvider.getRandomElement(wordList);
-            anagramKey = new AnagramKey(word);
+        public OmgwordGame( ChannelMessageEvent event )
+        {
+            String word = randomProvider.getRandomElement( wordList );
+            anagramKey = new AnagramKey( word );
             scrambled = word;
 
-            while ( anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey).contains(scrambled) ) {
-                scrambled = scrambleWord(scrambled);
+            while ( anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get( anagramKey ).contains( scrambled ) )
+            {
+                scrambled = scrambleWord( scrambled );
             }
 
-            timeoutHandler = timeService.onTimeout(Duration.ofSeconds(30), () -> {
-                try {
+            timeoutHandler = timeService.onTimeout( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ), () -> {
+                try
+                {
                     lock.lock();
-                    event.sendReply(getTimeoutString());
+                    event.sendReply( getTimeoutString() );
                     currentGame = null;
-                } finally {
+                }
+                finally
+                {
                     lock.unlock();
                 }
-            });
+            } );
         }
 
-        public void cancelTimeout() {
-            timeoutHandler.cancel(true);
+        public void cancelTimeout()
+        {
+            timeoutHandler.cancel( true );
         }
 
         String getAlreadyPlayingString()
@@ -151,20 +181,20 @@ String getAlreadyPlayingString()
 
         String getIntroString()
         {
-            return "Welcome to omgword!\nFor " + getStakes() + " karma:\n" + scrambled +
-                    "\n30 seconds on the clock.";
+            return "Welcome to omgword!\nFor " + getStakes() + " karma:\n" + scrambled + "\n30 seconds on the clock.";
         }
 
         boolean isCorrect( String answer )
         {
-            return anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey).contains(answer);
+            return anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get( anagramKey ).contains( answer );
         }
 
         String getTimeoutString()
         {
-            Set<String> possibleAnswers = anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey);
-            String answerPlural = possibleAnswers.size() == 1? "answer was: " : "answers were: ";
-            return "Game over! The correct " + answerPlural + String.join(", ", anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get(anagramKey));
+            Set<String> possibleAnswers = anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get( anagramKey );
+            String answerPlural = possibleAnswers.size() == 1 ? "answer was: " : "answers were: ";
+            return "Game over! The correct " + answerPlural
+                + String.join( ", ", anagramKeyToAnswerSetMap.get( anagramKey ) );
         }
 
         int getStakes()
@@ -172,47 +202,50 @@ int getStakes()
             return (int) Math.ceil( scrambled.length() >> 1 );
         }
 
-        public String scrambleWord(String word) {
+        public String scrambleWord( String word )
+        {
             StringBuilder newWord = new StringBuilder();
-            StringBuilder remaining = new StringBuilder(word);
-            for (int i = 0; i < word.length(); i++) {
-                int pickedCharIndex = randomProvider.getRandomInt(remaining.length());
-                newWord.append(remaining.charAt(pickedCharIndex));
-                remaining.deleteCharAt(pickedCharIndex);
+            StringBuilder remaining = new StringBuilder( word );
+            for ( int i = 0; i < word.length(); i++ )
+            {
+                int pickedCharIndex = randomProvider.getRandomInt( remaining.length() );
+                newWord.append( remaining.charAt( pickedCharIndex ) );
+                remaining.deleteCharAt( pickedCharIndex );
             }
             return newWord.toString();
         }
     }
 
-    public static final class AnagramKey {
+    public static final class AnagramKey
+    {
         final String lettersSorted;
 
-        public AnagramKey(String word) {
-            lettersSorted = word.chars()
-                .sorted()
-                .collect(StringBuilder::new,
-                         StringBuilder::appendCodePoint,
-                         StringBuilder::append)
-                .toString();
+        public AnagramKey( String word )
+        {
+            lettersSorted = word.chars().sorted().collect( StringBuilder::new, StringBuilder::appendCodePoint,
+                                                           StringBuilder::append ).toString();
         }
 
-        public String getLettersSorted() {
+        public String getLettersSorted()
+        {
             return lettersSorted;
         }
 
         @Override
-        public boolean equals(Object o) {
-            if (this == o)
+        public boolean equals( Object o )
+        {
+            if ( this == o )
                 return true;
-            if (o == null || getClass() != o.getClass())
+            if ( o == null || getClass() != o.getClass() )
                 return false;
             AnagramKey that = (AnagramKey) o;
-            return Objects.equals(lettersSorted, that.lettersSorted);
+            return Objects.equals( lettersSorted, that.lettersSorted );
         }
 
         @Override
-        public int hashCode() {
-            return Objects.hash(lettersSorted);
+        public int hashCode()
+        {
+            return Objects.hash( lettersSorted );
         }
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
index 18ba380a..8d35b3ca 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
@@ -13,7 +13,8 @@
 import java.util.Map;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class RemindMeService {
+public class RemindMeService
+{
 
     @Inject
     TimeService timeService;
@@ -22,43 +23,51 @@ public class RemindMeService {
 
     Map<String, Integer> userToReminderCount = new HashMap<>();
 
-    @OnMessage("!remindme @message @length ?@timeUnit")
-    public String remindMe(User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex("\\S") String timeUnit) {
+    @OnMessage( "!remindme @message @length ?@timeUnit" )
+    public String remindMe( User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex( "\\S" ) String timeUnit )
+    {
         Duration duration;
-        switch (timeUnit) {
-            case "d": case "D":
-                duration = Duration.ofDays(length);
+        switch ( timeUnit )
+        {
+            case "d":
+            case "D":
+                duration = Duration.ofDays( length );
                 break;
-            case "h": case "H":
-                duration = Duration.ofHours(length);
+            case "h":
+            case "H":
+                duration = Duration.ofHours( length );
                 break;
-            case "m": case "M":
-                duration = Duration.ofMinutes(length);
+            case "m":
+            case "M":
+                duration = Duration.ofMinutes( length );
                 break;
-            case "s": case "S":
-                duration = Duration.ofSeconds(length);
+            case "s":
+            case "S":
+                duration = Duration.ofSeconds( length );
                 break;
             default:
-                return  BAD_TIME_UNIT;
+                return BAD_TIME_UNIT;
         }
 
-        final String userKey = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
-        if (userToReminderCount.getOrDefault(userKey, 0) > 10) {
+        final String userKey = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        if ( userToReminderCount.getOrDefault( userKey, 0 ) > 10 )
+        {
             return "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one.";
         }
 
         // TODO: Persist this in the database in case VileBot is restarted?
-        userToReminderCount.merge(userKey, 1, Integer::sum);
-        timeService.onTimeout(duration, () -> {
-            user.sendMessage("This is your reminder that you should: " + message);
-            userToReminderCount.computeIfPresent(userKey, (key, currentCount) -> {
-                if (currentCount == 1) {
+        userToReminderCount.merge( userKey, 1, Integer::sum );
+        timeService.onTimeout( duration, () -> {
+            user.sendMessage( "This is your reminder that you should: " + message );
+            userToReminderCount.computeIfPresent( userKey, ( key, currentCount ) -> {
+                if ( currentCount == 1 )
+                {
                     return null;
                 }
                 return currentCount - 1;
-            });
-        });
+            } );
+        } );
 
-        return "Created reminder for " +  timeService.getCurrentDateTime().plus(duration).toString();
+        return "Created reminder for " + timeService.getCurrentDateTime().plus( duration ).toString();
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
index d68bf38f..f9ad5e7c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
@@ -22,7 +22,8 @@
  * implementation based off of Trivia.java
  */
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class RockPaperScissorsService {
+public class RockPaperScissorsService
+{
 
     private static final String RED = "\u000304";
 
@@ -36,21 +37,27 @@ public class RockPaperScissorsService {
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
+
     RPSGame currentGame;
 
-    @OnMessage("!rpsrules")
-    public void requestRules(ActorEvent<User> event) {
-        for (String message : getRules(event).split("\n")) {
-            event.getActor().sendMessage(message);
+    @OnMessage( "!rpsrules" )
+    public void requestRules( ActorEvent<User> event )
+    {
+        for ( String message : getRules( event ).split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            event.getActor().sendMessage( message );
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!rpscancel")
-    public String cancelGame(User user) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!rpscancel" )
+    public String cancelGame( User user )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             gameLock.lock();
-            if (null != currentGame) {
-                String caller = Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick();
+            if ( null != currentGame )
+            {
+                String caller = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
                 if ( caller.equals( currentGame.getCaller() ) || caller.equals( currentGame.getDared() ) )
                 {
                     currentGame = null;
@@ -59,50 +66,62 @@ public String cancelGame(User user) {
                 else
                 {
                     return "Only " + currentGame.getCaller() + " or " + currentGame.getDared()
-                            + " can cancel this game.";
+                        + " can cancel this game.";
                 }
-            } else {
+            }
+            else
+            {
                 return "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared";
             }
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             gameLock.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!rps @dared ?@daredThing")
-    public String startRpsGame(ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick dared, Optional<String> daredThing) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!rps @dared ?@daredThing" )
+    public String startRpsGame( ChannelMessageEvent event, Nick dared, Optional<String> daredThing )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             gameLock.lock();
-            if (currentGame == null) {
+            if ( currentGame == null )
+            {
                 String caller = Nick.getNick( event ).getBaseNick();
                 if ( caller.equals( dared.getBaseNick() ) )
                 {
                     return "You cannot challenge yourself to a Rock Paper Scissors game!";
                 }
-                if (daredThing.isPresent())
+                if ( daredThing.isPresent() )
                 {
-                    currentGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), daredThing.get().trim(), event,
-                            randomProvider);
+                    currentGame =
+                        new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), daredThing.get().trim(), event, randomProvider );
                 }
                 else
                 {
-                    currentGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), null, event,
-                            randomProvider );
+                    currentGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared.getBaseNick(), null, event, randomProvider );
                 }
                 return currentGame.getRPSIntro() + getSubmissionRuleString( event );
-            } else {
+            }
+            else
+            {
                 return currentGame.alreadyPlaying();
             }
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             gameLock.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnPrivateMessage("!@submission")
-    public String onContestantAnswer(User contestantUser, @Regex("rock|paper|scissors") String submission) {
-        try {
+    @OnPrivateMessage( "!@submission" )
+    public String onContestantAnswer( User contestantUser, @Regex( "rock|paper|scissors" ) String submission )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             gameLock.lock();
-            String contestant = Nick.getNick(contestantUser).getBaseNick();
+            String contestant = Nick.getNick( contestantUser ).getBaseNick();
             if ( currentGame != null )
             {
                 try
@@ -125,7 +144,9 @@ public String onContestantAnswer(User contestantUser, @Regex("rock|paper|scissor
             {
                 return "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared [bet]";
             }
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             gameLock.unlock();
         }
     }
@@ -133,17 +154,18 @@ public String onContestantAnswer(User contestantUser, @Regex("rock|paper|scissor
     private String getRules( ActorEvent<?> event )
     {
         return RED + "RPS RULES: \n" + RESET + "1) Dare someone to play rock paper scissors with you! \n" + RESET
-                + "2) Rock beats scissors, paper beats rocks, and scissors beat paper \n" + "3) Use /msg "
-                + event.getClient().getNick() + " !(rock|paper|scissors) to set your action. Cannot be undone.";
+            + "2) Rock beats scissors, paper beats rocks, and scissors beat paper \n" + "3) Use /msg "
+            + event.getClient().getNick() + " !(rock|paper|scissors) to set your action. Cannot be undone.";
     }
 
     private String getSubmissionRuleString( ActorEvent<?> event )
     {
-        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + event.getClient().getNick() + RED + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
-                + RESET;
+        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + event.getClient().getNick() + RED
+            + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit." + RESET;
     }
 
-    private static class RPSGame {
+    private static class RPSGame
+    {
         private static final String[] answers = { "rock", "paper", "scissors" };
 
         private String callerNick;
@@ -172,7 +194,7 @@ private static class RPSGame {
             rand = new Random();
             if ( daredNick.equals( event.getClient().getNick() ) )
             {
-                this.daredAnswer = randomProvider.getRandomElement(answers);
+                this.daredAnswer = randomProvider.getRandomElement( answers );
             }
         }
 
@@ -204,7 +226,7 @@ private String getRPSIntro()
         private String getRPSOutro()
         {
             String start =
-                    RED + callerNick + " used " + callerAnswer + ", " + daredNick + " used " + daredAnswer + ", ";
+                RED + callerNick + " used " + callerAnswer + ", " + daredNick + " used " + daredAnswer + ", ";
             if ( null != getWinner() )
             {
                 return start + getWinner() + " wins" + ( ( null != daredThing ) ? " " + daredThing : "" ) + "!";
@@ -218,7 +240,7 @@ private String alreadyPlaying()
         }
 
         private boolean setSubmission( String contestant, String answer )
-                throws Exception
+            throws Exception
         {
             if ( contestant.equals( callerNick ) )
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
index 9f210239..b3c8af7e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
@@ -11,25 +11,29 @@
 import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class SummonService {
+public class SummonService
+{
 
     @Inject
     LimitService limitService;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!summon @nick")
-    public String summonNick(ChannelMessageEvent event, String nick) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!summon @nick" )
+    public String summonNick( ChannelMessageEvent event, String nick )
+    {
         Channel channel = event.getChannel();
-        if (channel.getUsers().stream().anyMatch(user ->
-                Nick.valueOf(nick).getBaseNick().equals(Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick()))) {
+        if ( channel.getUsers().stream().anyMatch( user -> Nick.valueOf( nick ).getBaseNick().equals( Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick() ) ) )
+        {
             return nick + " is already in the channel.";
         }
-        try {
-            limitService.addUse(event.getActor());
-            event.getClient().sendMessage(nick, "You are summoned by " +
-                    Nick.getNick(event.getActor()).getBaseNick() + " to join " +
-                    event.getChannel().getMessagingName());
+        try
+        {
+            limitService.addUse( event.getActor() );
+            event.getClient().sendMessage( nick, "You are summoned by " + Nick.getNick( event.getActor() ).getBaseNick()
+                + " to join " + event.getChannel().getMessagingName() );
             return nick + " was invited";
-        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+        }
+        catch ( LimitExceededException e )
+        {
             return e.getMessage();
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
index 23f8b4d2..308a751c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
@@ -23,11 +23,12 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-@Bot("JeoBot1")
-public class TriviaService {
+@Bot( "JeoBot1" )
+public class TriviaService
+{
     final static String JEOPARDY_CHANNEL = "${vilebot.jeopardy.channel}";
 
-    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds( 30 );
 
     private static final String RED = "\u000304";
 
@@ -52,95 +53,122 @@ public class TriviaService {
     ObjectMapper objectMapper;
 
     TriviaGame game = null;
+
     TriviaQuestions triviaQuestions = null;
+
     Future<?> timeoutFuture;
+
     Lock gameLock = new ReentrantLock();
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!jeopardy", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL)
-    public String startGame(ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "!jeopardy", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL )
+    public String startGame( ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             gameLock.lock();
-            if (game != null) {
-                return String.join("\n", game.getAlreadyPlayingString());
+            if ( game != null )
+            {
+                return String.join( "\n", game.getAlreadyPlayingString() );
             }
             int tries = 0;
-            while (tries < RECURSION_LIMIT && (triviaQuestions == null || triviaQuestions.isEmpty())) {
-                triviaQuestions = new TriviaQuestions(urlFactory, objectMapper);
+            while ( tries < RECURSION_LIMIT && ( triviaQuestions == null || triviaQuestions.isEmpty() ) )
+            {
+                triviaQuestions = new TriviaQuestions( urlFactory, objectMapper );
                 tries++;
             }
-            if (triviaQuestions.isEmpty()) {
-                throw new IllegalStateException("Tried (" + tries + ") times, all responses were invalid");
+            if ( triviaQuestions.isEmpty() )
+            {
+                throw new IllegalStateException( "Tried (" + tries + ") times, all responses were invalid" );
             }
-            game = new TriviaGame(triviaQuestions.getQuestion());
-            timeoutFuture = timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> {
-                try {
+            game = new TriviaGame( triviaQuestions.getQuestion() );
+            timeoutFuture = timeService.onTimeout( TIMEOUT, () -> {
+                try
+                {
                     gameLock.lock();
-                    game.getTimeoutString().forEach(channelMessageEvent::sendReply);
+                    game.getTimeoutString().forEach( channelMessageEvent::sendReply );
                     game = null;
                     timeoutFuture = null;
-                } finally {
+                }
+                finally
+                {
                     gameLock.unlock();
                 }
-            });
-            return String.join("\n", game.getIntroString());
-        } catch (Exception e) {
+            } );
+            return String.join( "\n", game.getIntroString() );
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
             e.printStackTrace();
             return "I don't feel like playing.";
-        } finally {
+        }
+        finally
+        {
             gameLock.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(value = "!(whatis|whois) @answer", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL)
-    public String tryAnswer(User answererUser, String answer) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( value = "!(whatis|whois) @answer", channel = JEOPARDY_CHANNEL )
+    public String tryAnswer( User answererUser, String answer )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             gameLock.lock();
-            if (game == null) {
+            if ( game == null )
+            {
                 game = null;
                 return "No active game. Start a new one with !jeopardy";
             }
-            String answerer = Nick.getNick(answererUser).getBaseNick();
+            String answerer = Nick.getNick( answererUser ).getBaseNick();
             int stakes = game.getStakes();
-            if (game.isCorrect(answer)) {
+            if ( game.isCorrect( answer ) )
+            {
                 game = null;
-                timeoutFuture.cancel(true);
+                timeoutFuture.cancel( true );
                 timeoutFuture = null;
 
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answerer, stakes);
-                return String.format("Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answerer, stakes);
-            } else {
-                karmaDB.modNounKarma(answerer, -stakes);
-                return String.format("Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answerer, stakes);
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, stakes );
+                return String.format( "Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answerer, stakes );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                karmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, -stakes );
+                return String.format( "Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answerer, stakes );
             }
         }
-        finally {
+        finally
+        {
             gameLock.unlock();
         }
     }
 
-    private static class TriviaQuestions {
+    private static class TriviaQuestions
+    {
         private static final String API_URL = "http://jservice.io/api/random?count=100";
 
         private List<TriviaQuestion> triviaQuestionList;
 
-        public TriviaQuestions(URLFactory urlFactory, ObjectMapper objectMapper) throws IOException {
-            JsonNode response = objectMapper.readTree(urlFactory.build(API_URL));
+        public TriviaQuestions( URLFactory urlFactory, ObjectMapper objectMapper )
+            throws IOException
+        {
+            JsonNode response = objectMapper.readTree( urlFactory.build( API_URL ) );
             triviaQuestionList = new ArrayList<>();
-            response.forEach(questionJson -> {
-                String question = questionJson.get("question").asText().trim();
-                boolean invalid = !questionJson.get("invalid_count").isNull();
-                if (question.equals( "" ) || question.contains( "seen here" ) || invalid) {
+            response.forEach( questionJson -> {
+                String question = questionJson.get( "question" ).asText().trim();
+                boolean invalid = !questionJson.get( "invalid_count" ).isNull();
+                if ( question.equals( "" ) || question.contains( "seen here" ) || invalid )
+                {
                     return;
                 }
                 String category = questionJson.get( "category" ).get( "title" ).asText();
                 String answer = questionJson.get( "answer" ).asText();
                 int stakes = getStakes( questionJson );
-                triviaQuestionList.add(new TriviaQuestion(stakes, question, answer, category));
-            });
+                triviaQuestionList.add( new TriviaQuestion( stakes, question, answer, category ) );
+            } );
         }
 
-        public TriviaQuestion getQuestion() {
-            return triviaQuestionList.remove(0);
+        public TriviaQuestion getQuestion()
+        {
+            return triviaQuestionList.remove( 0 );
         }
 
         private int getStakes( JsonNode trivia )
@@ -152,18 +180,24 @@ private int getStakes( JsonNode trivia )
             return 5;
         }
 
-        public boolean isEmpty() {
+        public boolean isEmpty()
+        {
             return triviaQuestionList.isEmpty();
         }
     }
 
-    private static class TriviaQuestion {
+    private static class TriviaQuestion
+    {
         final int stakes;
+
         final String question;
+
         final String answer;
+
         final String category;
 
-        public TriviaQuestion(int stakes, String question, String answer, String category) {
+        public TriviaQuestion( int stakes, String question, String answer, String category )
+        {
             this.stakes = stakes;
             this.question = question;
             this.answer = answer;
@@ -176,7 +210,7 @@ private static class TriviaGame
 
         TriviaQuestion triviaQuestion;
 
-        TriviaGame(TriviaQuestion triviaQuestion)
+        TriviaGame( TriviaQuestion triviaQuestion )
         {
             this.triviaQuestion = triviaQuestion;
         }
@@ -207,13 +241,13 @@ private boolean isCorrect( String answer )
         private String formatAnswer( String answer )
         {
             return answer.toLowerCase().replaceAll( "^the ",
-                    "" ).replaceAll( "^a ",
-                    "" ).replaceAll( "^an ",
-                    "" ).replaceAll( "\\(.*\\)",
-                    "" ).replaceAll( "/.*",
-                    "" ).replaceAll( "&",
-                    "and" ).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z\\d]",
-                    "" );
+                                                    "" ).replaceAll( "^a ",
+                                                                     "" ).replaceAll( "^an ",
+                                                                                      "" ).replaceAll( "\\(.*\\)",
+                                                                                                       "" ).replaceAll( "/.*",
+                                                                                                                        "" ).replaceAll( "&",
+                                                                                                                                         "and" ).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z\\d]",
+                                                                                                                                                             "" );
         }
 
         private List<String> getQuestionBlurb()
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
index 92b7699f..dcffecc1 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
@@ -6,11 +6,13 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class TwitterCorrectionService {
+public class TwitterCorrectionService
+{
 
-    @OnChannelMessage(".*@twitterCallout.*")
-    public String onTwitterSyntax(@Regex("@(\\S+):?") String twitterCallout) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( ".*@twitterCallout.*" )
+    public String onTwitterSyntax( @Regex( "@(\\S+):?" ) String twitterCallout )
+    {
         return "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: "
-                + twitterCallout.substring(1).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z0-9]$", "" ) + ": message";
+            + twitterCallout.substring( 1 ).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z0-9]$", "" ) + ": message";
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
index d23f53e8..81062e9a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
@@ -17,21 +17,23 @@
 import java.util.Optional;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class UrlTweetAnnouncerService {
+public class UrlTweetAnnouncerService
+{
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-key" )
-    Optional<String>  consumerKey; // may be known as 'API key'
+    Optional<String> consumerKey; // may be known as 'API key'
 
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret" )
-    Optional<String>  consumerSecret; // may be known as 'API secret'
+    Optional<String> consumerSecret; // may be known as 'API secret'
 
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token" )
-    Optional<String>  accessToken; // may be known as 'Access token'
+    Optional<String> accessToken; // may be known as 'Access token'
 
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret" )
     Optional<String> accessTokenSecret; // may be known as 'Access token secret'
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("@message")
-    public String onTwitterUrlMessage( Client client, @Regex("((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:twitter)\\.com)[^ ]*)") String message )
+    @OnChannelMessage( "@message" )
+    public String onTwitterUrlMessage( Client client,
+                                       @Regex( "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:twitter)\\.com)[^ ]*)" ) String message )
     {
         if ( consumerKey.isEmpty() || consumerSecret.isEmpty() || accessToken.isEmpty() || accessTokenSecret.isEmpty() )
         {
@@ -93,7 +95,7 @@ private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( Client client, String url )
                     User user = twitter.showUser( parts[userPosition].toString() );
                     if ( !user.getDescription().isEmpty() ) // the user has a description
                         return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + " | " + user.getDescription() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'"
-                                + user.getStatus().getText() );
+                            + user.getStatus().getText() );
                     else // the user doesn't have a description, don't print it
                         return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'" + user.getStatus().getText() );
 
@@ -102,7 +104,7 @@ private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( Client client, String url )
             catch ( TwitterException x )
             {
                 return client.getNick()
-                        + ": Until my maintainer fixes the API Key, this is the only tweet you're gonna see. U mad, bro?";
+                    + ": Until my maintainer fixes the API Key, this is the only tweet you're gonna see. U mad, bro?";
             }
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
index ee747978..b85adc68 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
@@ -22,8 +22,9 @@
 
 public final class ASCII
 {
-    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image ) {
-        return convert(image, false);
+    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image )
+    {
+        return convert( image, false );
     }
 
     public static String convert( final BufferedImage image, boolean negative )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
index 7f274b06..1b735052 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
@@ -6,26 +6,34 @@
 import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
 import java.time.Duration;
 
-public interface LimitService {
+public interface LimitService
+{
     void setLimit( int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration timePeriod );
 
-    void addUse(String noun) throws LimitExceededException;
+    void addUse( String noun )
+        throws LimitExceededException;
 
-    default void addUse(Nick nick) throws LimitExceededException {
-        addUse(nick.getBaseNick());
+    default void addUse( Nick nick )
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        addUse( nick.getBaseNick() );
     }
 
-    default void addUse(User user) throws LimitExceededException {
-        addUse(Nick.getNick(user));
+    default void addUse( User user )
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        addUse( Nick.getNick( user ) );
     }
 
-    boolean isAtLimit(String noun);
+    boolean isAtLimit( String noun );
 
-    default boolean isAtLimit(Nick nick) {
-        return isAtLimit(nick.getBaseNick());
+    default boolean isAtLimit( Nick nick )
+    {
+        return isAtLimit( nick.getBaseNick() );
     }
 
-    default boolean isAtLimit(User user) {
-        return isAtLimit(Nick.getNick(user));
+    default boolean isAtLimit( User user )
+    {
+        return isAtLimit( Nick.getNick( user ) );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
index 28f01f8e..6dd2b690 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
@@ -9,45 +9,55 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
 
 @Dependent
-public class LimitServiceImpl implements LimitService {
+public class LimitServiceImpl
+    implements LimitService
+{
 
     private final Map<String, Integer> userToUsageCountMap = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
 
     private int maxUsesPerPeriod = 2;
 
-    private Duration period = Duration.ofSeconds(300);
+    private Duration period = Duration.ofSeconds( 300 );
 
     @Override
-    public void setLimit(int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration period) {
+    public void setLimit( int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration period )
+    {
         this.maxUsesPerPeriod = maxUsesPerPeriod;
         this.period = period;
     }
 
     @Override
-    public void addUse(String noun) throws LimitExceededException {
-        if (isAtLimit(noun)) {
-            throw new LimitExceededException(noun + " has the maximum uses");
+    public void addUse( String noun )
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        if ( isAtLimit( noun ) )
+        {
+            throw new LimitExceededException( noun + " has the maximum uses" );
         }
 
-        userToUsageCountMap.merge(noun, 1, Integer::sum);
-        TimerTask removeUsage = new TimerTask() {
+        userToUsageCountMap.merge( noun, 1, Integer::sum );
+        TimerTask removeUsage = new TimerTask()
+        {
             @Override
-            public void run() {
-                userToUsageCountMap.computeIfPresent(noun, (key, count) -> {
-                    if (count > 1) {
+            public void run()
+            {
+                userToUsageCountMap.computeIfPresent( noun, ( key, count ) -> {
+                    if ( count > 1 )
+                    {
                         return count - 1;
                     }
                     return null;
-                });
+                } );
             }
         };
         Timer timer = new Timer();
-        timer.schedule(removeUsage, period.toMillis());
+        timer.schedule( removeUsage, period.toMillis() );
     }
 
     @Override
-    public boolean isAtLimit(String noun) {
-        int useCount = userToUsageCountMap.getOrDefault(noun, 0);
+    public boolean isAtLimit( String noun )
+    {
+        int useCount = userToUsageCountMap.getOrDefault( noun, 0 );
         return useCount >= maxUsesPerPeriod;
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
index caabdcf9..bba6842f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -37,6 +37,6 @@ public <T> T getRandomElement( List<T> list )
 
     public <T> T getRandomElement( T[] array )
     {
-        return array[ getRandomInt( array.length ) ];
+        return array[getRandomInt( array.length )];
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
index b051378f..9e5a9e6c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
@@ -4,8 +4,11 @@
 import java.time.LocalDateTime;
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
 
-public interface TimeService {
+public interface TimeService
+{
     long getCurrentTimeMills();
+
     LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime();
-    Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout);
+
+    Future<?> onTimeout( Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout );
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
index b3a38888..57e9402a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
@@ -8,22 +8,27 @@
 import java.util.concurrent.Future;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class TimeServiceImpl implements TimeService {
+public class TimeServiceImpl
+    implements TimeService
+{
     ExecutorService executorService = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
 
     @Override
-    public long getCurrentTimeMills() {
+    public long getCurrentTimeMills()
+    {
         return System.currentTimeMillis();
     }
 
     @Override
-    public LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime() {
+    public LocalDateTime getCurrentDateTime()
+    {
         return LocalDateTime.now();
     }
 
     @Override
-    public Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout) {
-        return executorService.submit(() -> {
+    public Future<?> onTimeout( Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout )
+    {
+        return executorService.submit( () -> {
             try
             {
                 Thread.sleep( timeoutDuration.toMillis() );
@@ -33,6 +38,6 @@ public Future<?> onTimeout(Duration timeoutDuration, Runnable onTimeout) {
             {
                 // Do nothing; the task completed normally;
             }
-        });
+        } );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
index ae6f4df0..29c82f07 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
@@ -5,6 +5,9 @@
 
 public interface URLFactory
 {
-    URL build( String url ) throws MalformedURLException;
-    URL build( String protocol, String host, int port, String file ) throws MalformedURLException;
+    URL build( String url )
+        throws MalformedURLException;
+
+    URL build( String protocol, String host, int port, String file )
+        throws MalformedURLException;
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
index 409b4050..38f62f1e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
@@ -8,13 +8,16 @@
 public class URLFactoryImpl
     implements URLFactory
 {
-    public URL build( String url ) throws MalformedURLException
+    public URL build( String url )
+        throws MalformedURLException
     {
         return new URL( url );
     }
 
     @Override
-    public URL build(String protocol, String host, int port, String file) throws MalformedURLException {
-        return new URL(protocol, host, port, file);
+    public URL build( String protocol, String host, int port, String file )
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        return new URL( protocol, host, port, file );
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 7a4cf6e4..cbec42b7 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
 vilebot.default.channel=#channel
 vilebot.jeopardy.channel=#jeopardy
 vilebot.omgword.channel=#omgword
+vilebot.countdown.channel=#countdown
 vilebot.markov.channel=${vilebot.default.channel}
 
 # Test configuration
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
index 309b852c..00232131 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
@@ -30,9 +30,10 @@ public URL build( String url )
     }
 
     @Override
-    public URL build(String protocol, String host, int port, String file) throws MalformedURLException {
-        URL testURL =
-                new URL( protocol, host, port, file, urlStreamHandler );
+    public URL build( String protocol, String host, int port, String file )
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        URL testURL = new URL( protocol, host, port, file, urlStreamHandler );
         urlStringToUrlMap.put( testURL.toString(), testURL );
         return testURL;
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index 4390dbfe..6d2a4ece 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -1,17 +1,18 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
 import java.io.IOException;
 import java.io.InputStream;
 import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
+import java.net.InetAddress;
 import java.net.URL;
 import java.net.URLConnection;
 import java.net.URLStreamHandler;
 import java.util.HashMap;
 import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.Objects;
 
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
 import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
@@ -133,4 +134,330 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, String url, Input
         }
         return mockConnection( url, urlConnection );
     }
+
+    protected void parseURL( URL u, String spec, int start, int limit )
+    {
+        // These fields may receive context content if this was relative URL
+        String protocol = u.getProtocol();
+        String authority = u.getAuthority();
+        String userInfo = u.getUserInfo();
+        String host = u.getHost();
+        int port = u.getPort();
+        String path = u.getPath();
+        String query = u.getQuery();
+
+        // This field has already been parsed
+        String ref = u.getRef();
+
+        boolean isRelPath = false;
+        boolean queryOnly = false;
+
+        // FIX: should not assume query if opaque
+        // Strip off the query part
+        if ( start < limit )
+        {
+            int queryStart = spec.indexOf( '?' );
+            queryOnly = queryStart == start;
+            if ( ( queryStart != -1 ) && ( queryStart < limit ) )
+            {
+                query = spec.substring( queryStart + 1, limit );
+                if ( limit > queryStart )
+                    limit = queryStart;
+                spec = spec.substring( 0, queryStart );
+            }
+        }
+
+        int i = 0;
+        // Parse the authority part if any
+        boolean isUNCName =
+            ( start <= limit - 4 ) && ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' ) && ( spec.charAt( start + 1 ) == '/' )
+                && ( spec.charAt( start + 2 ) == '/' ) && ( spec.charAt( start + 3 ) == '/' );
+        if ( !isUNCName && ( start <= limit - 2 ) && ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' )
+            && ( spec.charAt( start + 1 ) == '/' ) )
+        {
+            start += 2;
+            i = spec.indexOf( '/', start );
+            if ( i < 0 || i > limit )
+            {
+                i = spec.indexOf( '?', start );
+                if ( i < 0 || i > limit )
+                    i = limit;
+            }
+
+            host = authority = spec.substring( start, i );
+
+            int ind = authority.indexOf( '@' );
+            if ( ind != -1 )
+            {
+                if ( ind != authority.lastIndexOf( '@' ) )
+                {
+                    // more than one '@' in authority. This is not server based
+                    userInfo = null;
+                    host = null;
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    userInfo = authority.substring( 0, ind );
+                    host = authority.substring( ind + 1 );
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                userInfo = null;
+            }
+            if ( host != null )
+            {
+                // If the host is surrounded by [ and ] then its an IPv6
+                // literal address as specified in RFC2732
+                if ( host.length() > 0 && ( host.charAt( 0 ) == '[' ) )
+                {
+                    if ( ( ind = host.indexOf( ']' ) ) > 2 )
+                    {
+
+                        String nhost = host;
+                        host = nhost.substring( 0, ind + 1 );
+
+                        port = -1;
+                        if ( nhost.length() > ind + 1 )
+                        {
+                            if ( nhost.charAt( ind + 1 ) == ':' )
+                            {
+                                ++ind;
+                                // port can be null according to RFC2396
+                                if ( nhost.length() > ( ind + 1 ) )
+                                {
+                                    port = Integer.parseInt( nhost, ind + 1, nhost.length(), 10 );
+                                }
+                            }
+                            else
+                            {
+                                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid authority field: " + authority );
+                            }
+                        }
+                    }
+                    else
+                    {
+                        throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid authority field: " + authority );
+                    }
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    ind = host.indexOf( ':' );
+                    port = -1;
+                    if ( ind >= 0 )
+                    {
+                        // port can be null according to RFC2396
+                        if ( host.length() > ( ind + 1 ) )
+                        {
+                            port = Integer.parseInt( host, ind + 1, host.length(), 10 );
+                        }
+                        host = host.substring( 0, ind );
+                    }
+                }
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                host = "";
+            }
+            if ( port < -1 )
+                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid port number :" + port );
+            start = i;
+            // If the authority is defined then the path is defined by the
+            // spec only; See RFC 2396 Section 5.2.4.
+            if ( authority != null && !authority.isEmpty() )
+                path = "";
+        }
+
+        if ( host == null )
+        {
+            host = "";
+        }
+
+        // Parse the file path if any
+        if ( start < limit )
+        {
+            if ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' )
+            {
+                path = spec.substring( start, limit );
+            }
+            else if ( path != null && !path.isEmpty() )
+            {
+                isRelPath = true;
+                int ind = path.lastIndexOf( '/' );
+                String separator = "";
+                if ( ind == -1 && authority != null )
+                    separator = "/";
+                path = path.substring( 0, ind + 1 ) + separator + spec.substring( start, limit );
+
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                path = spec.substring( start, limit );
+                path = ( authority != null ) ? "/" + path : path;
+            }
+        }
+        else if ( queryOnly && path != null )
+        {
+            int ind = path.lastIndexOf( '/' );
+            if ( ind < 0 )
+                ind = 0;
+            path = path.substring( 0, ind ) + "/";
+        }
+        if ( path == null )
+            path = "";
+
+        if ( isRelPath )
+        {
+            // Remove embedded /./
+            while ( ( i = path.indexOf( "/./" ) ) >= 0 )
+            {
+                path = path.substring( 0, i ) + path.substring( i + 2 );
+            }
+            // Remove embedded /../ if possible
+            i = 0;
+            while ( ( i = path.indexOf( "/../", i ) ) >= 0 )
+            {
+                /*
+                 * A "/../" will cancel the previous segment and itself, unless that segment is a "/../" itself i.e.
+                 * "/a/b/../c" becomes "/a/c" but "/../../a" should stay unchanged
+                 */
+                if ( i > 0 && ( limit = path.lastIndexOf( '/', i - 1 ) ) >= 0
+                    && ( path.indexOf( "/../", limit ) != 0 ) )
+                {
+                    path = path.substring( 0, limit ) + path.substring( i + 3 );
+                    i = 0;
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    i = i + 3;
+                }
+            }
+            // Remove trailing .. if possible
+            while ( path.endsWith( "/.." ) )
+            {
+                i = path.indexOf( "/.." );
+                if ( ( limit = path.lastIndexOf( '/', i - 1 ) ) >= 0 )
+                {
+                    path = path.substring( 0, limit + 1 );
+                }
+                else
+                {
+                    break;
+                }
+            }
+            // Remove starting .
+            if ( path.startsWith( "./" ) && path.length() > 2 )
+                path = path.substring( 2 );
+
+            // Remove trailing .
+            if ( path.endsWith( "/." ) )
+                path = path.substring( 0, path.length() - 1 );
+        }
+
+        setURL( u, protocol, host, port, authority, userInfo, path, query, ref );
+    }
+
+    protected int getDefaultPort()
+    {
+        return -1;
+    }
+
+    protected boolean equals( URL u1, URL u2 )
+    {
+        return Objects.equals( u1.getRef(), u2.getRef() ) && sameFile( u1, u2 );
+    }
+
+    protected int hashCode( URL u )
+    {
+        int h = 0;
+
+        // Generate the protocol part.
+        String protocol = u.getProtocol();
+        if ( protocol != null )
+            h += protocol.hashCode();
+
+        // Generate the host part.
+        InetAddress addr = getHostAddress( u );
+        if ( addr != null )
+        {
+            h += addr.hashCode();
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            String host = u.getHost();
+            if ( host != null )
+                h += host.toLowerCase().hashCode();
+        }
+
+        // Generate the file part.
+        String file = u.getFile();
+        if ( file != null )
+            h += file.hashCode();
+
+        // Generate the port part.
+        if ( u.getPort() == -1 )
+            h += getDefaultPort();
+        else
+            h += u.getPort();
+
+        // Generate the ref part.
+        String ref = u.getRef();
+        if ( ref != null )
+            h += ref.hashCode();
+
+        return h;
+    }
+
+    protected boolean sameFile( URL u1, URL u2 )
+    {
+        // Compare the protocols.
+        if ( !( ( u1.getProtocol() == u2.getProtocol() )
+            || ( u1.getProtocol() != null && u1.getProtocol().equalsIgnoreCase( u2.getProtocol() ) ) ) )
+            return false;
+
+        // Compare the files.
+        if ( !( u1.getFile() == u2.getFile() || ( u1.getFile() != null && u1.getFile().equals( u2.getFile() ) ) ) )
+            return false;
+        return true;
+    }
+
+    protected synchronized InetAddress getHostAddress( URL u )
+    {
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    protected boolean hostsEqual( URL u1, URL u2 )
+    {
+        InetAddress a1 = getHostAddress( u1 );
+        InetAddress a2 = getHostAddress( u2 );
+        // if we have internet address for both, compare them
+        if ( a1 != null && a2 != null )
+        {
+            return a1.equals( a2 );
+            // else, if both have host names, compare them
+        }
+        else if ( u1.getHost() != null && u2.getHost() != null )
+            return u1.getHost().equalsIgnoreCase( u2.getHost() );
+        else
+            return u1.getHost() == null && u2.getHost() == null;
+    }
+
+    protected String toExternalForm( URL u )
+    {
+        String s;
+        return u.getProtocol() + ':' + ( ( s = u.getAuthority() ) != null && !s.isEmpty() ? "//" + s : "" )
+            + ( ( s = u.getPath() ) != null ? s : "" ) + ( ( s = u.getQuery() ) != null ? '?' + s : "" )
+            + ( ( s = u.getRef() ) != null ? '#' + s : "" );
+    }
+
+    protected void setURL( URL u, String protocol, String host, int port, String authority, String userInfo,
+                           String path, String query, String ref )
+    {
+    }
+
+    @Deprecated
+    protected void setURL( URL u, String protocol, String host, int port, String file, String ref )
+    {
+    }
+
 }
\ No newline at end of file

From 35a6a1961962454c99122e7b7b93e0c3d9857255 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 19:33:35 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 46/79] Remove code that was not required

---
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    | 279 +-----------------
 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 276 deletions(-)

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index 6d2a4ece..eb5affc2 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -137,224 +137,6 @@ public TestUrlStreamHandler mockHttpConnection( String method, String url, Input
 
     protected void parseURL( URL u, String spec, int start, int limit )
     {
-        // These fields may receive context content if this was relative URL
-        String protocol = u.getProtocol();
-        String authority = u.getAuthority();
-        String userInfo = u.getUserInfo();
-        String host = u.getHost();
-        int port = u.getPort();
-        String path = u.getPath();
-        String query = u.getQuery();
-
-        // This field has already been parsed
-        String ref = u.getRef();
-
-        boolean isRelPath = false;
-        boolean queryOnly = false;
-
-        // FIX: should not assume query if opaque
-        // Strip off the query part
-        if ( start < limit )
-        {
-            int queryStart = spec.indexOf( '?' );
-            queryOnly = queryStart == start;
-            if ( ( queryStart != -1 ) && ( queryStart < limit ) )
-            {
-                query = spec.substring( queryStart + 1, limit );
-                if ( limit > queryStart )
-                    limit = queryStart;
-                spec = spec.substring( 0, queryStart );
-            }
-        }
-
-        int i = 0;
-        // Parse the authority part if any
-        boolean isUNCName =
-            ( start <= limit - 4 ) && ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' ) && ( spec.charAt( start + 1 ) == '/' )
-                && ( spec.charAt( start + 2 ) == '/' ) && ( spec.charAt( start + 3 ) == '/' );
-        if ( !isUNCName && ( start <= limit - 2 ) && ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' )
-            && ( spec.charAt( start + 1 ) == '/' ) )
-        {
-            start += 2;
-            i = spec.indexOf( '/', start );
-            if ( i < 0 || i > limit )
-            {
-                i = spec.indexOf( '?', start );
-                if ( i < 0 || i > limit )
-                    i = limit;
-            }
-
-            host = authority = spec.substring( start, i );
-
-            int ind = authority.indexOf( '@' );
-            if ( ind != -1 )
-            {
-                if ( ind != authority.lastIndexOf( '@' ) )
-                {
-                    // more than one '@' in authority. This is not server based
-                    userInfo = null;
-                    host = null;
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    userInfo = authority.substring( 0, ind );
-                    host = authority.substring( ind + 1 );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                userInfo = null;
-            }
-            if ( host != null )
-            {
-                // If the host is surrounded by [ and ] then its an IPv6
-                // literal address as specified in RFC2732
-                if ( host.length() > 0 && ( host.charAt( 0 ) == '[' ) )
-                {
-                    if ( ( ind = host.indexOf( ']' ) ) > 2 )
-                    {
-
-                        String nhost = host;
-                        host = nhost.substring( 0, ind + 1 );
-
-                        port = -1;
-                        if ( nhost.length() > ind + 1 )
-                        {
-                            if ( nhost.charAt( ind + 1 ) == ':' )
-                            {
-                                ++ind;
-                                // port can be null according to RFC2396
-                                if ( nhost.length() > ( ind + 1 ) )
-                                {
-                                    port = Integer.parseInt( nhost, ind + 1, nhost.length(), 10 );
-                                }
-                            }
-                            else
-                            {
-                                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid authority field: " + authority );
-                            }
-                        }
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid authority field: " + authority );
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    ind = host.indexOf( ':' );
-                    port = -1;
-                    if ( ind >= 0 )
-                    {
-                        // port can be null according to RFC2396
-                        if ( host.length() > ( ind + 1 ) )
-                        {
-                            port = Integer.parseInt( host, ind + 1, host.length(), 10 );
-                        }
-                        host = host.substring( 0, ind );
-                    }
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                host = "";
-            }
-            if ( port < -1 )
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Invalid port number :" + port );
-            start = i;
-            // If the authority is defined then the path is defined by the
-            // spec only; See RFC 2396 Section 5.2.4.
-            if ( authority != null && !authority.isEmpty() )
-                path = "";
-        }
-
-        if ( host == null )
-        {
-            host = "";
-        }
-
-        // Parse the file path if any
-        if ( start < limit )
-        {
-            if ( spec.charAt( start ) == '/' )
-            {
-                path = spec.substring( start, limit );
-            }
-            else if ( path != null && !path.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                isRelPath = true;
-                int ind = path.lastIndexOf( '/' );
-                String separator = "";
-                if ( ind == -1 && authority != null )
-                    separator = "/";
-                path = path.substring( 0, ind + 1 ) + separator + spec.substring( start, limit );
-
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                path = spec.substring( start, limit );
-                path = ( authority != null ) ? "/" + path : path;
-            }
-        }
-        else if ( queryOnly && path != null )
-        {
-            int ind = path.lastIndexOf( '/' );
-            if ( ind < 0 )
-                ind = 0;
-            path = path.substring( 0, ind ) + "/";
-        }
-        if ( path == null )
-            path = "";
-
-        if ( isRelPath )
-        {
-            // Remove embedded /./
-            while ( ( i = path.indexOf( "/./" ) ) >= 0 )
-            {
-                path = path.substring( 0, i ) + path.substring( i + 2 );
-            }
-            // Remove embedded /../ if possible
-            i = 0;
-            while ( ( i = path.indexOf( "/../", i ) ) >= 0 )
-            {
-                /*
-                 * A "/../" will cancel the previous segment and itself, unless that segment is a "/../" itself i.e.
-                 * "/a/b/../c" becomes "/a/c" but "/../../a" should stay unchanged
-                 */
-                if ( i > 0 && ( limit = path.lastIndexOf( '/', i - 1 ) ) >= 0
-                    && ( path.indexOf( "/../", limit ) != 0 ) )
-                {
-                    path = path.substring( 0, limit ) + path.substring( i + 3 );
-                    i = 0;
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    i = i + 3;
-                }
-            }
-            // Remove trailing .. if possible
-            while ( path.endsWith( "/.." ) )
-            {
-                i = path.indexOf( "/.." );
-                if ( ( limit = path.lastIndexOf( '/', i - 1 ) ) >= 0 )
-                {
-                    path = path.substring( 0, limit + 1 );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    break;
-                }
-            }
-            // Remove starting .
-            if ( path.startsWith( "./" ) && path.length() > 2 )
-                path = path.substring( 2 );
-
-            // Remove trailing .
-            if ( path.endsWith( "/." ) )
-                path = path.substring( 0, path.length() - 1 );
-        }
-
-        setURL( u, protocol, host, port, authority, userInfo, path, query, ref );
     }
 
     protected int getDefaultPort()
@@ -364,60 +146,16 @@ protected int getDefaultPort()
 
     protected boolean equals( URL u1, URL u2 )
     {
-        return Objects.equals( u1.getRef(), u2.getRef() ) && sameFile( u1, u2 );
+        return Objects.equals( u1.getRef(), u2.getRef() );
     }
 
     protected int hashCode( URL u )
     {
-        int h = 0;
-
-        // Generate the protocol part.
-        String protocol = u.getProtocol();
-        if ( protocol != null )
-            h += protocol.hashCode();
-
-        // Generate the host part.
-        InetAddress addr = getHostAddress( u );
-        if ( addr != null )
-        {
-            h += addr.hashCode();
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            String host = u.getHost();
-            if ( host != null )
-                h += host.toLowerCase().hashCode();
-        }
-
-        // Generate the file part.
-        String file = u.getFile();
-        if ( file != null )
-            h += file.hashCode();
-
-        // Generate the port part.
-        if ( u.getPort() == -1 )
-            h += getDefaultPort();
-        else
-            h += u.getPort();
-
-        // Generate the ref part.
-        String ref = u.getRef();
-        if ( ref != null )
-            h += ref.hashCode();
-
-        return h;
+        return Objects.hashCode( u.getRef().hashCode() );
     }
 
     protected boolean sameFile( URL u1, URL u2 )
     {
-        // Compare the protocols.
-        if ( !( ( u1.getProtocol() == u2.getProtocol() )
-            || ( u1.getProtocol() != null && u1.getProtocol().equalsIgnoreCase( u2.getProtocol() ) ) ) )
-            return false;
-
-        // Compare the files.
-        if ( !( u1.getFile() == u2.getFile() || ( u1.getFile() != null && u1.getFile().equals( u2.getFile() ) ) ) )
-            return false;
         return true;
     }
 
@@ -428,18 +166,7 @@ protected synchronized InetAddress getHostAddress( URL u )
 
     protected boolean hostsEqual( URL u1, URL u2 )
     {
-        InetAddress a1 = getHostAddress( u1 );
-        InetAddress a2 = getHostAddress( u2 );
-        // if we have internet address for both, compare them
-        if ( a1 != null && a2 != null )
-        {
-            return a1.equals( a2 );
-            // else, if both have host names, compare them
-        }
-        else if ( u1.getHost() != null && u2.getHost() != null )
-            return u1.getHost().equalsIgnoreCase( u2.getHost() );
-        else
-            return u1.getHost() == null && u2.getHost() == null;
+        return true;
     }
 
     protected String toExternalForm( URL u )

From fbdc16abeeb24d4ea8ce38eb7f6f9bfd76f59596 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 20:08:58 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 47/79] Add AsciiService to Quarkus implementation

---
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiService.java        | 184 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/fontlist.txt           | 145 ++++++++++++++
 3 files changed, 334 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index 853a0245..d2590549 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -102,6 +102,11 @@
       <artifactId>bsh</artifactId>
       <version>2.0b4</version>
     </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>com.github.lalyos</groupId>
+      <artifactId>jfiglet</artifactId>
+      <version>0.0.8</version>
+    </dependency>
     <dependency>
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..edf1abf6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,184 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.github.lalyos.jfiglet.FigletFont;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+import java.io.BufferedReader;
+import java.io.ByteArrayInputStream;
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.InputStream;
+import java.io.InputStreamReader;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.nio.file.Path;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.HashMap;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class AsciiService
+{
+
+    private static final int MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE = 20;
+
+    private static final int MAX_CHARS = MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE * 3; // max 3 lines
+
+    Map<String, String> fontNameToDataMap;
+
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @Inject
+    LimitService limitCommand;
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    public void constructFontMap() {
+        fontNameToDataMap = new HashMap<>();
+        try (InputStream fontListResource = AsciiService.class.getResourceAsStream("/fontlist.txt")) {
+            if (fontListResource == null) {
+                throw new IOException("/fontlist.txt does not exist");
+            }
+            new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(fontListResource))
+                    .lines()
+                    .forEach(fontLocation -> {
+                        try {
+                            URL url = urlFactory.build(fontLocation);
+                            InputStreamReader inputStreamReader = new InputStreamReader(url.openStream());
+                            BufferedReader bufferedReader = new BufferedReader(inputStreamReader);
+                            String fontFile = Path.of(url.getFile()).getFileName().toString();
+                            String fontName = fontFile.substring(0, fontFile.length() - 4);
+                            fontNameToDataMap.put(fontName, bufferedReader.lines().collect(Collectors.joining("\n")));
+                        } catch (IOException e) {
+                            e.printStackTrace();
+                        }
+                    });
+        } catch (IOException e) {
+            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open /fontlist.txt", e);
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!ascii @font @message")
+    public String ascii(User user, @Regex("\\S+") String font, String message) {
+        try {
+            limitCommand.addUse( user );
+            return runAscii( font, message );
+        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+            return e.getMessage();
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnPrivateMessage("!ascii @font @message")
+    public String asciiPrivateMessage(@Regex("\\S+") String font, String message) {
+        return runAscii( font, message );
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!asciifonts")
+    public void asciifonts(User user)
+    {
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        sb.append( "Available fonts for !ascii:\n" );
+        int i = 0;
+        for ( String font : fontNameToDataMap.keySet()
+                .stream()
+                .sorted().collect(Collectors.toList()) )
+        {
+            sb.append( String.format( "%20s ", font ) );
+            if ( ( ( i + 1 ) % 5 ) == 0 )
+            {
+                sb.append( "\n" );
+            }
+            i++;
+        }
+        for (String line : sb.toString().split("\n")) {
+            user.sendMessage(line);
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String runAscii( String font, String message  )
+    {
+        String asciiArt;
+        if ( fontNameToDataMap.containsKey( font ) )
+        {
+            return getAsciiArt( message, font );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            asciiArt = getAsciiArt( font + " " + message );
+        }
+        return asciiArt;
+    }
+
+    private static String getAsciiArt( String text )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+            String[] lines = splitMessage( text );
+            for ( String line : lines )
+            {
+                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( line ) );
+            }
+            return sb.toString();
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            return "Could not get ASCII art";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String getAsciiArt( String text, String font )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+            String[] lines = splitMessage( text );
+            for ( String line : lines )
+            {
+                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( new ByteArrayInputStream(fontNameToDataMap.get(font).getBytes()), line ) );
+            }
+            return sb.toString();
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            e.printStackTrace();
+            return "Could not get ASCII art";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static String[] splitMessage( String message )
+    {
+        List<String> lines = new ArrayList<>();
+        if ( message.length() > MAX_CHARS )
+        {
+            message = message.substring( 0, MAX_CHARS );
+        }
+        int len = message.length();
+        for ( int i = 0; i < len; i += MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE )
+        {
+            int substrEndIdx = Math.min( len, i + MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE );
+            if ( i + MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE < len && Character.isLetter( message.charAt( substrEndIdx - 1 ) )
+                && Character.isLetter( message.charAt( substrEndIdx ) ) )
+            {
+                lines.add( message.substring( i, substrEndIdx ) + "-" );
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                lines.add( message.substring( i, substrEndIdx ) );
+            }
+        }
+        return lines.toArray( new String[0] );
+    }
+
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4cf2f995
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,145 @@
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/3-d.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/3x5.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/5lineoblique.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/acrobatic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alligator.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alligator2.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alphabet.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/avatar.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner3-D.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner3.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner4.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/barbwire.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/basic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bell.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/big.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bigchief.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/binary.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/block.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bubble.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bulbhead.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/calgphy2.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/caligraphy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/catwalk.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/chunky.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/coinstak.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/colossal.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/computer.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/contessa.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/contrast.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cosmic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cosmike.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cricket.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cursive.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cyberlarge.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cybermedium.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cybersmall.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/diamond.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/digital.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/doh.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/doom.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/dotmatrix.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/drpepper.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftichess.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftifont.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftipiti.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftirobot.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftitalic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftiwall.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftiwater.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/epic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fender.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fourtops.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fuzzy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/goofy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/gothic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/graffiti.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/hollywood.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/invita.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric1.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric2.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric3.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric4.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/italic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ivrit.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/jazmine.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/jerusalem.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/katakana.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/kban.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/larry3d.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lcd.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lean.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/letters.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/linux.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lockergnome.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/madrid.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/marquee.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/maxfour.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mike.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mini.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mirror.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mnemonic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/morse.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/moscow.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj-fancy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj-underlined.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nipples.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ntgreek.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/o8.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ogre.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pawp.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/peaks.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pebbles.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pepper.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/poison.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/puffy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pyramid.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rectangles.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/relief.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/relief2.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rev.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/roman.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rot13.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rounded.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rowancap.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rozzo.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/runic.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/runyc.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/sblood.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/script.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/serifcap.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/shadow.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/short.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slant.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slide.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slscript.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/small.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smisome1.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smkeyboard.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smscript.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smshadow.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smslant.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smtengwar.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/speed.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stampatello.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/standard.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/starwars.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stellar.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stop.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/straight.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tanja.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tengwar.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/term.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/thick.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/thin.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/threepoint.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ticks.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ticksslant.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tinker-toy.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tombstone.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/trek.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tsalagi.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/twopoint.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/usaflag.flf
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/weird.flf
\ No newline at end of file

From 29247c2fe948bf2e440223735c2d53a95b0b39e4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 20:24:23 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 48/79] Add AnswerQuestionService to Quarkus implementation

---
 .../services/AnswerQuestionService.java       | 101 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   2 +-
 2 files changed, 102 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..608805bd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.w3c.dom.Document;
+import org.w3c.dom.NodeList;
+import org.xml.sax.InputSource;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.xml.parsers.DocumentBuilder;
+import javax.xml.parsers.DocumentBuilderFactory;
+import java.io.StringReader;
+import java.io.UnsupportedEncodingException;
+import java.net.URLConnection;
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.util.Scanner;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class AnswerQuestionService {
+    private static final int MAX_RESPONSE = 500;
+
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.wolfram.key" )
+    String API_KEY;
+
+    @OnMessage("!tellme @question")
+    public String getAnswerForQuery(String question) {
+        String answer = getAnswer( question );
+        return truncate( answer );
+    }
+
+    private String getAnswer( String searchTerm )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            String url = makeURL( searchTerm );
+            String response = getContent( url );
+            return parseResponse( response );
+        }
+        catch ( Exception e )
+        {
+            return "I couldn't find an answer for that";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private String makeURL( String searchTerm )
+            throws UnsupportedEncodingException
+    {
+        searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( searchTerm, "UTF-8" );
+        return "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
+                + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
+    }
+
+    private String getContent( String url )
+    {
+        String content = null;
+        URLConnection connection;
+        try
+        {
+            connection = urlFactory.build(url).openConnection();
+            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
+            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
+            content = scanner.next();
+        }
+        catch ( Exception ex )
+        {
+            ex.printStackTrace();
+        }
+        return content;
+    }
+
+    private String parseResponse( String response )
+            throws Exception
+    {
+        DocumentBuilderFactory documentBuilderFactory = DocumentBuilderFactory.newInstance();
+        DocumentBuilder documentBuilder = documentBuilderFactory.newDocumentBuilder();
+        Document document = documentBuilder.parse( new InputSource( new StringReader( response ) ) );
+        NodeList nodeList = document.getElementsByTagName( "plaintext" );
+        String answer = nodeList.item( 0 ).getTextContent().trim() + "\n" + nodeList.item( 1 ).getTextContent().trim();
+
+        if ( answer.isEmpty() )
+        {
+            throw new Exception();
+        }
+
+        return answer;
+    }
+
+    private String truncate( String response )
+    {
+        if ( response.length() > MAX_RESPONSE )
+        {
+            response = response.substring( 0, MAX_RESPONSE ) + "...";
+        }
+        return response;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index cbec42b7..f3a32e09 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -20,5 +20,5 @@ vilebot.twitter.consumer-key=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret=
 vilebot.twitter.access-token=
 vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret=
-
+vilebot.wolfram.key=
 vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key=
\ No newline at end of file

From 560b141d54336f0d4bc56abe4e94454d3321224e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2021 21:05:44 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 49/79] Add ChurchService to Quarkus implementation

This is the final user facing service; rest are admin
---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java   |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchService.java       | 326 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 327 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
index 4a62e24f..99e6aa13 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ public void modDonorTitle( String noun, String newTitle )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getDonorKarma( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ).toLong() );
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1de7aff6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,326 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Objects;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class ChurchService {
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    VoteEvent currentVote = null;
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!donate @donationAmount")
+    public String donate(User user, Integer donationAmount) {
+        if ( currentVote != null )
+        {
+            return  "There is an ongoing vote, you cannot donate at this time.";
+        }
+
+        String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        long donorKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( donor ).orElse(0L);
+        if ( donationAmount <= 0 )
+        {
+            return "You cannot donate a non-positive number.";
+        }
+        else if ( donorKarma <= 0 || donorKarma < donationAmount )
+        {
+            return "You have insufficient karma to donate.";
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            churchDB.modDonorKarma( donor, donationAmount );
+            karmaDB.modNounKarma( donor, -1 * donationAmount );
+            Long churchDonorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( donor ).orElse(null);
+            if ( churchDonorKarma != null && churchDonorKarma - donationAmount <= 0 )
+            {
+                churchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, " " );
+            }
+            return "Thank you for your donation of " + donationAmount + " " + donor + "!";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!churchtotal")
+    public String churchTotal() {
+        long totalDonations = churchDB.getTotalDonations();
+        long churchTotal = totalDonations + churchDB.getTotalNonDonations();
+        return "The church coffers contains " + churchTotal + ", of which " + totalDonations
+                + " was contributed by its loyal believers.";
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!topdonors")
+    public String topDonors() {
+        Set<String> nouns;
+        nouns = churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L );
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
+        {
+            StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+            out.append( "NICK           AMOUNT    TITLE\n" );
+            for ( String noun : nouns )
+            {
+                out.append(getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( noun ));
+                out.append('\n');
+            }
+            out.deleteCharAt(out.length() - 1);
+            return out.toString();
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "The church does not have enough followers yet.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!settitle @newTitle")
+    public String setTitle(User user, String newTitle) {
+        String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        if ( donorRank != null && donorRank > 4 )
+        {
+            return "You must be a top donor to set your title.";
+        }
+
+        if ( newTitle.length() > 40 )
+        {
+            newTitle = newTitle.substring( 0, 39 );
+        }
+
+        String oldTitle = churchDB.getDonorTitle( donor );
+        churchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, newTitle );
+        return donor + " is now to be referred to as " + newTitle + " instead of " + oldTitle + ".";
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!inquisit @toInquisit")
+    public String inquisit( ChannelMessageEvent event, User user, Nick toInquisit )
+    {
+        if ( currentVote != null )
+        {
+            return "There is an ongoing inquisition against " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget()
+                    + ". Please use !aye or !nay to decide their fate";
+        }
+
+        String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
+        {
+            return "You must be a top donor to start an inquisition.";
+        }
+
+        StringBuilder membersToPing = new StringBuilder();
+        Set<String> nouns = churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L );
+        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 3 )
+        {
+            for ( String noun : nouns )
+            {
+                membersToPing.append( noun ).append( " " );
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "There are not enough members of the church to invoke a vote";
+        }
+
+        String inquisitedNick = toInquisit.getBaseNick();
+        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( inquisitedNick ).orElse(null);
+        if ( nounKarma == null || nounKarma == 0 )
+        {
+            return "You cannot start an inquisition against someone who has no donation value.";
+        }
+
+        startInquisitionVote( event.getChannel(), inquisitedNick, donorRank );
+        return "An inquisition has started against " + inquisitedNick
+                + ". Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n" + membersToPing;
+
+    }
+
+    private synchronized void startInquisitionVote( Channel channel, String inquisitedNick, Long donorRank )
+    {
+        currentVote = new VoteEvent();
+        currentVote.setDecisionTarget( inquisitedNick );
+        currentVote.updateVoteAye( donorRank.intValue() );
+        startTimer( channel );
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!aye")
+    public String voteAye(User user) {
+        return vote(user, true);
+    }
+
+    @OnChannelMessage("!nay")
+    public String voteNay(User user) {
+        return vote(user, false);
+    }
+
+    public String vote(User user, boolean isAye) {
+        if ( currentVote == null )
+        {
+            return "There is no ongoing vote.";
+        }
+
+        String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
+        {
+            return "You must be a top donor to vote.";
+        }
+
+        if ( isAye )
+        {
+            currentVote.updateVoteAye( donorRank.intValue() );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            currentVote.updateVoteNay( donorRank.intValue() );
+        }
+
+        StringBuilder currentChoices = new StringBuilder();
+        int i = 1;
+        Set<String> nouns = churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L );
+        for ( String noun : Objects.requireNonNull( nouns ) )
+        {
+            currentChoices.append( noun ).append( " (" ).append( currentVote.getDonorVote( i++ ) ).append( ") " );
+        }
+        return currentChoices.toString();
+    }
+
+    private void startTimer( final Channel channel )
+    {
+        timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> timeoutTimer(channel));
+    }
+
+    private void timeoutTimer( Channel channel )
+    {
+        String message = "Voting is now finished\n";
+        if ( currentVote.isDecisionYes() )
+        {
+            message += "The vote to inquisit " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " has passed. "
+                    + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " will be stripped of their karma.";
+            Long donorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() ).orElse(null);
+            if ( donorKarma != null )
+            {
+                churchDB.modNonDonorKarma( donorKarma.intValue() );
+                churchDB.removeDonor( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() );
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            message += "The vote to inquisit " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " has failed. Nothing will happen.";
+        }
+        for ( String line : message.split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            channel.sendMessage( line );
+        }
+        currentVote = null;
+    }
+
+    private String getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( String noun )
+    {
+        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( noun ).orElse(null);
+        String nounTitle = churchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
+        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
+        sb.append( noun );
+        sb.reverse();
+        String nounString = sb.toString();
+        if ( nounKarma != null )
+        {
+            int nounLength = sb.length();
+            int spaceLength;
+            if ( nounLength <= 14 )
+            {
+                spaceLength = 15 - nounLength;
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                nounString = nounString.substring( 0, 14 );
+                spaceLength = 1;
+            }
+
+            String spaces_first = String.format( "%" + spaceLength + "s", "" );
+            if ( nounKarma.toString().length() <= 9 )
+            {
+                spaceLength = 10 - nounKarma.toString().length();
+            }
+
+            String spaces_second = String.format( "%" + spaceLength + "s", "" );
+            return nounString + spaces_first + nounKarma + spaces_second + nounTitle;
+        } else {
+            return nounString + " has no donations";
+        }
+    }
+
+    private static class VoteEvent
+    {
+        private boolean[] topDonorDecisions;
+
+        private String decisionTarget;
+
+        VoteEvent()
+        {
+            topDonorDecisions = new boolean[4];
+            for ( int i = 0; i < 4; i++ )
+            {
+                topDonorDecisions[i] = false;
+            }
+            decisionTarget = null;
+        }
+
+        void updateVoteAye( int donorRank )
+        {
+            topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1] = true;
+        }
+
+        void updateVoteNay( int donorRank )
+        {
+            topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1] = false;
+        }
+
+        boolean getDonorVote( int donorRank )
+        {
+            return topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1];
+        }
+
+        boolean isDecisionYes()
+        {
+            int totalValue = 0;
+            if ( topDonorDecisions[0] )
+                totalValue += 5;
+            if ( topDonorDecisions[1] )
+                totalValue += 3;
+            if ( topDonorDecisions[2] )
+                totalValue += 3;
+            if ( topDonorDecisions[3] )
+                totalValue += 1;
+            return totalValue > 6;
+        }
+
+        void setDecisionTarget( String target )
+        {
+            decisionTarget = target;
+        }
+
+        String getDecisionTarget()
+        {
+            return decisionTarget;
+        }
+    }
+}

From f60a2e25ff8e5a874396bd0ba8a9c85ceba5a890 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 1 Aug 2021 19:49:20 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 50/79] Add Admin Commands, Cache Font Files, reuse old
 Password logic

---
 .../vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java   |  10 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java  |   4 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java |  75 ++---------
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiService.java        |  26 +++-
 .../admin/AdminManagementService.java         |  51 +++++++
 .../services/admin/AdminPingService.java      |  29 ++++
 .../vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java   |  40 ++++++
 .../vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java |  44 ++++++
 .../services/admin/NickChangeService.java     |  31 +++++
 .../vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java    |  83 ++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java   |  29 ++++
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java  |  91 +++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java | 125 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   2 -
 14 files changed, 570 insertions(+), 70 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
index f4d5bd21..eac87788 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
+import io.quarkus.runtime.ShutdownEvent;
 import io.quarkus.runtime.StartupEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 
@@ -19,8 +20,9 @@ public class BotStartupService {
     @Inject
     ClientCreator clientCreator;
 
+    Map<String, Client> botNameToClient = new HashMap<>();
+
     public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) throws InterruptedException {
-        Map<String, Client> botNameToClient = new HashMap<>();
         ircServices.stream().forEach(ircService -> {
             Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
                     clientCreator::createClient);
@@ -33,4 +35,10 @@ public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) throws InterruptedException {
             Thread.sleep(1000);
         }
     }
+
+    public void onShutdown(@Observes ShutdownEvent shutdownEvent) {
+        for (Client client : botNameToClient.values()) {
+            client.shutdown();
+        }
+    }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
index 696fb4c0..67b68d65 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
@@ -1,11 +1,13 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
 
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
 import org.apache.commons.lang3.StringUtils;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
 
 /**
  * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
@@ -33,7 +35,7 @@ public void addItem( String chatMessage )
 
     public String getLog()
     {
-        return redisClient.get( logKey ).toString();
+        return Optional.ofNullable(redisClient.get(logKey)).map(Response::toString).orElse("");
     }
 
     public void deleteLog()
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
index 135562ea..bd3c3a2a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
@@ -6,21 +6,12 @@
  */
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
 
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.HMAC;
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
-import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
-import org.wildfly.security.password.PasswordFactory;
-import org.wildfly.security.password.WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider;
-import org.wildfly.security.password.interfaces.MaskedPassword;
-import org.wildfly.security.password.spec.EncryptablePasswordSpec;
-import org.wildfly.security.password.spec.MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
 
-import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
-import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
-import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
-import java.security.spec.InvalidKeySpecException;
-import java.util.Base64;
 import java.util.List;
 import java.util.UUID;
 
@@ -31,28 +22,9 @@ public class PasswordDB
 
     private static final String keyOfPassSaltsHash = "password-salts";
 
-    private static final String PASSWORD_ALGORITHM = MaskedPassword.ALGORITHM_MASKED_HMAC_SHA512_AES_256;
-
-    private static final int ITERATION_COUNT = 10;
-
     @Inject
     RedisClient redisClient;
 
-    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.security.secret-key" )
-    String secretKey;
-
-    WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider passwordProvider;
-
-    PasswordFactory passwordFactory;
-
-    @PostConstruct
-    void setupPasswordFactory()
-        throws NoSuchAlgorithmException
-    {
-        passwordProvider = new WildFlyElytronPasswordProvider();
-        passwordFactory = PasswordFactory.getInstance( PASSWORD_ALGORITHM, passwordProvider );
-    }
-
     // Note, there is some overlap in terms between the crypto term "Secure Hash" and the Redis structure "Hash". Redis
     // hashes are maps, though called hashes because of a common method of implementing them via a hash function. Except
     // for keyOfPassHash and keyOfPassSaltsHash, every use of "hash" in this file refers to the cryptography term.
@@ -70,23 +42,10 @@ private String getSalt( String username )
         return redisClient.hget( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username ).toString();
     }
 
-    private MaskedPassword getMaskedPassword( String salt, String input )
+    private static String hash( String salt, String input )
     {
-        try
-        {
-            MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec maskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec =
-                new MaskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec( secretKey.toCharArray(), ITERATION_COUNT, salt.getBytes() );
-            EncryptablePasswordSpec encryptableSpec =
-                new EncryptablePasswordSpec( input.toCharArray(), maskedPasswordAlgorithmSpec );
-            passwordFactory.generatePassword( encryptableSpec );
-            return (MaskedPassword) passwordFactory.generatePassword( encryptableSpec );
-        }
-        catch ( InvalidKeySpecException e )
-        {
-            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to hash password", e );
-        }
+        return HMAC.generateHMAC(input, salt );
     }
-
     /**
      * Checks the validity of a password for a user
      * 
@@ -96,21 +55,12 @@ private MaskedPassword getMaskedPassword( String salt, String input )
      */
     public boolean isValidPassword( String username, String password )
     {
-        String storedBase64Hash = redisClient.hget( keyOfPassHash, username ).toString();
-        byte[] storedHash = Base64.getDecoder().decode( storedBase64Hash );
-        String salt = getSalt( username );
-
-        try
-        {
-            MaskedPassword rawPassword = MaskedPassword.createRaw( PASSWORD_ALGORITHM, secretKey.toCharArray(),
-                                                                   ITERATION_COUNT, salt.getBytes(), storedHash );
-            MaskedPassword userPassword = (MaskedPassword) passwordFactory.translate( rawPassword );
-            return passwordFactory.verify( userPassword, password.toCharArray() );
-        }
-        catch ( InvalidKeyException e )
-        {
+        Response storedHash = redisClient.hget(keyOfPassHash, username );
+        if (storedHash == null) {
             return false;
         }
+        String hash = hash( password, getSalt( username ) );
+        return hash.equals( storedHash.toString() );
     }
 
     /**
@@ -149,11 +99,12 @@ public boolean setUserPassword( String username, String password )
             if ( !exists )
             {
                 newUser = true;
+
                 String salt = generateSalt();
-                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt ) );
-                MaskedPassword hash = getMaskedPassword( password, salt );
-                String hashBase64String = Base64.getEncoder().encodeToString( hash.getMaskedPasswordBytes() );
-                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassHash, username, hashBase64String ) );
+                redisClient.hset( List.of(keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt) );
+
+                String hash = hash( password, salt );
+                redisClient.hset( List.of(keyOfPassHash, username, hash) );
             }
             else
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
index edf1abf6..546911d0 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
@@ -19,6 +20,7 @@
 import java.io.InputStream;
 import java.io.InputStreamReader;
 import java.net.URL;
+import java.nio.file.Files;
 import java.nio.file.Path;
 import java.util.ArrayList;
 import java.util.HashMap;
@@ -42,6 +44,9 @@ public class AsciiService
     @Inject
     LimitService limitCommand;
 
+    @ConfigProperty(name = "vilebot.ascii.font-directory", defaultValue = ".fonts")
+    Path fontDirectory;
+
     @PostConstruct
     public void constructFontMap() {
         fontNameToDataMap = new HashMap<>();
@@ -54,11 +59,24 @@ public void constructFontMap() {
                     .forEach(fontLocation -> {
                         try {
                             URL url = urlFactory.build(fontLocation);
-                            InputStreamReader inputStreamReader = new InputStreamReader(url.openStream());
+                            String fontFileName = Path.of(url.getFile()).getFileName().toString();
+                            Path fontFile = fontDirectory.resolve(fontFileName);
+                            InputStream fontFileInputStream;
+                            if (Files.exists(fontFile)) {
+                                fontFileInputStream = Files.newInputStream(fontFile);
+                            } else {
+                                fontFileInputStream = url.openStream();
+                            }
+                            InputStreamReader inputStreamReader = new InputStreamReader(fontFileInputStream);
                             BufferedReader bufferedReader = new BufferedReader(inputStreamReader);
-                            String fontFile = Path.of(url.getFile()).getFileName().toString();
-                            String fontName = fontFile.substring(0, fontFile.length() - 4);
-                            fontNameToDataMap.put(fontName, bufferedReader.lines().collect(Collectors.joining("\n")));
+
+                            String fontName = fontFileName.substring(0, fontFileName.length() - 4);
+                            String lines = bufferedReader.lines().collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
+                            fontNameToDataMap.put(fontName, lines);
+                            if (!Files.exists(fontFile)) {
+                                Files.createDirectories(fontFile.getParent());
+                                Files.writeString(fontFile, lines);
+                            }
                         } catch (IOException e) {
                             e.printStackTrace();
                         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ccb0d50d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,51 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class AdminManagementService {
+    @Inject
+    PasswordDB passwordDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @OnMessage("!setadmin @editedAdminNick @password")
+    public String setAdmin(User user, Nick editedAdminNick, String password) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
+        if (groupDB.noAdmins() || groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+            if (passwordDB.setUserPassword(editedAdminNick.getBaseNick(), password)) {
+                groupDB.addAdmin(editedAdminNick.getBaseNick());
+            }
+            return "Added/modified admin " + editedAdminNick.getBaseNick();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!remadmin @editedAdminNick")
+    public String removeAdmin(User user, Nick editedAdminNick)
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            if ( groupDB.remAdmin( editedAdminNick.getBaseNick() ) )
+            {
+                passwordDB.removeUserPassword( editedAdminNick.getBaseNick() );
+            }
+            return "Removed admin " + editedAdminNick;
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c8b32c91
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class AdminPingService {
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin ping")
+    public void onAdminPing(User user) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) ) {
+            user.sendMessage("You have an active admin session");
+        } else {
+            user.sendMessage("You do not have an active admin session");
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..13c360a9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,40 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class AuthService {
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    PasswordDB passwordDB;
+
+    final Duration MAX_SESSION_LENGTH = Duration.ofMinutes(5);
+    // It is odd to allow auth in channels, but apparently the previous version allowed it
+    @OnMessage("!admin auth @username @password")
+    public String login(User sender, Nick username, String password) {
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username.getBaseNick() ) && passwordDB.isValidPassword( username.getBaseNick(), password ) )
+        {
+            sessionService.addSession( Nick.getNick(sender), username.getBaseNick(), MAX_SESSION_LENGTH );
+            return "Authentication successful. Session active for " + MAX_SESSION_LENGTH.toMinutes() + " minutes.";
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "Authentication failed";
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..48cca01a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class GetLogService {
+
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Inject
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin showLog")
+    public String showLog(User sender) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
+        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+            return "Getting log...\n" + logDB.getLog();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin deleteLog")
+    public String deleteLog(User sender) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
+        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+            logDB.deleteLog();
+            return "Log deleted.";
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..2a086a0c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class NickChangeService {
+
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin nick @newNick")
+    public String changeNick(Client client, User sender, Nick newNick) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
+        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+            client.setNick(newNick.getFullNick());
+            return "Nick changed";
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..622e6e80
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,83 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class OpsService {
+
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin op @nickList")
+    public String autoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickList) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick(sender) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            StringBuilder successNicks = new StringBuilder();
+            StringBuilder failureNicks = new StringBuilder();
+
+            for ( Nick nick : nickList )
+            {
+                StringBuilder selectedSB;
+                if ( groupDB.addOp( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+                    selectedSB = successNicks;
+                else
+                    selectedSB = failureNicks;
+
+                selectedSB.append( nick );
+                selectedSB.append( " " );
+            }
+
+            StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+            if ( successNicks.length() > 0 )
+                out.append( "Added " + successNicks.toString() + "to operator group\n" );
+            if ( failureNicks.length() > 0 )
+                out.append( failureNicks.toString() + "was/were already in the operator group\n" );
+            return out.toString();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin unop @nickList")
+    public String removeAutoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickList) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick(sender) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            StringBuilder successNicks = new StringBuilder();
+            StringBuilder failureNicks = new StringBuilder();
+
+            for ( Nick nick : nickList )
+            {
+                StringBuilder selectedSB;
+                if ( groupDB.remOp( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
+                    selectedSB = successNicks;
+                else
+                    selectedSB = failureNicks;
+
+                selectedSB.append( nick );
+                selectedSB.append( " " );
+            }
+
+            StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
+            if ( successNicks.length() > 0 )
+                out.append( "Removed " + successNicks.toString() + "from operator group\n"  );
+            if ( failureNicks.length() > 0 )
+                out.append( failureNicks.toString() + "was/were not in the operator group" );
+            return out.toString();
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7689a1e2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.runtime.Quarkus;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class QuitService {
+    @Inject
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @OnMessage("!admin quit")
+    public void quit(User sender) {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            Quarkus.blockingExit();
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..0716adbe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
@@ -0,0 +1,91 @@
+/*
+  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+
+  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+ */
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
+import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
+
+import javax.crypto.Mac;
+import javax.crypto.spec.SecretKeySpec;
+
+import org.slf4j.Logger;
+import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
+
+public class HMAC
+{
+
+    private static Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( HMAC.class );
+
+    /**
+     * Generate an HMAC signature from message and key, using the SHA2 512 bit hash algo.
+     * 
+     * @param message The message to be signed
+     * @param key The key
+     * @return HMAC signature of message using key if no error, else null
+     */
+    public static String generateHMAC( String message, String key )
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return generateHMAC( "HmacSHA512", message, key );
+        }
+        catch ( NoSuchAlgorithmException e )
+        {
+            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
+            logger.error( "Hash algorithim unsupported" );
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Generate an HMAC signature from message and key, using the given hash algo.
+     * 
+     * @param algo An Hmac Algorithm to use, see {@link Mac#getInstance(String)}
+     * @param message The message to be signed
+     * @param key The key
+     * @return HMAC signature of message using key if no error, else null
+     */
+    public static String generateHMAC( String algo, String message, String key )
+        throws NoSuchAlgorithmException
+    {
+        Mac mac = Mac.getInstance( algo );
+        SecretKeySpec secret = new SecretKeySpec( key.getBytes(), algo );
+        try
+        {
+            mac.init( secret );
+
+            byte[] digest = mac.doFinal( message.getBytes() );
+            return bytesToHex( digest );
+        }
+        catch ( InvalidKeyException e )
+        {
+            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
+            logger.error( "Can't init Mac instance with key" );
+        }
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * http://stackoverflow.com/questions/9655181/convert-from-byte-array-to-hex-string-in-java
+     * 
+     * @param bytes byte array
+     * @return String of byte array converted to hex characters. Lower case alphabet.
+     */
+    private static String bytesToHex( byte[] bytes )
+    {
+        final char[] hexArray = { '0', '1', '2', '3', '4', '5', '6', '7', '8', '9', 'a', 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'f' };
+        char[] hexChars = new char[bytes.length * 2];
+        int v;
+        for ( int j = 0; j < bytes.length; j++ )
+        {
+            v = bytes[j] & 0xFF;
+            hexChars[j * 2] = hexArray[v >>> 4];
+            hexChars[j * 2 + 1] = hexArray[v & 0x0F];
+        }
+        return new String( hexChars );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1ca35381
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,125 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Map;
+import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+
+/**
+ * Provides record-keeping for time limited sessions.
+ */
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class SessionService {
+
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    private final int MASS_CLEANUP_THRESHOLD = 10;
+
+    private int queryCount = 0;
+
+    private final ConcurrentHashMap<String, SessionEntry> sessions = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
+
+    /**
+     * Create a session mapping a ircNick to an internal username, with a certain expiry time.
+     *
+     * @param ircNick The active identification of the user on IRC
+     * @param username The user name to permit them to use
+     * @param sessionlength The time in milliseconds until the session expires
+     */
+    public void addSession( Nick ircNick, String username, Duration sessionlength )
+    {
+        long nowMillis = timeService.getCurrentTimeMills();
+        sessions.put( ircNick.getBaseNick(), new SessionEntry( username, nowMillis + sessionlength.toMillis() ) );
+    }
+
+    private void cleanup()
+    {
+        if ( queryCount > MASS_CLEANUP_THRESHOLD )
+        {
+            queryCount = 0;
+            for ( Map.Entry<String, SessionEntry> sessionEntry : sessions.entrySet() )
+            {
+                String nick = sessionEntry.getKey();
+                SessionEntry session = sessionEntry.getValue();
+
+                if ( session.isExpired() )
+                {
+                    sessions.remove( nick );
+                }
+            }
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            queryCount++;
+        }
+
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Check for a valid session registered to the given nick.
+     *
+     * @param ircNick The active identification of the user on IRC
+     * @return If a valid session exists, the username the session is for. Otherwise, null.
+     */
+    public String getSession( Nick ircNick )
+    {
+        String username = null;
+
+        SessionEntry session = sessions.get( ircNick.getBaseNick() );
+
+        if ( session != null )
+        {
+            if ( !session.isExpired() )
+            {
+                username = session.getUsername();
+            }
+            else
+            {
+                sessions.remove( ircNick.getBaseNick() );
+            }
+        }
+
+        cleanup();
+
+        return username;
+    }
+
+    private class SessionEntry
+    {
+        private final long expiryMillis;
+
+        private final String username;
+
+        SessionEntry( String username, long expiryMillis )
+        {
+            this.username = username;
+            this.expiryMillis = expiryMillis;
+        }
+
+        long getExpiryMillis()
+        {
+            return expiryMillis;
+        }
+
+        String getUsername()
+        {
+            return username;
+        }
+
+        boolean isExpired()
+        {
+            return getExpiryMillis() < timeService.getCurrentTimeMills();
+        }
+
+        @Override
+        public String toString()
+        {
+            return "SessionEntry [expiryMillis=" + expiryMillis + ", username=" + username + "]";
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index f3a32e09..28eb0243 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -13,8 +13,6 @@ vilebot.markov.channel=${vilebot.default.channel}
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
 vilebot.irc.port=6667
 
-vilebot.security.secret-key=my-secret-key
-
 vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-key=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret=

From 56bf4cac1f99769e928c106906aa51554a0b5a89 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2021 20:56:22 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 51/79] Migrate to Quarkus 2.1.1.Final; rename packages;
 formatting

---
 quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml            |  27 +++-
 .../deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java     |  24 ++--
 .../bot}/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java  |   8 +-
 .../bot/test}/ExampleService.java             |   9 +-
 .../bot/test}/MockClientCreator.java          |   6 +-
 .../bot/test}/ServiceImplementationTest.java  |  10 +-
 quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml                       |   2 +-
 quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml               |  30 ++++-
 .../oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/Nick.java   |   2 +-
 .../{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/Bot.java |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/Delimiter.java           |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/NoHelp.java              |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java    |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/OnMessage.java           |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java    |   2 +-
 .../bot}/annotations/Regex.java               |   2 +-
 .../bot}/services/BotStartupService.java      |   2 +-
 .../bot}/services/ClientCreator.java          |   2 +-
 .../bot}/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java      |   2 +-
 .../bot}/services/HelpService.java            |   4 +-
 .../bot}/services/IRCService.java             |   2 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  17 +--
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java   |   2 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java  |   2 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java |  12 +-
 .../services/AnswerQuestionService.java       |  18 +--
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiService.java        | 121 ++++++++++--------
 .../vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java   |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchService.java       |  90 +++++++------
 .../vilebot/services/CountdownService.java    |  10 +-
 .../vilebot/services/DecideService.java       |   6 +-
 .../vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java      |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneService.java      |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java    |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/InspirationService.java  |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/JazizService.java        |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/JokesService.java        |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java    |   5 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |   6 +-
 .../services/KarmaTransferService.java        |   5 +-
 .../services/LastMessageSedService.java       |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java     |   3 +-
 .../vilebot/services/MarkovService.java       |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/NewsService.java         |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java      |   6 +-
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |   8 +-
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     |   6 +-
 .../services/RockPaperScissorsService.java    |  10 +-
 .../vilebot/services/SummonService.java       |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       |   6 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java |   2 +-
 .../services/TwitterCorrectionService.java    |   4 +-
 .../services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java    |   4 +-
 .../services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java    |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/UserListService.java     |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingService.java     |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      |   3 +-
 .../admin/AdminManagementService.java         |  28 ++--
 .../services/admin/AdminPingService.java      |  25 ++--
 .../vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java   |  20 +--
 .../vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java |  27 ++--
 .../services/admin/NickChangeService.java     |  19 +--
 .../vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java    |  25 ++--
 .../vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java   |  14 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java   |   2 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java    |   4 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java |   5 +-
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   3 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java    |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java       |  67 ++++++++++
 74 files changed, 468 insertions(+), 313 deletions(-)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java (98%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java (93%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot/test}/ExampleService.java (90%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot/test}/MockClientCreator.java (94%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot/test}/ServiceImplementationTest.java (97%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/Nick.java (98%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/Bot.java (80%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/Delimiter.java (80%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/NoHelp.java (78%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java (84%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/OnMessage.java (80%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java (81%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/annotations/Regex.java (80%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/services/BotStartupService.java (97%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/services/ClientCreator.java (76%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java (95%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/services/HelpService.java (90%)
 rename quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/{vilebot => irc/bot}/services/IRCService.java (97%)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
index c4d47e8e..a179096d 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/pom.xml
@@ -22,15 +22,34 @@
             <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
             <artifactId>quarkus-arc-deployment</artifactId>
         </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
+            <version>${project.version}</version>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-vertx-core-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-netty-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-jackson-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
         <dependency>
             <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
             <artifactId>quarkus-vertx-deployment</artifactId>
         </dependency>
-
         <dependency>
-            <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
-            <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
-            <version>${project.version}</version>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-mutiny-deployment</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-smallrye-context-propagation-deployment</artifactId>
         </dependency>
 
         <dependency>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
similarity index 98%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 2b16bc5b..1761d520 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -1,15 +1,15 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.HelpService;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.IRCService;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.deployment;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.NoHelp;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.HelpService;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.IRCService;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.gizmo.*;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
similarity index 93%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
index b36c4236..33254b53 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceProcessor.java
@@ -1,11 +1,11 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.deployment;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.deployment;
 
 import java.util.Collection;
 import java.util.HashSet;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanBuildItem;
 import io.quarkus.arc.deployment.GeneratedBeanGizmoAdaptor;
 import io.quarkus.deployment.annotations.BuildProducer;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
similarity index 90%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
index 7d78f819..f101d46f 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ExampleService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,9 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.test;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.NoHelp;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/MockClientCreator.java
similarity index 94%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/MockClientCreator.java
index dac0872d..274cf645 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/MockClientCreator.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -1,8 +1,7 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.test;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ClientCreator;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreator;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.MessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.CaseMapping;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.EventManager;
@@ -30,6 +29,7 @@ public class MockClientCreator implements ClientCreator {
     public Client createClient(String nick) {
         if (client == null) {
             client = Mockito.mock(Client.class);
+            System.out.println("Okay...");
             EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock(EventManager.class);
             Mockito.when(client.getName()).thenReturn(nick);
             Mockito.when(client.getNick()).thenReturn(nick);
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
similarity index 97%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
index d17dec06..eec92c49 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/ServiceImplementationTest.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.test;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.services.ClientCreatorImpl;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreatorImpl;
 import io.quarkus.test.QuarkusUnitTest;
 import io.smallrye.mutiny.tuples.Functions;
 import org.jboss.shrinkwrap.api.ShrinkWrap;
@@ -29,14 +30,13 @@ public class ServiceImplementationTest {
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.channel", "#channel")
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.default.nick", "Bot")
             .overrideConfigKey("vilebot.irc.server", "localhost")
-            .overrideConfigKey("quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives", "com.oldterns.vilebot.MockClientCreator")
+            .overrideConfigKey("quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives", "com.oldterns.irc.bot.test.MockClientCreator")
             .setArchiveProducer(() -> ShrinkWrap.create(JavaArchive.class)
                                                 .addClasses(ExampleService.class,
-                                                        MockClientCreator.class)
+                                                            MockClientCreator.class)
                                                 .deleteClass(ClientCreatorImpl.class)
             );
 
-    ExampleService exampleService;
     Functions.Function3<String, String, String, ChannelMessageEvent> fireMessage;
     BiFunction<String, String, PrivateMessageEvent> firePrivateMessage;
 
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
index e9d94e53..682ca9a4 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/pom.xml
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@
         <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
         <maven.compiler.release>11</maven.compiler.release>
         <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
-        <quarkus.version>1.11.1.Final</quarkus.version>
+        <quarkus.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus.version>
         <kitteh.version>8.0.0</kitteh.version>
         <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
     </properties>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
index 12bfe552..a48f3eeb 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/pom.xml
@@ -18,12 +18,40 @@
             <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
             <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
         </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-core</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-vertx-core</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-netty</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-jackson</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-vertx</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-mutiny</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+        <dependency>
+            <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+            <artifactId>quarkus-smallrye-context-propagation</artifactId>
+        </dependency>
+
 
         <dependency>
             <groupId>org.kitteh.irc</groupId>
             <artifactId>client-lib</artifactId>
         </dependency>
-
     </dependencies>
 
     <build>
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/Nick.java
similarity index 98%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/Nick.java
index 98feb135..25e8bc2a 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Nick.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/Nick.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot;
 
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Bot.java
similarity index 80%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Bot.java
index 04e37e17..6c98cdc7 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Bot.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Bot.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Delimiter.java
similarity index 80%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Delimiter.java
index a9ad3179..f403bf22 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Delimiter.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Delimiter.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/NoHelp.java
similarity index 78%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/NoHelp.java
index 83a70cbf..23578713 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/NoHelp.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/NoHelp.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
similarity index 84%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
index 9eaa682b..c1348c86 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnChannelMessage.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnMessage.java
similarity index 80%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnMessage.java
index cbacc5b1..886e6fec 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnMessage.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnMessage.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
similarity index 81%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
index c24afa24..a5bc708c 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/OnPrivateMessage.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Regex.java
similarity index 80%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Regex.java
index 7cf0c29a..40bd42c7 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/annotations/Regex.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/annotations/Regex.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations;
 
 import java.lang.annotation.Retention;
 import java.lang.annotation.RetentionPolicy;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
similarity index 97%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
index eac87788..883b0051 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.services;
 
 import io.quarkus.runtime.ShutdownEvent;
 import io.quarkus.runtime.StartupEvent;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreator.java
similarity index 76%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreator.java
index affa4694..2970b406 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreator.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreator.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.services;
 
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
similarity index 95%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
index 5af0d300..940fc5a0 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.services;
 
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/HelpService.java
similarity index 90%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/HelpService.java
index cecbca8a..ae40b2e4 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/HelpService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/HelpService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
similarity index 97%
rename from quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
rename to quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
index 9f4c5cdc..64040c3e 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/IRCService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+package com.oldterns.irc.bot.services;
 
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.ConfigProvider;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
index d2590549..d61216a4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
@@ -12,11 +12,10 @@
     <maven.compiler.target>11</maven.compiler.target>
     <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
     <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
-    <quarkus-plugin.version>1.13.2.Final</quarkus-plugin.version>
+    <quarkus-plugin.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus-plugin.version>
     <quarkus.platform.artifact-id>quarkus-universe-bom</quarkus.platform.artifact-id>
     <quarkus.platform.group-id>io.quarkus</quarkus.platform.group-id>
-    <quarkus.platform.version>1.13.2.Final</quarkus.platform.version>
-    <camel-quarkus.version>1.8.1</camel-quarkus.version>
+    <quarkus.platform.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus.platform.version>
     <surefire-plugin.version>3.0.0-M5</surefire-plugin.version>
     <maven-license-plugin.version>1.9.0</maven-license-plugin.version>
     <formatter-maven-plugin.version>2.8.1</formatter-maven-plugin.version>
@@ -25,14 +24,6 @@
 
   <dependencyManagement>
     <dependencies>
-      <dependency>
-        <groupId>org.apache.camel.quarkus</groupId>
-        <artifactId>camel-quarkus-bom</artifactId>
-        <version>${camel-quarkus.version}</version>
-        <type>pom</type>
-        <scope>import</scope>
-      </dependency>
-
       <dependency>
         <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
         <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
@@ -67,10 +58,6 @@
       <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
       <artifactId>quarkus-redis-client</artifactId>
     </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-elytron-security</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
 
     <dependency>
       <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
index 99e6aa13..3728e902 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
@@ -73,7 +73,7 @@ public void modDonorTitle( String noun, String newTitle )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getDonorKarma( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun )).map(Response::toLong);
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun ) ).map( Response::toLong );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
index 67b68d65..79d6c4c5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ public void addItem( String chatMessage )
 
     public String getLog()
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable(redisClient.get(logKey)).map(Response::toString).orElse("");
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.get( logKey ) ).map( Response::toString ).orElse( "" );
     }
 
     public void deleteLog()
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
index bd3c3a2a..68fd0eae 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
@@ -44,8 +44,9 @@ private String getSalt( String username )
 
     private static String hash( String salt, String input )
     {
-        return HMAC.generateHMAC(input, salt );
+        return HMAC.generateHMAC( input, salt );
     }
+
     /**
      * Checks the validity of a password for a user
      * 
@@ -55,8 +56,9 @@ private static String hash( String salt, String input )
      */
     public boolean isValidPassword( String username, String password )
     {
-        Response storedHash = redisClient.hget(keyOfPassHash, username );
-        if (storedHash == null) {
+        Response storedHash = redisClient.hget( keyOfPassHash, username );
+        if ( storedHash == null )
+        {
             return false;
         }
         String hash = hash( password, getSalt( username ) );
@@ -101,10 +103,10 @@ public boolean setUserPassword( String username, String password )
                 newUser = true;
 
                 String salt = generateSalt();
-                redisClient.hset( List.of(keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt) );
+                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt ) );
 
                 String hash = hash( password, salt );
-                redisClient.hset( List.of(keyOfPassHash, username, hash) );
+                redisClient.hset( List.of( keyOfPassHash, username, hash ) );
             }
             else
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
index 608805bd..b45267f8 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.w3c.dom.Document;
@@ -18,7 +18,8 @@
 import java.util.Scanner;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class AnswerQuestionService {
+public class AnswerQuestionService
+{
     private static final int MAX_RESPONSE = 500;
 
     @Inject
@@ -27,8 +28,9 @@ public class AnswerQuestionService {
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.wolfram.key" )
     String API_KEY;
 
-    @OnMessage("!tellme @question")
-    public String getAnswerForQuery(String question) {
+    @OnMessage( "!tellme @question" )
+    public String getAnswerForQuery( String question )
+    {
         String answer = getAnswer( question );
         return truncate( answer );
     }
@@ -48,11 +50,11 @@ private String getAnswer( String searchTerm )
     }
 
     private String makeURL( String searchTerm )
-            throws UnsupportedEncodingException
+        throws UnsupportedEncodingException
     {
         searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( searchTerm, "UTF-8" );
         return "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
-                + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
+            + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
     }
 
     private String getContent( String url )
@@ -61,7 +63,7 @@ private String getContent( String url )
         URLConnection connection;
         try
         {
-            connection = urlFactory.build(url).openConnection();
+            connection = urlFactory.build( url ).openConnection();
             Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
             scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
             content = scanner.next();
@@ -74,7 +76,7 @@ private String getContent( String url )
     }
 
     private String parseResponse( String response )
-            throws Exception
+        throws Exception
     {
         DocumentBuilderFactory documentBuilderFactory = DocumentBuilderFactory.newInstance();
         DocumentBuilder documentBuilder = documentBuilderFactory.newDocumentBuilder();
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
index 546911d0..fb4279c7 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
@@ -1,10 +1,10 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.github.lalyos.jfiglet.FigletFont;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
@@ -44,72 +44,85 @@ public class AsciiService
     @Inject
     LimitService limitCommand;
 
-    @ConfigProperty(name = "vilebot.ascii.font-directory", defaultValue = ".fonts")
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.ascii.font-directory", defaultValue = ".fonts" )
     Path fontDirectory;
 
     @PostConstruct
-    public void constructFontMap() {
+    public void constructFontMap()
+    {
         fontNameToDataMap = new HashMap<>();
-        try (InputStream fontListResource = AsciiService.class.getResourceAsStream("/fontlist.txt")) {
-            if (fontListResource == null) {
-                throw new IOException("/fontlist.txt does not exist");
+        try ( InputStream fontListResource = AsciiService.class.getResourceAsStream( "/fontlist.txt" ) )
+        {
+            if ( fontListResource == null )
+            {
+                throw new IOException( "/fontlist.txt does not exist" );
             }
-            new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(fontListResource))
-                    .lines()
-                    .forEach(fontLocation -> {
-                        try {
-                            URL url = urlFactory.build(fontLocation);
-                            String fontFileName = Path.of(url.getFile()).getFileName().toString();
-                            Path fontFile = fontDirectory.resolve(fontFileName);
-                            InputStream fontFileInputStream;
-                            if (Files.exists(fontFile)) {
-                                fontFileInputStream = Files.newInputStream(fontFile);
-                            } else {
-                                fontFileInputStream = url.openStream();
-                            }
-                            InputStreamReader inputStreamReader = new InputStreamReader(fontFileInputStream);
-                            BufferedReader bufferedReader = new BufferedReader(inputStreamReader);
-
-                            String fontName = fontFileName.substring(0, fontFileName.length() - 4);
-                            String lines = bufferedReader.lines().collect(Collectors.joining("\n"));
-                            fontNameToDataMap.put(fontName, lines);
-                            if (!Files.exists(fontFile)) {
-                                Files.createDirectories(fontFile.getParent());
-                                Files.writeString(fontFile, lines);
-                            }
-                        } catch (IOException e) {
-                            e.printStackTrace();
-                        }
-                    });
-        } catch (IOException e) {
-            throw new IllegalStateException("Unable to open /fontlist.txt", e);
+            new BufferedReader( new InputStreamReader( fontListResource ) ).lines().forEach( fontLocation -> {
+                try
+                {
+                    URL url = urlFactory.build( fontLocation );
+                    String fontFileName = Path.of( url.getFile() ).getFileName().toString();
+                    Path fontFile = fontDirectory.resolve( fontFileName );
+                    InputStream fontFileInputStream;
+                    if ( Files.exists( fontFile ) )
+                    {
+                        fontFileInputStream = Files.newInputStream( fontFile );
+                    }
+                    else
+                    {
+                        fontFileInputStream = url.openStream();
+                    }
+                    InputStreamReader inputStreamReader = new InputStreamReader( fontFileInputStream );
+                    BufferedReader bufferedReader = new BufferedReader( inputStreamReader );
+
+                    String fontName = fontFileName.substring( 0, fontFileName.length() - 4 );
+                    String lines = bufferedReader.lines().collect( Collectors.joining( "\n" ) );
+                    fontNameToDataMap.put( fontName, lines );
+                    if ( !Files.exists( fontFile ) )
+                    {
+                        Files.createDirectories( fontFile.getParent() );
+                        Files.writeString( fontFile, lines );
+                    }
+                }
+                catch ( IOException e )
+                {
+                    e.printStackTrace();
+                }
+            } );
+        }
+        catch ( IOException e )
+        {
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open /fontlist.txt", e );
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!ascii @font @message")
-    public String ascii(User user, @Regex("\\S+") String font, String message) {
-        try {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!ascii @font @message" )
+    public String ascii( User user, @Regex( "\\S+" ) String font, String message )
+    {
+        try
+        {
             limitCommand.addUse( user );
             return runAscii( font, message );
-        } catch (LimitExceededException e) {
+        }
+        catch ( LimitExceededException e )
+        {
             return e.getMessage();
         }
     }
 
-    @OnPrivateMessage("!ascii @font @message")
-    public String asciiPrivateMessage(@Regex("\\S+") String font, String message) {
+    @OnPrivateMessage( "!ascii @font @message" )
+    public String asciiPrivateMessage( @Regex( "\\S+" ) String font, String message )
+    {
         return runAscii( font, message );
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!asciifonts")
-    public void asciifonts(User user)
+    @OnMessage( "!asciifonts" )
+    public void asciifonts( User user )
     {
         StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
         sb.append( "Available fonts for !ascii:\n" );
         int i = 0;
-        for ( String font : fontNameToDataMap.keySet()
-                .stream()
-                .sorted().collect(Collectors.toList()) )
+        for ( String font : fontNameToDataMap.keySet().stream().sorted().collect( Collectors.toList() ) )
         {
             sb.append( String.format( "%20s ", font ) );
             if ( ( ( i + 1 ) % 5 ) == 0 )
@@ -118,12 +131,13 @@ public void asciifonts(User user)
             }
             i++;
         }
-        for (String line : sb.toString().split("\n")) {
-            user.sendMessage(line);
+        for ( String line : sb.toString().split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( line );
         }
     }
 
-    private String runAscii( String font, String message  )
+    private String runAscii( String font, String message )
     {
         String asciiArt;
         if ( fontNameToDataMap.containsKey( font ) )
@@ -164,7 +178,8 @@ private String getAsciiArt( String text, String font )
             String[] lines = splitMessage( text );
             for ( String line : lines )
             {
-                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( new ByteArrayInputStream(fontNameToDataMap.get(font).getBytes()), line ) );
+                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( new ByteArrayInputStream( fontNameToDataMap.get( font ).getBytes() ),
+                                                      line ) );
             }
             return sb.toString();
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
index 124185cd..8f4428e5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
index 1de7aff6..a2804f5a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
@@ -17,8 +17,9 @@
 import java.util.Set;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class ChurchService {
-    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds(30);
+public class ChurchService
+{
+    private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds( 30 );
 
     @Inject
     TimeService timeService;
@@ -31,15 +32,16 @@ public class ChurchService {
 
     VoteEvent currentVote = null;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!donate @donationAmount")
-    public String donate(User user, Integer donationAmount) {
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!donate @donationAmount" )
+    public String donate( User user, Integer donationAmount )
+    {
         if ( currentVote != null )
         {
-            return  "There is an ongoing vote, you cannot donate at this time.";
+            return "There is an ongoing vote, you cannot donate at this time.";
         }
 
         String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
-        long donorKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( donor ).orElse(0L);
+        long donorKarma = karmaDB.getNounKarma( donor ).orElse( 0L );
         if ( donationAmount <= 0 )
         {
             return "You cannot donate a non-positive number.";
@@ -52,7 +54,7 @@ else if ( donorKarma <= 0 || donorKarma < donationAmount )
         {
             churchDB.modDonorKarma( donor, donationAmount );
             karmaDB.modNounKarma( donor, -1 * donationAmount );
-            Long churchDonorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( donor ).orElse(null);
+            Long churchDonorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( donor ).orElse( null );
             if ( churchDonorKarma != null && churchDonorKarma - donationAmount <= 0 )
             {
                 churchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, " " );
@@ -61,16 +63,18 @@ else if ( donorKarma <= 0 || donorKarma < donationAmount )
         }
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!churchtotal")
-    public String churchTotal() {
+    @OnMessage( "!churchtotal" )
+    public String churchTotal()
+    {
         long totalDonations = churchDB.getTotalDonations();
         long churchTotal = totalDonations + churchDB.getTotalNonDonations();
         return "The church coffers contains " + churchTotal + ", of which " + totalDonations
-                + " was contributed by its loyal believers.";
+            + " was contributed by its loyal believers.";
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!topdonors")
-    public String topDonors() {
+    @OnMessage( "!topdonors" )
+    public String topDonors()
+    {
         Set<String> nouns;
         nouns = churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L );
         if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
@@ -79,10 +83,10 @@ public String topDonors() {
             out.append( "NICK           AMOUNT    TITLE\n" );
             for ( String noun : nouns )
             {
-                out.append(getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( noun ));
-                out.append('\n');
+                out.append( getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( noun ) );
+                out.append( '\n' );
             }
-            out.deleteCharAt(out.length() - 1);
+            out.deleteCharAt( out.length() - 1 );
             return out.toString();
         }
         else
@@ -91,10 +95,11 @@ public String topDonors() {
         }
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!settitle @newTitle")
-    public String setTitle(User user, String newTitle) {
+    @OnMessage( "!settitle @newTitle" )
+    public String setTitle( User user, String newTitle )
+    {
         String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
-        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse( null );
         if ( donorRank != null && donorRank > 4 )
         {
             return "You must be a top donor to set your title.";
@@ -110,17 +115,17 @@ public String setTitle(User user, String newTitle) {
         return donor + " is now to be referred to as " + newTitle + " instead of " + oldTitle + ".";
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!inquisit @toInquisit")
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!inquisit @toInquisit" )
     public String inquisit( ChannelMessageEvent event, User user, Nick toInquisit )
     {
         if ( currentVote != null )
         {
             return "There is an ongoing inquisition against " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget()
-                    + ". Please use !aye or !nay to decide their fate";
+                + ". Please use !aye or !nay to decide their fate";
         }
 
         String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
-        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse( null );
         if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
         {
             return "You must be a top donor to start an inquisition.";
@@ -141,15 +146,15 @@ public String inquisit( ChannelMessageEvent event, User user, Nick toInquisit )
         }
 
         String inquisitedNick = toInquisit.getBaseNick();
-        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( inquisitedNick ).orElse(null);
+        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( inquisitedNick ).orElse( null );
         if ( nounKarma == null || nounKarma == 0 )
         {
             return "You cannot start an inquisition against someone who has no donation value.";
         }
 
         startInquisitionVote( event.getChannel(), inquisitedNick, donorRank );
-        return "An inquisition has started against " + inquisitedNick
-                + ". Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n" + membersToPing;
+        return "An inquisition has started against " + inquisitedNick + ". Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+            + membersToPing;
 
     }
 
@@ -161,24 +166,27 @@ private synchronized void startInquisitionVote( Channel channel, String inquisit
         startTimer( channel );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!aye")
-    public String voteAye(User user) {
-        return vote(user, true);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!aye" )
+    public String voteAye( User user )
+    {
+        return vote( user, true );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage("!nay")
-    public String voteNay(User user) {
-        return vote(user, false);
+    @OnChannelMessage( "!nay" )
+    public String voteNay( User user )
+    {
+        return vote( user, false );
     }
 
-    public String vote(User user, boolean isAye) {
+    public String vote( User user, boolean isAye )
+    {
         if ( currentVote == null )
         {
             return "There is no ongoing vote.";
         }
 
         String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
-        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse(null);
+        Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse( null );
         if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
         {
             return "You must be a top donor to vote.";
@@ -205,7 +213,7 @@ public String vote(User user, boolean isAye) {
 
     private void startTimer( final Channel channel )
     {
-        timeService.onTimeout(TIMEOUT, () -> timeoutTimer(channel));
+        timeService.onTimeout( TIMEOUT, () -> timeoutTimer( channel ) );
     }
 
     private void timeoutTimer( Channel channel )
@@ -214,8 +222,8 @@ private void timeoutTimer( Channel channel )
         if ( currentVote.isDecisionYes() )
         {
             message += "The vote to inquisit " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " has passed. "
-                    + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " will be stripped of their karma.";
-            Long donorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() ).orElse(null);
+                + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " will be stripped of their karma.";
+            Long donorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() ).orElse( null );
             if ( donorKarma != null )
             {
                 churchDB.modNonDonorKarma( donorKarma.intValue() );
@@ -235,7 +243,7 @@ private void timeoutTimer( Channel channel )
 
     private String getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( String noun )
     {
-        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( noun ).orElse(null);
+        Long nounKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( noun ).orElse( null );
         String nounTitle = churchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
         StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
         sb.append( noun );
@@ -263,7 +271,9 @@ private String getReplyWithRankAndDonationAmount( String noun )
 
             String spaces_second = String.format( "%" + spaceLength + "s", "" );
             return nounString + spaces_first + nounKarma + spaces_second + nounTitle;
-        } else {
+        }
+        else
+        {
             return nounString + " has no donations";
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
index 429dde64..76b1d5f7 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@
 
 import bsh.EvalError;
 import bsh.Interpreter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import org.apache.commons.lang3.ArrayUtils;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
index 2f8ae8a8..499ec45a 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
@@ -6,9 +6,9 @@
  */
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
index 8f34c4dd..5bd8dfcd 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
index 0b73e465..171c2624 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ExcuseDB;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
index db46777f..e670b582 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
index 1ceea3eb..e1be3f76 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
index 69248def..99912215 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.ASCII;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
index f54a28f4..ff2f8c45 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
index b6755a93..247d47cb 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
index 0d1628b4..dcd97487 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.CharactersThatBreakEclipse;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
index 81f8f17e..166d2206 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
index 65da29fc..0e684a88 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
@@ -1,11 +1,10 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index adbb19d4..cdd65254 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.NoHelp;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.NoHelp;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
index c04f6ba5..38a7e23e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
@@ -1,10 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
index 05f54bf8..df6cf8b1 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
index 909a6480..b2d3c2d9 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LastSeenDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
@@ -12,7 +12,6 @@
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.text.SimpleDateFormat;
 import java.time.Instant;
-import java.time.LocalDateTime;
 import java.time.OffsetDateTime;
 import java.time.format.DateTimeFormatter;
 import java.util.Optional;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
index 02aabdd4..3f6a357c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Zalgo;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
index 5cd69d90..451488b8 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
index 89be3a37..1a9aa595 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
index 66aa2cbb..a6926138 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -1,9 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.QuoteFactDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.IgnoredUsers;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
index 8d35b3ca..e0d7a498 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
index f9ad5e7c..5b7bbd91 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
@@ -1,10 +1,10 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
index b3c8af7e..018d8d83 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
index 308a751c..66e5e7a0 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
@@ -2,9 +2,9 @@
 
 import com.fasterxml.jackson.databind.JsonNode;
 import com.fasterxml.jackson.databind.ObjectMapper;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Bot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Bot;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
index 2a68ac6c..918941ff 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
index dcffecc1..c10af295 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
index aac408ff..638771da 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
index 81062e9a..cb07fa8f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import twitter4j.Status;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
index c49d1007..8344d0fb 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.UserlistDB;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
index db58363f..bddef954 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
index 1e0ae00b..0c8d0cac 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreator;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
 import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
index ccb0d50d..27c48510 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
@@ -3,15 +3,16 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class AdminManagementService {
+public class AdminManagementService
+{
     @Inject
     PasswordDB passwordDB;
 
@@ -21,22 +22,25 @@ public class AdminManagementService {
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
 
-    @OnMessage("!setadmin @editedAdminNick @password")
-    public String setAdmin(User user, Nick editedAdminNick, String password) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
-        if (groupDB.noAdmins() || groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
-            if (passwordDB.setUserPassword(editedAdminNick.getBaseNick(), password)) {
-                groupDB.addAdmin(editedAdminNick.getBaseNick());
+    @OnMessage( "!setadmin @editedAdminNick @password" )
+    public String setAdmin( User user, Nick editedAdminNick, String password )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( user ) );
+        if ( groupDB.noAdmins() || groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            if ( passwordDB.setUserPassword( editedAdminNick.getBaseNick(), password ) )
+            {
+                groupDB.addAdmin( editedAdminNick.getBaseNick() );
             }
             return "Added/modified admin " + editedAdminNick.getBaseNick();
         }
         return null;
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!remadmin @editedAdminNick")
-    public String removeAdmin(User user, Nick editedAdminNick)
+    @OnMessage( "!remadmin @editedAdminNick" )
+    public String removeAdmin( User user, Nick editedAdminNick )
     {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( user ) );
         if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
             if ( groupDB.remAdmin( editedAdminNick.getBaseNick() ) )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
index c8b32c91..9c28f3a1 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
@@ -3,27 +3,32 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class AdminPingService {
+public class AdminPingService
+{
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
 
     @Inject
     GroupDB groupDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin ping")
-    public void onAdminPing(User user) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(user));
-        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) ) {
-            user.sendMessage("You have an active admin session");
-        } else {
-            user.sendMessage("You do not have an active admin session");
+    @OnMessage( "!admin ping" )
+    public void onAdminPing( User user )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( user ) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( "You have an active admin session" );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            user.sendMessage( "You do not have an active admin session" );
         }
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
index 13c360a9..c2dc5350 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
@@ -5,15 +5,16 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class AuthService {
+public class AuthService
+{
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
 
@@ -23,13 +24,16 @@ public class AuthService {
     @Inject
     PasswordDB passwordDB;
 
-    final Duration MAX_SESSION_LENGTH = Duration.ofMinutes(5);
+    final Duration MAX_SESSION_LENGTH = Duration.ofMinutes( 5 );
+
     // It is odd to allow auth in channels, but apparently the previous version allowed it
-    @OnMessage("!admin auth @username @password")
-    public String login(User sender, Nick username, String password) {
-        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username.getBaseNick() ) && passwordDB.isValidPassword( username.getBaseNick(), password ) )
+    @OnMessage( "!admin auth @username @password" )
+    public String login( User sender, Nick username, String password )
+    {
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username.getBaseNick() )
+            && passwordDB.isValidPassword( username.getBaseNick(), password ) )
         {
-            sessionService.addSession( Nick.getNick(sender), username.getBaseNick(), MAX_SESSION_LENGTH );
+            sessionService.addSession( Nick.getNick( sender ), username.getBaseNick(), MAX_SESSION_LENGTH );
             return "Authentication successful. Session active for " + MAX_SESSION_LENGTH.toMinutes() + " minutes.";
         }
         else
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
index 48cca01a..e395f65c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
@@ -3,15 +3,16 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class GetLogService {
+public class GetLogService
+{
 
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
@@ -22,19 +23,23 @@ public class GetLogService {
     @Inject
     LogDB logDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin showLog")
-    public String showLog(User sender) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
-        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+    @OnMessage( "!admin showLog" )
+    public String showLog( User sender )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
             return "Getting log...\n" + logDB.getLog();
         }
         return null;
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin deleteLog")
-    public String deleteLog(User sender) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
-        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
+    @OnMessage( "!admin deleteLog" )
+    public String deleteLog( User sender )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
             logDB.deleteLog();
             return "Log deleted.";
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
index 2a086a0c..7de67c4c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
@@ -3,15 +3,16 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class NickChangeService {
+public class NickChangeService
+{
 
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
@@ -19,11 +20,13 @@ public class NickChangeService {
     @Inject
     GroupDB groupDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin nick @newNick")
-    public String changeNick(Client client, User sender, Nick newNick) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender));
-        if (groupDB.isAdmin(username)) {
-            client.setNick(newNick.getFullNick());
+    @OnMessage( "!admin nick @newNick" )
+    public String changeNick( Client client, User sender, Nick newNick )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
+        if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
+        {
+            client.setNick( newNick.getFullNick() );
             return "Nick changed";
         }
         return null;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
index 622e6e80..9b1d0f86 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
@@ -5,15 +5,16 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.Delimiter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Delimiter;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class OpsService {
+public class OpsService
+{
 
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
@@ -21,9 +22,10 @@ public class OpsService {
     @Inject
     GroupDB groupDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin op @nickList")
-    public String autoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickList) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick(sender) );
+    @OnMessage( "!admin op @nickList" )
+    public String autoOpNicks( User sender, @Delimiter( "\\s+" ) List<Nick> nickList )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
         if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
             StringBuilder successNicks = new StringBuilder();
@@ -51,9 +53,10 @@ public String autoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickList) {
         return null;
     }
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin unop @nickList")
-    public String removeAutoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickList) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick(sender) );
+    @OnMessage( "!admin unop @nickList" )
+    public String removeAutoOpNicks( User sender, @Delimiter( "\\s+" ) List<Nick> nickList )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
         if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
             StringBuilder successNicks = new StringBuilder();
@@ -73,7 +76,7 @@ public String removeAutoOpNicks(User sender, @Delimiter("\\s+") List<Nick> nickL
 
             StringBuilder out = new StringBuilder();
             if ( successNicks.length() > 0 )
-                out.append( "Removed " + successNicks.toString() + "from operator group\n"  );
+                out.append( "Removed " + successNicks.toString() + "from operator group\n" );
             if ( failureNicks.length() > 0 )
                 out.append( failureNicks.toString() + "was/were not in the operator group" );
             return out.toString();
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
index 7689a1e2..3638dbd6 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
@@ -3,24 +3,26 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
 import io.quarkus.runtime.Quarkus;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class QuitService {
+public class QuitService
+{
     @Inject
     SessionService sessionService;
 
     @Inject
     GroupDB groupDB;
 
-    @OnMessage("!admin quit")
-    public void quit(User sender) {
-        String username = sessionService.getSession(Nick.getNick(sender) );
+    @OnMessage( "!admin quit" )
+    public void quit( User sender )
+    {
+        String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( sender ) );
         if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
             Quarkus.blockingExit();
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
index 1b735052..6f33f6dd 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
index 33073dd7..dbff1090 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
@@ -1,11 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.user.PrivateMessageEvent;
 
 import java.util.Collection;
 import java.util.Collections;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
index 1ca35381..2b5aaeef 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
@@ -7,13 +7,14 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 
 /**
  * Provides record-keeping for time limited sessions.
  */
 @ApplicationScoped
-public class SessionService {
+public class SessionService
+{
 
     @Inject
     TimeService timeService;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 28eb0243..e72d11c4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -7,11 +7,12 @@ vilebot.countdown.channel=#countdown
 vilebot.markov.channel=${vilebot.default.channel}
 
 # Test configuration
-%test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory
+%test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory,com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MockClientCreator
 
 # Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
 vilebot.irc.port=6667
+quarkus.redis.hosts=redis://localhost:6379
 
 vilebot.pastebin.api.url=
 vilebot.twitter.consumer-key=
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
index 2b016704..98192365 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
index 2b7dde1d..8198e936 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
@@ -1,9 +1,9 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreator;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
 import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
 import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
-import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
 import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a7f65220
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.lang.reflect.InvocationTargetException;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.Arrays;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.function.Consumer;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.enterprise.inject.Alternative;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreator;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.MessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.CaseMapping;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.EventManager;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.feature.ServerInfo;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.doAnswer;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+@Alternative
+public class MockClientCreator
+    implements ClientCreator
+{
+    static Client client;
+
+    static List<Consumer<MessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
+
+    @Override
+    public Client createClient( String nick )
+    {
+        if ( client == null )
+        {
+            client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+            EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock( EventManager.class );
+            Mockito.when( client.getName() ).thenReturn( nick );
+            Mockito.when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( nick );
+            Mockito.when( client.getEventManager() ).thenReturn( eventManager );
+            ServerInfo serverInfo = Mockito.mock( ServerInfo.class );
+            Mockito.when( client.getServerInfo() ).thenReturn( serverInfo );
+            Mockito.when( serverInfo.getCaseMapping() ).thenReturn( CaseMapping.ASCII );
+            doAnswer( invocationOnMock -> {
+                Object object = invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 );
+                Arrays.stream( object.getClass().getMethods() ).filter( method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1
+                    && MessageEvent.class.isAssignableFrom( method.getParameterTypes()[0] ) ).forEach( method -> eventListeners.add( event -> {
+                        try
+                        {
+                            if ( method.getParameterTypes()[0].isAssignableFrom( event.getClass() ) )
+                            {
+                                method.invoke( object, event );
+                            }
+                        }
+                        catch ( InvocationTargetException | IllegalAccessException e )
+                        {
+                            throw new IllegalStateException( e );
+                        }
+                    } ) );
+
+                return null;
+            } ).when( eventManager ).registerEventListener( any() );
+        }
+        return client;
+    }
+}

From 9a5ed40c5cc400dd9f2f1c51b019cf8fe20e34d2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2021 21:23:31 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 52/79] Add karma announcer; make @OnMessage and @Handler work
 on all bots

---
 .../irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java   |  2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |  3 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        | 33 ++++++++++++++-----
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |  1 +
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingService.java     |  3 +-
 5 files changed, 31 insertions(+), 11 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
index 883b0051..ca73eb3c 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -26,12 +26,12 @@ public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) throws InterruptedException {
         ircServices.stream().forEach(ircService -> {
             Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
                     clientCreator::createClient);
-            client.getEventManager().registerEventListener(ircService);
             ircService.getChannelsToJoin().forEach(client::addChannel);
             ircService.setBot(client);
         });
         for (Client client : botNameToClient.values()) {
             client.connect();
+            ircServices.stream().forEach(client.getEventManager()::registerEventListener);
             Thread.sleep(1000);
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
index 166d2206..93130f1e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
 import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
@@ -54,7 +55,7 @@ public void constructQueryToKaomojiListMap()
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!kaomoji @query" )
+    @OnMessage( "!kaomoji @query" )
     public String getKaomoji( String query )
     {
         String kaomoji = "";
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index cdd65254..c25ea4c2 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -3,14 +3,20 @@
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.IgnoredUsers;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelJoinEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import javax.inject.Named;
+
+import java.util.Objects;
 import java.util.Optional;
 import java.util.Set;
 import java.util.stream.Collectors;
@@ -28,13 +34,25 @@ public class KarmaService
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!total" )
+    @Inject
+    IgnoredUsers ignoredUsers;
+
+    @Handler
+    public String onUserJoin( ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent )
+    {
+        Nick noun = Nick.getNick( channelJoinEvent.getUser() );
+        if ( !ignoredUsers.getOnJoin().contains( noun ) )
+            return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun.getBaseNick(), false, false, true );
+        return null;
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!total" )
     public String total()
     {
         return "" + karmaDB.getTotalKarma();
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!topthree" )
+    @OnMessage( "!topthree" )
     public String getTopThree()
     {
         Set<String> nouns = karmaDB.getRankNouns( 0L, 2L );
@@ -49,7 +67,7 @@ public String getTopThree()
         }
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!bottomthree" )
+    @OnMessage( "!bottomthree" )
     public String getBottomThree()
     {
         Set<String> nouns = karmaDB.getRevRankNouns( 0L, 2L );
@@ -65,7 +83,6 @@ public String getBottomThree()
     }
 
     @OnChannelMessage( "@channelMessage" )
-    // TODO: Maybe replace this with a custom help command?
     @NoHelp
     public String karmaIncOrDec( User user, String channelMessage )
     {
@@ -124,25 +141,25 @@ else if ( noun.endsWith( "+-" ) )
         return out.toString();
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!rank @nick" )
+    @OnMessage( "!rank @nick" )
     public String rank( Nick nick )
     {
         return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( nick.getBaseNick() );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank @nick" )
+    @OnMessage( "!revrank @nick" )
     public String revrank( Nick nick )
     {
         return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( nick.getBaseNick(), true );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!rank" )
+    @OnMessage( "!rank" )
     public String selfRank( User user )
     {
         return rank( Nick.getNick( user ) );
     }
 
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!revrank" )
+    @OnMessage( "!revrank" )
     public String selfRevrank( User user )
     {
         return revrank( Nick.getNick( user ) );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
index a6926138..eb4c973e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -67,6 +67,7 @@ public class QuotesAndFactsService
     public String onJoin( ChannelJoinEvent event )
     {
         Nick nick = Nick.getNick( event.getUser() );
+        System.out.println( nick + " has joined" );
         if ( !ignoredUsers.getOnJoin().contains( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
         {
             String out;
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
index bddef954..2202e119 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -9,7 +10,7 @@
 @ApplicationScoped
 public class UserPingService
 {
-    @OnChannelMessage( "!ping" )
+    @OnMessage( "!ping" )
     public String ping( User user )
     {
         return Nick.getNick( user ).getFullNick() + ": pong";

From 5af1cb696d01b5328972a87cb59bf3f2f753ffdc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2021 17:23:36 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 53/79] Add additional unit tests

---
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |  34 +-
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     |   2 +-
 .../services/RockPaperScissorsService.java    |  27 +-
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       |   8 +-
 .../services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java    |  14 +-
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java |  14 +
 .../vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java      |  81 +++
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |   2 +-
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java  | 179 +++++
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java   | 645 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java |  93 +++
 .../RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java         | 222 ++++++
 .../vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java   |  92 +++
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java   | 142 ++++
 .../TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java         |  18 +
 .../UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java         | 109 +++
 .../vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java       |  54 +-
 .../vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java        |  33 +
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    |   6 +
 .../vilebot/services/trivia-example.json      |  33 +
 .../src/test/resources/wordlist.txt           |   3 +
 21 files changed, 1738 insertions(+), 73 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
index eb4c973e..f491db84 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.IgnoredUsers;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 import net.engio.mbassy.listener.Handler;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
@@ -54,6 +55,9 @@ public class QuotesAndFactsService
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
+    @Inject
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
     // cache fact and quote dump links
     private Map<String, String> dumpCache = new HashMap<>();
 
@@ -67,10 +71,8 @@ public class QuotesAndFactsService
     public String onJoin( ChannelJoinEvent event )
     {
         Nick nick = Nick.getNick( event.getUser() );
-        System.out.println( nick + " has joined" );
         if ( !ignoredUsers.getOnJoin().contains( nick.getBaseNick() ) )
         {
-            String out;
             if ( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() )
             {
                 return replyWithFact( nick.getBaseNick(), event, false );
@@ -178,7 +180,7 @@ private String dumpToPastebin( String title, Set<String> allQuotes )
             sb.append( URLEncoder.encode( quote + "\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) );
         }
 
-        URL url = new URL( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+        URL url = urlFactory.build( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
         HttpURLConnection conn = (HttpURLConnection) url.openConnection();
         conn.setDoOutput( true );
         conn.setRequestMethod( "POST" );
@@ -194,33 +196,35 @@ private String dumpToPastebin( String title, Set<String> allQuotes )
     }
 
     @OnMessage( "!factrandom5 @queried" )
-    public String factRandomDump( Nick queried )
+    public void factRandomDump( User user, Nick queried )
     {
-        return factQuoteRandomDump( "fact", queried.getBaseNick() );
+        factQuoteRandomDump( user, "fact", queried.getBaseNick() );
     }
 
     @OnMessage( "!quoterandom5 @queried" )
-    public String quoteRandomDump( Nick queried )
+    public void quoteRandomDump( User user, Nick queried )
     {
-        return factQuoteRandomDump( "quote", queried.getBaseNick() );
+        factQuoteRandomDump( user, "quote", queried.getBaseNick() );
     }
 
-    private String factQuoteRandomDump( String mode, String queried )
+    private void factQuoteRandomDump( User user, String mode, String queried )
     {
         if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
         {
             Long factsLength = quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( queried );
             if ( factsLength == 0 )
             {
-                return queried + " has no facts.";
+                user.sendMessage( queried + " has no facts." );
             }
             else if ( factsLength <= 5 )
             {
-                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getFacts( queried ) );
+                quoteFactDB.getFacts( queried ).forEach( replyText -> user.sendMessage( formatFactReply( getTitle( queried ),
+                                                                                                         replyText ) ) );
             }
             else
             {
-                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getRandomFacts( queried ) );
+                quoteFactDB.getRandomFacts( queried ).forEach( replyText -> user.sendMessage( formatFactReply( getTitle( queried ),
+                                                                                                               replyText ) ) );
             }
         }
         else
@@ -228,15 +232,17 @@ else if ( factsLength <= 5 )
             Long quotesLength = quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( queried );
             if ( quotesLength == 0 )
             {
-                return queried + " has no quotes.";
+                user.sendMessage( queried + " has no quotes." );
             }
             else if ( quotesLength <= 5 )
             {
-                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getQuotes( queried ) );
+                quoteFactDB.getQuotes( queried ).forEach( replyText -> user.sendMessage( formatQuoteReply( getTitle( queried ),
+                                                                                                           replyText ) ) );
             }
             else
             {
-                return String.join( "\n", quoteFactDB.getRandomQuotes( queried ) );
+                quoteFactDB.getRandomQuotes( queried ).forEach( replyText -> user.sendMessage( formatQuoteReply( getTitle( queried ),
+                                                                                                                 replyText ) ) );
             }
         }
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
index e0d7a498..4a13562e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ public String remindMe( User user, String message, Integer length, @Regex( "\\S"
         }
 
         final String userKey = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
-        if ( userToReminderCount.getOrDefault( userKey, 0 ) > 10 )
+        if ( userToReminderCount.getOrDefault( userKey, 0 ) >= 10 )
         {
             return "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one.";
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
index 5b7bbd91..da726a7d 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
@@ -13,7 +13,6 @@
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
 import java.util.Optional;
-import java.util.Random;
 import java.util.concurrent.locks.Lock;
 import java.util.concurrent.locks.ReentrantLock;
 
@@ -25,13 +24,9 @@
 public class RockPaperScissorsService
 {
 
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
+    static final String RED = "\u000304";
 
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
-
-    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
-
-    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
+    static final String RESET = "\u000f";
 
     @Inject
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
@@ -132,11 +127,10 @@ public String onContestantAnswer( User contestantUser, @Regex( "rock|paper|sciss
                         currentGame.getEvent().sendReply( currentGame.getRPSOutro() );
                         currentGame = null;
                     }
-                    return String.format( "Your submission of %s has been recieved!", submission );
+                    return String.format( "Your submission of %s has been received!", submission );
                 }
                 catch ( Exception e )
                 {
-                    e.printStackTrace();
                     return e.getMessage();
                 }
             }
@@ -168,19 +162,17 @@ private static class RPSGame
     {
         private static final String[] answers = { "rock", "paper", "scissors" };
 
-        private String callerNick;
+        private final String callerNick;
 
-        private String daredNick;
+        private final String daredNick;
 
-        private String callerAnswer;
+        private final String daredThing;
 
-        private String daredAnswer;
+        private final ChannelMessageEvent event;
 
-        private String daredThing;
-
-        private ChannelMessageEvent event;
+        private String callerAnswer;
 
-        Random rand = new Random();
+        private String daredAnswer;
 
         RPSGame( String callerNick, String daredNick, String daredThing, ChannelMessageEvent event,
                  RandomProvider randomProvider )
@@ -191,7 +183,6 @@ private static class RPSGame
             this.daredAnswer = null;
             this.daredThing = daredThing;
             this.event = event;
-            rand = new Random();
             if ( daredNick.equals( event.getClient().getNick() ) )
             {
                 this.daredAnswer = randomProvider.getRandomElement( answers );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
index 66e5e7a0..c155882c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
@@ -30,13 +30,13 @@ public class TriviaService
 
     private static final Duration TIMEOUT = Duration.ofSeconds( 30 );
 
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
+    static final String RED = "\u000304";
 
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
+    static final String RESET = "\u000f";
 
-    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
+    static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
 
-    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
+    static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
 
     private static final Integer RECURSION_LIMIT = 10;
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
index cb07fa8f..83cb8c60 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.Regex;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TwitterService;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import twitter4j.Status;
@@ -12,6 +13,8 @@
 import twitter4j.conf.ConfigurationBuilder;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
 import java.net.MalformedURLException;
 import java.net.URL;
 import java.util.Optional;
@@ -31,6 +34,9 @@ public class UrlTweetAnnouncerService
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret" )
     Optional<String> accessTokenSecret; // may be known as 'Access token secret'
 
+    @Inject
+    TwitterService twitterService;
+
     @OnChannelMessage( "@message" )
     public String onTwitterUrlMessage( Client client,
                                        @Regex( "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:twitter)\\.com)[^ ]*)" ) String message )
@@ -81,18 +87,14 @@ private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( Client client, String url )
         {
             try
             {
-                ConfigurationBuilder cb = new ConfigurationBuilder();
-                cb.setDebugEnabled( true ).setOAuthConsumerKey( consumerKey.get() ).setOAuthConsumerSecret( consumerSecret.get() ).setOAuthAccessToken( accessToken.get() ).setOAuthAccessTokenSecret( accessTokenSecret.get() );
-                TwitterFactory tf = new TwitterFactory( cb.build() );
-                Twitter twitter = tf.getInstance();
                 if ( tweetID != 0 ) // tweet of the twitter.com/USERID/status/TWEETID variety
                 {
-                    Status status = twitter.showStatus( tweetID );
+                    Status status = twitterService.getStatus( tweetID );
                     return ( status.getUser().getName() + ": " + status.getText() );
                 }
                 else // just the user is given, ie, twitter.com/USERID
                 {
-                    User user = twitter.showUser( parts[userPosition].toString() );
+                    User user = twitterService.getUser( parts[userPosition].toString() );
                     if ( !user.getDescription().isEmpty() ) // the user has a description
                         return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + " | " + user.getDescription() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'"
                             + user.getStatus().getText() );
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c2d0e921
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import twitter4j.Status;
+import twitter4j.TwitterException;
+import twitter4j.User;
+
+public interface TwitterService
+{
+    Status getStatus( long tweetId )
+        throws TwitterException;
+
+    User getUser( String userId )
+        throws TwitterException;
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..1e8333bd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
@@ -0,0 +1,81 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import javax.annotation.PostConstruct;
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import twitter4j.Status;
+import twitter4j.Twitter;
+import twitter4j.TwitterException;
+import twitter4j.TwitterFactory;
+import twitter4j.User;
+import twitter4j.conf.ConfigurationBuilder;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TwitterServiceImpl
+    implements TwitterService
+{
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-key" )
+    Optional<String> consumerKey; // may be known as 'API key'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret" )
+    Optional<String> consumerSecret; // may be known as 'API secret'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token" )
+    Optional<String> accessToken; // may be known as 'Access token'
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret" )
+    Optional<String> accessTokenSecret; // may be known as 'Access token secret'
+
+    Twitter twitter;
+
+    @PostConstruct
+    public void setupTwitter()
+    {
+        if ( consumerKey.isPresent() && consumerSecret.isPresent() && accessToken.isPresent()
+            && accessTokenSecret.isPresent() )
+        {
+            try
+            {
+                ConfigurationBuilder cb = new ConfigurationBuilder();
+                cb.setDebugEnabled( true ).setOAuthConsumerKey( consumerKey.get() ).setOAuthConsumerSecret( consumerSecret.get() ).setOAuthAccessToken( accessToken.get() ).setOAuthAccessTokenSecret( accessTokenSecret.get() );
+                TwitterFactory tf = new TwitterFactory( cb.build() );
+                twitter = tf.getInstance();
+            }
+            catch ( Exception ignored )
+            {
+
+            }
+        }
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public Status getStatus( long tweetId )
+        throws TwitterException
+    {
+        if ( twitter != null )
+        {
+            return twitter.showStatus( tweetId );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            throw new TwitterException( "API Keys invalid or missing" );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public User getUser( String userId )
+        throws TwitterException
+    {
+        if ( twitter != null )
+        {
+            return twitter.showUser( userId );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            throw new TwitterException( "API Keys invalid or missing" );
+        }
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
index e72d11c4..52ba84b6 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ vilebot.countdown.channel=#countdown
 vilebot.markov.channel=${vilebot.default.channel}
 
 # Test configuration
-%test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory,com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MockClientCreator
+%test.quarkus.arc.selected-alternatives=com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestURLFactory,com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestLimitService,com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MockClientCreator
 
 # Private configuration, define these in the ".env" file at project root.
 vilebot.irc.server=example.irc.server
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e2557e5f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,179 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.anyInt;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.anyList;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class OmgwordServiceTest
+{
+    @Inject
+    OmgwordService omgwordService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGameNoAnswer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( anyList() ) ).thenReturn( "test" );
+
+        // test -> estt
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 0 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!omgword" );
+        assertThat( omgwordService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Welcome to omgword!\n"
+            + "For 2 karma:\n" + "estt\n" + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> runnableArgumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), runnableArgumentCaptor.capture() );
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        runnableArgumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Game over! The correct answer was: test" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "unchecked", "rawtypes" } )
+    public void testGameWrongAnswer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( anyList() ) ).thenReturn( "test" );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        // test -> estt
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 0 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!omgword" );
+        assertThat( omgwordService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Welcome to omgword!\n"
+            + "For 2 karma:\n" + "estt\n" + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> runnableArgumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), runnableArgumentCaptor.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( omgwordService.onAnswer( user,
+                                             "dog" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! That is incorrect, you lose 2 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -2 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        // Cancel the game so other tests work
+        runnableArgumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "unchecked", "rawtypes" } )
+    public void testGameRightAnswer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( anyList() ) ).thenReturn( "test" );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        // test -> estt
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 0 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!omgword" );
+        assertThat( omgwordService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Welcome to omgword!\n"
+            + "For 2 karma:\n" + "estt\n" + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+        assertThat( omgwordService.onAnswer( user, "test" ) ).isEqualTo( "Congrats bob, you win 2 karma!" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 2 );
+        verify( future ).cancel( true );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "unchecked", "rawtypes" } )
+    public void testGameAmbigiousAnswers()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( anyList() ) ).thenReturn( "dog" );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        // dog -> odg
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 0 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!omgword" );
+        assertThat( omgwordService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Welcome to omgword!\n"
+            + "For 1 karma:\n" + "odg\n" + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+        assertThat( omgwordService.onAnswer( user, "god" ) ).isEqualTo( "Congrats bob, you win 1 karma!" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 1 );
+        verify( future ).cancel( true );
+
+        // dog -> odg
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 0 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+        assertThat( omgwordService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Welcome to omgword!\n"
+            + "For 1 karma:\n" + "odg\n" + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+        assertThat( omgwordService.onAnswer( user, "dog" ) ).isEqualTo( "Congrats bob, you win 1 karma!" );
+        verify( karmaDB, times( 2 ) ).modNounKarma( "bob", 1 );
+        verify( future, times( 2 ) ).cancel( true );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e9df90b5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,645 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.io.OutputStream;
+import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.LinkedHashSet;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.QuoteFactDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.IgnoredUsers;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectSpy;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelJoinEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class QuotesAndFactsServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    QuotesAndFactsService quotesAndFactsService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @InjectSpy
+    URLFactory urlFactory;
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.pastebin.api.url" )
+    String PASTEBIN_API_URL;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    QuoteFactDB quoteFactDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    IgnoredUsers ignoredUsers;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    JazizService jazizService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testIgnoreIngoredUsersOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "ignored" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( ignoredUsers.getOnJoin() ).thenReturn( Set.of( "ignored" ) );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isNull();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "this is a quote" );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"this is a quote\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "this is a fact" );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "bob this is a fact" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopDonorQuoteOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "this is a quote" );
+        when( churchDB.isTopDonor( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "king bob" );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "king bob once said, \"this is a quote\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopDonorFactOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "this is a fact" );
+        when( churchDB.isTopDonor( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "king bob" );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "king bob this is a fact" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteWithNoQuotesOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( null );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactWithNoFactsOnJoin()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomBoolean() ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( null );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteAdd()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteAdd( user, nick,
+                                                    "it a wonderful day today" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"it a wonderful day today\"." );
+        verify( quoteFactDB ).addQuote( nick.getBaseNick(), "it a wonderful day today" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactAdd()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factAdd( user, nick, "is bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob is bob" );
+        verify( quoteFactDB ).addFact( nick.getBaseNick(), "is bob" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSelfQuoteAdd()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteAdd( user, nick,
+                                                    "it a wonderful day today" ) ).isEqualTo( "Quotes from yourself are both terrible and uninteresting." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( quoteFactDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSelfFactAdd()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factAdd( user, nick,
+                                                   "it a wonderful day today" ) ).isEqualTo( "Facts from yourself are both terrible and uninteresting." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( quoteFactDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testEmptyQuoteDump()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotes( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testEmptyFactDump()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFacts( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no facts." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteDump()
+        throws IOException
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotes( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "quote 1", "quote 2",
+                                                                                         "quote 3" ) ) );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "", PASTEBIN_API_URL, null, 302 );
+        HttpURLConnection connection = urlMocker.getConnection( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+
+        OutputStream outputStream = Mockito.mock( OutputStream.class );
+        when( connection.getOutputStream() ).thenReturn( outputStream );
+        when( connection.getHeaderField( "Location" ) ).thenReturn( "quote-pastebin-link" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "quotedump for bob: quote-pastebin-link" );
+        String input =
+            "format=text&code2=" + "bob's quotes" + "\n\n" + URLEncoder.encode( "quote 1\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 )
+                + URLEncoder.encode( "quote 2\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 )
+                + URLEncoder.encode( "quote 3\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) + "&poster=vilebot&paste=Send&expiry=m";
+        ArgumentCaptor<byte[]> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( byte[].class );
+        verify( outputStream ).write( argumentCaptor.capture() );
+        assertThat( new String( argumentCaptor.getValue() ) ).isEqualTo( input );
+        verify( outputStream ).flush();
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "quotedump for bob: quote-pastebin-link" );
+        verify( urlFactory, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).build( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactDump()
+        throws IOException
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFacts( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "fact 1", "fact 2",
+                                                                                        "fact 3" ) ) );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "", PASTEBIN_API_URL, null, 302 );
+        HttpURLConnection connection = urlMocker.getConnection( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+
+        OutputStream outputStream = Mockito.mock( OutputStream.class );
+        when( connection.getOutputStream() ).thenReturn( outputStream );
+        when( connection.getHeaderField( "Location" ) ).thenReturn( "fact-pastebin-link" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "factdump for bob: fact-pastebin-link" );
+        String input =
+            "format=text&code2=" + "bob's facts" + "\n\n" + URLEncoder.encode( "fact 1\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 )
+                + URLEncoder.encode( "fact 2\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 )
+                + URLEncoder.encode( "fact 3\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) + "&poster=vilebot&paste=Send&expiry=m";
+        ArgumentCaptor<byte[]> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( byte[].class );
+        verify( outputStream ).write( argumentCaptor.capture() );
+        assertThat( new String( argumentCaptor.getValue() ) ).isEqualTo( input );
+        verify( outputStream ).flush();
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factDump( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "factdump for bob: fact-pastebin-link" );
+        verify( urlFactory, Mockito.times( 1 ) ).build( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuotesNoQuotes()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 0L );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.quoteRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob has no quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFactsNoFacts()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 0L );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.factRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob has no facts." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuotesLessThan5Quotes()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 3L );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotes( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "quote 1", "quote 2",
+                                                                                         "quote 3" ) ) );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.quoteRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 1\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 2\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 3\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFactsLessThan5Facts()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 3L );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFacts( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "fact 1", "fact 2",
+                                                                                        "fact 3" ) ) );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.factRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 1" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 2" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 3" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuotes6Quotes()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 6L );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuotes( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( List.of( "quote 1", "quote 2", "quote 3", "quote 4",
+                                                                          "quote 5" ) );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.quoteRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 1\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 2\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 3\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 4\"." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob once said, \"quote 5\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFacts6Facts()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 6L );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFacts( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( List.of( "fact 1", "fact 2", "fact 3", "fact 4",
+                                                                         "fact 5" ) );
+
+        quotesAndFactsService.factRandomDump( user, nick );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 1" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 2" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 3" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 4" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "bob fact 5" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteNumNoQuotes()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 0L );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteNum( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactNumNoFacts()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 0L );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factNum( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no facts." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteNumSomeQuotes()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 3L );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteNum( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has 3 quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactNumSomeFacts()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( 3L );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factNum( nick ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has 3 facts." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteQueryNoQuotes()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteQuery( null, nick,
+                                                      Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactQueryNoFacts()
+    {
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factQuery( null, nick, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no facts." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteQuery()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "hi alice!" );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!quote bob" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteQuery( channelMessageEvent, nick,
+                                                      Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"hi !ecila\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactQuery()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "is also alice" );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!fact bob" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factQuery( channelMessageEvent, nick,
+                                                     Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob is also ecila" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteJazizQuery()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "hi alice!" );
+        when( jazizService.jazizify( "hi alice!" ) ).thenReturn( "hey alice!" );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!quote bob" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteQuery( channelMessageEvent, nick,
+                                                      Optional.of( "jaziz" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"hey !ecila\"." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactJazizQuery()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "is alice" );
+        when( jazizService.jazizify( "is alice" ) ).thenReturn( "actually is alice" );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!quote bob" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factQuery( channelMessageEvent, nick,
+                                                     Optional.of( "jaziz" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "bob actually is ecila" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuoteSearch()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getQuotes( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice 1", "quote 2",
+                                                                                         "alice 3" ) ) );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!quotesearch bob alice" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 2 ) ).thenReturn( 0 );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "alice",
+                                                       Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"ecila 1\"." );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 2 ) ).thenReturn( 1 );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "alice",
+                                                       Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob once said, \"ecila 3\"." );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.quoteSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "404",
+                                                       Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no matching quotes." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactSearch()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( alice, bob ) );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Nick nick = Nick.valueOf( "bob" );
+        when( quoteFactDB.getFacts( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice 1", "fact 2",
+                                                                                        "alice 3" ) ) );
+
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!factsearch bob alice" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 2 ) ).thenReturn( 0 );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "alice",
+                                                      Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob ecila 1" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( 2 ) ).thenReturn( 1 );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "alice",
+                                                      Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob ecila 3" );
+        assertThat( quotesAndFactsService.factSearch( channelMessageEvent, nick, "404",
+                                                      Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has no matching facts." );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d33ff116
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,93 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.time.LocalDateTime;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class RemindMeServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    RemindMeService remindMeService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testReminder()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        Mockito.when( timeService.getCurrentDateTime() ).thenReturn( LocalDateTime.of( 2020, 12, 1, 0, 0 ) );
+
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "s" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T00:00:10" );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> reminderRunner = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 10 ) ), reminderRunner.capture() );
+        Mockito.verify( user ).getNick();
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( user );
+        reminderRunner.getValue().run();
+        Mockito.verify( user ).sendMessage( "This is your reminder that you should: refactor VileBot" );
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( user );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUnits()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Mockito.when( timeService.getCurrentDateTime() ).thenReturn( LocalDateTime.of( 2020, 12, 1, 0, 0 ) );
+
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "s" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T00:00:10" );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 10 ) ), Mockito.any() );
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "m" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T00:10" );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofMinutes( 10 ) ), Mockito.any() );
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "h" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T10:00" );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofHours( 10 ) ), Mockito.any() );
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "d" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-11T00:00" );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofDays( 10 ) ), Mockito.any() );
+
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLimit()
+    {
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "jill" );
+        Mockito.when( timeService.getCurrentDateTime() ).thenReturn( LocalDateTime.of( 2020, 12, 1, 0, 0 ) );
+
+        for ( int i = 0; i < 10; i++ )
+        {
+            assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                                  "s" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T00:00:10" );
+        }
+        ;
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "s" ) ).isEqualTo( "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one." );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> reminderRunner = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService, Mockito.times( 10 ) ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 10 ) ),
+                                                                      reminderRunner.capture() );
+        reminderRunner.getValue().run();
+        assertThat( remindMeService.remindMe( user, "refactor VileBot", 10,
+                                              "s" ) ).isEqualTo( "Created reminder for 2020-12-01T00:00:10" );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService, Mockito.times( 11 ) ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 10 ) ),
+                                                                      reminderRunner.capture() );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..879c737b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,222 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.apache.commons.lang3.tuple.Pair;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class RockPaperScissorsServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    RockPaperScissorsService rockPaperScissorsService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testPlayerGame()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User alice = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        User bob = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( "Bot" );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#channel" );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, bob, channel, "!rps bob" );
+
+        // verify you cannot challenge yourself
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "bob" ),
+                                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "You cannot challenge yourself to a Rock Paper Scissors game!" );
+
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                               + "bob dared alice to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "Use \" /msg "
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "Bot"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                               + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET );
+
+        // verify starting a game while a game in progress gives an error message
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "A current game is already in progress.\n"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                               + "bob dared alice to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n" );
+
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( alice,
+                                                                 "rock" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of rock has been received!" );
+
+        // verify you can't change your answer once your submitted
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( alice,
+                                                                 "scissors" ) ).isEqualTo( "You have already submitted your answer!\n" );
+
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( bob,
+                                                                 "paper" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of paper has been received!" );
+
+        // paper beats rock
+        Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+            + "bob used paper, alice used rock, bob wins!" );
+
+        // test all combinations
+        List<Pair<String, String>> leftWinsPairList =
+            List.of( Pair.of( "rock", "scissors" ), Pair.of( "paper", "rock" ), Pair.of( "scissors", "paper" ) );
+
+        Mockito.reset( channel );
+        for ( Pair<String, String> leftWinsPair : leftWinsPairList )
+        {
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                               Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + "bob dared alice to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "Use \" /msg "
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "Bot"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( bob,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getLeft() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( alice,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getRight() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getRight()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "bob used " + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                + ", alice used " + leftWinsPair.getRight() + ", bob wins!" );
+
+            Mockito.reset( channel );
+
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                               Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + "bob dared alice to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "Use \" /msg "
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "Bot"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( bob,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getRight() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getRight()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( alice,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getLeft() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "bob used " + leftWinsPair.getRight()
+                + ", alice used " + leftWinsPair.getLeft() + ", alice wins!" );
+
+            Mockito.reset( channel );
+
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                               Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + "bob dared alice to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "Use \" /msg "
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "Bot"
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                                   + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                                                                   + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( bob,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getLeft() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( alice,
+                                                                     leftWinsPair.getLeft() ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of "
+                                                                         + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                                                                         + " has been received!" );
+            Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "bob used " + leftWinsPair.getLeft()
+                + ", alice used " + leftWinsPair.getLeft() + ", no one wins!" );
+        }
+
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testBotGame()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User bot = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        User bob = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( "Bot" );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#channel" );
+        when( bot.getNick() ).thenReturn( "Bot" );
+        when( bot.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, bob, channel, "!rps Bot" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( Mockito.any( String[].class ) ) ).thenReturn( "paper" );
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.startRpsGame( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "Bot" ),
+                                                           Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                               + "bob dared Bot to a Rock Paper Scissors match!"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "\n"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "Use \" /msg "
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET + "Bot"
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+                                                               + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
+                                                               + RockPaperScissorsService.RESET );
+
+        assertThat( rockPaperScissorsService.onContestantAnswer( bob,
+                                                                 "rock" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of rock has been received!" );
+
+        Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED
+            + "bob used rock, Bot used paper, Bot wins!" );
+    }
+
+    @SuppressWarnings( "unchecked" )
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRPSRules()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( "Bot" );
+        User bob = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ActorEvent<User> event = Mockito.mock( ActorEvent.class );
+        when( event.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( event.getActor() ).thenReturn( bob );
+        rockPaperScissorsService.requestRules( event );
+        verify( bob ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RED + "RPS RULES: " );
+        verify( bob ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RESET
+            + "1) Dare someone to play rock paper scissors with you! " );
+        verify( bob ).sendMessage( RockPaperScissorsService.RESET
+            + "2) Rock beats scissors, paper beats rocks, and scissors beat paper " );
+        verify( bob ).sendMessage( "3) Use /msg Bot !(rock|paper|scissors) to set your action. Cannot be undone." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( bob );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..cf3abd79
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class SummonServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    SummonService summonService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LimitService limitService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSummon()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#channel" );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( user ) );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!summon bob" );
+        assertThat( summonService.summonNick( channelMessageEvent, "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob was invited" );
+        verify( client ).sendMessage( "bob", "You are summoned by alice to join #channel" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUserInChannelSummon()
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        User targetUser = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#channel" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( targetUser.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        Mockito.when( targetUser.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( user, targetUser ) );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!summon bob" );
+        assertThat( summonService.summonNick( channelMessageEvent,
+                                              "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob is already in the channel." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( client );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testOverLimit()
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#channel" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( user ) );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, user, channel, "!summon bob" );
+        Mockito.doThrow( new LimitExceededException( "alice has the maximum uses" ) ).when( limitService ).addUse( user );
+        assertThat( summonService.summonNick( channelMessageEvent, "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has the maximum uses" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( client );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ddb72b6f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,142 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.io.OutputStream;
+import java.io.PrintStream;
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+import java.util.concurrent.atomic.AtomicReference;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.AfterAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class TriviaServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    TriviaService triviaService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    static PrintStream realErrorStream = System.err;
+
+    @BeforeAll
+    public static void setupAll()
+    {
+        // Hide printed stack trace for the unit test that test the case the API fails
+        realErrorStream = System.err;
+        System.setErr( new PrintStream( new OutputStream()
+        {
+            public void write( int i )
+            {
+            }
+        } ) );
+    }
+
+    @AfterAll
+    public static void teardownAll()
+    {
+        // Restore the error stream
+        System.setErr( realErrorStream );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTriviaGame()
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( "http://jservice.io/api/random?count=100",
+                                         TriviaServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "trivia-example.json" ) );
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        User botUser = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Channel channel = Mockito.mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage serverMessage = Mockito.mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        Mockito.when( channel.getMessagingName() ).thenReturn( "#trivia" );
+        Mockito.when( botUser.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, serverMessage, botUser, channel, "!jeopardy" );
+
+        final AtomicReference<Runnable> timeoutCommand = new AtomicReference<>();
+        final AtomicReference<Future<?>> timeoutFuture = new AtomicReference<>();
+        Mockito.when( timeService.onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ),
+                                             Mockito.any() ) ).thenAnswer( invocation -> {
+                                                 timeoutCommand.set( invocation.getArgument( 1 ) );
+                                                 Future<?> future = Mockito.mock( Future.class );
+                                                 timeoutFuture.set( future );
+                                                 return future;
+                                             } );
+
+        // Test a simple game
+        assertThat( triviaService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Your category is: " + TriviaService.RED
+            + "Math" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n" + "For " + TriviaService.GREEN + "5" + TriviaService.RESET
+            + " karma:\n" + TriviaService.BLUE + "This number is the base used in binary" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n"
+            + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+        Mockito.verify( timeService ).onTimeout( Mockito.eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), Mockito.any() );
+
+        assertThat( triviaService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "A game is already in session!\n"
+            + "Your category is: " + TriviaService.RED + "Math" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n" + "For "
+            + TriviaService.GREEN + "5" + TriviaService.RESET + " karma:\n" + TriviaService.BLUE
+            + "This number is the base used in binary" + TriviaService.RESET );
+
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+        Mockito.when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        assertThat( triviaService.tryAnswer( user,
+                                             "4" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! That is incorrect, you lose 5 karma." );
+        Mockito.verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -5 );
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions( timeoutFuture.get() );
+        assertThat( triviaService.tryAnswer( user, "2" ) ).isEqualTo( "Congrats bob, you win 5 karma!" );
+        Mockito.verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 5 );
+        Mockito.verify( timeoutFuture.get() ).cancel( true );
+
+        // Test it uses the next valid question from the response
+        assertThat( triviaService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Your category is: " + TriviaService.RED
+            + "VileBot1" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n" + "For " + TriviaService.GREEN + "2" + TriviaService.RESET
+            + " karma:\n" + TriviaService.BLUE + "This command starts a trivia game" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n"
+            + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+        assertThat( triviaService.tryAnswer( user,
+                                             "!omgword" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! That is incorrect, you lose 2 karma." );
+        Mockito.verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -2 );
+        Mockito.verifyNoInteractions( timeoutFuture.get() );
+        timeoutCommand.get().run();
+        Mockito.verify( channel ).getClient();
+        Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your 30 seconds is up! The answer we were looking for was:" );
+        Mockito.verify( channel ).sendMessage( TriviaService.BLUE + "!jeopardy" + TriviaService.RESET );
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        // Test it fails correctly if API doesn't work
+        assertThat( triviaService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "I don't feel like playing." );
+
+        // Test it refreshes correctly
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( "http://jservice.io/api/random?count=100", "[{\n"
+            + "    \"question\": \"A final example\",\n" + "    \"invalid_count\": null,\n"
+            + "    \"category\": { \"title\": \"Test\" },\n" + "    \"answer\": \"Unit Tests!\"\n" + "  }]" );
+        assertThat( triviaService.startGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Your category is: " + TriviaService.RED
+            + "Test" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n" + "For " + TriviaService.GREEN + "5" + TriviaService.RESET
+            + " karma:\n" + TriviaService.BLUE + "A final example" + TriviaService.RESET + "\n"
+            + "30 seconds on the clock." );
+
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ddc9ed93
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.AssertionsForClassTypes.assertThat;
+
+public class TwitterCorrectionServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCorrection()
+    {
+        TwitterCorrectionService twitterCorrectionService = new TwitterCorrectionService();
+        assertThat( twitterCorrectionService.onTwitterSyntax( "@bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: bob: message" );
+        assertThat( twitterCorrectionService.onTwitterSyntax( "@bob:" ) ).isEqualTo( "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: bob: message" );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..28936b51
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,109 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.io.IOException;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.services.ClientCreator;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TwitterService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+import twitter4j.Status;
+import twitter4j.TwitterException;
+import twitter4j.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    UrlTweetAnnouncerService urlTweetAnnouncerService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TwitterService twitterService;
+
+    @Inject
+    ClientCreator clientCreator;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetTweet()
+        throws IOException, TwitterException
+    {
+        Client client = clientCreator.createClient( "MyClient" );
+        Status status = Mockito.mock( Status.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        Mockito.when( user.getName() ).thenReturn( "Example User" );
+        Mockito.when( status.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
+        Mockito.when( status.getText() ).thenReturn( "This is a tweet" );
+
+        Mockito.when( twitterService.getStatus( 1 ) ).thenReturn( status );
+        assertThat( urlTweetAnnouncerService.onTwitterUrlMessage( client,
+                                                                  "https://twitter.com/ExampleUser/status/1" ) ).isEqualTo( "' Example User: This is a tweet '" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetUserEmptyDescription()
+        throws IOException, TwitterException
+    {
+        Client client = clientCreator.createClient( "MyClient" );
+        Status status = Mockito.mock( Status.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        Mockito.when( user.getName() ).thenReturn( "Example User" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getDescription() ).thenReturn( "" );
+        Mockito.when( status.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
+        Mockito.when( status.getText() ).thenReturn( "My Last Tweet" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getStatus() ).thenReturn( status );
+
+        Mockito.when( twitterService.getUser( "ExampleUser" ) ).thenReturn( user );
+        assertThat( urlTweetAnnouncerService.onTwitterUrlMessage( client,
+                                                                  "https://twitter.com/ExampleUser" ) ).isEqualTo( "' Name: Example User'\n"
+                                                                      + "Last Tweet: 'My Last Tweet '" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetUserWithDescription()
+        throws IOException, TwitterException
+    {
+        Client client = clientCreator.createClient( "MyClient" );
+        Status status = Mockito.mock( Status.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        Mockito.when( user.getName() ).thenReturn( "Example User" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getDescription() ).thenReturn( "My Description" );
+        Mockito.when( status.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
+        Mockito.when( status.getText() ).thenReturn( "My Last Tweet" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getStatus() ).thenReturn( status );
+
+        Mockito.when( twitterService.getUser( "ExampleUser" ) ).thenReturn( user );
+        assertThat( urlTweetAnnouncerService.onTwitterUrlMessage( client,
+                                                                  "https://twitter.com/ExampleUser" ) ).isEqualTo( "' Name: Example User | My Description'\n"
+                                                                      + "Last Tweet: 'My Last Tweet '" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTwitterException()
+        throws IOException, TwitterException
+    {
+        Client client = clientCreator.createClient( "MyClient" );
+        Status status = Mockito.mock( Status.class );
+        User user = Mockito.mock( User.class );
+
+        Mockito.when( user.getName() ).thenReturn( "Example User" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getDescription() ).thenReturn( "My Description" );
+        Mockito.when( status.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
+        Mockito.when( status.getText() ).thenReturn( "My Last Tweet" );
+        Mockito.when( user.getStatus() ).thenReturn( status );
+
+        Mockito.when( twitterService.getUser( "ExampleUser" ) ).thenThrow( new TwitterException( "Invalid API Keys" ) );
+        assertThat( urlTweetAnnouncerService.onTwitterUrlMessage( client,
+                                                                  "https://twitter.com/ExampleUser" ) ).isEqualTo( "' MyClient: Until my maintainer fixes the API Key, this is the only tweet you're gonna see. U mad, bro? '" );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
index a7f65220..29da9e8e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
@@ -25,43 +25,39 @@
 public class MockClientCreator
     implements ClientCreator
 {
-    static Client client;
 
     static List<Consumer<MessageEvent>> eventListeners = new ArrayList<>();
 
     @Override
     public Client createClient( String nick )
     {
-        if ( client == null )
-        {
-            client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
-            EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock( EventManager.class );
-            Mockito.when( client.getName() ).thenReturn( nick );
-            Mockito.when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( nick );
-            Mockito.when( client.getEventManager() ).thenReturn( eventManager );
-            ServerInfo serverInfo = Mockito.mock( ServerInfo.class );
-            Mockito.when( client.getServerInfo() ).thenReturn( serverInfo );
-            Mockito.when( serverInfo.getCaseMapping() ).thenReturn( CaseMapping.ASCII );
-            doAnswer( invocationOnMock -> {
-                Object object = invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 );
-                Arrays.stream( object.getClass().getMethods() ).filter( method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1
-                    && MessageEvent.class.isAssignableFrom( method.getParameterTypes()[0] ) ).forEach( method -> eventListeners.add( event -> {
-                        try
+        Client client = Mockito.mock( Client.class );
+        EventManager eventManager = Mockito.mock( EventManager.class );
+        Mockito.when( client.getName() ).thenReturn( nick );
+        Mockito.when( client.getNick() ).thenReturn( nick );
+        Mockito.when( client.getEventManager() ).thenReturn( eventManager );
+        ServerInfo serverInfo = Mockito.mock( ServerInfo.class );
+        Mockito.when( client.getServerInfo() ).thenReturn( serverInfo );
+        Mockito.when( serverInfo.getCaseMapping() ).thenReturn( CaseMapping.ASCII );
+        doAnswer( invocationOnMock -> {
+            Object object = invocationOnMock.getArgument( 0 );
+            Arrays.stream( object.getClass().getMethods() ).filter( method -> method.getParameterCount() == 1
+                && MessageEvent.class.isAssignableFrom( method.getParameterTypes()[0] ) ).forEach( method -> eventListeners.add( event -> {
+                    try
+                    {
+                        if ( method.getParameterTypes()[0].isAssignableFrom( event.getClass() ) )
                         {
-                            if ( method.getParameterTypes()[0].isAssignableFrom( event.getClass() ) )
-                            {
-                                method.invoke( object, event );
-                            }
+                            method.invoke( object, event );
                         }
-                        catch ( InvocationTargetException | IllegalAccessException e )
-                        {
-                            throw new IllegalStateException( e );
-                        }
-                    } ) );
-
-                return null;
-            } ).when( eventManager ).registerEventListener( any() );
-        }
+                    }
+                    catch ( InvocationTargetException | IllegalAccessException e )
+                    {
+                        throw new IllegalStateException( e );
+                    }
+                } ) );
+
+            return null;
+        } ).when( eventManager ).registerEventListener( any() );
         return client;
     }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..96eae1eb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+import javax.enterprise.inject.Alternative;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+
+@Alternative
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class TestLimitService
+    implements LimitService
+{
+
+    @Override
+    public void setLimit( int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration timePeriod )
+    {
+
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public void addUse( String noun )
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+
+    }
+
+    @Override
+    public boolean isAtLimit( String noun )
+    {
+        return false;
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
index eb5affc2..7872e9d5 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
@@ -30,6 +30,12 @@ public class TestUrlStreamHandler
     @Inject
     TestURLFactory testURLFactory;
 
+    @SuppressWarnings( "unchecked" )
+    public <T extends URLConnection> T getConnection( String url )
+    {
+        return (T) urlToConnectionMap.get( url );
+    }
+
     @Override
     protected URLConnection openConnection( URL url )
     {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..01341b8d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
@@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
+[
+  {
+    "question": "This number is the base used in binary",
+    "invalid_count": null,
+    "category": { "title": "Math" },
+    "answer": "2"
+  },
+  {
+    "question": "This location, seen here, is a beautiful spot for a vacation",
+    "invalid_count": null,
+    "category": { "title": "Vacation Getaways" },
+    "answer": "A Beautiful Spot for a Vacation"
+  },
+  {
+    "question": "Adding 1 and 1 together gives this number",
+    "invalid_count": 4,
+    "category": { "title": "Math" },
+    "answer": "3"
+  },
+  {
+    "question": "",
+    "invalid_count": null,
+    "category": { "title": "Wat?" },
+    "answer": "Wat?"
+  },
+  {
+    "question": "This command starts a trivia game",
+    "invalid_count": null,
+    "category": { "title": "VileBot1" },
+    "value": 200,
+    "answer": "!jeopardy"
+  }
+]
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6699a32a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+test
+dog
+god
\ No newline at end of file

From 189349d38c8dce1a1e120c7d80480c3820b2ec37 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2021 21:36:50 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 54/79] Add NewsService Unit Test

---
 .../vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java     | 131 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml        |  66 +++++++++
 2 files changed, 197 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c7403a67
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,131 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.doThrow;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class NewsServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    NewsService newsService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LimitService limitService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultNewsChannel()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-toronto.xml",
+                                      NewsServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "news-rss-feed.xml" ) );
+        assertNewsFeed( newsService.getNews( user, Optional.empty() ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopicNewsChannel()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "http://feeds.reuters.com/Reuters/domesticNews",
+                                      NewsServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "news-rss-feed.xml" ) );
+        assertNewsFeed( newsService.getNews( user, Optional.of( "usa" ) ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testOverLimit()
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        doThrow( new LimitExceededException( "bob at limit" ) ).when( limitService ).addUse( user );
+
+        assertThat( newsService.getNews( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob at limit" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDefaultFakeNewsChannel()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "https://www.thebeaverton.com/rss",
+                                      NewsServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "news-rss-feed.xml" ) );
+        assertNewsFeed( newsService.getFakeNews( user, Optional.empty() ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopicFakeNewsChannel()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "https://www.theonion.com/rss",
+                                      NewsServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "news-rss-feed.xml" ) );
+        assertNewsFeed( newsService.getFakeNews( user, Optional.of( "usa" ) ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFakeOverLimit()
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        doThrow( new LimitExceededException( "bob at limit" ) ).when( limitService ).addUse( user );
+
+        assertThat( newsService.getFakeNews( user, Optional.empty() ) ).isEqualTo( "bob at limit" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testHelp()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        newsService.newsHelp( user );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "News Categories (example: !news toronto):" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "  General: { top } { world } { canada } { usa } { britain }" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "  Topics: { politics } { business } { health } { arts } { tech } { offbeat } { indigenous }" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFakeNewsHelp()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        newsService.fakeNewsHelp( user );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):" );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "  Countries: { canada } { usa } { belgium } { france } { india } { russia } { serbia } { venezuela } { newzealand }" );
+    }
+
+    public void assertNewsFeed( String newsFeed )
+    {
+        assertThat( newsFeed ).isEqualTo( Colors.bold( "  News Title 1 - A story to behold" )
+            + " -> https://example.com/1\n" + Colors.bold( "  News Title 2 - A stunning sight" )
+            + " -> https://example.com/2\n" + Colors.bold( "  News Title 3 - A new dawn" )
+            + " -> https://example.com/3" );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..069e9b66
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,66 @@
+<rss version="2.0">
+  <channel>
+    <title>Sample News Source</title>
+    <link>https://example.com</link>
+    <description>An Example RSS Feed</description>
+    <language>en-ca</language>
+    <lastBuildDate>Wed, 18 Aug 2021 20:23:10 EDT</lastBuildDate>
+    <copyright>
+      Apache 2.0
+    </copyright>
+    <docs>https://example.com/rss</docs>
+    <image>
+      <title>Example</title>
+      <url>https://example.com/image.gif</url>
+      <link>https://example.com/rss?cmp=rss</link>
+    </image>
+    <item>
+      <title>News Title 1 - A story to behold</title>
+      <link>https://example.com/1</link>
+      <guid isPermaLink="false">2.3451</guid>
+      <pubDate>Mon, 17 Jan 2020 17:11:33 EST</pubDate>
+      <author/>
+      <category>News</category>
+      <description>
+        <img src='https://example.com/image.gif' alt='Image' width='460' title='Image' height='259'/>
+        <p></p>
+      </description>
+    </item>
+    <item>
+      <title>News Title 2 - A stunning sight</title>
+      <link>https://example.com/2</link>
+      <guid isPermaLink="false">9.3451</guid>
+      <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jan 2020 17:00:30 EST</pubDate>
+      <author/>
+      <category>News</category>
+      <description>
+        <img src='https://example.com/image.gif' alt='Image' width='460' title='Image' height='259'/>
+        <p></p>
+      </description>
+    </item>
+    <item>
+      <title>News Title 3 - A new dawn</title>
+      <link>https://example.com/3</link>
+      <guid isPermaLink="false">2.3451</guid>
+      <pubDate>Mon, 5 Jan 2020 17:21:23 EST</pubDate>
+      <author/>
+      <category>News</category>
+      <description>
+        <img src='https://example.com/image.gif' alt='Image' width='460' title='Image' height='259'/>
+        <p></p>
+      </description>
+    </item>
+    <item>
+      <title>News Title 4 - A stunning conclusion</title>
+      <link>https://example.com/4</link>
+      <guid isPermaLink="false">2.3451</guid>
+      <pubDate>Mon, 29 Jan 2020 17:11:13 EST</pubDate>
+      <author/>
+      <category>News</category>
+      <description>
+        <img src='https://example.com/image.gif' alt='Image' width='460' title='Image' height='259'/>
+        <p></p>
+      </description>
+    </item>
+  </channel>
+</rss>
\ No newline at end of file

From 3f1abf045bc3ea97364318239e798d203a9979bc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2021 21:57:01 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 55/79] Add Unit Test for LastSeenService

---
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java | 125 ++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 125 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d32160dc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,125 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LastSeenDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelJoinEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class LastSeenServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    LastSeenService lastSeenService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LastSeenDB lastSeenDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( "unchecked" )
+    public void testUpdateTimeWhenUserActs()
+    {
+        ActorEvent<User> actorEvent = mock( ActorEvent.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( actorEvent.getActor() ).thenReturn( user );
+
+        lastSeenService.updateLastSeenTime( actorEvent );
+
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).updateLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( lastSeenDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoCommentWhenUserJoinedThatWasNeverSeen()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+
+        when( lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.empty() );
+
+        assertThat( lastSeenService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).getLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).updateLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( lastSeenDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoCommentWhenUserJoinedThatWasRecentlySeen()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+
+        when( timeService.getCurrentTimeMills() ).thenReturn( 10000L );
+        when( lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5000L ) );
+
+        assertThat( lastSeenService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).getLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).updateLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( lastSeenDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCommentWhenUserJoinedThatWasLastSeenLongAgo()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelJoinEvent channelJoinEvent = new ChannelJoinEvent( client, sourceMessage, channel, user );
+
+        when( timeService.getCurrentTimeMills() ).thenReturn( Duration.ofDays( 40 ).toMillis() );
+        when( lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5000L ) );
+
+        assertThat( lastSeenService.onJoin( channelJoinEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Hi bob! I last saw you 39 days ago at 1969-12-31T19:00-05. Long time, no see." );
+
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).getLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verify( lastSeenDB ).updateLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( lastSeenDB );
+    }
+}

From 8a6575b6d7fc38f00c31c9fcd2777b6e6a5c15a1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2021 22:31:03 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 56/79] Add Unit Tests for LastMessageSedService

---
 .../services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java   | 69 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 69 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..fdf505cc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,69 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.AssertionsForClassTypes.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+public class LastMessageSedServiceTest
+{
+    @Test
+    public void testChangeLastMessageByUser()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        LastMessageSedService lastMessageSedService = new LastMessageSedService();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "oh no a typoo" ) ).isNull();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "s/typoo/typo" ) ).isEqualTo( "Correction: oh no a "
+            + Colors.bold( "typo" ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotFindOriginalInLastMessageByUser()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        LastMessageSedService lastMessageSedService = new LastMessageSedService();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "oh no a typo" ) ).isNull();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user,
+                                                     "s/typoo/typo" ) ).isEqualTo( "Wow. Seriously? Try subbing out a string that actually occurred. Do you even sed, bro?" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFirstChangeOnly()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        LastMessageSedService lastMessageSedService = new LastMessageSedService();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "a dog dog" ) ).isNull();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "s/dog/cat" ) ).isEqualTo( "Correction: a "
+            + Colors.bold( "cat" ) + " dog" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testChangeAllIfGlobal()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        LastMessageSedService lastMessageSedService = new LastMessageSedService();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "a dog dog" ) ).isNull();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( user, "s/dog/cat/g" ) ).isEqualTo( "Correction: a "
+            + Colors.bold( "cat" ) + " " + Colors.bold( "cat" ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSedDifferentUser()
+    {
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        LastMessageSedService lastMessageSedService = new LastMessageSedService();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( alice, "a dog dog" ) ).isNull();
+        assertThat( lastMessageSedService.onMessage( bob, "s/dog/cat/ alice" ) ).isEqualTo( "alice, ftfy: a "
+            + Colors.bold( "cat" ) + " dog" );
+    }
+}

From 6280e97e32b9873a92af97ed0e02e3f8ad59262e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 21:04:40 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 57/79] Add remaining unit tests for user facing services

---
 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore                    |   1 +
 .../services/AnswerQuestionService.java       |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchService.java       |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/CountdownService.java    |  31 +-
 .../vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java |  25 +-
 .../vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java    |  28 +-
 .../vilebot/services/JazizService.java        |   4 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |   3 +-
 .../vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java     |  35 +
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |   9 +
 .../services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java   |  83 ++
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java    | 231 ++++++
 .../services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java       |  35 +
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java   | 743 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../services/CountdownServiceTest.java        | 593 ++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java   |  82 ++
 .../services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java     | 151 ++++
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java  |  43 +
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java  |  40 +
 .../services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java        |  41 +
 .../services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java     |  61 ++
 .../services/InspirationServiceTest.java      |  35 +
 .../vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java    |  62 ++
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java  |  61 ++
 .../services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java    | 280 +++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml | 306 ++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/answer-short.xml         | 115 +++
 .../vilebot/services/google-results.html      |  52 ++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf    | 617 +++++++++++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png  | Bin 0 -> 1533 bytes
 .../vilebot/services/translations-cold.json   |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/translations-fast.json   |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/translations-hello.json  |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/translations-myself.json |   5 +
 .../services/translations-running.json        |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/translations-tower.json  |   5 +
 .../vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html   |  19 +
 .../src/test/resources/fontlist.txt           |   1 +
 .../src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt        |   3 +
 .../src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt  |   2 +
 .../src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt   |   6 +
 .../src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv        |   3 +
 42 files changed, 3798 insertions(+), 41 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
index bdf57ce3..84cd134d 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
@@ -37,3 +37,4 @@ nb-configuration.xml
 
 # Local environment
 .env
+.fonts
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
index b45267f8..60b82a44 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@
 import java.io.UnsupportedEncodingException;
 import java.net.URLConnection;
 import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
 import java.util.Scanner;
 
 @ApplicationScoped
@@ -50,9 +51,8 @@ private String getAnswer( String searchTerm )
     }
 
     private String makeURL( String searchTerm )
-        throws UnsupportedEncodingException
     {
-        searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( searchTerm, "UTF-8" );
+        searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( searchTerm, StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
         return "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
             + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
     }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
index a2804f5a..d116ab1f 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
@@ -55,6 +55,8 @@ else if ( donorKarma <= 0 || donorKarma < donationAmount )
             churchDB.modDonorKarma( donor, donationAmount );
             karmaDB.modNounKarma( donor, -1 * donationAmount );
             Long churchDonorKarma = churchDB.getDonorKarma( donor ).orElse( null );
+
+            // True if this is someone first donation after being inquisited
             if ( churchDonorKarma != null && churchDonorKarma - donationAmount <= 0 )
             {
                 churchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, " " );
@@ -100,7 +102,7 @@ public String setTitle( User user, String newTitle )
     {
         String donor = Nick.getNick( user ).getBaseNick();
         Long donorRank = churchDB.getDonorRank( donor ).orElse( null );
-        if ( donorRank != null && donorRank > 4 )
+        if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
         {
             return "You must be a top donor to set your title.";
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
index 76b1d5f7..6932052c 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnPrivateMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
 import org.apache.commons.lang3.ArrayUtils;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
@@ -56,6 +57,9 @@ public class CountdownService
     @Inject
     KarmaDB karmaDB;
 
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
     CountdownGame currGame = null;
 
     private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
@@ -67,8 +71,12 @@ public String startNewGame( ChannelMessageEvent event )
     }
 
     @OnPrivateMessage( "!solution @answer" )
-    public String onSolution( User user, String answer )
+    public synchronized String onSolution( User user, String answer )
     {
+        if ( currGame == null )
+        {
+            return "No active game. Start a new one with !countdown.";
+        }
         return checkAnswer( user, answer );
     }
 
@@ -128,7 +136,6 @@ private synchronized String checkAnswer( User user, String submission )
         }
         catch ( Exception e )
         {
-            e.printStackTrace();
             karmaDB.modNounKarma( contestant, -1 * INVALID_STAKE );
             return String.format( "Sorry %s! You have put an invalid answer, you lose %d karma.", contestant,
                                   INVALID_STAKE );
@@ -209,13 +216,13 @@ private String getSubmissionRuleString()
         return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + "CountdownB0t1" + RED + " !solution < answer > \" to submit." + RESET;
     }
 
-    private static class CountdownGame
+    private class CountdownGame
     {
         private final int VALID_NUMBER_COUNT = 6;
 
-        private final List<Integer> LARGE_NUMBERS = new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 25, 50, 75, 100 ) );
+        private List<Integer> largeNumbers = new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 25, 50, 75, 100 ) );
 
-        private final List<Integer> SMALL_NUMBERS =
+        private List<Integer> smallNumbers =
             new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ) );
 
         private List<Integer> questionNumbers = new ArrayList<>();
@@ -234,22 +241,20 @@ private static class CountdownGame
 
         Interpreter interpreter;
 
-        Random rand = new Random();
-
         CountdownGame()
         {
             shuffleNumbers();
-            largeNumberCount = rand.nextInt( LARGE_NUMBERS.size() + 1 );
+            largeNumberCount = randomProvider.getRandomInt( largeNumbers.size() + 1 );
             smallNumberCount = VALID_NUMBER_COUNT - largeNumberCount;
-            questionNumbers.addAll( LARGE_NUMBERS.subList( 0, largeNumberCount ) );
-            questionNumbers.addAll( SMALL_NUMBERS.subList( 0, smallNumberCount ) );
+            questionNumbers.addAll( largeNumbers.subList( 0, largeNumberCount ) );
+            questionNumbers.addAll( smallNumbers.subList( 0, smallNumberCount ) );
             targetNumber = generateTargetNumber();
         }
 
         // target number should be between 100-999.
         private int generateTargetNumber()
         {
-            return rand.nextInt( 900 ) + 100;
+            return randomProvider.getRandomInt( 900 ) + 100;
         }
 
         private String getSubmissionAndAnswer( String contestant )
@@ -328,8 +333,8 @@ private String[] getQuestion()
 
         private void shuffleNumbers()
         {
-            Collections.shuffle( LARGE_NUMBERS );
-            Collections.shuffle( SMALL_NUMBERS );
+            largeNumbers = randomProvider.shuffleList( largeNumbers );
+            smallNumbers = randomProvider.shuffleList( smallNumbers );
         }
 
         private int interpretedAnswer( String answer )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
index 5bd8dfcd..ba70d5a0 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.InetAddressProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
@@ -19,6 +20,9 @@ public class DownOrJustMeService
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
+    @Inject
+    InetAddressProvider inetAddressProvider;
+
     private static final int PING_TIMEOUT = 3000;
 
     private static final int HTTP_TIMEOUT = 5000;
@@ -35,7 +39,7 @@ public String check( String hostnameOrUrl )
         InetAddress destination;
         try
         {
-            destination = getHostNetAddress( hostnameOrUrl );
+            destination = inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( hostnameOrUrl );
         }
         catch ( UnknownHostException e )
         {
@@ -88,22 +92,7 @@ else if ( status != -1 )
         }
     }
 
-    private static InetAddress getHostNetAddress( String hostnameOrUrl )
-        throws UnknownHostException
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            return InetAddress.getByName( new URL( hostnameOrUrl ).getHost() );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            // noop
-        }
-
-        return InetAddress.getByName( hostnameOrUrl );
-    }
-
-    private static void validateDestination( InetAddress destination )
+    private void validateDestination( InetAddress destination )
     {
         if ( destination.isMulticastAddress() )
         {
@@ -120,7 +109,7 @@ private static void validateDestination( InetAddress destination )
             InetAddress id;
             try
             {
-                id = InetAddress.getByName( subnet.split( "/" )[0] );
+                id = inetAddressProvider.getByName( subnet.split( "/" )[0] );
             }
             catch ( UnknownHostException e )
             {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
index e1be3f76..2c6d4b94 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@
 import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
 import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
+import org.jsoup.select.Elements;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
@@ -20,6 +21,8 @@ public class GetInfoOnService
     @Inject
     URLFactory urlFactory;
 
+    private static final int MAX_RESPONSE = 400;
+
     @OnMessage( "!infoon @query" )
     public String getInfoOn( String query )
     {
@@ -81,14 +84,33 @@ private String parseResponse( String response )
     {
         Document doc = Jsoup.parse( response );
         Element bodyDiv = doc.getElementById( "mw-content-text" );
-        Element firstParagraph = bodyDiv.getElementsByTag( "p" ).first();
-        String answer = firstParagraph.text();
+        Elements paragraphs = bodyDiv.getElementsByTag( "p" );
+        String answer = "";
+        for ( int i = 0; i < paragraphs.size(); i++ )
+        {
+            Element paragraph = paragraphs.get( i );
+            if ( paragraph.hasClass( "mw-empty-elt" ) )
+            {
+                continue;
+            }
+            answer = paragraph.text();
+            break;
+        }
         if ( answer.isEmpty() )
         {
             throw new Exception();
         }
         answer = answer.replaceAll( "\\[[0-9]+\\]", "" );
-        return answer;
+        return truncate( answer );
+    }
+
+    private String truncate( String response )
+    {
+        if ( response.length() > MAX_RESPONSE )
+        {
+            response = response.substring( 0, MAX_RESPONSE ) + "...";
+        }
+        return response;
     }
 
     private String encode( String string )
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
index 247d47cb..335ba7c6 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
@@ -28,9 +28,9 @@ public class JazizService
     @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key" )
     String API_KEY;
 
-    private static final String API_URL = "http://words.bighugelabs.com/api/2/";
+    static final String API_URL = "http://words.bighugelabs.com/api/2/";
 
-    private static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
+    static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
 
     private static String[] splitWords( String message )
     {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
index 93130f1e..64ea1c28 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
@@ -1,6 +1,5 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
 
-import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 
@@ -51,7 +50,7 @@ public void constructQueryToKaomojiListMap()
         }
         catch ( IOException e )
         {
-            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open wordlist file: ", e );
+            throw new IllegalStateException( "Unable to open kaomojilist file: ", e );
         }
     }
 
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..acb468a0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.net.InetAddress;
+import java.net.MalformedURLException;
+import java.net.URL;
+import java.net.UnknownHostException;
+
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class InetAddressProvider
+{
+
+    public InetAddress getHostNetAddress( String hostnameOrUrl )
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        try
+        {
+            return InetAddress.getByName( new URL( hostnameOrUrl ).getHost() );
+        }
+        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
+        {
+            // noop
+        }
+
+        return InetAddress.getByName( hostnameOrUrl );
+    }
+
+    public InetAddress getByName( String name )
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        return InetAddress.getByName( name );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
index bba6842f..390d66b4 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
@@ -2,6 +2,8 @@
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import java.security.SecureRandom;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
+import java.util.Collections;
 import java.util.List;
 import java.util.Random;
 
@@ -39,4 +41,11 @@ public <T> T getRandomElement( T[] array )
     {
         return array[getRandomInt( array.length )];
     }
+
+    public <T> List<T> shuffleList( List<T> list )
+    {
+        List<T> out = new ArrayList<>( list );
+        Collections.shuffle( out );
+        return out;
+    }
 }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..532eab49
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,83 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.io.OutputStream;
+import java.io.PrintStream;
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.AfterAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeAll;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class AnswerQuestionServiceTest
+{
+    @Inject
+    AnswerQuestionService answerQuestionService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.wolfram.key" )
+    String API_KEY;
+
+    static PrintStream realErrorStream = System.err;
+
+    @BeforeAll
+    public static void setupAll()
+    {
+        // Hide printed stack trace for the unit test that test the case the API fails
+        realErrorStream = System.err;
+        System.setErr( new PrintStream( new OutputStream()
+        {
+            public void write( int i )
+            {
+            }
+        } ) );
+    }
+
+    @AfterAll
+    public static void teardownAll()
+    {
+        // Restore the error stream
+        System.setErr( realErrorStream );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotFindAnswer()
+    {
+        assertThat( answerQuestionService.getAnswerForQuery( "the meaning of life" ) ).isEqualTo( "I couldn't find an answer for that" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testShortAnswer()
+    {
+        String searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( "1 + 1", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
+        String url = "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
+            + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( url, AnswerQuestionServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "answer-short.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( answerQuestionService.getAnswerForQuery( "1 + 1" ) ).isEqualTo( "1 + 1\n2" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLongAnswer()
+    {
+        String searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( "George Washington", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
+        String url = "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
+            + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( url, AnswerQuestionServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "answer-long.xml" ) );
+        assertThat( answerQuestionService.getAnswerForQuery( "George Washington" ) ).isEqualTo( "George Washington (politician)\n"
+            + "full name | George Washington\n"
+            + "date of birth | Friday, February 11, 1732 (Julian calendar) (289 years ago)\n"
+            + "place of birth | Westmoreland County, Virginia\n"
+            + "date of death | Saturday, December 14, 1799 (Gregorian calendar) (age: 67 years)\n"
+            + " (221 years ago)\n" + "place of death | Mount Vernon, Virginia, United States" );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..658761d9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,231 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitService;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.doThrow;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class AsciiServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    AsciiService asciiService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LimitService limitService;
+
+    @BeforeEach
+    public void setupFontUrl()
+    {
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( "http://www.figlet.org/fonts/graffiti.flf",
+                                  AsciiServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "graffiti.flf" ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void singleLineDefaultFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply = "    _  _     _     _               __                   _                      \n"
+            + "  _| || |_  | |_  | |__     ___   / _|   ___     ___   | |__     __ _   _ __   \n"
+            + " |_  ..  _| | __| | '_ \\   / _ \\ | |_   / _ \\   / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` | | '__|  \n"
+            + " |_      _| | |_  | | | | |  __/ |  _| | (_) | | (_) | | |_) | | (_| | | |     \n"
+            + "   |_||_|    \\__| |_| |_|  \\___| |_|    \\___/   \\___/  |_.__/   \\__,_| |_|     \n"
+            + "                                                                               \n";
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "#thefoobar", "" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void singleLineGraffitiFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply = "   _  _     __   .__               _____                 ___.                    \n"
+            + "__| || |___/  |_ |  |__    ____  _/ ____\\  ____    ____  \\_ |__  _____   _______ \n"
+            + "\\   __   /\\   __\\|  |  \\ _/ __ \\ \\   __\\  /  _ \\  /  _ \\  | __ \\ \\__  \\  \\_  __ \\\n"
+            + " |  ||  |  |  |  |   Y  \\\\  ___/  |  |   (  <_> )(  <_> ) | \\_\\ \\ / __ \\_ |  | \\/\n"
+            + "/_  ~~  _\\ |__|  |___|  / \\___  > |__|    \\____/  \\____/  |___  /(____  / |__|   \n"
+            + "  |_||_|              \\/      \\/                              \\/      \\/         \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "graffiti", "#thefoobar" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void multiLineDefaultFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply =
+            "  _           _     _       _                                                                   _                         \n"
+                + " (_)  ___    | |_  | |__   (_)  ___     _ __ ___     ___   ___   ___    __ _    __ _    ___    | |   ___    _ __     __ _ \n"
+                + " | | / __|   | __| | '_ \\  | | / __|   | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ / __| / __|  / _` |  / _` |  / _ \\   | |  / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` |\n"
+                + " | | \\__ \\   | |_  | | | | | | \\__ \\   | | | | | | |  __/ \\__ \\ \\__ \\ | (_| | | (_| | |  __/   | | | (_) | | | | | | (_| |\n"
+                + " |_| |___/    \\__| |_| |_| |_| |___/   |_| |_| |_|  \\___| |___/ |___/  \\__,_|  \\__, |  \\___|   |_|  \\___/  |_| |_|  \\__, |\n"
+                + "                                                                               |___/                                |___/ \n"
+                + "                                           _       ___   ___ \n"
+                + "     ___   _ __     ___    _   _    __ _  | |__   |__ \\ |__ \\\n"
+                + "    / _ \\ | '_ \\   / _ \\  | | | |  / _` | | '_ \\    / /   / /\n"
+                + "   |  __/ | | | | | (_) | | |_| | | (_| | | | | |  |_|   |_| \n"
+                + "    \\___| |_| |_|  \\___/   \\__,_|  \\__, | |_| |_|  (_)   (_) \n"
+                + "                                   |___/                     \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "is", "this message long enough??" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void multiLineGraffitiFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply =
+            ".__            __   .__     .__                                                                     .__                            \n"
+                + "|__|  ______ _/  |_ |  |__  |__|  ______   _____    ____    ______  ___________      ____    ____   |  |    ____    ____     ____  \n"
+                + "|  | /  ___/ \\   __\\|  |  \\ |  | /  ___/  /     \\ _/ __ \\  /  ___/ /  ___/\\__  \\    / ___\\ _/ __ \\  |  |   /  _ \\  /    \\   / ___\\ \n"
+                + "|  | \\___ \\   |  |  |   Y  \\|  | \\___ \\  |  Y Y  \\\\  ___/  \\___ \\  \\___ \\  / __ \\_ / /_/  >\\  ___/  |  |__(  <_> )|   |  \\ / /_/  >\n"
+                + "|__|/____  >  |__|  |___|  /|__|/____  > |__|_|  / \\___  >/____  >/____  >(____  / \\___  /  \\___  > |____/ \\____/ |___|  / \\___  / \n"
+                + "         \\/              \\/          \\/        \\/      \\/      \\/      \\/      \\/ /_____/       \\/                     \\/ /_____/  \n"
+                + "                                         .__     _________ _________ \n"
+                + "   ____    ____    ____   __ __    ____  |  |__  \\_____   \\\\_____   \\\n"
+                + " _/ __ \\  /    \\  /  _ \\ |  |  \\  / ___\\ |  |  \\    /   __/   /   __/\n"
+                + " \\  ___/ |   |  \\(  <_> )|  |  / / /_/  >|   Y  \\  |   |     |   |   \n"
+                + "  \\___  >|___|  / \\____/ |____/  \\___  / |___|  /  |___|     |___|   \n"
+                + "      \\/      \\/                /_____/       \\/   <___>     <___>   \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "graffiti",
+                                        "is this message long enough??" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void multiLineWordBreakDefaultFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply =
+            "  _                            _                             _           _     _       _                                          \n"
+                + " | |__     ___   __      __   | |   ___    _ __     __ _    (_)  ___    | |_  | |__   (_)  ___     _ __ ___     ___   ___         \n"
+                + " | '_ \\   / _ \\  \\ \\ /\\ / /   | |  / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` |   | | / __|   | __| | '_ \\  | | / __|   | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ / __|  _____ \n"
+                + " | | | | | (_) |  \\ V  V /    | | | (_) | | | | | | (_| |   | | \\__ \\   | |_  | | | | | | \\__ \\   | | | | | | |  __/ \\__ \\ |_____|\n"
+                + " |_| |_|  \\___/    \\_/\\_/     |_|  \\___/  |_| |_|  \\__, |   |_| |___/    \\__| |_| |_| |_| |___/   |_| |_| |_|  \\___| |___/        \n"
+                + "                                                   |___/                                                                          \n"
+                + "                                                            ___   ___ \n"
+                + "  ___    __ _    __ _    ___     _ __     ___   __      __ |__ \\ |__ \\\n"
+                + " / __|  / _` |  / _` |  / _ \\   | '_ \\   / _ \\  \\ \\ /\\ / /   / /   / /\n"
+                + " \\__ \\ | (_| | | (_| | |  __/   | | | | | (_) |  \\ V  V /   |_|   |_| \n"
+                + " |___/  \\__,_|  \\__, |  \\___|   |_| |_|  \\___/    \\_/\\_/    (_)   (_) \n"
+                + "                |___/                                                 \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "how", "long is this message now??" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void multiLineWordBreakGraffitiFontTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply =
+            ".__                       .__                             .__            __   .__     .__                                            \n"
+                + "|  |__    ____  __  _  __ |  |    ____    ____     ____   |__|  ______ _/  |_ |  |__  |__|  ______   _____    ____    ______         \n"
+                + "|  |  \\  /  _ \\ \\ \\/ \\/ / |  |   /  _ \\  /    \\   / ___\\  |  | /  ___/ \\   __\\|  |  \\ |  | /  ___/  /     \\ _/ __ \\  /  ___/  ______ \n"
+                + "|   Y  \\(  <_> ) \\     /  |  |__(  <_> )|   |  \\ / /_/  > |  | \\___ \\   |  |  |   Y  \\|  | \\___ \\  |  Y Y  \\\\  ___/  \\___ \\  /_____/ \n"
+                + "|___|  / \\____/   \\/\\_/   |____/ \\____/ |___|  / \\___  /  |__|/____  >  |__|  |___|  /|__|/____  > |__|_|  / \\___  >/____  >         \n"
+                + "     \\/                                      \\/ /_____/            \\/              \\/          \\/        \\/      \\/      \\/          \n"
+                + "                                                           _________ _________ \n"
+                + "  ___________      ____    ____     ____    ____  __  _  __\\_____   \\\\_____   \\\n"
+                + " /  ___/\\__  \\    / ___\\ _/ __ \\   /    \\  /  _ \\ \\ \\/ \\/ /   /   __/   /   __/\n"
+                + " \\___ \\  / __ \\_ / /_/  >\\  ___/  |   |  \\(  <_> ) \\     /   |   |     |   |   \n"
+                + "/____  >(____  / \\___  /  \\___  > |___|  / \\____/   \\/\\_/    |___|     |___|   \n"
+                + "     \\/      \\/ /_____/       \\/       \\/                    <___>     <___>   \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "graffiti",
+                                        "how long is this message now??" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void superLongMessageTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply =
+            "  _                                           _                                           _           _                          _         \n"
+                + " | |       ___    _ __    ___   _ __ ___     (_)  _ __    ___   _   _   _ __ ___       __| |   ___   | |   ___    _ __     ___  (_)        \n"
+                + " | |      / _ \\  | '__|  / _ \\ | '_ ` _ \\    | | | '_ \\  / __| | | | | | '_ ` _ \\     / _` |  / _ \\  | |  / _ \\  | '__|   / __| | |  _____ \n"
+                + " | |___  | (_) | | |    |  __/ | | | | | |   | | | |_) | \\__ \\ | |_| | | | | | | |   | (_| | | (_) | | | | (_) | | |      \\__ \\ | | |_____|\n"
+                + " |_____|  \\___/  |_|     \\___| |_| |_| |_|   |_| | .__/  |___/  \\__,_| |_| |_| |_|    \\__,_|  \\___/  |_|  \\___/  |_|      |___/ |_|        \n"
+                + "                                                 |_|                                                                                       \n"
+                + "  _                                  _                                                      _            _                    \n"
+                + " | |_      __ _   _ __ ___     ___  | |_          ___    ___    _ __    ___    ___    ___  | |_    ___  | |_   _   _   _ __   \n"
+                + " | __|    / _` | | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ | __|        / __|  / _ \\  | '_ \\  / __|  / _ \\  / __| | __|  / _ \\ | __| | | | | | '__|  \n"
+                + " | |_    | (_| | | | | | | | |  __/ | |_   _    | (__  | (_) | | | | | \\__ \\ |  __/ | (__  | |_  |  __/ | |_  | |_| | | |     \n"
+                + "  \\__|    \\__,_| |_| |_| |_|  \\___|  \\__| ( )    \\___|  \\___/  |_| |_| |___/  \\___|  \\___|  \\__|  \\___|  \\__|  \\__,_| |_|     \n"
+                + "                                          |/                                                                                  \n"
+                + "              _   _           _                _                            _   _   _           _____   _     _ \n"
+                + "   __ _    __| | (_)  _ __   (_)  ___    ___  (_)  _ __     __ _      ___  | | (_) | |_        | ____| | |_  (_)\n"
+                + "  / _` |  / _` | | | | '_ \\  | | / __|  / __| | | | '_ \\   / _` |    / _ \\ | | | | | __|       |  _|   | __| | |\n"
+                + " | (_| | | (_| | | | | |_) | | | \\__ \\ | (__  | | | | | | | (_| |   |  __/ | | | | | |_   _    | |___  | |_  | |\n"
+                + "  \\__,_|  \\__,_| |_| | .__/  |_| |___/  \\___| |_| |_| |_|  \\__, |    \\___| |_| |_|  \\__| (_)   |_____|  \\__| |_|\n"
+                + "                     |_|                                   |___/                                                \n";
+
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "Lorem",
+                                        "ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Etiam vitae erat ut dui varius sodales sed." ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void asciifontsTest()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        String expectedReply = "Available fonts for !ascii:\n" + "            graffiti ";
+
+        asciiService.asciifonts( user );
+        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
+        {
+            verify( user, times( 1 ) ).sendMessage( line );
+        }
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testChannelUseLimit()
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        doThrow( new LimitExceededException( "bob at limit" ) ).when( limitService ).addUse( user );
+        assertThat( asciiService.ascii( user, "#thefoobar", "" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob at limit" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testPrivateMessageDoNotUseLimit()
+        throws LimitExceededException
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        String expectedReply = "    _  _     _     _               __                   _                      \n"
+            + "  _| || |_  | |_  | |__     ___   / _|   ___     ___   | |__     __ _   _ __   \n"
+            + " |_  ..  _| | __| | '_ \\   / _ \\ | |_   / _ \\   / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` | | '__|  \n"
+            + " |_      _| | |_  | | | | |  __/ |  _| | (_) | | (_) | | |_) | | (_| | | |     \n"
+            + "   |_||_|    \\__| |_| |_|  \\___| |_|    \\___/   \\___/  |_.__/   \\__,_| |_|     \n"
+            + "                                                                               \n";
+
+        doThrow( new LimitExceededException( "bob at limit" ) ).when( limitService ).addUse( user );
+        assertThat( asciiService.asciiPrivateMessage( "#thefoobar", "" ) ).isEqualTo( expectedReply );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..befde597
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ChatLoggerServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ChatLoggerService chatLoggerService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLogMessages()
+    {
+        chatLoggerService.logMessage( "Hi there!" );
+        Mockito.verify( logDB ).addItem( "Hi there!\n" );
+
+        chatLoggerService.logMessage( "How are you?" );
+        Mockito.verify( logDB ).addItem( "How are you?\n" );
+
+        chatLoggerService.logMessage( "    Goodish; thanks?" );
+        Mockito.verify( logDB ).addItem( "    Goodish; thanks?\n" );
+
+        Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions( logDB );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3c21ab2f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,743 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Collections;
+import java.util.LinkedHashSet;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ChurchDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.eq;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.never;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ChurchServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ChurchService churchService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonateNoKarma()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.empty() );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user, 10 ) ).isEqualTo( "You have insufficient karma to donate." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( churchDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonateInsufficientKarma()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user, 10 ) ).isEqualTo( "You have insufficient karma to donate." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( churchDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonateNegativeKarma()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user, -5 ) ).isEqualTo( "You cannot donate a non-positive number." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( churchDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonate()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user, 10 ) ).isEqualTo( "Thank you for your donation of 10 bob!" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verify( churchDB ).getDonorKarma( "bob" );
+        verify( churchDB ).modDonorKarma( "bob", 10 );
+        verify( churchDB ).modDonorTitle( "bob", " " );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( churchDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonorDonate()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "bob the king" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 20L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user, 10 ) ).isEqualTo( "Thank you for your donation of 10 bob!" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verify( churchDB ).getDonorKarma( "bob" );
+        verify( churchDB ).modDonorKarma( "bob", 10 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( churchDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonateDuringAVote()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "bob the king" );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 20L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( Set.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie", "david" ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!inquisit" );
+        churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, user, Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( any(), endVote.capture() );
+        // Don't care about interactions from inquisit
+        Mockito.reset( karmaDB, churchDB );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.donate( user,
+                                          10 ) ).isEqualTo( "There is an ongoing vote, you cannot donate at this time." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( churchDB );
+
+        // end the vote so state goes back to normal for other tests
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testChurchTotal()
+    {
+        when( churchDB.getTotalDonations() ).thenReturn( 100L );
+        when( churchDB.getTotalNonDonations() ).thenReturn( 50L );
+        assertThat( churchService.churchTotal() ).isEqualTo( "The church coffers contains 150, of which 100 was contributed by its loyal believers." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopDonorsNoDonors()
+    {
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( churchService.topDonors() ).isEqualTo( "The church does not have enough followers yet." );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( Collections.emptySet() );
+        assertThat( churchService.topDonors() ).isEqualTo( "The church does not have enough followers yet." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopDonors()
+    {
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob",
+                                                                                              "charlie" ) ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( " " );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 20L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "bob the king" );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( "charlie the joker" );
+        assertThat( churchService.topDonors() ).isEqualTo( "NICK           AMOUNT    TITLE\n"
+            + "ecila          20         \n" + "bob            10        bob the king\n"
+            + "eilrahc        5         charlie the joker" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSetTitleNonDonor()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.empty() );
+        assertThat( churchService.setTitle( user,
+                                            "bob the king" ) ).isEqualTo( "You must be a top donor to set your title." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSetTitleNonTopDonor()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.setTitle( user,
+                                            "bob the king" ) ).isEqualTo( "You must be a top donor to set your title." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSetTitle()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "bob the knight" );
+        assertThat( churchService.setTitle( user,
+                                            "bob the king" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob is now to be referred to as bob the king instead of bob the knight." );
+        verify( churchDB ).modDonorTitle( "bob", "bob the king" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSetTooLongTitle()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( "bob the knight" );
+        assertThat( churchService.setTitle( user,
+                                            "bob the super amazing kingly heavenly king" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob is now to be referred to as bob the super amazing kingly heavenly k instead of bob the knight." );
+        verify( churchDB ).modDonorTitle( "bob", "bob the super amazing kingly heavenly k" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionNonDonor()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!inquisit" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.empty() );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, user,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "You must be a top donor to start an inquisition." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionNonTopDonor()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!inquisit" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, user,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "You must be a top donor to start an inquisition." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionNotEnoughMembers()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!inquisit" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( Set.of( "alice", "bob" ) );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, user,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "There are not enough members of the church to invoke a vote" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionAgainstSomeoneWithNoDonations()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!inquisit" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.empty() );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( Set.of( "alice", "bob", "member2", "member3" ) );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, bob,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "charlie" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "You cannot start an inquisition against someone who has no donation value." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionNoVotes()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, bob,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionNotEnoughVotes()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, bob,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (false) bob (true) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInquisitionBottomThreeCanInquisit()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, bob,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (false) bob (true) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( david ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (false) bob (true) charlie (true) david (true) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has passed. user will be stripped of their karma." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB ).modNonDonorKarma( 5 );
+        verify( churchDB ).removeDonor( "user" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopCannotInquisitAlone()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, bob,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopCannotInquisitWithBottomDonor()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, alice,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( david ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (true) bob (false) charlie (false) david (true) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTopCanInquisitWithSecondLowestTopDonor()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, alice,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (true) bob (false) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has passed. user will be stripped of their karma." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB ).modNonDonorKarma( 5 );
+        verify( churchDB ).removeDonor( "user" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testStarterCanNayToChangeTheirVote()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, alice,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (true) bob (false) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+        assertThat( churchService.voteNay( alice ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (false) bob (false) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDonorCanNayToChangeTheirVote()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        User david = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( david.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( david.getNick() ).thenReturn( "david" );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 3L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorRank( "david" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 4L ) );
+
+        when( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "user" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+        when( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0L, 3L ) ).thenReturn( new LinkedHashSet<>( List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie",
+                                                                                              "david" ) ) );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!inquisit user" );
+        assertThat( churchService.inquisit( channelMessageEvent, alice,
+                                            Nick.valueOf( "user" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "An inquisition has started against user. Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay\n"
+                                                + "alice bob charlie david " );
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> endVote = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), endVote.capture() );
+
+        assertThat( churchService.voteAye( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (true) bob (false) charlie (true) david (false) " );
+        assertThat( churchService.voteNay( charlie ) ).isEqualTo( "alice (true) bob (false) charlie (false) david (false) " );
+
+        endVote.getValue().run();
+
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Voting is now finished" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The vote to inquisit user has failed. Nothing will happen." );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modDonorKarma( any(), any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).modNonDonorKarma( any() );
+        verify( churchDB, never() ).removeDonor( any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f10a64f7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,593 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.anyInt;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.eq;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class CountdownServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    CountdownService countdownService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSolutionWhenNoGameInSession()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "1 + 10 * 20" ) ).isEqualTo( "No active game. Start a new one with !countdown." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRules()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        countdownService.getRules( user );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( " " + Colors.RED + "COUNTDOWN RULES:" + Colors.NORMAL );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "1) Get as close as you can to the target number using only the numbers given." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( Colors.RED + "TIP: You do not have to use all the numbers." + Colors.NORMAL );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "2) Answer with !solution <your answer> . Make sure to only use valid characters, such as numbers and + - * / ( ) . " );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "Breaking Rule 2 will subject you to a loss of 10 karma." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "3) The closer you are to the target number, the more karma you will get (max. 10)." );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( Colors.RED + "TIP: If you are over/under 200 you will be penalized 10 karma."
+            + Colors.NORMAL );
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "4) Use \" /msg CountdownB0t !solution <your answer> \" for your answers." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameNoResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameTooLowResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 + 1" ) ).isEqualTo( "You have put an answer that breaks the threshold of +-200, you lose 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameTooHighResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * 5 * 2" ) ).isEqualTo( "You have put an answer that breaks the threshold of +-200, you lose 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameInvalidSyntaxResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "hi Countdown!" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! You have put an invalid answer, you lose 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameInvalidNumberResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "500" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! You have put an invalid answer, you lose 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameDuplicateNumberResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * 4 + 25 * 4" ) ).isEqualTo( "Sorry bob! You have put an invalid answer, you lose 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameInRangeButNotCloseEnoughResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * (1 + 3)" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 4 * (1 + 3) has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The final submissions are:" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, with 25 * 4 * (1 + 3) = 400" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "There are no winners for this game. Better luck next time!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameCorrectResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * 5" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 4 * 5 has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The final submissions are:" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, with 25 * 4 * 5 = 500" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The winners are :" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, awarded 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 10 );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameCorrectResponseDuplicates()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 525 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 5, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 5, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "625" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( user,
+                                                 "25 * 5 * 5" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 5 * 5 has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "625" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The final submissions are:" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, with 25 * 5 * 5 = 625" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The winners are :" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, awarded 10 karma." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 10 );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testGameMultipleAnswersResponse()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User charlie = mock( User.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( charlie.getNick() ).thenReturn( "charlie" );
+        when( charlie.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomInt( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( 1 ).thenReturn( 400 );
+        when( randomProvider.shuffleList( any() ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 25, 50, 75,
+                                                                         100 ) ).thenReturn( List.of( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
+                                                                                                      7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
+                                                                                                      3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
+                                                                                                      9, 10 ) );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!countdown" );
+        assertThat( countdownService.startNewGame( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( Colors.DARK_GREEN
+            + "Welcome to Countdown!" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "See the game rules with !countdownrules.\n"
+            + "Your numbers are:\n" + Colors.RED + "[25, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Your target is:\n"
+            + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL + "\n" + "Good luck! You have 45 seconds.\n" + Colors.RED
+            + "Use \" /msg \u000FCountdownB0t1\u000304 !solution < answer > \" to submit." + Colors.NORMAL );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 45 ) ), any() );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( bob,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * 5" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 4 * 5 has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( alice,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * 5 - 3" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 4 * 5 - 3 has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        assertThat( countdownService.onSolution( charlie,
+                                                 "25 * 4 * (1 + 3)" ) ).isEqualTo( "Your submission of 25 * 4 * (1 + 3) has been received!" );
+        verifyNoInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Your time is up! The target number was " + Colors.RED + "500" + Colors.NORMAL
+            + "." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The final submissions are:" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "alice, with 25 * 4 * 5 - 3 = 497" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, with 25 * 4 * 5 = 500" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "charlie, with 25 * 4 * (1 + 3) = 400" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "The winners are :" );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "alice, awarded 7 karma." );
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "bob, awarded 10 karma." );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", 7 );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", 10 );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..25739f2c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,82 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Optional;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class DecideServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    DecideService decideService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDecideOneOption()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "a" ) ) ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.empty(), Optional.empty(),
+                                              List.of( "a" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "If you already know what you want to do, what are you bugging me for? You should a. Go do that now." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDecideMultipleOptions()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).thenReturn( "b" ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.empty(), Optional.empty(),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think you should b. Go do that now." );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.empty(), Optional.empty(),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think you should a. Go do that now." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDecideWithNoun()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).thenReturn( "b" ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.of( "[bob]" ), Optional.empty(),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think bob should b. Go do that now." );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.of( "[bob]" ), Optional.empty(),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think bob should a. Go do that now." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDecideWithPrefix()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).thenReturn( "b" ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.empty(), Optional.of( "{surely do}" ),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think you should surely do b. Go do that now." );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.empty(), Optional.of( "{surely do}" ),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think you should surely do a. Go do that now." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDecideWithNounAndPrefix()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).thenReturn( "b" ).thenReturn( "a" );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.of( "[bob]" ), Optional.of( "{surely do}" ),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think bob should surely do b. Go do that now." );
+        assertThat( decideService.onDecision( Optional.of( "[bob]" ), Optional.of( "{surely do}" ),
+                                              List.of( "a", "b", "c" ) ) ).isEqualTo(
+                                                                                      "I think bob should surely do a. Go do that now." );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..356e5c16
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,151 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.io.IOException;
+import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
+import java.net.InetAddress;
+import java.net.UnknownHostException;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.InetAddressProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.anyInt;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class DownOrJustMeServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    DownOrJustMeService downOrJustMeService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    InetAddressProvider inetAddressProvider;
+
+    @BeforeEach
+    public void setupForbiddenInetAddress()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress( false, false, new byte[] { 10, 0, 0, 0 } );
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getByName( "10.0.0.0" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+    }
+
+    private InetAddress getInetAddress()
+    {
+        return getInetAddress( false, false );
+    }
+
+    private InetAddress getInetAddress( boolean isMulticast, boolean isLoopback )
+    {
+        return getInetAddress( isMulticast, isLoopback, new byte[] { 127, 0, 0, 1 } );
+    }
+
+    private InetAddress getInetAddress( boolean isMulticast, boolean isLoopback, byte[] address )
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = mock( InetAddress.class );
+        when( inetAddress.isMulticastAddress() ).thenReturn( isMulticast );
+        when( inetAddress.isLoopbackAddress() ).thenReturn( isLoopback );
+        when( inetAddress.getAddress() ).thenReturn( address );
+        return inetAddress;
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void test200Url()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress();
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "https://www.google.com/" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "GET", "https://www.google.com/",
+                                      DownOrJustMeServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ),
+                                      200 );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "https://www.google.com/" ) ).isEqualTo( "LGTM! It's just you." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void test404Url()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress();
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "https://www.google.com/404" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "GET", "https://www.google.com/404",
+                                      DownOrJustMeServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ),
+                                      404 );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "https://www.google.com/404" ) ).isEqualTo( "It responded with a non-2xx status code (404), but the host is up." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonResolvableHostname()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "secret-host-name-thats-not-gonna-be-resolved-anyhow" ) ).thenThrow( new UnknownHostException() );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "secret-host-name-thats-not-gonna-be-resolved-anyhow" ) ).isEqualTo( "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testReachableHostWithNoHttpService()
+        throws IOException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress();
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "129.146.47.116" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "GET", "http://129.146.47.116:80/",
+                                      DownOrJustMeServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ),
+                                      500 );
+        HttpURLConnection connection = urlMocker.getConnection( "http://129.146.47.116:80/" );
+        when( connection.getResponseCode() ).thenThrow( new IOException() );
+        when( inetAddress.isReachable( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "129.146.47.116" ) ).isEqualTo( "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUnreachableHost()
+        throws IOException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress();
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "1.2.3.4" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        urlMocker.mockHttpConnection( "GET", "http://1.2.3.4:80/",
+                                      DownOrJustMeServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "example-webpage.html" ),
+                                      500 );
+        HttpURLConnection connection = urlMocker.getConnection( "http://1.2.3.4:80/" );
+        when( connection.getResponseCode() ).thenThrow( new IOException() );
+        when( inetAddress.isReachable( anyInt() ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "1.2.3.4" ) ).isEqualTo( "Nope, it's not just you. The host looks down from here, too!" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testMulticast()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress( true, false );
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "224.0.0.1" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "224.0.0.1" ) ).isEqualTo( "A multicast address? Seriously? Stop flooding the network already." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLocalHost()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress( false, true );
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "127.0.0.1" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "127.0.0.1" ) ).isEqualTo( "You wouldn't think I was that vulnerable, right?" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDisallowedSubnet()
+        throws UnknownHostException
+    {
+        InetAddress inetAddress = getInetAddress( false, false, new byte[] { 10, 0, 0, 1 } );
+        ;
+        when( inetAddressProvider.getHostNetAddress( "10.0.0.1" ) ).thenReturn( inetAddress );
+        assertThat( downOrJustMeService.check( "10.0.0.1" ) ).isEqualTo( "Ah-ha! Destinations in subnet 10.0.0.0/8 are not allowed." );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3d341496
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.ExcuseDB;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ExcusesServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ExcusesService excusesService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    ExcuseDB excuseDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoExcuses()
+    {
+        Mockito.when( excuseDB.getRandExcuse() ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( excusesService.getExcuse() ).isEqualTo( "No excuses available" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testExcuse()
+    {
+        Mockito.when( excuseDB.getRandExcuse() ).thenReturn( "This is an excuse" );
+        assertThat( excusesService.getExcuse() ).isEqualTo( "This is an excuse" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addExcuse()
+    {
+        assertThat( excusesService.addExcuse( "my excuse" ) ).isEqualTo( "Excuse was added to database" );
+        Mockito.verify( excuseDB ).addExcuse( "my excuse" );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7d09c8ab
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,40 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class FortuneServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    FortuneService fortuneService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFortune()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for",
+                                                        "A friend asks only for your time not your money",
+                                                        "If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it" ) ) ).thenReturn( "Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for" ).thenReturn( "If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it" );
+        assertThat( fortuneService.onFortune() ).isEqualTo( "Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for" );
+        assertThat( fortuneService.onFortune() ).isEqualTo( "If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDirtyFortune()
+    {
+        assertThat( fortuneService.onDirtyFortune() ).isEqualTo( "oooo you dirty" );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..fe394d40
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.net.URLEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class GetInfoOnServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    GetInfoOnService getInfoOnService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetInfoOn()
+    {
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( "https://www.google.com/search?q=hot+dog+site%3Awikipedia.org",
+                                  GetInfoOnServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "google-results.html" ) );
+
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( "https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_dog",
+                                  GetInfoOnServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "wikipedia-hot-dog.html" ) );
+        assertThat( getInfoOnService.getInfoOn( "hot dog" ) ).isEqualTo( "A hot dog (less commonly spelled hotdog) is a dish consisting of a grilled or steamed sausage served in the slit of a partially sliced bun. The term hot dog can also refer to the sausage itself. The sausage used is a wiener (Vienna sausage) or a frankfurter (Frankfurter Würstchen, also just called frank). The names of these sausages also commonly refer to their assembled dish. Hot dog preparation ..." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetFailedInfoOn()
+    {
+        assertThat( getInfoOnService.getInfoOn( "cat" ) ).isEqualTo( "Look, I don't know." );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b122bcac
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ImageToAsciiServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ImageToAsciiService imageToAsciiService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testConvert()
+    {
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( "https://example.com/image.png",
+                                  ImageToAsciiServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "test-image.png" ) );
+        assertThat( imageToAsciiService.convert( "https://example.com/image.png" ) ).isEqualTo( "     #@@@@@@@@#                                   \n"
+            + "  .#@@#&.    8@@&                                 \n"
+            + "  @@@           @@*                               \n"
+            + " 8@# .8#.   &8o o@@o                              \n"
+            + ":@#   8#o    .   &@@                              \n"
+            + ":@&              o@@                              \n"
+            + " @#  #o      #8  #@@                              \n"
+            + "  @@  o@@@@@@8  @@@o                              \n"
+            + "  &@@         &@@@*                               \n"
+            + "    o@@@#&&8#@@@o                                 \n"
+            + "       8@@@@@8:                                   \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  \n"
+            + "                                                  " );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFailedConvert()
+    {
+        assertThat( imageToAsciiService.convert( "https://example.com/404.png" ) ).isEqualTo( "Could not convert image." );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..ae828b46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class InspirationServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    InspirationService inspirationService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInspiration()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( 0, 4 ) ) ).thenReturn( 4 ).thenReturn( 0 );
+        assertThat( inspirationService.onInspiration() ).isEqualTo( "\"A little fire, Scarecrow?\"" );
+        assertThat( inspirationService.onInspiration() ).isEqualTo( "\"... the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but\n"
+            + "the person who can question the answers.\"\n"
+            + "        ― Theodore Schick Jr., in The_Skeptical_Inquirer, March/April, 1997" );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c2ba9b77
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,62 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TestUrlStreamHandler;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.URLFactory;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class JazizServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    JazizService jazizService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlMocker;
+
+    @ConfigProperty( name = "vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key" )
+    String API_KEY;
+
+    private void setupURL( String word )
+    {
+        urlMocker.mockConnection( JazizService.API_URL + API_KEY + "/" + word + JazizService.API_FORMAT,
+                                  JazizServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "translations-" + word + ".json" ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testJaziz()
+    {
+        setupURL( "hello" );
+        setupURL( "cold" );
+        setupURL( "myself" );
+        setupURL( "running" );
+        setupURL( "fast" );
+        setupURL( "tower" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "hey", "hola",
+                                                        "hi" ) ) ).thenReturn( "hey" ).thenReturn( "hola" );
+
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "building" ) ) ).thenReturn( "building" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "chilly" ) ) ).thenReturn( "chilly" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "me" ) ) ).thenReturn( "me" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "speedily" ) ) ).thenReturn( "speedily" );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "sprinting" ) ) ).thenReturn( "sprinting" );
+
+        assertThat( jazizService.jazizify( "hello tower, are you cold? myself is fast running ok. See you later." ) ).isEqualTo( "hey building, are you chilly? me is speedily sprinting ok. See you later." );
+    }
+
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3a4c5f0b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.eq;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class KaomojiServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    KaomojiService kaomojiService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testKaomoji()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( eq( List.of( ":)", ":D" ) ) ) ).thenReturn( ":)" ).thenReturn( ":D" );
+
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "happy" ) ).isEqualTo( ":)" );
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "happy" ) ).isEqualTo( ":D" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testKaomojiMappingToMultipleCategories()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "?" ) ) ).thenReturn( "?" );
+
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "confused" ) ).isEqualTo( "?" );
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "mystery" ) ).isEqualTo( "?" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSpecialKaomoji()
+    {
+        when( randomProvider.getRandomElement( List.of( "?" ) ) ).thenReturn( "?" );
+
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "wat" ) ).isEqualTo( "?" );
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "nsfw" ) ).isEqualTo( "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)" );
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "wtf" ) ).isEqualTo( "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)" );
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "vilebot" ) ).isEqualTo( "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testMissingKaomoji()
+    {
+        assertThat( kaomojiService.getKaomoji( "404" ) ).isEqualTo( "щ(ಥдಥщ)" );
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6e3433a4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,280 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+import java.util.Optional;
+import java.util.concurrent.Future;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.KarmaDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+import org.mockito.Mockito;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.eq;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class KarmaTransferServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaTransferService karmaTransferService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testTransferTimeout()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() );
+        verify( channel ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Transfer failed. No response was received within 30 seconds." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testStartingSecondTransferWhenATransferInProgress()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "A transfer is already active. bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject this transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() );
+        verify( channel, times( 2 ) ).getClient();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( channel );
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        verify( channel ).sendMessage( "Transfer failed. No response was received within 30 seconds." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testAcceptedTransfer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!accept" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.acceptTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Only alice may accept this transfer." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!accept" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.acceptTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Transfer success! bob has transferred 1000 karma to alice!" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "bob", -1000L );
+        verify( karmaDB ).modNounKarma( "alice", 1000L );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( future ).cancel( true );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testRejectedTransfer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!reject" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.rejectTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Only alice may reject this transfer." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!reject" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.rejectTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "alice has rejected bob's transfer." );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+
+        verify( future ).cancel( true );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    @SuppressWarnings( { "rawtypes", "unchecked" } )
+    public void testCancelledTransfer()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User bob = mock( User.class );
+        User alice = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+        Future future = mock( Future.class );
+
+        when( bob.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( bob.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( alice.getNick() ).thenReturn( "alice" );
+        when( alice.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( timeService.onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() ) ).thenReturn( future );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob wants to transfer 1000 karma to alice. alice, please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
+
+        verify( timeService ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofSeconds( 30 ) ), any() );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!cancel" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.cancelTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "Only bob may cancel this transfer." );
+        verifyNoInteractions( future );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, bob, channel, "!cancel" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.cancelTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isEqualTo( "bob has cancelled this transfer." );
+        verify( future ).cancel( true );
+
+        channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, alice, channel, "!accept" );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.acceptTransfer( channelMessageEvent ) ).isNull();
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNegativeTransferAmount()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 1000L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        -1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "-1000 isn't a valid amount. Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma as the amount you want to transfer." );
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLackingKarmaTransferAmount()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( user.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent =
+            new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, user, channel, "!transfer alice 1000" );
+
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 10L ) );
+        assertThat( karmaTransferService.transferKarma( channelMessageEvent, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                        -1000L ) ).isEqualTo( "-1000 isn't a valid amount. Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma as the amount you want to transfer." );
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( timeService );
+        verify( karmaDB ).getNounKarma( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( karmaDB );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7c73fb7e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,306 @@
+<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?>
+<queryresult success='true'
+             error='false'
+             xml:space='preserve'
+             numpods='11'
+             datatypes='HistoricalSite,Leader,Person,USCounty'
+             timedout=''
+             timedoutpods=''
+             timing='3.841'
+             parsetiming='0.467'
+             parsetimedout='false'
+             recalculate=''
+             host='https://www5b.wolframalpha.com'
+             server='45'
+             version='2.6'
+             inputstring='George Washington'>
+ <pod title='Input interpretation'
+      scanner='Identity'
+      id='Input'
+      position='100'
+      error='false'
+      numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext>George Washington (politician)</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+   <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Basic information'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='BasicInformation:PeopleData'
+       position='200'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+     <microsource>USCountyData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext>full name | George Washington
+date of birth | Friday, February 11, 1732 (Julian calendar) (289 years ago)
+place of birth | Westmoreland County, Virginia
+date of death | Saturday, December 14, 1799 (Gregorian calendar) (age: 67 years)
+ (221 years ago)
+place of death | Mount Vernon, Virginia, United States</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <statelist count='3'
+              value='Local historical calendar'
+              delimiters=''>
+    <state name='Local historical calendar'
+           input='BasicInformation:PeopleData__Local historical calendar' />
+     <state name='Gregorian calendar'
+            input='BasicInformation:PeopleData__Gregorian calendar' />
+     <state name='Julian calendar'
+            input='BasicInformation:PeopleData__Julian calendar' />
+   </statelist>
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Image'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='Image:PeopleData'
+       position='300'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <imagesource>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Gilbert_Stuart_Williamstown_Portrait_of_George_Washington.jpg</imagesource>
+    <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext></plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Leadership positions'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='Position:LeaderData'
+       position='400'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>LeaderData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext>official position | country | start date | end date
+senior officer (Department of Defense) | United States | 13-07-1798 | 14-12-1799
+president (1st) | United States | 30-04-1789 | 04-03-1797
+continental Army general and commander in chief (Department of Defense) | United States | 15-06-1775 | 23-12-1783</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Timeline'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='Timeline:PeopleData'
+       position='500'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext></plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='TimelinePlot' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='Include today'
+          input='Timeline:PeopleData__Include today' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Notable facts'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='NotableFacts:PeopleData'
+       position='600'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <datasources>
+    <datasource>TheWikimediaFoundationIncWikipedia</datasource>
+   </datasources>
+    <plaintext>First US president and preeminent military and political leader during formative years of the country
+Champion of Federalist policies, including strong national government, who oversaw drafting of the US Constitution
+Famously led troops across icy Delaware River for significant victory over British at Trenton
+Commander in chief of the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Physical characteristics'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='PhysicalCharacteristics:PeopleData'
+       position='700'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext>height | 1.88 meters</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='Show non-metric'
+          input='PhysicalCharacteristics:PeopleData__Show non-metric' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Familial relationships'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='FamilialRelationships:PeopleData'
+       position='800'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='3'>
+  <subpod title='Parents'>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext>Augustine Washington | Mary Ball Washington</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <subpod title='Siblings'>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+      <plaintext>John Augustine Washington | Betty Washington Lewis | Samuel Washington | Charles Washington | Mildred Washington | ...</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <subpod title='Spouse'>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+      <plaintext>Martha Washington (1759-1799)</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='3'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+      <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+      <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='2'>
+   <state name='Show full dates'
+          input='FamilialRelationships:PeopleData__Show full dates' />
+      <state name='More'
+             input='FamilialRelationships:PeopleData__More' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Associated historical sites'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='AssociatedHistoricalSites:PeopleData'
+       position='900'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>HistoricalSiteData</microsource>
+     <microsource>PeopleData</microsource>
+     <microsource>USCountyData</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <datasources>
+    <datasource>Freebase</datasource>
+   </datasources>
+    <plaintext>Mount Rushmore (Pennington County, South Dakota) | George Washington Masonic National Memorial (Alexandria, Virginia, United States) | George Washington Birthplace National Monument (Westmoreland County, Virginia) | Tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Soldier (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States) | Washington Memorial Chapel (Montgomery County, Pennsylvania) | ... (total: 8)</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='More'
+          input='AssociatedHistoricalSites:PeopleData__More' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Wikipedia summary'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='WikipediaSummary:PeopleData'
+       position='1000'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext>George Washington (February 22, 1732 - December 14, 1799) was an American political leader, military general, statesman, and Founding Father of the United States, who served as the first president of the United States from 1789 to 1797. Washington led the Patriot forces to victory in the American Revolutionary War, and presided at the Constitutional Convention of 1787, which established ...</plaintext>
+    <infos count='1'>
+    <info>
+     <link url='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki?curid=11968'
+           text='Full entry' />
+    </info>
+   </infos>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='More'
+          input='WikipediaSummary:PeopleData__More' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Wikipedia page hits history'
+       scanner='Data'
+       id='PopularityPod:WikipediaStatsData'
+       position='1100'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext></plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='TimeSeriesPlot' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='Log scale'
+          input='PopularityPod:WikipediaStatsData__Log scale' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <assumptions count='2'>
+  <assumption type='Clash'
+              word='George Washington'
+              template='Assuming &quot;${word}&quot; is ${desc1}. Use as ${desc2} instead'
+              count='5'>
+   <value name='Person'
+          desc='a person'
+          input='*C.George+Washington-_*Person-' />
+    <value name='City'
+           desc='a city'
+           input='*C.George+Washington-_*City-' />
+    <value name='USPublicSchool'
+           desc='a public school'
+           input='*C.George+Washington-_*USPublicSchool-' />
+    <value name='Movie'
+           desc='a movie'
+           input='*C.George+Washington-_*Movie-' />
+    <value name='Book'
+           desc='a book'
+           input='*C.George+Washington-_*Book-' />
+  </assumption>
+    <assumption type='SubCategory'
+                word='George Washington'
+                template='Assuming ${desc1}. Use ${desc2} instead'
+                count='2'>
+   <value name='GeorgeWashington::7v7hm'
+          desc='George Washington (politician)'
+          input='*DPClash.PersonE.George+Washington-_*GeorgeWashington%3A%3A7v7hm-' />
+      <value name='GeorgeWashington::z6zk7'
+             desc='George Washington (baseball player)'
+             input='*DPClash.PersonE.George+Washington-_*GeorgeWashington%3A%3Az6zk7-' />
+  </assumption>
+ </assumptions>
+  <sources count='4'>
+  <source url='https://www5b.wolframalpha.com/sources/HistoricalSiteDataSourceInformationNotes.html'
+          text='Historical site data' />
+    <source url='https://www5b.wolframalpha.com/sources/LeaderDataSourceInformationNotes.html'
+            text='Leader data' />
+    <source url='https://www5b.wolframalpha.com/sources/PeopleDataSourceInformationNotes.html'
+            text='People data' />
+    <source url='https://www5b.wolframalpha.com/sources/USCountyDataSourceInformationNotes.html'
+            text='US county data' />
+ </sources>
+</queryresult>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b1bfcecc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
@@ -0,0 +1,115 @@
+<?xml version='1.0' encoding='UTF-8'?>
+<queryresult success='true'
+             error='false'
+             xml:space='preserve'
+             numpods='6'
+             datatypes='Math'
+             timedout=''
+             timedoutpods=''
+             timing='1.047'
+             parsetiming='0.17300000000000001'
+             parsetimedout='false'
+             recalculate=''
+             host='https://www3.wolframalpha.com'
+             server='6'
+             version='2.6'
+             inputstring='1 + 1'>
+ <pod title='Input'
+      scanner='Identity'
+      id='Input'
+      position='100'
+      error='false'
+      numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext>1 + 1</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+   <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Result'
+       scanner='Simplification'
+       id='Result'
+       position='200'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'
+       primary='true'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext>2</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='Step-by-step solution'
+          input='Result__Step-by-step solution'
+          stepbystep='true' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Number line'
+       scanner='NumberLine'
+       id='NumberLine'
+       position='300'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext></plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='1DMathPlot' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Number name'
+       scanner='Integer'
+       id='NumberName'
+       position='400'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext>two</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Manipulatives illustration'
+       scanner='Arithmetic'
+       id='Illustration'
+       position='500'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <plaintext> | + | | = |
+1 | | 1 | | 2</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Default' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+ </pod>
+  <pod title='Typical human computation times'
+       scanner='Arithmetic'
+       id='TypicalHumanComputationTimes'
+       position='600'
+       error='false'
+       numsubpods='1'>
+  <subpod title=''>
+   <microsources>
+    <microsource>HumanComputationQuery</microsource>
+   </microsources>
+    <plaintext>age 6: 3.2 seconds | age 8: 1.8 seconds | age 10: 1.2 seconds |
+age 18: 0.83 seconds
+(ignoring concentration, repetition, variations in education, etc.)</plaintext>
+  </subpod>
+    <expressiontypes count='1'>
+   <expressiontype name='Grid' />
+  </expressiontypes>
+    <states count='1'>
+   <state name='More details'
+          input='TypicalHumanComputationTimes__More details' />
+  </states>
+ </pod>
+  <sources count='1'>
+  <source url='https://www3.wolframalpha.com/sources/HumanComputationQuerySourceInformationNotes.html'
+          text='Human computation query' />
+ </sources>
+</queryresult>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6795e93c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
+    <meta charset="UTF-8">
+    <title>Search Results - Hot Dog</title>
+</head>
+<body>
+<div>
+    <a href="/url?source=web&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FHot_dog">
+        <br>
+        <h3>Hot dog - Wikipedia</h3>
+        <div>
+            <cite>https://en.wikipedia.org
+                <span> › wiki › Hot_dog</span>
+            </cite>
+        </div>
+    </a>
+    <div>
+        <div>
+            <cite>
+                https://en.wikipedia.org
+                <span> › wiki › Hot_dog</span>
+            </cite>
+        </div>
+        <div>
+          <span>
+            <div class="action-menu">
+              <a href="#" aria-label="Result options" aria-expanded="false" aria-haspopup="true"
+                 role="button"
+              >
+                <span></span>
+              </a>
+              <ol class="action-menu-panel" role="menu" tabindex="-1">
+                <li class="action-menu-item" role="menuitem">
+                  <a href="/url?q=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_dog">
+                    <span>Cached</span>
+                  </a>
+                </li>
+                <li class="action-menu-item" role="menuitem">
+                  <a class="fl"
+                     href="/search?q=related:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_dog+hot+dog">
+                    <span>Similar</span>
+                  </a>
+                </li>
+              </ol>
+            </div>
+          </span>
+        </div>
+    </div>
+</div>
+</body>
+</html>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..fea27a8f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
@@ -0,0 +1,617 @@
+flf2a$ 6 5 32 15 4
+Font name is graffiti.flf
+This figlet font designed by Leigh Purdie (purdie@zeus.usq.edu.au)
+'fig-fonted' by Leigh Purdie and Tim Maggio (tim@claremont.com)
+Date: 5 Mar 1994
+$@
+$@
+$@
+$@
+$@
+$@@
+._.@
+| |@
+| |@
+ \|@
+ __@
+ \/@@
+/\/\@
+)/)/@
+    @
+    @
+    @
+    @@
+   _  _   @
+__| || |__@
+\   __   /@
+ |  ||  | @
+/_  ~~  _\@
+  |_||_|  @@
+  ____/\__@
+ /   / /_/@
+ \__/ / \ @
+ / / /   \@
+/_/ /__  /@
+  \/   \/ @@
+ _   /\ @
+/ \ / / @
+\_// /_ @
+  / // \@
+ / / \_/@
+ \/     @@
+  ____   @
+ /  _ \  @
+ >  _ </\@
+/  <_\ \/@
+\_____\ \@
+       \/@@
+/\@
+)/@
+  @
+  @
+  @
+  @@
+$   ___$@
+$  /  /$@
+$ /  / $@
+$(  (  $@
+$ \  \ $@
+$  \__\$@@
+$___   $@
+$\  \  $@
+$ \  \ $@
+$  )  )$@
+$ /  / $@
+$/__/  $@@
+$         $@
+$ /\|\/\  $@
+$_)    (__$@
+$\_     _/$@
+$  )    \ $@
+$  \/\|\/ $@@
+$          $@
+$   .__    $@
+$ __|  |___$@
+$/__    __/$@
+$   |__|   $@
+$          $@@
+$  @
+$  @
+$  @
+$  @
+$/\@
+$)/@@
+$       $@
+$       $@
+$ ______$@
+$/_____/$@
+$       $@
+$       $@@
+$  @
+$  @
+$  @
+$  @
+$/\@
+$\/@@
+$    /\$@
+$   / /$@
+$  / / $@
+$ / /  $@
+$/ /   $@
+$\/    $@@
+_______   @
+\   _  \  @
+/  /_\  \ @
+\  \_/   \@
+ \_____  /@
+       \/ @@
+ ____ @
+/_   |@
+ |   |@
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diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..20600263
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "adjective": {
+    "syn": ["chilly"]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..86a6b00e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "adverb": {
+    "syn": ["speedily"]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..76c22e49
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "verb": {
+    "syn": [ "hey", "hola", "hi" ]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..3e90f1a1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "pronoun": {
+    "syn": ["me"]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..32a4fb99
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "verb": {
+    "syn": [ "sprinting" ]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c10ae3bb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+{
+  "noun": {
+    "syn": ["building"]
+  }
+}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..232d20e2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html>
+<!-- Taken from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_dog, modified to only include summary text -->
+<html lang="en">
+<head>
+    <meta charset="UTF-8">
+    <title>Hot Dog</title>
+</head>
+<body>
+<div id="mw-content-text" class="mw-body-content mw-content-ltr" dir="ltr" lang="en"><div class="mw-parser-output"><div class="shortdescription nomobile noexcerpt noprint searchaux" style="display:none">Sausage in a bun</div>
+    <style data-mw-deduplicate="TemplateStyles:r1033289096">.mw-parser-output .hatnote{font-style:italic}.mw-parser-output div.hatnote{padding-left:1.6em;margin-bottom:0.5em}.mw-parser-output .hatnote i{font-style:normal}.mw-parser-output .hatnote+link+.hatnote{margin-top:-0.5em}</style><div role="note" class="hatnote navigation-not-searchable">For other uses, see <a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_(disambiguation)" class="mw-disambig" title="Hot dog (disambiguation)">Hot dog (disambiguation)</a>.</div>
+    <p class="mw-empty-elt">
+    </p>
+    <table class="infobox hrecipe adr"><caption class="infobox-title fn" style="font-size:125%;"><span>Hot dog</span></caption><tbody><tr><td colspan="2" class="infobox-image"><a href="/wiki/File:Hot_dog_with_mustard.png" class="image"><img alt="Hot dog with mustard.png" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Hot_dog_with_mustard.png/220px-Hot_dog_with_mustard.png" decoding="async" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Hot_dog_with_mustard.png/330px-Hot_dog_with_mustard.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Hot_dog_with_mustard.png/440px-Hot_dog_with_mustard.png 2x" data-file-width="2562" data-file-height="1251" width="220" height="107"></a><div class="infobox-caption" style="padding-bottom:0.25em;border-bottom:1px solid #aaa;">A typical hot dog with <a href="/wiki/American_mustard" class="mw-redirect" title="American mustard">mustard</a> <a href="/wiki/Condiment" title="Condiment">condiment</a></div></td></tr><tr class="note"><th scope="row" class="infobox-label" style="line-height:1.15em; padding-right:0.65em;">Alternative names</th><td class="infobox-data">Frankfurter, frank, wiener, weenie, tube steak, sausage, banger, coney</td></tr><tr class="note"><th scope="row" class="infobox-label" style="line-height:1.15em; padding-right:0.65em;">Place of origin</th><td class="infobox-data country-name"><a href="/wiki/Germany" title="Germany">Germany</a> (early version)
+        <a href="/wiki/United_States" title="United States">United States</a> (modern version)</td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="infobox-label" style="line-height:1.15em; padding-right:0.65em;">Serving temperature</th><td class="infobox-data">Hot</td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="infobox-label" style="line-height:1.15em; padding-right:0.65em;">Main ingredients</th><td class="infobox-data ingredient">Sausage made from pork, beef, chicken, turkey or combinations thereof<br>and a bun</td></tr><tr><th scope="row" class="infobox-label" style="line-height:1.15em; padding-right:0.65em;">Variations</th><td class="infobox-data"><a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_variations" title="Hot dog variations">Multiple</a></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="infobox-below" style="border-top:1px solid #aaa;padding-top:0.25em;"><div class="plainlist"><ul><li><a href="/wiki/File:Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg" class="image"><img alt="" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/df/Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg/16px-Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg.png" decoding="async" class="noviewer" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/df/Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg/24px-Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/df/Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg/32px-Wikibooks-logo-en-noslogan.svg.png 2x" data-file-width="400" data-file-height="400" width="16" height="16"></a> <a href="https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Special:Search/Cookbook:_Hot_dog" class="extiw" title="wikibooks:Special:Search/Cookbook: Hot dog">Cookbook: Hot dog</a></li><li>&nbsp;<a href="/wiki/File:Commons-logo.svg" class="image"><img alt="" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4a/Commons-logo.svg/12px-Commons-logo.svg.png" decoding="async" class="noviewer" srcset="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4a/Commons-logo.svg/18px-Commons-logo.svg.png 1.5x, //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4a/Commons-logo.svg/24px-Commons-logo.svg.png 2x" data-file-width="1024" data-file-height="1376" width="12" height="16"></a> <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Hot_dogs" class="extiw" title="commons:Category:Hot dogs">Media: Hot dog</a></li></ul></div></td></tr></tbody></table>
+    <p>A <b>hot dog</b><sup id="cite_ref-latimes1_1-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-latimes1-1">[1]</a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-zwilling_2-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-zwilling-2">[2]</a></sup> (less commonly spelled <b>hotdog</b><sup id="cite_ref-3" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-3">[3]</a></sup>) is a dish consisting of a <a href="/wiki/Grilled" class="mw-redirect" title="Grilled">grilled</a> or <a href="/wiki/Steamed" class="mw-redirect" title="Steamed">steamed</a> <a href="/wiki/Sausage" title="Sausage">sausage</a> served in the slit of a partially sliced <a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_bun" title="Hot dog bun">bun</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-binghamton_4-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-binghamton-4">[4]</a></sup>  The term <i>hot dog</i> can also refer to the sausage itself. The sausage used is a <b>wiener</b> (<a href="/wiki/Vienna_sausage" title="Vienna sausage">Vienna sausage</a>) or a <b>frankfurter</b> (<a href="/wiki/Frankfurter_W%C3%BCrstchen" title="Frankfurter Würstchen">Frankfurter Würstchen</a>, also just called <b>frank</b>). The names of these sausages also commonly refer to their assembled dish.<sup id="cite_ref-lavin_5-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-lavin-5">[5]</a></sup> Hot dog preparation and condiments vary worldwide. Typical condiments include mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise, relish, and cheese sauce,<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="This claim needs references to reliable sources. (May 2021)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> and common garnishes include onions, sauerkraut, jalapeños, chili, grated cheese, coleslaw, bacon, and olives.<sup class="noprint Inline-Template Template-Fact" style="white-space:nowrap;">[<i><a href="/wiki/Wikipedia:Citation_needed" title="Wikipedia:Citation needed"><span title="This claim needs references to reliable sources. (May 2021)">citation needed</span></a></i>]</sup> <a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_variations" title="Hot dog variations">Hot dog variants</a> include the <a href="/wiki/Corn_dog" title="Corn dog">corn dog</a> and <a href="/wiki/Pigs_in_a_blanket" title="Pigs in a blanket">pigs in a blanket</a>. The hot dog's cultural traditions include the <a href="/wiki/Nathan%27s_Hot_Dog_Eating_Contest" title="Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest">Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest</a> and the <a href="/wiki/Wienermobile" title="Wienermobile">Oscar Mayer Wienermobile</a>.
+    </p><p>These types of sausages were culturally imported from Germany and became popular in the United States. It became a <a href="/wiki/Working-class" class="mw-redirect" title="Working-class">working-class</a> <a href="/wiki/Street_food" title="Street food">street food</a> in the U.S., sold at <a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_stand" title="Hot dog stand">stands</a> and <a href="/wiki/Hot_dog_cart" title="Hot dog cart">carts</a>. The hot dog became closely associated with <a href="/wiki/Baseball" title="Baseball">baseball</a> and <a href="/wiki/American_culture" class="mw-redirect" title="American culture">American culture</a>. Although particularly connected with <a href="/wiki/Cuisine_of_New_York_City" title="Cuisine of New York City">New York City and its cuisine</a>, the hot dog eventually became ubiquitous throughout the US during the 20th century. Its preparation varies regionally in the country, emerging as an important part of other regional cuisines, including <a href="/wiki/Chicago_cuisine" class="mw-redirect" title="Chicago cuisine">Chicago street cuisine</a>.<sup id="cite_ref-hauck_6-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-hauck-6">[6]</a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-mercuri_7-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-mercuri-7">[7]</a></sup><sup id="cite_ref-kraig_8-0" class="reference"><a href="#cite_note-kraig-8">[8]</a></sup>
+    </p>
+</div></div>
+</body>
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b8144500
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+http://www.figlet.org/fonts/graffiti.flf
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..2f754ddb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for
+A friend asks only for your time not your money
+If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..67a35314
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+0
+4
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..5da99cbd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+"... the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but
+the person who can question the answers."
+        ― Theodore Schick Jr., in The_Skeptical_Inquirer, March/April, 1997
+%
+"A little fire, Scarecrow?"
+%
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..eb25b7cc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+:)	happy
+:D	happy
+?	confused, mystery
\ No newline at end of file

From a89e235f4a06dd540c30b42e645d35b9062a1811 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 22:06:19 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 58/79] Add AdminManagementService unit test

---
 .../admin/AdminManagementService.java         |   3 +
 .../admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java     | 140 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 143 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
index 27c48510..5d5200ff 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
@@ -25,6 +25,7 @@ public class AdminManagementService
     @OnMessage( "!setadmin @editedAdminNick @password" )
     public String setAdmin( User user, Nick editedAdminNick, String password )
     {
+        // TODO: The way this is written, one admin can change another admin password
         String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( user ) );
         if ( groupDB.noAdmins() || groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
@@ -40,6 +41,8 @@ public String setAdmin( User user, Nick editedAdminNick, String password )
     @OnMessage( "!remadmin @editedAdminNick" )
     public String removeAdmin( User user, Nick editedAdminNick )
     {
+        // One admin can remove other admins, which is needed if they ever leaves
+        // However, there is nothing that can be done if the only admin leaves
         String username = sessionService.getSession( Nick.getNick( user ) );
         if ( groupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
         {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..5111f0b2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,140 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.never;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class AdminManagementServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    AdminManagementService adminManagementService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    PasswordDB passwordDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testBootstrapAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.noAdmins() ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "alice", "password" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.setAdmin( user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                     "password" ) ).isEqualTo( "Added/modified admin alice" );
+
+        verify( passwordDB ).setUserPassword( "alice", "password" );
+        verify( groupDB ).addAdmin( "alice" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testChangeAdminPassword()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.noAdmins() ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.setAdmin( user, Nick.valueOf( "bob" ),
+                                                     "password" ) ).isEqualTo( "Added/modified admin bob" );
+
+        verify( passwordDB ).setUserPassword( "bob", "password" );
+        verify( groupDB, never() ).addAdmin( "bob" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminCannotAddSelfIfThereAreAdmins()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.noAdmins() ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.setAdmin( user, Nick.valueOf( "bob" ), "password" ) ).isNull();
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( passwordDB );
+        verify( groupDB, never() ).addAdmin( "bob" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemoveAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.remAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.removeAdmin( user,
+                                                        Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Removed admin bob" );
+
+        verify( passwordDB ).removeUserPassword( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).remAdmin( "bob" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemoveNonAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.remAdmin( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.removeAdmin( user,
+                                                        Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Removed admin alice" );
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( passwordDB );
+        verify( groupDB ).remAdmin( "alice" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminCannotRemoveAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( adminManagementService.removeAdmin( user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ).isNull();
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( passwordDB );
+        verify( groupDB, never() ).remAdmin( "alice" );
+    }
+}

From 2e995b1cd713072bf779f1b5c9a55f47692c79e7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 22:16:32 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 59/79] Add AdminPingService unit tests

---
 .../services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java  | 54 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 54 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..f5936867
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class AdminPingServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    AdminPingService adminPingService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoSessionPing()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        adminPingService.onAdminPing( user );
+
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "You do not have an active admin session" );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testSessionPing()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        adminPingService.onAdminPing( user );
+
+        verify( user ).sendMessage( "You do not have an active admin session" );
+    }
+
+}

From f9a3f4af42142f875f1adc6576c94b47e6973665 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 22:40:10 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 60/79] Add unit tests for AuthService

---
 .../services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java       | 83 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 83 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d81e82b2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,83 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.PasswordDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class AuthServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    AuthService authService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    PasswordDB passwordDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotLoginAsANonAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "alice", "password" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( authService.login( user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                       "password" ) ).isEqualTo( "Authentication failed" );
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( sessionService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotLoginWrongPassword()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "alice", "password" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( authService.login( user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                       "password" ) ).isEqualTo( "Authentication failed" );
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( sessionService );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLoginCorrectPassword()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "alice", "password" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+
+        assertThat( authService.login( user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                       "password" ) ).isEqualTo( "Authentication successful. Session active for 5 minutes." );
+
+        verify( sessionService ).addSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ), "alice", Duration.ofMinutes( 5 ) );
+    }
+
+}

From 3731432bf3b4f7abcc1c26daefaebe5b88d07619 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 22:48:29 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 61/79] Add GetLogService unit tests

---
 .../services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java     | 92 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 92 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..33e889f8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class GetLogServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    GetLogService getLogService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotGetLogAsNonAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( null ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( getLogService.showLog( user ) ).isNull();
+        verifyNoInteractions( logDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetLogAsAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( logDB.getLog() ).thenReturn( "The log" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+
+        assertThat( getLogService.showLog( user ) ).isEqualTo( "Getting log...\nThe log" );
+        verify( logDB ).getLog();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( logDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testCannotDeleteLogAsNonAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( null ) ).thenReturn( false );
+
+        assertThat( getLogService.deleteLog( user ) ).isNull();
+        verifyNoInteractions( logDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDeleteLogAsAdmin()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+
+        assertThat( getLogService.deleteLog( user ) ).isEqualTo( "Log deleted." );
+        verify( logDB ).deleteLog();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( logDB );
+    }
+
+}

From e3a5544f6a1858dff8d8e367b20997698b2a460e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 22:54:06 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 62/79] Add unit tests for NickChangeService

---
 .../services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java | 60 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 60 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..08b16fd9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,60 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class NickChangeServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    NickChangeService nickChangeService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminCannotChangeName()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( nickChangeService.changeNick( client, user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ).isNull();
+
+        verifyNoInteractions( client );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanChangeNick()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( nickChangeService.changeNick( client, user, Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Nick changed" );
+
+        verify( client ).setNick( "alice" );
+    }
+
+}

From 44c0f5fe9e6a8eac712997a0d786b0e7029fc222 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 23:09:23 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 63/79] Add unit tests for OpsService

---
 .../services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java        | 171 ++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 171 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..33db0457
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,171 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.services.admin;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.GroupDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.SessionService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class OpsServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    OpsService opsService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    SessionService sessionService;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminCannotAddOps()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( null ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        assertThat( opsService.autoOpNicks( user, List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( null );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanAddOps()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.addOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( opsService.autoOpNicks( user,
+                                            List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Added alice to operator group\n" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).addOp( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanAddOpsAlreadyOp()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.addOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        assertThat( opsService.autoOpNicks( user,
+                                            List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "alice was/were already in the operator group\n" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).addOp( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanAddOpsMulti()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.addOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( groupDB.addOp( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( opsService.autoOpNicks( user, List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                           Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Added bob to operator group\nalice was/were already in the operator group\n" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).addOp( "alice" );
+        verify( groupDB ).addOp( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminCannotRemoveOps()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( null ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        assertThat( opsService.removeAutoOpNicks( user, List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( null );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanRemoveOps()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.remOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( opsService.removeAutoOpNicks( user,
+                                                  List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Removed alice from operator group\n" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).remOp( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanRemoveOpsOpDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.remOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        assertThat( opsService.removeAutoOpNicks( user,
+                                                  List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "alice was/were not in the operator group" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).remOp( "alice" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminCanRemoveOpsMulti()
+    {
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+
+        when( sessionService.getSession( Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( "bob" );
+        when( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        when( groupDB.remOp( "alice" ) ).thenReturn( false );
+        when( groupDB.remOp( "bob" ) ).thenReturn( true );
+        assertThat( opsService.removeAutoOpNicks( user,
+                                                  List.of( Nick.valueOf( "alice" ),
+                                                           Nick.valueOf( "bob" ) ) ) ).isEqualTo( "Removed bob from operator group\nalice was/were not in the operator group" );
+
+        verify( groupDB ).isAdmin( "bob" );
+        verify( groupDB ).remOp( "alice" );
+        verify( groupDB ).remOp( "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( groupDB );
+    }
+
+}

From 9d18fd22cb5e1c984dd35224987be1b1e25fa697 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 23:17:20 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 64/79] Add BaseNick unit tests

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java   | 32 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 32 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..cac6bb06
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.util.HashSet;
+import java.util.Set;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+
+public class BaseNickTest
+{
+
+    @Test
+    public void baseNickTest()
+    {
+        String baseNick = "salman";
+
+        Set<String> nicks = new HashSet<>();
+        nicks.add( "salman" );
+        nicks.add( "salman|wfh" );
+        nicks.add( "salman_afk" );
+        nicks.add( "xsalman" );
+        nicks.add( "salman_server_room" );
+        nicks.add( "salman|server_room" );
+
+        for ( String nick : nicks )
+        {
+            assertThat( Nick.valueOf( nick ).getBaseNick() ).isEqualTo( baseNick );
+        }
+    }
+}

From eb974fedcf14e44c1bc69425ab971924e7cf3c23 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 23:30:29 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 65/79] Add unit tests for MangleNicks

---
 .../vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java         | 87 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 87 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a7b6f20b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,87 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.BeforeEach;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ServerMessage;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+public class MangleNicksTest
+{
+    Channel channel;
+
+    ChannelEvent channelEvent;
+
+    ActorEvent<User> actorEvent;
+
+    @BeforeEach
+    @SuppressWarnings( "unchecked" )
+    public void setup()
+    {
+        channel = mock( Channel.class );
+        User salman = mock( User.class );
+        User sasiddiq = mock( User.class );
+
+        when( salman.getNick() ).thenReturn( "salman" );
+        when( sasiddiq.getNick() ).thenReturn( "sasiddiq" );
+
+        channelEvent = mock( ChannelEvent.class );
+        actorEvent = mock( ActorEvent.class );
+        when( channelEvent.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
+        when( actorEvent.getActor() ).thenReturn( salman );
+        when( channel.getUsers() ).thenReturn( List.of( salman, sasiddiq ) );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void noNicks()
+    {
+        String messageText = "i am the karma police";
+        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( channelEvent, messageText );
+        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( actorEvent, messageText );
+
+        assertThat( returnText1 ).isEqualTo( messageText );
+        assertThat( returnText2 ).isEqualTo( messageText );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void oneNick()
+    {
+        String messageText = "salman is a man of many bots";
+        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( channelEvent, messageText );
+        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( actorEvent, messageText );
+        String expectedReturn = "namlas is a man of many bots";
+
+        assertThat( returnText1 ).isEqualTo( expectedReturn );
+        assertThat( returnText2 ).isEqualTo( expectedReturn );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void multipleNicks()
+    {
+        Client client = mock( Client.class );
+        ServerMessage sourceMessage = mock( ServerMessage.class );
+
+        when( channel.getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+        when( actorEvent.getActor().getClient() ).thenReturn( client );
+
+        ChannelMessageEvent channelMessageEvent = new ChannelMessageEvent( client, sourceMessage, actorEvent.getActor(),
+                                                                           channel, "salman is actually sasiddiq" );
+        String messageText = "salman is actually sasiddiq";
+        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( channelEvent, messageText );
+        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( (ActorEvent<User>) channelMessageEvent, messageText );
+        String expectedReturn = "namlas is actually qiddisas";
+
+        assertThat( returnText1 ).isEqualTo( expectedReturn );
+        assertThat( returnText2 ).isEqualTo( expectedReturn );
+    }
+}

From 9042571e04a1d936ff13fdf5984219da945b300f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2021 23:46:01 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 66/79] Add LimitService unit tests

---
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java        | 29 +++++-----
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java        | 58 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 71 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
index 6dd2b690..ded19bd2 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.Dependent;
+import javax.inject.Inject;
 import javax.naming.LimitExceededException;
 import java.time.Duration;
 import java.util.Map;
@@ -19,6 +20,9 @@ public class LimitServiceImpl
 
     private Duration period = Duration.ofSeconds( 300 );
 
+    @Inject
+    TimeService timeService;
+
     @Override
     public void setLimit( int maxUsesPerPeriod, Duration period )
     {
@@ -36,22 +40,15 @@ public void addUse( String noun )
         }
 
         userToUsageCountMap.merge( noun, 1, Integer::sum );
-        TimerTask removeUsage = new TimerTask()
-        {
-            @Override
-            public void run()
-            {
-                userToUsageCountMap.computeIfPresent( noun, ( key, count ) -> {
-                    if ( count > 1 )
-                    {
-                        return count - 1;
-                    }
-                    return null;
-                } );
-            }
-        };
-        Timer timer = new Timer();
-        timer.schedule( removeUsage, period.toMillis() );
+        timeService.onTimeout( period, () -> {
+            userToUsageCountMap.computeIfPresent( noun, ( key, count ) -> {
+                if ( count > 1 )
+                {
+                    return count - 1;
+                }
+                return null;
+            } );
+        } );
     }
 
     @Override
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a456a196
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,58 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
+
+import java.time.Duration;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.mockito.ArgumentCaptor;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThatCode;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.any;
+import static org.mockito.ArgumentMatchers.eq;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+public class LimitServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Test
+    public void testLimit()
+    {
+        LimitServiceImpl limitService = new LimitServiceImpl();
+        TimeService timeService = mock( TimeService.class );
+        User user = mock( User.class );
+        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "jucook" );
+        limitService.timeService = timeService;
+        limitService.setLimit( 10, Duration.ofMinutes( 5 ) );
+
+        for ( int i = 0; i < 10; i++ )
+        {
+            assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( user ) ).isFalse();
+            assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( Nick.valueOf( "jucook" ) ) ).isFalse();
+            assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( "jucook" ) ).isFalse();
+            assertThatCode( () -> limitService.addUse( "jucook" ) ).doesNotThrowAnyException();
+        }
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( user ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( Nick.valueOf( "jucook" ) ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( "jucook" ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThatCode( () -> limitService.addUse( "jucook" ) ).hasMessage( "jucook has the maximum uses" );
+
+        ArgumentCaptor<Runnable> argumentCaptor = ArgumentCaptor.forClass( Runnable.class );
+        verify( timeService, times( 10 ) ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofMinutes( 5 ) ), argumentCaptor.capture() );
+
+        argumentCaptor.getValue().run();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( user ) ).isFalse();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( Nick.valueOf( "jucook" ) ) ).isFalse();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( "jucook" ) ).isFalse();
+        assertThatCode( () -> limitService.addUse( "jucook" ) ).doesNotThrowAnyException();
+        verify( timeService, times( 11 ) ).onTimeout( eq( Duration.ofMinutes( 5 ) ), any() );
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( user ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( Nick.valueOf( "jucook" ) ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThat( limitService.isAtLimit( "jucook" ) ).isTrue();
+        assertThatCode( () -> limitService.addUse( "jucook" ) ).hasMessage( "jucook has the maximum uses" );
+    }
+}

From 4e405985a598870ce307959cb74e38319cf48951 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 01:23:54 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 67/79] Add LogDB unit tests

---
 .../database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java        | 26 +++++++
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java  | 73 +++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 99 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..e5777c77
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.function.Function;
+import java.util.function.Supplier;
+
+import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+public class AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RedisClient redisClient;
+
+    <T> Response mockResponse( Function<Response, T> method, T result )
+    {
+        Response out = mock( Response.class );
+        when( method.apply( out ) ).thenReturn( result );
+        return out;
+    }
+
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..6dcb148b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class LogDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    LogDB logDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDeleteLog()
+    {
+        logDB.deleteLog();
+        verify( redisClient ).del( List.of( LogDB.logKey ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetLog()
+    {
+        Response getResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, "A log\nWith several\nMessages" );
+        when( redisClient.get( LogDB.logKey ) ).thenReturn( getResponse );
+
+        assertThat( logDB.getLog() ).isEqualTo( "A log\nWith several\nMessages" );
+        verify( redisClient ).get( LogDB.logKey );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddItem()
+    {
+        Response strLenResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.strlen( LogDB.logKey ) ).thenReturn( strLenResponse );
+
+        logDB.addItem( "chat message" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).strlen( LogDB.logKey );
+        verify( redisClient ).append( LogDB.logKey, "chat message" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addItemToFullLog()
+    {
+        String oldText = "a".repeat( 100001 );
+
+        Response strLenResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 100001L );
+        Response getResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, oldText );
+        when( redisClient.strlen( LogDB.logKey ) ).thenReturn( strLenResponse );
+        when( redisClient.get( LogDB.logKey ) ).thenReturn( getResponse );
+
+        logDB.addItem( "bbbbb" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).strlen( LogDB.logKey );
+        verify( redisClient ).get( LogDB.logKey );
+        verify( redisClient ).set( List.of( LogDB.logKey, "a".repeat( 100000 - 5 ) ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).append( LogDB.logKey, "bbbbb" );
+    }
+}

From 3e4584d17542d7c7ed0bbdf218736550b3d4b216 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 01:37:57 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 68/79] Add unit tests for UserlistDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java      | 69 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 69 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..d600f987
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,69 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class UserlistDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    UserlistDB userlistDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetUsersInList()
+    {
+        Response memberResponse = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                                Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                           mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                           mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+
+        when( redisClient.smembers( "userlist-test" ) ).thenReturn( memberResponse );
+        assertThat( userlistDB.getUsersIn( "test" ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "alice", "bob", "charlie" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).smembers( "userlist-test" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddUsersToList()
+    {
+        userlistDB.addUsersTo( "test", List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "userlist-test", "alice", "bob", "charlie" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemoveUsersFromList()
+    {
+        userlistDB.removeUsersFrom( "test", List.of( "alice", "bob", "charlie" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).srem( List.of( "userlist-test", "alice", "bob", "charlie" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetLists()
+    {
+        Response keysResponse = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                              Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "userlist-alice" ),
+                                                         mockResponse( Response::toString, "userlist-bob" ),
+                                                         mockResponse( Response::toString, "userlist-charlie" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.keys( "userlist-*" ) ).thenReturn( keysResponse );
+
+        assertThat( userlistDB.getLists() ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "alice", "bob", "charlie" );
+        verify( redisClient ).keys( "userlist-*" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From bf1b4aee173be7eab1212b7ccabadadc83a31069 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 01:47:06 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 69/79] Add unit tests for ExcuseDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java        | 52 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 52 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..7d66a704
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ExcuseDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ExcuseDB excuseDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddExcuse()
+    {
+        excuseDB.addExcuse( "this is an excuse" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "excuses", "this is an excuse" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomExcuseNoExcuses()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "excuses" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( excuseDB.getRandExcuse() ).isNull();
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "excuses" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomExcuse()
+    {
+        Response randomExcuse = mockResponse( Response::toString, "this is an excuse" );
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "excuses" ) ) ).thenReturn( randomExcuse );
+        assertThat( excuseDB.getRandExcuse() ).isEqualTo( "this is an excuse" );
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "excuses" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From 80901f286453abb95fdabd0e77220289c81b6bf2 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 01:55:14 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 70/79] Add unit tests for LastSeenDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java      | 59 +++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 59 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..26721bc9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.TimeService;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class LastSeenDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    LastSeenDB lastSeenDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    TimeService timeService;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetLastSeenTimeDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.hget( "last-seen", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "last-seen", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetLastSeenTime()
+    {
+        Response hgetResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1234L );
+        when( redisClient.hget( "last-seen", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hgetResponse );
+        assertThat( lastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 1234L );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "last-seen", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testUpdateLastSeenTime()
+    {
+        when( timeService.getCurrentTimeMills() ).thenReturn( 1234L );
+        lastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime( "bob" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "last-seen", "bob", "1234" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From 540ccb77a41507950e12ef569826feb5fed9e7cc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 10:49:49 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 71/79] Add unit tests for GroupDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java         | 191 ++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 191 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..b37d2e7f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,191 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class GroupDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+    @Inject
+    GroupDB groupDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoAdminsIsTrueIfNoAdmins()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "groups-admins" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+
+        assertThat( groupDB.noAdmins() ).isTrue();
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "groups-admins" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoAdminsIsFalseIfAdmins()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "groups-admins" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+
+        assertThat( groupDB.noAdmins() ).isFalse();
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "groups-admins" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNullIsNotAdmin()
+    {
+        assertThat( groupDB.isAdmin( null ) ).isFalse();
+        verifyNoInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonAdminIsNotAdmin()
+    {
+        Response sisMemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, false );
+        when( redisClient.sismember( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( sisMemberResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sismember( "groups-admins", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAdminIsAdmin()
+    {
+        Response sisMemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, true );
+        when( redisClient.sismember( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( sisMemberResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.isAdmin( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sismember( "groups-admins", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNullIsNotOp()
+    {
+        assertThat( groupDB.isOp( null ) ).isFalse();
+        verifyNoInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNonOpIsNotOp()
+    {
+        Response sisMemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, false );
+        when( redisClient.sismember( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( sisMemberResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.isOp( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sismember( "groups-ops", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testOpIsOp()
+    {
+        Response sisMemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, true );
+        when( redisClient.sismember( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( sisMemberResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.isOp( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sismember( "groups-ops", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addAdminThatAlreadyExist()
+    {
+        Response saddResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.sadd( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( saddResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.addAdmin( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addNewAdmin()
+    {
+        Response saddResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.sadd( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( saddResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.addAdmin( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addOpThatAlreadyExist()
+    {
+        Response saddResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.sadd( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( saddResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.addOp( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void addNewOp()
+    {
+        Response saddResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.sadd( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( saddResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.addOp( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void removeAdminThatDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        Response sremResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.srem( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( sremResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.remAdmin( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srem( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void removeAdmin()
+    {
+        Response sremResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.srem( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( sremResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.remAdmin( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srem( List.of( "groups-admins", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void removeOpThatDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        Response sremResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.srem( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( sremResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.remOp( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srem( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void removeOp()
+    {
+        Response sremResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.srem( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( sremResponse );
+        assertThat( groupDB.remOp( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srem( List.of( "groups-ops", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From 01a9f76ae801caae0355721062d995a7509bab25 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 11:09:11 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 72/79] Add unit tests for QuoteFactDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java     | 180 ++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 180 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a52f9aa5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,180 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class QuoteFactDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    QuoteFactDB quoteFactDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddQuote()
+    {
+        quoteFactDB.addQuote( "bob", "this is a quote" );
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob", "this is a quote" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddFact()
+    {
+        quoteFactDB.addFact( "bob", "this is a fact" );
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "noun-facts-bob", "this is a fact" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetQuotes()
+    {
+        Response smembersResponse = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                                  Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "quote 1" ),
+                                                             mockResponse( Response::toString, "quote 2" ),
+                                                             mockResponse( Response::toString, "a long quote 3" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.smembers( "noun-quotes-bob" ) ).thenReturn( smembersResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getQuotes( "bob" ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "quote 1", "quote 2",
+                                                                                "a long quote 3" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).smembers( "noun-quotes-bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetFacts()
+    {
+        Response smembersResponse = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                                  Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "fact 1" ),
+                                                             mockResponse( Response::toString, "fact 2" ),
+                                                             mockResponse( Response::toString, "a long fact 3" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.smembers( "noun-facts-bob" ) ).thenReturn( smembersResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getFacts( "bob" ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "fact 1", "fact 2", "a long fact 3" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).smembers( "noun-facts-bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testQuotesLength()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 5L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "noun-quotes-bob" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( 5L );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "noun-quotes-bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testFactsLength()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 5L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "noun-facts-bob" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getFactsLength( "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( 5L );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "noun-facts-bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuoteNoQuotes()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuote()
+    {
+        Response srandmemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote" );
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuote( "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "a random quote" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFactNoFacts()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).isNull();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFact()
+    {
+        Response srandmemberResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact" );
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomFact( "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "a random fact" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomQuotes()
+    {
+        Response srandmemberResponse1 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote 1" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse2 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote 2" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse3 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote 3" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse4 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote 4" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse5 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random quote 5" );
+
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse1 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse2 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse3 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse4 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse5 );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomQuotes( "bob" ) ).containsExactly( "a random quote 1", "a random quote 2",
+                                                                            "a random quote 3", "a random quote 4",
+                                                                            "a random quote 5" );
+
+        verify( redisClient, times( 5 ) ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-quotes-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRandomFacts()
+    {
+        Response srandmemberResponse1 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact 1" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse2 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact 2" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse3 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact 3" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse4 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact 4" );
+        Response srandmemberResponse5 = mockResponse( Response::toString, "a random fact 5" );
+
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse1 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse2 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse3 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse4 ).thenReturn( srandmemberResponse5 );
+
+        assertThat( quoteFactDB.getRandomFacts( "bob" ) ).containsExactly( "a random fact 1", "a random fact 2",
+                                                                           "a random fact 3", "a random fact 4",
+                                                                           "a random fact 5" );
+
+        verify( redisClient, times( 5 ) ).srandmember( List.of( "noun-facts-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From f3d807faae345439bb10bb1f3dcbdc8c91551d35 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 11:49:02 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 73/79] Add unit tests for PasswordDB

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java |   9 +-
 .../vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java      | 192 ++++++++++++++++++
 2 files changed, 200 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
index 68fd0eae..d1beff51 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
 
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.HMAC;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import io.quarkus.redis.client.RedisClient;
 import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
 
@@ -25,6 +26,9 @@ public class PasswordDB
     @Inject
     RedisClient redisClient;
 
+    @Inject
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
     // Note, there is some overlap in terms between the crypto term "Secure Hash" and the Redis structure "Hash". Redis
     // hashes are maps, though called hashes because of a common method of implementing them via a hash function. Except
     // for keyOfPassHash and keyOfPassSaltsHash, every use of "hash" in this file refers to the cryptography term.
@@ -34,7 +38,9 @@ public class PasswordDB
      */
     private String generateSalt()
     {
-        return UUID.randomUUID().toString();
+        byte[] randomBytes = new byte[16];
+        randomProvider.getRandom().nextBytes( randomBytes );
+        return UUID.nameUUIDFromBytes( randomBytes ).toString();
     }
 
     private String getSalt( String username )
@@ -110,6 +116,7 @@ public boolean setUserPassword( String username, String password )
             }
             else
             {
+                // So, password cannot be changed once created?
                 newUser = false;
             }
         }
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..c06ee159
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,192 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.Random;
+import java.util.UUID;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.HMAC;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.mockito.InjectMock;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class PasswordDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    PasswordDB passwordDB;
+
+    @InjectMock
+    RandomProvider randomProvider;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testValidPassword()
+    {
+        String salt = "my-salt";
+        String passwordHash = HMAC.generateHMAC( salt, "password" );
+        Response hgetHashResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, passwordHash );
+        Response hgetSaltResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, salt );
+        when( redisClient.hget( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hgetHashResponse );
+        when( redisClient.hget( "password-salts", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hgetSaltResponse );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "password-salts", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testInvalidPassword()
+    {
+        String salt = "my-salt";
+        String passwordHash = HMAC.generateHMAC( salt, "password" );
+        Response hgetHashResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, passwordHash );
+        Response hgetSaltResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, salt );
+        when( redisClient.hget( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hgetHashResponse );
+        when( redisClient.hget( "password-salts", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hgetSaltResponse );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "bob", "incorrect-password" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "password-salts", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testNoPassword()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.hget( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.isValidPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).hget( "password", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testDeletePassword()
+    {
+        passwordDB.removeUserPassword( "bob" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).multi();
+        verify( redisClient ).hdel( List.of( "password", "bob" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hdel( List.of( "password-salts", "bob" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).exec();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testAddNewUser()
+    {
+        Random usedRandom = new Random( 0 );
+        byte[] expectedSaltBytes = new byte[16];
+        usedRandom.nextBytes( expectedSaltBytes );
+        String expectedSalt = UUID.nameUUIDFromBytes( expectedSaltBytes ).toString();
+        String passwordHash = HMAC.generateHMAC( expectedSalt, "password" );
+
+        Response hexistsResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, false );
+        // Result not used; checked for null
+        Response execResponse = mock( Response.class );
+        when( redisClient.hexists( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse );
+        when( redisClient.exec() ).thenReturn( execResponse );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandom() ).thenAnswer( invocation -> new Random( 0 ) );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).watch( List.of( "password", "password-salts" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hexists( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).multi();
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password", "bob", passwordHash ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password-salts", "bob", expectedSalt ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).exec();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModifyExistingUser()
+    {
+        Response hexistsResponse = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, true );
+        // Result not used; checked for null
+        Response execResponse = mock( Response.class );
+        when( redisClient.hexists( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse );
+        when( redisClient.exec() ).thenReturn( execResponse );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient ).watch( List.of( "password", "password-salts" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hexists( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).multi();
+        verify( redisClient ).exec();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testConcurrentAddNewUserAfterTheUserWasAdded()
+    {
+        Random usedRandom = new Random( 0 );
+        byte[] expectedSaltBytes = new byte[16];
+        usedRandom.nextBytes( expectedSaltBytes );
+        String expectedSalt = UUID.nameUUIDFromBytes( expectedSaltBytes ).toString();
+        String passwordHash = HMAC.generateHMAC( expectedSalt, "password" );
+
+        Response hexistsResponse1 = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, false );
+        Response hexistsResponse2 = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, true );
+        // Result not used; checked for null
+        Response execResponse = mock( Response.class );
+        when( redisClient.hexists( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse1 ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse2 );
+        when( redisClient.exec() ).thenReturn( null ).thenReturn( execResponse );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandom() ).thenAnswer( invocation -> new Random( 0 ) );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isFalse();
+
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).watch( List.of( "password", "password-salts" ) );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).hexists( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).multi();
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password", "bob", passwordHash ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password-salts", "bob", expectedSalt ) );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).exec();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testConcurrentAddNewUserAfterTheUserWasRemoved()
+    {
+        Random usedRandom = new Random( 0 );
+        byte[] expectedSaltBytes = new byte[16];
+        usedRandom.nextBytes( expectedSaltBytes );
+        String expectedSalt = UUID.nameUUIDFromBytes( expectedSaltBytes ).toString();
+        String passwordHash = HMAC.generateHMAC( expectedSalt, "password" );
+
+        Response hexistsResponse1 = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, true );
+        Response hexistsResponse2 = mockResponse( Response::toBoolean, false );
+        // Result not used; checked for null
+        Response execResponse = mock( Response.class );
+        when( redisClient.hexists( "password", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse1 ).thenReturn( hexistsResponse2 );
+        when( redisClient.exec() ).thenReturn( null ).thenReturn( execResponse );
+        when( randomProvider.getRandom() ).thenAnswer( invocation -> new Random( 0 ) );
+
+        assertThat( passwordDB.setUserPassword( "bob", "password" ) ).isTrue();
+
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).watch( List.of( "password", "password-salts" ) );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).hexists( "password", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).multi();
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password", "bob", passwordHash ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).hset( List.of( "password-salts", "bob", expectedSalt ) );
+        verify( redisClient, times( 2 ) ).exec();
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From 9824cd95a1ce32bf5bd1d0fafa893c903044b564 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 12:33:00 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 74/79] Add !rankn and !revrankn; add unit tests for KarmaDB

---
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    |   3 +-
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |  28 +++
 .../vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java         | 207 ++++++++++++++++++
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java    |  34 +++
 4 files changed, 271 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
index 4a8e8008..1e9db635 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
@@ -54,7 +54,8 @@ public Optional<Long> getNounKarma( String noun )
      */
     public Optional<Long> getNounRank( String noun )
     {
-        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun ) ).map( Response::toLong );
+        return Optional.ofNullable( redisClient.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet,
+                                                          noun ) ).map( response -> response.toLong() + 1L );
     }
 
     /**
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
index c25ea4c2..a74f80fe 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
@@ -141,6 +141,34 @@ else if ( noun.endsWith( "+-" ) )
         return out.toString();
     }
 
+    @OnMessage( "!rankn @rank" )
+    public String rankn( Integer rank )
+    {
+        String noun = karmaDB.getRankNoun( rank );
+        if ( noun != null )
+        {
+            return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No noun at that rank.";
+        }
+    }
+
+    @OnMessage( "!revrankn @rank" )
+    public String revrankn( Integer rank )
+    {
+        String noun = karmaDB.getRevRankNoun( rank );
+        if ( noun != null )
+        {
+            return getReplyWithRankAndKarma( noun, true );
+        }
+        else
+        {
+            return "No noun at that rank.";
+        }
+    }
+
     @OnMessage( "!rank @nick" )
     public String rank( Nick nick )
     {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..a2337ee7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,207 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class KarmaDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    KarmaDB karmaDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModKarmaPositive()
+    {
+        karmaDB.modNounKarma( "bob", 10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "noun-karma", "10", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModKarmaNegative()
+    {
+        karmaDB.modNounKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "noun-karma", "-10", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetKarmaDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetKarma()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 10L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRankDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.zrevrank( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounRank( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrank( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRank()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrank( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounRank( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 11L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrank( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRevRankDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.zrank( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrank( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRevRank()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        when( redisClient.zrank( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 11L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrank( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRankNounDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream, Stream.empty() );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRankNoun( 10L ) ).isEqualTo( null );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRankNoun()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream, Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRankNoun( 10L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRevRankNounDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream, Stream.empty() );
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRevRankNoun( 10L ) ).isEqualTo( null );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRevRankNoun()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream, Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRevRankNoun( 10L ) ).isEqualTo( "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "9", "10" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRankNouns()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                          Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "10", "13" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRankNouns( 10L, 13L ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "alice", "bob", "charlie" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "10", "13" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetRevRankNouns()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                          Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "10", "13" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getRevRankNouns( 10L, 13L ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "alice", "bob", "charlie" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "10", "13" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemNounNotExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.zrem( List.of( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.remNoun( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrem( List.of( "noun-karma", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemNounExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.zrem( List.of( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( karmaDB.remNoun( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrem( List.of( "noun-karma", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetTotalKarma()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                          Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+        Response aliceKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        Response bobKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        Response charlieKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, -5L );
+
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "0", "-1" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "noun-karma", "alice" ) ).thenReturn( aliceKarma );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( bobKarma );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "noun-karma", "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( charlieKarma );
+
+        assertThat( karmaDB.getTotalKarma() ).isEqualTo( 15L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "noun-karma", "0", "-1" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "noun-karma", "alice" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "noun-karma", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "noun-karma", "charlie" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
index 98192365..b7d3115e 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
@@ -97,6 +97,40 @@ public void testRank()
         assertThat( karmaService.rank( Nick.valueOf( "user1|lunch" ) ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
     }
 
+    @Test
+    public void testRankN()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getRankNoun( 2L ) ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.rankn( 2 ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRankDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getRankNoun( 2L ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( karmaService.rankn( 2 ) ).isEqualTo( "No noun at that rank." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRevRankN()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getRevRankNoun( 2L ) ).thenReturn( "user1" );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounRevRank( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 2L ) );
+        when( karmaDB.getNounKarma( "user1" ) ).thenReturn( Optional.of( 5L ) );
+
+        assertThat( karmaService.revrankn( 2 ) ).isEqualTo( "user1 is ranked at (reverse) #2 with 5 points of karma." );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRevRankDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( karmaDB.getRevRankNoun( 2L ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( karmaService.revrankn( 2 ) ).isEqualTo( "No noun at that rank." );
+    }
+
     @Test
     public void testRevRank()
     {

From a2ec69295515c1694d66914d55518e1cac917a44 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 12:55:07 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 75/79] Add unit tests for ChurchDB

---
 .../vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java        | 203 ++++++++++++++++++
 1 file changed, 203 insertions(+)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java

diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..9afd8f36
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java
@@ -0,0 +1,203 @@
+package com.oldterns.vilebot.database;
+
+import java.util.List;
+import java.util.stream.Stream;
+
+import javax.inject.Inject;
+
+import io.quarkus.test.junit.QuarkusTest;
+import io.vertx.redis.client.Response;
+import org.junit.jupiter.api.Test;
+
+import static org.assertj.core.api.Assertions.assertThat;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
+import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
+
+@QuarkusTest
+public class ChurchDBTest
+    extends AbstractDatabaseTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    ChurchDB churchDB;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModDonorPositive()
+    {
+        churchDB.modDonorKarma( "bob", 10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "church-donor-karma", "10", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModDonorNegative()
+    {
+        churchDB.modDonorKarma( "bob", -10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "church-donor-karma", "-10", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModDonorTitleDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "church-title-bob" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+        churchDB.modDonorTitle( "bob", "bob the king" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "church-title-bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "church-title-bob", "bob the king" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModDonorTitleExist()
+    {
+        Response scardResponse = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.scard( "church-title-bob" ) ).thenReturn( scardResponse );
+        churchDB.modDonorTitle( "bob", "bob the king" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).scard( "church-title-bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).spop( List.of( "church-title-bob" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).sadd( List.of( "church-title-bob", "bob the king" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorTitle()
+    {
+        Response titleResponse = mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob the king" );
+        when( redisClient.srandmember( List.of( "church-title-bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( titleResponse );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorTitle( "bob" ) ).isEqualTo( "bob the king" );
+
+        verify( redisClient ).srandmember( List.of( "church-title-bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModNonDonorPositive()
+    {
+        churchDB.modNonDonorKarma( 10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "church-karma", "10", "church-karma" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testModNonDonorNegative()
+    {
+        churchDB.modNonDonorKarma( -10 );
+        verify( redisClient ).zincrby( "church-karma", "-10", "church-karma" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorKarmaDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorKarma()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorKarma( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 10L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorRankDoesNotExist()
+    {
+        when( redisClient.zrevrank( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( null );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).isEmpty();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrank( "church-donor-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorRank()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrank( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorRank( "bob" ) ).hasValue( 11L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrank( "church-donor-karma", "bob" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetDonorRankNouns()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                          Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+        when( redisClient.zrevrange( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "10", "13" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( churchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 10L, 13L ) ).containsExactlyInAnyOrder( "alice", "bob", "charlie" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrevrange( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "10", "13" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemDonorNotExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 0L );
+        when( redisClient.zrem( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( churchDB.removeDonor( "bob" ) ).isFalse();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrem( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testRemDonorExist()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 1L );
+        when( redisClient.zrem( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        assertThat( churchDB.removeDonor( "bob" ) ).isTrue();
+        verify( redisClient ).zrem( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetTotalDonations()
+    {
+        Response response = mockResponse( Response::stream,
+                                          Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "alice" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "bob" ),
+                                                     mockResponse( Response::toString, "charlie" ) ) );
+        Response aliceKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        Response bobKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+        Response charlieKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 5L );
+
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "0", "-1" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-donor-karma", "alice" ) ).thenReturn( aliceKarma );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" ) ).thenReturn( bobKarma );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-donor-karma", "charlie" ) ).thenReturn( charlieKarma );
+
+        assertThat( churchDB.getTotalDonations() ).isEqualTo( 25L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "church-donor-karma", "0", "-1" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-donor-karma", "alice" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-donor-karma", "bob" );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-donor-karma", "charlie" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+
+    @Test
+    public void testGetTotalNonDonations()
+    {
+        Response response =
+            mockResponse( Response::stream, Stream.of( mockResponse( Response::toString, "church-karma" ) ) );
+        Response churchKarma = mockResponse( Response::toLong, 10L );
+
+        when( redisClient.zrange( List.of( "church-karma", "0", "-1" ) ) ).thenReturn( response );
+        when( redisClient.zscore( "church-karma", "church-karma" ) ).thenReturn( churchKarma );
+
+        assertThat( churchDB.getTotalNonDonations() ).isEqualTo( 10L );
+        verify( redisClient ).zrange( List.of( "church-karma", "0", "-1" ) );
+        verify( redisClient ).zscore( "church-karma", "church-karma" );
+        verifyNoMoreInteractions( redisClient );
+    }
+}

From 8d6528c939d2db02fcc3c7a36166c76c9d045ae3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 15:02:57 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 76/79] Add server-control.sh; make Client use nick as username

---
 .../irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java   |   2 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore                    |   2 +
 vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf                | 492 ++++++++++++++++++
 vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh             | 239 +++++++++
 vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh     |  39 ++
 vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh     |  18 +-
 6 files changed, 790 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)
 create mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
 create mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
 create mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
index 940fc5a0..65975586 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/ClientCreatorImpl.java
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ public class ClientCreatorImpl implements ClientCreator {
 
     public Client createClient(String nick) {
         return Client.builder()
-                     .name(nick).nick(nick)
+                     .name(nick).nick(nick).realName(nick).user(nick)
                      .server().host(ircServer).port(ircPort, Client.Builder.Server.SecurityType.INSECURE)
                      .then()
                      .management().stsStorageManager(StsUtil.getDefaultStorageManager())
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
index 84cd134d..57eec4a2 100644
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
@@ -36,5 +36,7 @@ nb-configuration.xml
 *.rej
 
 # Local environment
+/db
+/log
 .env
 .fonts
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf b/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..428d441d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
@@ -0,0 +1,492 @@
+# Redis configuration file example
+
+# Note on units: when memory size is needed, it is possible to specifiy
+# it in the usual form of 1k 5GB 4M and so forth:
+#
+# 1k => 1000 bytes
+# 1kb => 1024 bytes
+# 1m => 1000000 bytes
+# 1mb => 1024*1024 bytes
+# 1g => 1000000000 bytes
+# 1gb => 1024*1024*1024 bytes
+#
+# units are case insensitive so 1GB 1Gb 1gB are all the same.
+
+# By default Redis does not run as a daemon. Use 'yes' if you need it.
+# Note that Redis will write a pid file in /var/run/redis.pid when daemonized.
+daemonize no
+
+# When running daemonized, Redis writes a pid file in /var/run/redis.pid by
+# default. You can specify a custom pid file location here.
+pidfile /var/run/redis/redis.pid
+
+# Accept connections on the specified port, default is 6379.
+# If port 0 is specified Redis will not listen on a TCP socket.
+port 6300
+
+# If you want you can bind a single interface, if the bind option is not
+# specified all the interfaces will listen for incoming connections.
+#
+bind 127.0.0.1
+
+# Specify the path for the unix socket that will be used to listen for
+# incoming connections. There is no default, so Redis will not listen
+# on a unix socket when not specified.
+#
+# unixsocket /tmp/redis.sock
+# unixsocketperm 755
+
+# Close the connection after a client is idle for N seconds (0 to disable)
+timeout 0
+
+# Set server verbosity to 'debug'
+# it can be one of:
+# debug (a lot of information, useful for development/testing)
+# verbose (many rarely useful info, but not a mess like the debug level)
+# notice (moderately verbose, what you want in production probably)
+# warning (only very important / critical messages are logged)
+loglevel notice
+
+# Specify the log file name. Also 'stdout' can be used to force
+# Redis to log on the standard output. Note that if you use standard
+# output for logging but daemonize, logs will be sent to /dev/null
+logfile log/redis.log
+
+# To enable logging to the system logger, just set 'syslog-enabled' to yes,
+# and optionally update the other syslog parameters to suit your needs.
+# syslog-enabled no
+
+# Specify the syslog identity.
+# syslog-ident redis
+
+# Specify the syslog facility.  Must be USER or between LOCAL0-LOCAL7.
+# syslog-facility local0
+
+# Set the number of databases. The default database is DB 0, you can select
+# a different one on a per-connection basis using SELECT <dbid> where
+# dbid is a number between 0 and 'databases'-1
+databases 1
+
+################################ SNAPSHOTTING  #################################
+#
+# Save the DB on disk:
+#
+#   save <seconds> <changes>
+#
+#   Will save the DB if both the given number of seconds and the given
+#   number of write operations against the DB occurred.
+#
+#   In the example below the behaviour will be to save:
+#   after 900 sec (15 min) if at least 1 key changed
+#   after 300 sec (5 min) if at least 10 keys changed
+#   after 60 sec if at least 10000 keys changed
+#
+#   Note: you can disable saving at all commenting all the "save" lines.
+
+save 900 1
+save 300 10
+save 60 10000
+
+# Compress string objects using LZF when dump .rdb databases?
+# For default that's set to 'yes' as it's almost always a win.
+# If you want to save some CPU in the saving child set it to 'no' but
+# the dataset will likely be bigger if you have compressible values or keys.
+rdbcompression yes
+
+# The filename where to dump the DB
+dbfilename vb-dbdump.rdb
+
+# The working directory.
+#
+# The DB will be written inside this directory, with the filename specified
+# above using the 'dbfilename' configuration directive.
+# 
+# Also the Append Only File will be created inside this directory.
+# 
+# Note that you must specify a directory here, not a file name.
+dir db/
+
+################################# REPLICATION #################################
+
+# Master-Slave replication. Use slaveof to make a Redis instance a copy of
+# another Redis server. Note that the configuration is local to the slave
+# so for example it is possible to configure the slave to save the DB with a
+# different interval, or to listen to another port, and so on.
+#
+# slaveof <masterip> <masterport>
+
+# If the master is password protected (using the "requirepass" configuration
+# directive below) it is possible to tell the slave to authenticate before
+# starting the replication synchronization process, otherwise the master will
+# refuse the slave request.
+#
+# masterauth <master-password>
+
+# When a slave lost the connection with the master, or when the replication
+# is still in progress, the slave can act in two different ways:
+#
+# 1) if slave-serve-stale-data is set to 'yes' (the default) the slave will
+#    still reply to client requests, possibly with out of data data, or the
+#    data set may just be empty if this is the first synchronization.
+#
+# 2) if slave-serve-stale data is set to 'no' the slave will reply with
+#    an error "SYNC with master in progress" to all the kind of commands
+#    but to INFO and SLAVEOF.
+#
+slave-serve-stale-data yes
+
+# Slaves send PINGs to server in a predefined interval. It's possible to change
+# this interval with the repl_ping_slave_period option. The default value is 10
+# seconds.
+#
+# repl-ping-slave-period 10
+
+# The following option sets a timeout for both Bulk transfer I/O timeout and
+# master data or ping response timeout. The default value is 60 seconds.
+#
+# It is important to make sure that this value is greater than the value
+# specified for repl-ping-slave-period otherwise a timeout will be detected
+# every time there is low traffic between the master and the slave.
+#
+# repl-timeout 60
+
+################################## SECURITY ###################################
+
+# Require clients to issue AUTH <PASSWORD> before processing any other
+# commands.  This might be useful in environments in which you do not trust
+# others with access to the host running redis-server.
+#
+# This should stay commented out for backward compatibility and because most
+# people do not need auth (e.g. they run their own servers).
+# 
+# Warning: since Redis is pretty fast an outside user can try up to
+# 150k passwords per second against a good box. This means that you should
+# use a very strong password otherwise it will be very easy to break.
+#
+# requirepass foobared
+
+# Command renaming.
+#
+# It is possilbe to change the name of dangerous commands in a shared
+# environment. For instance the CONFIG command may be renamed into something
+# of hard to guess so that it will be still available for internal-use
+# tools but not available for general clients.
+#
+# Example:
+#
+# rename-command CONFIG b840fc02d524045429941cc15f59e41cb7be6c52
+#
+# It is also possilbe to completely kill a command renaming it into
+# an empty string:
+#
+# rename-command CONFIG ""
+
+################################### LIMITS ####################################
+
+# Set the max number of connected clients at the same time. By default there
+# is no limit, and it's up to the number of file descriptors the Redis process
+# is able to open. The special value '0' means no limits.
+# Once the limit is reached Redis will close all the new connections sending
+# an error 'max number of clients reached'.
+#
+# maxclients 128
+
+# Don't use more memory than the specified amount of bytes.
+# When the memory limit is reached Redis will try to remove keys
+# accordingly to the eviction policy selected (see maxmemmory-policy).
+#
+# If Redis can't remove keys according to the policy, or if the policy is
+# set to 'noeviction', Redis will start to reply with errors to commands
+# that would use more memory, like SET, LPUSH, and so on, and will continue
+# to reply to read-only commands like GET.
+#
+# This option is usually useful when using Redis as an LRU cache, or to set
+# an hard memory limit for an instance (using the 'noeviction' policy).
+#
+# WARNING: If you have slaves attached to an instance with maxmemory on,
+# the size of the output buffers needed to feed the slaves are subtracted
+# from the used memory count, so that network problems / resyncs will
+# not trigger a loop where keys are evicted, and in turn the output
+# buffer of slaves is full with DELs of keys evicted triggering the deletion
+# of more keys, and so forth until the database is completely emptied.
+#
+# In short... if you have slaves attached it is suggested that you set a lower
+# limit for maxmemory so that there is some free RAM on the system for slave
+# output buffers (but this is not needed if the policy is 'noeviction').
+#
+# maxmemory <bytes>
+
+# MAXMEMORY POLICY: how Redis will select what to remove when maxmemory
+# is reached? You can select among five behavior:
+# 
+# volatile-lru -> remove the key with an expire set using an LRU algorithm
+# allkeys-lru -> remove any key accordingly to the LRU algorithm
+# volatile-random -> remove a random key with an expire set
+# allkeys->random -> remove a random key, any key
+# volatile-ttl -> remove the key with the nearest expire time (minor TTL)
+# noeviction -> don't expire at all, just return an error on write operations
+# 
+# Note: with all the kind of policies, Redis will return an error on write
+#       operations, when there are not suitable keys for eviction.
+#
+#       At the date of writing this commands are: set setnx setex append
+#       incr decr rpush lpush rpushx lpushx linsert lset rpoplpush sadd
+#       sinter sinterstore sunion sunionstore sdiff sdiffstore zadd zincrby
+#       zunionstore zinterstore hset hsetnx hmset hincrby incrby decrby
+#       getset mset msetnx exec sort
+#
+# The default is:
+#
+# maxmemory-policy volatile-lru
+
+# LRU and minimal TTL algorithms are not precise algorithms but approximated
+# algorithms (in order to save memory), so you can select as well the sample
+# size to check. For instance for default Redis will check three keys and
+# pick the one that was used less recently, you can change the sample size
+# using the following configuration directive.
+#
+# maxmemory-samples 3
+
+############################## APPEND ONLY MODE ###############################
+
+# By default Redis asynchronously dumps the dataset on disk. If you can live
+# with the idea that the latest records will be lost if something like a crash
+# happens this is the preferred way to run Redis. If instead you care a lot
+# about your data and don't want to that a single record can get lost you should
+# enable the append only mode: when this mode is enabled Redis will append
+# every write operation received in the file appendonly.aof. This file will
+# be read on startup in order to rebuild the full dataset in memory.
+#
+# Note that you can have both the async dumps and the append only file if you
+# like (you have to comment the "save" statements above to disable the dumps).
+# Still if append only mode is enabled Redis will load the data from the
+# log file at startup ignoring the dump.rdb file.
+#
+# IMPORTANT: Check the BGREWRITEAOF to check how to rewrite the append
+# log file in background when it gets too big.
+
+appendonly no
+
+# The name of the append only file (default: "appendonly.aof")
+# appendfilename appendonly.aof
+
+# The fsync() call tells the Operating System to actually write data on disk
+# instead to wait for more data in the output buffer. Some OS will really flush 
+# data on disk, some other OS will just try to do it ASAP.
+#
+# Redis supports three different modes:
+#
+# no: don't fsync, just let the OS flush the data when it wants. Faster.
+# always: fsync after every write to the append only log . Slow, Safest.
+# everysec: fsync only if one second passed since the last fsync. Compromise.
+#
+# The default is "everysec" that's usually the right compromise between
+# speed and data safety. It's up to you to understand if you can relax this to
+# "no" that will will let the operating system flush the output buffer when
+# it wants, for better performances (but if you can live with the idea of
+# some data loss consider the default persistence mode that's snapshotting),
+# or on the contrary, use "always" that's very slow but a bit safer than
+# everysec.
+#
+# If unsure, use "everysec".
+
+# appendfsync always
+appendfsync everysec
+# appendfsync no
+
+# When the AOF fsync policy is set to always or everysec, and a background
+# saving process (a background save or AOF log background rewriting) is
+# performing a lot of I/O against the disk, in some Linux configurations
+# Redis may block too long on the fsync() call. Note that there is no fix for
+# this currently, as even performing fsync in a different thread will block
+# our synchronous write(2) call.
+#
+# In order to mitigate this problem it's possible to use the following option
+# that will prevent fsync() from being called in the main process while a
+# BGSAVE or BGREWRITEAOF is in progress.
+#
+# This means that while another child is saving the durability of Redis is
+# the same as "appendfsync none", that in pratical terms means that it is
+# possible to lost up to 30 seconds of log in the worst scenario (with the
+# default Linux settings).
+# 
+# If you have latency problems turn this to "yes". Otherwise leave it as
+# "no" that is the safest pick from the point of view of durability.
+no-appendfsync-on-rewrite no
+
+# Automatic rewrite of the append only file.
+# Redis is able to automatically rewrite the log file implicitly calling
+# BGREWRITEAOF when the AOF log size will growth by the specified percentage.
+# 
+# This is how it works: Redis remembers the size of the AOF file after the
+# latest rewrite (or if no rewrite happened since the restart, the size of
+# the AOF at startup is used).
+#
+# This base size is compared to the current size. If the current size is
+# bigger than the specified percentage, the rewrite is triggered. Also
+# you need to specify a minimal size for the AOF file to be rewritten, this
+# is useful to avoid rewriting the AOF file even if the percentage increase
+# is reached but it is still pretty small.
+#
+# Specify a precentage of zero in order to disable the automatic AOF
+# rewrite feature.
+
+auto-aof-rewrite-percentage 100
+auto-aof-rewrite-min-size 64mb
+
+################################## SLOW LOG ###################################
+
+# The Redis Slow Log is a system to log queries that exceeded a specified
+# execution time. The execution time does not include the I/O operations
+# like talking with the client, sending the reply and so forth,
+# but just the time needed to actually execute the command (this is the only
+# stage of command execution where the thread is blocked and can not serve
+# other requests in the meantime).
+# 
+# You can configure the slow log with two parameters: one tells Redis
+# what is the execution time, in microseconds, to exceed in order for the
+# command to get logged, and the other parameter is the length of the
+# slow log. When a new command is logged the oldest one is removed from the
+# queue of logged commands.
+
+# The following time is expressed in microseconds, so 1000000 is equivalent
+# to one second. Note that a negative number disables the slow log, while
+# a value of zero forces the logging of every command.
+slowlog-log-slower-than 10000
+
+# There is no limit to this length. Just be aware that it will consume memory.
+# You can reclaim memory used by the slow log with SLOWLOG RESET.
+slowlog-max-len 128
+
+################################ VIRTUAL MEMORY ###############################
+
+### WARNING! Virtual Memory is deprecated in Redis 2.4
+### The use of Virtual Memory is strongly discouraged.
+
+# Virtual Memory allows Redis to work with datasets bigger than the actual
+# amount of RAM needed to hold the whole dataset in memory.
+# In order to do so very used keys are taken in memory while the other keys
+# are swapped into a swap file, similarly to what operating systems do
+# with memory pages.
+#
+# To enable VM just set 'vm-enabled' to yes, and set the following three
+# VM parameters accordingly to your needs.
+
+# vm-enabled no
+# vm-enabled yes
+
+# This is the path of the Redis swap file. As you can guess, swap files
+# can't be shared by different Redis instances, so make sure to use a swap
+# file for every redis process you are running. Redis will complain if the
+# swap file is already in use.
+#
+# The best kind of storage for the Redis swap file (that's accessed at random) 
+# is a Solid State Disk (SSD).
+#
+# *** WARNING *** if you are using a shared hosting the default of putting
+# the swap file under /tmp is not secure. Create a dir with access granted
+# only to Redis user and configure Redis to create the swap file there.
+#vm-swap-file /tmp/redis.swap
+
+# vm-max-memory configures the VM to use at max the specified amount of
+# RAM. Everything that deos not fit will be swapped on disk *if* possible, that
+# is, if there is still enough contiguous space in the swap file.
+#
+# With vm-max-memory 0 the system will swap everything it can. Not a good
+# default, just specify the max amount of RAM you can in bytes, but it's
+# better to leave some margin. For instance specify an amount of RAM
+# that's more or less between 60 and 80% of your free RAM.
+#vm-max-memory 0
+
+# Redis swap files is split into pages. An object can be saved using multiple
+# contiguous pages, but pages can't be shared between different objects.
+# So if your page is too big, small objects swapped out on disk will waste
+# a lot of space. If you page is too small, there is less space in the swap
+# file (assuming you configured the same number of total swap file pages).
+#
+# If you use a lot of small objects, use a page size of 64 or 32 bytes.
+# If you use a lot of big objects, use a bigger page size.
+# If unsure, use the default :)
+#vm-page-size 32
+
+# Number of total memory pages in the swap file.
+# Given that the page table (a bitmap of free/used pages) is taken in memory,
+# every 8 pages on disk will consume 1 byte of RAM.
+#
+# The total swap size is vm-page-size * vm-pages
+#
+# With the default of 32-bytes memory pages and 134217728 pages Redis will
+# use a 4 GB swap file, that will use 16 MB of RAM for the page table.
+#
+# It's better to use the smallest acceptable value for your application,
+# but the default is large in order to work in most conditions.
+#vm-pages 134217728
+
+# Max number of VM I/O threads running at the same time.
+# This threads are used to read/write data from/to swap file, since they
+# also encode and decode objects from disk to memory or the reverse, a bigger
+# number of threads can help with big objects even if they can't help with
+# I/O itself as the physical device may not be able to couple with many
+# reads/writes operations at the same time.
+#
+# The special value of 0 turn off threaded I/O and enables the blocking
+# Virtual Memory implementation.
+#vm-max-threads 4
+
+############################### ADVANCED CONFIG ###############################
+
+# Hashes are encoded in a special way (much more memory efficient) when they
+# have at max a given numer of elements, and the biggest element does not
+# exceed a given threshold. You can configure this limits with the following
+# configuration directives.
+#hash-max-zipmap-entries 512
+#hash-max-zipmap-value 64
+
+# Similarly to hashes, small lists are also encoded in a special way in order
+# to save a lot of space. The special representation is only used when
+# you are under the following limits:
+#list-max-ziplist-entries 512
+#list-max-ziplist-value 64
+
+# Sets have a special encoding in just one case: when a set is composed
+# of just strings that happens to be integers in radix 10 in the range
+# of 64 bit signed integers.
+# The following configuration setting sets the limit in the size of the
+# set in order to use this special memory saving encoding.
+#set-max-intset-entries 512
+
+# Similarly to hashes and lists, sorted sets are also specially encoded in
+# order to save a lot of space. This encoding is only used when the length and
+# elements of a sorted set are below the following limits:
+#zset-max-ziplist-entries 128
+#zset-max-ziplist-value 64
+
+# Active rehashing uses 1 millisecond every 100 milliseconds of CPU time in
+# order to help rehashing the main Redis hash table (the one mapping top-level
+# keys to values). The hash table implementation redis uses (see dict.c)
+# performs a lazy rehashing: the more operation you run into an hash table
+# that is rhashing, the more rehashing "steps" are performed, so if the
+# server is idle the rehashing is never complete and some more memory is used
+# by the hash table.
+# 
+# The default is to use this millisecond 10 times every second in order to
+# active rehashing the main dictionaries, freeing memory when possible.
+#
+# If unsure:
+# use "activerehashing no" if you have hard latency requirements and it is
+# not a good thing in your environment that Redis can reply form time to time
+# to queries with 2 milliseconds delay.
+#
+# use "activerehashing yes" if you don't have such hard requirements but
+# want to free memory asap when possible.
+activerehashing yes
+
+################################## INCLUDES ###################################
+
+# Include one or more other config files here.  This is useful if you
+# have a standard template that goes to all redis server but also need
+# to customize a few per-server settings.  Include files can include
+# other files, so use this wisely.
+#
+# include /path/to/local.conf
+# include /path/to/other.conf
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh b/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..670f984d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,239 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+# Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
+#
+# This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
+# of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
+
+set -u
+set -e
+set -f
+
+
+# Accept any existing definitons of these variables, otherwise set to their defaults.
+
+: "${VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH:=cfg/redis.conf}"
+: "${VB_REDIS_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-redis-server-pid-$USER}"
+: "${VB_JAR_PATH:=target/quarkus-app/quarkus-run.jar}"
+: "${VB_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-server-pid-$USER}"
+: "${VB_LOG_PATH:=log}"
+: "${VB_REMOTE_DEBUG:=0}"
+
+
+die() {
+    if [ -n "$*" ]
+    then
+        echo "Error: $@" >&2
+    fi
+    exit 1
+}
+
+msg() {
+    echo "$*" >&2
+}
+
+trap '[ $? -eq 0 ] || [ "$FUNCNAME" = "die" ] || echo "Exiting abnormally with code $? (in $FUNCNAME)"' EXIT
+
+get_redis_port() {
+    sed -r -e 's/^port ([0-9]+)$/\1/;tx;d;:x' "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH"
+}
+
+get_pid() {
+    local pid_file="$1"
+    local pid_pattern='^[0-9]+$'
+    local pid=""
+    if [ -f "$pid_file" ]
+    then
+        pid="$(head -n1 "$pid_file")"
+        [[ "$pid" =~ $pid_pattern ]] || pid=""
+    fi
+    echo "$pid"
+}
+
+get_vb_pid() {
+    get_pid "$VB_PID_PATH"
+}
+
+get_redis_pid() {
+    get_pid "$VB_REDIS_PID_PATH"
+}
+
+
+mode_start() {
+    msg "Starting services"
+    msg ">> Testing prerequisites"
+    local required_files=("$VB_JAR_PATH"
+                          "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH"
+                          ".env")
+
+    for filepath in "${required_files[@]}"
+    do
+        if [ -f "$filepath" ]
+        then
+            msg ">> '$filepath' exists and is a file"
+        else
+            die ">> '$filepath' does not exist or is not a file"
+        fi
+    done
+
+    mkdir -p log
+
+    status_info=$(mode_status | grep -e ' up$' || true)
+
+    if [[ "$status_info" =~ redis ]]
+    then
+        msg ">> Redis server already up"
+    else
+        msg ">> Starting local redis server"
+        nohup ./startProdRedisInstance.sh >> log/redis.log 2>&1 &
+        echo -n "$!" >| "$VB_REDIS_PID_PATH"
+    fi
+
+    if [[ "$status_info" =~ vilebot ]]
+    then
+        msg ">> Vilebot already up"
+    else
+        local extra_opts=""
+        if [ "$VB_REMOTE_DEBUG" = "1" ]
+        then
+            extra_opts="-Xdebug -Xrunjdwp:transport=dt_socket,address=8001,server=y,suspend=y"
+            msg ">> Starting Vilebot for remote debugging on port 8001"
+        else
+            msg ">> Starting Vilebot"
+        fi
+
+        nohup java $extra_opts -jar "$VB_JAR_PATH" 1>>"$VB_LOG_PATH/vilebot-stdout.log" 2>&1 &
+        echo -n "$!" >| "$VB_PID_PATH"
+    fi
+
+    sleep 1s
+
+    msg "Testing status"
+    if mode_status | grep -q -e ' down$'
+    then
+        msg ">> Did not start successfully"
+        mode_stop
+    else
+        msg ">> Started successfully"
+    fi
+}
+
+get_docker() {
+          local DOCKER=''
+          if command -v docker &> /dev/null
+          then
+            DOCKER='docker'
+          fi
+          if command -v podman &> /dev/null
+          then
+            DOCKER='podman'
+          fi
+          if [ -z "$DOCKER" ]
+          then
+            echo "Could not find docker or podman. Aborting"
+            exit 1
+          fi
+          echo $DOCKER
+}
+
+mode_stop() {
+    msg "Stopping services"
+
+    local vb_pid="$(get_vb_pid)"
+    local redis_pid="$(get_redis_pid)"
+
+    if [ -n "$vb_pid" ]
+    then
+        msg ">> Stopping vilebot"
+        kill -15 "$vb_pid" || msg ">> Couldn't send term signal to vilebot"
+        while kill -0 "$vb_pid" >/dev/null 2>&1
+        do
+            sleep 1
+        done
+    else
+        msg ">> No pid for vilebot"
+    fi
+
+    msg ">> Stopping local redis server"
+    kill -15 "$redis_pid" || msg ">> Couldn't send term signal to redis"
+    while kill -0 "$redis_pid" >/dev/null 2>&1
+    do
+        sleep 1
+    done
+    $(get_docker) kill --signal TERM redis_quarkus_prod >/dev/null 2>&1
+}
+
+mode_status() {
+    _is_redis_up() {
+        $(get_docker) container exists redis_quarkus_prod
+    }
+
+    _is_vilebot_up() {
+        local vb_pid="$(get_vb_pid)"
+        if [ -n "$vb_pid" ]
+        then
+            kill -0 "$(get_vb_pid)" >/dev/null 2>&1
+        else
+            return 1
+        fi
+    }
+
+    if _is_redis_up
+    then
+        echo "redis up"
+    else
+        echo "redis down"
+    fi
+
+    if _is_vilebot_up
+    then
+        echo "vilebot up"
+    else
+        echo "vilebot down"
+    fi
+
+    true
+
+}
+
+mode_restart() {
+    mode_stop
+    mode_start
+}
+
+# http://stackoverflow.com/a/630645/1905196
+get_script_location() {
+    prg=$0
+    if [ ! -e "$prg" ]; then
+      case $prg in
+        (*/*) exit 1;;
+        (*) prg=$(command -v -- "$prg") || exit;;
+      esac
+    fi
+    dir=$(
+      cd -P -- "$(dirname -- "$prg")" && pwd -P
+    ) || exit
+    prg=$dir/$(basename -- "$prg") || exit
+
+    printf '%s\n' "$prg"
+}
+SCRIPT_ROOT="$(dirname $(get_script_location))"
+cd "$SCRIPT_ROOT"
+
+# Get target state
+if [ "$#" -eq 1 ]
+then
+    mode_pattern='^[a-z]+$'
+    [[ "$1" =~ $mode_pattern ]] || die "Invalid mode, must conform to: $mode_pattern"
+    mode="$1"
+else
+    die "Need one argument: mode (one of start,stop,status,restart)"
+fi
+
+# Execute the right function, if available
+if declare -f "mode_$mode" >/dev/null
+then
+    eval "mode_$mode"
+else
+    die "No such mode '$mode'"
+fi
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh
new file mode 100755
index 00000000..fe04d15c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+#!/bin/sh
+set -u
+set -e
+set -f
+
+: "${VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH:=cfg/redis.conf}"
+: "${VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION:=db}"
+
+case $VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH in
+  /*) : ;;
+  *) VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH=$(pwd)/$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH ;;
+esac
+
+case $VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION in
+  /*) : ;;
+  *) VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION=$(pwd)/$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION ;;
+esac
+
+DOCKER=''
+if command -v docker &> /dev/null
+then
+  DOCKER='docker'
+fi
+if command -v podman &> /dev/null
+then
+  DOCKER='podman'
+fi
+if [ -z "$DOCKER" ]
+then
+  echo "Could not find docker or podman. Aborting"
+  exit 1
+fi
+
+
+mkdir -p "$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION"
+mkdir -p log
+
+echo "Starting production redis docker container..."
+$DOCKER run -it --rm=true --memory-swappiness=0 --name redis_quarkus_prod -p 6379:6379 -v "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH":/usr/local/etc/redis/redis.conf:ro -v "$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION":/data:z redis:5.0.6
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
index 64555b8e..cac839d6 100755
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
+++ b/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
@@ -1,2 +1,18 @@
 #!/bin/sh
-docker run -it --rm=true --memory-swappiness=0 --name redis_quarkus_test -p 6379:6379 redis:5.0.6
+DOCKER=''
+if command -v docker &> /dev/null
+then
+  DOCKER='docker'
+fi
+if command -v podman &> /dev/null
+then
+  DOCKER='podman'
+fi
+if [ -z "$DOCKER" ]
+then
+  echo "Could not find docker or podman. Aborting"
+  exit 1
+fi
+
+echo "Starting test redis docker container..."
+$DOCKER run -it --rm=true --memory-swappiness=0 --name redis_quarkus_test -p 6379:6379 redis:5.0.6

From 8900d7a5a09fc51714a392287bf6b5ebdd8e9467 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2021 15:14:07 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 77/79] Remove old Vilebot impl; renamed Quarkus impl

---
 pom.xml                                       |    3 +-
 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore                    |   42 -
 vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf                |  492 -
 vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml   |  266 -
 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml                       |  214 -
 vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh             |  239 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java |  149 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java     |   66 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java  |   91 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java    |   65 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java |  103 -
 {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/.dockerignore    |    0
 vilebot/.gitignore                            |   48 +-
 .../.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java  |    0
 .../.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties     |    0
 {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/README.md        |    0
 vilebot/cfg/vilebot.conf.example              |   42 -
 vilebot/download-fonts.sh                     |    7 -
 vilebot/files/fontlist.txt                    |  145 -
 vilebot/files/fortunelist.txt                 |  839 --
 vilebot/files/inspirationsindex.txt           | 2911 -----
 vilebot/files/inspirationslist.txt            | 9775 -----------------
 vilebot/files/wordlist.txt                    | 3100 ------
 vilebot/license-header.txt                    |    4 -
 {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/mvnw             |    0
 {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/mvnw.cmd         |    0
 vilebot/pom.xml                               |  367 +-
 vilebot/server-control.sh                     |   35 +-
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm            |    0
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar     |    0
 .../src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native         |    0
 .../main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless  |    0
 .../vilebot/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java   |   19 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Vilebot.java    |  183 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java   |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java   |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java    |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java    |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java |    0
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java  |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java |    0
 .../vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java         |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java |    0
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ChurchDB.java     |  242 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ExcuseDB.java     |   41 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/GroupDB.java |  170 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/KarmaDB.java |  263 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LastSeenDB.java   |   42 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LogDB.java   |   59 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/PasswordDB.java   |  147 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/QuoteFactDB.java  |  225 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/RedisDB.java |   19 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/db/UserlistDB.java   |  113 -
 .../handlers/admin/AdminManagement.java       |   66 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminPing.java     |   53 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Auth.java |   45 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/admin/GetLog.java        |   43 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Help.java |   47 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/admin/NickChange.java    |   43 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Ops.java  |   94 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Quit.java |   34 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/AnswerQuestion.java |  118 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ascii.java |  191 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/ChatLogger.java     |   29 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Church.java         |  378 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Countdown.java      |  447 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Decide.java         |   87 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMe.java   |  191 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Excuses.java        |   36 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNews.java       |  115 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Fortune.java        |   77 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/GetInfoOn.java      |  112 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Help.java  |  130 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/ImageToAscii.java   |   68 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Inspiration.java    |   99 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jaziz.java |  156 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jokes.java |  193 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Kaomoji.java        |  117 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Karma.java |  425 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaRoll.java      |  318 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaTransfer.java  |  288 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/LastMessageSed.java |  104 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/LastSeen.java       |   70 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Markov.java         |  124 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/News.java  |  234 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Omgword.java        |  225 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ops.java   |   48 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/QuotesAndFacts.java |  631 --
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMe.java       |  157 -
 .../handlers/user/RockPaperScissors.java      |  351 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Summon.java         |   63 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Trivia.java         |  317 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ttc.java   |   82 -
 .../handlers/user/TwitterCorrection.java      |   35 -
 .../handlers/user/UrlTitleAnnouncer.java      |   67 -
 .../handlers/user/UrlTweetAnnouncer.java      |  132 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/UserPing.java       |   29 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Userlists.java      |  164 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/Weather.java        |  323 -
 .../services/AnswerQuestionService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiService.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/CountdownService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/DecideService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneService.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java |    0
 .../vilebot/services/InspirationService.java  |    0
 .../vilebot/services/JazizService.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/JokesService.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaService.java        |    0
 .../services/KarmaTransferService.java        |    0
 .../services/LastMessageSedService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/MarkovService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/NewsService.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java      |    0
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java     |    0
 .../services/RockPaperScissorsService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/SummonService.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaService.java       |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java |    0
 .../services/TwitterCorrectionService.java    |    0
 .../services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java    |    0
 .../services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/UserListService.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingService.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherService.java      |    0
 .../admin/AdminManagementService.java         |    0
 .../services/admin/AdminPingService.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java |    0
 .../services/admin/NickChangeService.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java   |    0
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java |   19 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNick.java   |   60 -
 .../util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java      |    0
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ConfMap.java    |  199 -
 .../java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java  |    9 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Ignore.java     |   37 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java     |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitCommand.java   |   92 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java        |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java    |   56 +-
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/NewsParser.java |  107 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java |    0
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Sessions.java   |  115 -
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/StringUtil.java |   29 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java         |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java |    0
 .../vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java      |    0
 .../com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java |    0
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |    0
 .../src/main/resources/fontlist.txt           |    0
 .../src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt        |    0
 .../src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt  |    0
 .../src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt   |    0
 .../src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv        |    0
 .../src/main/resources/wordlist.txt           |    0
 .../database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java      |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java  |    0
 .../vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java      |    0
 .../services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java    |    0
 .../services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../services/CountdownServiceTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java        |    0
 .../services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java     |    0
 .../services/InspirationServiceTest.java      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java    |    0
 .../services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java    |    0
 .../services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java |    0
 .../vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java |    0
 .../RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java      |    0
 .../TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java         |    0
 .../UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java         |    0
 .../UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java |    0
 .../vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java |    0
 .../vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java     |    0
 .../services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java  |    0
 .../services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java       |    0
 .../services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java     |    0
 .../services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java |    0
 .../services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java        |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java   |    0
 .../vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java        |    0
 .../vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java         |    0
 .../vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java       |    0
 .../vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java        |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java |    0
 .../vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java    |    0
 .../java/vilebot/handlers/user/AsciiTest.java |  249 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/CountdownTest.java  |  125 -
 .../handlers/user/DownOrJustMeTest.java       |  113 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNewsTest.java   |  102 -
 .../java/vilebot/handlers/user/NewsTest.java  |  145 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMeTest.java   |  180 -
 .../handlers/user/TransferKarmaTest.java      |  138 -
 .../vilebot/handlers/user/TriviaTest.java     |   98 -
 .../handlers/user/TwitterCorrectionTest.java  |   66 -
 .../test/java/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java  |   32 -
 .../java/vilebot/util/LimitCommandTest.java   |   57 -
 .../java/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java    |   70 -
 .../java/vilebot/util/StringUtilTest.java     |   34 -
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml |    0
 .../vilebot/services/answer-short.xml         |    0
 .../vilebot/services/example-webpage.html     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/google-results.html      |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf    |    0
 .../vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml        |    0
 .../oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png  |  Bin
 .../vilebot/services/translations-cold.json   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/translations-fast.json   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/translations-hello.json  |    0
 .../vilebot/services/translations-myself.json |    0
 .../services/translations-running.json        |    0
 .../vilebot/services/translations-tower.json  |    0
 .../vilebot/services/trivia-example.json      |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html  |    0
 .../vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html   |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml     |    0
 .../vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml     |    0
 .../src/test/resources/fontlist.txt           |    0
 .../src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt        |    0
 .../src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt  |    0
 .../src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt   |    0
 .../src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv        |    0
 .../src/test/resources/wordlist.txt           |    0
 .../startProdRedisInstance.sh                 |    0
 .../startTestRedisInstance.sh                 |    0
 266 files changed, 308 insertions(+), 29506 deletions(-)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
 delete mode 100755 vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/.dockerignore (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/README.md (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/cfg/vilebot.conf.example
 delete mode 100755 vilebot/download-fonts.sh
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/files/fontlist.txt
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/files/fortunelist.txt
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/files/inspirationsindex.txt
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/files/inspirationslist.txt
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/files/wordlist.txt
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/license-header.txt
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/mvnw (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/mvnw.cmd (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Vilebot.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ChurchDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ExcuseDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/GroupDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/KarmaDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LastSeenDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LogDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/PasswordDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/QuoteFactDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/RedisDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/UserlistDB.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminManagement.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminPing.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Auth.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/GetLog.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Help.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/NickChange.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Ops.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Quit.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/AnswerQuestion.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ascii.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ChatLogger.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Church.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Countdown.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Decide.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMe.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Excuses.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNews.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Fortune.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/GetInfoOn.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Help.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ImageToAscii.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Inspiration.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jaziz.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jokes.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Kaomoji.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Karma.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaRoll.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaTransfer.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastMessageSed.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastSeen.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Markov.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/News.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Omgword.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ops.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/QuotesAndFacts.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMe.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RockPaperScissors.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Summon.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Trivia.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ttc.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrection.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTitleAnnouncer.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTweetAnnouncer.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UserPing.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Userlists.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Weather.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNick.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ConfMap.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Ignore.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitCommand.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/NewsParser.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Sessions.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/StringUtil.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/application.properties (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java (100%)
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 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java (100%)
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/AsciiTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/CountdownTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMeTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNewsTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/NewsTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMeTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TransferKarmaTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TriviaTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrectionTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/LimitCommandTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
 delete mode 100644 vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/StringUtilTest.java
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/startProdRedisInstance.sh (100%)
 rename {vilebot-quarkus => vilebot}/startTestRedisInstance.sh (100%)

diff --git a/pom.xml b/pom.xml
index 763a29eb..ea3be872 100644
--- a/pom.xml
+++ b/pom.xml
@@ -11,9 +11,8 @@
     </properties>
 
     <modules>
-        <module>vilebot</module>
-        <module>vilebot-quarkus</module>
         <module>quarkus-irc-bot</module>
+        <module>vilebot</module>
     </modules>
 
     <build>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore b/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
deleted file mode 100644
index 57eec4a2..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/.gitignore
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,42 +0,0 @@
-#Maven
-target/
-pom.xml.tag
-pom.xml.releaseBackup
-pom.xml.versionsBackup
-release.properties
-
-# Eclipse
-.project
-.classpath
-.settings/
-bin/
-
-# IntelliJ
-.idea
-*.ipr
-*.iml
-*.iws
-
-# NetBeans
-nb-configuration.xml
-
-# Visual Studio Code
-.vscode
-.factorypath
-
-# OSX
-.DS_Store
-
-# Vim
-*.swp
-*.swo
-
-# patch
-*.orig
-*.rej
-
-# Local environment
-/db
-/log
-.env
-.fonts
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf b/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
deleted file mode 100644
index 428d441d..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/cfg/redis.conf
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,492 +0,0 @@
-# Redis configuration file example
-
-# Note on units: when memory size is needed, it is possible to specifiy
-# it in the usual form of 1k 5GB 4M and so forth:
-#
-# 1k => 1000 bytes
-# 1kb => 1024 bytes
-# 1m => 1000000 bytes
-# 1mb => 1024*1024 bytes
-# 1g => 1000000000 bytes
-# 1gb => 1024*1024*1024 bytes
-#
-# units are case insensitive so 1GB 1Gb 1gB are all the same.
-
-# By default Redis does not run as a daemon. Use 'yes' if you need it.
-# Note that Redis will write a pid file in /var/run/redis.pid when daemonized.
-daemonize no
-
-# When running daemonized, Redis writes a pid file in /var/run/redis.pid by
-# default. You can specify a custom pid file location here.
-pidfile /var/run/redis/redis.pid
-
-# Accept connections on the specified port, default is 6379.
-# If port 0 is specified Redis will not listen on a TCP socket.
-port 6300
-
-# If you want you can bind a single interface, if the bind option is not
-# specified all the interfaces will listen for incoming connections.
-#
-bind 127.0.0.1
-
-# Specify the path for the unix socket that will be used to listen for
-# incoming connections. There is no default, so Redis will not listen
-# on a unix socket when not specified.
-#
-# unixsocket /tmp/redis.sock
-# unixsocketperm 755
-
-# Close the connection after a client is idle for N seconds (0 to disable)
-timeout 0
-
-# Set server verbosity to 'debug'
-# it can be one of:
-# debug (a lot of information, useful for development/testing)
-# verbose (many rarely useful info, but not a mess like the debug level)
-# notice (moderately verbose, what you want in production probably)
-# warning (only very important / critical messages are logged)
-loglevel notice
-
-# Specify the log file name. Also 'stdout' can be used to force
-# Redis to log on the standard output. Note that if you use standard
-# output for logging but daemonize, logs will be sent to /dev/null
-logfile log/redis.log
-
-# To enable logging to the system logger, just set 'syslog-enabled' to yes,
-# and optionally update the other syslog parameters to suit your needs.
-# syslog-enabled no
-
-# Specify the syslog identity.
-# syslog-ident redis
-
-# Specify the syslog facility.  Must be USER or between LOCAL0-LOCAL7.
-# syslog-facility local0
-
-# Set the number of databases. The default database is DB 0, you can select
-# a different one on a per-connection basis using SELECT <dbid> where
-# dbid is a number between 0 and 'databases'-1
-databases 1
-
-################################ SNAPSHOTTING  #################################
-#
-# Save the DB on disk:
-#
-#   save <seconds> <changes>
-#
-#   Will save the DB if both the given number of seconds and the given
-#   number of write operations against the DB occurred.
-#
-#   In the example below the behaviour will be to save:
-#   after 900 sec (15 min) if at least 1 key changed
-#   after 300 sec (5 min) if at least 10 keys changed
-#   after 60 sec if at least 10000 keys changed
-#
-#   Note: you can disable saving at all commenting all the "save" lines.
-
-save 900 1
-save 300 10
-save 60 10000
-
-# Compress string objects using LZF when dump .rdb databases?
-# For default that's set to 'yes' as it's almost always a win.
-# If you want to save some CPU in the saving child set it to 'no' but
-# the dataset will likely be bigger if you have compressible values or keys.
-rdbcompression yes
-
-# The filename where to dump the DB
-dbfilename vb-dbdump.rdb
-
-# The working directory.
-#
-# The DB will be written inside this directory, with the filename specified
-# above using the 'dbfilename' configuration directive.
-# 
-# Also the Append Only File will be created inside this directory.
-# 
-# Note that you must specify a directory here, not a file name.
-dir db/
-
-################################# REPLICATION #################################
-
-# Master-Slave replication. Use slaveof to make a Redis instance a copy of
-# another Redis server. Note that the configuration is local to the slave
-# so for example it is possible to configure the slave to save the DB with a
-# different interval, or to listen to another port, and so on.
-#
-# slaveof <masterip> <masterport>
-
-# If the master is password protected (using the "requirepass" configuration
-# directive below) it is possible to tell the slave to authenticate before
-# starting the replication synchronization process, otherwise the master will
-# refuse the slave request.
-#
-# masterauth <master-password>
-
-# When a slave lost the connection with the master, or when the replication
-# is still in progress, the slave can act in two different ways:
-#
-# 1) if slave-serve-stale-data is set to 'yes' (the default) the slave will
-#    still reply to client requests, possibly with out of data data, or the
-#    data set may just be empty if this is the first synchronization.
-#
-# 2) if slave-serve-stale data is set to 'no' the slave will reply with
-#    an error "SYNC with master in progress" to all the kind of commands
-#    but to INFO and SLAVEOF.
-#
-slave-serve-stale-data yes
-
-# Slaves send PINGs to server in a predefined interval. It's possible to change
-# this interval with the repl_ping_slave_period option. The default value is 10
-# seconds.
-#
-# repl-ping-slave-period 10
-
-# The following option sets a timeout for both Bulk transfer I/O timeout and
-# master data or ping response timeout. The default value is 60 seconds.
-#
-# It is important to make sure that this value is greater than the value
-# specified for repl-ping-slave-period otherwise a timeout will be detected
-# every time there is low traffic between the master and the slave.
-#
-# repl-timeout 60
-
-################################## SECURITY ###################################
-
-# Require clients to issue AUTH <PASSWORD> before processing any other
-# commands.  This might be useful in environments in which you do not trust
-# others with access to the host running redis-server.
-#
-# This should stay commented out for backward compatibility and because most
-# people do not need auth (e.g. they run their own servers).
-# 
-# Warning: since Redis is pretty fast an outside user can try up to
-# 150k passwords per second against a good box. This means that you should
-# use a very strong password otherwise it will be very easy to break.
-#
-# requirepass foobared
-
-# Command renaming.
-#
-# It is possilbe to change the name of dangerous commands in a shared
-# environment. For instance the CONFIG command may be renamed into something
-# of hard to guess so that it will be still available for internal-use
-# tools but not available for general clients.
-#
-# Example:
-#
-# rename-command CONFIG b840fc02d524045429941cc15f59e41cb7be6c52
-#
-# It is also possilbe to completely kill a command renaming it into
-# an empty string:
-#
-# rename-command CONFIG ""
-
-################################### LIMITS ####################################
-
-# Set the max number of connected clients at the same time. By default there
-# is no limit, and it's up to the number of file descriptors the Redis process
-# is able to open. The special value '0' means no limits.
-# Once the limit is reached Redis will close all the new connections sending
-# an error 'max number of clients reached'.
-#
-# maxclients 128
-
-# Don't use more memory than the specified amount of bytes.
-# When the memory limit is reached Redis will try to remove keys
-# accordingly to the eviction policy selected (see maxmemmory-policy).
-#
-# If Redis can't remove keys according to the policy, or if the policy is
-# set to 'noeviction', Redis will start to reply with errors to commands
-# that would use more memory, like SET, LPUSH, and so on, and will continue
-# to reply to read-only commands like GET.
-#
-# This option is usually useful when using Redis as an LRU cache, or to set
-# an hard memory limit for an instance (using the 'noeviction' policy).
-#
-# WARNING: If you have slaves attached to an instance with maxmemory on,
-# the size of the output buffers needed to feed the slaves are subtracted
-# from the used memory count, so that network problems / resyncs will
-# not trigger a loop where keys are evicted, and in turn the output
-# buffer of slaves is full with DELs of keys evicted triggering the deletion
-# of more keys, and so forth until the database is completely emptied.
-#
-# In short... if you have slaves attached it is suggested that you set a lower
-# limit for maxmemory so that there is some free RAM on the system for slave
-# output buffers (but this is not needed if the policy is 'noeviction').
-#
-# maxmemory <bytes>
-
-# MAXMEMORY POLICY: how Redis will select what to remove when maxmemory
-# is reached? You can select among five behavior:
-# 
-# volatile-lru -> remove the key with an expire set using an LRU algorithm
-# allkeys-lru -> remove any key accordingly to the LRU algorithm
-# volatile-random -> remove a random key with an expire set
-# allkeys->random -> remove a random key, any key
-# volatile-ttl -> remove the key with the nearest expire time (minor TTL)
-# noeviction -> don't expire at all, just return an error on write operations
-# 
-# Note: with all the kind of policies, Redis will return an error on write
-#       operations, when there are not suitable keys for eviction.
-#
-#       At the date of writing this commands are: set setnx setex append
-#       incr decr rpush lpush rpushx lpushx linsert lset rpoplpush sadd
-#       sinter sinterstore sunion sunionstore sdiff sdiffstore zadd zincrby
-#       zunionstore zinterstore hset hsetnx hmset hincrby incrby decrby
-#       getset mset msetnx exec sort
-#
-# The default is:
-#
-# maxmemory-policy volatile-lru
-
-# LRU and minimal TTL algorithms are not precise algorithms but approximated
-# algorithms (in order to save memory), so you can select as well the sample
-# size to check. For instance for default Redis will check three keys and
-# pick the one that was used less recently, you can change the sample size
-# using the following configuration directive.
-#
-# maxmemory-samples 3
-
-############################## APPEND ONLY MODE ###############################
-
-# By default Redis asynchronously dumps the dataset on disk. If you can live
-# with the idea that the latest records will be lost if something like a crash
-# happens this is the preferred way to run Redis. If instead you care a lot
-# about your data and don't want to that a single record can get lost you should
-# enable the append only mode: when this mode is enabled Redis will append
-# every write operation received in the file appendonly.aof. This file will
-# be read on startup in order to rebuild the full dataset in memory.
-#
-# Note that you can have both the async dumps and the append only file if you
-# like (you have to comment the "save" statements above to disable the dumps).
-# Still if append only mode is enabled Redis will load the data from the
-# log file at startup ignoring the dump.rdb file.
-#
-# IMPORTANT: Check the BGREWRITEAOF to check how to rewrite the append
-# log file in background when it gets too big.
-
-appendonly no
-
-# The name of the append only file (default: "appendonly.aof")
-# appendfilename appendonly.aof
-
-# The fsync() call tells the Operating System to actually write data on disk
-# instead to wait for more data in the output buffer. Some OS will really flush 
-# data on disk, some other OS will just try to do it ASAP.
-#
-# Redis supports three different modes:
-#
-# no: don't fsync, just let the OS flush the data when it wants. Faster.
-# always: fsync after every write to the append only log . Slow, Safest.
-# everysec: fsync only if one second passed since the last fsync. Compromise.
-#
-# The default is "everysec" that's usually the right compromise between
-# speed and data safety. It's up to you to understand if you can relax this to
-# "no" that will will let the operating system flush the output buffer when
-# it wants, for better performances (but if you can live with the idea of
-# some data loss consider the default persistence mode that's snapshotting),
-# or on the contrary, use "always" that's very slow but a bit safer than
-# everysec.
-#
-# If unsure, use "everysec".
-
-# appendfsync always
-appendfsync everysec
-# appendfsync no
-
-# When the AOF fsync policy is set to always or everysec, and a background
-# saving process (a background save or AOF log background rewriting) is
-# performing a lot of I/O against the disk, in some Linux configurations
-# Redis may block too long on the fsync() call. Note that there is no fix for
-# this currently, as even performing fsync in a different thread will block
-# our synchronous write(2) call.
-#
-# In order to mitigate this problem it's possible to use the following option
-# that will prevent fsync() from being called in the main process while a
-# BGSAVE or BGREWRITEAOF is in progress.
-#
-# This means that while another child is saving the durability of Redis is
-# the same as "appendfsync none", that in pratical terms means that it is
-# possible to lost up to 30 seconds of log in the worst scenario (with the
-# default Linux settings).
-# 
-# If you have latency problems turn this to "yes". Otherwise leave it as
-# "no" that is the safest pick from the point of view of durability.
-no-appendfsync-on-rewrite no
-
-# Automatic rewrite of the append only file.
-# Redis is able to automatically rewrite the log file implicitly calling
-# BGREWRITEAOF when the AOF log size will growth by the specified percentage.
-# 
-# This is how it works: Redis remembers the size of the AOF file after the
-# latest rewrite (or if no rewrite happened since the restart, the size of
-# the AOF at startup is used).
-#
-# This base size is compared to the current size. If the current size is
-# bigger than the specified percentage, the rewrite is triggered. Also
-# you need to specify a minimal size for the AOF file to be rewritten, this
-# is useful to avoid rewriting the AOF file even if the percentage increase
-# is reached but it is still pretty small.
-#
-# Specify a precentage of zero in order to disable the automatic AOF
-# rewrite feature.
-
-auto-aof-rewrite-percentage 100
-auto-aof-rewrite-min-size 64mb
-
-################################## SLOW LOG ###################################
-
-# The Redis Slow Log is a system to log queries that exceeded a specified
-# execution time. The execution time does not include the I/O operations
-# like talking with the client, sending the reply and so forth,
-# but just the time needed to actually execute the command (this is the only
-# stage of command execution where the thread is blocked and can not serve
-# other requests in the meantime).
-# 
-# You can configure the slow log with two parameters: one tells Redis
-# what is the execution time, in microseconds, to exceed in order for the
-# command to get logged, and the other parameter is the length of the
-# slow log. When a new command is logged the oldest one is removed from the
-# queue of logged commands.
-
-# The following time is expressed in microseconds, so 1000000 is equivalent
-# to one second. Note that a negative number disables the slow log, while
-# a value of zero forces the logging of every command.
-slowlog-log-slower-than 10000
-
-# There is no limit to this length. Just be aware that it will consume memory.
-# You can reclaim memory used by the slow log with SLOWLOG RESET.
-slowlog-max-len 128
-
-################################ VIRTUAL MEMORY ###############################
-
-### WARNING! Virtual Memory is deprecated in Redis 2.4
-### The use of Virtual Memory is strongly discouraged.
-
-# Virtual Memory allows Redis to work with datasets bigger than the actual
-# amount of RAM needed to hold the whole dataset in memory.
-# In order to do so very used keys are taken in memory while the other keys
-# are swapped into a swap file, similarly to what operating systems do
-# with memory pages.
-#
-# To enable VM just set 'vm-enabled' to yes, and set the following three
-# VM parameters accordingly to your needs.
-
-# vm-enabled no
-# vm-enabled yes
-
-# This is the path of the Redis swap file. As you can guess, swap files
-# can't be shared by different Redis instances, so make sure to use a swap
-# file for every redis process you are running. Redis will complain if the
-# swap file is already in use.
-#
-# The best kind of storage for the Redis swap file (that's accessed at random) 
-# is a Solid State Disk (SSD).
-#
-# *** WARNING *** if you are using a shared hosting the default of putting
-# the swap file under /tmp is not secure. Create a dir with access granted
-# only to Redis user and configure Redis to create the swap file there.
-#vm-swap-file /tmp/redis.swap
-
-# vm-max-memory configures the VM to use at max the specified amount of
-# RAM. Everything that deos not fit will be swapped on disk *if* possible, that
-# is, if there is still enough contiguous space in the swap file.
-#
-# With vm-max-memory 0 the system will swap everything it can. Not a good
-# default, just specify the max amount of RAM you can in bytes, but it's
-# better to leave some margin. For instance specify an amount of RAM
-# that's more or less between 60 and 80% of your free RAM.
-#vm-max-memory 0
-
-# Redis swap files is split into pages. An object can be saved using multiple
-# contiguous pages, but pages can't be shared between different objects.
-# So if your page is too big, small objects swapped out on disk will waste
-# a lot of space. If you page is too small, there is less space in the swap
-# file (assuming you configured the same number of total swap file pages).
-#
-# If you use a lot of small objects, use a page size of 64 or 32 bytes.
-# If you use a lot of big objects, use a bigger page size.
-# If unsure, use the default :)
-#vm-page-size 32
-
-# Number of total memory pages in the swap file.
-# Given that the page table (a bitmap of free/used pages) is taken in memory,
-# every 8 pages on disk will consume 1 byte of RAM.
-#
-# The total swap size is vm-page-size * vm-pages
-#
-# With the default of 32-bytes memory pages and 134217728 pages Redis will
-# use a 4 GB swap file, that will use 16 MB of RAM for the page table.
-#
-# It's better to use the smallest acceptable value for your application,
-# but the default is large in order to work in most conditions.
-#vm-pages 134217728
-
-# Max number of VM I/O threads running at the same time.
-# This threads are used to read/write data from/to swap file, since they
-# also encode and decode objects from disk to memory or the reverse, a bigger
-# number of threads can help with big objects even if they can't help with
-# I/O itself as the physical device may not be able to couple with many
-# reads/writes operations at the same time.
-#
-# The special value of 0 turn off threaded I/O and enables the blocking
-# Virtual Memory implementation.
-#vm-max-threads 4
-
-############################### ADVANCED CONFIG ###############################
-
-# Hashes are encoded in a special way (much more memory efficient) when they
-# have at max a given numer of elements, and the biggest element does not
-# exceed a given threshold. You can configure this limits with the following
-# configuration directives.
-#hash-max-zipmap-entries 512
-#hash-max-zipmap-value 64
-
-# Similarly to hashes, small lists are also encoded in a special way in order
-# to save a lot of space. The special representation is only used when
-# you are under the following limits:
-#list-max-ziplist-entries 512
-#list-max-ziplist-value 64
-
-# Sets have a special encoding in just one case: when a set is composed
-# of just strings that happens to be integers in radix 10 in the range
-# of 64 bit signed integers.
-# The following configuration setting sets the limit in the size of the
-# set in order to use this special memory saving encoding.
-#set-max-intset-entries 512
-
-# Similarly to hashes and lists, sorted sets are also specially encoded in
-# order to save a lot of space. This encoding is only used when the length and
-# elements of a sorted set are below the following limits:
-#zset-max-ziplist-entries 128
-#zset-max-ziplist-value 64
-
-# Active rehashing uses 1 millisecond every 100 milliseconds of CPU time in
-# order to help rehashing the main Redis hash table (the one mapping top-level
-# keys to values). The hash table implementation redis uses (see dict.c)
-# performs a lazy rehashing: the more operation you run into an hash table
-# that is rhashing, the more rehashing "steps" are performed, so if the
-# server is idle the rehashing is never complete and some more memory is used
-# by the hash table.
-# 
-# The default is to use this millisecond 10 times every second in order to
-# active rehashing the main dictionaries, freeing memory when possible.
-#
-# If unsure:
-# use "activerehashing no" if you have hard latency requirements and it is
-# not a good thing in your environment that Redis can reply form time to time
-# to queries with 2 milliseconds delay.
-#
-# use "activerehashing yes" if you don't have such hard requirements but
-# want to free memory asap when possible.
-activerehashing yes
-
-################################## INCLUDES ###################################
-
-# Include one or more other config files here.  This is useful if you
-# have a standard template that goes to all redis server but also need
-# to customize a few per-server settings.  Include files can include
-# other files, so use this wisely.
-#
-# include /path/to/local.conf
-# include /path/to/other.conf
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
deleted file mode 100644
index 852350bd..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,266 +0,0 @@
-<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
-<profiles version="11">
-<profile kind="CodeFormatterProfile" name="Maven" version="11">
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_if" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_assert" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.brace_position_for_enum_constant" value="next_line"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_semicolon" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.align_type_members_on_columns" value="false"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_colon_in_case" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.format_line_comments" value="true"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.number_of_empty_lines_to_preserve" value="1"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_between_brackets_in_array_type_reference" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_switch" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_between_type_declarations" value="1"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_parenthesized_expression_in_return" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_in_empty_method_body" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_opening_brace_in_annotation_type_declaration" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.indent_statements_compare_to_body" value="true"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_new_line_after_opening_brace_in_array_initializer" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.format_guardian_clause_on_one_line" value="false"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.comment.insert_new_line_before_root_tags" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_for" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.tabulation.size" value="4"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_angle_bracket_in_type_parameters" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_imports" value="1"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_colon_in_case" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_enum_constant_arguments" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_new_chunk" value="1"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.continuation_indentation" value="4"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_binary_operator" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_comma_in_constructor_declaration_parameters" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_for" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_superinterfaces" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_parameters_in_method_declaration" value="18"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_assignment" value="20"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.blank_lines_before_member_type" value="1"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_comma_in_constructor_declaration_throws" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.alignment_for_conditional_expression" value="80"/>
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-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_postfix_operator" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.brace_position_for_block" value="next_line"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_brace_in_array_initializer" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_bracket_in_array_allocation_expression" value="do not insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_and_in_type_parameter" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_after_opening_paren_in_try" value="insert"/>
-<setting id="org.eclipse.jdt.core.formatter.insert_space_before_closing_paren_in_try" value="insert"/>
-</profile>
-</profiles>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml b/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
deleted file mode 100644
index d61216a4..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/pom.xml
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,214 +0,0 @@
-<?xml version="1.0"?>
-<project xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd" xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
-    xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance">
-  <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
-  <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
-  <artifactId>vilebot-quarkus</artifactId>
-  <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
-  <properties>
-    <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
-    <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
-    <maven.compiler.source>11</maven.compiler.source>
-    <maven.compiler.target>11</maven.compiler.target>
-    <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
-    <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
-    <quarkus-plugin.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus-plugin.version>
-    <quarkus.platform.artifact-id>quarkus-universe-bom</quarkus.platform.artifact-id>
-    <quarkus.platform.group-id>io.quarkus</quarkus.platform.group-id>
-    <quarkus.platform.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus.platform.version>
-    <surefire-plugin.version>3.0.0-M5</surefire-plugin.version>
-    <maven-license-plugin.version>1.9.0</maven-license-plugin.version>
-    <formatter-maven-plugin.version>2.8.1</formatter-maven-plugin.version>
-    <apache-commons.version>3.12.0</apache-commons.version>
-  </properties>
-
-  <dependencyManagement>
-    <dependencies>
-      <dependency>
-        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-        <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
-        <version>${quarkus.platform.version}</version>
-        <type>pom</type>
-        <scope>import</scope>
-      </dependency>
-
-      <dependency>
-        <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
-        <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
-        <version>${apache-commons.version}</version>
-      </dependency>
-    </dependencies>
-  </dependencyManagement>
-
-  <dependencies>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
-      <version>${project.version}</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-jackson</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-redis-client</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
-      <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>rome</groupId>
-      <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
-      <version>1.0</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.jsoup</groupId>
-      <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
-      <version>1.8.1</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.twitter4j</groupId>
-      <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
-      <version>[4.0,)</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>info.debatty</groupId>
-      <artifactId>java-string-similarity</artifactId>
-      <version>0.17</version>
-      <scope>compile</scope>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.beanshell</groupId>
-      <artifactId>bsh</artifactId>
-      <version>2.0b4</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>com.github.lalyos</groupId>
-      <artifactId>jfiglet</artifactId>
-      <version>0.0.8</version>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
-      <scope>test</scope>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>org.assertj</groupId>
-      <artifactId>assertj-core</artifactId>
-      <version>3.19.0</version>
-      <scope>test</scope>
-    </dependency>
-    <dependency>
-      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
-      <scope>test</scope>
-    </dependency>
-  </dependencies>
-  <build>
-    <plugins>
-      <plugin>
-        <groupId>com.mycila.maven-license-plugin</groupId>
-        <artifactId>maven-license-plugin</artifactId>
-        <version>${maven-license-plugin.version}</version>
-        <configuration>
-          <header>license-header.txt</header>
-          <strictCheck>true</strictCheck>
-          <includes>
-            <include>src/**</include>
-          </includes>
-         </configuration>
-      </plugin>
-      <plugin>
-        <groupId>net.revelc.code.formatter</groupId>
-        <artifactId>formatter-maven-plugin</artifactId>
-        <version>${formatter-maven-plugin.version}</version>
-        <configuration>
-          <configFile>${project.basedir}/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml</configFile>
-         </configuration>
-        <executions>
-          <execution>
-            <goals>
-              <goal>format</goal>
-            </goals>
-          </execution>
-        </executions>
-      </plugin>
-
-      <plugin>
-        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
-        <artifactId>quarkus-maven-plugin</artifactId>
-        <version>${quarkus-plugin.version}</version>
-        <extensions>true</extensions>
-        <executions>
-          <execution>
-            <goals>
-              <goal>build</goal>
-              <goal>generate-code</goal>
-              <goal>generate-code-tests</goal>
-            </goals>
-          </execution>
-        </executions>
-      </plugin>
-      <plugin>
-        <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
-        <version>${compiler-plugin.version}</version>
-        <configuration>
-          <parameters>${maven.compiler.parameters}</parameters>
-        </configuration>
-      </plugin>
-      <plugin>
-        <artifactId>maven-surefire-plugin</artifactId>
-        <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
-        <configuration>
-          <systemPropertyVariables>
-            <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
-            <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
-          </systemPropertyVariables>
-        </configuration>
-      </plugin>
-    </plugins>
-  </build>
-  <profiles>
-    <profile>
-      <id>native</id>
-      <activation>
-        <property>
-          <name>native</name>
-        </property>
-      </activation>
-      <build>
-        <plugins>
-          <plugin>
-            <artifactId>maven-failsafe-plugin</artifactId>
-            <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
-            <executions>
-              <execution>
-                <goals>
-                  <goal>integration-test</goal>
-                  <goal>verify</goal>
-                </goals>
-                <configuration>
-                  <systemPropertyVariables>
-                    <native.image.path>${project.build.directory}/${project.build.finalName}-runner</native.image.path>
-                    <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
-                    <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
-                  </systemPropertyVariables>
-                </configuration>
-              </execution>
-            </executions>
-          </plugin>
-        </plugins>
-      </build>
-      <properties>
-        <quarkus.package.type>native</quarkus.package.type>
-      </properties>
-    </profile>
-  </profiles>
-</project>
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh b/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
deleted file mode 100755
index 670f984d..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/server-control.sh
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,239 +0,0 @@
-#!/bin/bash
-
-# Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-#
-# This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-# of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
-
-set -u
-set -e
-set -f
-
-
-# Accept any existing definitons of these variables, otherwise set to their defaults.
-
-: "${VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH:=cfg/redis.conf}"
-: "${VB_REDIS_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-redis-server-pid-$USER}"
-: "${VB_JAR_PATH:=target/quarkus-app/quarkus-run.jar}"
-: "${VB_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-server-pid-$USER}"
-: "${VB_LOG_PATH:=log}"
-: "${VB_REMOTE_DEBUG:=0}"
-
-
-die() {
-    if [ -n "$*" ]
-    then
-        echo "Error: $@" >&2
-    fi
-    exit 1
-}
-
-msg() {
-    echo "$*" >&2
-}
-
-trap '[ $? -eq 0 ] || [ "$FUNCNAME" = "die" ] || echo "Exiting abnormally with code $? (in $FUNCNAME)"' EXIT
-
-get_redis_port() {
-    sed -r -e 's/^port ([0-9]+)$/\1/;tx;d;:x' "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH"
-}
-
-get_pid() {
-    local pid_file="$1"
-    local pid_pattern='^[0-9]+$'
-    local pid=""
-    if [ -f "$pid_file" ]
-    then
-        pid="$(head -n1 "$pid_file")"
-        [[ "$pid" =~ $pid_pattern ]] || pid=""
-    fi
-    echo "$pid"
-}
-
-get_vb_pid() {
-    get_pid "$VB_PID_PATH"
-}
-
-get_redis_pid() {
-    get_pid "$VB_REDIS_PID_PATH"
-}
-
-
-mode_start() {
-    msg "Starting services"
-    msg ">> Testing prerequisites"
-    local required_files=("$VB_JAR_PATH"
-                          "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH"
-                          ".env")
-
-    for filepath in "${required_files[@]}"
-    do
-        if [ -f "$filepath" ]
-        then
-            msg ">> '$filepath' exists and is a file"
-        else
-            die ">> '$filepath' does not exist or is not a file"
-        fi
-    done
-
-    mkdir -p log
-
-    status_info=$(mode_status | grep -e ' up$' || true)
-
-    if [[ "$status_info" =~ redis ]]
-    then
-        msg ">> Redis server already up"
-    else
-        msg ">> Starting local redis server"
-        nohup ./startProdRedisInstance.sh >> log/redis.log 2>&1 &
-        echo -n "$!" >| "$VB_REDIS_PID_PATH"
-    fi
-
-    if [[ "$status_info" =~ vilebot ]]
-    then
-        msg ">> Vilebot already up"
-    else
-        local extra_opts=""
-        if [ "$VB_REMOTE_DEBUG" = "1" ]
-        then
-            extra_opts="-Xdebug -Xrunjdwp:transport=dt_socket,address=8001,server=y,suspend=y"
-            msg ">> Starting Vilebot for remote debugging on port 8001"
-        else
-            msg ">> Starting Vilebot"
-        fi
-
-        nohup java $extra_opts -jar "$VB_JAR_PATH" 1>>"$VB_LOG_PATH/vilebot-stdout.log" 2>&1 &
-        echo -n "$!" >| "$VB_PID_PATH"
-    fi
-
-    sleep 1s
-
-    msg "Testing status"
-    if mode_status | grep -q -e ' down$'
-    then
-        msg ">> Did not start successfully"
-        mode_stop
-    else
-        msg ">> Started successfully"
-    fi
-}
-
-get_docker() {
-          local DOCKER=''
-          if command -v docker &> /dev/null
-          then
-            DOCKER='docker'
-          fi
-          if command -v podman &> /dev/null
-          then
-            DOCKER='podman'
-          fi
-          if [ -z "$DOCKER" ]
-          then
-            echo "Could not find docker or podman. Aborting"
-            exit 1
-          fi
-          echo $DOCKER
-}
-
-mode_stop() {
-    msg "Stopping services"
-
-    local vb_pid="$(get_vb_pid)"
-    local redis_pid="$(get_redis_pid)"
-
-    if [ -n "$vb_pid" ]
-    then
-        msg ">> Stopping vilebot"
-        kill -15 "$vb_pid" || msg ">> Couldn't send term signal to vilebot"
-        while kill -0 "$vb_pid" >/dev/null 2>&1
-        do
-            sleep 1
-        done
-    else
-        msg ">> No pid for vilebot"
-    fi
-
-    msg ">> Stopping local redis server"
-    kill -15 "$redis_pid" || msg ">> Couldn't send term signal to redis"
-    while kill -0 "$redis_pid" >/dev/null 2>&1
-    do
-        sleep 1
-    done
-    $(get_docker) kill --signal TERM redis_quarkus_prod >/dev/null 2>&1
-}
-
-mode_status() {
-    _is_redis_up() {
-        $(get_docker) container exists redis_quarkus_prod
-    }
-
-    _is_vilebot_up() {
-        local vb_pid="$(get_vb_pid)"
-        if [ -n "$vb_pid" ]
-        then
-            kill -0 "$(get_vb_pid)" >/dev/null 2>&1
-        else
-            return 1
-        fi
-    }
-
-    if _is_redis_up
-    then
-        echo "redis up"
-    else
-        echo "redis down"
-    fi
-
-    if _is_vilebot_up
-    then
-        echo "vilebot up"
-    else
-        echo "vilebot down"
-    fi
-
-    true
-
-}
-
-mode_restart() {
-    mode_stop
-    mode_start
-}
-
-# http://stackoverflow.com/a/630645/1905196
-get_script_location() {
-    prg=$0
-    if [ ! -e "$prg" ]; then
-      case $prg in
-        (*/*) exit 1;;
-        (*) prg=$(command -v -- "$prg") || exit;;
-      esac
-    fi
-    dir=$(
-      cd -P -- "$(dirname -- "$prg")" && pwd -P
-    ) || exit
-    prg=$dir/$(basename -- "$prg") || exit
-
-    printf '%s\n' "$prg"
-}
-SCRIPT_ROOT="$(dirname $(get_script_location))"
-cd "$SCRIPT_ROOT"
-
-# Get target state
-if [ "$#" -eq 1 ]
-then
-    mode_pattern='^[a-z]+$'
-    [[ "$1" =~ $mode_pattern ]] || die "Invalid mode, must conform to: $mode_pattern"
-    mode="$1"
-else
-    die "Need one argument: mode (one of start,stop,status,restart)"
-fi
-
-# Execute the right function, if available
-if declare -f "mode_$mode" >/dev/null
-then
-    eval "mode_$mode"
-else
-    die "No such mode '$mode'"
-fi
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
deleted file mode 100644
index b85adc68..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,149 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.awt.*;
-import java.awt.image.BufferedImage;
-
-/*Copyright (c) 2011 Aravind Rao
-
-Modifications by Sam Barnum, 360Works 2012
-
-Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy of this software and associated documentation
- * files (the "Software"), to deal in the Software without restriction, including without limitation the rights to
- * use, copy, modify, merge, publish, distribute, sublicense, and/or sell copies of the Software, and to permit persons
- * to whom the Software is furnished to do so, subject to the following conditions:
-
-The above copyright notice and this permission notice shall be included in all copies or substantial portions of the Software.
-
-THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
- * THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NONINFRINGEMENT. IN NO EVENT SHALL THE
- * AUTHORS OR COPYRIGHT HOLDERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY CLAIM, DAMAGES OR OTHER LIABILITY, WHETHER IN AN ACTION OF CONTRACT,
- * TORT OR OTHERWISE, ARISING FROM, OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SOFTWARE OR THE USE OR OTHER DEALINGS IN THE SOFTWARE.
-*/
-
-public final class ASCII
-{
-    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image )
-    {
-        return convert( image, false );
-    }
-
-    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image, boolean negative )
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder( ( image.getWidth() + 1 ) * image.getHeight() );
-        for ( int y = 0; y < image.getHeight(); y++ )
-        {
-            if ( sb.length() != 0 )
-                sb.append( "\n" );
-            for ( int x = 0; x < image.getWidth(); x++ )
-            {
-                Color pixelColor = new Color( image.getRGB( x, y ) );
-                double gValue = (double) pixelColor.getRed() * 0.2989 + (double) pixelColor.getBlue() * 0.5870
-                    + (double) pixelColor.getGreen() * 0.1140;
-                final char s = negative ? returnStrNeg( gValue ) : returnStrPos( gValue );
-                sb.append( s );
-            }
-        }
-        return sb.toString();
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Create a new string and assign to it a string based on the grayscale value. If the grayscale value is very high,
-     * the pixel is very bright and assign characters such as . and , that do not appear very dark. If the grayscale
-     * value is very lowm the pixel is very dark, assign characters such as # and @ which appear very dark.
-     *
-     * @param g grayscale
-     * @return char
-     */
-    private static char returnStrPos( double g )// takes the grayscale value as parameter
-    {
-        final char str;
-
-        if ( g >= 230.0 )
-        {
-            str = ' ';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 200.0 )
-        {
-            str = '.';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 180.0 )
-        {
-            str = '*';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 160.0 )
-        {
-            str = ':';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 130.0 )
-        {
-            str = 'o';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 100.0 )
-        {
-            str = '&';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 70.0 )
-        {
-            str = '8';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 50.0 )
-        {
-            str = '#';
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            str = '@';
-        }
-        return str; // return the character
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Same method as above, except it reverses the darkness of the pixel. A dark pixel is given a light character and
-     * vice versa.
-     *
-     * @param g grayscale
-     * @return char
-     */
-    private static char returnStrNeg( double g )
-    {
-        final char str;
-
-        if ( g >= 230.0 )
-        {
-            str = '@';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 200.0 )
-        {
-            str = '#';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 180.0 )
-        {
-            str = '8';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 160.0 )
-        {
-            str = '&';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 130.0 )
-        {
-            str = 'o';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 100.0 )
-        {
-            str = ':';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 70.0 )
-        {
-            str = '*';
-        }
-        else if ( g >= 50.0 )
-        {
-            str = '.';
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            str = ' ';
-        }
-        return str;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e4379ab7..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Colors.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,66 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-// Taken from keratin-irc: https://github.com/ASzc/keratin-irc
-
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Alexander Szczuczko
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-/**
- * Contains the de facto standard IRC colour codes.
- */
-public class Colors
-{
-    public static final String BLACK = "\u000301";
-
-    public static final String BLUE = "\u000312";
-
-    public static final String BOLD = "\u0002";
-
-    public static final String BROWN = "\u000305";
-
-    public static final String CYAN = "\u000311";
-
-    public static final String DARK_BLUE = "\u000302";
-
-    public static final String DARK_GRAY = "\u000314";
-
-    public static final String DARK_GREEN = "\u000303";
-
-    public static final String GREEN = "\u000309";
-
-    public static final String LIGHT_GRAY = "\u000315";
-
-    public static final String MAGENTA = "\u000313";
-
-    public static final String NORMAL = "\u000f";
-
-    public static final String OLIVE = "\u000307";
-
-    public static final String PURPLE = "\u000306";
-
-    public static final String RED = "\u000304";
-
-    public static final String REVERSE = "\u0016";
-
-    public static final String TEAL = "\u000310";
-
-    public static final String UNDERLINE = "\u001f";
-
-    public static final String WHITE = "\u000300";
-
-    public static final String YELLOW = "\u000308";
-
-    /**
-     * Return a copy of the input String with IRC bold characters inserted.
-     *
-     * @return The modified copy of the input String
-     */
-    public static String bold( String input )
-    {
-        return BOLD + input + BOLD;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 0716adbe..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,91 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
-import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
-
-import javax.crypto.Mac;
-import javax.crypto.spec.SecretKeySpec;
-
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-
-public class HMAC
-{
-
-    private static Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( HMAC.class );
-
-    /**
-     * Generate an HMAC signature from message and key, using the SHA2 512 bit hash algo.
-     * 
-     * @param message The message to be signed
-     * @param key The key
-     * @return HMAC signature of message using key if no error, else null
-     */
-    public static String generateHMAC( String message, String key )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            return generateHMAC( "HmacSHA512", message, key );
-        }
-        catch ( NoSuchAlgorithmException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-            logger.error( "Hash algorithim unsupported" );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Generate an HMAC signature from message and key, using the given hash algo.
-     * 
-     * @param algo An Hmac Algorithm to use, see {@link Mac#getInstance(String)}
-     * @param message The message to be signed
-     * @param key The key
-     * @return HMAC signature of message using key if no error, else null
-     */
-    public static String generateHMAC( String algo, String message, String key )
-        throws NoSuchAlgorithmException
-    {
-        Mac mac = Mac.getInstance( algo );
-        SecretKeySpec secret = new SecretKeySpec( key.getBytes(), algo );
-        try
-        {
-            mac.init( secret );
-
-            byte[] digest = mac.doFinal( message.getBytes() );
-            return bytesToHex( digest );
-        }
-        catch ( InvalidKeyException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-            logger.error( "Can't init Mac instance with key" );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * http://stackoverflow.com/questions/9655181/convert-from-byte-array-to-hex-string-in-java
-     * 
-     * @param bytes byte array
-     * @return String of byte array converted to hex characters. Lower case alphabet.
-     */
-    private static String bytesToHex( byte[] bytes )
-    {
-        final char[] hexArray = { '0', '1', '2', '3', '4', '5', '6', '7', '8', '9', 'a', 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e', 'f' };
-        char[] hexChars = new char[bytes.length * 2];
-        int v;
-        for ( int j = 0; j < bytes.length; j++ )
-        {
-            v = bytes[j] & 0xFF;
-            hexChars[j * 2] = hexArray[v >>> 4];
-            hexChars[j * 2 + 1] = hexArray[v & 0x0F];
-        }
-        return new String( hexChars );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
deleted file mode 100644
index dbff1090..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,65 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
-import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
-
-import java.util.Collection;
-import java.util.Collections;
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.stream.Collectors;
-
-public class MangleNicks
-{
-
-    public static String mangleNicks( ChannelEvent event, String message )
-    {
-        return mangleNicks( event.getChannel().getUsers().stream().map( Nick::getNick ).map( Nick::getFullNick ).collect( Collectors.toList() ),
-                            message );
-    }
-
-    public static String mangleNicks( ActorEvent<User> event, String message )
-    {
-        // Delegate to Channel if possible
-        if ( event instanceof ChannelEvent )
-        {
-            return mangleNicks( (ChannelEvent) event, message );
-        }
-        return mangleNicks( Collections.singleton( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getActor() ).getNick() ), message );
-    }
-
-    private static String mangleNicks( Collection<String> nicks, String message )
-    {
-
-        if ( nicks.isEmpty() )
-        {
-            return message;
-        }
-
-        StringBuilder reply = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( String word : message.split( " " ) )
-        {
-            reply.append( " " );
-            reply.append( inside( nicks, word ) ? mangled( word ) : word );
-        }
-        return reply.toString().trim();
-    }
-
-    private static String mangled( String word )
-    {
-        return new StringBuilder( word ).reverse().toString();
-    }
-
-    private static boolean inside( Collection<String> nicks, String word )
-    {
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            if ( word.contains( nick ) )
-            {
-                return true;
-            }
-        }
-        return false;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java b/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4b593a6b..00000000
--- a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Zalgo.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,103 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.util.Random;
-
-/*
- * A modified version of the Zalgo generator found at:
- * https://github.com/tomauty/ZalgoTextGenerator
- */
-
-public class Zalgo
-{
-
-    private static final float Z_RATE = 0.9f;
-
-    private static final Random rand = new Random();
-
-    private static final char[] DIAS = { '\u030d', /* ̍ */ '\u030e', /* ̎ */
-        '\u0304', /* ̄ */ '\u0305', /* ̅ */
-        '\u033f', /* ̿ */ '\u0311', /* ̑ */
-        '\u0306', /* ̆ */ '\u0310', /* ̐ */
-        '\u0352', /* ͒ */ '\u0357', /* ͗ */
-        '\u0351', /* ͑ */ '\u0307', /* ̇ */
-        '\u0308', /* ̈ */ '\u030a', /* ̊ */
-        '\u0342', /* ͂ */ '\u0343', /* ̓ */
-        '\u0344', /* ̈ ́ */ '\u034a', /* ͊ */
-        '\u034b', /* ͋ */ '\u034c', /* ͌ */
-        '\u0303', /* ̃ */ '\u0302', /* ̂ */
-        '\u030c', /* ̌ */ '\u0350', /* ͐ */
-        '\u0300', /* ̀ */ '\u0301', /* ́ */
-        '\u030b', /* ̋ */ '\u030f', /* ̏ */
-        '\u0312', /* ̒ */ '\u0313', /* ̓ */
-        '\u0314', /* ̔ */ '\u033d', /* ̽ */
-        '\u0309', /* ̉ */ '\u0363', /* ͣ */
-        '\u0364', /* ͤ */ '\u0365', /* ͥ */
-        '\u0366', /* ͦ */ '\u0367', /* ͧ */
-        '\u0368', /* ͨ */ '\u0369', /* ͩ */
-        '\u036a', /* ͪ */ '\u036b', /* ͫ */
-        '\u036c', /* ͬ */ '\u036d', /* ͭ */
-        '\u036e', /* ͮ */ '\u036f', /* ͯ */
-        '\u033e', /* ̾ */ '\u035b', /* ͛ */
-        '\u0346', /* ͆ */ '\u031a', /* ̚ */
-        '\u0316', /* ̖ */ '\u0317', /* ̗ */
-        '\u0318', /* ̘ */ '\u0319', /* ̙ */
-        '\u031c', /* ̜ */ '\u031d', /* ̝ */
-        '\u031e', /* ̞ */ '\u031f', /* ̟ */
-        '\u0320', /* ̠ */ '\u0324', /* ̤ */
-        '\u0325', /* ̥ */ '\u0326', /* ̦ */
-        '\u0329', /* ̩ */ '\u032a', /* ̪ */
-        '\u032b', /* ̫ */ '\u032c', /* ̬ */
-        '\u032d', /* ̭ */ '\u032e', /* ̮ */
-        '\u032f', /* ̯ */ '\u0330', /* ̰ */
-        '\u0331', /* ̱ */ '\u0332', /* ̲ */
-        '\u0333', /* ̳ */ '\u0339', /* ̹ */
-        '\u033a', /* ̺ */ '\u033b', /* ̻ */
-        '\u033c', /* ̼ */ '\u0345', /* ͅ */
-        '\u0347', /* ͇ */ '\u0348', /* ͈ */
-        '\u0349', /* ͉ */ '\u034d', /* ͍ */
-        '\u034e', /* ͎ */ '\u0353', /* ͓ */
-        '\u0354', /* ͔ */ '\u0355', /* ͕ */
-        '\u0356', /* ͖ */ '\u0359', /* ͙ */
-        '\u035a', /* ͚ */ '\u0323', /* ̣ */
-        '\u0315', /* ̕ */ '\u031b', /* ̛ */
-        '\u0340', /* ̀ */ '\u0341', /* ́ */
-        '\u0358', /* ͘ */ '\u0321', /* ̡ */
-        '\u0322', /* ̢ */ '\u0327', /* ̧ */
-        '\u0328', /* ̨ */ '\u0334', /* ̴ */
-        '\u0335', /* ̵ */ '\u0336', /* ̶ */
-        '\u034f', /* ͏ */ '\u035c', /* ͜ */
-        '\u035d', /* ͝ */ '\u035e', /* ͞ */
-        '\u035f', /* ͟ */ '\u0360', /* ͠ */
-        '\u0362', /* ͢ */ '\u0338', /* ̸ */
-        '\u0337', /* ̷ */ '\u0361', /* ͡ */
-        '\u0489' /* ҉_ */
-    };
-
-    public static String generate( String source )
-    {
-        StringBuilder result = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( int i = 0; i < source.length(); i++ )
-        {
-            char character = source.charAt( i );
-            result.append( getZalgo( character ) );
-        }
-
-        return result.toString();
-    }
-
-    private static String getZalgo( char c )
-    {
-        if ( rand.nextFloat() < Z_RATE )
-        {
-            return c + randomDia();
-        }
-        return "" + c;
-    }
-
-    private static String randomDia()
-    {
-        int index = rand.nextInt( DIAS.length );
-        return "" + DIAS[index];
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore b/vilebot/.dockerignore
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/.dockerignore
rename to vilebot/.dockerignore
diff --git a/vilebot/.gitignore b/vilebot/.gitignore
index a2553546..57eec4a2 100644
--- a/vilebot/.gitignore
+++ b/vilebot/.gitignore
@@ -1,6 +1,42 @@
-/target/
-/db/
-/db-backups/
-/log/
-/cfg/vilebot*.conf
-/files/fonts/
\ No newline at end of file
+#Maven
+target/
+pom.xml.tag
+pom.xml.releaseBackup
+pom.xml.versionsBackup
+release.properties
+
+# Eclipse
+.project
+.classpath
+.settings/
+bin/
+
+# IntelliJ
+.idea
+*.ipr
+*.iml
+*.iws
+
+# NetBeans
+nb-configuration.xml
+
+# Visual Studio Code
+.vscode
+.factorypath
+
+# OSX
+.DS_Store
+
+# Vim
+*.swp
+*.swo
+
+# patch
+*.orig
+*.rej
+
+# Local environment
+/db
+/log
+.env
+.fonts
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java b/vilebot/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
rename to vilebot/.mvn/wrapper/MavenWrapperDownloader.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties b/vilebot/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
rename to vilebot/.mvn/wrapper/maven-wrapper.properties
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/README.md b/vilebot/README.md
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/README.md
rename to vilebot/README.md
diff --git a/vilebot/cfg/vilebot.conf.example b/vilebot/cfg/vilebot.conf.example
deleted file mode 100644
index 20f9fba6..00000000
--- a/vilebot/cfg/vilebot.conf.example
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,42 +0,0 @@
-logLevel=TRACE
-
-redisHost=localhost
-redisPort=6300
-redisPassword=
-
-ircBotAmount=1
-
-ircUser1=ExampleBot
-ircNick1=ExampleBot
-ircRealName1=A Bot
-ircServerAddress1=irc.example.com
-ircPort1=6697
-ircSslMode1=ON_NOHOST
-ircChannel1=#examplebot
-ircChannelAutoOp1=false
-
-# Retrieve these sections from https://apps.twitter.com
-# for twitter integration.
-consumerKey=
-consumerSecret=
-accessToken=
-accessTokenSecret=
-
-# Retrieve from https://words.bighugelabs.com/getkey.php
-# for jaziz intergration.
-thesaurusKey=
-
-# Retrieve from https://developer.wolframalpha.com/portal/apisignup.html
-# for answerQuestion intergration.
-wolframKey=
-
-rpsChannel=#exampleGameChannel
-countdownChannel=#exampleGameChannel
-jeopardyChannel=#exampleGameChannel
-OmgwordChannel=#exampleGameChannel
-OmgwordList=files/wordlist.txt
-FortuneList=files/fortunelist.txt
-InspirationList=files/inspirationslist.txt
-InspirationIndex=files/inspirationsindex.txt
-
-pastebinApiUrl=
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/download-fonts.sh b/vilebot/download-fonts.sh
deleted file mode 100755
index 29abd9ec..00000000
--- a/vilebot/download-fonts.sh
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,7 +0,0 @@
-#!/usr/bin/env bash
-
-mkdir files/fonts
-for font in `cat files/fontlist.txt`;
-do
-    wget -P files/fonts/ $font
-done
diff --git a/vilebot/files/fontlist.txt b/vilebot/files/fontlist.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 4cf2f995..00000000
--- a/vilebot/files/fontlist.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,145 +0,0 @@
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/3-d.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/3x5.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/5lineoblique.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/acrobatic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alligator.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alligator2.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/alphabet.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/avatar.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner3-D.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner3.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/banner4.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/barbwire.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/basic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bell.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/big.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bigchief.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/binary.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/block.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bubble.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/bulbhead.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/calgphy2.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/caligraphy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/catwalk.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/chunky.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/coinstak.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/colossal.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/computer.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/contessa.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/contrast.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cosmic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cosmike.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cricket.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cursive.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cyberlarge.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cybermedium.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/cybersmall.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/diamond.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/digital.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/doh.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/doom.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/dotmatrix.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/drpepper.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftichess.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftifont.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftipiti.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftirobot.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftitalic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftiwall.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/eftiwater.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/epic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fender.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fourtops.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/fuzzy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/goofy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/gothic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/graffiti.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/hollywood.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/invita.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric1.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric2.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric3.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/isometric4.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/italic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ivrit.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/jazmine.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/jerusalem.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/katakana.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/kban.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/larry3d.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lcd.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lean.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/letters.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/linux.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/lockergnome.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/madrid.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/marquee.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/maxfour.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mike.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mini.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mirror.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/mnemonic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/morse.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/moscow.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj-fancy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj-underlined.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nancyj.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/nipples.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ntgreek.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/o8.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ogre.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pawp.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/peaks.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pebbles.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pepper.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/poison.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/puffy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/pyramid.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rectangles.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/relief.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/relief2.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rev.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/roman.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rot13.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rounded.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rowancap.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/rozzo.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/runic.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/runyc.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/sblood.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/script.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/serifcap.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/shadow.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/short.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slant.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slide.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/slscript.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/small.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smisome1.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smkeyboard.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smscript.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smshadow.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smslant.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/smtengwar.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/speed.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stampatello.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/standard.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/starwars.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stellar.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/stop.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/straight.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tanja.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tengwar.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/term.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/thick.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/thin.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/threepoint.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ticks.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/ticksslant.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tinker-toy.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tombstone.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/trek.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/tsalagi.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/twopoint.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/usaflag.flf
-http://www.figlet.org/fonts/weird.flf
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/files/fortunelist.txt b/vilebot/files/fortunelist.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 29751c8f..00000000
--- a/vilebot/files/fortunelist.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,839 +0,0 @@
-Today it's up to you to create the peacefulness you long for
-A friend asks only for your time not your money
-If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it
-A smile is your passport into the hearts of others
-A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food
-Your high-minded principles spell success
-Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now
-Change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better
-Enjoy the good luck a companion brings you
-People are naturally attracted to you
-Hidden in a valley beside an open stream- This will be the type of place where you will find your dream
-A chance meeting opens new doors to success and friendship
-You learn from your mistakes
-What ever you're goal is in life, embrace it visualize it, and for it will be yours
-Your shoes will make you happy today
-You cannot love life until you live the life you love
-Be on the lookout for coming events; They cast their shadows beforehand
-Land is always on the mind of a flying bird
-The man or woman you desire feels the same about you
-Meeting adversity well is the source of your strength
-A dream you have will come true
-Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds
-Never give up
-You will become great if you believe in yourself
-There is no greater pleasure than seeing your loved ones prosper
-You will marry your lover
-A very attractive person has a message for you
-You already know the answer to the questions lingering inside your head
-It is now, and in this world, that we must live
-You must try, or hate yourself for not trying
-You can make your own happiness
-The greatest risk is not taking one
-The love of your life is stepping into your planet this summer
-Love can last a lifetime, if you want it to
-Adversity is the parent of virtue
-Serious trouble will bypass you
-A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessings to share
-Now is the time to try something new
-Wealth awaits you very soon
-If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions
-Keep your eye out for someone special
-You are very talented in many ways
-A stranger, is a friend you have not spoken to yet
-A new voyage will fill your life with untold memories
-You will travel to many exotic places in your lifetime
-Your ability for accomplishment will follow with success
-Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing
-Its amazing how much good you can do if you dont care who gets the credit
-Everyone agrees
-LIFE CONSIST NOT IN HOLDING GOOD CARDS, BUT IN PLAYING THOSE YOU HOLD WELL
-It's better to be alone sometimes
-Let the deeds speak
-You will be called in to fulfill a position of high honor and responsibility
-The man on the top of the mountain did not fall there
-You will conquer obstacles to achieve success
-Joys are often the shadows, cast by sorrows
-Fortune favors the brave
-An upward movement initiated in time can counteract fate
-A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
-Sometimes you just need to lay on the floor
-Never give up
-If you have something worth fighting for, then fight for it
-Stop wishing
-Accept your past without regrets
-Stay true to those who would do the same for you
-Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow
-Happiness is an activity
-Help is always needed but not always appreciated
-Hone your competitive instincts
-Finish your work on hand don't be greedy
-For success today, look first to yourself
-Your fortune is as sweet as a cookie
-Integrity is the essence of everything successful
-If you're happy, you're successful
-Believing that you are beautiful will make you appear beautiful to others around you
-Happinees comes from a good life
-Before trying to please others think of what makes you happy
-When hungry, order more Chinese food
-Your golden opportunity is coming shortly
-For hate is never conquered by hate
-You will make many changes before settling down happily
-A man is born to live and not prepare to live
-You cannot become rich except by enriching others
-Don't pursue happiness - create it
-You will be successful in love
-All your fingers can't be of the same length
-Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away
-A lifetime of happiness is in store for you
-It is very possible that you will achieve greatness in your lifetime
-Be tactful; overlook your own opportunity
-You are the controller of your destiny
-Everything happens for a reson
-How can you have a beutiful ending without making beautiful mistakes
-You can open doors with your charm and patience
-Welcome the change coming into your life
-There will be a happy romance for you shortly
-Your fondest dream will come true within this year
-You have a deep interest in all that is artistic
-Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive
-A letter of great importance may reach you any day now
-Good health will be yours for a long time
-You will become better acquainted with a coworker
-To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid
-Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently
-Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching
-Conquer your fears or they will conquer you
-You are a lover of words; One day you will write a book
-In this life it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich
-Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow
-Seek out the significance of your problem at this time
-Never upset the driver of the car you're in; they're the master of your destiny until you get home
-He who slithers among the ground is not always a foe
-You learn from your mistakes, you will learn a lot today
-You only need look to your own reflection for inspiration
-You are not judged by your efforts you put in; you are judged on your performance
-Rivers need springs
-Good news from afar may bring you a welcome visitor
-When all else seems to fail, smile for today and just love someone
-Patience is a virtue, unless its against a brick wall
-When you look down, all you see is dirt, so keep looking up
-If you are afraid to shake the dice, you will never throw a six
-Even if the person who appears most wrong, is also quite often right
-A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study
-Happiness is often a rebound from hard work
-The world may be your oyster, but that doesn't mean you'll get it's pearl
-Your life will be filled with magical moments
-You're true love will show himself to you under the moonlight
-Do not follow where the path may lead
-The object of your desire comes closer
-You have a flair for adding a fanciful dimension to any story
-The most useless energy is trying to change what and who God so carefully created
-You will have unexpected great good luck
-All progress occurs because people dare to be different
-Your ability for accomplishment will be followed by success
-The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms
-Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle
-We can't help everyone
-Every day is a new day
-It is not necessary to show others you have change; the change will be obvious
-You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music
-If your desires are not extravagant, they will be rewarded
-You try hard, never to fail
-Never give up on someone that you don't go a day without thinking about
-It never pays to kick a skunk
-In case of fire, keep calm, pay bill and run
-Next full moon brings an enchanting evening
-Not all closed eye is sleeping nor open eye is seeing
-Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools
-You will soon witness a miracle
-The time is alway right to do what is right
-Love is as necessary to human beings as food and shelter
-You will make heads turn
-You are extremely loved
-If you are never patient, you will never get anything done
-You will soon embark on a business venture
-You believe in the goodness of man kind
-You will have a long and wealthy life
-You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away
-You are a person of culture
-Keep it simple
-Life is like a dogsled team
-Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them
-Nothing seems impossible to you
-Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet
-The only certainty is that nothing is certain
-Success is the sum of my unique visions realized by the sweat of perseverance
-When you expect your opponent to yield, you also should avoid hurting him
-Human evolution: &ldquo;wider freeway" but narrower viewpoints
-Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence
-Back away from individuals who are impulsive
-Enjoyed the meal? Buy one to go too
-You believe in the goodness of mankind
-A big fortune will descend upon you this year
-Now these three remain, faith, hope, and love
-For success today look first to yourself
-Determination is the wake-up call to the human will
-There are no limitations to the mind except those we aknowledge
-A merry heart does good like a medicine
-Whenever possible, keep it simple
-Your dearest wish will come true
-Poverty is no disgrace
-If you don&rsquo;t do it excellently, don&rsquo;t do it at all
-You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly
-Emotion is energy in motion
-You will soon be honored by someone you respect
-Punctuality is the politeness of kings and the duty of gentle people everywhere
-Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life
-Elegant surroundings will soon be yours
-If you feel you are right, stand firmly by your convictions
-Your smile brings happiness to everyone you meet
-Instead of worrying and agonizing, move ahead constructively
-Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded
-A new business venture is on the horizon
-Never underestimate the power of the human touch
-Hold on to the past but eventually, let the times go and keep the memories into the present
-Truth is an unpopular subject
-The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn&rsquo;t being said
-You are broad minded and socially active
-Your dearest dream is coming true
-You will recieve some high prize or award
-Your present question marks are going to succeed
-You have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life
-You will live long and enjoy life
-An admirer is concealing his/her affection for you
-A wish is what makes life happen when you dream of rose petals
-Love can turn cottage into a golden palace
-Lend your money and lose your freind
-You will kiss your crush ohhh lalahh
-You will be rewarded for being a good listener in the next week
-If you never give up on love, It will never give up on you
-Unleash your life force
-Your wish will come true
-There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you
-No distance is too far, if two hearts are tied together
-Land is always in the mind of the flying birds
-Try? No! Do or do not, there is no try
-Do not worry, you will have great peace
-It's about time you asked that special someone on a date
-You create your own stage 
-It is never too late
-Discover the power within yourself
-Good things take time
-Stop thinking about the road not taken and pave over the one you did
-Put your unhappiness aside
-You can still love what you can not have in life
-Make a wise choice everyday
-Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself
-The man who waits till tomorrow, misses the opportunities of today
-Life does not get better by chance
-If you never expect anything you can never be disappointed
-People in your surroundings will be more cooperative than usual
-True wisdom is found in happiness
-Ones always regrets what could have done
-Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were once only walls
-Find a peaceful place where you can make plans for the future
-All the water in the world can't sink a ship unless it gets inside
-The earth is a school learn in it
-In music, one must think with his heart and feel with his brain
-If you speak honestly, everyone will listen
-Ganerosity will repay itself sooner than you imagine
-Do what is right, not what you should
-To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement
-Simplicity and clearity should be the theme in your dress
-Virtuous find joy while Wrongdoers find grieve in their actions
-Not all closed eye is sleeping, nor open eye is seeing
-Bread today is better than cake tomorrow
-In evrything there is a piece of truth
-A feeling is an idea with roots
-It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach
-Everything will be ok
-The finest men like the finest steels have been tempered in the hottest furnace
-The worst of friends may become the best of enemies, but you will always find yourself hanging on
-Let your fantasies unwind
-Don't lead if you won't lead
-Share your hapiness with others today
-It's up to you to clearify
-Your future will be happy and productive
-Seize every second of your life and savor it
-Those who walk in other's tracks leave no footprints
-Failure is the mother of all success
-Difficulty at the beginning useually means ease at the end
-Do not seek so much to find the answer as much as to understand the question better
-Your way of doing what other people do their way is what makes you special
-A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life
-Friendship is an ocean that you cannot see bottom
-Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change
-Our duty,as men and women,is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist
-A pleasant expeience is ahead:don't pass it by
-They say you are stubborn; you call it persistence
-Two small jumps are sometimes better than one big leap
-A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life
-The cure for grief is motion
-I hear and I forget
-I have a dream
-A human being is a deciding being
-Today is an ideal time to water your parsonal garden
-Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies
-Things are never quite the way they seem
-YOUR FAILURES WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS
-IN ORDER TO GET THE RAINBOW, YOU MUST ENDURE THE RAIN
-Beauty is simply beauty
-Your dream will come true when you least expect it
-Let not your hand be stretched out to receive and shut when you should repay
-Don't worry, half the people you know are below average
-Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others
-You don't need talent to gain experience
-A focused mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe
-Today you shed your last tear
-Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got build in one day
-Think you can
-Wisdom is on her way to you
-Digital circuits are made from analog parts
-If you eat a box of fortune cookies, anything is possible
-The best is yet to come
-I'm with you
-Be direct,usually one can accomplish more that way
-A single kind work will keep one warm for years
-Ask a friend to join you on your next voyage
-In God we trust
-Love is free
-Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you
-You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
-Jealousy is a useless emotion
-You are not a ghost
-There is someone rather annoying in your life that you need to listen to
-You will plant the smallest seed and it will become the greatest and most mighty tree in the world
-The dream you've been dreaming all your life isn't worth it
-See if you can learn anything from the children
-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
-Aim high, time flies
-One is not sleeping, does not mean they are awake
-A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you can't
-Your father still loves and is in always with you
-Before you can be reborn you must die
-It better to be the hammer than the nail
-You are admired by everyone for your talent and ability
-Save the whales
-You will soon discover a major truth about the one you love most
-Your life will prosper only if you acknowledge your faults and work to reduce them
-Pray to God, but row towards shore
-You will soon witness a miracle
-Help, I'm being held prisoner in a  Chinese cookie factory
-Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else&rsquo;s water lily
-You are a persoon with a good sense of justice, now it's time to act like it
-You create enthusiasm around you
-There are big changes ahead for you
-You will have many happy days soon
-Out of confusion comes new patterns
-If you love someone enough and they break your heart, you can't stop yourself from still loving them again even after all that pain
-Look right
-Live like you are on the bottom, even if you are on the top
-You will soon emerge victorious from the maze you've been traveling in
-Do not judge a book by it's color
-Everything will come your way
-There is a time to be practical now
-Bend the rod while it is still hot
-Darkness is only succesful when there is no light
-Acting is not lying
-You will be forced to face fear, but if you do not run, fear will be afraid of you
-You are thinking about doing something
-Love Conquers all
-The phrase is follow your dreams
-stop nagging to your partner and take it day by day
-Do not think that me or my brothers have supreme control over what will happen to you
-Bad luck and misfortune will follow you all your days
-Remember the fate of the early Worm
-Begin your life anew with strength, grace and wonder
-Be a good friend and a fair enemy
-What goes around comes around
-Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity
-Use the force
-Trust your intuition
-Encourage your peers
-Let your imagination wander
-Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding
-Patience is key, a wait short or long will have its reward
-Tell them before it's too late
-Be assertive when decisive action is needed
-To determine whether someone is beautiful is not by looking at his/her appearance, but his/her heart
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-While you have this day, fill it with life
-Even though it will often be difficult and complicated, you know you have what it takes to get it done
-You can choose, right now and in every moment, to put your powerful and effective abilities to purposeful use
-IT IS NOT GOOD TO BE A USER BLESSINGS COME FROM BEING A GIVER NOT A TAKER
-You will prosper in the field of wacky inventions
-Your tongue is your ambassador
-The cure for grief is movement
-Love Is At Your Hands Be Glad And Hold On To It
-You are often asked if it is in yet
-Life to you is a bold and dashing responsibility
-Patience is a key to joy
-A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist
-Stay to your inner-self, you will benefit in many ways
-Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together as they do in you
-You are talented in many ways
-You are the master of every situation
-Your problem just got bigger
-If your cookie still in one piece, buy lotto
-Go with the flow will make your transition ever so much easier
-A metaphor could save your life
-There are lessons to be learned by listening to others
-If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain
-Volition, Strength, Languages, Freedom and Power rests in you
-It takes more than a good memory to have good memories
-Word to the wise: Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn
-Forgive your enemies, but never forget them
-Don't worry about the stock market
-Your fortune is as sweet as a cookie
-Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you
-Get off to a new start - come out of your shell
-Cooperate with those who have both know how and integrith
-Minor aches today are likely to pay off handsomely tomorrow
-You are about to become $8
-Your mouth may be moving, but nobody is listening
-The problem with resisting temptation is that it may never come again
-All your sorrows will vanish
-About time I got out of that cookie
-Love will lead the way
-It is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it
-Soon, a visitor shall delight you
-What breaks in a moment may take years to mend
-Someone stole your fortune and replaced it with this one
-You will be rewarded for your patience and understanding
-You will achieve all your desires and pleasures
-Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut
-Nothing Shows A Man's Character More Than What He Laughs At
-Never regret anything that made you smile
-Love Takes Pratice
-Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does
-At this very moment you can change the rest of your life
-Become who you are
-All comes at the proper time to him who knows how to wait
-The energy is within you
-The quotes that you do not understand, are not meant for you
-You have an important new business development shaping up
-Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues
-Benefit by doing things that others give up on
-Rest has a peaceful effect on your physical and emotional health
-One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears--by listening to them
-Plan your work and work your plan
-Over self-confidence is equal to being blind
-Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves
-Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos
-Old friends make best friends
-Stop searching forever
-Accept something that you cannot change, and you will feel better
-Kiss is not a kiss without the heart
-Enhance your karma by engaging in various charitable activities
-You will have good luck and overcome many hardships
-You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems
-Hope is like food
-WHEN FIRE AND WATER GO TO WAR WATER ALWAYS WINS
-An angry man opens his mouth and shuts up his eyes
-Make the system work for you, not the other way around
-You will be hungry soon, order takeout now
-Be prepared for extra energy
-An unexpected relationship will become permanent
-The love of your life is sitting across from you
-Better be the head of a chicken than the tail of an ox
-To forgive others one more time is to create one more blessing for yourself
-Enjoy yourself while you can
-The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands
-Excellence is the difference between what I do and what I am capable of
-Do not let what you do not have prevent you from using what you do have
-What ends on hope does not end at all
-People enjoy having you around
-You are admired for your adventuous ways
-You are blessed, today is the day to bless others
-The Greatest War Sometimes Isn't On The Battlefield But Against Oneself
-People in your background will be more co-operative than usual
-A good way to stay healthy is to eat more Chinese food
-Anyone who dares to be, can never be weak
-Affirm it, visualize it, believe it, and it`will actualize itself
-The measure of time to your next goal is the measure of your discipline
-Take a minute and let it ride, then take a minute to let it breeze
-We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other
-To affirm is to make firm
-Remember this: duct tape can fix anything, so don't worry about messing things up
-Failure is not defeat until you stop trying
-The days that make us happy make us wise
-Men do not fail
-Time may fly by
-You will win success in whatever you adopt
-You will outdistance all your competitors
-Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing
-When you get something for nothing, you just haven't been billed for it yet
-You will discover your hidden talents
-You'll advance for with your abilities
-When you can't naturally feel upbeat it can sometimes help you to act as if you did
-You will overcome difficult times
-Your problem just became your stepping stone
-I am a fortune
-The majority of the word "can't" is can
-The secret of getting ahead is getting started
-Be most affectionate today
-Change your thoughts and you change the world
-Sing and rejoice, fortune is smiling on you
-A truly great person never puts away the simplicity of a child
-Customer service is like taking a bath you have to keep doing it
-The expanse of your intelligence is a void no universe could ever fill
-Those grapes you cannot taste are always sour
-An unexpected aquaintance will resurface
-If you want the rainbow, then you have to tolerate the rain
-You don't get harmony when everyone sings the same note
-The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running
-The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
-The best things in life aren't things
-Don't bother looking for fault
-Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it
-Nothing is as good or bad as it appears
-Never cut what you can untie
-Meet your opponent half way
-Laughter is the shortest distance between two people
-We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails
-We could learn a lot from crayons: Some of are sharp, some are pretty, some have weird names, and all are different colors
-Use your instincts now
-If you take a single step to your journey, you'll succeed; it's not best to fail
-In the eyes of lovers, everything is beautiful
-Warning, do not eat your fortune
-Demonstrate refinement in everything you do
-Impossible standards just make life difficult
-A different world cannot be build by indifferent people
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-All troubles you have can pass away very quickly
-Integrity is the essense of everything successful
-Sometimes the object of the journey is not the end, but the journey itself
-Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment
-The food here taste so good, even a cave man likes it
-Perhaps you've been focusing too much on spending
-Happiness isn't something you remember, it's something you experience
-Oops
-The dream is within you
-Love is on its way
-Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that way
-Use your talents
-The troubles you have now will pass away quickly
-See the light at the end of the tunnel
-Your dream will come true when you least expect it
-Don't 'face' reality, let it be the place from which you leap
-Fortune smiles upon you today
-Believing is doing
-Your dynamic eyes have attracted a secret admirer
-You know where you are going and how to get there
-Go confidently in the direction of your dreams
-Your ability to pick a winner will bring you success
-Humor usually works at the moment of awkwardness
-A good time to finish up old tasks
-Enthusiastic leadership gets you a promotion when you least expect it
-You love Chinese food
-You are far more influential than you think
-Adjust finances, make budgets, to improve your standing
-Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it
-An understanding heart warms all that are graced with it's presense
-Your co-workers take pleasure in your great sense of creativity
-You are one of the people who "goes places in life
-Others enjoy your company
-When in doubt, let your instincts guide you
-A cheerful message is on its way to you
-A pleasant surprise is in store for you tonight
-To courageously shoulder the responsibility of one's mistake is character
-The joyful energy of the day will have a positive affect on you
-You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first
-Dogs have owners, cats have staff
-Be patient: in time, even an egg will walk
-You are not a person who can be ignored
-You always know the right times to be assertive or to simply wait
-Reading to the mind is what exercise is to the body
-Eat something you never tried before
-You need to live authentically, and you can't ignore that
-Make all you can, save all you can, give all you can
-A well-aimed spear is worth three
-To build a better world, start in your community
-When you can't naturally feel upbeat, it can sometimes help to act a if you did
-May you have great luck
-A kind word will keep someone warm for years
-Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion
-Human invented language to satisfy the need to complain
-Accept what comes to you each day
-A small lucky package is on its way to you soon
-In human endeavor, chance favors the prepared mind
-Do not upset the penguin today
-Don't cry
-The best way to give credit is to give it away
-Anything you do, do it well
-It takes more then good memory to have good memories
-Grant yourself a wish this year only you can do it
-You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments
-There are many new opportunities that are being presented to you
-You will inherit a large sum of money
-You will recieve a gift from someone that cares about you
-You are not illiterate
-Love because it is the only true adventure
-Keep true to the dreams of your youth
-Treasure what you have
-The greatest precept is continual awareness
-A new friend helps you break out of an old routine
-I have a dream
-Your skill will accomplish what the force of many cannot
-You will soon be surrounded by good friends and laughter
-The best is yet to come
-It is better to be the hammer then the anvil
-He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step
-Action speaks nothing, without the Motive
-Give yourself some peace and quiet for at least a few hours
-Old dreams never die they just get filed away
-You can fix it with a little extra energy and a positive attitude
-A man without aim is like a clock without hands, as useless if it turns as if it stands
-Many folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be
-You should be able to make money and hold on to it
-The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it
-Your succeess will astonish everyone
-It is better to have a hen tomorrow than an egg today
-Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant
-You like Chinese food
-Your hard work will get payoff today
-No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future
-Your secret desire to completely change your life will manifest
-Soon you will be sitting on top of the world
-You are never selfish with your advice or your help
-A thrilling time is in store for you
-It's tough to be fascinating
-Luck sometimes visits a fool, but it never sits down with him
-Keep your plans secret for now
-Traveling this year will bring your life into greater perspective
-Only talent people get help  from others
-Constant grinding can turn an iron nod into a needle
-When you're about to turn your heart into a stone remember: you do not walk alone
-You are vigorous in words and action
-The one who snores will always fall asleep first
-Rest is a good thing, but boredom is its brother
-Do not be overly judgemental of your loved one's intentions or actions
-Think of how you can assist on a problem, not who to blame
-The life of every woman or man - the heart of it - is pure and holy joy
-Trust your intuition
-Use your head, but live in your heart
-Your passions sweep you away
-Think of mother's exhortations more
-The gambler is like the fisherman both have beginners luck
-You are given the chance to take part in an exciting adventure
-The simplest answer is to act
-You will always be surrounded by true friends
-Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you
-You are the man of righteousness and integrity
-He who seeks will find
-The smart thing to do is to begin trusting your intuitions
-Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you
-Pick a path with heart
-The human spirit is stronger then anything that can happen to it
-It takes more than good memory to have good memories
-Face facts with dignity
-Be calm when confronting an emergency crisis
-Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded
-A new wardrobe brings great joy and change in your life
-Everyone agrees you are the best
-A new outlook brightens your image and brings new friends
-Everything will now come your way
-You will be called to fill a position of high honor and responsibility
-The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people
-Good beginning is half done
-Some pursue happiness; you create it
-It's the worst of times, you need to summon your optimism
-You are cautious in showing your true self to others
-Your ability to accomplish tasks will follow with success
-We all have extraordinary coded within us, waiting to be released
-You will have a bright future
-Compassion is a way of being
-You will always have good luck in your personal affairs
-Perhaps you've been focusing too much on that one thing
-Right now there's an energy pushing you in a new direction
-Everybody feels lucky for having you as a friend
-When the moment comes, take  the top one
-Sometimes travel to new places leads to great transformation
-There is always a way - if you are committed
-Life is too short to waste time hating anyone
-All the world may not love a lover but they will be watching him
-Don't just spend time, invest it
-Life  always gets harder near the summit
-Take the chance while you still have the choice
-It is much easier to be cirtical than to be correct
-Enjoy life! It is better to be happy than wise
-To make the cart go, you must grease the wheels
-You are contemplating some action which will bring credit upon you
-You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try
-You will always get what you want through your charm and personality
-The big issues are work, career, or status right now
-Your emotional currents are flowing powerfully now
-Any decision you have to make tomorrow is a good decsion
-Consume less
-The secret of staying young is good health and lying about your age
-Spring has sprung
-Go ask your mom
-The possibility of a career change is near
-The important thing is to never stop questioning
-Compassion will cure more then condemnation
-Excuses are easy to manufacture, and hard to sell
-Put your mind into planning today
-Broke is only temporaryl poor is a state of mind
-Here we go
-Teamwork: the fuel that allows common people attain uncommon results
-Hard words break no bones, fine words butter no parsnips
-We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails
-You are offered the dream of a lifetime
-Working out the kinks today will make for a better tomorrow
-You have a curious smile and a mysterious nature
-Questions provide the key to unlocking our unlimited potential
-You will enjoy razon-sharp spiritual vision today
-Well-arranged time is the surest sign of a well-arranged mind
-Never bring unhappy feelings into your home
-This is really a lovely day
-Bad luck and ill misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity
-A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month
-You are very grateful for the small pleasures of life
-today you should be a passenger
-For hate is never conquered by hate
-Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this planet
-Good clothes open many doors
-The leader seeks to communicate his vision to his followers
-Great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance
-Present your best ideas today to an eager and welcoming audience
-Friends long absent are coming back to you
-The time is right to make new friends
-You may be hungry soon: order a takeout now
-Do not hesitate to look for help, an extra hand should always be welcomed
-What's vice today may be virtue tomorow
-You have an unusually magnetic personality
-You will travel to many places
-Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become
-You have a quiet and unobtrusive nature
-Great thoughts come from the heart
-Judge not according to the appearance
-One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes
-Traveling more often is important for your health and happiness
-You have a reputation for being straightforward and honest
-You are always welcome in any gathering
-You will be traveling and coming into a fortune
-Open up your heart - it can always be closed again
-Being happy is not always being perfect
-Next time you have the opportunity, go on a rollercoaster
-Try everything once, even the things you don't think you will like
-Life is too short to hold grudges
-Dream your dream and your dream will dream of you
-Being alone and being lonely are two different things
-Don't worry about things in the past, there is nothing you can do about them now
-Tomorrow, take a moment to do something just for yourself
-Someone close to you is waiting for you to call
-A virtual fortune cookie will not satisfy your hunger like that of a home made one
-Smile
-You can never been certain of success, but you can be certain of failure if you never try
-It takes ten times as many muscles to frown as it does to smile
-Shoot for the moon! If you miss you will still be amongst the stars
-Keep your eyes open
-Tell them what you really think
-Let your heart make your decisions - it does not get as confused as your head
-Working hard will make you live a happy life
-A pleasant surprise is waiting for you
-If you have something good in your life, don't let it go!
-If winter comes, can spring be far behind?
-Jealousy doesn't open doors, it closes them!
-When fear hurts you, conquer it and defeat it! 
-You will always be surrounded by true friends
-Do not fear what you don't know
-If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words
-Do not be covered in sadness or be fooled in happiness they both must exist
-You will have a pleasant surprise
-Express yourself: Don't hold back!
-good things take time
-Man is born to live and not prepare to live
-If you don t give something, you will  not get anything
-The harder you try to not be like your parents, the more likely you will become them
-Someday everything will all make perfect sense
-you will think for yourself when you stop letting others think for you
-Let's finish this up now, someone is waiting for you on that
-A dream you have will come true
-I think, you ate your fortune while you were eating your cookie
-If u love someone keep fighting for them
-Do what you want, when you want, and you will be rewarded
-The cooler you think you are the dumber you look
-Expect great things and great things will come
-The Wheel of Good Fortune is finally turning in your direction!
-You will always be successful in your professional career
-Our perception and attitude toward any situation will determine the outcome
-It's a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to the waiter
-Ideas you believe are absurd ultimately lead to success!
-the project on your mind will soon gain momentum
-It's Never Too Late For Good Things To Happen!
-Isn't there something else you should be working on right now?
-The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
-Your worst enemy has a crush on you!
-The best prophet of the future is the past
-Movies have pause buttons, friends do not
-A bird in the hand is worth three in the bush!!
-Hope brings about a better future
-Cookie says, "You crack me up"
-Today is going to be a disasterous day, be prepared!
-Tomorrow Morning,Take a Left Turn As Soon As You Leave Home
-Don't wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it
-TOO MANY PEOPLE VOLUNTEER TO CARRY THE STOOL WHEN ITS TIME TO MOVE THE PIANO
-You are what you are; understand yourself before you react
-Everything will now come your way
-It is much easier to look for the bad, than it is to find the good
-If a person who has caused you pain and suffering has brought you, reconsider that person's value in your life
-You are worth loving, you are also worth the effort it takes to love you
-Life is a dancefloor,you are the DJ!
-Focus in on the color yellow tomorrow for good luck!
-The ads revenge is massive success
-Take control of your life rather than letting things happen just like that!
-You've got what it takes, but it will take everything you've got!
-if love someone a lot tell it before it's too late
-Love or money, or neither?
-It's never crowded along the "extra mile"
-Help, I'm prisoner in a Chinese bakery!!!
-If everybody is a worm you should be a glow worm
-You broke my cookie!
-You have a great capability to break cookies - use it wisely!
-AT TIMES IT IS BETTER TO KNOW WHEN EXIT THAN ENTER
-All the preparation you've done will finally be paying off!
-For true love? Send real roses preserved in 24kt gold!
-Stop procrastinating - starting tomorrow
-you cant go down the right path with out first discovering the path to go down
-Your life becomes more and more of an adventure!
-love thy neighbour, just don't get caught
-You  are  contemplating  some  action  which will bring credit upon you
-Live each day well and wisely
-Life is a verb
-It's kind of fun to do the impossible
-Wow! A secret message from you teeth!
-Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday
-There are no shortcuts to any place worth going
-Soon life will become more interesting
-Aren't you glad you just had a great meal?
-You will be successful in your work
-you will spend old age in confort and material wealth
-I am a bad luck person since I was born
-An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly!
-Take it easy
-Don't find fault, find a remedy
-It may be those who do most, dream most
-Listen to yourself more often
-The pleasure of what we enjoy is lost by wanting more
-Did you remember to order your take out also?
-Before you wonder "Am I doing things right," ask "Am I doing the right things?"
-Listen to life, and you will hear the voice of life crying, Be!
-The wise are aware of their treasure, while fools follow their vanity
-People who are late are often happier than those who have to wait for them
-Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure
-How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes?
-Humor is an affirmation of dignity
-He who climbs a ladder must begin at the first step
-"Accept yourself"
-"Be a generous friend and a fair enemy"
-Never quit!
-Old friends, old wines and old gold are best
-If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted
-Every Friend Joys in your Success
-You should be able to undertake and complete anything
-You will enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury
-You are a person of strong sense of duty
-You love peace
-You will be sharing great news with all people you love
diff --git a/vilebot/files/inspirationsindex.txt b/vilebot/files/inspirationsindex.txt
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-9476
-9480
-9486
-9489
-9493
-9496
-9499
-9502
-9506
-9510
-9513
-9517
-9520
-9525
-9528
-9532
-9535
-9539
-9542
-9546
-9549
-9554
-9558
-9562
-9566
-9570
-9575
-9579
-9582
-9586
-9591
-9595
-9599
-9602
-9606
-9610
-9613
-9617
-9620
-9624
-9627
-9631
-9635
-9638
-9641
-9646
-9650
-9653
-9656
-9659
-9663
-9667
-9671
-9674
-9677
-9680
-9683
-9688
-9693
-9698
-9701
-9704
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-9713
-9717
-9720
-9724
-9730
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-9754
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-9772
diff --git a/vilebot/files/inspirationslist.txt b/vilebot/files/inspirationslist.txt
deleted file mode 100644
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--- a/vilebot/files/inspirationslist.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,9775 +0,0 @@
-"... the educated person is not the person who can answer the questions, but
-the person who can question the answers."
-        ― Theodore Schick Jr., in The_Skeptical_Inquirer, March/April, 1997
-%
-"A little fire, Scarecrow?"
-%
-"A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of
-being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of
-incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague
-assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents
-and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of
-dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of
-annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was
-unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place."
-        ― IEEE Grid newsmagazine
-%
-"Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing."
-%
-"Anchovies? You've got the wrong man! I spell my name DANGER! (click)"
-%
-"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence."
-        ― Time Bandits
-%
-"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds
-himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous
-resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their
-ignorance the hard way."
-        ― Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
-%
-"But I don't like Spam!"
-%
-"But this has taken us far afield from interface, which is not a bad place
-to be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge. Why do
-people have so much trouble understanding the kludge? What is a kludge,
-after all, but not enough Ks, not enough ROMs, not enough RAMs, poor
-quality interface and too few bytes to go around? Have I explained yet
-about the bytes?"
-%
-"Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle."
-        ― Alice Roosevelt Longworth
-%
-"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be; and
-if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
-%
-"Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason so simple
-and so basic that we often forget to mention it: because it is false, and
-because good teachers understand exactly why it is false. What could be
-more destructive of that most fragile yet most precious commodity in our
-entire intellectual heritage ― good teaching ― than a bill forcing
-honorable teachers to sully their sacred trust by granting equal treatment
-to a doctrine not only known to be false, but calculated to undermine any
-general understanding of science as an enterprise?
-        ― Stephen Jay Gould, "The Skeptical Inquirer", Vol. 12, page 186
-%
-"Deep" is a word like "theory" or "semantic" ― it implies all sorts of
-marvelous things. It's one thing to be able to say "I've got a theory",
-quite another to say "I've got a semantic theory", but, ah, those who can
-claim "I've got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.
-        ― Randy Davis
-%
-"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
-%
-"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a
-conventional thing to happen to him."
-        ― John Barrymore's dying words
-%
-"Do not stop to ask what is it;
- Let us go and make our visit."
-        ― T. S. Eliot, "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
-%
-"Do you have blacks, too?"
-        ― George W. Bush, to Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso;
-           Washington, D.C., November 8, 2001
-%
-"Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash."
-        ― Bo Diddley
-%
-"Don't say yes until I finish talking."
-        ― Darryl F. Zanuck
-%
-"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
-%
-"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."
-        ― Jeff Berner
-%
-"Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral."
-        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
-%
-"Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it."
-%
-"Grub first, then ethics."
-        ― Bertolt Brecht
-%
-"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech."
-        ― Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush
-           wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be
-           no loss of wetlands
-%
-"He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes..."
-%
-"He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."
-%
-"His mind is like a steel trap ― full of mice."
-        ― Foghorn Leghorn
-%
-"Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse."
-        ― William Gilbert
-%
-"I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!"
-        ― Paul McCracken
-%
-"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."
-        ― English Professor
-%
-"I didn't accept it. I received it."
-        ― Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan,
-           explaining the $1000 in cash and two watches he was given by
-           two Japanese journalists after he helped arrange a private
-           interview for them with First Lady Nancy Reagan.
-%
-"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."
-        ― Boss Tweed
-%
-"I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem."
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked
-at in the right way, did not become still more complicated."
-        ― Paul Anderson
-%
-"I just need enough to tide me over until I need more."
-        ― Bill Hoest
-%
-"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially
-members of the House and members of the Senate."
-        ― former Vice-President Dan Quayle
-%
-"I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes."
-        ― President Richard Nixon
-%
-"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."
-%
-"If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?"
-%
-"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"
-        ― "Ma" Ferguson, Governor of Texas (circa 1920)
-%
-"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
-        ― J. Paul Getty
-%
-"If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
-make the rubble bounce."
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-"In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable."
-        ― Winston Churchill, of Montgomery
-%
-"It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out.
-They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their
-heads in a nodding position."
-        ― John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information,
-           responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission
-           inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were
-           sleeping on the job.
-%
-"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
-lightly greased."
-        ― Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
-%
-"It was hell," recalls former child.
-        ― caption to a B. Kliban cartoon
-%
-"It's bad luck to be superstitious."
-        ― Andrew W. Mathis
-%
-"It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either."
-        ― Kevin White, mayor of Boston
-%
-"Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune
- to bullets"
-        ― The Brigader, "Dr. Who"
-%
-"Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
-        ― Victor Borge
-%
-"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into
-the smallest amount of thoughts."
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-"Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!"
-%
-"Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you
-out of Casablanca and the Germans have outlawed miracles."
-%
-"Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong."
-%
-"Of COURSE it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?"
-%
-"One planet is all you get."
-%
-"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."
-        ― Gypsy Rose Lee
-%
-"Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have
-taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an
-excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature."
-        ― Samuel Johnson
-%
-"Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly."
-%
-"Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something
-else anyway."
-        ― Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane
-%
-"Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
-one which cannot be justified on any other grounds."
-        ― J. Finnegan, USC.
-%
-"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
-%
-"The C Programming Language: A language which combines the flexibility of
-assembly language with the power of assembly language."
-%
-"The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as
-we could with both of them."
-        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
-%
-The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
-%
-"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell
-into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him
-out again, it would be a calamity."
-        ― Benjamin Disraeli
-%
-The brain is a beautifully engineered get-out-of-the-way machine that
-constantly scans the environment for things out of whose way it should
-right now get. That's what brains did for several hundred million years ―
-and then, just a few million years ago, the mammalian brain learned a new
-trick: to predict the timing and location of dangers before they actually
-happened.
-
-Our ability to duck that which is not yet coming is one of the brain's most
-stunning innovations, and we wouldn't have dental floss or 401(k) plans
-without it. But this innovation is in the early stages of development. The
-application that allows us to respond to visible baseballs is ancient and
-reliable, but the add-on utility that allows us to respond to threats that
-loom in an unseen future is still in beta testing.
-        ― Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University,
-           in an op-ed piece in the Los Angeles Times; 6 July, 2006
-%
-"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer."
-        ― Henry Kissinger
-%
-"The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and
-tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exaulted activity will
-have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy ... neither its pipes nor
-its theories will hold water."
-%
-"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up!"
-%
-"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who
-make them unsafe."
-        ― the late Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and ex- mayor of
-           Philadelphia
-%
-The voters have spoken, the bastards...
-%
-"The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity
-that would be clearly understood."
-        ― Alexander Haig
-%
-The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start
-with a large fortune.
-%
-"There are three possibilities: Pioneer's solar panel has turned away
-from the sun; there's a large meteor blocking transmission; or someone
-loaded Star Trek 3.2 into our video processor."
-%
-"There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the
-other is to read Pope."
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."
-        ― C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
-%
-"They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits."
-        ― Congressman Joe Early (D-Mass) at a press conference to answer
-           questions about the House Bank scandal.
-%
-This is a country where people are free to practice their religion,
-regardless of race, creed, color, obesity, or number of dangling keys...
-%
-"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question ... or is it?
-%
-"Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name."
-        ― Gore Vidal
-%
-"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's just the opposite."
-        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
-%
-"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company."
-%
-"We don't have to protect the environment ― the Second Coming is at hand."
-        ― James Watt
-%
-"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
-hands for masturbation."
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-"We'll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later."
-%
-"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what CAN
-you believe?!"
-        ― Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]
-%
-"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?"
-        ― Bertold Brecht
-%
-"When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical."
-        ― Jon Carroll
-%
-"When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite."
-        ― Winston Churchill, on formal declarations of war
-%
-"Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked. "Begin at the
-beginning," the King said, gravely, "and go on till you come to the end:
-then stop."
-        ― Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
-%
-"Why be a man, when you can be a success?"
-        ― Bertold Brecht
-%
-"Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?"
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-"Why was I born with such contemporaries?"
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
-
-"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
-        ― Lewis Carrol
-%
-"Yacc" owes much to a most stimulating collection of users, who have goaded
-me beyond my inclination, and frequently beyond my ability in their endless
-search for "one more feature". Their irritating unwillingness to learn how
-to do things my way has usually led to my doing things their way; most of
-the time, they have been right.
-        ― S. C. Johnson, "Yacc guide acknowledgements"
-%
-"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the
-White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."
-        ― Woody Allen, "Sleeper"
-%
-"Yes, well, that's just the sort of blinkered, Philistine pig-ignorance I've
-come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome
-spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the
-struggling artist, you excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies with your
-Tony Jacklin golf clubs, your colour TVs and your bleedin' Masonic handshakes!
-You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards?! WELL I
-WOULDN'T BECOME A FREEMASON NOW IF YOU GOT DOWN ON YOUR LOUSY STINKING KNEES
-AND BEGGED ME!"
-%
-"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."
-        ― Dagwood Bumstead
-%
-"You'll never be the man your mother was!"
-%
-$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
-which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
-        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
-%
-'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.
-        ― George Bernard Shaw
-%
-'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
-        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson
-%
-[Humanity] is the measure of all things.
-        ― Protagoras
-%
-... And malt does more than Milton can/To justify God's ways to man
-        ― A. E. Housman
-%
-An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders
-a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The
-bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.
-%
-Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months
-might as well have been written by someone else.
-        ― Eagleson's Law
-%
-Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.
-%
-... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand. Human
-intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as we
-can tell. If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues that now
-seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding of their
-world, not in their distorted perceptions. Even the standard example of
-ancient nonsense ― the debate about angels on pinheads ― makes sense once
-you realize that theologians were not discussing whether five or eighteen
-would fit, but whether a pin could house a finite or an infinite number.
-        ― S. J. Gould, "Wide Hats and Narrow Minds"
-%
-... Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
-the person making the claim, not the critic. It is not the responsibility
-of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
-responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
-or colored lights never healed anyone. The skeptic's role is to point out
-claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
-provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
-the accepted body of scientific evidence. ...
-        ― Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, pg. 215
-%
-... Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror,
-and you would not have been informed.
-%
-... The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks
-attempts to expose sham paranormal studies; and (2) it is very well and
-plausibly written and so rather harder to dismiss or refute by simple
-jeering.
-        ― Harry Eagar, reviewing "Beyond the Quantum" by Michael Talbot,
-           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 200-201
-%
-The first principle is that you must not fool yourself―and you are the
-easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After
-you've not fooled yourself, it's easy not to fool other scientists. You
-just have to be honest in a conventional way after that.
-        ― R. P. Feynman, "Cargo Cult Science"
-%
-... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
-        ― J. B. White
-%
-... if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,
-this would be a better world.
-        ― Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days"
-%
-... the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost would never throw the Devil out
-of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge.
-        ― Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19
-%
-... they [the Indians] are not running but are coming on.
-        ― note sent from Lt. Col Custer to other officers
-           of the 7th Regiment at the Little Bighorn
-%
-...I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and
-concern to be different, the African apes would be included in our family,
-the Hominidae.
-        ― Richard Leakey
-%
-... It is sad to find him belaboring the science community for its united
-opposition to ignorant creationists who want teachers and textbooks to give
-equal time to crank arguments that have advanced not a step beyond the
-flyblown rhetoric of Bishop Wilberforce and William Jennings Bryan.
-        ― Martin Gardner, "Irving Kristol and the Facts of Life",
-           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 128-131
-%
-...computer hardware progress is so fast. No other technology since
-civilization began has seen six orders of magnitude in performance-price
-gain in 30 years.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-...difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects
-perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity
-attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the
-introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned;
-yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson, "Notes on Virginia"
-%
-...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
-existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
-systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
-hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
-        ― Sidney Hook
-%
-...skill such as yours is evidence of a misspent youth.
-        ― Herbert Spencer
-%
-...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality
-tools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.
-        ― M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague
-%
-...there can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is
-the practice of truth.
-        ― George Jacob Holyoake
-%
-...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six
-million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch."
-        ― The Firesign Theater
-%
-...though his invention worked superbly ― his theory was a crock of sewage
-from beginning to end.
-        ― Vernor Vinge, "The Peace War"
-%
-...when fits of creativity run strong, more than one programmer or writer has
-been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
-%
-10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
-%
-36 percent of the American public believes that boiling radioactive milk
-makes it safe to drink.
-        ― results of a survey by Jon Miller at Northern Illinois University
-%
-43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr
-fortune: Segmentation fault ― core dumped
-%
-80 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot, including this one.
-%
-99% of all guys are within one standard deviation of your mom.
-%
-A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
-%
-A bore is a man you deprives you of solitude without providing you with
-company.
-        ― Gian Vincenzo Gravina
-%
-A Nixon [is preferable to] a Dean Rusk ― who will be passionately
-wrong with a high sense of consistency.
-        ― J. K. Galbraith
-%
-A Puritan is someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is
-having fun.
-%
-A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
-responsibility at the other.
-%
-A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman
-out of a divorce.
-        ― Don Quinn
-%
-A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
-        ― Everett Dirksen
-%
-A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
-enlightened him with ours.
-%
-A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as
-afterward.
-%
-A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
-poor to protect them from each other.
-%
-A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.
-%
-A child's education should begin at least 100 years before he is born.
-        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes
-%
-A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
-        ― Herbert Prochnow
-%
-A clash of doctrine is not a disaster ― it is an opportunity.
-%
-A closed mouth gathers no foot.
-%
-A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
-%
-A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing,
-but together can decide that nothing can be done.
-        ― Fred Allen
-%
-A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for
-the first time.
-        ― Alfred E. Wiggam
-%
-A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never
-learned to walk.
-        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
-%
-A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
-%
-A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
-        ― Ben Franklin
-%
-A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
-        ― Channing Pollock
-%
-A day without sunshine is like night.
-%
-A decision occurs when one abandons the obvious for the possible.
-        ― P. Taylor
-%
-A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
-%
-A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you
-will look forward to the trip.
-        ― Caskie Stinnett
-%
-A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never her age.
-        ― Robert Frost
-%
-A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...
-%
-A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-        ― Ogden Nash
-%
-A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox
-1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to
-help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse,
-and asked "what do you see?" Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied "I
-see a cursor." The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back
-of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the
-head with a thick Interlisp Manual. The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.
-%
-A fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-A fool must now and then be right by chance.
-%
-A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into
-superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
-        ― G. B. Shaw
-%
-A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
-        ― Samuel Johnson
-%
-A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
-        ― D. Gries
-%
-A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows
-something.
-        ― Wilson Mizner
-%
-A good memory does not equal pale ink.
-%
-A good workman is known by his tools.
-%
-A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
-rearranging their prejudices.
-        ― William James
-%
-A handful of friends is worth more than a wagon of gold.
-%
-A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his weight
-in other people's patience.
-        ― John Updike
-%
-A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
-%
-A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
-%
-A king's castle is his home.
-%
-A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
-%
-A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming is
-not worth knowing.
-%
-A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program
-in than some that do.
-        ― Dennis M. Ritchie
-%
-A large number of installed systems work by fiat. That is, they work
-by being declared to work.
-        ― Anatol Holt
-%
-A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that
-thing you just did? Don't do that."
-        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
-%
-A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
-        ― Bismarck
-%
-A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems
-have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,
-those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are
-the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers. Consider Unix,
-APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them
-with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I
-believe everything positively stinks.
-        ― Lew Col
-%
-A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
-%
-A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-        ― John Barrymore
-%
-A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
-%
-A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"
-
-"However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a
-sense of obligation."
-        ― Stephen Crane
-%
-A man shall never be enriched by envy.
-        ― Thomas Draxe
-%
-A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
-%
-A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
-%
-A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
-%
-A manager would rather live with a problem that he cannot solve than
-accept a solution that he does not understand.
-        ― G. Woolsey
-%
-A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
-%
-A mathematician named Hall
-Has a hexahedronical ball,
-        And the cube of its weight
-        Times his pecker's, plus eight
-Is his phone number ― give him a call.
-%
-A model is an artifice for helping you convince yourself that you
-understand more about a system than you do.
-%
-A moose once bit my sister.
-%
-A morsel of genuine history is a thing so rare as to be always valuable.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
-%
-A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.
-%
-A penny saved is ridiculous.
-%
-A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
-%
-A person who knows only one side of a question knows little of that.
-%
-A person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two watches is
-never sure.  Proverb
-%
-A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
-        ― George Wald
-%
-A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
-%
-A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
-%
-A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
-your wife will give you for free.
-%
-A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party; there is no battle
-unless there be two.
-        ― Seneca
-%
-A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices
-that the system works.
-%
-A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and
-the real reason.
-%
-A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen
-objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer
-scientists. Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added
-concentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three
-dimensional objects ...
-%
-A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
-        ― Ramsey Clark
-%
-A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following
-a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
-        - Jack Benny
-%
-A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
-        ― Samuel Johnson
-%
-A sine curve goes off into infinity or at least to the end of the blackboard.
-%
-A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
-        ― Victor Borge
-%
-A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
-        ― O'Henry
-%
-A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an
-exam.
-%
-A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by
-its author.
-        ― S. C. Johnson
-%
-A thing is worth precisely what it can do for you, not what you choose to
-pay for it.
-        ― John Ruskin
-%
-A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
-and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
-%
-A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
-in students.
-        ― John Ciardi
-%
-A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
-replaces it with.
-        ― Tenessee Williams
-%
-A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
-%
-A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
-%
-A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
-getting nervous.
-%
-A well-known friend is a treasure.
-%
-A witty saying proves nothing.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-%
-A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
-%
-Ada, n.: Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in
-computing. Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop an Ada
-awareness."
-%
-Abandon hope, all ye who press "ENTER" here.
-%
-Ability is useless unless it is used.
-        ― Robert Half
-%
-About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.
-%
-About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
-%
-About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
-        ― Herbert Hoover
-%
-Above all things, reverence yourself.
-%
-Abstention makes the heart grow fonder.
-%
-Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own
-opinion.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
-body is better.
-%
-According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
-        ― Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
-%
-According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally
-worthless.
-%
-According to my scuba instructor, if a shark attacks, you're supposed to
-poke it in the eye with your finger. After that, I suppose you should hit
-it in the face with a cream pie, or maybe hose it down with a seltzer bottle.
-        ― Jerry L. Embry
-%
-Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.
-%
-Accuracy: The vice of being right.
-%
-Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not
-well enough to lend to.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
-%
-Activity makes more men's fortunes than cautiousness.
-        ― Marquis de Vauvenargues
-%
-Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
-%
-Ada is the work of an architect, not a computer scientist.
-        ― Jean Ichbiah, inventor of Ada, weenie
-%
-Adapt. Enjoy. Survive.
-%
-Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit.
-[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
-        ― Ovid
-%
-Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
-%
-Adore, v.: To venerate expectantly.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Adult: One old enough to know better.
-%
-Adversity makes men, prosperity monsters.
-        ― French Proverb
-%
-Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to
-get money from it.
-        ― Stephen Leacock
-%
-After Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
-        ― Freeman Dyson
-%
-After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
-%
-After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.
-%
-After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not
-for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have
-simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
-        ― P. J. O'Rourke
-%
-After any machine or unit has been assembled, extra components will be
-found on the bench.
-        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil
-           & Refining Company., Houston, TX
-%
-After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover,
-it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
-%
-After winning the pennant one year, Casey Stengel commented, "I couldn'ta
-done it without my players."
-%
-Air is water with holes in it.
-%
-Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
-        ― Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed
-%
-Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire
-telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New
-York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And
-radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive
-them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
-%
-Alexander Graham Bell is alive and well in New York, and still waiting for a
-dial tone.
-%
-Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
-%
-Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of
-them keeps paying for it.
-        ― Peggy Joyce
-%
-All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
-%
-All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
-%
-All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
-ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
-        ― Kingfish
-%
-All a hacker needs is a tight PUSHJ, a loose pair of UUOs, and a warm
-place to shift.
-%
-All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
-%
-All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy in its own way.
-        ― Tolstoy
-%
-All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
-%
-All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
-        ― Jane Wagner
-%
-All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially attracts
-those who believe in happy endings and fairy godmothers. Perhaps the hundreds
-of nitty frustrations drive away all but those who habitually focus on the end
-goal. Perhaps it is merely that computers are young, programmers are younger,
-and the young are always optimists. But however the selection process works,
-the result is indisputable: "This time it will surely run," or "I just found
-the last bug."
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
-%
-All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of
-every organism to live beyond its income.
-        ― Samuel Butler
-%
-All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
-        ― E. Rutherford
-%
-All that glitters has a high refractive index.
-%
-All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-        ― Sean O'Casey
-%
-All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
-%
-All through human history, tyrannies have tried to enforce obedience by
-prohibiting disrespect for the symbols of their power. The swastika is
-only one example of many in recent history.
-        ― American Bar Association task force on flag burning
-%
-All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
-%
-All wise men share one trait in common: the ability to listen.
-%
-Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
-%
-Alliance, n.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have
-their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot
-separately plunder a third.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Although every American has a sense of humor―it is his birthright and
-encoded somewhere in the Constitution―few Americans have never been able to
-cope with wit or irony, and even the simplest jokes often cause unease,
-especially today when every phrase must be examined for covert sexism,
-racism, ageism.
-        ― Gore Vidal, "The Essential Mencken," The Nation,
-           August 26/September 2, 1991.
-%
-Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
-%
-Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.
-        ― Alfred Hitchcock 
-%
-Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a
-left.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
-        ― Charlie McCarthy
-%
-America had often been discovered before Columbus; it had just been hushed up.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-America's best buy for a quarter is a telephone call to the right man.
-%
-America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
-        ― Allen Ginsberg
-%
-American Non Sequitur Society: We don't make sense. We like pizza.
-%
-Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
-%
-Among the chosen, you are the lucky one.
-%
-Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
-%
-An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but
-is always polite to traffic cops.
-%
-An Army travels on its stomach.
-%
-An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
-        ― A. P. Herbert
-%
-An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-        ― Alfred A. Knopf
-%
-An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
-%
-An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
-%
-An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
-%
-An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
-%
-An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
-        ― Albert Camus
-%
-An NT server can be run by an idiot, and usually is.
-        - Tom Holub <doosh@best.com>
-          (Posted to comp.infosystems.www.servers.unix on 03 Sep 1997)
-%
-An object never serves the same function as its image―or its name.
-        ― Rene Magritte
-%
-An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin
-%
-Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no
-government at all.
-%
-Anarchy: It's not the law, it's just a good idea.
-%
-And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
-%
-And now for something completely different.
-%
-And now that the legislators and the do-gooders have so futilely inflicted
-so many systems upon society, may they end up where they should have begun:
-may they reject all systems, and try liberty...
-        ― Frederic Bastiat
-%
-And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
-%
-And the Lord God said unto Moses ― and correctly, I believe ...
-        ― Field Marshal Montgomery, opening a chapel service
-%
-And the crowd was stilled. One elderly man, wondering at the sudden silence,
-turned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said. Wide-eyed,
-the Child raised his voice and said once again, "Why, the Emperor has no
-clothes! He is naked!"
-        ― "The Emperor's New Clothes"
-%
-And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
-%
-And they told us, what they wanted...
-Was a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance.
-        ― Kate Bush
-%
-And this is a table ma'am. What in essence it consists of is a horizontal
-rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,
-which we call legs. The tables in this laboratory, ma'am, are as advanced
-in design as one will find anywhere in the world.
-        ― Michael Frayn, "The Tin Men"
-%
-And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that
-cometh out of man, in their sight...Then he [the Lord!] said unto me, Lo, I
-have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread
-therewith. [Ezek. 4:12-15 (KJV)]
-%
-Anger is a prelude to courage.
-        ― Eric Hoffer
-%
-Angular momentum makes the world go round.
-%
-Ankh if you love Isis.
-%
-Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently
-slippery.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
-%
-Another one bites the dust.
-%
-Anthony's Law of Force: Do not force it; get a larger hammer.
-%
-Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the
-    least accessible corner of the workshop.
-Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike
-    your toes.
-%
-Antimatter doesn't matter as a matter of fact.
-        ― Piggins
-%
-Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur
-ad necem. (In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on
-windswept crags.)
-%
-Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
-%
-Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
-        ― Charles McCabe
-%
-Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
-        ― Aesop
-%
-Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.
-%
-Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to
-sell it.
-%
-Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
-%
-Any job worth quitting is worth sticking around long enough until they
-fire you.
-        ― Tim Wirth
-%
-Any medium powerful enough to extend man's reach is powerful enough to topple
-his world. To get the medium's magic to work for one's aims rather than
-against them is to attain literacy.
-        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
-%
-Any shrine is better than self-worship.
-%
-Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a
-larger object.
-%
-Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
-%
-Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic.
-        ― Arthur C. Clarke
-%
-Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-%
-Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.
-        ― Paul Chvostek by way of Arthur C. Clarke (via John Ripley)
-%
-Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
-        ― Andy Finkel, computer guy
-%
-Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-        ― Arthur C. Clarke
-%
-Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.
-        ― Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
-%
-Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
-%
-Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
-        ― John Williamson
-%
-Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
-        ― Publilius Syrus
-%
-Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a
-tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes
-in the house.
-        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
-%
-Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,
-recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one
-particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
-        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
-%
-Anyone who wants to be paid for writing software is a fascist asshole.
-        ― Richard M. Stallman, founder, Free Software Foundation
-%
-Anything anybody can say about America is true.
-        ― Emmett Grogan
-%
-Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
-%
-Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
-%
-Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the
-price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW"
-means the price went way up.
-%
-Anything worth doing is worth overdoing
-%
-Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
-%
-Arbolist . . . Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway,
-it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees.
-        ― George W. Bush, quoted in USA Today; August 21, 2001
-%
-Are we not men?
-%
-Are you a turtle?
-%
-Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
-        ― Mickey Mouse
-%
-Armadillo: To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
-%
-army, n.: A body of men assembled to rectify the mistakes of the diplomats.
-        ― Josephus Daniels
-%
-Army Axiom: An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
-%
-Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
-    (1) If it should exist, it doesn't.
-    (2) If it does exist, it's out of date.
-    (3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws.
-%
-Art is parasitic on life, just as criticism is parasitic on art.
-        ― Harry S Truman (one of his more ridiculous comments)
-%
-As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."
-%
-As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
-%
-As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
-        ― Weisert
-%
-As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
-%
-As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
-%
-As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
-When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the
-active power of the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in
-the masculine sex; while the production of a woman comes from defect in the
-active power.
-        ― Thomas Aquinas, prominent historical misogynist
-%
-As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't
-as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be
-discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large
-part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in
-my own programs.
-        ― Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949
-%
-As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" ― probably because it's
-so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
-bearing hot new versions of their pieces ― faster, smaller, more complete,
-or putatively less buggy. The replacement of a working component by a new
-version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
-component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
-efficient test cases will usually be available.
-        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
-%
-As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
-is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-As to Jesus of Nazareth...I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
-as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
-but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have,
-with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
-divinity.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin
-%
-As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple
-memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
-to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
-E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
-        ― Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
-%
-As you read the scroll it vanishes,
-and you hear maniacal laughter in the distance.
-%
-Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, If God won't have you, the devil must.
-%
-Ask not for whom the telephone bell tolls ... if thou art in the bathtub,
-it tolls for thee.
-%
-Ask your boss to reconsider ― it's so difficult to take "Go to hell"
-for an answer.
-%
-Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the
-country, it would probably fly around in circles.
-        ― Pat Paulsen
-%
-At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial
-challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
-        ― The Washington Post Magazine, June 9, 1985
-%
-At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los Angeles
-fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head under the
-exhaust of a bus until he revived.
-%
-At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on
-the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is
-quite untrue in practice. Disciplined thinking focuses inspiration rather
-than blinkers it.
-        ― G. L. Glegg, The Design of Design
-%
-At the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly
-contradictory attitudes ― an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre
-or counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny
-of all ideas, old and new. This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep
-nonsense. Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the
-world, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism: The collective
-enterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the
-field on track.
-        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,
-           February 1, 1987
-%
-At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will
-find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on
-the computer.
-%
-Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
-purely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the
-old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth.
-        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
-%
-Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-Auribus teneo lupum. (I hold a wolf by the ears.)
-%
-Automobile, n.: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.
-%
-Automobile: A four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians.
-%
-Average managers are concerned with methods, opinions, precedents.
-Good managers are concerned with solving problems.
-%
-Avoid Quiet and Placid persons unless you are in Need of Sleep.
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-Avoid letting temper block progress; keep cool.
-        ― William Feather
-%
-Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
-%
-Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.
-%
-Bagdikian's Observation:
-        Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American
-        newspaper is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion"
-        on a ukelele.
-%
-Bad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend
-Stompin' down the avenue by Radio City
-With a transistor and a large sum of money to spend.
-        ― Steely Dan
-%
-Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
-        A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides
-        by governors.
-%
-Barth's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people
-into two types, and those who don't.
-%
-Basic, n.: A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in
-           that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
-%
-Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most Souls would scarcely get
-your Feet wet. Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your face.
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
-%
-Be different: conform.
-%
-Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original
-in your work.
-        ― Gustave Flaubert
-%
-Be seeing you.
-%
-Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
-%
-Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
-%
-Bees are not as busy as we think they are; they just cannot buzz any slower.
-        ― Abe Martin
-%
-Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
-        ― Louis Brandeis
-%
-Behold the warranty: The bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
-%
-Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and
-receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is
-already in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking
-and richer male friend.
-%
-Being stoned on marijuana isn't very different from being stoned on gin.
-        ― Ralph Nader
-%
-Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: The moment you have worked out an answer,
-start checking it―it probably isn't right.
-%
-Corollary 1 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Always let an answer cool
-off for awhile―it should not be used while hot.
-%
-Corollary 2 to Berkeley's First Law of Mistakes: Check the answer you have
-worked out once more―before you tell it to anybody.
-%
-Berkeley's Second Law of Mistakes: If there is an opportunity to make a
-mistake, sooner or later, the mistake will be made.
-%
-Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.
-%
-Between the choice of two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before.
-        ― Mae West
-%
-Between the legs of the women walking by, the dadaists imagined a monkey
-wrench and the surrealists a crystal cup. That's lost.
-        ― Ivan Chtcheglov
-%
-Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.
-        ― Donald Knuth
-%
-Beware of Geeks bearing grifts.
-%
-Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-        ― Leonard Brandwein
-%
-Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
-%
-Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
-%
-Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
-%
-Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
-%
-Beware of low-flying butterflies.
-%
-Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but
-nothing of interest is easy.
-%
-Beware the new TTY code!
-%
-Biggest security gap - an open mouth.
-%
-Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise,
-and you'll be Gary, Indiana. - Jessie in the movie "Greaser's Palace"
-%
-Biography is the fallacy of intention.
-        ― Peter Taylor
-%
-Biology ... it grows on you.
-%
-Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic
-%
-Black holes are where God is dividing by zero.
-%
-Blah.
-%
-Bleeding into a new computer is always a good thing; it's an ancient geek
-voodoo magic to ensure its long life and reliability.
-        ― from Mike Taht's blog, http://the-edge.blogspot.com/
-%
-Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
-%
-Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
-%
-Blessed is the man who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to
-worry at night.
-        ― Leo Aikman
-%
-Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
-%
-Board the windows, up your car insurance, and don't leave any booze in
-plain sight. It's St. Patrick's day in Chicago again. The legend has it
-that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. In fact, he was arrested
-for drunk driving. The snakes left because people kept throwing up on
-them.
-%
-Boling's postulate: If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
-%
-Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom:
-        Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so
-        vividly manifests their lack of progress.
-%
-Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-%
-Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them
-seemed to come from Texas.
-        ― Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"
-%
-Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.
-%
-Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Boren's Laws:
-        (1) When in charge, ponder.
-        (2) When in trouble, delegate.
-        (3) When in doubt, mumble.
-%
-Boss, n.:
-        According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages
-the words "boss" and "botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss,
-in addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an
-ornamental stud."
-%
-Boston, n.:
-        Ludwig van Beethoven being jeered by 50,000 sports fans for
-        finishing second in the Irish jig competition.
-%
-Boy, n.:
-        A noise with dirt on it.
-%
-Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
-committee. that will do them in.
-%
-Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
-committee. That will do them in.
-%
-Brady's First Law of Problem Solving: When confronted by a difficult
-problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How
-would the Lone Ranger have handled this?"
-%
-Brain fried ― core dumped
-%
-Brain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]:
-        To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source of
-error in an opponent.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
-%
-Bringing computers into the home won't change either one, but may
-revitalize the corner saloon.
-%
-Broad-mindedness: The result of flattening high-mindedness out.
-%
-Brook's Law:
-        Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
-%
-Brooke's Law:
-        Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool
-        discovers something which either abolishes the system or
-        expands it beyond recognition.
-%
-Bubble Memory, n.:
-        A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
-        intelligence. See also "vacuum tube".
-%
-Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
-%
-Bug: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
-%
-Bumper Sticker: Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
-%
-Bumper sticker on nuclear war: if you have seen one, you have seen them all.
-%
-Bunk Carter's Law: At any given moment there are more important people in
-the world than important jobs to contain them.
-%
-Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
-        ― Balzac
-%
-Bureaucrat, n.: A politician who has tenure.
-%
-Bureaucrats cut read tape ― length-wise.
-%
-Burnt Sienna: That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
-        ― Ken Weaver
-%
-Business will be either better or worse.
-        ― Calvin Coolidge
-%
-But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the
-system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed,
-analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses.
-        ― Bruce Leverett, "Register Allocation in Optimizing Compilers"
-%
-By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
-overwhelm me.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task
-completely overwhelm you.
-%
-By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
-designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.
-        ― P. J. Plauger, from his April Fool's column in the April 1988
-           issue of "Computer Language"
-%
-By one count there are some 700 scientists with respectable academic
-credentials (out of a total of 480,000 U.S. earth and life scientists) who
-give credence to creation-science, the general theory that complex life
-forms did not evolve but appeared "abruptly."
-        ― Newsweek, June 29, 1987, pg. 23
-%
-C, n.: A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like
-assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else.
-It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.
-        ― Ray Simard
-%
-C++ : Where friends have access to your private members.
-        ― Gavin Russell Baker
-%
-CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
-        ― Randall Garrett
-%
-Cabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as
-a man's head.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise
-as a man's head.
-%
-Caeca invidia est. (Envy is blind.)
-        ― Livy
-%
-Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
-%
-California is a fine place to live ― if you happen to be an orange.
-        ― Fred Allen
-%
-California is the ghost of Christmas future for the rest of America.
-        ― anonymous post to an Internet forum
-%
-California is the land of perpetual pubescence, where cultural lag is
-mistaken for renaissance.
-        ― Ashley Montagu
-%
-Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-        ― Indian proverb
-%
-Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?
-%
-Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun.
-%
-Cannot fork ― try again.
-%
-Cannot fortune open database.
-%
-Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time,
-and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool Mom.
-%
-Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than
-expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to
-complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their
-planning to reduce the time it takes.
-%
-Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
-        The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
-dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
-putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.
-%
-Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk
-with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point
-with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe
-years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their
-habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing
-this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Change is what people fear most.
-        ― Dostoevski
-%
-Change your thoughts and you change your world.
-%
-Character Density: the number of very weird people in the office.
-%
-Character is the ligament holding together all other qualities.
-        ― Arnold Glasow
-%
-Chemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
-%
-Chicken Little was right.
-%
-Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort
-to teach them good manners.
-%
-Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
-And that's what parents were created for.
-        ― Ogden Nash
-%
-Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely,
-if ever, do they forgive them.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Children have more need of models than of critics.
-%
-Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
-word what you shouldn't have said.
-%
-Chism's Law of Completion:
-        The amount of time required to complete a government project is
-        precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
-%
-Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:
-        When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
-%
-Civilisation is the art of living in towns of such size that everyone does
-not know everyone else.
-        ― Julian Jaynes
-%
-Civilization Law #1: Civilization advances by extending the number of
-important operations one can do without thinking about them.
-%
-Civilization is a movement, not a condition; it is a voyage, not a harbor.
-        ― Toynbee
-%
-Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy.
-        ― Howard Roark, in Ayn Rand's _The Fountainhead_
-%
-[Classical music] would be a lot more popular if they gave the pieces titles
-like "Kill the Wabbit."
-        ― Mark Fetherolf.
-%
-Classified material requires proper storage.
-%
-Cleanliness is next to impossible.
-%
-Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum ―
-"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Cogito ergo doleo. (I think, therefore I am depressed.)
-%
-Cogito ergo sum.
-%
-Cohen's Law: Everyone knows that the name of the game is what label you
-succeed in imposing on the facts.
-%
-Collaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption
-that the other fellow can spell.
-%
-College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-        ― Hellen Keller
-%
-Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
-%
-Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million
-typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.
-        ― Blair Houghton
-%
-Commitment, n.: Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and
-eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
-%
-Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.
-        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge
-%
-Complacency is the enemy of progress.
-        ― Dave Stutman
-%
-Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
-%
-Computer Science: the boring art of coping with a large number of trivialities
-(The Devil's DP Dictionary)
-%
-Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to
-make the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable.
-As in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If
-we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for
-personal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing
-a part of our lives?
-        ― Alan Kay, "Computer Software", Scientific American, September 1984
-%
-Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-        ― LaRouchefoucauld
-%
-Concept, n.: Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than
-$25,000.
-%
-Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one
-mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
-        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
-%
-Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is
-good for dandruff.
-        ― Peter de Vries
-%
-Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
-%
-Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!
-        ― Ben Jonson
-%
-Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!
-%
-Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
-%
-Conservative, n.: One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
-        ― Leo C. Rosten
-%
-Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then
-give it back to them.
-%
-Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.
-        ― Brian W. Kernighan
-%
-Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his
-breath is called the listener.
-%
-Conway's Law: Any piece of software reflects the organizational structure
-that produced it.
-%
-Coronation, n.: The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and
-visible signs of his divine right to be blown sky-high with a dynamite bomb.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit
-without individual responsibility.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Corripe Cervisiam!
-%
-Corrupt, adj.: In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.
-%
-Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job
-is to enforce the law and fight crime.
-        ― P.B.A. President E. J. Kiernan
-%
-Courage is grace under pressure.
-%
-Coward, n.: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with
-nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
-        ― Wernher von Braun
-%
-Creativity cannot be diminished by the medium of expression.
-        ― Mitch Allen
-%
-Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you dreamt up
-after being drunk all night.
-        ― Isaac Asimov
-%
-Creditors have better memories than debtors.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1758)
-%
-Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
-        ― A. E. Newman
-%
-Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital
-to form a corporation.
-        ― Howard Scott
-%
-Critic, n.: A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries
-to please him.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his
-pace with beating.
-        ― Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 1
-%
-Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
-%
-Cynic, n.: A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not
-as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking
-out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Cynic, n.: One who looks through rose-colored glasses with a jaundiced eye.
-%
-Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward,
-they may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
-        ― J. W. von Goethe
-%
-Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-De Borglie rules the wave, but Heisenberg waived the rules.
-        ― Piggins
-%
-Dealing with failure is easy: work hard to improve. Success is also easy to
-handle: you've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.
-%
-Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
-%
-Death is Nature's way of recycling human beings.
-%
-Death is Nature's way of saying, "slow down".
-%
-Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
-        ― R. Geis
-%
-Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
-%
-Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged
-about forever.
-        ― button at the Boston Computer Museum
-%
-Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.
-Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are―by
-definition―not smart enough to debug it.
-        ― Brian Kernighan
-%
-Decisionmaker, n.: The person in your office who was unable to form a task
-force before the music stopped.
-
-%
-Decisions of the judges will be final unless shouted down by a really
-overwhelming majority of the crowd present. Abusive and obscene language
-may not be used by contestants when addressing members of the judging
-panel, or, conversely, by members of the judging panel when addressing
-contestants (unless struck by a boomerang).
-        ― Mudgeeraba Creek Emu-Riding and Boomerang-Throwing Association
-%
-Decisions terminate panic.
-%
-Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it
-is buttered on.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder
-aloud what the country could do under first-class management.
-        ― Senator Soaper
-%
-Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
-incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
-        ― G. B. Shaw
-%
-Democracy is four wolves and a lamb, voting on what to have for lunch.
-%
-Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people
-are right more than half of the time.
-        ― E. B. White
-%
-Denniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment.
-%
-Deprive a mirror of its silver, and even the Czar won't see his face.
-%
-Der Unterschied zwischen Genie und Wahnsinn liegt nur im Erfolg.
-[The only difference between genius and insanity is the success.]
-%
-Did I forget to mention, forget to mention Memphis?
-Home of Elvis and the ancient Greeks.
-Do I smell? I smell home cooking.
-It's only the river, it's only the river.
-        ― Talking Heads (Cities)
-%
-Did you know gullible is not in the dictionary?
-%
-Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
-%
-Digital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:
-They have very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
-and testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states
-than computers do.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term.
-Velocity, for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.
-%
-Diplomacy is the art of extricating oneself from a situation that tact
-would have prevented in the first place.
-%
-Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
-%
-Disc space ― the final frontier!
-%
-Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
-%
-Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking what no
-one else has thought.
-        ― Albert Szent-Gyorgi
-%
-Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Do not allow this language (Ada) in its present state to be used in
-applications where reliability is critical, i.e., nuclear power stations,
-cruise missiles, early warning systems, anti-ballistic missle defense
-systems. The next rocket to go astray as a result of a programming language
-error may not be an exploratory space rocket on a harmless trip to Venus:
-It may be a nuclear warhead exploding over one of our cities. An unreliable
-programming language generating unreliable programs constitutes a far
-greater risk to our environment and to our society than unsafe cars, toxic
-pesticides, or accidents at nuclear power stations.
-        ― C. A. R. Hoare
-%
-Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
-%
-Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
-%
-Do not compromise yourself; you are all you have got.
-        ― Janis Joplin
-%
-Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
-%
-Do not try to solve all life's problems at once ― learn to dread each
-day as it comes.
-        ― Donald Kaul
-%
-Do not underestimate the value of print statements for debugging.
-Don't have aesthetic convulsions when using them, either.
-%
-Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take
-the time to take the dirt out of them?
-%
-Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and
-when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
-        ― Dick Brandon
-%
-Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must
-be good because the programmers hate it so much.
-%
-Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
-%
-Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
-%
-Don't comment bad code: rewrite it.
-%
-Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
-%
-Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
-%
-Don't diddle code to make it faster, find a better algorithm.
-%
-Dobbin's Law: When in doubt, use a bigger hammer.
-%
-Don't get suckered in by the comments ― they can be terribly misleading.
-Debug only code.
-        ― Dave Storer
-%
-Don't knock President Fillmore. He kept us out of Vietnam.
-%
-Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade.
-%
-Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
-        ― Bo Diddley
-%
-Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
-%
-Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy
-it today you can do it again tomorrow.
-%
-Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
-        ― James J. Ling
-%
-Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free
-with my breakfast cereal.
-        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox
-%
-Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already
-tomorrow in Australia.
-        ― Charles Schultz
-%
-Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no
-control over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over,
-because you have control over them.
-        ― Mickey Rivers
-%
-Don't worry about what other people are thinking about you. They're too
-busy worrying about what you are thinking about them.
-%
-Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.
-        ― Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian
-%
-Doubts and jealousies often beget the facts they fear.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-Down with categorical imperative!
-%
-Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
-%
-Ducharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize
-yourself as part of the problem.
-%
-Ducharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
-%
-Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and
-it holds the universe together ...
-        ― Carl Zwanzig
-%
-Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders
-has been discontinued.
-%
-Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate
-and captain of your soul.
-%
-Dum excusare credis, accusas. (When you believe you are excusing yourself,
-you are accusing yourself.)
-        ― St. Jerome
-%
-Dunne's Law: The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with
-equivocation.
-%
-During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
-been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places,
-pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity;
-in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution.
-        ― James Madison
-%
-Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to
-have nothing whatever to do with it.
-        ― W. Somerset Maughm
-%
-E Pluribus Unix
-%
-Each honest calling, each walk of life, has its own elite, its own aristocracy
-based on excellence of performance.
-        ― James Bryant Conant
-%
-Each team building another component has been using the most recent tested
-version of the integrated system as a test bed for debugging its piece. Their
-work will be set back by having that test bed change under them. Of course it
-must. But the changes need to be quantized. Then each user has periods of
-productive stability, interrupted by bursts of test-bed change. This seems
-to be much less disruptive than a constant rippling and trembling.
-        ― Frederick Brooks Jr., "The Mythical Man Month"
-%
-Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
-        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
-%
-Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K.
-Galbraith ...
-        ― Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
-%
-Economy makes men independent.
-%
-Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish
-what is worth reading.
-        ― G. M. Trevelyan
-%
-Education helps earning capacity. Ask any college professor.
-%
-Een schip op het strand is een baken in zee.
-[A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.]
-        ― Dutch Proverb
-%
-Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak.
-        ― Bullwinkle Moose
-%
-Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
-        ― Adlai Stevenson
-%
-Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain
-of being a damned fool.
-        ― Bellamy Brooks
-%
-Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
-        ― Frank Leahy
-%
-Egotist, n.: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Ehrman's Commentary:
-        1. Things will get worse before they get better.
-        2. Who said things would get better?
-%
-Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.
-        ― Ronald Reagan, famous movie star
-%
-Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because
-God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software
-engineer.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-Either do not attempt at all, or go through with it.
-        ― Ovid
-%
-Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
-        ― Oscar Wilde's last words
-%
-Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.
-%
-Elevators smell different to midgets
-%
-Eloquence is vehement simplicity.
-        ― Cecil
-%
-Emersons' Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall
-make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
-%
-Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
-Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.
-        ― Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary
-%
-Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
-%
-Entropy isn't what it used to be.
-%
-Envy always implies conscious inferiority wherever it resides.
-        ― Pliny
-%
-Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which
-otherwise require harder thinking.
-        ― Jerome Lettvin
-%
-Equal bytes for women.
-%
-Eschew obfuscatory digressiveness.
-        ― Barry Dancis (1983)
-%
-Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-Ettore's observation: the other line moves faster.
-%
-Etymology, n.: Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that
-were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed
-from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy"
-("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."
-        ― Mike Kellen
-%
-Even a cabbage may look at a king.
-%
-Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
-%
-Even if you can deceive people about a product through misleading statements,
-sooner or later the product will speak for itself.
-        ― Hajime Karatsu
-%
-Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
-speak it to?
-        ― Clarence Darrow
-%
-Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
-%
-Even the future comes one day at a time.
-        ― W. Woodhouse
-%
-Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
-%
-Even though they raised the rate for first class mail in the United
-States we really shouldn't complain ― it's still only 2 cents a day.
-%
-Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you
-just how busy they are.
-%
-Ever wander around the web, look at discussions, totally agree with one of
-the points of view, and then notice it was posted under one of your web
-aliases 5 years ago?
-        ― Larry Weber
-%
-Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. Our problem is to find this woman
-and stop her.
-%
-Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):
-Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in
-front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an
-odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even
-and odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of
-legs. Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
-there is a horse that has a finite number of legs. But that is a horse
-of another color, and by the [above] lemma ["All horses are the same
-color"], that does not exist.
-%
-Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper .... everyone was
-eating paper and a policeman was at the door. Now all you have to do is
-bend a disk.
-        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,
-           commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their
-           movement
-%
-Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
-%
-Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
-%
-Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
-signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not
-fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not
-spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the
-genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way
-of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
-humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
-        ― Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953
-%
-Every institution I've ever been associated with has tried to screw me.
-        ― Stephen Wolfram
-%
-Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
-        ― Don Vonada
-%
-Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
-        ― Miguel de Cervantes
-%
-Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one
-instruction ― from which, by induction, one can deduce that every
-program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
-%
-Every program has two purposes ― one for which it was written and another
-for which it wasn't.
-%
-Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
-%
-Every purchase has its price.
-%
-Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
-%
-Every solution breeds new problems.
-%
-Every successful person has had failures, but repeated failure is no
-guarantee of eventual success.
-%
-Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
-        ― Beckett
-%
-Everything is better with no people.
-        ― Bob "Biff" Rendar
-%
-Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
-%
-Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,
-no one we know belongs.
-%
-Everything to excess! Moderation is for monks.
-        ― Lazarus Long
-%
-Everything you know is wrong.
-        ― The Firesign Theater
-%
-Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less
-obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no
-solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There
-are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight
-lines.
-        ― R. Buckminster Fuller
-%
-Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
-%
-Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.
-Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only
-atheists could accept this Satanic theory.
-        ― Rev. Jimmy Swaggart, "The Pre-Adamic Creation and Evolution"
-%
-Evolution does not require the nonexistence of God, it merely allows for
-it. That alone is enough to evoke condemnation from those who fear the
-nonexistence of God more than they fear God Himself.
-        ― Keith Doyle, in talk.origins
-%
-Evolution is both fact and theory. Creationism is neither.
-        ― Anonymous
-%
-Exactitude in small matters is the essence of discipline.
-%
-Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.
-%
-Excellent day to have a rotten day.
-%
-Excellent time to become a missing person.
-%
-Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
-acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
-        ― W. Somerset Maugham
-%
-Excessive login or logout messages are a sure sign of senility.
-%
-Excuse me while I change into something more formidable.
-%
-Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
-%
-Expense Accounts, n.: Corporate food stamps.
-%
-Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
-        ― Poor Richard's Almanac
-%
-Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
-        ― Olivier
-%
-Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when
-you make it again.
-        ― Franklin P. Jones
-%
-Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and
-the instructions afterward.
-%
-Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
-%
-Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
-%
-Extreme good-naturedness borders on weakness of character. Avoid it.
-%
-Extremes of fortune are fatal to folks of small dimensions.
-        ― Arnold Glasow
-%
-FLASH! Intelligence of mankind decreasing. Details at ... uh, when
-the little hand is on the ....
-%
-Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-%
-Facts are simple and facts are straight / Facts are lazy and facts are late.
-Facts all come with points of view / Facts don't do what I want them to.
-Facts just twist the truth around / Facts are living turned inside out.
-Facts are getting the best of them / Facts are nothing on the face of things.
-Facts don't stain the furniture / Facts go out and slam the door.
-Facts are written all over your face / Facts continue to change their shape.
-        ― Talking Heads
-%
-Failing to get them to do it your way might mean they're stupid, but it also
-means you failed to get them to do it your way.
-        ― Cal Keegan
-%
-Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
-%
-Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
-        ― Ferenc Mantfeld
-%
-Faire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait attendre,
-c'est pour mieux vous servir, et vous plaire.
-[Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better,
-and to please you.]
-        ― Menu of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans
-           [Also, what we're going to be telling our customers]
-%
-Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
-%
-Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in restraint.
-        ― Dave Sim, author of "Cerberus the Aardvark"
-%
-Familiarity breeds attempt
-%
-Familiarity breeds children.
-%
-Familiarity breeds contempt.
-%
-Families, when a child is born/Want it to be intelligent.
-I, through intelligence,/Having wrecked my whole life,
-Only hope the baby will prove/Ignorant and stupid.
-Then he will crown a tranquil life/By becoming a Cabinet Minister
-        ― Su Tung-p'o
-%
-Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your
-aim.
-        ― Santayana
-%
-Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters;
-united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.
-        ― Goya
-%
-Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though
-checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither
-enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows
-not victory or defeat.
-        ― Theodore Roosevelt
-%
-Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
-
-%
-Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
-every six months.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Felson's Law: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
-many is research.
-%
-Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
-%
-Field theories, unite!
-%
-Finagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
-%
-Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
-%
-Finagle's Second Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it
-only makes it worse.
-%
-Finding the occasional straw of truth awash in a great ocean of confusion and
-bamboozle requires intelligence, vigilance, dedication and courage. But if we
-don't practice these tough habits of thought, we cannot hope to solve the truly
-serious problems that face us ― and we risk becoming a nation of suckers, up
-for grabs by the next charlatan who comes along.
-        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection," Parade,
-           February 1, 1987
-%
-Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be
-like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications
-SHOULDN'T be like.
-        ― pixadel
-%
-Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
-%
-Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
-%
-Finster's Law: a closed mouth gathers no feet.
-%
-First Law of Procrastination: Procrastination shortens the job and places
-the responsibility for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority
-who imposed the deadline).
-%
-First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.
-%
-First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself, historians merely
-repeat each other.
-%
-Flee at once: All is discovered.
-%
-Flon's Law:
-        There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is
-        the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
-%
-Flugg's Law:
-        When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the
-        world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
-%
-Follow the river and you will eventually find the sea.
-%
-Football combines the two worst features of American life: violence and
-committee meetings.
-        ― George Will
-%
-For a really sweet time, call C6H12O6.
-%
-For a while there I was worried that my tin foil beanie was blocking the
-TopFive.com website. Luckily it turned out to be a router problem.
-        ― Attributed to "wubwub", quoted on www.ruminate.com (2004)
-%
-For an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be
-always old-fashioned.
-%
-For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
-%
-For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
-        ― R. Clopton
-%
-For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
-"Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
-        ― Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to
-                   the U.S.
-%
-For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.
-%
-For the politicians this was never about how efficient they could make
-things happen or how to solve a problem, it is about the *appearance* of
-efficiency, or problem solving. My observation is that most politicians
-think more like sales people than technicians, and are about as clueful.
-Which means, unless the politicians change the way they think, discussion
-about how to use *them* to go about really solving these problems would be
-like asking a booth babe to write a kernel module.
-        ― Rich Costine
-%
-For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
-        ― Abraham Lincoln
-%
-Forgetfulness, n.: A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for
-their destitution of conscience.
-%
-Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about
-interferences ― if you have none, someone will make one for you.
-%
-Fourth Law of Thermodymanics:
-If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
-        ― David Ellis
-%
-Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
-%
-Fresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.
-%
-Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
-%
-Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the
-roof and gets stuck.
-%
-Frobnicate, v.:
-        To manipulate or adjust, to tweak. Derived from FROBNITZ.
-Usually abbreviated to FROB. Thus one has the saying "to frob a
-frob". See TWEAK and TWIDDLE. Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK
-sometimes connote points along a continuum. FROB connotes aimless
-manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross manipulation, often a coarse
-search for a proper setting; TWEAK connotes fine-tuning. If someone is
-turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it
-he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the
-screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because
-turning a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.
-%
-From the ice-age to the dole-age
-there is but one concern
-and I have just discovered:
-some girls are bigger than others
-some girls are bigger than others
-some girls are bigger than
-other girls' mothers
-        ― The Smiths
-%
-From too much love of living/From hope and fear set free,
-We thank with brief thanksgiving/Whatever gods may be,
-That no life lives forever/That dead men rise up never,
-That even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
-        ― Swinburne
-%
-Froud's Law: A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the
-fuse by blowing first.
-%
-Fudd's First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will
-fall over.
-%
-Furbling, v.: Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
-even when you are the only person in line.
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-        ― H. H. Williams
-%
-Gadji beri bimba clandridi/Lauli lonni cadori gadjam
-A bim beri glassala glandride/E glassala tuffm I Zimbra.
-        ― Talking Heads (I Zimbra)
-%
-G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy. One
-of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his
-secretary, `Is there a play from Shaw this morning?' and when she says
-`No,' he will say, `Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish.'
-And that's your chance, my boy."
-%
-Garbage In ― Gospel Out.
-%
-Garter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her
-stockings and desolating the country.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Genderplex, n.: The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
-determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-Gene Police: YOU! Out of the pool!
-%
-Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
-%
-Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
-you should.
-%
-Genius is the talent of a man who is dead.
-%
-Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-        ― Elbert Hubbard
-%
-Genius: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with "bright".
-%
-Genuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet.
-        ― Karl Kleinpaste
-%
-Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a
-fossil sequence, the list of species represented changes through time.
-Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the
-explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of
-squeeezing one's eyes shut and wailing, "Does not!"
-        ― Dr.Pepper@f241.n103.z1.fidonet.org
-%
-George Orwell was an optimist.
-%
-Get forgiveness now ― tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
-%
-Get hold of portable property.
-        ― Charles Dickens, "Great Expectations"
-%
-Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
-Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
-        ― Calvin Keegan
-%
-Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs
-pounding.
-        ― Abraham Kaplan
-%
-Give big space to the festive dog that shall sport in the roadway.
-%
-Give me a plumber's friend the size of the Pittsburgh Dome, and a place
-to stand, and I will drain the world.
-%
-Give up.
-%
-Giving advice is not as risky as people say; few ever take it anyway.
-%
-Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase
-until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on
-getting some useful work done.
-%
-Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what value there may
-be in owning a piece thereof.
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-Go soothingly in the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon.
-%
-Go west young, man.
-%
-God did not create the world in 7 days; he screwed around for 6 days
-and then pulled an all-nighter.
-%
-God does not play dice with the universe.
-%
-God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends.
-%
-God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ... The
-trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty ... I do not mean
-to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman ... not enough
-to support a man and five children if he insists on smoking and drinking
-beer. But the man who cannot live on bread and water is not fit to live!
-A family may live on good bread and water in the morning, water and bread
-at midday, and good bread and water at night!
-        ― Rev. Henry Ward Beecher
-%
-God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-God is a polytheist.
-%
-God is a verb, not a noun.
-%
-God is an atheist.
-%
-God is playing a comic to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
-%
-God is real, unless declared integer.
-%
-God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant
-and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.
-        ― Pablo Picasso
-%
-God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
-        ― Alfred Jarry
-%
-God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
-%
-God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
-        ― Kronecker
-%
-God made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh.
-%
-God requireth not a uniformity of religion.
-        ― Roger Williams
-%
-God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,
-and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and
-Saturday.
-        ― William Bragg
-%
-Godwin's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a
-comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.
-%
-Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
-%
-Going to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to school
-make a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a person a car.
-%
-Goldenstern's Rules:
-        1. Always hire a rich attorney
-        2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
-%
-Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
-        ― La Rouchefoucauld
-%
-Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad
-example.
-        ― La Rouchefoucauld
-%
-Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.
-%
-Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-        ― George Saunders' dying words
-%
-Got Mole problems? Call Avogadro, 6.02 E23.
-%
-Goto, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
-to complain about unstructured programmers.
-        ― Ray Simard
-%
-Government expands to absorb all revenue and then some.
-%
-Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.
-        ― Tolstoy
-%
-Government sucks.
-        ― Ben Olson
-%
-Grabel's Law:
-        2 is not equal to 3 ― not even for large values of 2.
-%
-Graduate life ― it's not just a job, it's an indenture.
-%
-Grain grows best in shit.
-        ― Ursula K. LeGuin
-%
-Grandpa Charnock's Law:
-        You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
-%
-Granholm's Definition of the Kludge: An ill-assorted collection of poorly
-matching parts forming a distressing whole.
-        ― Jackson W. Granholm, "How to Design a Kludge,"
-           Datamation, Feb. 1962
-%
-Gray's Law of Programming:
-        `N+1' trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same
-        time as `N' tasks.
-
-Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
-        `N+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as `N' trivial tasks.
-%
-Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small
-people talk about wine.
-        ― Fran Lebowitz
-%
-Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.
-%
-Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
-%
-Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above
-average drivers.
-%
-Hacker's Law: The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
-a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
-        ― Andrew Hacker, The End of the American Era (1970)
-%
-Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten by the Scots and considered
-by them to be not only a delicacy but fit for human consumption. The minced
-heart, liver and lungs of a sheep, calf or other animal's inner organs are
-mixed with oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the sheep's intestinal
-stomach-bag and ... Excuse me a minute ...
-%
-Half of one, six dozen of the other.
-%
-Half the things that people do not succeed in are through fear of making
-the attempt.
-%
-Hand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and
-commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately
-explained by stupidity.
-%
-Hanson's Treatment of Time:
-        There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days
-        before Saturday.
-%
-Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
-%
-Happiness comes and goes and is short on staying power.
-        ― Frank Tyger
-%
-Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
-        ― Ogden Nash
-%
-Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
-        ― Oscar Levant
-%
-Happiness, n.: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of
-another.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery
-of another.
-%
-Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
-%
-Harris' Lament: All the good ones are taken.
-%
-Harris's Lament:
-        All the good ones are taken.
-%
-Harrisberger's Second Law of the Lab: No matter what result it anticipated,
-there is always someone willing to fake it.
-%
-Harrisberger's Third Law of the Lab: Experiments should be reproducive.
-They should all fail in the same way.
-%
-Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional
-to the amount of equipment ruined.
-%
-Harrison's Postulate:
-        For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
-%
-Hartley's First Law:
-        You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float
-        on his back, you've got something.
-%
-Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
-%
-Harvard Law: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,
-temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as
-it damn well pleases.
-%
-Has everyone noticed that all the letters of the word "database" are
-typed with the left hand? Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter
-keyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use
-of both hands. It follows, therefore, that writing about databases is
-not only unnatural, but a lot harder than it appears.
-%
-Hatred, n.: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell you,
-"There's a time for work and a time for play," never find the time for play?
-%
-Have you locked your file cabinet?
-%
-Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a
-crack in your sidewalk?
-%
-He had that rare weird electricity about him ― that extremely wild and
-heavy presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope
-of ever behaving "normally."
-        ― Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing '72"
-%
-He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-He hated to mend, so young Ned
-Called in a cute neighbor instead.
-        Her husband said, "Vi,
-        When you stitched up his torn fly,
-Did you have to bite off the thread?"
-%
-He is considered the most graceful speaker who can say nothing in most words.
-%
-He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
-%
-He launched a massive attack on everything this country held inviolate, on
-most of what it held self-evident. He showed how our politics was dominated
-by time-servers and demagogues, our religion by bigots, our culture by
-puritans. He showed how the average citizen, both in himself and in the
-way he let himself be pulled around by the nose, was a boob.
-        ― Louis Kronenberger, "H.L. Mencken," in Malcolm Cowley, ed.,
-           After the Genteel Tradition, 1964.
-
-%
-He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
-%
-He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
-        ― John Mason Brown, drama critic
-%
-He that labors and thrives spins gold.
-        ― George Herbert
-%
-He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.
-%
-He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
-%
-He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
-%
-He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
-%
-He wasn't much of an actor, he wasn't much of a Governor ― Hell, they
-HAD to make him President of the United States. It's the only job he's
-qualified for!
-        ― Michael Cain
-%
-He who Laughs, Lasts.
-%
-He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry
-attacks democracy itself.
-        ― William S. Paley, chairman of CBS
-%
-He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
-%
-He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
-%
-He who hates vices hates mankind.
-%
-He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
-%
-He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on
-cruise.
-%
-He who laughs, lasts.
-%
-He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
-%
-He who shits on the road will meet flies on his return.
-        ― South African Saying
-%
-He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
-%
-He who spends a storm beneath a tree takes life with a grain of TNT.
-%
-He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
-        ― M. C. Escher
-%
-He'll sit here and he'll say, "Do this! Do that!" And nothing will happen.
-        ― Harry S. Truman, on presidential power
-%
-He's dead, Jim.
-%
-He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be
-there ... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.
-%
-Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
-%
-Heaven, n.: A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of
-their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you
-expound your own.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Heavy, adj.: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
-%
-Hedonist for hire: no job too easy.
-%
-Heisenberg may have slept here.
-%
-Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-        ― Milton Friedman
-%
-Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
-Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the
-organization.
-%
-Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
-%
-Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
-%
-Help stamp out, remove and abolish redundancy.
-%
-Her life was saved by rock and roll.
-        ― Lou Reed
-%
-Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.
-%
-Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow
-up.
-        ― Peter Drucker
-%
-Here at Controls, we have one chief for every Indian.
-%
-Heuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs,
-then they'd be algorithms.
-%
-Hey what? Where? When? (Are you confused as I am?)
-%
-Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
-reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
-nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.
-%
-Hidden talent counts for nothing.
-        ― Nero
-%
-Hindsight is an exact science.
-%
-Hippogriff, n.:
-        An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin.
-The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle.
-The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which
-is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full
-of surprises.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Hire the morally handicapped.
-%
-His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
-%
-History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other.
-%
-History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion ―
-i.e., none to speak of.
-        ― Lazarus Long
-%
-History repeats itself. That's one thing wrong with history.
-%
-History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people
-maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of
-ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will
-always avail themselves for their own purpose.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson, to Baron von Humboldt, 1813
-%
-History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,
-periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them
-asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at
-intervals, casts its too narrow skin and assumes another... Truly the
-imago state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step
-gained.
-        ― Charles Darwin, from "Origin of the Species"
-%
-Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person ― they
-will find an easier way to do it.
-%
-Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a
-small problem struggling to get out.
-%
-Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take
-Hofstadter's Law into account.
-%
-Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at
-your side.
-        ― Han Solo
-%
-Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
-        ― Rex Reed
-%
-Holy Smoke, Batman, it's the Joker!
-%
-Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
-        ― F. M. Hubbard
-%
-Honi soit la vache qui rit.
-%
-Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative
-bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable
-gentleman is a scurvy cur."
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special
-case.
-%
-Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
-        ― W. C. Fields
-%
-How about a little fire, scarecrow?
-%
-How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
-%
-How can you be two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
-        ― Firesign Theater
-%
-How come only your friends step on your new white sneakers?
-%
-How does a project get to be a year late? ... One day at a time.
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-Q. How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?
-A. It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
-%
-Q. How many Bavarian Illuminati does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A. Three: one to screw it in, and one to confuse the issue.
-%
-Q. How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A. "That's a known problem... don't worry about it."
-%
-Q. How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A. Three: one to screw it in and two to say "I told you so" when it doesn't
-   work.
-%
-Q. How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
-A. Two. One to change the bulb and one to mix the drinks.
-%
-Q. How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-A. None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.
-%
-Q. How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb?
-A. "Well the diagnostics say it's fine buddy, so it's a software problem."
-%
-Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
-A. None. It's a hardware problem.
-%
-Q. How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-A. You don't know, man. You don't KNOW. Cause you weren't THERE.
-        ― http://bash.org/?255991
-%
-Q. How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
-A. 9 edge down.
-%
-Howe's Law: Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
-%
-However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional
-manner ... sulking and nausea.
-        ― Tom K. Ryan
-%
-Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
-%
-Human cardiac catheterization was introduced by Werner Forssman in 1929.
-Ignoring his department chief, and tying his assistant to an operating
-table to prevent his interference, he placed a uretheral catheter into a
-vein in his arm, advanced it to the right atrium [of his heart], and walked
-upstairs to the x-ray department where he took the confirmatory x-ray film.
-In 1956, Dr. Forssman was awarded the Nobel Prize.
-%
-Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be
-lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.
-        ― Isaac Asimov
-%
-Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The chance of forgetting something is directly
-proportional to ..... to ........ uh ..............
-%
-I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to
-their fellows.
-        ― Susan B. Anthony
-%
-I HATE arbitrary limits, especially when they're small.
-        ― Stephen Savitzky
-%
-I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absented myself
-from Christian assemblies.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin
-%
-I have had interactions with developers who are convinced that everything in
-.Net was created solely by MS for open source usage. But that could be another
-result of vaccination preservatives.
-        ― Larry Weber
-%
-I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being
-told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick
-and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
-        ― Monty Python
-%
-I would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists to practice
-whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own
-homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.
-        ― Arthur C. Clarke
-%
-I would not dare to so dishonor my Creator God by attaching His name to
-that book [the Bible].
-        ― Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason, Part 1, Section 5
-%
-I'm also not very analytical. You know, I don't spend a lot of time thinking
-about myself, about why I do things.
-        ― George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One; June 4, 2003
-%
-I'm an evolutionist because I judge the evidence for the unity of life by
-common descent over billions of years to be overwhelming, not so that I can
-cheat on my wife or kick the cat with impunity. I live in no hope of heaven
-or fear of hell, but like most of my fellow Americans of all religious
-persuasions, I try to live a decent life. Folks like Tom DeLay just can't
-get it through their heads that a person can choose to live ethically
-because civilized life requires doing unto others as you would have them do
-unto you.
-        ― Chet Raymo, science columnist for The Boston Globe, in a
-           5 Sep, 1999, article on the anti-evolution decision by Kansas
-           School Board
-%
-I am a member of a party of one, and I live in an age of fear. Nothing
-lately has unsettled my party and raised my fears so much as your
-editorial, on Thanksgiving Day, suggesting that employees should be
-required to state their beliefs in order to hold their jobs. The idea is
-inconsistent with our constitutional theory and has been stubbornly opposed
-by watchful men since the early days of the Republic.
-        ― E.B. White, in a letter to the New York Herald Tribune
-           (November 29, 1947)
-%
-I am always with myself, and it is I who am my tormenter.
-        ― Leo Tolstoy
-%
-I am astounded ... at the wonderful power you have developed ― and terrified
-at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record
-forever.
-        ― Arthur Sullivan, on seeing a demonstration of Edison's new
-           talking machine in 1888
-%
-I am not now, and never have been, a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.
-        ― Gloria Steinem
-%
-I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the
-great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater.
-%
-I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of
-pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you
-that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic
-globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't
-help it. I was born sneering.
-        ― Pooh-Bah, "The Mikado", Gilbert & Sullivan
-%
-I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-        ― G. K. Chesterton
-%
-I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
-        ― Will Rogers
-%
-I'll bet the human brain is a kludge.
-        ― Marvin Minsky
-%
-I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
-Why so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call for them?
-        ― Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part I
-%
-I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
-        ― Joe Walsh
-%
-I cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. Therefore, I affirm both.
-Without a belief in human unity I am hungry and incomplete. Human unity
-is the fulfillment of diversity. It is the harmony of opposites. It is
-a many-stranded texture, with color and depth.
-        ― Norman Cousins
-%
-I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
-        ― Lillian Hellman
-%
-I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
-you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
-you will understand why I dismiss yours.
-        ― Steven Roberts
-%
-I could prove God statistically.
-        ― George Gallup
-%
-I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat veggies.
-%
-I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
-Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church,
-nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own church.
-        ― Thomas Paine
-%
-I do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign itself
-to going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon...
-        ― Lyndon B. Johnson
-%
-I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
-        ― Isaac Asimov
-%
-I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
-with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-        ― Galileo Galilei
-%
-I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.
-        ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
-%
-I do not mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language
-I don't understand.
-        ― Sir Edware Appleton
-%
-I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians
-don't believe in astrology.
-        ― James R. F. Quirk
-%
-I don't care if I'm a lemming. I'm not going.
-%
-I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!
-        ― Vidiu Platon
-%
-I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-I don't like spreading rumors, but what else can you do with them?
-%
-I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
-on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment
-he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual
-becoming, with a goal in front and not behind.
-        ― George Bernard Shaw
-%
-I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be
-questioned about their motives.
-        ― Leray Scifres
-%
-I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-I fart in your general direction, tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms.
-%
-I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
-        ― Mae West
-%
-I get the feeling that as soon as something appears in the paper, it ceases to
-be true.
-        ― T-Bone Burnett
-%
-I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving.
-I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read
-the news themselves.
-        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; September 21, 2003
-%
-I go to seek a great perhaps.
-        ― Francois Rabelais
-%
-I had a great idea this morning but I did not like it.
-        ― Anon
-%
-I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
-        ― Samuel Goldwyn
-%
-I hate quotations.
-        ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
-%
-I have a simple philosophy:
-        Fill what's empty.
-        Empty what's full.
-        Scratch where it itches.
-        ― A. R. Longworth
-%
-I have discovered the heart of bushido: to die!
-        ― Yamamoto Tsunetomo
-%
-I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
-        ― Clarence Darrow
-%
-I haven't lost my mind ― it's backed up on tape somewhere.
-%
-I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
-%
-I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents
-become better people as a result of practicing it.
-        ― Joe Mullally, computer salesman
-%
-I just thought of something funny...your mother.
-        ― Cheech Marin
-%
-I like a man who grins when he fights.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
-        ― Art Leo
-%
-I like the future, I'm in it.
-%
-I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And
-in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the
-additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.
-        ― Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer,
-           Vol. 12, Fall 87
-%
-I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
-%
-I never fail to convince an audience that the best thing they could do
-was to go away.
-%
-I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like.
-%
-I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
-        ― William F. Buckley
-%
-I program, therefore I am.
-%
-I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis
-socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think
-you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a
-very technical boy. So I decided to get as crude as possible. These days,
-though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire to
-crudeness.
-        ― Johnny Mnemonic, by William Gibson
-%
-I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of
-oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
-commerce.
-        ― J. Edgar Hoover
-%
-I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
-oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate
-commerce.
-        ― J. Edgar Hoover
-%
-I sat through it. Why shouldn't you?
-        ― David Letterman, it a spot promoting one of his shows
-%
-I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's.
-%
-I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
-Straining upon the start. The game's afoot.
-        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act III, Scene 1
-%
-I simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that decaying
-mass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to medieval conceptions
-of Christianity, and which still lingers among us―a most serious barrier to
-religion and morals, and a menace to the whole normal evolution of society.
-        ― Andrew D. White, author, first president of Cornell University, 1896
-%
-I support everyone's right to be an idiot. I may need it someday.
-%
-I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell's ass.
-        ― Senator Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of
-           Jerry Falwell's suggestion that all good Christians should be
-           against Sandra Day O'Connor's nomination to the Supreme Court
-%
-I think Microsoft named .NET so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing.
-        ― Oktal
-%
-I think people are reacting to what they perceive to be your simplistic and
-fetishistic understanding of the economy, which is becoming more and more
-pronouncedly so in its outward manifestations as you react to your
-misunderstanding of people's reactions to your reaction to what you perceived
-as Sam's simplistic and fetishistic understanding of the economy.
-        ― Gordan Todorovac
-%
-I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-I think time is crucial to anything. For example, if you lock an infinite
-number of monkeys in a room with those typewriters, but you limit the
-amount of time they have to write, the best you'll get out of them is the
-pilot to The Dukes of Hazzard.
-        ―Doug Sykes
-%
-I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my
-lifetime.
-        ― Johnny Legend
-%
-I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
-%
-I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
-        ― Marvin
-%
-I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
-%
-I use not only all the brains I have but all that I can borrow.
-        ― Woodrow Wilson
-%
-I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
-        ― Graffiti
-%
-I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance.
-%
-I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
-%
-I was brought up in the other service; but I knew from the first that the
-Devil was my natural master and captain and friend. I saw that he was in
-the right, and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear.
-        ― Shaw, "The Devil's Disciple"
-%
-I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all
-these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these
-kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and
-I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
-avoiding the beach.
-        ― Lucinda Childs (Philip Glass: Einstein On The Beach)
-%
-I went on to test the program in every way I could devise. I strained
-it to expose its weaknesses. I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass
-stars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold.
-I ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be
-absent ― not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had
-developed an intuitive feel for the answer in this particular case.
-Finally I got a run in which the computer showed the pulsar's
-temperature to be less than absolute zero. I had found an error. I
-chased down the error and fixed it. Now I had improved the program to
-the point where it would not run at all.
-        ― George Greenstein, "Frozen Star: Of Pulsars, Black
-                   Holes and the Fate of Stars"
-%
-I will never use biometrics. I'm afraid they'll make me change my password.
-        ― Drew Sudell
-%
-Few companies really work like the Borg.  Most work a lot more like the Holy
-Roman Empire. News often takes weeks to travel from castle to castle by
-minstrel.
-        ― Drew Sudell
-%
-[The Ramones'] "I Wanna Be Sedated" should be played loud, poorly, and in
-some dingy club where you'd get grounded if your folks found out you were
-there, not quietly while strolling down the freezer aisle.
-        ― Drew Sudell
-%
-I will contend that conceptual integrity is *the* most important consideration
-in system design.
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., _The Mythical Man Month_
-%
-I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's
-a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't work.
-        ― Gallagher
-%
-I wish they all could be California girls.
-%
-I wish you humans would leave me alone.
-%
-I would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice
-whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own
-homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.
-        ― Arthur C. Clarke
-%
-I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
-gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the
-missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
-        ― Oliver North
-%
-I wouldn't mind dying ― it's that business of having to stay dead that
-scares the shit out of me.
-        ― R. Geis
-%
-I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
-%
-I'll tell you what kind of guy I was. If you ordered a boxcar full of
-sons-of-bitches and opened the door and only found me inside, you could
-consider the order filled.
-        ― Robert Mitchum
-%
-I'm a misanthrope. What's your fucking problem?
-%
-I'm growing older, but not up.
-        ― Jimmy Buffett
-%
-I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?
-        ― Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate
-%
-I'm mad, and that's a fact./I found out animals don't help.
-Animals think they're pretty smart./Shit on the ground, see in the dark.
-        ― Talking Heads (Fear of Music)
-%
-I'm not breaking the rules. I'm just testing their elasticity.
-%
-I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going.
-%
-I've got a bad feeling about this.
-%
-I've had fun before. This isn't it.
-%
-I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've seen more
-of them who were paralyzed in the head.
-        ― George Wallace
-%
-Idiot Box, n.: The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
-stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-Idiot, n.: A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
-affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited by law.
-        ― Roy Santoro
-%
-If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.
-        ― Yiddish saying
-%
-If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
-%
-If I had a hammer, I'd use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.
-        ― Howard Rosenberg
-%
-If I had any humility I would be perfect.
-        ― Ted Turner
-%
-If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves
-upon execution.
-        ― Robert Sewell
-%
-If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They
-would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
-        ― Thomas Carlyle
-%
-If Murphy's Law were true, every time you tried to take a breath, all the
-air would be on the other side of the room.
-%
-If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
-%
-If a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there will be N-1
-passes. Someone in the group has to be the manager.
-        ― T. Cheatham
-%
-If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake
-him up.
-%
-If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,
-and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can
-convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health.
-        ― Sir Peter Medawar, The Art of the Soluble
-%
-If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular
-error.
-        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
-%
-If all the philosophers in the world were laid end to end, they wouldn't
-reach a conclusion.
-%
-If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end
-across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.
-%
-If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-        ― Paul Beatty
-%
-If all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a
-conclusion.
-        ― William Baumol
-%
-If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
-it isn't worth the effort.
-%
-If anything can go wrong, it will.
-%
-If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
-%
-If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
-%
-If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
-%
-If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
-identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
-collection of meaningless words about unintelligible chimeras, then
-I have no doubt, and I think few people doubt, that atheists are as
-plentiful as blackberries...
-        ― Leslie Stephen (1832-1904), literary essayist, author
-%
-If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four
-tellers?
-%
-If entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?
-%
-If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
-%
-If guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the liberals?
-%
-If I was a religious person, I would consider creationism nothing less than
-blasphemy. Do its adherents imagine that God is a cosmic hoaxer who has
-created that whole vast fossil record for the sole purpose of misleading
-mankind?
-        ― Arthur C. Clarke, June 5, 1998, in the essay "Presidents, Experts,
-           and Asteroids"
-%
-If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
-%
-If imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not
-use.
-%
-If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
-        ― Bert Lantz
-%
-If it doesn't come from you, shouldn't it come from Gerber?
-        ― Bristol Meyers baby formula ad
-%
-If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly.
-%
-If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
-%
-If it weren't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples.
-%
-If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.
-%
-If it's working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
-If it's not working, the diagnostics say it's fine.
-        ― A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming
-%
-If life is a stage, I want some better lighting.
-%
-If mathematically you end up with the wrong answer, try multiplying by
-the page number.
-%
-If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.
-%
-If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges.
-%
-If one year is seven dog years, then one day is a dog week.
-%
-If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
-in my name at a Swiss Bank.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
-in my name at a Swiss bank.
-        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
-%
-If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
-%
-If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without
-having to accomplish anything.
-%
-If people were required to know the law rather than obey it, the government
-would be overthrown the very next day.
-%
-If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
-arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the
-physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker
-entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
-        ― Vannevar Bush
-%
-If someone gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
-        ― D. Woodhouse
-%
-If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-        ― Pope John Paul I
-%
-If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would
-suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only
-fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966,
-only two went back to women.
-        ― Mort Sahl
-%
-If something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
-%
-If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would
-presumably flunk it.
-        ― Stanley Garn
-%
-If the bulk of American SF can be said to be written by robots, about
-robots, for robots, then the bulk of English fantasy seems to be written
-by rabbits, about rabbits and for rabbits.
-        ― Michael Moorcock
-%
-If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
-        ― Norm Schryer
-%
-If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
-%
-If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are
-50-50 it will.
-%
-If the presence of electricity can be made visible in any part of a
-circuit, I see no reason why intelligence may not be transmitted
-instantaneously by electricity.
-        ― Samuel F. B. Morse
-%
-If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down. If
-the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down. If the
-bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will
-exceed all expectations.
-        ― Reverend Chichester
-%
-If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
-%
-If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that
-will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
-%
-If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
-        ― Art Hoppe
-%
-If this country is worth saving, it's worth saving at a profit.
-        ― H. L. Hunt
-%
-If this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.
-%
-If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
-%
-If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is
-doing the thinking.
-        ― Lyndon Baines Johnson
-%
-If voting could really change the system, it would be against the law.
-%
-If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are
-headed.
-%
-If we do not change our direction, we might end up were we are headed.
-%
-If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
-inevitiable.
-        ― John F. Kennedy
-%
-If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play
-for awhile.
-%
-If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.
-%
-If you are willing to die, you can do anything.
-%
-If you build something a fool can use, only a fool will want it.
-%
-If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.
-%
-If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
-%
-If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.
-%
-If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-If you cannot take a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.
-        ― Nikita Khrushchev
-%
-If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
-%
-If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
-%
-If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it
-will always do it.
-        ― Les Aspin, D., Wisconsin
-%
-If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
-%
-If you have to push so hard that you break your penis, you are doing
-something wrong.
-        — Frank McLaughlin
-%
-If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
-%
-If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.
-        ― Graham Summer
-%
-If you make a mistake, you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
-%
-If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
-really make them think they'll hate you.
-%
-If you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody
-in the whole wide world, don't trust him. It means he experiments.
-%
-If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
-        ― Maslow
-%
-If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
-can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly
-develop.
-%
-If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine,
-you won't get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get
-ice, but no cup.
-%
-If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But
-this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is
-somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-%
-If you see someone without a smile, give them yours.
-        ― Anonymous
-%
-If you substitute other kinds of intellectual property into the GNU
-manifesto, it quickly becomes absurd.
-        ― Cal Keegan
-%
-If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
-%
-If you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first.
-%
-If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-        ― Derek Bok, president of Harvard
-%
-If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
-payments.
-        ― Earl Wilson
-%
-If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest
-shopping center in the world?
-        ― Richard M. Nixon
-%
-If you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight.
-        ― some IBM guy
-%
-If you work hard and do your homework, you can grow up and get a job doing
-homework.
-        ― former U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer
-%
-If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.
-        ― broadcast from Apollo 11's LEM, "Eagle", to Johnson Space Center,
-           Houston, July 20, 1969, 7:27 P.M.
-%
-If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for
-tomorrow morning, sleep late.
-        ― Henny Youngman
-%
-If you're happy, you're successful.
-%
-If you're not careful, you're going to catch something.
-%
-If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-%
-If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
-        ― Benjamin Disraeli
-%
-If you've done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
-off with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the
-universe?
-%
-If you've seen one Grand Canyon, you've seen them all.
-        ― a member of the Monkey Wrench Gang
-%
-If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.
-        ― Spiro Agnew
-%
-If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.
-        ― Ronald Reagan
-%
-If your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
-%
-Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.
-        ― Robert Burton
-%
-Ignorance is when you don't know anything and somebody finds it out.
-%
-Ignore previous fortune.
-%
-I'll play with it first and tell you what it is later.
-        ― Miles Davis
-%
-Illinois isn't exactly the land that God forgot ― it's more like the
-land He's trying to ignore.
-%
-Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
-        ― Jules de Gaultier
-%
-Imitation is the sincerest form of plagiarism.
-%
-Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-        ― Fred Allen
-%
-Immortality ― a fate worse than death.
-        ― Edgar A. Shoaff
-%
-Impartial, adj.: Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
-espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting
-opinions.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Important letters which contain no errors will develop errors in the
-mail. Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the
-Boss is reading it.
-%
-In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one
-of the risks he takes.
-        ― Adlai Stevenson
-%
-In English, every word can be verbed. Would that it were so in our
-programming languages.
-%
-In a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only,
-we can't control when the five year period will begin.
-%
-In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own incompetence.
-        ― The Peter Principle
-%
-In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)
-are to be treated as variables.
-%
-In arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,
-psychokinesis, reincarnation, and so on, I am frequently challenged with
-the most popular of all neuro-mythologies ― the notion that we ordinarily
-use only 10 percent of our brains...
-
-This "cerebral spare tire" concept continues to nourish the clientele of
-"pop psychologists" and their many recycling self-improvement schemes. As
-a metaphor for the fact that few of us fully exploit our talents, who could
-deny it? As a refuge for occultists seeking a neural basis of the miraculous,
-it leaves much to be desired.
-        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Conciousness: Implications for
-           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Enquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2, pg. 171
-%
-In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty. He
-is always in alliance with the despot.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Horatio G. Spafford, 1814
-%
-In general, it is best to assume that the network is filled with malevolent
-entities that will send in packets designed to have the worst possible effect.
-        ― the draft "Requirements for Internet Hosts" RFC
-%
-In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
-%
-In order to succeed in any enterprise, one must be persistent and patient.
-Even if one has to run some risks, one must be brave and strong enough to
-meet and overcome vexing challenges to maintain a successful business in
-the long run. I cannot help saying that Americans lack this necessary
-challenging spirit today.
-        ― Hajime Karatsu
-%
-In our civilization, and under our republican form of government,
-intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the
-cares of office.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-In software, we rarely have meaningful requirements. Even if we do, the
-only measure of success that matters is whether our solution solves the
-customer's shifting idea of what their problem is.
-        ― Jeff Atwood
-%
-In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to
-drop out, turn on, and groove with the chemicals and light shows at
-discotheques.
-        ― Art Linkletter
-%
-In the beginning I was made. I didn't ask to me made. No one consulted me
-or considered my feelings in this matter. But if it brought some passing
-fancy to some lowly humans as they haphazardly pranced their way through
-life's mournful jungle then so be it.
-        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android
-%
-In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it's not
-there if you want to keep writing good code.
-        ― Karl
-%
-In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.
-        ― L. Pasteur
-%
-In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
-the proper order then why can't he?
-%
-[In the future], people like me will be underground and hunted.
-        ― Chuck Murcko, 1995 (at an employer-sponsored brainstorming session)
-%
-In Sedona, "Namaste" means "What can I sell you?"
-        ― Chuck Murcko
-%
-In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
-You'll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
-        ― Robert Lucky
-%
-In the land of the dark, the Ship of the Sun is driven by the Grateful Dead.
-        ― Egyptian Book of the Dead
-%
-In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
-        ― Alan Perlis
-%
-In the market, there can be no such thing as exploitation.
-        ― Murray Rothbard
-%
-In the pitiful, multipage, connection-boxed form to which the flowchart has
-today been elaborated, it has proved to be useless as a design tool ―
-programmers draw flowcharts after, not before, writing the programs they
-describe.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true
-or becomes true.
-        ― John Lilly
-%
-In the realm of scientific observation, luck is granted only to those who are
-prepared.
-        ― Louis Pasteur
-%
-In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're different.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-In this world, Truth can wait; she's used to it.
-%
-Incest, n.: Sibling revelry.
-%
-Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose
-job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
-%
-Ingrate, n.: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of
-indigestion.
-%
-Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
-        ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
-%
-Innovation is hard to schedule.
-        ― Dan Fylstra
-%
-Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.
-        ― Erma Bombeck
-%
-Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
-%
-Insanity is the final defense ... It's hard to get a refund when the
-salesman is sniffing your crotch and baying at the moon.
-%
-Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
-%
-Integrity has no need for rules.
-%
-Interpreter, n.: One who enables two persons of different languages to
-understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to
-the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
-%
-Is it not strange that the descendants of those Pilgrim Fathers who crossed
-the Atlantic to preserve their own freedom have always proved the most
-intolerant of the spiritual liberty of others?
-        ― Robert E. Lee, in a letter to President Franklin Pierce
-%
-Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to
-be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?
-%
-Is life worth living? It depends on the liver.
-        ― Herbert Beerbohm Tree
-%
-Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of
-the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as
-are out wish to get in?
-        ― Ralph Emerson
-%
-Isn't it strange that the same people that laugh at gypsy fortune
-tellers take economists seriously?
-%
-Issawi's Laws of Progress:
-1. The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.
-2. The Path of Progress: A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.
-%
-It could be worse, you could be in Cleveland.
-%
-It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God.
-It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
-thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
-drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of
-giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said
-that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of
-other midgets.
-        ― Alan Cooper
-%
-It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
-%
-It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man's life.
-%
-It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
-%
-It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
-        ― Willie Sutton
-%
-It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
-What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
-thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
-        ― Alan Perlis
-%
-It is amusing that a virtue is made of the vice of chastity; and it's a
-pretty odd sort of chastity at that, which leads men straight into the
-sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-It is bad luck to be superstitious.
-        ― Andrew W. Mathis
-%
-It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
-%
-It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because
-he is not of the same opinion, is a monster.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly
-and try another. But above all, try something.
-        ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
-%
-It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
-incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
-twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-        ― R. Serling
-%
-It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
-incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
-twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-        ― Rod Serling
-%
-It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice
-versa.
-%
-It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-%
-It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-%
-It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
-%
-It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct
-one.
-%
-It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
-if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
-        ― Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
-%
-It is happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
-        ― S. Johnson
-%
-It is important to note that probably no large operating system using current
-design technology can withstand a determined and well-coordinated attack,
-and that most such documented penetrations have been remarkably easy.
-        ― B. Hebbard, "A Penetration Analysis of the Michigan Terminal
-           System", Operating Systems Review, Vol. 14, No. 1, June 1980,
-           pp. 7-20
-%
-It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
-        ― "Industry at Work," Oilways, n2., 1972, pp. 16-17. Humble Oil
-           & Refining Company., Houston, TX
-%
-It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not
-desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-It is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system
-would see in our species ― which has tended to be cruel, destructive,
-wasteful, and irrational ― the crown and apex of cosmic evolution.
-Viewing us as the culmination of *anything* is grotesque; viewing us as a
-transitional species makes more sense ― and gives us more hope.
-        ― Betty McCollister, "Our Transitional Species",
-           Free Inquiry magazine, Vol. 8, No. 1
-%
-It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
-%
-It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the
-problem.
-%
-It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat
-somebody.
-        ― Richard M. Nixon
-%
-It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.
-        ― Abraham Lincoln
-%
-It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-        ― Gore Vidal
-%
-It is not true that life is one damn thing after another ― it's one
-damn thing over and over.
-        ― Edna St. Vincent Millay
-%
-It is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and
-intimidation.
-%
-It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?
-        ― Elizabeth Carpenter
-%
-It is now pitch dark. If you proceed, you will likely fall into a
-pit.
-%
-It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
-virginity could be a virtue.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
-%
-It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the
-lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as
-high as the eagle?
-%
-It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
-statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more
-glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through
-which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the
-day, that is the highest of arts.
-        ― Henry David Thoreau, "Where I Live"
-%
-It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.
-        ― Robert Bly
-%
-It is the business of little minds to shrink.
-        ― Carl Sandburg
-%
-It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
-        ― Hawkwind
-%
-It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to
-the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is
-eternal vigilance; which condition if he break, servitude is at once the
-consequence of his crime and the punishment of his guilt.
-        ― John Philpot Curran: Speech upon the Right of Election, 1790.
-           (Speeches. Dublin, 1808.)
-%
-It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.
-        ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C. - A.D. 65)
-%
-It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
-%
-It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon
-insufficient evidence.
-        ― W. K. Clifford, British philosopher, circa 1876
-%
-It is your destiny.
-        ― Darth Vader
-%
-It just goes to show what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.
-%
-It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
-warning to others.
-%
-It may soon be time for you to look for a new line of work.
-%
-It often works better if you plug it in.
-%
-It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
-%
-It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
-%
-It takes a long time to understand nothing.
-        ― Edward Dahlberg
-%
-It turned out that the worm exploited three or four different holes in the
-system. From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine some
-of the source code, we realized that we were dealing with someone very sharp,
-probably not someone here on campus.
-        ― Dr. Richard LeBlanc, associate professor of ICS, quoted
-           in "The Technique," Georgia Tech's newspaper, after the computer
-           worm hit the Internet
-%
-It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
-%
-It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
-always thus.
-        ― Dean Lattimer
-%
-It was the Law of the Sea, they said.  Civilization ends at the waterline.
-Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.
-        ― Hunter S. Thompson
-%
-It will be advantageous to cross the great stream ... the Dragon is on
-the wing in the Sky ... the Great Man rouses himself to his Work.
-%
-It works better if you plug it in.
-%
-It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
-        ― Andrew Jackson
-%
-It's a fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
-%
-It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
-%
-It's all in the mind, ya know.
-%
-It's better to burn out than it is to rust.
-%
-It's better to burn out than to fade away.
-%
-It's currently a problem of access to gigabits through punybaud.
-        ― J. C. R. Licklider
-%
-It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-%
-It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for
-being right.
-%
-It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
-%
-It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it
-is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It
-isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
-        ― Oxford University Press, Edpress News
-%
-It's later than you think.
-%
-It's like deja vu all over again.
-        ― Yogi Berra
-%
-It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong
-direction.
-%
-It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
-        ― Phil White
-%
-It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
-        ― Alexander Korda
-%
-It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.
-%
-It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom
-window or outside your bedroom, period.
-        ― Groucho Marx
-%
-It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless
-world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less
-cruel and heartless.
-        ― L.R. Knost
-%
-It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
-%
-It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it
-happens.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.
-%
-It's not what we don't know that gets us into trouble, it's what we know that
-ain't so.
-        ― Will Rogers
-%
-It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
-%
-It's smart to pick your friends - but not to pieces.
-%
-It's so humid, you could poach an egg on the sidewalk.
-%
-Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government: No man's life, liberty, or
-property are safe while the legislature is in session.
-%
-Jay's First Law: The classic hierarchy consists of one man at the top with
-three below him, each of who has three below him, and so on with fearful
-symmetry unto the seventh generation, by which stage there is a row of 729
-managers.
-        ― Antony Jay, Management and Machiavelli, 1967
-%
-Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.
-%
-Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
-        ― Michael O'Donoghue
-%
-Jesus was killed by a Moral Majority.
-%
-Jizz changes everything. It's science!
-        ― Jim Chapman
-%
-John Birch Society ― that pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy.
-        ― Edward P. Morgan
-%
-Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so
-at the most inconvenient possible time.
-%
-Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone
-to blame it on.
-%
-Jones' Law of Hierarchical Limits: As an administrator, you need to give
-ten pats on the head for each kick in the butt. This is the reason for
-keeping the number of people reporting to you a fairly small number.
-Otherwise, you will run out of hands, but still have an overcapacity in feet.
-%
-Jones' Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-%
-Jones's First Law:
-        Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
-        endeavor, and stays in that field long enough, becomes an
-        obstruction to its progress ― in direct proportion to the
-        importance of their original contribution.
-%
-Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
-%
-Jury ― Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
-%
-Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
-        ― Southern California Oracle
-%
-Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
-%
-Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows
-what it is.
-%
-Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he
-knows what it is.
-%
-Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
-        ― B. Kliban
-%
-Just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that isn't immune to bullets.
-        ― The Brigadier, Dr. Who.
-%
-Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
-twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
-%
-Just remember: you're not a "dummy," no matter what those computer books
-claim. The real dummies are the people who―though technically
-expert―couldn't design hardware and software that's usable by normal
-consumers if their lives depended upon it.
-        ― Walter Mossberg
-%
-Justice is incidental to law and order.
-        ― J. Edgar Hoover
-%
-Justice, like lightning, should ever appear
-To some men hope, to other men fear.
-        ― Jefferson Pierce
-%
-Justice: A decision in your favor.
-%
-Karl's version of Parkinson's Law: Work expands to exceed the time allotted it.
-%
-Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities
-have been exhausted.
-%
-Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
-%
-Keep in mind always the two constant Laws of Frisbee:
-1. The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land
-   under a car, just out of reach. (This force is technically termed "car
-   suck.")
-2. Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than "Watch this!"
-%
-Ken Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most
-automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gage, nor any of the
-numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver
-makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the center of the dashboard.
-"The experienced driver", he says, "will usually know what's wrong."
-%
-Ketterling's Law: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
-%
-Kinkler's First Law: Responsibility always exceeds authority.
-Kinkler's Second Law: All the easy problems have been solved.
-%
-Klein bottle for rent, apply within.
-%
-Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.
-        ― Henry N. Camp
-%
-L'extension des privileges des femmes est le principe general de tous progres
-sociaux.
-        ― Charles Fourier, 1808
-%
-Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Lack of skill dictates economy of style.
-        ― Joey Ramone
-%
-Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so
-badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-Laissez Faire Economics is the theory that if each acts like a vulture,
-all will end as doves.
-%
-Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
-serve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
-society...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared
-adventure and achievement to the society at large.
-        ― Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
-%
-Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.
-%
-Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
-%
-Law of Communications: The inevitable result of improved and enlarged
-communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly
-increased area of misunderstanding.
-%
-Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
-        If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.
-%
-Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be
-evenly distributed.
-%
-Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
-%
-Lawrence's Axiom: Anger is one letter short of danger.
-%
-Laws of Computer Programming
-(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
-(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
-(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
-(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
-(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
-(6) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
-(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
-    programmer who must maintain it.
-(8) Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you
-    will find that programmers cannot write in English.
-        ― SIGPLAN Notices, Vol. 2, No. 2
-%
-Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how
-tragic your defeats ― approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
-%
-Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
-        ― Anon
-%
-Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
-%
-Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
-%
-Leisure can be justified.
-Recreation maximizes productive stamina.
-Play is not the opposite of work.
-Idleness consolidates thought.
-        ― Thomas "Sam" Frantz
-%
-Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
-%
-Let He who taketh the Plunge Remember to return it by Tuesday.
-%
-Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
-%
-Let me play with it first and I'll tell you what it is later.
-        ― Miles Davis
-%
-Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a
-fantasy, a terrible, terrible lie somebody gave the people long ago.
-        ― Lenny Bruce
-%
-Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
-%
-Let the machine do the dirty work.
-%
-Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us
-restore to social intercourse that harmony and affection without which
-liberty and even life itself are but dreary things. And let us reflect
-that having banished from our land that religious intolerance under which
-mankind so long bled, we have yet gained little if we countenance a
-political intolerance as despotic, as wicked, and capable of a bitter and
-bloody persecutions.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-Let's give discredit where discredit is due.
-        ― Karl Lehenbauer
-%
-Lewis's Law of Travel:
-        The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to
-        anyone, ever.
-%
-Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
-%
-Liberty is the mother not the daughter of order.
-        ― Proudhon
-%
-Lie: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
-%
-Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
-%
-Lies written in ink can never disguise facts written in blood. Blood debts
-must be repaid in kind. The longer the delay, the greater the interest.
-        ― Chinese author Lu Xun, 1926
-%
-Life in a free society is friendly, prosperous, pleasant, cultured, and
-ever-longer.
-        ― Jeff Daiell, 1989, in counterpoint to Hobbes
-%
-Life in the state of nature is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
-        ― Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan
-%
-Life is a pinball machine. You bounce around for a while, and then you drain.
-        ― Joe Bak
-%
-Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
-%
-Life is full of surprises when you're up th' stream of consciousness
-without a paddle...
-        ― Zippy the Pinhead
-%
-Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find
-there is nothing in it.
-%
-Life is not one thing after another, it's the same damned thing over and over.
-%
-Life is the application of noble and profound ideas to life.
-        ― Matthew Arnold
-%
-Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
-        ― John Wayne
-%
-Life is wasted on the living.
-        ― Zaphod Beeblebrox IV
-%
-Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
-%
-Life's greatest gift is natural talent.
-        ― P. K. Thomajan
-%
-Life. Don't talk to me about life.
-        ― Marvin the Paranoid Anroid
-%
-Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
-sense from things she found in gift shops.
-        ― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
-%
-Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking
-for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.
-        ― Alan McKay
-%
-Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
-%
-Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
-%
-listen: there's a hell of a good universe next door;
-                let's go.
-        ― ee cummings
-%
-Live every day like it's your last because someday you'll be right.
-%
-Live free or die.
-%
-Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip
-around the Sun.
-%
-Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
-%
-Logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells awful.
-%
-Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.
-%
-Long distance runners break into more pants.
-%
-Long life is in store for you.
-%
-Look under the sofa cushion; you will be surprised at what you find.
-%
-Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're
-Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or His
-Dudeness … Duder … or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the
-whole brevity thing.
-        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
-%
-Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.
-        ― D'Hericault
-%
-Los Angeles is a geometropolitan predicament rather than a city. You can no
-more administer it than you could administer the solar system.
-        ― Jonathan Miller
-%
-Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
-        ― Elbert Hubbard
-%
-Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
-%
-Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver."
-%
-Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
-%
-Lowery's Law: If it jams ― force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
-anyway.
-%
-Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
-%
-Luck is probability taken personally.
-        ― Chip Denman
-%
-Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
-        ― E. Letterman
-%
-Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.
-%
-Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
-%
-Machines take me by surprise with great frequency.
-        ― Alan Turing
-%
-Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence ...
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
-%
-Maintainer's Motto: If we can't fix it, it ain't broke.
-%
-Majority: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.
-%
-Make a wish: it might come true.
-%
-Make input easy to proofread
-%
-Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find the
-programmers cannot write in English.
-%
-Make it right before you make it faster.
-%
-Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood.
-        ― D. B. Hudson
-%
-Make sure all variables are initialized before use.
-%
-Make sure comments and code agree.
-%
-Make sure your code "does nothing" gracefully.
-%
-Making files is easy under the UNIX operating system. Therefore, users
-tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space. It
-has been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is
-the message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.
-        ― System V.2 administrator's guide
-%
-Malek's Law: Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.
-%
-Man is a Generalist. Specialization is for insects.
-        ― Lazarus Long
-%
-Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called
-upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Man is a rationalizing animal, not a rational animal.
-        ― R. A. Heinlein
-%
-Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
-only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
-        ― Wernher von Braun
-%
-Man rarely reads the handwriting on the wall until he has his back to it.
-%
-Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
-%
-Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
-%
-Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick
-himself up and carry on...
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
-%
-Mankind has yet to devise a rule that never requires exceptions.
-        ― Wayne Dyer
-%
-Manual, n.: A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a
-given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information
-you need is in the others.
-        ― Ray Simard
-%
-Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.
-%
-Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
-%
-Many are called, few volunteer.
-%
-Many are cold, but few are frozen.
-%
-Many are the wonders of the Universe, and none so wonderful as Mankind!
-        ― Sophocles
-%
-Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
-%
-Many pages make a thick book.
-%
-Many receive advice, few profit from it.
-%
-Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday Afternoon,
-there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday mornings because he
-was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he had been on Monday and how
-completely Mournful he would be on Wednesday ...
-        ― Walt Kelly
-%
-Mark's Dental-Chair Discovery:
-        Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a
-        simple yes or no answer.
-%
-Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-Marshall's generalized iceberg theorem: 7/8ths of everything cannot be seen.
-%
-Martin's Law of Communication: The inevitable result of improved and
-enlarged communication between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly
-increased area of misunderstanding.
-%
-Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a
-receipt.
-%
-Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
-        ― Jules Feiffer
-%
-Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
-        ― R. S. Barton
-%
-McGowan's Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50",
-you can bet it's not $19.95.
-%
-Meader's Law: Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to
-everyone you know, only more so.
-%
-Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
-%
-Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
-        ― Wayne Dyer
-%
-Meditation is not what you think.
-%
-Meeting, n.: An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
-department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
-%
-Memories of you remind me of you.
-        ― Karl
-%
-Memory should be the starting point of the present.
-%
-Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
-%
-Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our
-pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs
-and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires
-us with dread and fear, whether by night or by day, brings us sleeplessness,
-inopportune mistakes, aimless anxieties, absent-mindedness and acts that are
-contrary to habit...
-        ― Hippocrates (c. 460-c. 377 B.C.), The Sacred Disease
-%
-Mencken and Nathan's Fifteenth Law of The Average American:
-        The worst actress in the company is always the manager's wife.
-%
-Mencken and Nathan's Second Law of The Average American:
-        All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.
-%
-Menu: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
-%
-Meskimen's Law: There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
-do it over.
-%
-Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of
-Casablanca.
-%
-Miksch's Law: If a string has one end, then it has another end.
-%
-Mile's Law: where you stand depends on where you sit.
-%
-Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
-        ― Groucho Marx
-%
-Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-        ― Groucho Marx
-%
-Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
-themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-        ― Susan Ertz
-%
-Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is
-almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee,"
-they say, "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a
-President who appoints the people who are going to rummage around in their
-lives for the next four years. Consider all the people who sat home in a
-stew in 1968 rather than vote for Hubert Humphrey. They showed Humphrey.
-Those people who taught Hubert Humphrey a lesson will still be enjoying the
-Nixon Supreme Court when Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads
-among the gold and the black.
-        ― Russel Baker, "Ford without Flummery"
-%
-Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.
-        ― Jean Cocteau
-%
-Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
-%
-Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in?
-Calvin: Denial.
-Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that... 
-%
-Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
-%
-Mister Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
-%
-Mitchell's Law of Committees:
-        Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are
-        held to discuss it.
-%
-Modern man is the missing link between the apes and humans.
-%
-Modesty is an ornament, but you go further without it.
-        ― German Proverb
-%
-Modesty is of no use to a beggar.
-        ― Homer
-%
-Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic
-review and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.
-%
-Money is like a sixth sense, and you can't use the other five without it.
-%
-Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-Morality is one thing. Ratings are everything.
-        ― A Network 23 executive on "Max Headroom"
-%
-More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path
-leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let
-us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-Moses supposes his toeses are roses, but Moses supposes erroneously.
-%
-Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:
-        Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd
-        be out of a job.
-%
-Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot
-if the instructions were printed on the heel.
-%
-Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are
-three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
-        ― Larry Wall
-%
-Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
-%
-Mr. Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
-population is growing.
-%
-Mr. Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
-%
-Mrs Podgorny: Angus how are y'going to get 48,000,000 kilts into the van?
-Angus: I'll have t'do it in two goes.
-%
-Muddy water let stand will clear.
-        ― Chinese Proverb
-%
-Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
-%
-Murphy's Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory.
-%
-My answer is, bring them on.
-        ― George W. Bush, on Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces;
-           Washington, D.C.; July 3, 2003
-%
-My grandson has learned how to hold and carry the cat. He has also learned
-how to flush the toilet. I can't help but believe that in the
-not-too-distant future there will be another lesson in store for him.
-        ― Dave Henry
-%
-My head is bloodied, but unbowed.
-        ― From the poem "Invictus"
-%
-My life is so fucking miserable that I don't know whether I was
-born or if Morrissey just sang me into existence.
-        ― R.K. Milholland
-%
-My mother is a fish.
-        ― William Faulkner
-%
-My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
-%
-My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems,
-and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable.... We should be
-reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is
-indifferent to what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in
-whether or not we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space,
-because the grand, slow march of intelligence has brought us, in our
-generation, to a point from which we can explore and understand and utilize
-it. To turn back now would be to deny our history, our capabilities.
-        ― James A. Michener
-%
-My past is my own.
-        ― The Shadow (DC Comics)
-%
-Naeser's Law: You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof.
-%
-Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature,
-because it is a product what we can find in our neighborhoods.
-        ― George W. Bush, Austin, Texas; December 20, 2000
-%
-Natural selection won't matter soon, not anywhere as much as concious
-selection. We will civilize and alter ourselves to suit our ideas of what
-we can be. Within one more human lifespan, we will have changed ourselves
-unrecognizably.
-        ― Greg Bear
-%
-Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
-character, give him power.
-        ― Abraham Lincoln
-%
-Necessity is a mother.
-%
-Neil Armstrong to Walter Cronkite: "Well, Walter, I believe that the Good
-Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to
-use up mine running up and down a street."
-%
-Neil Armstrong tripped.
-%
-Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
-%
-Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
-%
-Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
-%
-Never drink Coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with
-the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into
-lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the
-window. Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.
-%
-Never insult an alligator until you have crossed the river.
-%
-Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.
-        ― Billy Rose
-%
-Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
-%
-Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
-%
-Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
-%
-Never throw a bird at a dragon.
-%
-Never count your chickens until they rip your lips off.
-%
-New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and
-his wife most often reminds him to act it.
-        ― Webster's Unafraid Dictionary
-%
-New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
-        ― David Letterman
-%
-New boots, big steps.
-        ― Chinese Proverb
-%
-New systems generate new problems.
-%
-Newlan's Truism:
-        An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government
-        economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
-%
-Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
-%
-Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law:
-        A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
-%
-Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't
-have a lucky day this year.
-%
-Next Wednesday you will be presented with a great opportunity.
-%
-Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying
-as an income tax refund.
-        ― F. J. Raymond
-%
-Nihil tam munitum quod non expugnari pecunia possit. (No fort is so strong
-that it cannot be taken with money.)
-        ― Cicero
-%
-Nihilism should commence with oneself.
-%
-No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
-%
-No guts, no glory.
-%
-No man was ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket in
-his pocket, or at least had been fooling around with timetables.
-        ― Archie Goodwin
-%
-No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the Legislature is in
-session.
-        ― Lysander Spooner
-%
-No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up.
-%
-No matter where you go, there you are.
-        ― Buckaroo Banzai
-%
-No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
-%
-No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
-%
-No one is fit to be trusted with power. ... No one. ... Any man who has lived
-at all knows the follies and wickedness he's capable of. ... And if he does
-know it, he knows also that neither he nor any man ought to be allowed to
-decide a single human fate.
-        ― C. P. Snow, The Light and the Dark
-%
-No one is talking behind your back as far as you know.
-%
-No one who accepts the sovereignty of truth can be a foot soldier in a party
-or movement. He will always find himself out of step.
-        ― Sidney Hook
-%
-No one's happiness but my own is in my power to achieve or to destroy.
-        ― Ayn Rand
-%
-No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.
-%
-No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
-%
-No problem is so large it can't be fit in somewhere.
-%
-No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough,
-'twill serve: ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.
-        ― Mercutio, Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene 1
-%
-No user-serviceable parts inside. Refer to qualified service personnel.
-%
-Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
-%
-Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
-        ― Tallulah Bankhead
-%
-Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
-%
-Nobody wants constructive criticism. It's all we can do to put up with
-constructive praise.
-%
-Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations:
-        Negative expectations yield negative results.
-        Positive expectations yield negative results.
-%
-Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
-%
-None love the bearer of bad news.
-        ― Sophocles
-%
-Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
-%
-Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
-%
-Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
-%
-Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced ― even a proverb is no
-proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.
-        ― John Keats
-%
-Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
-%
-Nothing in progression can rest on its original plan. We may as well think of
-rocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant.
-        ― Edmund Burke
-%
-Nothing is as repulsive as phoniness; conversely, nothing is as magnetic
-as reality.
-        ― Howard Henrichs
-%
-Nothing is done until nothing is done.
-%
-Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult
-than to understand him.
-        ― Fyodor Dostoevski
-%
-Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
-        ― Andrew Young
-%
-Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm: It moves stones, and it charms brutes.
-%
-Nothing recedes like success.
-        ― Walt Kelly
-%
-Now and then an innocent man is sent to the Legislature.
-%
-Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.
-%
-O'Riordan's Theorem: Brains x Beauty = Constant.
-Purmal's Corollary: As the limit of (Brains x Beauty) goes to infinity,
-availability goes to zero.
-%
-O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.
-%
-Objects on your screen are closer than they appear.
-%
-Obviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which
-he has based it. Give him the truth and he may still go wrong when he has
-the chance to be right, but give him no news or present him only with
-distorted and incomplete data, with ignorant, sloppy or biased reporting,
-with propaganda and deliberate falsehoods, and you destroy his whole
-reasoning processes, and make him something less than a man.
-        ― Arthur Hays Sulzberger
-%
-Ocean, n.: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for
-man ― who has no gills.
-%
-Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
-        ― Plato
-%
-Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.
-        ― Thomas Paine
-%
-Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.
-%
-Of course, someone who knows more about this will correct me if I'm wrong,
-and someone who knows less will correct me if I'm right.
-        ― David Palmer (palmer@tybalt.caltech.edu)
-%
-Ogden's Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
-%
-Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink again.
-        ― Marvin the Paranoid Android
-%
-Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
-%
-Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
-%
-Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
-        ― Trotsky
-%
-Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
-%
-Oliver's First Law of Computing: Computers are much too complex; they'll
-never work.
-        ― Robert Oliver (circa 1982)
-%
-On a clear disk you can seek forever.
-%
-On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software
-tool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University.
-        ― John Lions (U. of Toronto (?))
-%
-Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were
-forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
-        ― W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
-%
-One Page Principle: A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11-
-inch paper cannot be understood.
-        ― Mark Ardis
-%
-One becomes a critic when one cannot be an artist, just as a man becomes a
-stool pigeon when he cannot be a soldier.
-        ― Gustave Flaubert (letter to Madame Louise Colet, August 12, 1846)
-%
-One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
-%
-One difference between a man and a machine is that a machine is quiet
-when well oiled.
-%
-One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible.
-Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought,
-a rivalry of aim.
-        ― Henry Brook Adams
-%
-One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they
-never have to stop and answer the phone.
-%
-One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
-%
-One may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or
-about the veracity of a given experimenter, but, taking all the supportive
-experiments together, the weight of evidence is so strong as readily to
-merit a wise man's reflection.
-        ― Professor William Tiller, parapsychologist, Stanford University,
-           commenting on psi research
-%
-One millihelen: the unit of beauty required to launch just one ship
-%
-One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible
-from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at
-least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts
-are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but
-when He's good, nobody can touch Him.
-        ― John Gardner, NYT Book Review, Jan 1983
-%
-One of the most misleading representational techniques in our language is
-the use of the word "I".
-        ― Ludwig Wittgenstein
-%
-One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we've been bamboozled
-long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We're no
-longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured
-us. it is simply too painful to acknowledge ― even to ourselves ― that
-we've been so credulous. (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the
-new bamboozles rise.)
-        ― Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,"
-           Parade, February 1, 1987
-%
-One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
-%
-One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh paint.
-%
-One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
-%
-One's mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.
-%
-Only God can make random selections.
-%
-Opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one, but nobody wants to look at
-the other guy's.
-        ― Hal Hickman
-%
-Optimists say the glass is half full, pessimists say the glass is half
-empty, engineers say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
-%
-Optimization hinders evolution.
-%
-Optimization is not some mystical state of grace, it is an intricate act
-of human labor which carries real costs and real risks.
-        ― Tom Neff
-%
-Ordinary people: I fuckin' hate 'em.
-        ― Harry Dean Stanton in "Repo Man"
-%
-Oregon, n.:
-        Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday
-night.
-%
-Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
-Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
-        ― Mike Adams
-%
-Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
-%
-Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,
-hardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science, not
-aboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other dimension.
-        ― Robert A. Baker, "The Aliens Among Us: Hypnotic Regression
-           Revisited", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2
-%
-Our liberty depends upon the freedom of the press, and that cannot be
-limited without being lost.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson (1786)
-%
-Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.
-        ― Roy L. Ash, ex-president Litton Industries
-%
-Out of body, back in five minutes.
-%
-Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too
-dark to read.
-%
-Overdrawn? But I still have checks left!
-%
-Overflow on /dev/null, please empty the bit bucket.
-%
-Overload ― core meltdown sequence initiated.
-%
-PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs,
-whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil perpetrated by skilled but
-perverted professionals.
-        ― Jon Ribbens
-%
-Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
-%
-Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
-%
-Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to
-criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
-        ― D. J. Hicks
-%
-Parking fees that Universal Studios collected from picketers of _The Last
-Temptation of Christ_: $4,500
-        ― Harper's Index Nov. 1988
-%
-Parkinson's Fifth Law: If there is a way to delay in important decision,
-the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
-%
-Parkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to
-increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.
-%
-Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.
-%
-Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
-%
-Benford's Law of Controversy: Passion is inversely proportional to the
-amount of real information available.
-        ― Gregory Benford
-%
-Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
-        ― Eric Hoffer
-%
-Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce
-%
-Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Pay no attention to that man behind the curtains.
-%
-Peace: a period of cheating between two wars.
-%
-People are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange surroundings ―
-they can become accustomed to reading Lisp and Fortran programs, for example.
-        ― Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press
-%
-People get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory.
-%
-People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
-the future.
-%
-People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how
-hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
-        ― Calvin
-%
-People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.
-%
-People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never
-slept in a room with a single mosquito.
-%
-People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage
-of them.
-%
-People who look down on other people do not end up being looked up to.
-%
-People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that
-Benjamin Franklin said it first.
-%
-People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
-%
-Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.
-(Confound those who have said our remarks before us.)
-        ― Aelius Donatus
-%
-Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.
-        ― C. N. Parkinson
-%
-Perpetuo vincit qui utitur clementia. (He is forever victor who employs
-clemency.)
-        ― Syrus
-%
-Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
-        ― E. G. Leter
-%
-Peter's Law of Substitution: Look after the molehills, and the mountains
-will look after themselves.
-%
-Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.
-%
-Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
-%
-pi seconds is a nanocentury.
-        ― Tom Duff
-%
-Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die
-        ― John W. Campbell
-%
-Plagiarism is basic to all culture.
-        ― Papa Seeger
-%
-Plan ahead: it was not raining when Noah built the ark.
-        ― Richard Cushing
-%
-Please don't ask me what the score is. I'm not even sure what the game is.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the
-truth.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-Please go away.
-%
-Please ignore previous fortune.
-%
-Please try to limit the amount of `this room doesn't have any bazingas'
-until you are told that those rooms are `punched out.' Once punched
-out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas,
-and such.
-        ― N. Meyrowitz
-%
-Please update your programs.
-%
-Poetry is nobody's business except the poet's, and everybody else can fuck off.
-        ― Philip Larkin
-%
-Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.
-%
-Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks.
-        ― Willem Dafoe in "Platoon"
-%
-Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell
-all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
-%
-Politician, n.: From the Greek "poly" ("many") and the French "tete"
-("head" or "face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).
-Hence "polytetien", a person of two or more faces.
-        ― Martin Pitt
-%
-Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.
-        ― Leonardo da Vinci
-%
-Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Power is poison.
-%
-Power, n: The only narcotic regulated by the SEC instead of the FDA.
-%
-Practice is the best of all instructors.
-        ― Publilius
-%
-Predestination was doomed from the start.
-%
-Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.
-        ― Niels Bohr
-%
-Preserve the old, but know the new.
-%
-Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.
-%
-Prevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations or
-from a "universal mind" (the repository of all past wisdom and creativity)
-not only are implausible but also unfairly demean the stunning achievements
-of individual human brains.
-        ― Barry L. Beyerstein, "The Brain and Consciousness: Implications for
-           Psi Phenomena", The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2, ppg. 163-171
-%
-Prevent security leaks.
-%
-Pro is to Con as Progress is to Congress.
-%
-Probably the best operating system in the world is the [operating system]
-made for the PDP-11 by Bell Laboratories.
-        ― Ted Nelson, October 1977
-%
-Proclaim liberty throughout the land and to all the inhabitants thereof.
-        ― Leviticus 25:10
-%
-Programming is an art form that fights back.
-%
-Programming is 10% science, 25% ingenuity and 65% getting the ingenuity to
-work with the science.
-%
-Programming is like sex: one mistake and you're providing support for a
-lifetime.
-        ― Michael Sinz
-%
-Progress is nothing but the victory of laughter over dogma.
-        ― Benjamin DeCasseres
-%
-Promptness is its own reward
-If one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
-%
-Pronounce your prepositions, dammit!
-%
-Proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the
-downtrodden, would naturally evolve from dynamic, articulate, spirited
-awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
-        ― David Baker, paraphrasing Harold Urey,
-           in "The History of Manned Space Flight"
-%
-Pull yourself together; things are not all that bad.
-%
-Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
-%
-Put your trust in those who are worthy.
-%
-Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people:
-Those who understand what they do not manage.
-Those who manage what they do not understand.
-%
-Q. What's all wrinkled and hangs out your underwear?
-A. Your mom!
-%
-Q.: "Why do trans-atlantic transfers take so long?"
-A.: "Electrons don't swim very fast."
-%
-Q: How do you play religious roulette?
-A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck
-   by lightning first.
-%
-Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat ?
-A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
-%
-Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to execute a job?
-A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
-%
-Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to do a logical right shift?
-A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
-%
-Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
-A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
-   Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of
-   the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20%
-   of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences
-   of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
-%
-Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A: One and a half.
-%
-Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those
-   Californians trying to share the experience.
-%
-Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself
-   symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a
-   netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin
-   cosmos of nothingness.
-%
-Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
-   light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government
-   plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
-   Prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb-assassin
-   to break the bulb in the first place.
-%
-Q: How many Pro-Lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
-A: Two. One to screw it in and one to say that light started when the
-   screwing began.
-%
-Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
-A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
-%
-Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
-A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
-   brightly-colored power tools.
-%
-Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
-A. Only one, but it takes a really long time and the light bulb has to want
-   to change.
-%
-Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?
-A: Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
-%
-Q: Why did the tachyontac cross the road?
-A: Because it was on the other side.
-%
-Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
-A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.
-%
-Quantity is no substitute for quality, but it's the only one we've got.
-%
-Quoth the Raven, "Never mind."
-%
-Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.
-%
-Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
-%
-Rational people don't go stomping around demanding that the world be
-perfect for them.
-        ― Matthew N. Dodd <winter @ jurai.net>, in comments posted to the
-           freebsd-java mailing list, 6 Feb 2000
-%
-READ UNHAPPY - MAKNAM
-        ― LISP 1.5
-%
-Romeo:   Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
-Mercutio: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church.
-%
-Rage, rage, against the dying of the light!
-        ― Dylan Thomas
-%
-Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
-        ― George W. Bush; Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000
-%
-Ray's Rule of Precision:
-        Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe.
-%
-Re: graphics: A picture is worth 10K words ― but only those to describe the
-picture. Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with
-pictures.
-%
-Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
-%
-Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires
-you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
-wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
-spring up in the middle of the machine room.
-%
-Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
-%
-Real Programs don't use shared text. Otherwise, how can they use
-functions for scratch space after they are finished calling them?
-%
-Real Time, adj.: Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there
-and then.
-%
-Real wealth can only increase.
-        ― R. Buckminster Fuller
-%
-Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than
-being flat broke and having a stomach ache.
-        ― Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
-%
-Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
-%
-Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
-speeds faster than 85 MPH (140k/h).
-        ― presumable misprint from the 1987 Buick Grand National
-           owner's manual.
-%
-Reliable software must kill people reliably.
-        ― Andy Mickel
-%
-Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
-%
-Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for
-every noble enterprise.
-        ― James Madison, in a letter to William Bradford, April 1, 1774
-%
-Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse
-in Cleveland.
-%
-Remember: You cannot drain the ocean with a teaspoon.
-        ― Ignas Bernstein
-%
-Removing the error messages "now that the program is working" is like
-wearing a parachute on the ground, but taking it off once you're in the air.
-        ― Kernighan & Plauger [Software Tools]
-%
-Render unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62.
-%
-Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
-%
-Reporter, n.: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a
-tempest of words.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-        ― Wernher von Braun
-%
-Resisting temptation is easier when you think you'll probably get
-another chance later on.
-%
-Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
-        ― "Oh, Lucky Man"
-%
-Ride the tributaries to reach the sea.
-        ― Arab Proverb
-%
-Rocky's Lemma of Innovation Prevention
-        Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will
-        reject the proposal.
-%
-Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made between alternative
-courses of action, most people will choose the worse one possible.
-%
-Rule of Feline Frustration:
-        When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly
-        content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the
-        bathroom.
-%
-Rule of the Great:
-        When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
-        thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
-%
-Rules for driving in New York:
-        1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
-        2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
-        3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.
-%
-SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out!
-        ― Ken Thompson
-%
-Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proven innocent.
-        ― George Orwell
-%
-Salad is what food eats.
-%
-Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
-%
-Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
-%
-Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OSes is like saying that
-anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.
-        ― Alanna
-%
-Schapiro's Explanation: The grass is always greener on the other side ―
-but that's because they use more manure.
-%
-Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
-without any proof.
-        ― Ashley Montague
-%
-Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
-%
-Scott's First Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.
-%
-Scott's Second Law: When an error has been detected and corrected, it will
-        be found to have been wrong in the first place.
-Corollary: After the correction has been found in error, it will be
-        impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
-%
-See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and
-over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.
-        ― George W. Bush; Greece, New York; May 24, 2005
-%
-Seminars, n.: From "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
-%
-Semper ubi sub ubi.
-%
-Serocki's Stricture: Marriage is always a bachelor's last option.
-%
-Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-        ― M. C. Reed.
-%
-Sex is the poor man's opera.
-        ― G. B. Shaw
-%
-Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go,
-it's one of the best.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-Shake hands with your mother again.
-        ― from an old hymn
-%
-Shaw's Principle:
-        Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
-        want to use it.
-%
-She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic
-candidates for president.
-        ― John Greenway, "The American Tradition", on feminist
-           Elizabeth Gould Davis
-%
-She missed an invaluable opportunity to give him a look that you could
-have poured on a waffle ...
-%
-Short words are best, and the old words when short are best of all.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.
-        ― Martin Mull
-%
-Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is
-playing golf with his boss.
-%
-Silverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
-%
-Simon's Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
-%
-Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
-%
-Skinner's Constant (or Flannagan's Finagling Factor): That quantity which,
-when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you
-get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
-%
-Slime is the agony of water.
-        ― Jean-Paul Sartre
-%
-So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in
-praise of intelligence.
-        ― Bertrand Russell
-%
-So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide and
-our doubts serve to reassure us.
-        ― Jean-Pierre de Caussade, eighteenth-century Jesuit priest
-%
-So where the sheer incompetence of politicians and generals used to start
-wars, the sheer incompetence of us computer people has now put an end to
-it. No mean feat. For centuries humanity has been looking for the Weapon
-That Would End War Forever. We have found it. War has ended, not with the
-bang of a bomb, but with the gentle whisper of crashing software.
-        ― Gerard Stafleu (gerard@uwovax.uwo.ca)
-%
-So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here.
-        ― Biff in "Back to the Future"
-%
-Socialism is power, power, and more power.
-        ― Oswald Spengler, Hitler's intellectual forebear
-%
-Society is the presumption of habit over instinct.
-        ― Peter Taylor
-%
-Sodd's Second Law: Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is
-bound to occur.
-%
-Software entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human
-construct because no two parts are alike. If they are, we make the two
-similar parts into a subroutine ― open or closed. In this respect, software
-systems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where
-repeated elements abound.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
-'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take
-all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover.
-        ― Bill Gates, President, Microsoft, Inc.
-%
-Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
-        ― Arnold Glasow
-%
-Some men are discovered; others are found out.
-%
-Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
-people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
-        ― Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
-%
-Some people fall for everything and stand for nothing.
-%
-Some people hope to achieve immortality through their works or their children.
-I would prefer to achieve it by not dying.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit
-them on the head.
-%
-Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall
-instead of using it
-        ― Gordon R. Dickson
-%
-Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they
-should live next door and just visit now and then.
-        ― Katherine Hepburn
-%
-Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
-        ― Sigmund Freud
-%
-Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem.
-%
-Sometimes the only way out of a difficulty is through it.
-%
-Sometimes, too long is too long.
-        ― Joe Crowe
-%
-Spark's Sixth Rule for Managers: If a subordinate asks you a pertinent
-question, look at him as if he had lost his senses. When he looks down,
-paraphrase the question back at him.
-%
-Speak softly and carry a +6 two-handed sword.
-%
-Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am sure
-that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging,
-cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster. Allocate an array and free the
-middle third? Sure! Why not? Multiply a character string times a bit
-string and assign the result to a float decimal? Go ahead! Free a
-controlled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before passing it
-back? Overlay three different types of variable on the same memory
-location? Anything you say! Write a recursive macro? Well, no, but Real
-Men use rescan. How could a language so obviously designed and written by
-Real Men not be intended for Real Man use?
-%
-Spiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal
-power should not become too important in any church.
-        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
-%
-Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
-%
-Stay out of the road, if you want to grow old.
-        ― Pink Floyd
-%
-Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming
-        Never test for an error condition you don't know how to
-        handle.
-%
-Stock brokers invest your money until it's all gone.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-Stop searching. Happiness is right next to you. Now, if it'd only take a bath.
-%
-Stult's Report: Our problems are mostly behind us. What we have to do now is
-fight the solutions.
-%
-Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
-%
-Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-%
-Success is a journey, not a destination.
-%
-Success is not free. Neither is failure.
-        ― Ray Kroc
-%
-Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss
-of enthusiasm.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-Success is what happens when something goes right.
-        ― Arnold Glasow
-%
-Successful and fortunate crime is called virtue.
-        ― Seneca
-%
-Succumb to natural tendencies. Be hateful and boring.
-%
-Superiority is always detested.
-        ― Balasar Gracian
-%
-Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest
-men in national government too.
-        ― Richard M. Nixon
-%
-Swipple's Rule of Order: He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
-%
-TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-        ― Frank Lloyd Wright
-%
-Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a
-hole in his head.
-%
-Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
-%
-Tact is the great ability to see other people as they think you see them.
-%
-Tact, n.: The unsaid part of what you're thinking.
-%
-Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
-%
-Take everything in stride. Trample anyone who gets in your way.
-%
-Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
-enough cheese.
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it
-needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
-        ― Kipling
-%
-Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
-        ― Ken Kesey
-%
-Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind
-the tree."
-        ― Russell Long
-%
-Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he
-grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
-%
-Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means
-for going backwards.
-        ― Aldous Huxley
-%
-Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe
-you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and he'll have to touch it
-to be sure.
-%
-Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.
-        ― R. Geis
-%
-Than self restraint, there is nothing better.
-        ― Lao Tzu
-%
-That 150 lawyers should do business together ought not to be expected.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson, on the U.S. Congress.
-%
-That government is best which governs least.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-That government is best which governs not at all.
-        ― Henry David Thoreau
-%
-That is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended ― civilizations
-are built up ― excellent institutions devised; but each time something
-goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and cruel people to
-the top, and then it all slides back into misery and ruin. In fact, the
-machine conks. It seems to start up all right and runs a few yards, and
-then it breaks down.
-        ― C. S. Lewis
-%
-That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
-        ― Thoreau
-%
-That which is not good for the swarm, neither is it good for the bee.
-%
-That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they
-really hate is lousy programmers.
-        ― Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in "Oath of Fealty"
-%
-The Abrams' Principle: The shortest distance between two points is off the
-wall.
-%
-The Briggs/Chase Law of Program Development: To determine how long it will
-take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that
-by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.
-%
-The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach
-their children to speak it.
-        ― G. B. Shaw
-%
-The Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.
-%
-The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided
-by the number of people in the group.
-%
-The Idea is like grass. It craves light, likes crowds, thrives on
-cross-breeding, grows better for being stepped on.
-        ― Ursula K. LeGuin, "The Dispossessed"
-%
-The Kennedy Constant: Don't get mad ― get even.
-%
-The Law of Software Envelopment (at MIT): Every program at MIT attempts to
-expand until it can read mail. Those programs which cannot expand are
-replaced by ones which can.
-%
-The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
-to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
-        ― Anatole France
-%
-The Official MBA Handbook on business cards: Avoid overly pretentious job
-titles such as "Lord of the Realm, Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India"
-or "Director of Corporate Planning."
-%
-The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
-right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
-        ― Dorothy Nevill
-%
-The Roman Rule: The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the
-one who is doing it.
-%
-The Swartzberg Test: The validity of a science is its ability to predict.
-%
-The Third Law of Photography: If you did manage to get any good shots, they
-will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all
-of the dark leaks out.
-%
-The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
-%
-The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and
-religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging
-from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its
-yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the
-world put together.
-        ― Sir Peter Medawar
-%
-The United States has entered an anti-intellectual phase in its history,
-perhaps most clearly seen in our virtually thought-free political life.
-        ― David Baltimore
-%
-The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by
-people who want some.
-        ― Dwight MacDonald
-%
-The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the―the vast majority
-of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these
-people and we will bring them to justice.
-        ― George W. Bush, Washington, D.C.; October 28, 2003
-%
-The angels wanna wear my red shoes.
-%
-The applause of a single human being is of great consequence.
-        ― Samuel Johnson
-%
-The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
-%
-The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
-%
-The author should gaze at Noah, and ... learn, as they did in the Ark, to crowd
-a great deal of matter into a very small compass.
-        ― Sydney, Smith, Edinburgh Review
-%
-The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
-average man can see better than he can think.
-%
-The best cure for anger is delay.
-        ― Seneca
-%
-The best prophet of the future is the past.
-%
-The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
-fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
-drifting side by side to our common doom.
-        ― Clarence Darrow
-%
-The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off
-by a bit.
-        ― Anonymous
-%
-The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
-%
-The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.
-        ― Anonymous
-%
-The better part of maturity is knowing your goals.
-        ― Arnold Glasow
-%
-The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse
-time.
-        ― Merrick Furst
-%
-The chain that can be yanked is not the cosmic chain.
-        ― Cal Keegan
-%
-The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up
-at the steam fitters' picnic.
-%
-The chief barrier to happiness is envy.
-        ― Frank Tyger
-%
-The chief cause of problems is solutions.
-        ― Eric Sevareid, CBS Evening News, December 29, 1970
-%
-The city of the dead antedates the city of the living.
-        ― Lewis Mumford
-%
-The clothes have no emperor.
-        ― C. A. Hoare, about Ada.
-%
-The complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one.
-Hence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity
-often abstract away its essence.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
-        ― Alan Perlis
-%
-The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems
-and solutions we can imagine is very close. For this reason restricting
-language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best
-dangerous.
-        ― Bjarne Stroustrup in "The C++ Programming Language"
-%
-The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is
-none of my business, but ―" is to place a period after the word "but."
-Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period.
-Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you
-talked about.
-        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
-%
-The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
-%
-The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going
-down.
-%
-The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold,
-persistent experimentation.
-        ― Franklin Delano Roosevelt
-%
-The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
-        ― John McNulty
-%
-The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being
-as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of
-the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the
-dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with
-this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine
-doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of
-us who are fortunate enough never to have been one ― like watching
-Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.
-%
-The debate rages on: Is PL/I Bachtrian or Dromedary?
-%
-The decision didn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
-%
-The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
-%
-The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius has limits.
-%
-The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science
-requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
-        ― Robert Heinlein
-%
-The difference between sympathy and empathy is three letters: "yes".
-        ― P. Taylor
-%
-The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere
-in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths,
-Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in
-Christianity.
-        ― John Adams
-%
-The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
-%
-The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
-        ― Buckminster Fuller
-%
-The end of labor is to gain leisure.
-%
-The end of the world will occur at 3:00 p.m., this Friday, with
-symposium to follow.
-%
-The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.
-        ― Horace
-%
-The evolution of the human race will not be accomplished in the ten thousand
-years of tame animals, but in the million years of wild animals, because man
-is and will always be a wild animal.
-        ― Charles Galton Darwin
-%
-The existence of god implies a violation of causality.
-%
-The fact that it works is immaterial.
-        ― L. Ogborn
-%
-The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
-%
-The fancy is indeed no other than a mode of memory emancipated from the order
-of space and time.
-        ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge
-%
-The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.
-        ― Roger Levian
-%
-The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
-%
-The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of a project
-takes 90% of the time.
-%
-The first and great commandment is: Do not let them scare you.
-        ― Elmer Davis
-%
-The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
-        ― Abbie Hoffman
-%
-The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-        ― Paul Erlich
-%
-The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation.
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
-        ― Alan Coult
-%
-The following statement is true.
-The previous statement is false.
-%
-The fountain code has been tightened slightly so you can no longer dip objects
-into a fountain or drink from one while you are floating in mid-air due to
-levitation.
-
-Teleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur if the
-character does not have fire resistance.
-
-        ― README file from the NetHack game
-%
-The fourth law of thermodynamics:
-The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
-%
-The fundamentalists, by "knowing" the answers before they start [examining
-evolution], and then forcing nature into the straitjacket of their
-discredited preconceptions, lie outside the domain of science―-or of any
-honest intellectual inquiry.
-        ― Stephen Jay Gould, Bully for Brontosaurus (1990)
-%
-The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
-%
-The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-%
-The gentlemen looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
-%
-The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at
-least until we've finished building it.
-%
-The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
-The goal of nature is to build better mice.
-%
-The government of the United States is not in any sense founded
-on the Christian Religion.
-        ― George Washington (The Treaty of Tripoli)
-%
-The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
-%
-The greatest warriors are the ones who fight for peace.
-        ― Holly Near
-%
-The hand that rocks the cradle can also cradle a rock.
-        ― Feminist saying, circa 1968-1972
-%
-The hardest thing to open is a closed mind.
-        ― Leo Burnett
-%
-The heart has no rainbows when the eye has no tears.
-%
-The hell with the Prime Directive: let's kill something.
-%
-The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent
-thinkers.
-%
-The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for
-lists of "Ten Best".
-        ― H. Allen Smith
-%
-The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity
-― the rest is overhead for the operating system.
-%
-The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange
-protein ― it rejects it.
-        ― P. Medawar
-%
-The hypothesis: Amid a wash of paper, a small number of documents become the
-critical pivots around which every project's management revolves. These are the
-manager's chief personal tools.
-        ― Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to
-lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the
-fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into
-it in the first place.
-        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
-%
-The ideal is impossible. The idea of the ideal is essential.
-        ― P. Taylor
-%
-The inability to benefit from feedback appears to be the primary cause of
-pseudoscience. Pseudoscientists retain their beliefs and ignore or distort
-contradictory evidence rather than modify or reject a flawed theory. Because
-of their strong biases, they seem to lack the self-correcting mechanisms
-scientists must employ in their work.
-        ― Thomas L. Creed, "The Skeptical Inquirer," Summer 1987
-%
-The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important
-point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly
-important thing to people.
-        ― Donald N. Smith, president of Burger King
-%
-The Internet? Is that thing still around?
-        ― Homer Simpson
-%
-The Internet is the most powerful stupidity amplifier ever invented. It’s
-like television without the television part.
-        —- James “Kibo” Perry
-%
-The lame in the path outstrip the swift who wander from it.
-        ― Francis Bacon
-%
-The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.
-        ― Blaise Pascal
-%
-The life of a repo man is always intense.
-%
-The life of money-making is one undertaken under compulsion, and wealth is
-evidently not the good we are seeking, for it is merely useful for the sake
-of something else.
-        ― Aristotle
-%
-The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
-%
-The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching
-train.
-%
-The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get
-much sleep.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.
-        ― Henry Kissinger
-%
-The love of money is only one among many.
-        ― Alfred Marshall
-%
-The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
-%
-The main thing is the play itself. I swear that greed for money has nothing
-to do with it, although heaven knows I am sorely in need of money.
-        ― Feodor Dostoyevsky
-%
-The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be. ...
-The natural disposition is always to believe. It is acquired wisdom and
-experience only that teach incredulity, and they very seldom teach it
-enough.
-        ― Adam Smith
-%
-The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the
-crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no
-one has ever been.
-        ― Alan Ashley-Pitt
-%
-The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
-%
-The marvels of today's modern technology include the development of a soda
-can, when discarded will last forever; and a $20,000 car which, when
-properly cared for, will rust out in two or three years.
-%
-The meek are contesting the will.
-%
-The meek shall inherit the earth ― they are too weak to refuse.
-%
-The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
-        ― J. Paul Getty
-%
-The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us will go to the stars.
-%
-The meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
-%
-The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
-        ― Tenessee Williams
-%
-The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
-%
-The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and
-robbers there will be.
-        ― Lao Tsu
-%
-The more things change, the more they stay insane.
-%
-The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
-%
-The more we disagree, the more chance there is that at least one of us
-is right.
-%
-The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
-        ― Andy Warhol
-%
-The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
-discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."
-        ― Isaac Asimov
-%
-The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to
-correlate all its contents.
-        ― H. P. Lovecraft
-%
-The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around. I
-hope I don't get run over again.
-%
-The next six days are dangerous.
-%
-The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
-choose from.
-        ― Andrew S. Tanenbaum
-%
-The notion of a "record" is an obsolete remnant of the days of the
-80-column card.
-        ― Dennis M. Ritchie
-%
-The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly analyze
-all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have
-answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when
-called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators it is
-difficult to remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
-%
-The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
-%
-The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when
-to cringe.
-%
-The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
-%
-The only good bug is a dead bug.
-But the best bug is the one that wasn't there to begin with.
-%
-The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the
-`social sciences' is: some do, some don't.
-        ― Ernest Rutherford
-%
-The only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop
-and take a rest.
-%
-The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
-        ― Edmund Burke
-%
-The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any
-use to oneself.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
-%
-The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.
-        ― Brian Kernighan
-%
-The opossum is a very sophisticated animal. It doesn't even get up
-until 5 or 6 pm.
-%
-The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a
-profound truth may well be another profound truth.
-        ― Niels Bohr
-%
-The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
-        ― Bohr
-%
-The optimum committee has no members.
-        ― Norman Augustine
-%
-The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because
-it isn't here.
-        ― Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley)
-%
-The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato
-chip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food
-market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose
-        ― James Finke, President, Commodore Int'l Ltd. (1982)
-%
-The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter. The batter
-swang and missed. The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the
-batter connected. He hit a high fly right to the center fielder. The
-center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute
-his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.
-        ― Dizzy Dean
-%
-The plural of spouse is spice.
-%
-The police are not there to create disorder.  The police are there to
-preserve disorder.
-        ― The late Richard J. Daly, Mayor of the city of Chicago
-%
-The power to destroy a planet is insignificant when compared to the power of
-the Force.
-        ― Darth Vader
-%
-The price of greatness is responsibility.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate
-knowledge of its ugly side.
-        ― James Baldwin
-%
-The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
-constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
-appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
-statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This
-also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
-        ― FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers
-%
-The probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the
-stupidity of your action.
-%
-The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go
-to erase it.
-        ― Glaser and Way
-%
-The problem with being best man at a wedding is that you never get a
-chance to prove it.
-%
-The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be
-pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
-        ― Elizabeth Taylor
-%
-The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
-%
-The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
-%
-The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-
-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the
-imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and
-rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-The purpose of most meetings seems to be to get as much human meat as possible
-into one room.
-        ― James Iry, via Twitter
-%
-The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong ―
-but that's the way to bet.
-        ― Damon Runyon
-%
-The rain it raineth on the just
-        And also on the unjust fella,
-But chiefly on the just, because
-        The unjust steals the just's umbrella.
-%
-The reason ESP, for example, is not considered a viable topic in
-contemporary psychology is simply that its investigation has not proven
-fruitful...After more than 70 years of study, there still does not exist
-one example of an ESP phenomenon that is replicable under controlled
-conditions. This simple but basic scientific criterion has not been met
-despite dozens of studies conducted over many decades... It is for this
-reason alone that the topic is now of little interest to psychology... In
-short, there is no demonstrated phenomenon that needs explanation.
-        ― Keith E. Stanovich, "How to Think Straight About Psychology",
-           pp. 160-161
-%
-The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.
-%
-The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our
-behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel.
-        ― Steve Furtick
-%
-The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
-persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all
-progress depends on the unreasonable man.
-        ― George Bernard Shaw
-%
-The revolution will not be televised.
-%
-The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
-        ― Emerson
-%
-The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
-This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
-%
-The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
-This means that only left-handed people are in their right minds.
-%
-The road to to success is always under construction.
-        ― Florian Bruckner
-%
-The secret cement of any organization is trust.
-        ― Donald E. Walker
-%
-The shell must break before the bird can fly.
-        ― Alfred, Lord Tennyson
-%
-The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
-        ― Noelie Altito
-%
-The silly question is the first intimation of some totally new development.
-%
-The so-called "desktop metaphor" of today's workstations is instead an
-"airplane-seat" metaphor. Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while
-seated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference ― one can
-see only a very few things at once.
-        ― Fred Brooks, Jr.
-%
-The solution to a problem changes the problem.
-        ― J. Martin
-%
-The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.
-        ― Ed Bluestone
-%
-The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
-%
-The steady state of disks is full.
-        ―Ken Thompson
-%
-The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study
-of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it
-proceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and
-it admits of no conclusion.
-        ― Thomas Paine, from The Age of Reason
-%
-The subject matter of research is no longer nature in itself, but nature
-subjected to human questioning . . .
-        ― Werner Heisenberg
-%
-The sun was shining on the sea,
-Shining with all his might:
-He did his very best to make
-The billows smooth and bright ―
-And this was very odd, because it was
-The middle of the night.
-        ― Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
-%
-The superfluous is very necessary.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
-        ― Xenophon
-%
-The tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long time
-to come. One can expect the human race to continue attempting systems just
-within or just beyond our reach; and software systems are perhaps the most
-intricate and complex of man's handiworks. The management of this complex
-craft will demand our best use of new languages and systems, our best
-adaptation of proven engineering management methods, liberal doses of common
-sense, and ... humility to recognize our fallibility and limitations.
-        ― Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month
-%
-The Three Laws of Thermodynamics
-The First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
-The Second Law: The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
-The Third Law: You can only break even at absolute zero.
-%
-The time is right to make new friends.
-%
-The trouble with a kitten is that
-When it grows up, it's always a cat
-        ― Ogden Nash.
-%
-The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
-%
-The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing
-more important to do.
-%
-The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
-appreciates how difficult it was.
-%
-The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer
-is doing until it's too late.
-        ― Seymour Cray
-%
-The trouble with us in America isn't that the poetry of life has turned to
-prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.
-        ― Louis Kronenberger
-%
-The truth is that all those having power ought to be mistrusted.
-        ― James Madison
-%
-The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And
-vice versa.
-%
-The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic
-light table for cutting and pasting documents.
-%
-The universe is laughing behind your back.
-%
-The unnatural, that too is natural.
-        ― Goethe
-%
-The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
-regarded as a criminal offense.
-        ― E. W. Dijkstra (1982)
-%
-The vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense that
-high aims are worth-while. Vigorous societies harbor a certain
-extravagance of objectives, so that men wander beyond the safe provision of
-personal gratifications. All strong interests easily become impersonal,
-the love of a good job well done. There is a sense of harmony about such
-an accomplishment, the Peace brought by something worth-while.
-        ― Alfred North Whitehead, 1963, in "The History of Manned Space
-           Flight"
-%
-The way to make a small fortune in the stock market is to start with a
-large one.
-%
-The Web is like a dominatrix. Everywhere I turn, I see little buttons
-ordering me to Submit.
-        ― Nytwind
-%
-The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
-        ― Wavy Gravy
-%
-The wife you save may be your own.
-        ― Unofficial slogan of supporters of one of FDR's sons,
-           a notorious womanizer, during the son's first congressional race
-%
-The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
-%
-The world is a fantasy, so let's find out about it.
-        ― Astrophysicist Dennis Sciama, to Timothy Ferris (quoted in
-           Ferris's book, "The Mind's Sky")
-%
-The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
-%
-[The World Wide Web is] the only thing I know of whose shortened
-form―www―takes three times longer to say than what it's short for.
-        ― attributed to Douglas Adams
-%
-The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who think the world is
-divided into two kinds of people and those who do not.
-%
-The world is no nursery.
-        ― Sigmund Freud
-%
-The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls.
-        ― Father Robert F. Capon
-%
-The world will not recognize your talent until you demonstrate it.
-%
-The world's as ugly as sin,
-And almost as delightful
-        ― Frederick Locker-Lampson
-%
-The worst form of failure is the failure to try.
-%
-The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of
-four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all
-the answers.
-%
-Theorem: A cat has nine tails. Proof: No cat has eight tails. A cat has one
-tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
-%
-There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
-%
-There are 10 types of people who understand binary: The ones who do, and
-the ones who don't.
-%
-There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
-        ― Winston Churchill
-%
-There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
-and praiseworthy ...
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-There are no bugs, only unrecognized features.
-%
-There are no giant crabs in here, Frank.
-%
-There are no saints, only unrecognized villains.
-%
-There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always
-bitch about and those nobody uses.
-        ― Bjarne Stroustrup
-%
-There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both
-plants and animals. When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
-and when the lights go out, they turn into animals. But then again,
-don't we all?
-%
-There are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary and those who don't.
-%
-There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
-        ― Heisenberg
-%
-There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
-        ― Disraeli
-%
-There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire
-someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
-%
-There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life:
-"The Lord of the Rings" and "Atlas Shrugged". One is a childish fantasy
-that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes,
-leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to
-deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
-        ― John Rogers (kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2009/03/ephemera-2009-7.html)
-%
-There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make
-it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to
-make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
-        ― Charles Anthony Richard Hoare
-%
-There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.
-%
-There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true. The other
-is to refuse to accept what is true.
-        ― Søren Kierkegaard
-%
-There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a
-suitable application of high explosives.
-%
-There can be no offense where none is taken.
-        ― Japanese proverb
-%
-There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
-        ― Henry Kissinger
-%
-There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing
-about.
-%
-There is a bear following you around.
-%
-There is a decivilizing bug somewhere at work; unconsciously persons of
-stern worth, by not resenting and resisting the small indignities of the
-times, are preparing themselves for the eventual acceptance of what they
-themselves know they don't want.
-        ― attributed to E.B. White
-%
-There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of
-paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.
-%
-There is no "Complete Idiot's Guide to Creationism," but perhaps one is not
-needed.
-        ― Andrei Codrescu, on NPR Aug. 25, 1999
-%
-There is no excuse for the use of the word "synergies" on any project where
-common sense and straight talking are the norm.
-        ― Paul Robinson <paul @ iconoplex.co.uk>, in a post to the
-           FreeBSD-Hackers mailing list, 17 July, 2003
-%
-There is some sort of perverse pleasure in knowing that it's basically
-impossible to send a piece of hate mail through the Internet without its
-being touched by a gay program. That's kind of funny.
-        ― Eric Allman
-%
-There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage
-and security to all, but especially to democracies as against despots. What
-is it? Distrust.
-        ― Demosthenes: Philippic 2, sect. 24.
-%
-There is a time in the tides of men,
-Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
-On the other hand, don't count on it.
-        ― T. K. Lawson
-%
-There is danger in delaying, good fortune in acting.
-%
-There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing the
-rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries civilization
-will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements. We must provide a Great
-Age or see the collapse of the upward striving of the human race.
-        ― Alfred North Whitehead
-%
-There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
-%
-There is no idea so sacred that it cannot be questioned, analyzed...
-and ridiculed.
-        ― Cal Keegan
-%
-There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to
-attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So
-it is written in the genetic cards ― only physics and war hold him in
-check. And also the wife who wants him home by five, of course.
-        ― Encyclopadia Apocrypha, 1990 ed.
-%
-There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it
-        ― G. B. Shaw
-%
-There is no statute of limitations on stupidity.
-        ― Randomly produced by a computer program called Markov3.
-%
-There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes.
-%
-There is no such thing as not enough time if you are doing what you want to do.
-%
-There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
-%
-There is no time like the pleasant.
-%
-There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
-%
-There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.
-        ― Swift
-%
-There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to
-do great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way.
-        ― Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
-%
-There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and
-that is not being talked about.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it
-would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
-%
-There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a howling
-away at the sons of his father and going blurp blurp in between as if it were
-a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to
-see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was.
-        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
-%
-There were in this country two very large monopolies. The larger of the
-two had the following record: the Vietnam War, Watergate, double- digit
-inflation, fuel and energy shortages, bankrupt airlines, and the 8-cent
-postcard. The second was responsible for such things as the transistor,
-the solar cell, lasers, synthetic crystals, high fidelity stereo recording,
-sound motion pictures, radio astronomy, negative feedback, magnetic tape,
-magnetic "bubbles", electronic switching systems, microwave radio and TV
-relay systems, information theory, the first electrical digital computer,
-and the first communications satellite. Guess which one got to tell the
-other how to run the telephone business?
-%
-There will always be survivors.
-        ― Robert Heinlen
-%
-There will be big changes for you, but you will be happy.
-%
-There you go man,
-Keep as cool as you can.
-It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.
-Keep on being free!
-%
-There's a bug somewhere in your code.
-%
-There's a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.
-%
-There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
-%
-There's always someone, somewhere,
-with a big nose, who knows
-and who trips you up and laughs
-when you fall.
-        ― The Smiths
-%
-There's at least one fool in every married couple.
-%
-There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
-%
-There's more than one way to skin a cat:
-        Way number 15 ― Krazy Glue and a toothbrush.
-%
-There's more than one way to skin a cat:
-        Way number 27 ― Use an electric sander.
-%
-There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear
-playing the clarinet.
-%
-There's no future in time travel
-%
-There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one
-thing always leading to another.
-        ― E. B. White
-%
-There's no place like home.
-%
-There's no place like $HOME.
-%
-There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
-        ― Dr. Who
-%
-There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right
-keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
-        ― J. S. Bach
-%
-There's nothing wrong with America that a good erection wouldn't cure.
-        ― David Mairowitz
-%
-There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn
-what it is I'll get married again.
-        ― Clint Eastwood
-%
-There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is
-becoming an endangered synthetic.
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-These patriots don't mince words... Okay, sure, they ARE dangerous,
-hopelessly ignorant, inbred, retarded borderline lunatics with an
-insatiable lust for the blood of sinners ― but at least they're HONEST
-about it.
-        ― Reverend Ivan Stang, cofounder of the Church of the Subgenius,
-           about a group known as Free Love Ministries, in his book _High
-           Weirdness By Mail_
-%
-They [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach
-of daylight and scowl on the fatal harbinger announcing the subversions
-of the duperies on which they live.
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-They also surf who only stand on waves.
-%
-They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!
-%
-Things are always at their best in the beginning.
-        ― Pascal
-%
-Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower
-%
-Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
-%
-Things are not as simple as they seems at first.
-        ― Edward Thorp
-%
-Things won't get any better, so get used to it.
-%
-Think honk if you're a telepath.
-%
-This fortune intentionally not included.
-%
-This fortune is false.
-%
-This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.
-%
-This fortune will self destruct in 5 years.
-%
-This isn't brain surgery; it's just television.
-        ― David Letterman
-%
-This space unintentionally left blank.
-%
-This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks ― to have
-a system so complete and sophisticated that nothing showed; no machines,
-no wires, no controls.
-        ― Michael Swanwick, "Vacuum Flowers"
-%
-Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of
-doing you good, you should run for your life.
-        ― Attributed to Thoreau by William H. Whyte, Jr., in
-           The Organization Man (1956)
-%
-Those of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to whatever
-church he sees fit, and to worship God in his own way, cannot be accused
-of prejudice when we do not want to see public education connected with
-religious control of the schools, which are paid for by taxpayers' money.
-        ― Eleanor Roosevelt
-%
-Those who are quick in deciding are in danger of being mistaken.
-        ― Sophocles
-%
-Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of
-Silly Putty.
-        ― Dennis Rawlins, astronomer
-%
-Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their
-hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt,
-without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in
-the God idea, not God Himself.
-        ― Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish philosopher and writer
-%
-Those who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them.
-%
-Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
-%
-Those who can't repeat the past are condemned to remember it.
-        ― Mark O'Donnell
-%
-Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
-        ― Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hacker
-%
-Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents,
-for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
-        ― Aristotle
-%
-Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose.
-%
-Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
-revolution inevitable.
-        ― John F. Kennedy
-%
-Those who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know.
-%
-Those who want the Government to regulate matters of the mind and spirit
-are like men who are so afraid of being murdered that they commit suicide
-to avoid assassination.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-Throw out your gold teeth / And see how they roll.
-The answer they reveal: / Life is unreal.
-        ― Steely Dan
-%
-Time and tide wait for no man.
-%
-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-%
-Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
-        ― Graffiti
-%
-Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
-%
-Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
-%
-Time wounds all heels.
-%
-Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is
-writing a book.
-        ― Cicero
-%
-Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
-        ― Frank Lloyd Wright
-%
-To be awake is to be alive.
-        ― Henry David Thoreau, in "Walden Pond"
-%
-To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
-%
-To be is to program.
-%
-To be overbusy is a witless task.
-        ― Sophocles
-%
-To be perfect is to have changed often.
-        ― J. H. Newman
-%
-To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the
-target.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-To be wrong all the time is an effort, but some manage it.
-        ― William Feather
-%
-To be, or what?
-        ― Sylvester Stallone
-%
-To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the
-competent.
-%
-To do easily what is difficult for others is the mark of talent.
-        ― H. F. Amiel
-%
-To downgrade the human mind is bad theology.
-        ― C. K. Chesterton
-%
-To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its programmer.
-        ― Morris Kingston
-%
-To err is human, to forgive divine.
-%
-To follow foolish precedents, and wink
-With both our eyes, is easier than to think.
-        ― William Cowper
-%
-To invent products out of thin air, you don't ask people what they want ―
-after all, who would've told you ten years ago that they needed a CD
-player? You ask them what problems they have when they get up in the
-morning.
-        ― Robert Hall, Sr. Vice President, GVO, as quoted in the December,
-           1991, issue of Fortune
-%
-To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
-        ― Thomas Edison
-%
-To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
-%
-To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a
-deep delight of the blood.
-        ― Georges Santayana
-%
-To know the world one must construct it.
-        ― Cesare Pavese
-%
-To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
-%
-To program anything that is programmable is obsession.
-%
-To program is to be.
-%
-To steal from a thief is not theft. It is merely irony.
-        ― Zorro, while retrieving money taxed from Californians
-%
-To steal from one person is theft. To steal from many is taxation.
-        ― Daiell's Law (a take-off on Felson's Law)
-%
-To teach is to learn.
-%
-To those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional
-system development, exploratory development techniques may seem messy,
-inelegant, and unsatisfying. But it's a question of congruence: precision
-and flexibility may be just as disfunctional in novel, uncertain situations
-as sloppiness and vacillation are in familiar, well-defined ones. Those
-who admire the massive, rigid bone structures of dinosaurs should remember
-that jellyfish still enjoy their very secure ecological niche.
-        ― Beau Sheil, "Power Tools for Programmers"
-%
-Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
-%
-Today is the last day of your life so far.
-%
-Too clever is dumb.
-        ― Ogden Nash
-%
-Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
-        ― Mae West
-%
-Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.
-%
-Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
-%
-True innovation often comes from the small startup who is lean enough to
-launch a market but lacks the heft to own it.
-        ― Timm Martin
-%
-Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind.
-        ― Percy Bysshe Shelley
-%
-Truthful, adj.: Dumb and illiterate.
-        ― Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
-%
-Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
-        ― Charles Schulz
-%
-Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
-        ― Ashleigh Brilliant
-%
-Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
-specification is that it should run noiselessly.
-%
-Turnaucka's Law: The attention span of a computer is only as long as its
-electrical cord.
-%
-Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
-%
-Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.
-        ― Howard Kandel
-%
-Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.
-%
-Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
-%
-UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
-%
-UFOs are for real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist.
-%
-Uncertain fortune is thoroughly mastered by the equity of the calculation.
-        ― Blaise Pascal
-%
-Uncle Ed's Rule of Thumb:
-        Never use your thumb for a rule. You'll either hit it with a
-        hammer or get a splinter in it.
-%
-Uncompensated overtime? Just Say No.
-%
-Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some
-ordinance under which you can be booked.
-        ― Robert D. Sprecht (Rand Corp)
-%
-Under deadline pressure for the next week. If you want something, it
-can wait. Unless it's blind screaming paroxysmally hedonistic ...
-%
-Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:
-        Superiority is recessive.
-%
-United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the
-Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of
-all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of
-all the patriots of every persuasion.
-
-Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time low over the
-world.
-        ― Isaac Asimov
-%
-Universe, n.: The problem.
-%
-University, n.: Like a software house, except the software's free, and it's
-usable, and it works, and if it breaks they'll quickly tell you how to fix it.
-%
-UNIX *is* user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
-        ― unknown
-%
-Unless one is a genius, it is best to aim at being intelligible.
-        ― Anthony Hope
-%
-Unless you are very rich and very eccentric, you will not enjoy the luxury of
-a computer in your own home.
-        ― Edward Yourdon, 1975.
-%
-Use GOTOs only to implement a fundamental structure.
-%
-Use debugging compilers.
-%
-Use free-form input where possible.
-%
-Use library functions.
-%
-Use the Force, Luke.
-%
-Useful knowledge is a great support for intuition.
-        ― Charles B. Rogers
-%
-Users of a tool are willing to meet you halfway; if you do ninety percent
-of the job, they will be ecstatic.
-        ― Software Tools, p.136.
-%
-VMS isn't an operating system, it's a playpen for DEC system programmers.
-        ― Herb Blashtfalt
-%
-Van Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
-%
-Variables won't. Constants aren't.
-%
-Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:
-        1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only
-            once.
-        2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data
-            points.
-%
-Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.
-%
-Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
-%
-Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
-        ― Salvor Hardin
-%
-Vique's Law:
-A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
-%
-Virtue is its own punishment.
-%
-Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
-from where you left them to where you can't find them.
-%
-Vitamin C deficiency is apauling
-%
-Volcano - a mountain with hiccups.
-%
-Vote anarchist.
-%
-Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the
-fact you're a goddamn moron.
-        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
-%
-War is menstruation envy.
-%
-Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
-%
-Wasting time is an important part of living.
-%
-Watch out for off-by-one errors.
-%
-We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.
-        ― Whole Earth Catalog
-%
-We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.
-%
-We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
-        ― Walt Kelly, "Pogo"
-%
-We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
-        ― Dwight D. Eisenhower
-%
-We are not alone.
-%
-We are what we pretend to be.
-        ― Kurt Vonnegut, JR
-%
-We call our dog Egypt, because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
-%
-We can defeat gravity. The problem is the paperwork involved.
-%
-We can't let children think it's okay to dress up like Vikings and go
-around hollering.
-        ― Dogbert, on opera
-%
-We can't schedule an orgy, it might be construed as fighting
-        ― Stanley Sutton
-%
-We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you.
-%
-We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company.
-%
-We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.
-        ― John Culkin
-%
-We don't want to discourage the innovators and those who take risks because
-they're afraid of getting sued by a lawsuit.
-        ― George W. Bush; Washington, D.C.; June 24, 2004
-%
-We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
-For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
-Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
-This day shall gentle his condition:
-And gentlemen in England now a-bed
-Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
-And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
-That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
-        ― King Henry V, "Henry V", Act IV, Scene 3
-%
-We have met the enemy and he is us
-        ― Walt Kelly (in POGO)
-%
-We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
-%
-We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always
-respect their good judgement.
-%
-We must all hang together, or we will surely all hang separately.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin
-%
-They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
-deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-        ― Benjamin Franklin  
-%
-We must remember the First Amendment which protects any shrill jackass
-no matter how self-seeking.
-        ― F. G. Withington
-%
-We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
-%
-We want to create puppets that pull their own strings.
-        ― Ann Marion
-%
-We were spanking each other with meat and then suddenly it got weird.
-        ― Joe Hacket
-%
-We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one
-technical problem ― how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
-%
-We work to become, not to acquire.
-        ― Elbert Hubbard
-%
-We'll be a great country where the fabrics are made up of groups and
-loving centers.
-        ― George W. Bush, Kalamazoo, Michigan; March 27, 2001
-%
-We're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.
-        ― Rufus T. Firefly, in "Duck Soup"
-%
-We're here to give you a computer, not a religion.
-        ― attributed to Bob Pariseau, at the introduction of the Amiga
-%
-We're the weirdest monkeys ever.
-        ― Karl Lehenbauer
-%
-We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center
-of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week,
-but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
-        ― Andy Rooney
-%
-Wear me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong
-as death, passion cruel as the grave; it blazes up like blazing fire, fiercer
-than any flame.
-        [Song of Solomon 8:6 (NEB)]
-%
-Weiler's Law:
-        Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
-%
-Weinberg's First Law: Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
-%
-Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers
-wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy
-civilization.
-%
-Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
-%
-Welcome to the human race, with its wars, disease and brutality.
-        ― Chrissie Hynde (The Pretenders), "Show Me"
-%
-Welcome to The Machine.
-%
-Welcome to the working week.
-I know it don't thrill you
-I hope it don't kill you.
-%
-Well, I killed my own grandfather and here I am! Guess there's no paradox
-when time travel isn't involved.
-        ― Andrew Kennedy
-%
-Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in
-poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come
-and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!
-        ― Alex in "Clockwork Orange"
-%
-Well, you see, it's such a transitional creature. It's a piss-poor
-reptile and not very much of a bird.
-        ― Melvin Konner, from "The Tangled Wing", quoting a zoologist who has
-        studied the archeopteryx and found it "very much like people"
-%
-Were there fewer fools, knaves would starve.
-        ― Anonymous
-%
-Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently
-save a couple of hours in the library.
-%
-Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
-%
-What a waste it is to lose one's mind ― or not to have a mind at all.
-How true that is.
-         ― V.P. Dan Quayle, garbling the United Negro College Fund slogan
-            in an address to the group (from Newsweek, May 22nd, 1989)
-%
-What are you doing wrong with our bug-free product?
-%
-What cannot be eaten must be civilized.
-        ― Peter Taylor
-%
-What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!
-        ― Bill Kirchenbaum, comedian
-%
-What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
-%
-What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
-%
-What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes.
-%
-What is a magician but a practising theorist?
-        ― Obi-Wan Kenobi
-%
-What is mind? No matter.
-What is matter? Never mind.
-        ― Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875
-%
-What is the difference between the modern computer and a Turing machine?
-It's the same as that between Hillary's ascent of Everest and the
-establishment of a Hilton on its peak.
-%
-What is tolerance? ― it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed
-of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly ―
-that is the first law of nature.
-        ― Voltaire
-%
-What is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.
-%
-What is virtue today may be vice tomorrow.
-%
-What is worth doing is worth delegating.
-%
-What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do.
-%
-What makes the Universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing
-to compare it with.
-%
-What publishers are looking for these days isn't radical feminism. It's
-corporate feminism ― a brand of feminism designed to sell books and
-magazines, three-piece suits, airline tickets, Scotch, cigarettes and, most
-important, corporate America's message, which runs: "Yes, women were
-discriminated against in the past, but that unfortunate mistake has been
-remedied; now every woman can attain wealth, prestige and power by dint of
-individual rather than collective effort."
-        ― Susan Gordon
-%
-What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
-        ― Ursula K. LeGuin
-%
-What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
-%
-What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
-%
-What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
-%
-What this calls for is a special blend of psychology and extreme violence.
-        ― Vyvyan Basterd, "The Young Ones"
-%
-What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.
-%
-What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
-%
-What this country needs is a good five cent microcomputer.
-%
-What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
-%
-What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
-        ― Peter S. Beagle, "The Last Unicorn"
-%
-What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
-        ― Bengamin Disraeli
-%
-What we do not understand we do not possess.
-        ― Goethe
-%
-What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?
-%
-What, me worry?
-%
-What boots it at one gate to make defence,
-And at another to let in the foe?
-        ― John Milton, Samson Agonistes (l. 560)
-%
-Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
-        ― Collis P. Huntingdon
-%
-When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
-ladies, and, of course, the goat.
-%
-When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
-it on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality.
-        ― Al Capone
-%
-When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now
-I'm beginning to believe it.
-        ― Clarence Darrow
-%
-When I was in my twenties, not shaving for a few days gave me a cool Don
-Johnson/Miami Vice look. Now that I'm in my forties, though, it tends to
-make me look more like Otis from Mayberry.
-        ― Tom Gray
-%
-When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into
-the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
-        ― Woody Allen
-%
-When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
-%
-When Yahweh your gods has settled you in the land you're about to occupy, and
-driven out many infidels before you...you're to cut them down and exterminate
-them. You're to make no compromise with them or show them any mercy.
-[Deut. 7:1 (KJV)]
-%
-When a Banker jumps out of a window, jump after him ― that's where the
-money is.
-        ― Robespierre
-%
-When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the
-thing," it's the money.
-        ― Kim Hubbard
-%
-When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
-%
-When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is
-not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space
-travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
-        ― Robert Heinlein
-%
-When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the
-sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain
-relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
-        ― Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
-%
-When all other means of communication fail, try words.
-%
-When asked, "If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United
-States, then why do you live here?" Mencken replied, "Why do men go to zoos?"
-%
-When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
-an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
-        ― Edmund Burke
-%
-When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried
-before.
-        ― Mae West
-%
-When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask? Well, last year, I
-think it was a Tuesday.
-%
-When everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four more
-months of work to do.
-        ― C. Portman of ICL Ltd.
-%
-When in doubt, do what the President does ― guess.
-%
-When in doubt, lead trump.
-%
-When in doubt, punt.
-%
-When in doubt, use brute force.
-        ― Ken Thompson
-%
-When love is gone, there's always justice.
-And when justice is gone, there's always force.
-And when force is gone, there's always Mom.
-Hi, Mom!
-        ― Laurie Anderson
-%
-When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
-        ― Calvin Coolidge
-%
-When people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought
-the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the
-earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your
-view is wronger than both of them put together.
-        ― Isaac Asimov, "The Relativity of Wrong",
-           The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 14 No. 1, Fall 1989
-%
-When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only
-say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
-        ― Alan J. Perlis
-%
-When the government bureau's remedies do not match your problem, you
-modify the problem, not the remedy.
-%
-When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
-%
-When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most
-insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are
-required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and
-exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.
-        ― George Bernard Shaw
-%
-When we are ignorant of the answer to an important question, one way
-to proceed is to ask which path of inquiry promises best to facilitate
-learning.
-        ― Timothy Ferris, "The Mind's Sky: Human Intelligence in a
-           Cosmic Context."
-%
-When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is
-not hereditary.
-        ― Thomas Paine
-%
-When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find
-anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,
-two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the
-history of war have so few been led by so many.
-        ― General James Gavin
-%
-When you are alone you are all your own.
-        ― Leonardo da Vinci
-%
-When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
-%
-When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
-%
-When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.
-        ― The Wall Street Journal
-%
-Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".
-        ― Dave Parnas
-%
-Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
-        ― Oscar Wilde
-%
-Where a new invention promises to be useful, it ought to be tried
-        ― Thomas Jefferson
-%
-Where humor is concerned there are no standards ― no one can say what
-is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
-        ― John Kenneth Galbraith
-%
-Where is it written in the Constitution that you may take children from their
-parents, and parents from their children, and compel them to fight the battles
-of any war in which the folly or wickedness of government may engage it?
-        ― Daniel Webster, 1814
-%
-Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
-%
-Wherever you go, there you are.
-        ― Buckaroo Banzai
-%
-Whether you can hear it or not
-The Universe is laughing behind your back
-        ― National Lampoon, "Deteriorada"
-%
-While Europe's eye is fix'd on mighty things,
-The fate of empires and the fall of kings;
-While quacks of State must each produce his plan,
-And even children lisp the Rights of Man;
-Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,
-The Rights of Woman merit some attention.
-        ― Robert Burns, Address on "The Rights of Woman",
-                   November 26, 1792
-%
-While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is
-admission to someone else.
-%
-While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own
-form of misery.
-%
-While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never
-does.
-%
-While you don't greatly need the outside world, it's still very reassuring to
-know that it's still there.
-%
-Whipit! Whipit good!
-%
-Whistler's Law:
-        You never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge.
-%
-Who has more leisure than a worm?
-        - Seneca
-%
-Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
-%
-Who made the world I cannot tell;
-'Tis made, and here am I in hell.
-My hand, though now my knuckles bleed,
-I never soiled with such a deed.
-        ― A. E. Housman
-%
-Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and masturbate?
-%
-Who works achieves and who sows reaps.
-        ― Arab Proverb
-%
-Who's on first?
-%
-Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
-%
-Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
-        ― Book of Proverbs
-%
-Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to
-avoid responsibility with?
-%
-Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently
-there must be a beverage.
-        ― Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"
-%
-Why does opportunity always knock at the least opportune moment?
-%
-Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that
-happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told
-it to the same person?
-        ― La Rochefoucauld
-%
-Why is it that there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
-        ― G. Gordon Liddy
-%
-Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
-%
-Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
-        ― Lily Tomlin
-%
-Wiker's Law: Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.
-%
-Wiker's Law:
-        Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
-%
-Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
-        ― George W. Bush, Concord, NH; January 29, 2000
-%
-Williams and Holland's Law:
-        If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by
-        statistical methods.
-%
-Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
-it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
-%
-With all the fancy scientists in the world, why can't they just once
-build a nuclear balm?
-%
-With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
-%
-With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand
-miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and
-still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no
-such thing as progress.
-        ― Ransom K. Ferm
-%
-With friends like these, who need hallucinations?
-%
-With great effort, you move the rug aside, revealing a trap door.
-%
-Without coffee he could not work, or at least he could not have worked in
-the way he did. In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere
-as an indispensable article of equipment the coffee machine, which was no
-less important to him than his table or his white robe.
-        ― Stefan Zweigs, Biography of Balzac
-%
-Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
-%
-Words are the voice of the heart.
-%
-Words must be weighed, not counted.
-%
-Worst Vegetable of the Year: The brussels sprout.
-This is also the worst vegetable of next year.
-        ― Steve Rubenstein
-%
-Wozencraft's Law: If you make all of your plans on the assumption that a
-particular thing won't happen―it will.
-%
-Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave
-robbing and beneath managing.
-        ― Gerald Weinberg
-%
-Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
-%
-Writing in C or C++ is like running a chain saw with all the safety guards
-removed.
-        ― Bob Gray
-%
-Writing programs needs genius to save the last order or the last millisecond.
-It is great fun, but it is a young man's game. You start it with great
-enthusiasm when you first start programming, but after ten years you get a
-bit bored with it, and then you turn to automatic-programming languages and
-use them because they enable you to get to the heart of the problem that you
-want to do, instead of having to concentrate on the mechanics of getting the
-program going as fast as you possibly can, which is really nothing more than
-doing a sort of crossword puzzle.
-        ― Christopher Strachey, 1962
-%
-Xerox does it again and again and again and ...
-%
-Xerox never comes up with anything original.
-%
-XML is just data with that Internet shit wrapped around it.
-        ― Joe Romello, by way of Steve Sapovits
-%
-Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
-%
-Yes, but which self do you want to be?
-%
-Yes, many primitive people still believe this myth...But in today's technical
-vastness of the future, we can guess that surely things were much different.
-        ― The Firesign Theater
-%
-Yes, we have no bonanzas.
-%
-Yesterday upon the stair
-I met a man who wasn't there.
-He wasn't there again today ―
-I think he's from the CIA.
-%
-Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
-        ― Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
-%
-Yinkel, n.: A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one
-will notice.
-        ― Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
-%
-You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
-        ― Al Capone
-%
-You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
-%
-You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
-the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
-        ― Alan Perlis
-%
-You can never get all the facts from just one newspaper, and unless you
-have all the facts, you cannot make proper judgements about what is going on.
-        ― Harry S Truman
-%
-You can observe a lot just by watching.
-        ― Yogi Berra
-%
-You can often profit from being at a loss for words.
-        ― Frank Tyger
-%
-You can take all the impact that science considerations have on funding
-decisions at NASA, put them in the navel of a flea, and have room left
-over for a caraway seed and Tony Calio's heart.
-        ― F. Allen
-%
-You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of
-supercomputers.
-        ― Steven Feiner
-%
-You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
-%
-You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
-%
-You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-%
-You can't get there from here.
-%
-You can't have great software without a great team, and most software teams
-behave like dysfunctional families.
-        ― Jim McCarthy
-%
-You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
-%
-You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic
-enough worrying about what's happening now.
-        ― Lauren Bacall
-%
-You can't teach self-esteem. Self-esteem arises from attempting challenging
-tasks and mastering them.
-%
-You can't underestimate the power of fear.
-        ― Tricia Nixon
-%
-You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.
-%
-You cannot build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-        ― Henry Ford
-%
-You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
-%
-You cannot succeed by criticizing others.
-%
-You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.
-        ― Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict
-%
-You don't have to explain something you never said.
-        ― Calvin Coolidge
-%
-You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
-        ― J. D. Salinger
-%
-You know, you really half give me a buzz.
-        ― Stevie Ray Vaughan, "Honey Bee" (from "Couldn't Stand the Weather")
-%
-You know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the United
-States? Because your hackers have so much mobility into the establishment.
-Here, there is no such mobility. If you have the slightest bit of
-intellectual integrity you cannot support the government.... That's why the
-best computer minds belong to the opposition.
-        ― an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity
-%
-You may call me by my name, Wirth, or by my value, Worth.
-        ― Nicklaus Wirth
-%
-You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.
-        ― Alfred Kahn
-%
-You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
-%
-You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
-%
-You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you.
-I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but
-we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.
-        ― J. Wellington Wells
-%
-You see but you do not observe.
-        ― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, in "The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes"
-%
-You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
-if they are dead.
-%
-You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
-freedom and liberty.
-        ― Henrick Ibson
-%
-You're never too old to become younger.
-        ― Mae West
-%
-Your attitude determines your attitude.
-        ― Zig Ziglar, self-improvement doofus
-%
-Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you
-from enjoying it.
-%
-Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
-%
-Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
-%
-Your reality is lies and balderdash, and I'm glad to say that I have no grasp
-of it.
-        ― Baron von Munchausen
-%
-Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
-%
-Youth is the trustee of posterity.
-%
-Youth is wasted on the young.
-        ― George Bernard Shaw
-%
-Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is
-when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation.
-%
-Zero Defects, n.: The result of shutting down a production line.
-%
-Zimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.
-%
-Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words
-since I first called my brother's father dad.
-        ― William Shakespeare, "King John"
-%
-Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor:
-        People are always available for work in the past tense.
-%
-[In the U. S. Army] An officer does not take an oath of loyalty to the
-Commander-in-Chief.  He takes an oath of loyalty to the Constitution.
-        ― Sam Donaldson
-%
-[Leslie Stahl was] a pussy compared to Rather.
-        ― George H. W. Bush
-%
-grep me no patterns and I'll tell you no lines.
-%
-After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare
-%
-All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They
-never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced
-upon them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.
-%
-A man who can laugh, if only at himself, is never really miserable.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
-%
-College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the
-faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the
-trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and
-necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss to humanity.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
-%
-Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by
-Jackasses.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the
-black flag, and begin slitting throats.
-        ― H.L. Mencken
-%
-Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
-improbable.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a
-well-known solution to every human problem — neat, plausible, and wrong.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "The Divine Afflatus" (16 November 1917)
-%
-Equality before the law is probably forever inattainable. It is a noble
-ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is
-not rights but privileges.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
-%
-Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
-improbable.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, "Prejudices: Third Series", 1922
-%
-For one American husband who maintains a chorus girl in Levantine luxury
-around the corner, there are hundreds who are as true to their oaths, year
-in and year out, as so many convicts in the deathhouse.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, In Defense of Women, 1922.
-%
-I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind―that
-its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been
-more than overborne by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "Forum" (September, 1930)
-%
-I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Judge: a law student who marks his own examination papers.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955
-%
-Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-        ― attributed to H. L. Mencken
-%
-Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry
-later. For another thing, they die earlier.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.
-%
-My guess is that well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through
-life without ever having a single original thought. That is to say, they
-never think anything that has not been thought before, and by thousands. A
-society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought
-would probably be unendurable. The pressure of ideas would simply drive it
-frantic.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
-%
-Never let your inferiors do you a favor. It will be extremely costly.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
-%
-No government is ever really in favor of so-called civil rights. It always
-tries to whittle them down. They are preserved under all governments,
-insofar as they survive at all, by special classes of fanatics, often
-highly dubious.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
-%
-No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-        ― Attributed to H.L. Mencken.
-%
-Nowhere in the world is superiority more easily attained, or more eagerly
-admitted. The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up
-of heroes, mainly bogus.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1923.
-%
-Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
-roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
-forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
-the railroad yards.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan,
-           counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution
-           law at the Scopes "Monkey Trial" in 1925.
-%
-Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to
-the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the
-congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives
-were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we
-lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites?
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "Prejudices, Fourth Series" (1924)
-%
-The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater
-than that of any other animal.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof
-that God is a bore.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, "The Aesthetic Recoil," American Mercury, July, 1931.
-%
-The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even
-ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man―that is, virtuous in the YMCA
-sense―has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony
-worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that
-the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1919.
-%
-The highfalutin aims of democracy, whether real or imaginary, are always
-assumed to be identical with its achievements. This, of course, is sheer
-hallucination. Not one of those aims, not even the aim of giving every
-adult a vote, has been realized. It has no more made men wise and free than
-Christianity has made them good.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
-%
-The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not
-true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy, 1949.
-%
-The notion that science does not concern itself with first causes―that
-it leaves the field to theology or metaphysics, and confines itself to mere
-effects―this notion has no support in the plain facts. If it could,
-science would explain the origin of life on earth at once ― and there is
-every reason to believe that it will do so on some not too remote tomorrow.
-To argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be
-filled, not by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply
-to give ignorance a gratuitous and preposterous dignity....
-        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930
-%
-The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear―fear of the unknown,
-the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants beyond everything else is safety.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices, 1920.
-%
-The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only
-opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts
-at rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of
-knowledge a serpent ― slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest
-days the church as an organization has thrown itself violently against every
-effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and
-everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad
-laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an
-apologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence
-clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of
-hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
-however marvelous it may seem today, will remain forever inexplicable.
-Soon or late the laws governing the production of life itself will be
-discovered in the laboratory, and man may set up business as a creator on
-his own account. The thing, indeed, is not only conceivable; it is even
-highly probable.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, 1930
-%
-To sum up: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions
-a minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the
-theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, Coda from "Smart Set", 1920
-%
-When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of
-sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that
-they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save
-the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and
-whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted,
-the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on
-the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can
-most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The
-Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected,
-the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We
-move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of
-the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be
-adorned by a downright moron.
-        ― H. L. Mencken
-%
-When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
-%
-When A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a
-scoundrel.
-        ― H. L. Mencken, "Newspaper Days: 1899-1906" (1941)
-%
-Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country it is a sign that
-he expects to be paid for it.
-        ― H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," The Vintage Mencken, 1955.
-%
-From Fronto I learned to observe what envy, and duplicity, and hypocrisy are
-in a tyrant, and that generally those among us who are called Patricians are
-rather deficient in paternal affection.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book I
-%
-The time of a man's life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the
-sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
-%
-That [life] which is longest of duration, and that which is shortest, both
-come to one effect.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
-%
-You must, therefore, hasten, not only because you are every day nearer to
-death, but also because your intellect, which enables you to know the true
-nature of things and to order all your actions by that knowledge, wastes and
-decays daily―or, may fail you before you die.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book II
-%
-Never esteem of anything as profitable, which shell ever constrain thee to
-break thy faith, or to lose thy modestroy; to hate any man, to suspect to
-curse, to dissemble, to lust after anything, that requireth the secret of
-walls or veils.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III
-%
-He who prefers, before all things, his rational part and spirit... he shall
-never lament and exclaim; never sigh; he shall never want either solitude
-or company; and, which is chiefest of all, he shall live without either
-desire or fear.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book III
-%
-Let no act be done without a purpose, nor otherwise than according to the
-perfect principles of art.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Take away your opinion, and you then take away the complaint, "I have been
-harmed." Take away the complaint, "I have been harmed," and the harm is taken
-away.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Many grains of frankincense on the same altar: one falls before, another falls
-after; but it makes no difference.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over
-you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbour says or
-does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Everything which is in any way beautiful is beautiful in itself, and
-terminates in itself, not having praise as part of itself. Neither worse,
-then, nor better is a thing made by being praised.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-The words which were formerly familiar are now antiquated: so also the names
-of those who were famed of old, are now in a manner antiquated... For all
-things soon pass away and become a mere tale, and complete oblivion soon
-buries them.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Everything is only for a day, both that which remembers and that which is
-remembered.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Thou art a little soul bearing about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say. 
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream;
-for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in
-its place, and this will be carried away too.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break, but it
-stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IV
-%
-How easy it is to repel and to wipe away every impression which is troublesome
-or unsuitable, and immediately to be in all tranquility.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V
-%
-To seek what is impossible is madness: and it is impossible that the bad
-should not do something of this kind.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book V
-%
-The best way of avenging yourself is not to become like the wrong-doer.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI
-%
-If any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act
-right, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth by which no man was ever
-injured. But he is injured who abides in his error and ignorance.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VI
-%
-Let not future things disturb you, for you will come to them, if it shall be
-necessary, having with you the same reason which you now use for present
-things.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VII
-%
-Receive wealth or prosperity without arrogance; and be ready to let it go.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book VIII
-%
-He often acts unjustly who does not do a certain thing; not only he who does a
-certain thing.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX
-%
-It is your duty to leave another man's wrongful act there, where it is.
-        ― Marcus Aurelius, "The Meditations", Book IX
-%
-America is a ball of Appalachia with a thin coating of civility.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-American justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk
-to make your point.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-America has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley
-blowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-But in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and
-pretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-I am waiting for the "Internet Beermeister," so hackers can wage a
-"Denial of Cerveza" attack.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Money doesn't stretch―if somebody makes a killing, somebody else loses
-his shirt.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Never work anywhere where you can't find the guy in charge and break his nose.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Nothing is more dangerous than a man whose actions are the responsibility
-of his deity.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Some people hold their noses when used as toilet paper by the shadowy
-overlords; some people inhale the heady aroma with gusto.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Those who sacrifice liberty for the sake of safety deserve neither, but those
-who sacrifice creativity for safety end up with a velvet painting of Elvis.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Windows is a manifestation of commerce; Unix is a manifestation of culture.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Working in Windows is like baking moose shit pie. Sure, you're baking pies, but
-look what's in 'em.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-I prefer the company of men without ovaries.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-The American business executive resembles the Ferengi more each day. In another
-20 years, there will be dorm rooms full of toothless hillbillies at the Amazon
-fulfillment centers and the Walmarts.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Be cautious of those who give you advice. That's my advice to you.
-        ― Steve Mayr
-%
-If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Sounds like a plan.
-        ― Steve Mayr
-%
-If you take the easy way out, nothing will come easy.
-        ― Steve Mayr
-%
-By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child
-whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor
-scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently,
-by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who
-believe it.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that
-these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them
-together is certain death.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and
-cross it deliberately.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say
-the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would've made our arms shorter.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you
-Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your butt. And it translates to
-"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were
-praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone
-said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire,
-but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
-        ― George Carlin
-%
-American justice is measured by the amount of money you are willing to risk
-to make your point.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-America has become a tired old whore, selling her institutions like back alley
-blowjobs to fat cat businessmen for their pocket change.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-But in the end I remind myself that people are merely shaved apes, and
-pretty much spend their time masturbating and throwing feces.
-        ― Rich Simons
-%
-Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned ― I
-support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you
-exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to
-share your dogma, rapture or necrodestination.
-        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
-%
-Don't eat yellow snow.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Hey, you know something, people? I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of
-times I wish I could say I'm not white.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else
-that has ever happened, and vice versa.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your
-mother, your Dad, your priest, to some guy on television, to any of the
-people telling you how to do your shit, then you *deserve* it. If you
-want to be a schmuck, be a schmuck ― but don't wait around for respect
-from other people ― a schmuck is a schmuck.
-        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
-%
-In the future, etiquette will become more and more important. That doesn't
-mean knowing which fork to pick up ― I mean basic consideration for the
-rights of other animals (human beings included) and the willingness,
-whenever practical, to tolerate the other guy's idiosyncrasies.
-        ― Frank Zappa, "The Real Frank Zappa Book"
-%
-Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or a Sears poncho?
-Hmmm... No fooling.
-        ― Frank Zappa, "Camarillo Brillo"
-%
-Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't
-talk for the people who can't read.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child
-is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom;
-Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love;
-Love is not music; Music is the best.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to
-the Bible? Who wins?
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma,
-like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave
-baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a
-person could get excited about playing the bassoon.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-The Book says BURN and DESTROY repent and redeem and revenge and deploy and
-rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum 'cause they don't go
-for what's in the Book and that makes 'em BAD.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact
-mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history.
-The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is,
-"All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was
-going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your
-fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer
-shelf life.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful,
-that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.
-        ― Frank Zappa
-%
-Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.
-        ― Randall Munroe, xkcd
-%
-There's no such thing as bad language. I don't believe that any more. That's
-ridiculous. They call it a "debasing of the language?" No! We are adults.
-These are the words that WE use, to express frustration, rage, anger―in
-order that we don't pick up a tire iron and beat the shit out of someone.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit
-looking in the mirror at itself.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-There is a big difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament,
-and that is, the New Testament God is kind of a great guy (He is!), especially
-when you compare him to the Old Testament God, who is a prick.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-The reason you should go to Las Vegas is because, for only the second time,
-the second time, ever, they have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah. It's back!!
-And you have the opportunity to see it before it turns to salt. And you
-wanna get out there before the Christian Right finds out what we're up to
-and shits all over it.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-[The Weather Channel] is the most watched cable channel in America. I'll
-repeat that. It is the most watched cable channel in America. They were
-worried about the terrorists immobilizing us, and a portion of our
-countrymen watch weather. 'Kay, you don't get any more immobile than
-that... unless you're in a goddamn coma. That means you're saying, "I'd go
-to the window, but it's too far." If you want to know what the weather is
-you go to a window and stick your hand out and if you want to know what the
-temperature is you drive by a bank.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't sell
-soy juice, so they called it soy milk. Because anytime you say soy juice,
-you actually... start to gag.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-You don't want another Enron? Here's the law: If you have a company, and it
-can't explain, in one sentence... what it does... it's illegal!
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the
-Republicans are completely worthless.
-        ― Lewis Black
-%
-If mzero doesn't need to be a single, unambiguous value, then the algebra
-of monads would seem to be a bit hinky.
-        ― A tweet from @djspiewak (Daniel J. Spiewak)
-%
-A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what's the problem?
-        ― Saunders Mac Lane, filtered through James Iry
-%
-Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
-        ― Confucius
-%
-Rotten wood cannot be carved.
-        ― Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Chapter 9)
-%
-Men's natures are alike. It is their habits that carry them far apart.
-        ― Confucius
-%
-Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
-        ― Confucius
-%
-It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.
-        ― Confucius
-%
-We like to think we spend most of our time power-typing. "I'm being productive,
-I'm writing programs!" But, we don't. We spend most of our time looking into
-the abyss, saying, "My God, what have I done?"
-        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
-%
-"That hardly ever happens" is another way of saying, "It happens".
-        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
-%
-I used to think everyone should learn programming. When I first starting
-programming...I thought, "Wow, this is such an amazing way to organize
-information! Everybody should learn to do this!" I don't think that any more. I
-think there has to be something seriously wrong with you, in order to do this
-work. A normal person, once they've looked into the abyss, will say, "I'm done.
-This is stupid. I'm going to go to something else." But not us, 'cause there's
-something really wrong with us.
-        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
-%
-Confusion must be avoided. Confusion is the enemy. Confusion is what causes
-bugs and security mishaps and all the other things that make us miserable.
-        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
-%
-Write [code] in a way that clearly communicates your intent.
-        ― Douglas Crockford, during his keynote at YUIConf 2011
-%
-Geriatric Relativity: The observation that time goes faster the older you get.
-        ― Brian M. Clapper
-%
-Critical thinking is the antidote to gullibility and credulity, which explains
-why politicians aren't fond of critical thinking.
-        ― Brian M. Clapper
-%
-There's a certain freedom in being so tired that you just can't possibly do
-another thing.
-        ― Brian M. Clapper
-%
-The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to
-be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his
-hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the
-addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive.
-        ― Sam Harris, Letter to a Christian Nation
-%
-Man is manifestly not the measure of all things. This universe is shot through
-with mystery. The very fact of its being, and of our own, is a mystery
-absolute, and the only miracle worthy of the name.
-        ― Sam Harris, "The End of Faith"
-%
-What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which
-she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence
-and ignorance . . . Ask yourself: how has "elitism" become a bad word in
-American politics? There is simply no other walk of life in which extraordinary
-talent and rigorous training are denigrated. We want elite pilots to fly our
-planes, elite troops to undertake our most critical missions, elite athletes to
-represent us in competition and elite scientists to devote the most productive
-years of their lives to curing our diseases. And yet, when it comes time to
-vest people with even greater responsibilities, we consider it a virtue to shun
-any and all standards of excellence. When it comes to choosing the people whose
-thoughts and actions will decide the fates of millions, then we suddenly want
-someone just like us, someone fit to have a beer with, someone down-to-earth—in
-fact, almost anyone, provided that he or she doesn't seem too intelligent or
-well educated.
-        ― Sam Harris
-%
-Unreason is now ascendant in the United States—in our schools, in our courts,
-and in each branch of the federal government.
-        ― Sam Harris, "The Politics of Ignorance" (2005)
-%
-The point at which we fully acquire our humanity, and our capacity to suffer,
-remains an open question, but anyone who would dogmatically insist that these
-traits must arise coincident with the moment of conception has nothing to
-contribute, apart from his ignorance, to this debate.
-        ― Sam Harris
-%
-Water is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. This seems as value-free an
-utterance as human beings ever make. But what do we do when someone doubts the
-truth of this proposition? Ok, all we can do is appeal to scientific values.
-The value of understanding the world. The value of evidence. The value of
-logical consistency. What if someone says, “Well, that’s not how I choose to
-think about water. Ok, what can we say to such a person? Ok, all we can do is
-appeal to scientific values. And if he doesn’t share those values, the
-conversation is over. Ok, if someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are
-you going to provide to prove that they should value it? If someone doesn’t
-value logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of
-logic?
-        ― Sam Harris, during a Notre Dame debate with William Lane Craig
-%
-I love living in the future. ― Bill Cheswick
-%
-Sendmail(8) proved that if you polish a turd long enough, you may eventually
-end up with a shiny coprolite.
-        ― Bill Cheswick
-%
-Salad is what food eats. ― Bill Cheswick
-%
-Angels we have heard on High/Tell us to go out and Buy.
-        ― Tom Lehrer
-%
-The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
-Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
-and color, but also on ability.
-        ― Tom Lehrer
-%
-If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something
-nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been
-worth the while.
-        ― Tom Lehrer
-%
-I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out
-what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise
-George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them.
-        ― Tom Lehrer (2003)
-%
-I basically like "comments," though they can seem a little jarring: spit-
-flecked rants that are appended to a product that at least tries for a measure
-of objectivity and dignity. It's as though when you order a sirloin steak, it
-comes with a side of maggots.
-        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist
-%
-I disagree with those who suggest that we permanently close down the U.S. mail
-on the grounds that it can kill you. That is sheer hysteria. I think we should
-permanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that it has been making us
-sick for quite a while.
-        ― Gene Weingarten, Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist
-%
-Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
-account be allowed to do the job.
-        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B
-very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People
-living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder
-what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to
-get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A
-are so keen to get THERE. They often wish that people would just once and for
-all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
-        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western
-Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a
-distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant
-little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly
-primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...
-        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha
-Centauri were REAL small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were
-brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the
-Empire forged.
-        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Douglas Adams
-%
-Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big
-it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's,
-but that's just peanuts to space.
-        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-The word "spine" is, of course, an anagram of "penis". This is true in almost
-fifty percent of the languages of the Galaxy, and many people have attempted to
-explain why. Usually these explanations get bogged down in silly puns about
-"standing erect".
-        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the
-Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced
-by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which
-states that this has already happened.
-        ― Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-With a rubber duck, one's never alone.
-        ― "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
-%
-Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. 
-        ― Madeleine L'Engle
-%
-That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how
-obvious they've been all along. 
-        ― Madeleine L'Engle
-%
-When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no
-longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive
-is to be vulnerable.
-        ― Madeleine L'Engle
-%
-Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth,
-you are.
-        ― Madeleine L'Engle
-%
-A good photograph is knowing where to stand.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-Dodging and burning are steps to take care of mistakes God made in
-establishing tonal relationships.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of
-exploration.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-These people live again in print as intensely as when their images were
-captured on old dry plates of sixty years ago... I am walking in their alleys,
-standing in their rooms and sheds and workshops, looking in and out of their
-windows. Any they in turn seem to be aware of me.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-When I'm ready to make a photograph, I think I quite obviously see in my minds
-eye something that is not literally there in the true meaning of the word. I'm
-interested in something which is built up from within, rather than just
-extracted from without.
-        ― Ansel Adams
-%
-When in doubt, tell the truth.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
-and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
-wants to read.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he
-was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
-nothing. It was here first.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
-week sometimes to make it up.
-        ― Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
-%
-I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I
-didn't know.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
-you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits:
-freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-It is the difference of opinion that makes horse races.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Man is the only animal that blushes ― or needs to.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-It could probably be shown, by facts and figures, that there is no distinctly
-native criminal class except Congress.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale
-returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell
-better than they pronounce.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not;
-but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any
-but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we
-all have to do it.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you
-are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of the Atlantic
-with his verb in his mouth.
-        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
-%
-Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
-to reform.
-        ― Mark Twain in "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
-%
-Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is
-because we are not the person involved.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common
-humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any
-other way you can manage it.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-I can live for two months on a good compliment.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes
-there ten years later.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is
-hollering about.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I 
-repeat myself.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and
-people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no
-trouble.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly
-native American criminal class except Congress.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that
-it ain't so.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-We have the best government that money can buy.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart
-no man much respects himself.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands
-explained.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and
-reflect.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived
-to have any relation.
-        ― Mark Twain
-%
-[Silvio Berlusconi] is so thoroughly corrupt, every time he smiles, an
-angel gets gonorrhea.
-        ― Dylan Moran
-%
-[Adulthood] feels like ... walking around in a desert, with a bag over
-your head, bumping into people who rob you as they bore you.
-        ― Dylan Moran
-%
-Tequila isn't even a drink. It's just a way of getting the police round,
-without using the phone.
-        ― Dylan Moran
-%
-I basically think I'm what would've happened if James Dean had lived,
-and discovered carbohydrates and orthopedic shoes.
-        ― Dylan Moran
-%
-When did ignorance become a point of view?
-        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)
-%
-There's no kill switch on awesome.
-        ― Dilbert (Scott Adams)
-%
-You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You
-don't wanna know about it, believe me.
-        ― Walter to The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
-%
-Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!
-        ― The Dude ("The Big Lebowski")
-%
-"The Dude abides." I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good
-knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I
-sure hope he makes the finals.
-        ― The Stranger ("The Big Lebowski")
-%
-We’ve bought into the idea that education is about training and
-"success", defined monetarily, rather than learning to think critically
-and to challenge. We should not forget that the true purpose of education
-is to make minds, not careers. A culture that does not grasp the vital
-interplay between morality and power, which mistakes management techniques
-for wisdom, which fails to understand that the measure of a civilization
-is its compassion, not its speed or ability to consume, condemns itself
-to death.
-        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
-          Triumph of Spectacle"
-%
-Inverted totalitarianism, unlike classical totalitarianism, does not
-revolve around a demagogue or charismatic leader. It finds expression in
-the anonymity of the Corporate State. It purports to cherish democracy,
-patriotism, and the Constitution while manipulating internal levers.
-        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
-          Triumph of Spectacle"
-%
-Washington has become our Versailles. We are ruled, entertained,
-and informed by courtiers―and the media has evolved into a class of
-courtiers. The Democrats, like the Republicans, are mostly courtiers. Our
-pundits and experts, at least those with prominent public platforms,
-are courtiers. We are captivated by the hollow stagecraft of political
-theater as we are ruthlessly stripped of power. It is smoke and mirrors,
-tricks and con games, and the purpose behind it is deception.
-        ― Chris Hedges, "Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the
-          Triumph of Spectacle"
-%
-The split in America, rather than simply economic, is between those who
-embrace reason, who function in the real world of cause and effect, and those
-who, numbed by isolation and despair, now seek meaning in a mythical world
-of intuition, a world that is no longer reality-based, a world of magic.
-        ― Chris Hedges, American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War
-          On America 
-%
-Hope has a cost. Hope is not comfortable or easy. Hope requires personal
-risk. It is not about the right attitude. Hope is not about peace of
-mind. Hope is action. Hope is doing something. The more futile, the more
-useless, the more irrelevant and incomprehensible an act of rebellion is,
-the vaster and more potent hope becomes.  Hope never makes sense. Hope is
-weak, unorganized and absurd. Hope, which is always nonviolent, exposes in
-its powerlessness, the lies, fraud and coercion employed by the state. Hope
-knows that an injustice visited on our neighbor is an injustice visited on
-all of us. Hope posits that people are drawn to the good by the good. This
-is the secret of hope's power. Hope demands for others what we demand for
-ourselves. Hope does not separate us from them. Hope sees in our enemy
-our own face.
-        ― Chris Hedges
-%
-Racism towards Muslims is as evil as anti-Semitism, but try to express
-this simple truth on a partisan Palestinian or Israeli website.
-        ― Chris Hedges, Death of the Liberal Class 
-%
-A society without the means to detect lies and theft soon squanders its
-liberty and freedom.
-        ― Chris Hedges
-%
-Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the
-one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
-        ― xkcd #1081 (mouseover text)
-%
-A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.
-(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations
-and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot
-actually masturbate.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-Styling mousse, which is gunk that looks like shaving cream ... was invented
-by a French hair professional whom, if you met him, you would want to punch
-directly in the mouth.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the
-sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight
-that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
-        ― Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
-%
-There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on
-Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large
-elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no
-recollection of what to do with them.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical
-need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as
-some kind of recreational activity.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants,
-today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
-you to share yours with them.
-        ― Dave Barry
-%
-It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Imagination is more important than knowledge.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-If A equals success, then the formula is:
-   A= X + Y + Z
-X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The
-latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to
-hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-The tyranny of the ignoramuses is insurmountable and assured for all time.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we
-created them.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else, unless it is an
-enemy.
-        ― A. Einstein
-%
-My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
-spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
-with our frail and feeble mind.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
-        ― Albert Einstein, as quoted by Virgil Henshaw in
-           "Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist" (1949)
-%
-The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it
-seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the
-fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving
-after rational knowledge.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason
-for existing.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-The only real valuable thing is intuition.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-God may be subtle, but He isn't plain mean.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates
-empirically.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Dear Posterity, If you have not become more just, more peaceful, and generally
-more rational than we are (or were) ― why then, the Devil take you.
-        ― Albert Einstein, message for a time capsule
-%
-Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
-certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-An autocratic system of coercion, in my opinion, soon degenerates. For
-force always attracts men of low morality, and I believe it to be an
-invariable rule that tyrants of genius are succeeded by scoundrels.
-        ― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It (1931)
-%
-"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but
-World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity
-for development accorded the individual. 
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a
-touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue. 
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all
-technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and
-equations.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine
-are still greater.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in
-school.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that
-counts cannot necessarily be counted.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
-minds.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my
-contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the
-spinal cord would suffice.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the
-years of maturity.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
-        ― Albert Einstein
-%
-People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his
-ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and
-the building started up. So I took it out for a drive. A cop pulled me over
-for speeding. He asked me where I live. I said, "Here."
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house
-and 4 people died.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of
-the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to tip
-over? Well, that's how I feel all the time.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-I'm making wine at home, but I make it out of raisins, so it'll be aged
-automatically.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see 'em at the beach. Pisses me off.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean
-would be, if that didn't happen.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-I remember the day the candle shop burned down. Everyone just stood around
-and sang, "Happy birthday."
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Once I stayed in a hotel where the pool was on the 23rd floor. I couldn't
-believe how deep it was.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like
-an idiot.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-What's another word for, "thesaurus?"
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Whenever I think about the past, it's just bring back so many memories.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Once I was walking through the woods, and I saw a rabbit standing in front
-of a candle, making shadows of people on a tree. I said, "Don't be so
-sarcastic."
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future, but just way off to
-the side.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-It's hard for me to buy clothes, 'cause I'm not my size.
-        ― Steven Wright
-%
-Small keyboards make for big mistakes. 
-        ― Joe Gunn
-%
-The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world.
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is
-just the ash.
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as a secrets to reveal. A
-scar is what happens when the word is made flesh.
-        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game
-%
-I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who
-is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-The older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show.
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-Deprivation is the mother of poetry.
-        ― Leonard Cohen, The Favorite Game 
-%
-We are so lightly here. It is in love that we are made. In love we disappear.
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
-        ― Leonard Cohen, Selected Poems, 1956-1968
-%
-This is a broken world, and we live with broken hearts and broken lives,
-but still that is no alibi for anything. On the contrary, you have to stand
-up and say, "Hallelujah," under those circumstances.
-        ― Leonard Cohen
-%
-A human is a system for converting dust billions of years ago into dust
-billions of years from now via a roundabout process which involves checking
-email a lot.
-	— Randall Munroe (xkcd #1173)
-%
-Among the many invectives I invent when people piss me off, this is my
-current favorite: 'Fuck yer own throat, you piss-dribbling monkey dick!'
-I'm hoping it catches on with you folks.
-	— Jon Miller, a.k.a., Doc Spender
-%
-"Well, vegans, as you know, don't have eggs, meat, dairy, or senses of humor."
-	— Peter Sagal, on NPR's "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" (21 Sep, 2013)
-%
-An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of pure.
-        ― Dr. Mark Crislip
-%
-Holy water is often contaminated with bacteria and, as a result, I
-hypothesize that Pasteur went to Hell, since, if he'd gone to heaven, all
-the water would be clean."
-	—Dr. Mark Crislip
-%
-It is ignoring the nuances of a complicated topic to grind your axe that
-annoys me.
-	—Dr. Mark Crislip
-%
-Anybody who thinks that homeopathy is appropriate therapy for anything but
-thirst is ... unfit to care for patients.
-	—Dr. Mark Crislip
-%
-That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in
-it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second
-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The
-Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now,
-while they’re happy.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she
-went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with
-great force.
-        ― Dorothy Parker, on Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"
-%
-It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I
-wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
-        ― Dorothy Parker
-%
-Sometimes, a grand adventure begins when you lick the evil. —Joe Pizzirusso
-%
-Angels are very good at math. That's why they call them arc-angels.
-        ― Steven Novella (The Skeptics Guide to the Universe)
-%
-"Girls are complicated. The instruction manual that comes with girls is 800
-pages, with chapters 14, 19, 26 and 32 missing, and it's badly translated,
-hard to figure out."
-	— Huge Laurie, on raising a girl
-%
-There is no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would
-just be the word "NO" scrawled over and over in charred blood.
-	— Randall Munroe, "What If?"
-%
-Telling a child that everyone dies is the hardest thing about being a party
-clown.
-	— James Ferace
-%
-Last night, I told my kid that the night light only makes it easier for
-the monsters to find her.
-	— James Ferace
diff --git a/vilebot/files/wordlist.txt b/vilebot/files/wordlist.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 3cce217e..00000000
--- a/vilebot/files/wordlist.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,3100 +0,0 @@
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-swiss
-switch
-switching
-symbol
-sympathize
-system
-systems
-table
-tackle
-tail
-take
-taken
-takeout
-talent
-talk
-tall
-tape
-target
-task
-taste
-taxi
-teach
-teacher
-teaching
-team
-tear
-tearing
-technical
-technician
-technique
-technology
-teenager
-telephone
-television
-tell
-temperament
-temperature
-tend
-tendency
-tennis
-tension
-tent
-term
-terms
-terrace
-terrible
-territory
-terror
-terrorism
-terrorist
-test
-text
-textbook
-than
-thank
-thanks
-that
-theater
-theatre
-their
-them
-theme
-themselves
-then
-theory
-there
-therefore
-these
-they
-thick
-thin
-thing
-think
-third
-thirteen
-this
-thorough
-those
-though
-thought
-thousand
-thread
-threat
-threaten
-three
-threw
-throat
-through
-throughout
-throw
-thrown
-thumb
-thunder
-thus
-ticket
-ticketless
-tiger
-tight
-till
-time
-timely
-timer
-times
-timetable
-timing
-tiny
-tire
-tired
-tissue
-title
-tobacco
-today
-together
-toilet
-told
-tomorrow
-tone
-tongue
-tonight
-took
-tool
-tooth
-topic
-topics
-topless
-topping
-tore
-total
-totally
-touch
-touching
-tough
-tought
-tour
-touring
-tourist
-tournament
-toward
-towards
-tower
-towers
-town
-trace
-track
-trade
-trademark
-tradition
-traditional
-traffic
-trafficked
-tragedy
-train
-trainer
-training
-transfer
-transferred
-transport
-trap
-travel
-traveler
-traveling
-tray
-treasure
-treat
-treatment
-treaty
-tree
-tremendous
-trend
-trial
-triangle
-trick
-tried
-tries
-trip
-troop
-trouble
-trousers
-truck
-true
-truly
-trunk
-trust
-truth
-tube
-tuesday
-tuning
-tunnel
-turn
-twelfth
-twelve
-twenty
-twice
-twin
-twist
-type
-typewriter
-typical
-typing
-typist
-tyranny
-tyre
-umbrella
-unable
-unanimous
-unbalance
-uncle
-unconscious
-under
-underline
-understand
-understanding
-understood
-undertake
-undoubtedly
-unemployment
-unfortunately
-uniform
-union
-unique
-unit
-unite
-united
-universal
-universe
-university
-unless
-unlikely
-unmistakably
-unnecessary
-until
-upon
-upper
-urban
-usage
-used
-useful
-useless
-user
-using
-usual
-usually
-vacuum
-valley
-valuable
-value
-variation
-varies
-variety
-various
-vary
-vast
-vegetable
-vehicle
-vengeance
-venomous
-verse
-version
-very
-vessel
-vice
-victim
-victory
-video
-view
-vigilance
-village
-villain
-violence
-violent
-virgin
-visible
-vision
-visit
-visitor
-visual
-vital
-vitality
-vitamins
-voice
-volume
-volunteer
-vote
-wage
-wagon
-wait
-waiter
-waiting
-waitress
-waive
-walk
-walking
-wall
-want
-warm
-warn
-warrant
-warring
-wash
-washable
-waste
-wasting
-watch
-watching
-water
-wave
-weak
-weapon
-wear
-weather
-wedding
-wedge
-wednesday
-week
-weekend
-weekly
-weight
-weird
-welcome
-welfare
-well
-went
-were
-west
-western
-what
-whatever
-wheat
-wheel
-when
-where
-whereas
-wherever
-whether
-which
-whichever
-while
-whilst
-whip
-whistle
-white
-whitecollar
-whole
-wholly
-whom
-whose
-wide
-widely
-wield
-wife
-wild
-will
-wind
-window
-windows
-windowshopping
-wine
-wineglass
-wing
-wings
-winner
-wins
-winter
-wintry
-wiper
-wire
-wireless
-wise
-wish
-with
-withdraw
-withdrawal
-within
-without
-woman
-women
-wonder
-wonderful
-wood
-wool
-word
-wore
-work
-worker
-working
-works
-workshop
-world
-worm
-worn
-worry
-worshiped
-worth
-would
-wound
-wrap
-wrapping
-wreck
-write
-writer
-writing
-written
-wrong
-wrote
-yard
-yeah
-year
-yellow
-yesterday
-yield
-young
-your
-yourself
-youth
-zero
-zone
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/license-header.txt b/vilebot/license-header.txt
deleted file mode 100644
index 46eda259..00000000
--- a/vilebot/license-header.txt
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,4 +0,0 @@
-Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw b/vilebot/mvnw
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/mvnw
rename to vilebot/mvnw
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd b/vilebot/mvnw.cmd
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/mvnw.cmd
rename to vilebot/mvnw.cmd
diff --git a/vilebot/pom.xml b/vilebot/pom.xml
index 0a9a2500..64249a11 100644
--- a/vilebot/pom.xml
+++ b/vilebot/pom.xml
@@ -1,167 +1,214 @@
-<project xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0" xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 http://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd">
-    <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
-    <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
-    <artifactId>vilebot</artifactId>
-    <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
-    <name>Vilebot</name>
-    <description>Vilebot Keratin</description>
+<?xml version="1.0"?>
+<project xsi:schemaLocation="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0 https://maven.apache.org/xsd/maven-4.0.0.xsd" xmlns="http://maven.apache.org/POM/4.0.0"
+    xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance">
+  <modelVersion>4.0.0</modelVersion>
+  <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+  <artifactId>vilebot</artifactId>
+  <version>0.0.1-SNAPSHOT</version>
+  <properties>
+    <compiler-plugin.version>3.8.1</compiler-plugin.version>
+    <maven.compiler.parameters>true</maven.compiler.parameters>
+    <maven.compiler.source>11</maven.compiler.source>
+    <maven.compiler.target>11</maven.compiler.target>
+    <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
+    <project.reporting.outputEncoding>UTF-8</project.reporting.outputEncoding>
+    <quarkus-plugin.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus-plugin.version>
+    <quarkus.platform.artifact-id>quarkus-universe-bom</quarkus.platform.artifact-id>
+    <quarkus.platform.group-id>io.quarkus</quarkus.platform.group-id>
+    <quarkus.platform.version>2.1.1.Final</quarkus.platform.version>
+    <surefire-plugin.version>3.0.0-M5</surefire-plugin.version>
+    <maven-license-plugin.version>1.9.0</maven-license-plugin.version>
+    <formatter-maven-plugin.version>2.8.1</formatter-maven-plugin.version>
+    <apache-commons.version>3.12.0</apache-commons.version>
+  </properties>
 
-    <properties>
-        <project.build.sourceEncoding>UTF-8</project.build.sourceEncoding>
-    </properties>
+  <dependencyManagement>
+    <dependencies>
+      <dependency>
+        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-bom</artifactId>
+        <version>${quarkus.platform.version}</version>
+        <type>pom</type>
+        <scope>import</scope>
+      </dependency>
+
+      <dependency>
+        <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
+        <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
+        <version>${apache-commons.version}</version>
+      </dependency>
+    </dependencies>
+  </dependencyManagement>
+
+  <dependencies>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>com.oldterns.vilebot</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-irc-bot</artifactId>
+      <version>${project.version}</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-arc</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-jackson</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-redis-client</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
 
-    <build>
-        <sourceDirectory>src/main/java</sourceDirectory>
-        <testSourceDirectory>src/test/java</testSourceDirectory>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
+      <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>rome</groupId>
+      <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
+      <version>1.0</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.jsoup</groupId>
+      <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
+      <version>1.8.1</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.twitter4j</groupId>
+      <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
+      <version>[4.0,)</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>info.debatty</groupId>
+      <artifactId>java-string-similarity</artifactId>
+      <version>0.17</version>
+      <scope>compile</scope>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.beanshell</groupId>
+      <artifactId>bsh</artifactId>
+      <version>2.0b4</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>com.github.lalyos</groupId>
+      <artifactId>jfiglet</artifactId>
+      <version>0.0.8</version>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5</artifactId>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>org.assertj</groupId>
+      <artifactId>assertj-core</artifactId>
+      <version>3.19.0</version>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+    <dependency>
+      <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+      <artifactId>quarkus-junit5-mockito</artifactId>
+      <scope>test</scope>
+    </dependency>
+  </dependencies>
+  <build>
+    <plugins>
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>com.mycila.maven-license-plugin</groupId>
+        <artifactId>maven-license-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${maven-license-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <header>license-header.txt</header>
+          <strictCheck>true</strictCheck>
+          <includes>
+            <include>src/**</include>
+          </includes>
+         </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>net.revelc.code.formatter</groupId>
+        <artifactId>formatter-maven-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${formatter-maven-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <configFile>${project.basedir}/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml</configFile>
+         </configuration>
+        <executions>
+          <execution>
+            <goals>
+              <goal>format</goal>
+            </goals>
+          </execution>
+        </executions>
+      </plugin>
+
+      <plugin>
+        <groupId>io.quarkus</groupId>
+        <artifactId>quarkus-maven-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${quarkus-plugin.version}</version>
+        <extensions>true</extensions>
+        <executions>
+          <execution>
+            <goals>
+              <goal>build</goal>
+              <goal>generate-code</goal>
+              <goal>generate-code-tests</goal>
+            </goals>
+          </execution>
+        </executions>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${compiler-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <parameters>${maven.compiler.parameters}</parameters>
+        </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+      <plugin>
+        <artifactId>maven-surefire-plugin</artifactId>
+        <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
+        <configuration>
+          <systemPropertyVariables>
+            <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+            <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
+          </systemPropertyVariables>
+        </configuration>
+      </plugin>
+    </plugins>
+  </build>
+  <profiles>
+    <profile>
+      <id>native</id>
+      <activation>
+        <property>
+          <name>native</name>
+        </property>
+      </activation>
+      <build>
         <plugins>
-            <plugin>
-                <groupId>org.apache.maven.plugins</groupId>
-                <artifactId>maven-shade-plugin</artifactId>
-                <version>2.1</version>
-                <configuration>
-                    <outputFile>${project.build.directory}/vilebot-shaded.jar</outputFile>
-                    <transformers>
-                        <transformer implementation="org.apache.maven.plugins.shade.resource.ManifestResourceTransformer">
-                            <mainClass>com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot</mainClass>
-                        </transformer>
-                    </transformers>
-                </configuration>
-                <executions>
-                    <execution>
-                        <phase>package</phase>
-                        <goals>
-                            <goal>shade</goal>
-                        </goals>
-                    </execution>
-                </executions>
-            </plugin>
-            <!--<plugin>-->
-                <!--<groupId>org.codehaus.mojo</groupId>-->
-                <!--<artifactId>exec-maven-plugin</artifactId>-->
-                <!--<version>1.2.1</version>-->
-                <!--<configuration>-->
-                    <!--<mainClass>com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot</mainClass>-->
-                <!--</configuration>-->
-            <!--</plugin>-->
-            <plugin>
-                <groupId>com.mycila.maven-license-plugin</groupId>
-                <artifactId>maven-license-plugin</artifactId>
-                <version>1.9.0</version>
+          <plugin>
+            <artifactId>maven-failsafe-plugin</artifactId>
+            <version>${surefire-plugin.version}</version>
+            <executions>
+              <execution>
+                <goals>
+                  <goal>integration-test</goal>
+                  <goal>verify</goal>
+                </goals>
                 <configuration>
-                    <header>license-header.txt</header>
-                    <strictCheck>true</strictCheck>
-                    <includes>
-                        <include>src/**</include>
-                    </includes>
+                  <systemPropertyVariables>
+                    <native.image.path>${project.build.directory}/${project.build.finalName}-runner</native.image.path>
+                    <java.util.logging.manager>org.jboss.logmanager.LogManager</java.util.logging.manager>
+                    <maven.home>${maven.home}</maven.home>
+                  </systemPropertyVariables>
                 </configuration>
-            </plugin>
-            <plugin>
-                <groupId>net.revelc.code.formatter</groupId>
-                <artifactId>formatter-maven-plugin</artifactId>
-                <version>2.8.1</version>
-                <configuration>
-                    <configFile>${project.basedir}/maven-eclipse-codestyle.xml</configFile>
-                </configuration>
-                <executions>
-                    <execution>
-                        <goals>
-                            <goal>format</goal>
-                        </goals>
-                    </execution>
-                </executions>
-            </plugin>
-            <plugin>
-                <groupId>org.apache.maven.plugins</groupId>
-                <artifactId>maven-compiler-plugin</artifactId>
-                <version>3.8.0</version>
-                <configuration>
-                    <source>11</source>
-                    <target>11</target>
-                </configuration>
-            </plugin>
+              </execution>
+            </executions>
+          </plugin>
         </plugins>
-    </build>
-
-    <dependencies>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>redis.clients</groupId>
-            <artifactId>jedis</artifactId>
-            <version>2.1.0</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>rome</groupId>
-            <artifactId>rome</artifactId>
-            <version>1.0</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.twitter4j</groupId>
-            <artifactId>twitter4j-core</artifactId>
-            <version>[4.0,)</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.jsoup</groupId>
-            <artifactId>jsoup</artifactId>
-            <version>1.8.1</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>info.debatty</groupId>
-            <artifactId>java-string-similarity</artifactId>
-            <version>0.17</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>junit</groupId>
-            <artifactId>junit</artifactId>
-            <version>4.11</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.mockito</groupId>
-            <artifactId>mockito-core</artifactId>
-            <version>2.23.4</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.beanshell</groupId>
-            <artifactId>bsh</artifactId>
-            <version>2.0b4</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>com.github.lalyos</groupId>
-            <artifactId>jfiglet</artifactId>
-            <version>0.0.8</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
-            <artifactId>commons-configuration2</artifactId>
-            <version>2.7</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>commons-beanutils</groupId>
-            <artifactId>commons-beanutils</artifactId>
-            <version>1.9.4</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.pircbotx</groupId>
-            <artifactId>pircbotx</artifactId>
-            <version>2.1</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.slf4j</groupId>
-            <artifactId>slf4j-simple</artifactId>
-            <version>1.7.26</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>com.google.code.gson</groupId>
-            <artifactId>gson</artifactId>
-            <version>2.8.5</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.httpcomponents</groupId>
-            <artifactId>httpclient</artifactId>
-            <version>4.5.8</version>
-        </dependency>
-        <dependency>
-            <groupId>org.apache.commons</groupId>
-            <artifactId>commons-lang3</artifactId>
-            <version>3.9</version>
-        </dependency>
-    </dependencies>
+      </build>
+      <properties>
+        <quarkus.package.type>native</quarkus.package.type>
+      </properties>
+    </profile>
+  </profiles>
 </project>
diff --git a/vilebot/server-control.sh b/vilebot/server-control.sh
index 202bf80f..670f984d 100755
--- a/vilebot/server-control.sh
+++ b/vilebot/server-control.sh
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ set -f
 
 : "${VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH:=cfg/redis.conf}"
 : "${VB_REDIS_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-redis-server-pid-$USER}"
-: "${VB_JAR_PATH:=target/vilebot-shaded.jar}"
+: "${VB_JAR_PATH:=target/quarkus-app/quarkus-run.jar}"
 : "${VB_PID_PATH:=/tmp/vb-server-pid-$USER}"
 : "${VB_LOG_PATH:=log}"
 : "${VB_REMOTE_DEBUG:=0}"
@@ -64,7 +64,7 @@ mode_start() {
     msg ">> Testing prerequisites"
     local required_files=("$VB_JAR_PATH"
                           "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH"
-                          "cfg/vilebot.conf")
+                          ".env")
 
     for filepath in "${required_files[@]}"
     do
@@ -76,7 +76,6 @@ mode_start() {
         fi
     done
 
-    mkdir -p db
     mkdir -p log
 
     status_info=$(mode_status | grep -e ' up$' || true)
@@ -86,7 +85,7 @@ mode_start() {
         msg ">> Redis server already up"
     else
         msg ">> Starting local redis server"
-        nohup redis-server "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH" 1>>"$VB_LOG_PATH/redis-stdout.log" 2>&1 &
+        nohup ./startProdRedisInstance.sh >> log/redis.log 2>&1 &
         echo -n "$!" >| "$VB_REDIS_PID_PATH"
     fi
 
@@ -119,6 +118,24 @@ mode_start() {
     fi
 }
 
+get_docker() {
+          local DOCKER=''
+          if command -v docker &> /dev/null
+          then
+            DOCKER='docker'
+          fi
+          if command -v podman &> /dev/null
+          then
+            DOCKER='podman'
+          fi
+          if [ -z "$DOCKER" ]
+          then
+            echo "Could not find docker or podman. Aborting"
+            exit 1
+          fi
+          echo $DOCKER
+}
+
 mode_stop() {
     msg "Stopping services"
 
@@ -138,12 +155,17 @@ mode_stop() {
     fi
 
     msg ">> Stopping local redis server"
-    redis-cli -p "$(get_redis_port)" SHUTDOWN || msg ">> Couldn't send shutdown command to redis server"
+    kill -15 "$redis_pid" || msg ">> Couldn't send term signal to redis"
+    while kill -0 "$redis_pid" >/dev/null 2>&1
+    do
+        sleep 1
+    done
+    $(get_docker) kill --signal TERM redis_quarkus_prod >/dev/null 2>&1
 }
 
 mode_status() {
     _is_redis_up() {
-        redis-cli -p "$(get_redis_port)" PING >/dev/null 2>&1
+        $(get_docker) container exists redis_quarkus_prod
     }
 
     _is_vilebot_up() {
@@ -171,6 +193,7 @@ mode_status() {
     fi
 
     true
+
 }
 
 mode_restart() {
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm b/vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
rename to vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.jvm
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar b/vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
rename to vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.legacy-jar
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native b/vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
rename to vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless b/vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
rename to vilebot/src/main/docker/Dockerfile.native-distroless
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 033351e6..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,19 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
-
-/**
- * Class to contain characters and strings that cause the Eclipse line spacing to break if viewed directly.
- */
-public class CharactersThatBreakEclipse
-{
-    public static final String LODEMOT = Colors.BOLD + "ಠ" + Colors.BOLD + "_" + Colors.BOLD + "ಠ" + Colors.BOLD;
-
-    public static final String KIRBYFLIP = "(╯°□°)╯︵<(x˙x)>";
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Vilebot.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Vilebot.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e7d1eac2..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/Vilebot.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,183 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot;
-
-import java.io.FileInputStream;
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.io.InputStream;
-import java.util.Enumeration;
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Properties;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.AdminManagement;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.AdminPing;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.Auth;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.GetLog;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.NickChange;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.Quit;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.AnswerQuestion;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Ascii;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.ChatLogger;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Church;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Countdown;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Decide;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.DownOrJustMe;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Excuses;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.FakeNews;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Fortune;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.GetInfoOn;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Help;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.ImageToAscii;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Inspiration;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Jaziz;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Jokes;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Kaomoji;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Karma;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.KarmaRoll;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.KarmaTransfer;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.LastMessageSed;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.LastSeen;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Markov;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.News;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Omgword;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Ops;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.QuotesAndFacts;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.RemindMe;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.RockPaperScissors;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Summon;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Trivia;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Ttc;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.TwitterCorrection;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.UrlTitleAnnouncer;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.UrlTweetAnnouncer;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.UserPing;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Userlists;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Weather;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.Configuration;
-import org.pircbotx.MultiBotManager;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-import redis.clients.jedis.JedisPool;
-import redis.clients.jedis.JedisPoolConfig;
-import redis.clients.jedis.Protocol;
-
-public class Vilebot
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( Vilebot.class );
-
-    private static final String BOT_CONFIG_FILE = "cfg/vilebot.conf";
-
-    private static Map<String, String> cfg = getConfigMap();
-
-    private static JedisPool pool;
-
-    public static void main( String[] args )
-    {
-        // Database
-        String redisHost = cfg.get( "redisHost" );
-        int redisPort = Integer.parseInt( cfg.get( "redisPort" ) );
-        String redisPassword = cfg.get( "redisPassword" );
-        if ( redisPassword.length() > 0 )
-        {
-            pool =
-                new JedisPool( new JedisPoolConfig(), redisHost, redisPort, Protocol.DEFAULT_TIMEOUT, redisPassword );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            pool = new JedisPool( new JedisPoolConfig(), redisHost, redisPort );
-        }
-
-        Runtime.getRuntime().addShutdownHook( new Thread( () -> pool.destroy() ) );
-
-        BaseNick.setPrimaryBotNick( cfg.get( "ircNick1" ) );
-
-        MultiBotManager botManager = new MultiBotManager();
-
-        // Bot
-        int ircBotAmount = Integer.parseInt( cfg.get( "ircBotAmount" ) );
-        for ( int i = 1; i <= ircBotAmount; i++ )
-        {
-            String ircUser = cfg.get( "ircUser" + i );
-            String ircNick = cfg.get( "ircNick" + i );
-            String ircRealName = cfg.get( "ircRealName" + i );
-            String ircServerAddress = cfg.get( "ircServerAddress" + i );
-            int ircPort = Integer.parseInt( cfg.get( "ircPort" + i ) );
-            String ircChannel = cfg.get( "ircChannel" + i );
-
-            BaseNick.addBotNick( ircNick );
-
-            Configuration botConfiguration =
-                new Configuration.Builder().setName( ircNick ).setLogin( ircUser ).setRealName( ircRealName ).addServer( ircServerAddress,
-                                                                                                                         ircPort ).addAutoJoinChannel( ircChannel ).setAutoReconnect( true ).addListener( new Vilebot() ).addListener( new AdminManagement() ).addListener( new AdminPing() ).addListener( new Auth() ).addListener( new DownOrJustMe() ).addListener( new GetLog() ).addListener( new com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.Help() ).addListener( new NickChange() ).addListener( new com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin.Ops() ).addListener( new Quit() ).addListener( new AnswerQuestion() ).addListener( new Ascii() ).addListener( new ChatLogger() ).addListener( new Church() ).addListener( new Countdown() ).addListener( new Decide() ).addListener( new Excuses() ).addListener( new FakeNews() ).addListener( new Fortune() ).addListener( new GetInfoOn() ).addListener( new Help() ).addListener( new ImageToAscii() ).addListener( new Inspiration() ).addListener( new Jaziz() ).addListener( new Jokes() ).addListener( new Kaomoji() ).addListener( new Karma() ).addListener( new KarmaRoll() ).addListener( new KarmaTransfer() ).addListener( new LastMessageSed() ).addListener( new LastSeen() ).addListener( new Markov() ).addListener( new News() ).addListener( new Omgword() ).addListener( new Ops() ).addListener( new QuotesAndFacts() ).addListener( new RemindMe() ).addListener( new RockPaperScissors() ).addListener( new Summon() ).addListener( new Trivia() ).addListener( new Ttc() ).addListener( new TwitterCorrection() ).addListener( new UrlTitleAnnouncer() ).addListener( new UrlTweetAnnouncer() ).addListener( new Userlists() ).addListener( new UserPing() ).addListener( new Weather() ).buildConfiguration();
-
-            botManager.addBot( botConfiguration );
-        }
-
-        botManager.start();
-        // Done
-    }
-
-    private static Map<String, String> getConfigMap()
-    {
-        Map<String, String> cfg = new HashMap<>();
-        Properties prop = new Properties();
-        InputStream input = null;
-        try
-        {
-            input = new FileInputStream( BOT_CONFIG_FILE );
-            prop.load( input );
-            Enumeration<?> e = prop.propertyNames();
-            while ( e.hasMoreElements() )
-            {
-                String key = (String) e.nextElement();
-                String val = prop.getProperty( key );
-                cfg.put( key, val );
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( IOException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            if ( input != null )
-            {
-                try
-                {
-                    input.close();
-                }
-                catch ( IOException e )
-                {
-                    logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        return cfg;
-    }
-
-    public static JedisPool getPool()
-    {
-        return pool;
-    }
-
-    public static Map<String, String> getConfig()
-    {
-        return new HashMap<>( cfg );
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        logger.info( String.format( "[%s] %s", event.getUser().getNick(), event.getMessage() ) );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDB.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ChurchDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ChurchDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 2696403d..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ChurchDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,242 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import java.util.Set;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-/**
- * This class is effectively a duplicate of KarmaDB, used for church related karma
- */
-public class ChurchDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet = "church-donor-karma";
-
-    private static final String keyOfChurchSortedSet = "church-karma";
-
-    private static final String keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet = "church-title-";
-
-    public static boolean isTopDonor( String noun )
-    {
-        return getDonorRank( noun ) != null && getDonorRank( noun ) <= 4;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Change the karma of a noun by an integer.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
-     * @param mod The amount to change the karma by, may be negative.
-     */
-    public static void modDonorKarma( String noun, int mod )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.zincrby( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, mod, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Change the karma not affiliated with a donor
-     */
-    public static void modNonDonorKarma( int mod )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.zincrby( keyOfChurchSortedSet, mod, keyOfChurchSortedSet );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Change the title of noun to a string.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
-     * @param newTitle The string to change the title to
-     */
-    public static void modDonorTitle( String noun, String newTitle )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Long titleCount = jedis.scard( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun );
-        try
-        {
-            for ( Long i = 0L; i < titleCount; i++ )
-            {
-                jedis.spop( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun );
-            }
-            jedis.sadd( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun, newTitle );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the karma of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to query to karma of
-     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static Integer getDonorKarma( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Double karma;
-        try
-        {
-            karma = jedis.zscore( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        if ( karma == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return Long.valueOf( Math.round( karma ) ).intValue();
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
-     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static Integer getDonorRank( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Long rank;
-        try
-        {
-            rank = jedis.zrevrank( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        if ( rank == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return rank.intValue() + 1;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the title of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
-     * @return String iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static String getDonorTitle( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.srandmember( keyOfChurchDonorTitleSortedSet + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get nouns from karma ranks.
-     *
-     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getDonorsByRanks( long lower, long upper )
-    {
-        Set<String> nouns;
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            nouns = jedis.zrevrange( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, lower, upper );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        if ( nouns == null || nouns.size() == 0 )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return nouns;
-    }
-
-    public static boolean removeDonor( String noun )
-    {
-        Long existed;
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            existed = jedis.zrem( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        if ( existed == null || existed != 1 )
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-
-        return true;
-    }
-
-    public static long getTotalDonations()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        long totalKarma;
-        try
-        {
-            Set<String> members = jedis.zrange( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, 0, -1 );
-            totalKarma = sum( keyOfChurchDonorSortedSet, members, jedis );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        return totalKarma;
-    }
-
-    public static long getTotalNonDonations()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        long totalKarma;
-        try
-        {
-            Set<String> members = jedis.zrange( keyOfChurchSortedSet, 0, -1 );
-            totalKarma = sum( keyOfChurchSortedSet, members, jedis );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        return totalKarma;
-    }
-
-    private static long sum( String set, Set<String> members, Jedis jedis )
-    {
-        long sum = 0;
-        for ( String member : members )
-        {
-            sum += jedis.zscore( set, member );
-        }
-        return sum;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ExcuseDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ExcuseDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index a0ee94ad..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/ExcuseDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,41 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class ExcuseDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfExcuseSet = "excuses";
-
-    public static void addExcuse( String excuse )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.sadd( keyOfExcuseSet, excuse );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    public static String getRandExcuse()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.srandmember( keyOfExcuseSet );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/GroupDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/GroupDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index cc304f8f..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/GroupDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,170 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class GroupDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfGroupSetsPrefix = "groups-";
-
-    private static final String opGroupName = "ops";
-
-    private static final String adminGroupName = "admins";
-
-    /**
-     * Checks if the the Admin group is empty.
-     * 
-     * @return true iff the Admin group has no members.
-     */
-    public static boolean noAdmins()
-    {
-        return groupSize( adminGroupName ) == 0;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Checks if the given nick is in the Admins group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to check
-     * @return true iff the nick is in the Admin group
-     */
-    public static boolean isAdmin( String nick )
-    {
-        return isInGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Checks if the given nick is in the Operators group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to check
-     * @return true iff the nick is in the Op group
-     */
-    public static boolean isOp( String nick )
-    {
-        return isInGroup( opGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Checks if the given nick is in the given group.
-     * 
-     * @param group The group name to check
-     * @param nick The nick to check
-     * @return true iff the nick is in the Op group
-     */
-    private static boolean isInGroup( String group, String nick )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return nick != null && jedis.sismember( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static long groupSize( String group )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.scard( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Adds the given nick to the Admins group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to add
-     * @return true iff the nick was not already there
-     */
-    public static boolean addAdmin( String nick )
-    {
-        return addToGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Adds the given nick to the Operators group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to add
-     * @return true iff the nick was not already there
-     */
-    public static boolean addOp( String nick )
-    {
-        return addToGroup( opGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Adds the given nick to the given group. Makes a new group if it doesn't exist.
-     * 
-     * @param group The group name to use
-     * @param nick The nick to add
-     * @return true iff a new element was inserted
-     */
-    private static boolean addToGroup( String group, String nick )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            long reply = jedis.sadd( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick );
-            return reply == 1;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Removes the given nick from the Admins group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to remove
-     * @return true iff the nick existed
-     */
-    public static boolean remAdmin( String nick )
-    {
-        return remFromGroup( adminGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Removes the given nick from the Operators group.
-     * 
-     * @param nick The nick to remove
-     * @return true iff the nick existed
-     */
-    public static boolean remOp( String nick )
-    {
-        return remFromGroup( opGroupName, nick );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Removes the given nick to the given group.
-     * 
-     * @param group The group name to use
-     * @param nick The nick to remove
-     * @return true iff an element was removed
-     */
-    private static boolean remFromGroup( String group, String nick )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            long reply = jedis.srem( keyOfGroupSetsPrefix + group, nick );
-            return reply == 1;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/KarmaDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/KarmaDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4694aceb..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/KarmaDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,263 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import java.util.Set;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class KarmaDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfKarmaSortedSet = "noun-karma";
-
-    /**
-     * Change the karma of a noun by an integer.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The noun to change the karma of
-     * @param mod The amount to change the karma by, may be negative.
-     */
-    public static void modNounKarma( String noun, int mod )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.zincrby( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, mod, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the karma of a noun.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The noun to query to karma of
-     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static Integer getNounKarma( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Double karma;
-        try
-        {
-            karma = jedis.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( karma == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return Integer.valueOf( Long.valueOf( Math.round( karma ) ).intValue() );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The noun to query the rank of
-     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static Integer getNounRank( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Long rank;
-        try
-        {
-            rank = jedis.zrevrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( rank == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return Integer.valueOf( rank.intValue() + 1 );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the rank of a noun based on its karma, starting at most negative karma.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The noun to query the reverse rank of
-     * @return Integer iff the noun has a defined value, else null
-     */
-    public static Integer getNounRevRank( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        Long rank;
-        try
-        {
-            rank = jedis.zrank( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( rank == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return Integer.valueOf( rank.intValue() + 1 );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get noun from a karma rank (Rank 1 is the member with the highest karma).
-     * 
-     * @param rank The rank to get the noun of.
-     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
-     */
-    public static String getRankNoun( long rank )
-    {
-        Set<String> nouns = getRankNouns( rank - 1, rank );
-
-        if ( nouns != null && nouns.iterator().hasNext() )
-        {
-            return nouns.iterator().next();
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get nouns from karma ranks.
-     * 
-     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getRankNouns( long lower, long upper )
-    {
-        Set<String> nouns;
-
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            nouns = jedis.zrevrange( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, lower, upper );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( nouns == null || nouns.size() == 0 )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return nouns;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get noun from a karma rank, starting with the lowest ranks (Rank 1 would be the member with the least karma).
-     * 
-     * @param rank The reversed rank to get the noun of.
-     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
-     */
-    public static String getRevRankNoun( long rank )
-    {
-        Set<String> nouns = getRevRankNouns( rank - 1, rank );
-
-        if ( nouns != null && nouns.iterator().hasNext() )
-        {
-            return nouns.iterator().next();
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get nouns from a karma rank, starting with the lowest ranks.
-     * 
-     * @param lower The lower rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @param upper The upper rank to get the nouns of.
-     * @return String The noun iff the rank exists, else null.
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getRevRankNouns( long lower, long upper )
-    {
-        Set<String> nouns;
-
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            nouns = jedis.zrange( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, lower, upper );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( nouns == null || nouns.size() == 0 )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return nouns;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Remove noun from the karma/rank set.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The noun to remove, if it exists.
-     * @return true iff the noun existed before removing it.
-     */
-    public static boolean remNoun( String noun )
-    {
-        Long existed;
-
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            existed = jedis.zrem( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        if ( existed == null || existed != 1 )
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-        return true;
-    }
-
-    public static long getTotalKarma()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        long totalKarma;
-        try
-        {
-            Set<String> members = jedis.zrange( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, 0, -1 );
-            totalKarma = sum( members, jedis );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-        return totalKarma;
-    }
-
-    private static long sum( Set<String> members, Jedis jedis )
-    {
-        long sum = 0;
-        for ( String member : members )
-        {
-            sum += jedis.zscore( keyOfKarmaSortedSet, member );
-        }
-        return sum;
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LastSeenDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LastSeenDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index df6505e5..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LastSeenDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,42 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class LastSeenDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfLastSeenHash = "last-seen";
-
-    public static long getLastSeenTime( String nick )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return Long.valueOf( jedis.hget( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick ) );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    public static void updateLastSeenTime( String nick )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            Long milliTime = System.currentTimeMillis();
-            jedis.hset( keyOfLastSeenHash, nick, milliTime.toString() );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LogDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LogDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index abec87c1..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/LogDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,59 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import org.apache.commons.lang3.StringUtils;
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
- */
-public class LogDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-
-    public static String logKey = "chat-log";
-
-    private static final int MAX_LOG_SIZE = 100000;
-
-    public static void addItem( String chatMessage )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            if ( jedis.strlen( logKey ) > MAX_LOG_SIZE )
-            {
-                jedis.set( logKey, StringUtils.right( jedis.get( logKey ), MAX_LOG_SIZE - chatMessage.length() ) );
-            }
-            jedis.append( logKey, chatMessage );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    public static String getLog()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.get( logKey );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    public static void deleteLog()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.del( logKey );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/PasswordDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/PasswordDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index c2f115f8..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/PasswordDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,147 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import java.util.UUID;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-import redis.clients.jedis.Transaction;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.HMAC;
-
-public class PasswordDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfPassHash = "password";
-
-    private static final String keyOfPassSaltsHash = "password-salts";
-
-    // Note, there is some overlap in terms between the crypto term "Secure Hash" and the Redis structure "Hash". Redis
-    // hashes are maps, though called hashes because of a common method of implementing them via a hash function. Except
-    // for keyOfPassHash and keyOfPassSaltsHash, every use of "hash" in this file refers to the cryptography term.
-
-    /**
-     * @return A long random string
-     */
-    private static String generateSalt()
-    {
-        return UUID.randomUUID().toString();
-    }
-
-    private static String getSalt( String username )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.hget( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static String hash( String salt, String input )
-    {
-        return HMAC.generateHMAC( input, salt );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Checks the validity of a password for a user
-     * 
-     * @param username user to check the password of
-     * @param password the password to check
-     * @return true iff the given password is valid
-     */
-    public static boolean isValidPassword( String username, String password )
-    {
-        String storedHash;
-
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            storedHash = jedis.hget( keyOfPassHash, username );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-
-        String hash = hash( password, getSalt( username ) );
-
-        return hash.equals( storedHash );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Remove a user and their password information, if they exist.
-     * 
-     * @param username unique user name
-     */
-    public static void remUserPassword( String username )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            Transaction trans = jedis.multi();
-            trans.hdel( keyOfPassHash, username );
-            trans.hdel( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username );
-            trans.exec();
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Add or modify a user's password
-     * 
-     * @param username unique user name
-     * @param password the user's password (will be hashed)
-     * @return true iff a new element was inserted
-     */
-    public static boolean setUserPassword( String username, String password )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            boolean newUser;
-
-            Transaction trans;
-            do
-            {
-                // Can't use intermediate results of a Redis transaction in that transaction, so watch the keys and do
-                // the query before opening the transaction. The transaction will fail on exec() call if the keys
-                // changed.
-                jedis.watch( keyOfPassHash, keyOfPassSaltsHash );
-                boolean exists = jedis.hexists( keyOfPassHash, username );
-
-                trans = jedis.multi();
-                // Create a salt as well as the new password entry if the user is new
-                if ( !exists )
-                {
-                    newUser = true;
-
-                    String salt = generateSalt();
-                    trans.hset( keyOfPassSaltsHash, username, salt );
-
-                    String hash = hash( password, salt );
-                    trans.hset( keyOfPassHash, username, hash );
-                }
-                else
-                    newUser = false;
-            }
-            while ( trans.exec() == null );
-
-            return newUser;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/QuoteFactDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/QuoteFactDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index abb83ea4..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/QuoteFactDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,225 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class QuoteFactDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix = "noun-quotes-";
-
-    private static final String keyOfFactSetsPrefix = "noun-facts-";
-
-    private static final int COUNT = 5;
-
-    /**
-     * Add a quote to the quote set of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to add a quote to
-     * @param quote The new quote
-     */
-    public static void addQuote( String noun, String quote )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.sadd( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun, quote );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the quotes of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
-     * @return The set of quotes for the noun
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getQuotes( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.smembers( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get a random quote from the set of quotes of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
-     * @return A random quote for the noun
-     */
-    public static String getRandQuote( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.srandmember( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the number of quotes associated with a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
-     * @return The number of quotes
-     */
-    public static Long getQuotesLength( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.scard( keyOfQuoteSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get 5 random quotes from the set of facts of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the quotes of
-     * @return A List of 5 random quotes for the noun
-     */
-    public static List<String> getRandQuotes( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            List<String> randomQuotes = new LinkedList<String>();
-            for ( int i = 0; i < COUNT; i++ )
-            {
-                String quote = getRandQuote( noun );
-                randomQuotes.add( quote );
-            }
-            return randomQuotes;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Add a fact to the fact set of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to add the fact to
-     * @param quote The new quote
-     */
-    public static void addFact( String noun, String fact )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            jedis.sadd( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun, fact );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the facts of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
-     * @return The set of facts for the noun
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getFacts( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.smembers( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get a random fact from the set of facts of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
-     * @return A random fact for the noun
-     */
-    public static String getRandFact( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.srandmember( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the number of facts associated with a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
-     * @return The number of facts
-     */
-    public static Long getFactsLength( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.scard( keyOfFactSetsPrefix + noun );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get 5 random facts from the set of facts of a noun.
-     *
-     * @param noun The noun to get the facts of
-     * @return A List of 5 random facts for the noun
-     */
-    public static List<String> getRandFacts( String noun )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            List<String> randomFacts = new LinkedList<String>();
-            for ( int i = 0; i < COUNT; i++ )
-            {
-                String fact = getRandFact( noun );
-                randomFacts.add( fact );
-            }
-            return randomFacts;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/RedisDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/RedisDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 3f35f58d..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/RedisDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,19 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.JedisPool;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-
-/**
- * Interact with Redis database via Jedis. See http://redis.io/commands for info about the command methods.
- */
-public abstract class RedisDB
-{
-    protected static final JedisPool pool = Vilebot.getPool();
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/UserlistDB.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/UserlistDB.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 1ebd1ac0..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/db/UserlistDB.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,113 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.db;
-
-import java.util.Collection;
-import java.util.HashSet;
-import java.util.Set;
-
-import redis.clients.jedis.Jedis;
-
-public class UserlistDB
-    extends RedisDB
-{
-    private static final String keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix = "userlist-";
-
-    /**
-     * Get the nicks in a userlist.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The name of the list
-     * @return The set of nicks for the list
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getUsersIn( String listName )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            return jedis.smembers( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + listName );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Add the given nicks to a userlist.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The name of the list param The set of nicks for the list
-     * @param nicks The nicks to add
-     */
-    public static void addUsersTo( String listName, Collection<String> nicks )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            String[] nicksArray = new String[nicks.size()];
-            nicks.toArray( nicksArray );
-            jedis.sadd( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + listName, nicksArray );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Remove the given nicks from a userlist.
-     * 
-     * @param noun The name of the list param The set of nicks for the list
-     * @param nicks The nicks to remove
-     */
-    public static void removeUsersFrom( String listName, Collection<String> nicks )
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            String[] nicksArray = new String[nicks.size()];
-            nicks.toArray( nicksArray );
-            jedis.srem( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + listName, nicksArray );
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Get the set of the available userlists.
-     * 
-     * @return The set of userlists
-     */
-    public static Set<String> getLists()
-    {
-        Jedis jedis = pool.getResource();
-        try
-        {
-            // KEYS is O(n) operation, so it won't scale propery for large numbers of database keys.
-            // We're going to use it here however, as the number of keys in our database should never get large enough
-            // for this to matter, and the alternative of maintaining a set of userlists has the potential to be buggy.
-            Set<String> rawlists = jedis.keys( keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix + "*" );
-
-            Set<String> lists = new HashSet<String>();
-
-            // Strip the prefix from each of the keys to isolate the list name
-            int cut = keyOfUserlistSetsPrefix.length();
-            for ( String rawlist : rawlists )
-            {
-                String list = rawlist.substring( cut );
-                lists.add( list );
-            }
-
-            return lists;
-        }
-        finally
-        {
-            pool.returnResource( jedis );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminManagement.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminManagement.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 97e38a32..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminManagement.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,66 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.PasswordDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class AdminManagement
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern adminSetPattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin setadmin (\\S+) (\\S+)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern adminRemPattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin remadmin (\\S+)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher setMatcher = adminSetPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher remMatcher = adminRemPattern.matcher( text );
-        if ( setMatcher.matches() )
-            set( event, setMatcher );
-        if ( remMatcher.matches() )
-            rem( event, remMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void set( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String editedAdminNick = matcher.group( 1 );
-        String password = matcher.group( 2 );
-
-        // Note that an empty admin group will allow a setadmin command to succeed (self-bootstrapping)
-
-        String username = Sessions.getSession( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        if ( GroupDB.noAdmins() || GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-        {
-            if ( PasswordDB.setUserPassword( editedAdminNick, password ) )
-            {
-                GroupDB.addAdmin( editedAdminNick );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( "Added/modified admin " + editedAdminNick );
-        }
-        // }
-    }
-
-    // @Handler
-    private void rem( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String editedAdminNick = matcher.group( 1 );
-
-        String username = Sessions.getSession( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-        {
-            if ( GroupDB.remAdmin( editedAdminNick ) )
-            {
-                PasswordDB.remUserPassword( editedAdminNick );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( "Removed admin " + editedAdminNick );
-        }
-    }
-    // }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminPing.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminPing.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e71bd302..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/AdminPing.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,53 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.PrivateMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.output.OutputIRC;
-
-public class AdminPing
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    /**
-     * Do I have admin access?
-     */
-
-    @Override
-    public void onPrivateMessage( final PrivateMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String replyTarget = event.getUser().getNick();
-        OutputIRC outputQ = event.getBot().send();
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-        adminPing( outputQ, replyTarget, text, sender );
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onMessage( final MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String replyTarget = event.getChannel().getName();
-        OutputIRC outputQ = event.getBot().send();
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-        adminPing( outputQ, replyTarget, text, sender );
-    }
-
-    private void adminPing( OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget, String text, String sender )
-    {
-        if ( "!admin ping".equals( text ) )
-        {
-            String username = Sessions.getSession( sender );
-            if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-            {
-                outputQ.message( replyTarget, "You have an active admin session" );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                outputQ.message( replyTarget, "You do not have an active admin session" );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Auth.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Auth.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 36f93e88..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Auth.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,45 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.PasswordDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Auth
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern authPattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin auth (\\S+) (\\S+)" );
-
-    private static final long sessionLength = TimeUnit.MINUTES.toMillis( 5 );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = authPattern.matcher( text );
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String username = BaseNick.toBaseNick( matcher.group( 1 ) );
-            String password = matcher.group( 2 );
-
-            if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) && PasswordDB.isValidPassword( username, password ) )
-            {
-                Sessions.addSession( sender, username, sessionLength );
-                event.respondWith( "Authentication successful. Session active for "
-                    + TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS.toMinutes( sessionLength ) + " minutes." );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Authentication failed" );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/GetLog.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/GetLog.java
deleted file mode 100644
index fe3e37b6..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/GetLog.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,43 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.LogDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class GetLog
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern showLog = Pattern.compile( "!admin showLog$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern deleteLog = Pattern.compile( "!admin deleteLog$" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-        String username = Sessions.getSession( sender );
-
-        boolean showLogMatches = showLog.matcher( text ).matches();
-        boolean deleteLogMatches = deleteLog.matcher( text ).matches();
-
-        if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-        {
-            if ( showLogMatches )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Getting log..." );
-                event.respondWith( LogDB.getLog() );
-            }
-            else if ( deleteLogMatches )
-            {
-                LogDB.deleteLog();
-                event.respondWith( "Log deleted" );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Help.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Help.java
deleted file mode 100644
index a50f99ca..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Help.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,47 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Help
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern helpPattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin help" );
-
-    private static final String helpMessage = generateHelpMessage();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = helpPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( helpMessage );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static String generateHelpMessage()
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        sb.append( "Available Commands:" );
-
-        sb.append( " { !admin help }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin ping }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin auth <user> <pass> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin quit }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin nick <nick> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin op <nick> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin unrank <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin unop <nick> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin setadmin <nick> <pass> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !admin remadmin <nick> }" );
-
-        return sb.toString();
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/NickChange.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/NickChange.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 5d5aaa11..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/NickChange.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,43 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class NickChange
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nickChangePattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin nick ([a-zA-Z][a-zA-Z0-9-_|]+)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = nickChangePattern.matcher( text );
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String username = Sessions.getSession( sender );
-            if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-            {
-                String newNick = matcher.group( 1 );
-                event.getBot().send().changeNick( newNick );
-                BaseNick.addBotNick( newNick );
-
-                event.respondWith( "Nick changed" );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Ops.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Ops.java
deleted file mode 100644
index eb92ab77..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Ops.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,94 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Ops
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nickPattern = Pattern.compile( "(\\S+)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern addRemOpPattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "!admin (un|)op ((?:" + nickPattern + "(?:, +| +|$))+)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = addRemOpPattern.matcher( text );
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String username = Sessions.getSession( sender );
-            if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-            {
-                String mode = BaseNick.toBaseNick( matcher.group( 1 ) );
-                String nickBlob = matcher.group( 2 );
-
-                List<String> nicks = new LinkedList<>();
-                Matcher nickMatcher = nickPattern.matcher( nickBlob );
-                while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-                {
-                    nicks.add( BaseNick.toBaseNick( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) ) );
-                }
-
-                StringBuilder successNicks = new StringBuilder();
-                StringBuilder failureNicks = new StringBuilder();
-
-                if ( "un".equals( mode ) )
-                {
-                    for ( String nick : nicks )
-                    {
-                        StringBuilder selectedSB;
-                        if ( GroupDB.remOp( nick ) )
-                            selectedSB = successNicks;
-                        else
-                            selectedSB = failureNicks;
-
-                        selectedSB.append( nick );
-                        selectedSB.append( " " );
-                    }
-
-                    if ( successNicks.length() > 0 )
-                        event.respondWith( "Removed " + successNicks.toString() + "from operator group" );
-                    if ( failureNicks.length() > 0 )
-                        event.respondWith( failureNicks.toString() + "was/were not in the operator group" );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    for ( String nick : nicks )
-                    {
-                        StringBuilder selectedSB;
-                        if ( GroupDB.addOp( nick ) )
-                            selectedSB = successNicks;
-                        else
-                            selectedSB = failureNicks;
-
-                        selectedSB.append( nick );
-                        selectedSB.append( " " );
-                    }
-
-                    if ( successNicks.length() > 0 )
-                        event.respondWith( "Added " + successNicks.toString() + "to operator group" );
-                    if ( failureNicks.length() > 0 )
-                        event.respondWith( failureNicks.toString() + "was/were already in the operator group" );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Quit.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Quit.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 639d0c62..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/admin/Quit.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,34 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.admin;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-public class Quit
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        String nick = event.getUser().getNick();
-
-        if ( "!admin quit".equals( text ) )
-        {
-            String username = Sessions.getSession( nick );
-            if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-            {
-                event.getBot().send().quitServer();
-
-                System.exit( 0 );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/AnswerQuestion.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/AnswerQuestion.java
deleted file mode 100644
index cf865eca..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/AnswerQuestion.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,118 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.w3c.dom.Document;
-import org.w3c.dom.NodeList;
-import org.xml.sax.InputSource;
-
-import javax.xml.parsers.DocumentBuilder;
-import javax.xml.parsers.DocumentBuilderFactory;
-import java.io.StringReader;
-import java.io.UnsupportedEncodingException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.net.URLEncoder;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class AnswerQuestion
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern questionPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(tellme)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    private static final String API_KEY = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "wolframKey" );
-
-    private static final int MAX_RESPONSE = 500;
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher tellMeMatcher = questionPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( tellMeMatcher.matches() )
-            tellMe( event, tellMeMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void tellMe( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String question = matcher.group( 2 );
-        String answer = getAnswer( question );
-        answer = truncate( answer );
-        for ( String line : answer.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getAnswer( String searchTerm )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            String url = makeURL( searchTerm );
-            String response = getContent( url );
-            return parseResponse( response );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            return "I couldn't find an answer for that";
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String makeURL( String searchTerm )
-        throws UnsupportedEncodingException
-    {
-        searchTerm = URLEncoder.encode( searchTerm, "UTF-8" );
-        return "http://api.wolframalpha.com/v2/query?input=" + searchTerm + "&appid=" + API_KEY
-            + "&format=plaintext&output=XML";
-    }
-
-    private String getContent( String url )
-    {
-        String content = null;
-        URLConnection connection;
-        try
-        {
-            connection = new URL( url ).openConnection();
-            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-            content = scanner.next();
-        }
-        catch ( Exception ex )
-        {
-            ex.printStackTrace();
-        }
-        return content;
-    }
-
-    private String parseResponse( String response )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        DocumentBuilderFactory documentBuilderFactory = DocumentBuilderFactory.newInstance();
-        DocumentBuilder documentBuilder = documentBuilderFactory.newDocumentBuilder();
-        Document document = documentBuilder.parse( new InputSource( new StringReader( response ) ) );
-        NodeList nodeList = document.getElementsByTagName( "plaintext" );
-        String answer = nodeList.item( 0 ).getTextContent().trim() + "\n" + nodeList.item( 1 ).getTextContent().trim();
-
-        if ( answer.isEmpty() )
-        {
-            throw new Exception();
-        }
-
-        return answer;
-    }
-
-    private String truncate( String response )
-    {
-        if ( response.length() > MAX_RESPONSE )
-        {
-            response = response.substring( 0, MAX_RESPONSE ) + "...";
-        }
-        return response;
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ascii.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ascii.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 15cf6853..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ascii.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,191 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.github.lalyos.jfiglet.FigletFont;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.File;
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.Collections;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Ascii
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern asciiPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(ascii)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern asciiFontsPattern = Pattern.compile( "!asciifonts" );
-
-    private static final int MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE = 20;
-
-    private static final int MAX_CHARS = MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE * 3; // max 3 lines
-
-    private static final String fontFile = "./files/fonts/%s.flf";
-
-    private static final String fontFileDir = "./files/fonts/";
-
-    private static final List<String> availableFonts = getAvailableFonts();
-
-    public LimitCommand limitCommand = new LimitCommand();
-
-    private static final String RESTRICTED_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher asciiMatch = asciiPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher asciifontsMatch = asciiFontsPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( asciiMatch.matches() )
-            ascii( event, asciiMatch );
-        if ( asciifontsMatch.matches() )
-            asciifonts( event );
-    }
-
-    private void ascii( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent
-            && ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( RESTRICTED_CHANNEL ) )
-        {
-            String isLimit = limitCommand.addUse( event.getUser().getNick() );
-            if ( isLimit.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                runAscii( event, matcher );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( isLimit );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            runAscii( event, matcher );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void asciifonts( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-        sb.append( "Available fonts for !ascii:\n" );
-        for ( int i = 0; i < availableFonts.size(); i++ )
-        {
-            sb.append( String.format( "%20s ", availableFonts.get( i ) ) );
-            if ( ( ( i + 1 ) % 5 ) == 0 )
-            {
-                sb.append( "\n" );
-            }
-        }
-        for ( String line : sb.toString().split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void runAscii( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher asciiMatch )
-    {
-        // check if first word is a font name
-        String font = asciiMatch.group( 2 ).split( " ", 2 )[0];
-        String asciiArt;
-        if ( availableFonts.contains( font ) )
-        {
-            String message = asciiMatch.group( 2 ).split( " ", 2 )[1];
-            asciiArt = getAsciiArt( message, font );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            String message = asciiMatch.group( 2 );
-            asciiArt = getAsciiArt( message );
-        }
-        for ( String line : asciiArt.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> getAvailableFonts()
-    {
-        List<String> fonts = new ArrayList<>();
-        for ( File flf : Objects.requireNonNull( new File( fontFileDir ).listFiles() ) )
-        {
-            if ( flf.isFile() )
-            {
-                String filename = flf.getName();
-                fonts.add( filename.substring( 0, filename.length() - 4 ) );
-            }
-        }
-        Collections.sort( fonts );
-        return fonts;
-    }
-
-    private static String getAsciiArt( String text )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            String[] lines = splitMessage( text );
-            for ( String line : lines )
-            {
-                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( line ) );
-            }
-            return sb.toString();
-        }
-        catch ( IOException e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            return "Could not get ASCII art";
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getAsciiArt( String text, String font )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            String[] lines = splitMessage( text );
-            for ( String line : lines )
-            {
-                sb.append( FigletFont.convertOneLine( String.format( fontFile, font ), line ) );
-            }
-            return sb.toString();
-        }
-        catch ( IOException e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            return "Could not get ASCII art";
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static String[] splitMessage( String message )
-    {
-        List<String> lines = new ArrayList<>();
-        if ( message.length() > MAX_CHARS )
-        {
-            message = message.substring( 0, MAX_CHARS );
-        }
-        int len = message.length();
-        for ( int i = 0; i < len; i += MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE )
-        {
-            int substrEndIdx = Math.min( len, i + MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE );
-            if ( i + MAX_CHARS_PER_LINE < len && Character.isLetter( message.charAt( substrEndIdx - 1 ) )
-                && Character.isLetter( message.charAt( substrEndIdx ) ) )
-            {
-                lines.add( message.substring( i, substrEndIdx ) + "-" );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                lines.add( message.substring( i, substrEndIdx ) );
-            }
-        }
-        return lines.toArray( new String[0] );
-    }
-
-}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ChatLogger.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ChatLogger.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 96512346..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ChatLogger.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,29 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.LogDB;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 18/08/15.
- */
-
-public class ChatLogger
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    @Override
-    public void onMessage( final MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String logChannel = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "markovChannel" );
-        String channel = event.getChannel().getName();
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        boolean shouldLog = channel.equals( logChannel ) && !text.startsWith( "!" );
-
-        if ( shouldLog )
-        {
-            LogDB.addItem( text + "\n" );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Church.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Church.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 59b05b2a..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Church.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,378 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.ChurchDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
-import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
-
-public class Church
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nounPattern = Pattern.compile( "\\S+" );
-
-    private static final Pattern donatePattern = Pattern.compile( "^!donate (-?[0-9]+)\\s*" );
-
-    private static final Pattern churchTotalPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!churchtotal" );
-
-    private static final Pattern topDonorsPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!topdonors" );
-
-    private static final Pattern setTitlesPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!settitle (.+)$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern inquisitPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!inquisit (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern topDonorsAyePattern = Pattern.compile( "^!aye" );
-
-    private static final Pattern topDonorsNayPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!nay" );
-
-    private static final long TIMEOUT = 30000L;
-
-    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
-
-    private static VoteEvent currentVote = null;
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher donateToChurchMatcher = donatePattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher viewChurchTotalMatcher = churchTotalPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher viewTopDonorsMatcher = topDonorsPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher setTitleMatcher = setTitlesPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher inquisitMatcher = inquisitPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher matcherAye = topDonorsAyePattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        Matcher matcherNay = topDonorsNayPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-
-        if ( donateToChurchMatcher.matches() )
-            donateToChurch( event, donateToChurchMatcher );
-        if ( viewChurchTotalMatcher.matches() )
-            viewChurchTotal( event );
-        if ( viewTopDonorsMatcher.matches() )
-            viewTopDonors( event );
-        if ( setTitleMatcher.matches() )
-            setTitle( event, setTitleMatcher );
-        if ( inquisitMatcher.matches() )
-            inquisit( event, inquisitMatcher );
-        if ( matcherAye.matches() || matcherNay.matches() )
-            inquisitDecision( event, matcherAye, matcherNay );
-    }
-
-    private void donateToChurch( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        if ( currentVote != null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There is an ongoing vote, you cannot donate at this time." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String rawDonationAmount = matcher.group( 1 );
-        String donor = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        Integer donationAmount = Integer.parseInt( rawDonationAmount );
-        Integer donorKarma = KarmaDB.getNounKarma( donor );
-        donorKarma = donorKarma == null ? 0 : donorKarma;
-        if ( donationAmount <= 0 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You cannot donate a non-positive number." );
-        }
-        else if ( donorKarma <= 0 || donorKarma < donationAmount )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You have insufficient karma to donate." );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            ChurchDB.modDonorKarma( donor, donationAmount );
-            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( donor, -1 * donationAmount );
-            Integer churchDonorKarma = ChurchDB.getDonorKarma( donor );
-            if ( churchDonorKarma != null && churchDonorKarma - donationAmount <= 0 )
-            {
-                ChurchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, " " );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( "Thank you for your donation of " + donationAmount + " " + donor + "!" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void viewChurchTotal( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        long totalDonations = ChurchDB.getTotalDonations();
-        long churchTotal = totalDonations + ChurchDB.getTotalNonDonations();
-        event.respondWith( "The church coffers contains " + churchTotal + ", of which " + totalDonations
-            + " was contributed by its loyal believers." );
-    }
-
-    // @Handler
-    private void viewTopDonors( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        // Matcher matcher = topDonorsPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        // if ( matcher.matches() )
-        // {
-        Set<String> nouns;
-        nouns = ChurchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0, 3 );
-        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "NICK           AMOUNT    TITLE" );
-            for ( String noun : nouns )
-            {
-                replyWithRankAndDonationAmount( noun, event );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "The church does not have enough followers yet." );
-        }
-        // }
-    }
-
-    // @Handler
-    private void setTitle( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        // Matcher matcher = setTitlesPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        // if ( matcher.matches() )
-        // {
-        String donor = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        Integer donorRank = ChurchDB.getDonorRank( donor );
-        if ( donorRank != null && donorRank > 4 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be a top donor to set your title." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String newTitle = matcher.group( 1 );
-        if ( newTitle.length() > 40 )
-        {
-            newTitle = newTitle.substring( 0, 39 );
-        }
-
-        String oldTitle = ChurchDB.getDonorTitle( donor );
-        ChurchDB.modDonorTitle( donor, newTitle );
-        event.respondWith( donor + " is now to be referred to as " + newTitle + " instead of " + oldTitle + "." );
-        // }
-    }
-
-    private void inquisit( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        if ( currentVote != null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There is an ongoing inquisition against " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget()
-                + ". Please use !aye or !nay to decide their fate" );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String donor = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        Integer donorRank = ChurchDB.getDonorRank( donor );
-        if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be a top donor to start an inquisition." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        StringBuilder membersToPing = new StringBuilder();
-        Set<String> nouns = ChurchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0, 3 );
-        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 3 )
-        {
-            for ( String noun : nouns )
-            {
-                membersToPing.append( noun ).append( " " );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There are not enough members of the church to invoke a vote" );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String inquisitedNick = BaseNick.toBaseNick( matcher.group( 1 ) );
-        Integer nounKarma = ChurchDB.getDonorKarma( inquisitedNick );
-        if ( nounKarma == null || nounKarma == 0 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You cannot start an inquisition against someone who has no donation value." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        event.respondWith( "An inquisition has started against " + inquisitedNick
-            + ". Please cast your votes with !aye or !nay" );
-        event.respondWith( membersToPing.toString() );
-        startInquisitionVote( event, inquisitedNick, donorRank );
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void startInquisitionVote( GenericMessageEvent event, String inquisitedNick, int donorRank )
-    {
-        currentVote = new VoteEvent();
-        currentVote.setDecisionTarget( inquisitedNick );
-        currentVote.updateVoteAye( donorRank );
-        startTimer( event );
-    }
-
-    private void inquisitDecision( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcherAye, Matcher matcherNay )
-    {
-        if ( currentVote == null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There is no ongoing vote." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String donor = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        Integer donorRank = ChurchDB.getDonorRank( donor );
-        if ( donorRank == null || donorRank > 4 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be a top donor to vote." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        if ( matcherAye.matches() )
-        {
-            currentVote.updateVoteAye( donorRank );
-        }
-        else if ( matcherNay.matches() )
-        {
-            currentVote.updateVoteNay( donorRank );
-        }
-
-        StringBuilder currentChoices = new StringBuilder();
-        int i = 1;
-        Set<String> nouns = ChurchDB.getDonorsByRanks( 0, 3 );
-        for ( String noun : Objects.requireNonNull( nouns ) )
-        {
-            currentChoices.append( noun ).append( " (" ).append( currentVote.getDonorVote( i++ ) ).append( ") " );
-        }
-        event.respondWith( currentChoices.toString() );
-    }
-
-    private void startTimer( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        timer.submit( () -> {
-            try
-            {
-                Thread.sleep( TIMEOUT );
-                timeoutTimer( event );
-            }
-            catch ( InterruptedException e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        } );
-    }
-
-    private void timeoutTimer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String message = "Voting is now finished\n";
-        if ( currentVote.isDecisionYes() )
-        {
-            message += "The vote to inquisit " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " has passed. "
-                + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " will be stripped of their karma.";
-            Integer donorKarma = ChurchDB.getDonorKarma( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() );
-            if ( donorKarma != null )
-            {
-                ChurchDB.modNonDonorKarma( donorKarma );
-                ChurchDB.removeDonor( currentVote.getDecisionTarget() );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            message += "The vote to inquisit " + currentVote.getDecisionTarget() + " has failed. Nothing will happen.";
-        }
-        for ( String line : message.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( line );
-        }
-        currentVote = null;
-    }
-
-    private static void replyWithRankAndDonationAmount( String noun, GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Integer nounKarma = ChurchDB.getDonorKarma( noun );
-        String nounTitle = ChurchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
-        if ( nounKarma != null )
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            sb.append( noun );
-            sb.reverse();
-            String nounString = sb.toString();
-            int nounLength = sb.length();
-            int spaceLength;
-            if ( nounLength <= 14 )
-            {
-                spaceLength = 15 - nounLength;
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                nounString = nounString.substring( 0, 14 );
-                spaceLength = 1;
-            }
-
-            String spaces_first = String.format( "%" + spaceLength + "s", "" );
-            if ( nounKarma.toString().length() <= 9 )
-            {
-                spaceLength = 10 - nounKarma.toString().length();
-            }
-
-            String spaces_second = String.format( "%" + spaceLength + "s", "" );
-            event.respondWith( nounString + spaces_first + nounKarma.toString() + spaces_second + nounTitle );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static class VoteEvent
-    {
-        private boolean[] topDonorDecisions;
-
-        private String decisionTarget;
-
-        VoteEvent()
-        {
-            topDonorDecisions = new boolean[4];
-            for ( int i = 0; i < 4; i++ )
-            {
-                topDonorDecisions[i] = false;
-            }
-            decisionTarget = null;
-        }
-
-        void updateVoteAye( int donorRank )
-        {
-            topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1] = true;
-        }
-
-        void updateVoteNay( int donorRank )
-        {
-            topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1] = false;
-        }
-
-        boolean getDonorVote( int donorRank )
-        {
-            return topDonorDecisions[donorRank - 1];
-        }
-
-        boolean isDecisionYes()
-        {
-            int totalValue = 0;
-            if ( topDonorDecisions[0] )
-                totalValue += 5;
-            if ( topDonorDecisions[1] )
-                totalValue += 3;
-            if ( topDonorDecisions[2] )
-                totalValue += 3;
-            if ( topDonorDecisions[3] )
-                totalValue += 1;
-            return totalValue > 6;
-        }
-
-        void setDecisionTarget( String target )
-        {
-            decisionTarget = target;
-        }
-
-        String getDecisionTarget()
-        {
-            return decisionTarget;
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Countdown.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Countdown.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 70307eb6..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Countdown.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,447 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import bsh.EvalError;
-import bsh.Interpreter;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.apache.commons.lang3.ArrayUtils;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.PrivateMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.Arrays;
-import java.util.Collections;
-import java.util.Hashtable;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
-import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by ipun on 29/06/17. Countdown implementation based off of Trivia.java
- */
-public class Countdown
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final String COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "countdownChannel" );
-
-    private static final long TIMEOUT = 45000L;
-
-    private static final int ANSWER_THRESHOLD = 200;
-
-    private static final int INVALID_STAKE = 10;
-
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
-
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
-
-    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
-
-    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
-
-    private static final Pattern countdownPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!countdown" );
-
-    private static final Pattern answerPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!solution (.*)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern rulesPattern = Pattern.compile( "!countdownrules" );
-
-    private static CountdownGame currGame = null;
-
-    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
-
-    private static class CountdownGame
-    {
-        private final int VALID_NUMBER_COUNT = 6;
-
-        private final List<Integer> LARGE_NUMBERS = new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 25, 50, 75, 100 ) );
-
-        private final List<Integer> SMALL_NUMBERS =
-            new ArrayList<>( Arrays.asList( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ) );
-
-        private List<Integer> questionNumbers = new ArrayList<>();
-
-        private Hashtable<String, String> submissions = new Hashtable<>();
-
-        private Hashtable<String, Integer> answers = new Hashtable<>();
-
-        private Hashtable<String, Integer> winners = new Hashtable<>();
-
-        private int largeNumberCount;
-
-        private int smallNumberCount;
-
-        private int targetNumber;
-
-        Interpreter interpreter;
-
-        Random rand = new Random();
-
-        CountdownGame()
-        {
-            shuffleNumbers();
-            largeNumberCount = rand.nextInt( LARGE_NUMBERS.size() + 1 );
-            smallNumberCount = VALID_NUMBER_COUNT - largeNumberCount;
-            questionNumbers.addAll( LARGE_NUMBERS.subList( 0, largeNumberCount ) );
-            questionNumbers.addAll( SMALL_NUMBERS.subList( 0, smallNumberCount ) );
-            targetNumber = generateTargetNumber();
-        }
-
-        // target number should be between 100-999.
-        private int generateTargetNumber()
-        {
-            return rand.nextInt( 900 ) + 100;
-        }
-
-        private String getSubmissionAndAnswer( String contestant )
-        {
-            return String.format( "%s = %d", getSubmission( contestant ), getAnswer( contestant ) );
-        }
-
-        private int getAnswer( String contestant )
-        {
-            return answers.get( contestant );
-        }
-
-        private String getSubmission( String contestant )
-        {
-            return submissions.get( contestant );
-        }
-
-        private void setSubmission( String contestant, String submission, int interpretedAnswer )
-        {
-            submissions.put( contestant, submission );
-            answers.put( contestant, interpretedAnswer );
-            int karma = karmaAwarded( contestant );
-            if ( karma > 0 )
-            {
-                winners.put( contestant, karma );
-            }
-        }
-
-        private int karmaAwarded( String contestant )
-        {
-            if ( answers.containsKey( contestant ) )
-            {
-                return 10 - ( Math.abs( targetNumber - answers.get( contestant ) ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                return 0;
-            }
-        }
-
-        private int getLargeNumberCount()
-        {
-            return largeNumberCount;
-        }
-
-        private int getSmallNumberCount()
-        {
-            return smallNumberCount;
-        }
-
-        private int getTargetNumber()
-        {
-            return targetNumber;
-        }
-
-        private List<Integer> getQuestionNumbers()
-        {
-            return questionNumbers;
-        }
-
-        private List<String> getCountdownIntro()
-        {
-            List<String> countdownIntro = new ArrayList<>();
-            countdownIntro.add( GREEN + "Welcome to Countdown!" + RESET );
-            countdownIntro.add( "See the game rules with !countdownrules." );
-            countdownIntro.addAll( Arrays.asList( getQuestion() ) );
-            countdownIntro.add( "Good luck! You have 45 seconds." );
-            return countdownIntro;
-        }
-
-        private String[] getQuestion()
-        {
-            return new String[] { "Your numbers are:", RED + getQuestionNumbers().toString() + RESET, "Your target is:",
-                RED + getTargetNumber() + RESET };
-        }
-
-        private void shuffleNumbers()
-        {
-            Collections.shuffle( LARGE_NUMBERS );
-            Collections.shuffle( SMALL_NUMBERS );
-        }
-
-        private int interpretedAnswer( String answer )
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            if ( noSpecialCharacters( answer ) )
-            {
-                if ( hasCorrectNumbers( answer ) )
-                {
-                    interpreter = new Interpreter();
-                    try
-                    {
-                        interpreter.eval( "result = " + answer );
-                        return ( (int) interpreter.get( "result" ) );
-                    }
-                    catch ( EvalError e )
-                    {
-                        e.printStackTrace();
-                        throw e;
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    throw new Exception( "wrong numbers are included in solution" );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                throw new Exception( "special characters are included in solution" );
-            }
-        }
-
-        private boolean noSpecialCharacters( String answer )
-        {
-            return answer.matches( "^[-*+/()\\s\\d]+$" );
-        }
-
-        private boolean hasCorrectNumbers( String answer )
-        {
-            String[] numList = answer.replaceAll( "[^\\d]+", " " ).trim().split( " " );
-            List<Integer> questionNums = new ArrayList<>( getQuestionNumbers() );
-            for ( String num : numList )
-            {
-                int number = Integer.valueOf( num );
-                if ( questionNums.contains( number ) )
-                {
-                    questionNums.remove( (Integer) number );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    return false;
-                }
-            }
-            return true;
-        }
-
-        private String[] alreadyPlaying()
-        {
-            return ArrayUtils.addAll( new String[] { "A current game is already in progress." }, getQuestion() );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher countdownMatcher = countdownPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher answerMatcher = answerPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher rulesMatcher = rulesPattern.matcher( text );
-        if ( countdownMatcher.matches() && correctChannel( event ) )
-        {
-            startCountdownGame( event );
-        }
-        else if ( answerMatcher.matches() && checkValidSubmission( event ) )
-        {
-            String answer = answerMatcher.group( 1 );
-            checkAnswer( event, answer );
-        }
-        else if ( rulesMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            for ( String line : getRules() )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( line );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean correctChannel( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent )
-        {
-            String currChannel = ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName();
-            if ( currChannel.equals( COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL ) )
-            {
-                return true;
-            }
-        }
-        event.respondWith( "To play Countdown join: " + COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL );
-        return false;
-    }
-
-    private boolean isPrivate( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return event instanceof PrivateMessageEvent;
-    }
-
-    private boolean checkValidSubmission( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( currGame == null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !countdown." );
-            return false;
-        }
-        else if ( ( isPrivate( event ) ) )
-        {
-            return true;
-        }
-
-        String currChannel = ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName();
-        if ( currChannel.equals( COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( getSubmissionRuleString( event ) );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "To play Countdown join : " + COUNTDOWN_CHANNEL );
-        }
-        return false;
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void startCountdownGame( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( currGame == null )
-        {
-            currGame = new CountdownGame();
-            for ( String line : currGame.getCountdownIntro() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( line );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( getSubmissionRuleString( event ) );
-            startTimer( event );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            for ( String line : currGame.alreadyPlaying() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( line );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void checkAnswer( GenericMessageEvent event, String submission )
-    {
-        String contestant = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        try
-        {
-            int contestantAnswer = currGame.interpretedAnswer( submission );
-            if ( !answerBreaksThreshold( currGame.getTargetNumber(), contestantAnswer ) )
-            {
-                if ( !currGame.submissions.containsKey( contestant ) )
-                {
-                    currGame.setSubmission( contestant, submission, contestantAnswer );
-                    event.respondWith( String.format( "Your submission of %s has been received!", submission ) );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( String.format( "Sorry %s, you've already submitted for this game.",
-                                                      contestant ) );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "You have put an answer that breaks the threshold of +-%d, you lose %d karma.",
-                                                  ANSWER_THRESHOLD, INVALID_STAKE ) );
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( contestant, -1 * INVALID_STAKE );
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            event.respondWith( String.format( "Sorry %s! You have put an invalid answer, you lose %d karma.",
-                                              contestant, INVALID_STAKE ) );
-            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( contestant, -1 * INVALID_STAKE );
-        }
-
-    }
-
-    private void startTimer( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        timer.submit( () -> {
-            try
-            {
-                Thread.sleep( TIMEOUT );
-                timeoutTimer( event );
-            }
-            catch ( InterruptedException e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        } );
-    }
-
-    private void timeoutTimer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Set<String> keys = currGame.submissions.keySet();
-        event.respondWith( String.format( "Your time is up! The target number was %s.",
-                                          RED + currGame.getTargetNumber() + RESET ) );
-        if ( !keys.isEmpty() )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "The final submissions are:" );
-            for ( String key : keys )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( key + ", with " + currGame.getSubmissionAndAnswer( key ) );
-            }
-            Set<String> winners = currGame.winners.keySet();
-            if ( !winners.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                int karmaAwarded;
-                event.respondWith( "The winners are :" );
-                for ( String winner : winners )
-                {
-                    karmaAwarded = currGame.karmaAwarded( winner );
-                    event.respondWith( winner + ", awarded " + karmaAwarded + " karma." );
-                    KarmaDB.modNounKarma( winner, karmaAwarded );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "There are no winners for this game. Better luck next time!" );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There were no submissions for this game. Better luck next time!" );
-        }
-        currGame = null;
-        stopTimer();
-    }
-
-    private void stopTimer()
-    {
-        timer.shutdownNow();
-        timer = Executors.newFixedThreadPool( 1 );
-    }
-
-    private boolean answerBreaksThreshold( int targetNumber, int contestantAnswer )
-    {
-        return ( Math.abs( targetNumber - contestantAnswer ) >= ANSWER_THRESHOLD );
-    }
-
-    private String[] getRules()
-    {
-        return new String[] { " " + RED + "COUNTDOWN RULES:" + RESET,
-            "1) Get as close as you can to the target number using only the numbers given.",
-            RED + "TIP: You do not have to use all the numbers." + RESET,
-            "2) Answer with !solution <your answer> . Make sure to only use valid characters, such as numbers and + - * / ( ) . ",
-            "Breaking Rule 2 will subject you to a loss of " + INVALID_STAKE + " karma.",
-            "3) The closer you are to the target number, the more karma you will get (max. 10).",
-            RED + "TIP: If you are over/under " + ANSWER_THRESHOLD + " you will be penalized " + INVALID_STAKE
-                + " karma." + RESET,
-            "4) Use \" /msg CountdownB0t !solution <your answer> \" for your answers." };
-    }
-
-    private String getSubmissionRuleString( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + event.getBot().getNick() + RED + " !solution < answer > \" to submit."
-            + RESET;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Decide.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Decide.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 8e0a4ecc..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Decide.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,87 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Decide
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern choicePattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(.+?)(?:\\s*\\|\\s*|\\s*$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern decidePattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "!decide (\\[.*\\] )?(\\{.*\\} )?(" + choicePattern + "+)" );
-
-    private static final Random random = new Random();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = decidePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String noun = matcher.group( 1 );
-            if ( noun == null || noun.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                noun = "you";
-            }
-            if ( !noun.equals( "you" ) )
-            {
-                noun = noun.substring( 1, noun.length() - 2 );
-            }
-
-            String prefix = matcher.group( 2 );
-            if ( prefix == null )
-            {
-                prefix = "";
-            }
-
-            if ( prefix.length() >= 2 )
-            {
-                prefix = prefix.substring( 1, prefix.length() - 2 ).concat( " " );
-            }
-            String choicesBlob = matcher.group( 3 );
-
-            // Process choices blob
-            List<String> choices = new LinkedList<String>();
-            Matcher choiceMatcher = choicePattern.matcher( choicesBlob );
-            while ( choiceMatcher.find() )
-            {
-                choices.add( choiceMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-            }
-
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-            if ( choices.size() == 1 )
-            {
-                sb.append( "If you already know what you want to do, what are you bugging me for? You should " );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                sb.append( "I think " + noun + " should " );
-            }
-
-            sb.append( prefix );
-
-            int selection = random.nextInt( choices.size() );
-            sb.append( choices.get( selection ).trim() );
-
-            sb.append( ". Go do that now." );
-
-            event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMe.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMe.java
deleted file mode 100644
index d0ece9c1..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMe.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,191 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.math.BigInteger;
-import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
-import java.net.InetAddress;
-import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.UnknownHostException;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class DownOrJustMe
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern DOWN_OR_JUST_ME_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!(downorjustme)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    private static final int PING_TIMEOUT = 3000;
-
-    private static final int HTTP_TIMEOUT = 5000;
-
-    private static final String[] DISALLOWED_SUBNETS = new String[] { "10.0.0.0/8" };
-
-    // Some sites check for this and returns non-2xx status. Ridiculous!
-    private static final String HTTP_UA =
-        "Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Fedora; Linux x86_64) AppleWebKit/537.36 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/77.0.3865.90 Safari/537.36";
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = DOWN_OR_JUST_ME_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            check( event, matcher );
-        }
-    }
-
-    protected static void check( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String hostnameOrUrl = matcher.group( 2 );
-        InetAddress destination;
-        try
-        {
-            destination = getHostNetAddress( hostnameOrUrl );
-        }
-        catch ( UnknownHostException e )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!" );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        try
-        {
-            validateDestination( destination );
-        }
-        catch ( IllegalArgumentException e )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( e.getMessage() );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        URL url;
-        try
-        {
-            url = new URL( hostnameOrUrl );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                url = new URL( "http", hostnameOrUrl, 80, "/" );
-            }
-            catch ( MalformedURLException ex )
-            {
-                throw new RuntimeException( ex ); // This should not happen
-            }
-        }
-
-        int status = httpGet( url );
-        if ( status >= 400 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "It responded with a non-2xx status code (" + status + "), but the host is up." );
-            return;
-        }
-        else if ( status != -1 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "LGTM! It's just you." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        if ( icmpPing( destination ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up." );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Nope, it's not just you. The host looks down from here, too!" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static InetAddress getHostNetAddress( String hostnameOrUrl )
-        throws UnknownHostException
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            return InetAddress.getByName( new URL( hostnameOrUrl ).getHost() );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            // noop
-        }
-
-        return InetAddress.getByName( hostnameOrUrl );
-    }
-
-    private static void validateDestination( InetAddress destination )
-    {
-        if ( destination.isMulticastAddress() )
-        {
-            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "A multicast address? Seriously? Stop flooding the network already." );
-        }
-
-        if ( destination.isLoopbackAddress() )
-        {
-            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "You wouldn't think I was that vulnerable, right?" );
-        }
-
-        for ( String subnet : DISALLOWED_SUBNETS )
-        {
-            InetAddress id;
-            try
-            {
-                id = InetAddress.getByName( subnet.split( "/" )[0] );
-            }
-            catch ( UnknownHostException e )
-            {
-                throw new RuntimeException( "Check DISALLOWED_SUBNETS constant validity!" );
-            }
-            int maskLength = Integer.parseInt( subnet.split( "/" )[1] );
-
-            byte[] idBytes = id.getAddress();
-            byte[] destinationBytes = destination.getAddress();
-            if ( idBytes.length != destinationBytes.length )
-            {
-                continue; // Don't match between IPv4 and IPv6
-            }
-
-            if ( new BigInteger( idBytes ).shiftRight( idBytes.length
-                * 8 - maskLength ).equals(
-                                           new BigInteger( destinationBytes ).shiftRight( destinationBytes.length * 8
-                                               - maskLength ) ) )
-            {
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "Ah-ha! Destinations in subnet " + subnet + " are not allowed." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static boolean icmpPing( InetAddress destination )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            return destination.isReachable( PING_TIMEOUT );
-        }
-        catch ( IOException e )
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static int httpGet( URL url )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            HttpURLConnection httpClient = (HttpURLConnection) url.openConnection();
-            httpClient.setConnectTimeout( HTTP_TIMEOUT );
-            httpClient.setReadTimeout( HTTP_TIMEOUT );
-            httpClient.setRequestMethod( "GET" );
-            httpClient.setRequestProperty( "User-Agent", HTTP_UA );
-            return httpClient.getResponseCode();
-        }
-        catch ( IOException e )
-        {
-            return -1;
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Excuses.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Excuses.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 830d70e4..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Excuses.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,36 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.ExcuseDB;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Excuses
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern excusePattern = Pattern.compile( "!excuse" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = excusePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String excuse = ExcuseDB.getRandExcuse();
-            if ( excuse != null )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( excuse );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "No excuses available" );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    // TODO method to add excuses
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNews.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNews.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4adedfbc..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNews.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,115 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2019 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.NewsParser;
-import org.apache.commons.lang3.tuple.ImmutablePair;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-
-import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class FakeNews
-    extends NewsParser
-{
-
-    private static final Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( FakeNews.class );
-
-    private static final String DEFAULT_CATEGORY = "canada";
-
-    private static final LinkedHashMap<String, ImmutablePair<String, URL>> fakeNewsFeedsByCategory =
-        new LinkedHashMap<>();
-    static
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries",
-                                                              new URL( "https://www.thebeaverton.com/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa", new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries",
-                                                                     new URL( "https://www.theonion.com/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "belgium",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries", new URL( "https://nordpresse.be/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "france",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries", new URL( "http://www.legorafi.fr/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "india", new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries",
-                                                                       new URL( "http://www.fakingnews.com/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "russia",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries", new URL( "https://fognews.ru/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "serbia",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries", new URL( "https://www.njuz.net/rss" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "venezuela",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries",
-                                                              new URL( "http://feeds.feedburner.com/elchiguirebipolar" ) ) );
-            fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.put( "newzealand",
-                                         new ImmutablePair<>( "Countries",
-                                                              new URL( "http://www.thecivilian.co.nz/rss" ) ) );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( "Error loading fake news URLs" );
-            throw new RuntimeException( e );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static final Pattern FAKE_NEWS_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!fakenews(?: ([a-zA-Z]+)|)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern FAKE_NEWS_HELP_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!fakenews help" );
-
-    private final String HELP_MESSAGE = generateHelpMessage();
-
-    private final String HELP_COMMAND = "'!fakenews help'";
-
-    public static LimitCommand limitCommand = new LimitCommand();
-
-    private static final String RESTRICTED_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = FAKE_NEWS_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        Matcher helpMatcher = FAKE_NEWS_HELP_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( helpMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            for ( String line : HELP_MESSAGE.split( "\n" ) )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( line );
-            }
-        }
-        else if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            currentNews( event, matcher, fakeNewsFeedsByCategory, DEFAULT_CATEGORY, HELP_COMMAND, limitCommand,
-                         RESTRICTED_CHANNEL, logger );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    protected String generateHelpMessage()
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        sb.append( "Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-
-        for ( String category : fakeNewsFeedsByCategory.keySet() )
-        {
-            sb.append( " { " + category + " }" );
-        }
-
-        return sb.toString();
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Fortune.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Fortune.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4e314abd..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Fortune.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,77 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.nio.charset.Charset;
-import java.nio.file.Files;
-import java.nio.file.Paths;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by ipun on 15/05/16.
- */
-public class Fortune
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern FORTUNE_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!fortune(.*)" );
-
-    private static final String FORTUNE_LIST_PATH = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "FortuneList" );
-
-    private ArrayList<String> fortune = loadFortunes();
-
-    private static final String DIRTY_ARG = "dirty";
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher fortuneMatcher = FORTUNE_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        try
-        {
-            if ( fortuneMatcher.matches() )
-            {
-                String dirty = fortuneMatcher.group( 1 );
-                if ( dirty == null || dirty.isEmpty() )
-                {
-                    fortuneReply( event );
-                }
-                else if ( dirty.equals( DIRTY_ARG ) )
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( "oooo you dirty" );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void fortuneReply( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String randomFortune = fortune.get( new Random().nextInt( fortune.size() ) );
-        event.respondWith( randomFortune );
-    }
-
-    private ArrayList<String> loadFortunes()
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            List<String> lines = Files.readAllLines( Paths.get( FORTUNE_LIST_PATH ), Charset.forName( "UTF-8" ) );
-            return new ArrayList<>( lines );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/GetInfoOn.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/GetInfoOn.java
deleted file mode 100644
index c77958f5..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/GetInfoOn.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,112 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
-import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
-import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.net.URLEncoder;
-import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class GetInfoOn
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern questionPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(infoon)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern dumbQuestionPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(infun)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher infoonMatch = questionPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( infoonMatch.matches() )
-        {
-            String question = infoonMatch.group( 2 );
-            String queryModifier = " site:wikipedia.org";
-            String answer = getWiki( question, queryModifier );
-            for ( String line : answer.split( "\n" ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( line );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getWiki( String query, String queryModifier )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            String wikiURL = getWikiURLFromGoogle( query + queryModifier );
-            String wikipediaContent = getContent( wikiURL );
-            return parseResponse( wikipediaContent );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            return "Look, I don't know.";
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getWikiURLFromGoogle( String query )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String googleURL = makeGoogleURL( query );
-        String googleResponse = getContent( googleURL );
-        return getWikiLink( googleResponse );
-    }
-
-    private String makeGoogleURL( String query )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        query = encode( query );
-        return "https://www.google.com/search?q=" + query;
-    }
-
-    private String getWikiLink( String googleHTML )
-    {
-        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( googleHTML );
-        Element link = doc.select( "a[href*=/url?q=https://en.wikipedia]" ).first();
-        return link.attr( "href" ).replace( "/url?q=", "" ).split( "&" )[0];
-    }
-
-    private String getContent( String url )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String content;
-        URLConnection connection;
-        connection = new URL( url ).openConnection();
-        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
-        Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-        scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-        content = scanner.next();
-        return content;
-    }
-
-    private String parseResponse( String response )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( response );
-        Element bodyDiv = doc.getElementById( "mw-content-text" );
-        Element firstParagraph = bodyDiv.getElementsByTag( "p" ).first();
-        String answer = firstParagraph.text();
-        if ( answer.isEmpty() )
-        {
-            throw new Exception();
-        }
-        answer = answer.replaceAll( "\\[[0-9]+\\]", "" );
-        return answer;
-    }
-
-    private String encode( String string )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        return URLEncoder.encode( string, StandardCharsets.UTF_8 );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Help.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Help.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 70c29d56..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Help.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,130 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Help
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern helpPattern = Pattern.compile( "!help" );
-
-    private static final String helpMessage = generateHelpMessage();
-
-    /**
-     * Reply to user !help command with help info
-     */
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = helpPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( helpMessage );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static String generateHelpMessage()
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        sb.append( "Available Commands:" );
-
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  General:" );
-        sb.append( " { !help }" );
-        sb.append( " { !ping }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Karma:" );
-        sb.append( " { noun++ }" );
-        sb.append( " { noun-- }" );
-        sb.append( " { noun+- }" );
-        sb.append( " { !rank <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !revrank <place> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !rankn <place> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !revrankn <place> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !topthree }" );
-        sb.append( " { !bottomthree }" );
-        sb.append( " { !roll [for] [<karma wager>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !rollcancel }" );
-        sb.append( " { !transfer <noun> <karma amount> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !transfercancel }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Games:" );
-        sb.append( " { !rps <noun> [<dared thing>]}" );
-        sb.append( " { !rpsrules }" );
-        sb.append( " { !rpscancel }" );
-        sb.append( " { !(rock|paper|scissors) }" );
-        sb.append( " { !omgword }" );
-        sb.append( " { !answer <answer to omgword>}" );
-        sb.append( " { !jeopardy }" );
-        sb.append( " { !whatis <answer to jeopardy question>}" );
-        sb.append( " { !whois <answer to jeopardy question>}" );
-        sb.append( " { !countdown } " );
-        sb.append( " { !solution < numbered answer using symbols +-/*() > } " );
-        sb.append( " { !countdownrules } " );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Fun:" );
-        sb.append( " { !kaomoji <emotion> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !excuse }" );
-        sb.append( " { !randommeme }" );
-        sb.append( " { !chuck }" );
-        sb.append( " { !dance }" );
-        sb.append( " { !speak }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Facts/Quotes:" );
-        sb.append( " { !fact <noun> [!jaziz] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quote <noun> [!jaziz] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !factrandom5 <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quoterandom5 <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !factdump <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quotedump <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !factadd <noun> <quote> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quoteadd <noun> <quote> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !factsearch <noun> <regex> [!jaziz] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quotesearch <noun> <regex> [!jaziz] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !factnumber <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !quotenumber <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Utility:" );
-        sb.append( " { s/foo/bar[/[g] [<noun>]] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !decide [<noun>] {<prefix>} <choice1>[|<choice2>]... }" );
-        sb.append( " { !weather [<IATA code>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !lessweather [<IATA code>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !moreweather [<IATA code>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !tellme <question> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !infoon <wikipedia query> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !ttc }" );
-        sb.append( " { !remindme <message> <time><d/m/s> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !ascii [<font>] <message> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !asciifonts }" );
-        sb.append( " { !news [<category>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !fakenews [<category>] }" );
-        sb.append( " { !downorjustme <hostname|url> }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Userlists:" );
-        sb.append( " { !list <listname> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !listadd <listname> <noun>[,|, | ][<noun2>]... }" );
-        sb.append( " { !listrem <listname> <noun>[,|, | ][<noun2>]... }" );
-        sb.append( " { listname: [message] }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Church:" );
-        sb.append( " { !churchtotal }" );
-        sb.append( " { !donate <karma amount> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !gospel }" );
-        sb.append( " { !inquisit <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !settitle <noun> }" );
-        sb.append( " { !topdonors }" );
-        return sb.toString();
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ImageToAscii.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ImageToAscii.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 7287a332..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/ImageToAscii.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,68 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.ASCII;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import javax.imageio.ImageIO;
-import java.awt.*;
-import java.awt.image.BufferedImage;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 17/08/15.
- */
-
-public class ImageToAscii
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern questionPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(convert)\\s(.+)$" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = questionPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String URL = matcher.group( 2 );
-            try
-            {
-                String image = convertImage( URL );
-                event.respondWith( image );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Could not convert image." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String convertImage( String strURL )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        URL url = new URL( strURL );
-        BufferedImage image = ImageIO.read( url );
-        image = shrink( image );
-        return new ASCII().convert( image );
-    }
-
-    private BufferedImage shrink( BufferedImage image )
-    {
-        int MAX_WIDTH = 50;
-        int height = image.getHeight();
-        int width = image.getWidth();
-        float ratio = (float) height / width;
-        int newHeight = Math.round( ( MAX_WIDTH * ratio ) * 0.56f );
-
-        BufferedImage newImage = new BufferedImage( MAX_WIDTH, newHeight, BufferedImage.TYPE_INT_RGB );
-
-        Graphics g = newImage.createGraphics();
-        g.drawImage( image, 0, 0, MAX_WIDTH, newHeight, null );
-        g.dispose();
-        return newImage;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Inspiration.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Inspiration.java
deleted file mode 100644
index bb0c12d9..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Inspiration.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,99 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.nio.charset.Charset;
-import java.nio.file.Files;
-import java.nio.file.Paths;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.Arrays;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by ipun on 15/05/16.
- */
-
-public class Inspiration
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern FORTUNE_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!inspiration(.*)" );
-
-    private static final String FORTUNE_LIST_PATH = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "InspirationList" );
-
-    private static final String FORTUNE_INDEX_PATH = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "InspirationIndex" );
-
-    private ArrayList<String> inspiration = loadInspirations();
-
-    private List<String> inspirationIndex = loadInspirationIndex();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher inspirationMatcher = FORTUNE_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        try
-        {
-            if ( inspirationMatcher.matches() )
-            {
-                String dirty = inspirationMatcher.group( 1 );
-                if ( dirty == null || dirty.isEmpty() )
-                {
-                    inspirationReply( event );
-                }
-
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void inspirationReply( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        int index = Integer.parseInt( inspirationIndex.get( new Random().nextInt( inspirationIndex.size() - 1 ) ) );
-        String line = inspiration.get( index );
-        while ( !line.matches( "%" ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( line );
-            line = inspiration.get( ++index );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private ArrayList<String> loadInspirations()
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            List<String> lines = Files.readAllLines( Paths.get( FORTUNE_LIST_PATH ), Charset.forName( "UTF-8" ) );
-            return new ArrayList<>( lines );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    private List<String> loadInspirationIndex()
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            String lines = new String( Files.readAllBytes( Paths.get( FORTUNE_INDEX_PATH ) ) );
-            return Arrays.asList( lines.split( "\n" ) );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            e.printStackTrace();
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jaziz.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jaziz.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 36068fe3..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jaziz.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,156 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import twitter4j.JSONArray;
-import twitter4j.JSONException;
-import twitter4j.JSONObject;
-
-import java.io.FileNotFoundException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 27/07/16.
- */
-
-public class Jaziz
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final String API_KEY = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "thesaurusKey" );
-
-    private static final String API_URL = "http://words.bighugelabs.com/api/2/" + API_KEY + "/";
-
-    private static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
-
-    private static final Random random = new Random();
-
-    private static final Pattern jazizPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!jaziz (.+)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Matcher questionMatcher = jazizPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        if ( questionMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String message = questionMatcher.group( 1 );
-            try
-            {
-                message = jazizify( message );
-                event.respondWith( message );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "eeeh" );
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    static String jazizify( String message )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String[] words = splitWords( message );
-        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length; i++ )
-        {
-            if ( !words[i].contains( " " ) )
-            {
-                String replacement = words[i].length() > 3 ? randomChoice( getSynonyms( words[i] ) ) : words[i];
-                if ( !replacement.isEmpty() )
-                {
-                    words[i] = replacement;
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        return stringify( words );
-    }
-
-    private static String[] splitWords( String message )
-    {
-        return message.split( "\\b" );
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> getSynonyms( String word )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        JSONObject json = new JSONObject( getContent( word ) );
-
-        List<String> synonyms = new ArrayList<String>();
-        String[] wordTypes = { "adjective", "noun", "adverb", "verb", "pronoun" };
-        for ( String type : wordTypes )
-        {
-            if ( json.has( type ) )
-            {
-                JSONArray syns = getSyns( json.getJSONObject( type ) );
-                synonyms.addAll( jsonToList( syns ) );
-            }
-        }
-        return synonyms;
-    }
-
-    private static JSONArray getSyns( JSONObject json )
-        throws JSONException
-    {
-        return json.has( "syn" ) ? json.getJSONArray( "syn" ) : new JSONArray();
-    }
-
-    private static String randomChoice( List<String> list )
-    {
-        if ( list.size() == 0 )
-        {
-            return "";
-        }
-        int index = random.nextInt( list.size() );
-        return list.get( index );
-    }
-
-    private static String stringify( String[] list )
-    {
-        StringBuilder builder = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( String word : list )
-        {
-            builder.append( word );
-        }
-        return builder.toString().trim();
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> jsonToList( JSONArray array )
-        throws JSONException
-    {
-        List<String> words = new ArrayList<>();
-        for ( int i = 0; i < array.length(); i++ )
-        {
-            words.add( array.getString( i ) );
-        }
-        return words;
-    }
-
-    private static String getContent( String word )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String content;
-        URLConnection connection;
-        connection = new URL( API_URL + word + API_FORMAT ).openConnection();
-        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
-        try
-        {
-            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-            content = scanner.next();
-            return content;
-        }
-        catch ( FileNotFoundException e )
-        {
-            return "{}";
-        }
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jokes.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jokes.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 2d46e0d8..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Jokes.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,193 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.CharactersThatBreakEclipse;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-public class Jokes
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern listJokePattern = Pattern.compile( "!(randommeme|dance|chuck)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern redditPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?i)reddit" );
-
-    private static final Pattern containerPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?i)container" );
-
-    private static final Random random = new Random();
-
-    private static final List<String> memes = generateMemes();
-
-    private static final List<String> dances = generateDances();
-
-    private static final List<String> chucks = generateChucks();
-
-    private static final List<String> jokes = generateJokes();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher containersIsLinuxMatcher = containerPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher redditLODMatcher = redditPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher listBasedJokesMatcher = listJokePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( containersIsLinuxMatcher.find() )
-            containersIsLinux( event );
-        if ( redditLODMatcher.matches() )
-            redditLOD( event );
-        if ( listBasedJokesMatcher.matches() )
-            listBasedJokes( event, listBasedJokesMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void containersIsLinux( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        event.respondWith( jokes.get( random.nextInt( jokes.size() ) ) );
-    }
-
-    private void redditLOD( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( random.nextInt( 10 ) > 6 )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Reply to user !randommeme command with a random selection from the meme list
-     */
-    private void listBasedJokes( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String mode = matcher.group( 1 );
-
-        String reply;
-
-        if ( "dance".equals( mode ) )
-            reply = dances.get( random.nextInt( dances.size() ) );
-        else if ( "chuck".equals( mode ) )
-            reply = chucks.get( random.nextInt( chucks.size() ) );
-        else
-            reply = memes.get( random.nextInt( memes.size() ) );
-
-        event.respondWith( reply );
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> generateChucks()
-    {
-        List<String> chucks = new ArrayList<>();
-
-        // Anyone called Chuck except Chuck Norris
-
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Palahniuk once said, \"Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Tanner once said, \"If you don't like the way the Atlanta Braves are playing then you don't like baseball.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Berry once said, \"Roll over, Beethoven, and tell Tchaikovsky the news.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Yeager once said, \"Rules are made for people who aren't willing to make up their own.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Klosterman once said, \"I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not your enemy.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Jones once said, \"A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Close once said, \"I'm very learning-disabled, and I think it drove me to what I'm doing.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck D once said, \"I think governments are the cancer of civilization.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Knox once said, \"Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.\"" );
-        chucks.add( "Chuck Zito once said, \"If the challenge to fight was there, I always took it.\"" );
-
-        return chucks;
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> generateDances()
-    {
-        List<String> dances = new ArrayList<String>();
-
-        dances.add( "No. " + CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT );
-        dances.add( "Bots as vile as I do not dance." );
-        dances.add( "ScumbagBot does not dance." );
-        dances.add( "Chuck Norris once asked me to dance. He didn't have a comeback after the roundhouse kickban." );
-        dances.add( CharactersThatBreakEclipse.KIRBYFLIP + "\n*kills Kirby*\n*kills dance*" );
-        dances.add( "Does doing a barrel roll count?" );
-
-        return dances;
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> generateMemes()
-    {
-        List<String> memes = new ArrayList<>();
-
-        memes.add( CharactersThatBreakEclipse.LODEMOT );
-        memes.add( "Derp." );
-        memes.add( "looks like this string was, *puts on glasses*\nnull terminated.\nYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" );
-        memes.add( "Yo Dawg" );
-        memes.add( "Imma gunna cut you so bad, you gunna wish I dun cut you so bad" );
-        memes.add( "So i herd u liek mudkipz" );
-        memes.add( "Never gunna give you up, Never gunna let you down!" );
-        memes.add( "DO A BARREL ROLL ._. |: .-. :| ._." );
-        memes.add( "ScumbagBot, shows up to the party, drinks all your beer." );
-        memes.add( "Don't tase me bro" );
-
-        return memes;
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> generateEaster()
-    {
-        List<String> easter = new ArrayList<String>();
-
-        easter.add( "I hate easter.  Laying foil-covered eggs is no fun, no fun at all." );
-        easter.add( "Buck, buck." );
-        easter.add( "twitches her nose.  Isn't that cute?" );
-        easter.add( "strains and grunts a little, and out pops a Cadbury cream egg!" );
-        easter.add( "Has anybody seen Santa Claus around?  He's supposed to cover for me on my lunch break." );
-        easter.add( "nibbles on a hunk of milk chocolate." );
-        easter.add( "takes three hops to the left." );
-        easter.add( "Buck." );
-        easter.add( "Bu-buck." );
-        easter.add( "takes three hops to the right." );
-        easter.add( "Bu-bu-buck." );
-        easter.add( "just sits here being fuzzy." );
-        easter.add( "Buck, buck, buck." );
-
-        return easter;
-    }
-
-    private static List<String> generateJokes()
-    {
-        List<String> jokes = new ArrayList<String>();
-        jokes.add( "C O N T A I N E D" );
-        jokes.add( "Containing containers containingly." );
-        jokes.add( "Containers carry a vast amount of stuff." );
-        jokes.add( "H Y B R I D  C L O U D" );
-        jokes.add( "\"Linux is Containers and Containers is RHEL\"" );
-        jokes.add( "It can contain anything, even monster apps!" );
-        jokes.add( "I sell Container and Container accessories" );
-        jokes.add( "Do U Even Small VM brah?" );
-        jokes.add( "Y SO CONTAINED?" );
-        jokes.add( "Containers give me lyfe." );
-        jokes.add( "Containers pay the bills." );
-        jokes.add( "My name is yzhang and I'm a containerholic." );
-        jokes.add( "\"Containers\"" );
-        jokes.add( "Keep your containers to yourself!" );
-        jokes.add( "*insert bad container joke here*" );
-        jokes.add( "AM I BEING CONTAINED?" );
-        jokes.add( "friggin' containers, how do they work?" );
-        jokes.add( "I put the \"I\" in contaIners" );
-        jokes.add( "DON'T CONTAZE ME" );
-        jokes.add( "Every day we stray farther from gods light." );
-        jokes.add( "Please, contain yourself." );
-        jokes.add( "PRESS Z TO DO A CONTAINER ROLL" );
-        jokes.add( "STOP. CONTAINER TIME" );
-        jokes.add( "Dat feel when you can only contain monster apps and not your feelings" );
-        jokes.add( "- Refer to the Container Coloring Book" );
-
-        return jokes;
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Kaomoji.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Kaomoji.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e3995503..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Kaomoji.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,117 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import twitter4j.JSONObject;
-
-import java.io.FileNotFoundException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by ltulloch on 07/24/18.
- */
-public class Kaomoji
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final String API_URL = "https://jckcthbrt.stdlib.com/kaomoji/?search=";
-
-    private static final String API_FORMAT = "/json";
-
-    private static final Pattern kaomojiPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!kaomoji (.+)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Matcher questionMatcher = kaomojiPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        if ( questionMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String message = questionMatcher.group( 1 );
-            try
-            {
-                message = kaomojiify( message );
-                event.respondWith( message );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)" );
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String kaomojiify( String message )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String[] words = splitWords( message );
-        String kaomoji = "";
-        if ( words.length <= 0 )
-        {
-            return "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)";
-        }
-        switch ( words[0] )
-        {
-            case "wat":
-                words[0] = "confused";
-                break;
-            case "nsfw":
-            case "wtf":
-                kaomoji = "ⓃⒶⓃⒾ(☉൧ ಠ ꐦ)";
-                break;
-            case "vilebot":
-                kaomoji = "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )";
-                break;
-            default:
-                kaomoji = getKaomoji( words[0] );
-                break;
-        }
-
-        if ( kaomoji.isEmpty() )
-        {
-            kaomoji = "щ(ಥдಥщ)";
-        }
-        return kaomoji;
-    }
-
-    private String[] splitWords( String message )
-    {
-        return message.split( "\\b" );
-    }
-
-    private String getKaomoji( String word )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String emoji = "";
-        JSONObject json = new JSONObject( getContent( word ) );
-        if ( json.has( "success" ) )
-        {
-            emoji = json.getString( "emoji" );
-        }
-        return emoji;
-    }
-
-    private String getContent( String word )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String content;
-        URLConnection connection;
-        connection = new URL( API_URL + word ).openConnection();
-        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
-        try
-        {
-            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-            content = scanner.next();
-            return content;
-        }
-        catch ( FileNotFoundException e )
-        {
-            return "{}";
-        }
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Karma.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Karma.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e0096f29..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Karma.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,425 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.ChurchDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Ignore;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Sessions;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.PrivateMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.output.OutputIRC;
-
-import java.util.HashSet;
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Karma
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nounPattern = Pattern.compile( "\\S+" );
-
-    private static final Pattern nickBlobPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(" + nounPattern + "?)(?:, +| +|$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern incBlobPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(" + nounPattern + "?\\+\\+)(?:, +| +|$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern decBlobPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(" + nounPattern + "?--)(?:, +| +|$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern incOrDecBlobPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(" + nounPattern + "?\\+-)(?:, +| +|$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern incrementPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:^|^.*\\s+)(" + incBlobPattern + "+)(?:.*|$)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern decrementPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:^|^.*\\s+)(" + decBlobPattern + "+)(?:.*|$)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern incOrDecPattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "(?:^|^.*\\s+)(" + incOrDecBlobPattern + "+)(?:.*|$)" );
-    // The opening (?:^|^.*\\s+) and closing (?:.*|$) are needed when only part of the message is ++ or -- events
-
-    private static final Pattern selfKarmaQueryPattern = Pattern.compile( "^\\s*!(rev|)rank\\s*$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern karmaQueryPattern = Pattern.compile( "!(rev|)rank (" + nickBlobPattern + "+)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern ranknPattern = Pattern.compile( "!(rev|)rankn ([0-9]+)\\s*" );
-
-    private static final Pattern topBottomThreePattern = Pattern.compile( "!(top|bottom)three\\s*" );
-
-    private static final Pattern removePattern = Pattern.compile( "!admin unrank (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*" );
-
-    private static final Pattern totalPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!total" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onJoin( JoinEvent event ) // announce karma on join
-    {
-        String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() );
-        OutputIRC outputQ = event.getBot().send();
-        String replyTarget = event.getChannel().getName();
-        if ( !Ignore.getOnJoin().contains( noun ) )
-            replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, false, false, true );
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        OutputIRC outputQ = event.getBot().send();
-        String replyTarget;
-        if ( event instanceof PrivateMessageEvent )
-            replyTarget = event.getUser().getNick();
-        else if ( event instanceof MessageEvent )
-            replyTarget = ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName();
-        else
-            return;
-
-        Matcher incMatcher = incrementPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher decMatcher = decrementPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher incOrDecMatcher = incOrDecPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher specificMatcher = karmaQueryPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher selfMatcher = selfKarmaQueryPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher rankNumberMatcher = ranknPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher totalKarmaMatcher = totalPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher topBottomThreeMatcher = topBottomThreePattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher unrankMatcher = removePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( incMatcher.matches() )
-            karmaInc( event, incMatcher );
-        if ( decMatcher.matches() )
-            karmaDec( event, decMatcher );
-        if ( incOrDecMatcher.matches() )
-            karmaIncOrDec( event, incOrDecMatcher );
-        if ( specificMatcher.matches() )
-            specificKarmaQuery( event, outputQ, replyTarget, specificMatcher );
-        if ( selfMatcher.matches() )
-            selfKarmaQuery( event, outputQ, replyTarget, selfMatcher );
-        if ( rankNumberMatcher.matches() )
-            rankNumber( event, outputQ, replyTarget, rankNumberMatcher );
-        if ( totalKarmaMatcher.matches() )
-            totalKarma( event );
-        if ( topBottomThreeMatcher.matches() )
-            topBottomThree( event, outputQ, replyTarget, topBottomThreeMatcher );
-        if ( unrankMatcher.matches() )
-            unrank( event, outputQ, replyTarget, unrankMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void karmaInc( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher incMatcher )
-    {
-        if ( isPrivate( event ) )
-        {
-            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick(), -1 );
-            return;
-        }
-        // Prevent users from increasing karma outside of #TheFoobar
-        if ( !( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be in " + Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" )
-                + " to give or receive karma." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // If one match is found, take the entire text of the message (group(0)) and check each word
-        // This is needed in the case that only part of the message is karma events (ie "wow anestico++")
-        String wordBlob = incMatcher.group( 0 );
-        String sender = BaseNick.toBaseNick( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() );
-
-        Set<String> nicks = new HashSet<>();
-        Matcher nickMatcher = incBlobPattern.matcher( wordBlob );
-        while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            nicks.add( BaseNick.toBaseNick( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) ) );
-        }
-
-        boolean insult = false;
-
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            if ( !nick.equals( sender ) )
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( nick, 1 );
-            else
-                insult = true;
-        }
-
-        if ( insult )
-            // TODO insult generator?
-            event.respondWith( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
-    }
-
-    private void karmaDec( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher decMatcher )
-    {
-        if ( isPrivate( event ) )
-        {
-            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick(), -1 );
-            return;
-        }
-        // Prevent users from decreasing karma outside of #TheFoobar
-        if ( !( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be in " + Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" )
-                + " to give or receive karma." );
-            return;
-        }
-        // If one match is found, take the entire text of the message (group(0)) and check each word
-        String wordBlob = decMatcher.group( 0 );
-
-        List<String> nicks = new LinkedList<>();
-        Matcher nickMatcher = decBlobPattern.matcher( wordBlob );
-        while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            nicks.add( BaseNick.toBaseNick( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) ) );
-        }
-
-        boolean insult = false;
-        String botNick = event.getBot().getNick();
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            if ( !nick.equals( botNick ) )
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( nick, -1 );
-            else
-                insult = true;
-        }
-
-        if ( insult )
-            // TODO insult generator?
-            event.respondWith( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
-    }
-
-    private void karmaIncOrDec( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher incOrDecMatcher )
-    {
-        if ( isPrivate( event ) )
-        {
-            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick(), -1 );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // Prevent users from increasing karma outside of #TheFoobar
-        if ( !( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be in " + Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" )
-                + " to give or receive karma." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // If one match is found, take the entire text of the message (group(0)) and check each word
-        // This is needed in the case that only part of the message is karma events (ie "wow anestico++")
-        String wordBlob = incOrDecMatcher.group( 0 );
-        String sender = BaseNick.toBaseNick( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() );
-
-        Set<String> nicks = new HashSet<>();
-        Matcher nickMatcher = incOrDecBlobPattern.matcher( wordBlob );
-        while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            nicks.add( BaseNick.toBaseNick( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) ) );
-        }
-
-        boolean insult = false;
-
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            if ( !nick.equals( sender ) )
-                decideIncOrDec( event, nick );
-            else
-                insult = true;
-        }
-
-        if ( insult )
-            // TODO insult generator?
-            event.respondWith( "I think I'm supposed to insult you now." );
-    }
-
-    private void decideIncOrDec( GenericMessageEvent event, String nick )
-    {
-        int karma = 0;
-        Random rand = new Random();
-        while ( karma == 0 )
-        {
-            karma = rand.nextInt( 3 ) - 1;
-        }
-        String reply = nick + " had their karma ";
-        reply += karma == 1 ? "increased" : "decreased";
-        reply += " by 1";
-        event.respondWith( reply );
-        KarmaDB.modNounKarma( nick, karma );
-    }
-
-    private boolean isPrivate( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return event instanceof PrivateMessageEvent;
-    }
-
-    private void specificKarmaQuery( GenericMessageEvent event, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                                     Matcher specificMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = specificMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String nickBlob = specificMatcher.group( 2 );
-
-        List<String> nicks = new LinkedList<>();
-        Matcher nickMatcher = nickBlobPattern.matcher( nickBlob );
-        while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            nicks.add( BaseNick.toBaseNick( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) ) );
-        }
-
-        boolean reverse = "rev".equals( mode );
-
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            if ( !replyWithRankAndKarma( nick, outputQ, replyTarget, reverse ) )
-                event.respondWith( nick + " has no karma." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void selfKarmaQuery( GenericMessageEvent event, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget, Matcher selfMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = selfMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-
-        boolean reverse = "rev".equals( mode );
-        if ( !replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, reverse ) )
-            event.respondWith( noun + " has no karma." );
-    }
-
-    private void rankNumber( GenericMessageEvent event, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                             Matcher rankNumberMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = rankNumberMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String place = rankNumberMatcher.group( 2 );
-
-        boolean reverse = "rev".equals( mode );
-
-        String noun;
-        if ( reverse )
-            noun = KarmaDB.getRevRankNoun( Long.parseLong( place ) );
-        else
-            noun = KarmaDB.getRankNoun( Long.parseLong( place ) );
-
-        if ( noun != null )
-            replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, reverse );
-        else
-            event.respondWith( "No noun at that rank." );
-    }
-
-    private void totalKarma( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        event.respondWith( "" + KarmaDB.getTotalKarma() );
-    }
-
-    private void topBottomThree( GenericMessageEvent event, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                                 Matcher topBottomThreeMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = topBottomThreeMatcher.group( 1 );
-
-        Set<String> nouns = null;
-        if ( "top".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            nouns = KarmaDB.getRankNouns( 0, 2 );
-        }
-        else if ( "bottom".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            nouns = KarmaDB.getRevRankNouns( 0, 2 );
-        }
-
-        if ( nouns != null && nouns.size() > 0 )
-        {
-            for ( String noun : nouns )
-            {
-                replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, false, true );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No nouns at ranks 1 to 3." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void unrank( GenericMessageEvent event, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget, Matcher unrankMatcher )
-    {
-        // Admin-only command: remove all of a user's karma.
-        // Matcher matcher = removePattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-        String username = Sessions.getSession( event.getUser().getNick() );
-
-        if ( GroupDB.isAdmin( username ) )
-        {
-            String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( unrankMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-
-            if ( replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Removing " + noun + "." );
-                KarmaDB.remNoun( noun );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( noun + " isn't ranked." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static boolean replyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget )
-    {
-        return replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, false );
-    }
-
-    private static boolean replyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                                                  boolean reverseOrder )
-    {
-        return replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, reverseOrder, false );
-    }
-
-    private static boolean replyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                                                  boolean reverseOrder, boolean obfuscateNick )
-    {
-        return replyWithRankAndKarma( noun, outputQ, replyTarget, reverseOrder, obfuscateNick, false );
-    }
-
-    private static boolean replyWithRankAndKarma( String noun, OutputIRC outputQ, String replyTarget,
-                                                  boolean reverseOrder, boolean obfuscateNick, boolean useTitle )
-    {
-        Integer nounRank;
-        if ( reverseOrder )
-            nounRank = KarmaDB.getNounRevRank( noun );
-        else
-            nounRank = KarmaDB.getNounRank( noun );
-
-        Integer nounKarma = KarmaDB.getNounKarma( noun );
-
-        if ( useTitle && ChurchDB.isTopDonor( noun ) )
-        {
-            String title = ChurchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
-            if ( title.trim().length() > 0 )
-            {
-                noun = title;
-            }
-        }
-
-        if ( nounKarma != null )
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-            sb.append( noun );
-            if ( obfuscateNick )
-                sb.reverse();
-
-            sb.append( " is " );
-            sb.append( "ranked at " );
-
-            if ( reverseOrder )
-                sb.append( "(reverse) " );
-
-            sb.append( "#" );
-            sb.append( nounRank );
-            sb.append( " with " );
-            sb.append( nounKarma );
-            sb.append( " points of karma." );
-
-            outputQ.message( replyTarget, sb.toString() );
-            return true;
-        }
-        return false;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaRoll.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaRoll.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 7648e1c9..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaRoll.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,318 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import java.security.SecureRandom;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-public class KarmaRoll
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern rollPattern = Pattern.compile( "!roll(?: for|)(?: +([0-9]+)|)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern cancelPattern = Pattern.compile( "!roll ?cancel" );
-
-    private static final int UPPER_WAGER = 10;
-
-    private RollGame currentGame;
-
-    private final Object currentGameMutex = new Object();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher rollMatcher = rollPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher cancelMatcher = cancelPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( rollMatcher.matches() )
-            userHelp( event, rollMatcher );
-        if ( cancelMatcher.matches() )
-            manualCancel( event );
-    }
-
-    // @Handler
-    private void userHelp( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher rollMatcher )
-    {
-        String sender = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-
-        // Infers ircChannel1 in JSON is #thefoobar for production Vilebot
-        if ( !( event instanceof MessageEvent )
-            || !( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be in " + Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" )
-                + " to make or accept wagers." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        String rawWager = rollMatcher.group( 1 );
-
-        synchronized ( currentGameMutex )
-        {
-            if ( currentGame == null )
-            {
-                // No existing game
-
-                if ( rawWager == null )
-                {
-                    // No game exists, but the user has not given a karma wager, so default to 10
-                    rawWager = "10";
-                }
-
-                // Check the wager value is in the acceptable range.
-                int wager = Integer.parseInt( rawWager );
-                Integer senderKarma = KarmaDB.getNounKarma( sender );
-                senderKarma = senderKarma == null ? 0 : senderKarma;
-
-                if ( !validWager( wager, senderKarma ) )
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( wager
-                        + " isn't a valid wager. Must be greater than 0. If your wager is larger than " + UPPER_WAGER
-                        + " you must have at least as much karma as your wager." );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    // Acceptable wager, start new game
-
-                    currentGame = new RollGame( sender, wager );
-                    event.respondWith( sender + " has rolled with " + wager + " karma points on the line.  Who's up?" );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                // A game exists
-
-                if ( rawWager != null )
-                {
-                    // A game exists, but the user has given a karma wager, probably an error.
-
-                    String str = "A game is already active; started by " + currentGame.getFirstPlayerNick() + " for "
-                        + currentGame.getWager() + " karma. Use !roll to accept.";
-                    event.respondWith( str );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    // A game exists, and no karma value was given. User is accepting the active wager/game.
-
-                    // The user that started a game cannot accept it
-                    if ( currentGame.getFirstPlayerNick().equals( sender ) )
-                    {
-                        event.respondWith( "You can't accept your own wager." );
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        GameResults result = currentGame.setSecondPlayer( sender );
-
-                        String firstPlayer = currentGame.getFirstPlayerNick();
-                        int firstRoll = result.getFirstPlayerRoll();
-                        String secondPlayer = currentGame.getSecondPlayerNick();
-                        int secondRoll = result.getSecondPlayerRoll();
-
-                        String winner = result.getWinnerNick();
-                        String loser = result.getLoserNick();
-                        int deltaKarma = currentGame.getWager();
-
-                        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-                        sb.append( "Results: " );
-                        sb.append( firstPlayer );
-                        sb.append( " rolled " );
-                        sb.append( firstRoll );
-                        sb.append( ", and " );
-                        sb.append( secondPlayer );
-                        sb.append( " rolled " );
-                        sb.append( secondRoll );
-                        sb.append( ". " );
-
-                        if ( winner != null && loser != null )
-                        {
-                            sb.append( winner );
-                            sb.append( " takes " );
-                            sb.append( deltaKarma );
-                            sb.append( " from " );
-                            sb.append( loser );
-                            sb.append( "!!!" );
-
-                            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( winner, deltaKarma );
-                            KarmaDB.modNounKarma( loser, -1 * deltaKarma );
-                        }
-                        else
-                        {
-                            sb.append( "A tie!" );
-                        }
-
-                        event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-
-                        // Reset
-                        currentGame = null;
-
-                        event.respondWith( "Play again?" );
-                    }
-                }
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * A valid wager is one that meets the following standards: 1. Is greater than 0. 2. If it is greater than 10, then
-     * the user's karma is equal to or greater than the wager. The reasoning behind this is to have some base amount of
-     * karma that user's can bet with, but also provide a way of betting large amounts of karma. To avoid destroying the
-     * karma economy users cannot bet more than their current amount of karma.
-     * 
-     * @param wager the amount wagered
-     * @param senderKarma the wagerer's karma
-     */
-    private boolean validWager( int wager, int senderKarma )
-    {
-        return !( wager > 10 ) && ( wager > 0 ) || ( wager > 10 ) && ( senderKarma >= wager );
-    }
-
-    private void manualCancel( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( !currentGame.getFirstPlayerNick().equals( BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Only " + currentGame.getFirstPlayerNick() + " may cancel this game." );
-            return;
-        }
-        synchronized ( currentGameMutex )
-        {
-            currentGame = null;
-        }
-        event.respondWith( "Roll game cancelled." );
-    }
-
-    private static class RollGame
-    {
-        private final int wager;
-
-        private String firstPlayer;
-
-        private String secondPlayer;
-
-        RollGame( String firstPlayerNick, int wager )
-        {
-            if ( firstPlayerNick == null )
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "firstPlayerNick can't be null" );
-
-            this.firstPlayer = firstPlayerNick;
-            this.wager = wager;
-        }
-
-        GameResults setSecondPlayer( String secondPlayerNick )
-        {
-            if ( secondPlayerNick == null )
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "secondPlayerNick can't be null" );
-
-            if ( secondPlayer == null )
-                secondPlayer = secondPlayerNick;
-            else
-                throw new StateViolation( "Can't set the second player twice" );
-
-            return new GameResults( firstPlayer, secondPlayer );
-        }
-
-        String getFirstPlayerNick()
-        {
-            return firstPlayer;
-        }
-
-        String getSecondPlayerNick()
-        {
-            return secondPlayer;
-        }
-
-        int getWager()
-        {
-            return wager;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static class GameResults
-    {
-        private static final int SIDES_OF_DIE = 6;
-
-        private static final Random random = new SecureRandom();
-
-        private final String firstPlayer;
-
-        private final String secondPlayer;
-
-        private Integer firstPlayerRoll = null;
-
-        private Integer secondPlayerRoll = null;
-
-        GameResults( String firstPlayer, String secondPlayer )
-        {
-            this.firstPlayer = firstPlayer;
-            this.secondPlayer = secondPlayer;
-
-            doRolls();
-        }
-
-        /**
-         * @return The nick of the winning player, or null on a tie
-         */
-        String getWinnerNick()
-        {
-            if ( firstPlayerRoll > secondPlayerRoll )
-                return firstPlayer;
-            else if ( secondPlayerRoll > firstPlayerRoll )
-                return secondPlayer;
-            else
-                return null; // Tied
-        }
-
-        /**
-         * @return The nick of the losing player, or null on a tie
-         */
-        String getLoserNick()
-        {
-            if ( firstPlayerRoll < secondPlayerRoll )
-                return firstPlayer;
-            else if ( secondPlayerRoll < firstPlayerRoll )
-                return secondPlayer;
-            else
-                return null; // Tied
-        }
-
-        /**
-         * @return The value of the dice roll the first player got
-         */
-        int getFirstPlayerRoll()
-        {
-            return firstPlayerRoll;
-        }
-
-        /**
-         * @return The value of the dice roll the second player got
-         */
-        int getSecondPlayerRoll()
-        {
-            return secondPlayerRoll;
-        }
-
-        private void doRolls()
-        {
-            firstPlayerRoll = random.nextInt( SIDES_OF_DIE ) + 1;
-            secondPlayerRoll = random.nextInt( SIDES_OF_DIE ) + 1;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static class StateViolation
-        extends RuntimeException
-    {
-        private static final long serialVersionUID = -7530159745349382310L;
-
-        StateViolation( String message )
-        {
-            super( message );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaTransfer.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaTransfer.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 8b14ca51..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/KarmaTransfer.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,288 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2020 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
-import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class KarmaTransfer
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern transferPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!transfer\\s+(\\S+)\\s+([0-9]+)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern cancelTransferPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!transfercancel" );
-
-    private static final Pattern acceptTransferPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!accept" );
-
-    private static final Pattern rejectTransferPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!reject" );
-
-    private KarmaTransaction currentTransaction;
-
-    private final Object currentTransferMutex = new Object();
-
-    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
-
-    private static final long TIMEOUT = 30000L;
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher transferMatcher = transferPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher cancelTransferMatcher = cancelTransferPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher acceptTransferMatcher = acceptTransferPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher rejectTransferMatcher = rejectTransferPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( transferMatcher.matches() )
-            transferKarma( event, transferMatcher );
-        if ( cancelTransferMatcher.matches() )
-            cancelTransfer( event );
-        if ( acceptTransferMatcher.matches() )
-            acceptTransfer( event );
-        if ( rejectTransferMatcher.matches() )
-            rejectTransfer( event );
-    }
-
-    private void transferKarma( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher transferMatcher )
-    {
-        // Prevent users from transferring karma outside of #thefoobar
-        if ( !( event instanceof MessageEvent )
-            || !( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "You must be in " + Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) + " to transfer karma." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        synchronized ( currentTransferMutex )
-        {
-            // No existing transfer
-            if ( currentTransaction == null )
-            {
-                // Check if sender is the same as the receiver
-                String sender = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-                String receiver = BaseNick.toBaseNick( transferMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-
-                if ( sender.equals( receiver ) )
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( "Really? What's the point of transferring karma to yourself?" );
-                    return;
-                }
-
-                // Check if transfer amount is valid
-                int transferAmount = Integer.parseInt( transferMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-                Integer senderKarma = KarmaDB.getNounKarma( sender );
-                senderKarma = senderKarma == null ? 0 : senderKarma;
-
-                if ( !validAmount( transferAmount, senderKarma ) )
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( transferAmount + " isn't a valid amount."
-                        + " Transfer amount must be greater than 0, and you must have at least as much karma"
-                        + " as the amount you want to transfer." );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    // Valid amount, start transaction
-                    startTransaction( event, sender, receiver, transferAmount );
-                }
-            }
-            // A transfer is active
-            else
-            {
-                String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
-                String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
-                int amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
-
-                event.respondWith( "A transfer is already active. " + sender + " wants to transfer " + amount
-                    + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver + ", please !accept or !reject this transfer."
-                    + " You have 30 seconds to respond." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean validAmount( int transferAmount, int senderKarma )
-    {
-        return ( transferAmount > 0 ) && ( senderKarma >= transferAmount );
-    }
-
-    private void startTransaction( GenericMessageEvent event, String sender, String receiver, int transferAmount )
-    {
-        currentTransaction = new KarmaTransaction( sender, receiver, transferAmount );
-        event.respondWith( sender + " wants to transfer " + transferAmount + " karma to " + receiver + ". " + receiver
-            + ", please !accept or !reject the transfer. You have 30 seconds to respond." );
-
-        startTimer( event );
-    }
-
-    private void startTimer( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        timer.submit( () -> {
-            try
-            {
-                Thread.sleep( TIMEOUT );
-                timeoutTimer( event );
-            }
-            catch ( InterruptedException e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        } );
-    }
-
-    private void timeoutTimer( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        event.respondWith( "Transfer failed. No response was received within 30 seconds." );
-
-        synchronized ( currentTransferMutex )
-        {
-            currentTransaction = null;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void stopTimer()
-    {
-        timer.shutdownNow();
-        timer = Executors.newFixedThreadPool( 1 );
-    }
-
-    private void cancelTransfer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
-            return;
-
-        String user = BaseNick.toBaseNick( ( event.getUser().getNick() ) );
-        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
-
-        if ( !sender.equals( user ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Only " + sender + " may cancel this transfer." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // Cancel transfer
-        stopTimer();
-        synchronized ( currentTransferMutex )
-        {
-            currentTransaction = null;
-        }
-
-        event.respondWith( user + " has cancelled this transfer." );
-    }
-
-    private void acceptTransfer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
-            return;
-
-        String user = BaseNick.toBaseNick( ( event.getUser().getNick() ) );
-        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
-        String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
-        int amount = currentTransaction.getTransferAmount();
-
-        if ( !receiver.equals( user ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Only " + receiver + " may accept this transfer." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // Accept transfer
-        stopTimer();
-
-        KarmaDB.modNounKarma( receiver, amount );
-        KarmaDB.modNounKarma( sender, -1 * amount );
-
-        event.respondWith( "Transfer success! " + sender + " has transferred " + amount + " karma to " + receiver
-            + "!" );
-
-        // Reset
-        synchronized ( currentTransferMutex )
-        {
-            currentTransaction = null;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void rejectTransfer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( !reportHasCurrentTransaction( event ) )
-            return;
-
-        String user = BaseNick.toBaseNick( ( event.getUser().getNick() ) );
-        String sender = currentTransaction.getSender();
-        String receiver = currentTransaction.getReceiver();
-
-        if ( !receiver.equals( user ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Only " + receiver + " may reject this transfer." );
-            return;
-        }
-
-        // Reject transfer
-        stopTimer();
-        synchronized ( currentTransferMutex )
-        {
-            currentTransaction = null;
-        }
-
-        event.respondWith( user + " has rejected " + sender + "'s transfer." );
-    }
-
-    private boolean reportHasCurrentTransaction( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( currentTransaction == null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active transfer. To transfer karma enter '!transfer <noun> <karma amount>'." );
-            return false;
-        }
-        return true;
-    }
-
-    private static class KarmaTransaction
-    {
-        private String sender;
-
-        private String receiver;
-
-        private final int transferAmount;
-
-        KarmaTransaction( String senderNick, String receiverNick, int transferAmount )
-        {
-            if ( senderNick == null )
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "senderNick can't be null" );
-            if ( receiverNick == null )
-                throw new IllegalArgumentException( "receiverNick can't be null" );
-
-            this.sender = senderNick;
-            this.receiver = receiverNick;
-            this.transferAmount = transferAmount;
-        }
-
-        String getSender()
-        {
-            return sender;
-        }
-
-        String getReceiver()
-        {
-            return receiver;
-        }
-
-        int getTransferAmount()
-        {
-            return transferAmount;
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastMessageSed.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastMessageSed.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 6d6c7413..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastMessageSed.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,104 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Colors;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class LastMessageSed
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    /**
-     * Map with String key of IRC nick, to String value of the last line of text.
-     */
-    private final Map<String, String> lastMessageMapByNick = new HashMap<>();
-
-    /**
-     * Syncronise access to lastMessageMapByNick on this.
-     */
-    private final Object lastMessageMapByNickMutex = new Object();
-
-    /**
-     * Matches a standard sed-like replace pattern (ex: s/foo/bar/), the forward slash divisor can be replaced with any
-     * punctuation character. The given separator character cannot be used elsewhere. Optionally, following the last
-     * slash, a user can write another user's name in order to modify that user's message.
-     */
-    private static final Pattern replacePattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "^s(\\p{Punct})((?!\\1).+?)\\1((?!\\1).+?)(?:\\1(g|)(?:\\s+(\\S+)\\s*|)|)$" );
-
-    /**
-     * Say the last thing the person said, replaced as specified. Otherwise just record the line as the last thing the
-     * person said.
-     */
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher sedMatcher = replacePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        String nick = event.getUser().getNick();
-
-        if ( sedMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String correction = "Correction: ";
-
-            // If the last group of the regex captures a non-null string, the user is fixing another user's message.
-            if ( sedMatcher.group( 5 ) != null )
-            {
-                nick = sedMatcher.group( 5 );
-                correction = nick + ", ftfy: ";
-            }
-
-            if ( lastMessageMapByNick.containsKey( nick ) )
-            {
-                String regexp = sedMatcher.group( 2 );
-                String replacement = sedMatcher.group( 3 );
-                String endFlag = sedMatcher.group( 4 );
-
-                synchronized ( lastMessageMapByNickMutex )
-                {
-                    String lastMessage = lastMessageMapByNick.get( nick );
-
-                    if ( !lastMessage.contains( regexp ) )
-                    {
-                        event.respondWith( "Wow. Seriously? Try subbing out a string that actually occurred. Do you even sed, bro?" );
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        String replacedMsg;
-                        String replacedMsgWHL;
-
-                        String replacementWHL = Colors.bold( replacement );
-
-                        // TODO: Probably can be simplified via method reference in Java 8
-                        if ( "g".equals( endFlag ) )
-                        {
-                            replacedMsg = lastMessage.replaceAll( regexp, replacement );
-                            replacedMsgWHL = lastMessage.replaceAll( regexp, replacementWHL );
-                        }
-                        else
-                        {
-                            replacedMsg = lastMessage.replaceFirst( regexp, replacement );
-                            replacedMsgWHL = lastMessage.replaceFirst( regexp, replacementWHL );
-                        }
-
-                        event.respondWith( correction + replacedMsgWHL );
-                        lastMessageMapByNick.put( nick, replacedMsg );
-                    }
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            synchronized ( lastMessageMapByNickMutex )
-            {
-                lastMessageMapByNick.put( nick, text );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastSeen.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastSeen.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 5c84c200..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/LastSeen.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,70 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.LastSeenDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Ignore;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.output.OutputIRC;
-
-import java.text.DateFormat;
-import java.text.SimpleDateFormat;
-import java.util.Date;
-import java.util.TimeZone;
-import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
-
-public class LastSeen
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static TimeZone timeZone = TimeZone.getTimeZone( "America/Toronto" );
-
-    private static DateFormat dateFormat = makeDateFormat();
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String userNick = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        String botNick = event.getBot().getNick();
-
-        if ( !botNick.equals( userNick ) )
-        {
-            LastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime( userNick );
-        }
-
-        if ( event instanceof JoinEvent && !botNick.equals( userNick ) && !Ignore.getOnJoin().contains( userNick ) )
-        {
-            longTimeNoSee( (JoinEvent) event, userNick );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void longTimeNoSee( JoinEvent event, String joiner )
-    {
-        OutputIRC outputQ = event.getBot().send();
-        String replyTarget = event.getChannel().getName();
-
-        long lastSeen = LastSeenDB.getLastSeenTime( joiner );
-        long now = System.currentTimeMillis();
-        long timeAgo = now - lastSeen;
-
-        long daysAgo = TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS.toDays( timeAgo );
-
-        if ( daysAgo > 30 )
-        {
-
-            String str = "Hi " + joiner + "! I last saw you " + daysAgo + " days ago at "
-                + dateFormat.format( new Date( lastSeen ) ) + ". Long time, no see.";
-            outputQ.message( replyTarget, str );
-        }
-
-        LastSeenDB.updateLastSeenTime( joiner );
-    }
-
-    private static DateFormat makeDateFormat()
-    {
-        SimpleDateFormat df = new SimpleDateFormat( "yyyy-MM-dd'T'HH:mmX" );
-        df.setTimeZone( timeZone );
-        return df;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Markov.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Markov.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 6c396bc9..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Markov.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,124 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.LogDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Zalgo;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by emmett on 12/08/15.
- */
-
-public class Markov
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private Map<String, List<String>> markovMap = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private static final Pattern cmd = Pattern.compile( "^!speak$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern gospelPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!gospel$" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        boolean markovMap = cmd.matcher( text ).matches();
-        boolean isGospel = gospelPattern.matcher( text ).matches();
-
-        if ( markovMap || isGospel )
-        {
-            train();
-            String phrase = generatePhrase();
-            phrase = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, phrase );
-            if ( isGospel )
-            {
-                phrase = Zalgo.generate( phrase );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( phrase );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void train()
-    {
-        String data = LogDB.getLog();
-        fillMarkovMap( data );
-    }
-
-    private void fillMarkovMap( String data )
-    {
-        String[] words = data.split( "\\s+" );
-
-        for ( int i = 0; i < words.length - 3; i++ )
-        {
-            String key = words[i] + " " + words[i + 1];
-            String value = words[i + 2] + " " + words[i + 3];
-
-            if ( key.equals( value ) )
-            {
-                continue;
-            }
-            else if ( markovMap.get( key ) != null )
-            {
-                markovMap.get( key ).add( value );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                List<String> valueList = new ArrayList<>();
-                valueList.add( value );
-                markovMap.put( key, valueList );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String generatePhrase()
-    {
-        Random random = new Random();
-        String key = getRandomKey( random );
-        StringBuilder phrase = new StringBuilder();
-
-        while ( key != null && phrase.length() < 1000 )
-        {
-            phrase.append( key ).append( " " );
-            if ( shouldEnd( key ) )
-            {
-                break;
-            }
-            key = nextKey( key, random );
-        }
-
-        return phrase.toString().replace( "\n", " " );
-    }
-
-    private String nextKey( String key, Random random )
-    {
-        List<String> valueList = markovMap.get( key );
-        if ( valueList == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-
-        return valueList.get( random.nextInt( valueList.size() ) );
-    }
-
-    private String getRandomKey( Random random )
-    {
-        Object[] values = markovMap.keySet().toArray();
-        return (String) values[random.nextInt( values.length )];
-    }
-
-    private boolean shouldEnd( String key )
-    {
-        return ( key.endsWith( "!" ) || key.endsWith( "?" ) || key.endsWith( "." ) );
-    }
-
-}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/News.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/News.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 5ab4b73e..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/News.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,234 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2019 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.NewsParser;
-import org.apache.commons.lang3.tuple.ImmutablePair;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-
-import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class News
-    extends NewsParser
-{
-    private static final Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( News.class );
-
-    private static final String DEFAULT_CATEGORY = "toronto";
-
-    private static final LinkedHashMap<String, ImmutablePair<String, URL>> newsFeedsByCategory = new LinkedHashMap<>();
-    static
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "top",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "General",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/topstories.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "world",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "General",
-                                                          new URL( "https://news.google.com/news/rss/headlines/section/topic/WORLD?ned=us&hl=en" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "canada",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "General",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "usa",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "General",
-                                                          new URL( "http://feeds.reuters.com/Reuters/domesticNews" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "britain",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "General",
-                                                          new URL( "http://feeds.bbci.co.uk/news/uk/rss.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "redhat",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Open Source",
-                                                          new URL( "https://www.redhat.com/en/rss/blog/channel/red-hat-news" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "fedora", new ImmutablePair<>( "Open Source",
-                                                                    new URL( "http://fedoraplanet.org/rss20.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "openshift",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Open Source",
-                                                          new URL( "https://blog.openshift.com/category/news/rss" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "opensource",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Open Source", new URL( "https://opensource.com/feed" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "politics",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/politics.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "business",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/business.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "health",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/health.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "arts",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics", new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/arts.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "tech",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/technology.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "offbeat",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/offbeat.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "indigenous",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Topics",
-                                                          new URL( "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-cbcaboriginal" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sports",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "mlb",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-mlb.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nba",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nba.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "cfl",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-cfl.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nfl",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nfl.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "nhl",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-nhl.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "soccer",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-soccer.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "curling",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-curling.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "skating",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Sports",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/sports-figureskating.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "bc",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-britishcolumbia.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "kamloops",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kamloops.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "calgary",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-calgary.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "edmonton",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-edmonton.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatchewan",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatchewan.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "saskatoon",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-saskatoon.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "manitoba",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-manitoba.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "thunderbay",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-thunderbay.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "sudbury",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-sudbury.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "windsor",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-windsor.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "london",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://www.cbc.ca/cmlink/rss-canada-london" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "waterloo",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-kitchenerwaterloo.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "toronto",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-toronto.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "hamilton",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-hamiltonnews.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "montreal",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-montreal.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newbrunswick",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newbrunswick.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "pei",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-pei.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "novascotia",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-novascotia.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "newfoundland",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-newfoundland.xml" ) ) );
-            newsFeedsByCategory.put( "north",
-                                     new ImmutablePair<>( "Regional",
-                                                          new URL( "https://rss.cbc.ca/lineup/canada-north.xml" ) ) );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( "Error loading news URLs" );
-            throw new RuntimeException( e );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static final Pattern NEWS_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!news(?: ([a-zA-Z]+)|)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern NEWS_HELP_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!news help" );
-
-    private final String HELP_MESSAGE = generateHelpMessage();
-
-    private final String HELP_COMMAND = "'!news help'";
-
-    public static LimitCommand limitCommand = new LimitCommand();
-
-    private static final String RESTRICTED_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = NEWS_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        Matcher helpMatcher = NEWS_HELP_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( helpMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            for ( String line : HELP_MESSAGE.split( "\n" ) )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( line );
-            }
-        }
-        else if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            currentNews( event, matcher, newsFeedsByCategory, DEFAULT_CATEGORY, HELP_COMMAND, limitCommand,
-                         RESTRICTED_CHANNEL, logger );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    protected String generateHelpMessage()
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        sb.append( "News Categories (example: !news toronto):" );
-
-        String prevGenre = null;
-
-        for ( String category : newsFeedsByCategory.keySet() )
-        {
-            String currentGenre = newsFeedsByCategory.get( category ).getLeft();
-
-            if ( !currentGenre.equals( prevGenre ) )
-            {
-                sb.append( "\n" );
-                sb.append( "  " + currentGenre + ":" );
-                prevGenre = currentGenre;
-            }
-
-            sb.append( " { " + category + " }" );
-        }
-
-        return sb.toString();
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Omgword.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Omgword.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 51a4b96e..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Omgword.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,225 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import java.nio.charset.Charset;
-import java.nio.file.Files;
-import java.nio.file.Paths;
-import java.security.SecureRandom;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.Arrays;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
-import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Based off of the omgword game from CasinoBot: http://casinobot.codeplex.com/
- */
-public class Omgword
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern QUESTION_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "!omgword" );
-
-    private static final Pattern ANSWER_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "!answer (.*)" );
-
-    private static final String WORD_LIST_PATH = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "OmgwordList" );
-
-    private static final String OMGWORD_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "OmgwordChannel" );
-
-    private ArrayList<String> words = loadWords();
-
-    private OmgwordGame currentGame;
-
-    private String word;
-
-    private String scrambled;
-
-    private static final Random random = new SecureRandom();
-
-    private static final long TIMEOUT = 30000L;
-
-    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onMessage( MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher questionMatcher = QUESTION_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        Matcher answerMatcher = ANSWER_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-        if ( questionMatcher.matches() && shouldStartGame( event ) )
-        {
-            startGame( event );
-        }
-        else if ( answerMatcher.matches() && shouldStartGame( event ) )
-        {
-            String answer = answerMatcher.group( 1 );
-            finishGame( event, answer );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean shouldStartGame( MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String actualChannel = event.getChannel().getName();
-
-        if ( OMGWORD_CHANNEL.equalsIgnoreCase( actualChannel ) )
-        {
-            return true;
-        }
-        event.respondWith( "To play Omgword join: " + OMGWORD_CHANNEL );
-        return false;
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void startGame( MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( currentGame != null )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( currentGame.getAlreadyPlayingString() );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            currentGame = new OmgwordGame();
-            for ( String msg : currentGame.getIntroString() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( msg );
-            }
-            startTimer( event );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void startTimer( final MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        timer.submit( () -> {
-            try
-            {
-                Thread.sleep( TIMEOUT );
-                timeoutTimer( event );
-            }
-            catch ( InterruptedException e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        } );
-    }
-
-    private void timeoutTimer( MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String message = currentGame.getTimeoutString();
-        event.respondWith( message );
-        currentGame = null;
-    }
-
-    private void stopTimer()
-    {
-        timer.shutdownNow();
-        timer = Executors.newFixedThreadPool( 1 );
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void finishGame( MessageEvent event, String answer )
-    {
-        String answerer = BaseNick.toBaseNick( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() );
-        if ( currentGame != null )
-        {
-            if ( currentGame.isCorrect( answer ) )
-            {
-                stopTimer();
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answerer,
-                                                  currentGame.getStakes() ) );
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, currentGame.getStakes() );
-                currentGame = null;
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answerer,
-                                                  currentGame.getStakes() ) );
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, -1 * currentGame.getStakes() );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !omgword" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private ArrayList<String> loadWords()
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            ArrayList<String> words = new ArrayList<>();
-            List<String> lines = Files.readAllLines( Paths.get( WORD_LIST_PATH ), Charset.forName( "UTF-8" ) );
-            for ( String line : lines )
-            {
-                words.addAll( Arrays.asList( line.split( " " ) ) );
-            }
-            return words;
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            System.exit( 1 );
-        }
-        return null;
-    }
-
-    private class OmgwordGame
-    {
-
-        String getAlreadyPlayingString()
-        {
-            return "A game is already in progress! Your word is: " + scrambled;
-        }
-
-        String[] getIntroString()
-        {
-            word = "";
-            int index = random.nextInt( words.size() - 1 );
-            word = words.get( index );
-            scrambled = word;
-            char[] chars = words.get( index ).toCharArray();
-            while ( scrambled.equals( word ) )
-            {
-                shuffleArray( chars );
-                scrambled = new String( chars );
-            }
-            return new String[] { "Welcome to omgword!", "For " + getStakes() + " karma:", scrambled,
-                "30 seconds on the clock." };
-        }
-
-        boolean isCorrect( String answer )
-        {
-            return answer.equals( word );
-        }
-
-        String getTimeoutString()
-        {
-            return "Game over! The correct answer was: " + word;
-        }
-
-        int getStakes()
-        {
-            return (int) Math.ceil( word.length() >> 1 );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static void shuffleArray( char[] array )
-    {
-        char temp;
-        int index;
-        Random random = new Random();
-        for ( int i = array.length - 1; i > 0; i-- )
-        {
-            index = random.nextInt( i + 1 );
-            temp = array[index];
-            array[index] = array[i];
-            array[i] = temp;
-        }
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ops.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ops.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4be04a25..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ops.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,48 +0,0 @@
-/*
-  Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
-
-  This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
-  of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.GroupDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Ignore;
-import org.pircbotx.Configuration;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-
-public class Ops
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    @Override
-    public void onJoin( final JoinEvent event )
-    {
-        String joiner = event.getUser().getNick();
-        String joinerBaseNick = BaseNick.toBaseNick( joiner );
-
-        if ( !Ignore.getAutoOp().contains( event.getChannel().getName() )
-            && event.getChannel().isOp( event.getBot().getUserBot() ) )
-        {
-            if ( event.getBot().getNick().equals( joiner ) )
-            {
-                for ( User user : event.getChannel().getNormalUsers() )
-                {
-                    if ( GroupDB.isOp( BaseNick.toBaseNick( user.getNick() ) ) )
-                    {
-                        event.getChannel().send().op( new Configuration.BotFactory().createUserHostmask( event.getBot(),
-                                                                                                         user.getHostmask() ) );
-                    }
-                }
-            }
-            else if ( GroupDB.isOp( joinerBaseNick ) )
-            {
-                event.getChannel().send().op( event.getUserHostmask() );
-            }
-
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/QuotesAndFacts.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/QuotesAndFacts.java
deleted file mode 100644
index db996a37..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/QuotesAndFacts.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,631 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.ChurchDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.QuoteFactDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Ignore;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.StringUtil;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.OutputStream;
-import java.net.HttpURLConnection;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLEncoder;
-import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
-import java.util.Arrays;
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Objects;
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-import java.util.regex.PatternSyntaxException;
-
-public class QuotesAndFacts
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nounPattern = Pattern.compile( "\\S+" );
-
-    private static final Pattern addPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote)add (" + nounPattern + ") (.+)$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern dumpPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote)dump (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern randomPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote)random5 (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern numPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote)number (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*$" );
-
-    private static final Pattern queryPattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote) (" + nounPattern + ")( !jaziz)?\\s*$" );
-
-    // "( !jaziz)" is not included in searchPattern because it is handled in factQuoteSearch method
-    private static final Pattern searchPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(fact|quote)search (" + nounPattern + ") (.*)$" );
-
-    private static final Random random = new Random();
-
-    // cache fact and quote dump links
-    private Map<String, String> dumpCache = new HashMap<>();
-
-    // update cache when new quotes/facts added
-    private Map<String, Integer> dumpSize = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private static final String PASTEBIN_API_URL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "pastebinApiUrl" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onJoin( final JoinEvent event ) // announce fact or quote on join
-    {
-        String baseNick = BaseNick.toBaseNick( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() );
-        if ( !Ignore.getOnJoin().contains( baseNick ) )
-        {
-            if ( random.nextBoolean() )
-            {
-                if ( !replyWithQuote( baseNick, event, false ) )
-                    replyWithFact( baseNick, event, false );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                if ( !replyWithFact( baseNick, event, false ) )
-                    replyWithQuote( baseNick, event, false );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher addMatcher = addPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher dumpMatcher = dumpPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher = randomPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher factQuoteNumMatcher = numPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher queryMatcher = queryPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher searchMatcher = searchPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( addMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteAdd( event, addMatcher );
-        if ( dumpMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteDump( event, dumpMatcher );
-        if ( factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteRandomDump( event, factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher );
-        if ( factQuoteNumMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteNum( event, factQuoteNumMatcher );
-        if ( queryMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteQuery( event, queryMatcher );
-        if ( searchMatcher.matches() )
-            factQuoteSearch( event, searchMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteAdd( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher addMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = addMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( addMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-        String text = addMatcher.group( 3 );
-        String sender = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-
-        if ( !sender.equals( noun ) )
-        {
-            text = trimChars( text, " '\"" );
-
-            if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
-            {
-                QuoteFactDB.addFact( noun, text );
-                event.respondWith( formatFactReply( noun, text ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                QuoteFactDB.addQuote( noun, text );
-                event.respondWith( formatQuoteReply( noun, text ) );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( mode )
-                + "s from yourself are both terrible and uninteresting." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteDump( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher dumpMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = dumpMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String queried = BaseNick.toBaseNick( dumpMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-
-        if ( mode.equals( "fact" ) )
-        {
-            Set<String> allFacts = QuoteFactDB.getFacts( queried );
-            if ( allFacts.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has no facts." );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                String dumpKey = "fact" + queried;
-                String response;
-                if ( allFacts.size() != dumpSize.getOrDefault( dumpKey, 0 ) )
-                {
-                    try
-                    {
-                        String title = queried + "'s facts";
-                        String pasteLink = dumpToPastebin( title, allFacts );
-                        dumpCache.put( dumpKey, pasteLink );
-                        dumpSize.put( dumpKey, allFacts.size() );
-                        response = "factdump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
-                    }
-                    catch ( Exception e )
-                    {
-                        e.printStackTrace();
-                        response = "Error creating pastebin link";
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    String pasteLink = dumpCache.get( dumpKey );
-                    response = "factdump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
-                }
-                event.respondWith( response );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            Set<String> allQuotes = QuoteFactDB.getQuotes( queried );
-            if ( allQuotes.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has no quotes." );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                String dumpKey = "quote" + queried;
-                String response;
-                if ( allQuotes.size() != dumpSize.getOrDefault( dumpKey, 0 ) )
-                {
-                    try
-                    {
-                        String title = queried.trim() + "'s quotes";
-                        String pasteLink = dumpToPastebin( title, allQuotes );
-                        dumpCache.put( dumpKey, pasteLink );
-                        dumpSize.put( dumpKey, allQuotes.size() );
-                        response = "quotedump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
-                    }
-                    catch ( Exception e )
-                    {
-                        e.printStackTrace();
-                        response = "Error creating pastebin link";
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    String pasteLink = dumpCache.get( dumpKey );
-                    response = "quotedump for " + queried + ": " + pasteLink;
-                }
-                event.respondWith( response );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String dumpToPastebin( String title, Set<String> allQuotes )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-        for ( String quote : allQuotes )
-        {
-            sb.append( URLEncoder.encode( quote + "\n", StandardCharsets.UTF_8 ) );
-        }
-
-        URL url = new URL( PASTEBIN_API_URL );
-        HttpURLConnection conn = (HttpURLConnection) url.openConnection();
-        conn.setDoOutput( true );
-        conn.setRequestMethod( "POST" );
-        conn.setRequestProperty( "Content-Type", "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" );
-        conn.setInstanceFollowRedirects( false );
-        String input = "format=text&code2=" + title + "\n\n" + sb.toString() + "&poster=vilebot&paste=Send&expiry=m";
-
-        OutputStream os = conn.getOutputStream();
-        os.write( input.getBytes() );
-        os.flush();
-        assert conn.getResponseCode() == 302;
-        return conn.getHeaderField( "Location" );
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteRandomDump( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String queried = BaseNick.toBaseNick( factQuoteRandomDumpMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-
-        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            Long factsLength = QuoteFactDB.getFactsLength( queried );
-            if ( factsLength == 0 )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( queried + " has no facts." );
-            }
-            else if ( factsLength <= 5 )
-            {
-                Set<String> allFacts = QuoteFactDB.getFacts( queried );
-                for ( String fact : allFacts )
-                {
-                    event.respondPrivateMessage( formatFactReply( queried, fact ) );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                List<String> randomFacts = QuoteFactDB.getRandFacts( queried );
-                for ( String fact : randomFacts )
-                {
-                    event.respondPrivateMessage( formatFactReply( queried, fact ) );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            Long quotesLength = QuoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( queried );
-            if ( quotesLength == 0 )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( queried + " has no quotes." );
-            }
-            else if ( quotesLength <= 5 )
-            {
-                Set<String> allQuotes = QuoteFactDB.getQuotes( queried );
-                for ( String quote : allQuotes )
-                {
-                    event.respondPrivateMessage( formatQuoteReply( queried, quote ) );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                List<String> randomQuote = QuoteFactDB.getRandQuotes( queried );
-                for ( String quote : randomQuote )
-                {
-                    event.respondPrivateMessage( formatQuoteReply( queried, quote ) );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteNum( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher factQuoteNumMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = factQuoteNumMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String queried = BaseNick.toBaseNick( factQuoteNumMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            Long factsLength = QuoteFactDB.getFactsLength( queried );
-            if ( factsLength == 0 )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has no facts." );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has " + factsLength + " facts." );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            Long quotesLength = QuoteFactDB.getQuotesLength( queried );
-            if ( quotesLength == 0 )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has no quotes." );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( queried + " has " + quotesLength + " quotes." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteQuery( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher queryMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = queryMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( queryMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-
-        // check if quote/fact needs to be piped to jaziz
-        boolean jaziz = event.getMessage().lastIndexOf( "!jaziz" ) >= 0;
-
-        if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            if ( !replyWithFact( noun, event, jaziz ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( noun + " has no facts." );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            if ( !replyWithQuote( noun, event, jaziz ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( noun + " has no quotes." );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void factQuoteSearch( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher searchMatcher )
-    {
-        String mode = searchMatcher.group( 1 );
-        String noun = BaseNick.toBaseNick( searchMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-        String regex = searchMatcher.group( 3 );
-
-        // check if quote/fact needs to be piped to jaziz
-        int jazizIdx = regex.lastIndexOf( "!jaziz" );
-        boolean jaziz = jazizIdx >= 0;
-        if ( jaziz )
-        {
-            regex = regex.substring( 0, jazizIdx - 1 );
-        }
-
-        try
-        {
-            // Case insensitive added automatically, use (?-i) in a message to re-enable case sensitivity
-            Pattern pattern = Pattern.compile( "(?i)" + regex );
-
-            if ( "fact".equals( mode ) )
-            {
-                Set<String> texts = QuoteFactDB.getFacts( noun );
-                if ( texts != null )
-                {
-                    String randomMatch = regexSetSearch( texts, pattern );
-                    if ( randomMatch != null )
-                    {
-                        randomMatch = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, randomMatch );
-                        if ( jaziz )
-                        {
-                            try
-                            {
-                                event.respondWith( formatFactReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify( randomMatch ) ) );
-                            }
-                            catch ( Exception e )
-                            {
-                                event.respondWith( "eeeh" );
-                                e.printStackTrace();
-                            }
-                        }
-                        else
-                        {
-                            event.respondWith( formatFactReply( noun, randomMatch ) );
-                        }
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        event.respondWith( noun + " has no matching facts." );
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( noun + " has no facts." );
-                }
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                Set<String> texts = QuoteFactDB.getQuotes( noun );
-                if ( texts != null )
-                {
-                    String randomMatch = regexSetSearch( texts, pattern );
-                    if ( randomMatch != null )
-                    {
-                        randomMatch = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, randomMatch );
-                        if ( jaziz )
-                        {
-                            try
-                            {
-                                event.respondWith( formatQuoteReply( noun, Jaziz.jazizify( randomMatch ) ) );
-                            }
-                            catch ( Exception e )
-                            {
-                                event.respondWith( "eeeh" );
-                                e.printStackTrace();
-                            }
-                        }
-                        else
-                        {
-                            event.respondWith( formatQuoteReply( noun, randomMatch ) );
-                        }
-                    }
-                    else
-                    {
-                        event.respondWith( noun + " has no matching quotes." );
-                    }
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( noun + " has no quotes." );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( PatternSyntaxException e )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Syntax error in regex pattern" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static String regexSetSearch( Set<String> texts, Pattern pattern )
-    {
-        List<String> matchingTexts = new LinkedList<>();
-
-        for ( String text : texts )
-        {
-            Matcher matcher = pattern.matcher( text );
-            if ( matcher.find() )
-            {
-                matchingTexts.add( text );
-            }
-        }
-
-        int matchCount = matchingTexts.size();
-        if ( matchCount > 0 )
-        {
-            int selection = random.nextInt( matchCount );
-            return matchingTexts.get( selection );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean replyWithFact( String noun, GenericMessageEvent event, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String replyText = getReplyFact( noun, jaziz );
-        if ( replyText != null )
-        {
-            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
-            replyText = formatFactReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
-            event.respondWith( replyText );
-            return true;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean replyWithFact( String noun, JoinEvent event, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String replyText = getReplyFact( noun, jaziz );
-        if ( replyText != null )
-        {
-            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
-            replyText = formatFactReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
-            event.getBot().send().message( event.getChannel().getName(), replyText );
-            return true;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getReplyFact( String noun, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String text = QuoteFactDB.getRandFact( noun );
-        if ( text == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-        if ( jaziz )
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                text = "eeeh";
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        }
-        return text;
-    }
-
-    private String formatFactReply( String noun, String fact )
-    {
-        return noun + " " + fact;
-    }
-
-    private boolean replyWithQuote( String noun, GenericMessageEvent event, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String replyText = getReplyQuote( noun, jaziz );
-        if ( replyText != null )
-        {
-            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
-            replyText = formatQuoteReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
-            event.respondWith( replyText );
-            return true;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean replyWithQuote( String noun, JoinEvent event, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String replyText = getReplyQuote( noun, jaziz );
-        if ( replyText != null )
-        {
-            replyText = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, replyText );
-            replyText = formatQuoteReply( getTitle( noun ), replyText );
-            event.getBot().send().message( event.getChannel().getName(), replyText );
-            return true;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private String getReplyQuote( String noun, boolean jaziz )
-    {
-        String text = QuoteFactDB.getRandQuote( noun );
-        if ( text == null )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-        if ( jaziz )
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                text = Jaziz.jazizify( text );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                text = "eeeh";
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        }
-        return text;
-    }
-
-    private String formatQuoteReply( String noun, String quote )
-    {
-        return noun + " once said, \"" + quote + "\".";
-    }
-
-    private String getTitle( String noun )
-    {
-        if ( ChurchDB.isTopDonor( noun ) )
-        {
-            String title = ChurchDB.getDonorTitle( noun );
-            if ( title.trim().length() > 0 )
-            {
-                noun = title;
-            }
-        }
-        return noun;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Removes all specified leading and trailing characters in the array charsToRemove.
-     *
-     * @param input The string to process
-     * @param charsToRemove All characters to remove, treated as a set
-     * @return A copy of the input String with the characters removed
-     */
-    private String trimChars( String input, String charsToRemove )
-    {
-        char[] value = input.toCharArray();
-        char[] rmChars = charsToRemove.toCharArray();
-        Arrays.sort( rmChars );
-
-        int len = value.length;
-        int st = 0;
-
-        while ( ( st < len ) && ( Arrays.binarySearch( rmChars, value[st] ) >= 0 ) )
-        {
-            st++;
-        }
-        while ( ( st < len ) && ( Arrays.binarySearch( rmChars, value[len - 1] ) >= 0 ) )
-        {
-            len--;
-        }
-
-        return input.substring( st, len );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMe.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMe.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 30335e44..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMe.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,157 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.Calendar;
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Timer;
-import java.util.TimerTask;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-//@HandlerContainer
-public class RemindMe
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final String timeFormat = "(\\d+\\w*)";
-
-    private static final Pattern remindMePattern = Pattern.compile( "^!remindme (.+) " + timeFormat );
-
-    private final String INVALID_TYPE_ERROR =
-        "The time type given is not valid (use d for day, m for month, s for second)";
-
-    private final String NO_TYPE_ERROR = "There was no type given for the time (use d/m/s)";
-
-    private final String TIME_TOO_LARGE_ERROR = "The value of time given is greater than the maximum Integer value";
-
-    private final String TOO_MANY_REMINDERS_ERROR =
-        "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one.";
-
-    private final String TIME_IS_OKAY = "Given time input is okay";
-
-    private String timeError = TIME_IS_OKAY;
-
-    private static Map<String, Integer> userReminders = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private final int MAX_REMINDERS = 10;
-
-    // @Handler
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = remindMePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.matches() )
-        {
-            String message = matcher.group( 1 );
-            String time = matcher.group( 2 );
-            String creator = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-            if ( !userReminders.containsKey( creator ) )
-            {
-                userReminders.put( creator, 0 );
-            }
-            Calendar timerTime = getTimerTime( time, creator );
-            if ( timerTime == null )
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time,
-                                                            timeError ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                Timer timer = new Timer();
-                timer.schedule( createTimerTask( event, message, creator ), timerTime.getTime() );
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( "Created reminder for " + timerTime.getTime() );
-                int amountOfReminders = userReminders.get( creator );
-                amountOfReminders++;
-                userReminders.put( creator, amountOfReminders );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private TimerTask createTimerTask( final GenericMessageEvent event, final String message, final String creator )
-    {
-        return new TimerTask()
-        {
-            @Override
-            public void run()
-            {
-                event.respondPrivateMessage( "This is your reminder that you should: " + message );
-                int amountOfReminders = userReminders.get( creator );
-                amountOfReminders--;
-                userReminders.put( creator, amountOfReminders );
-            }
-        };
-    }
-
-    private Calendar getTimerTime( final String time, final String creator )
-    {
-        Calendar calendar = Calendar.getInstance();
-        verifyTime( time, creator );
-        if ( !timeError.equals( TIME_IS_OKAY ) )
-        {
-            return null;
-        }
-        int timeValue = Integer.parseInt( time.substring( 0, time.length() - 1 ) );
-        switch ( time.substring( time.length() - 1 ) )
-        {
-            case "d":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.DAY_OF_MONTH, timeValue );
-            case "m":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.MINUTE, timeValue );
-            case "s":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.SECOND, timeValue );
-        }
-        return calendar;
-    }
-
-    private void verifyTime( final String time, final String creator )
-    {
-        String type = time.substring( time.length() - 1 );
-        if ( !type.equals( "d" ) && !type.equals( "m" ) && !type.equals( "s" ) )
-        {
-            if ( isNumeric( time ) )
-            {
-                timeError = NO_TYPE_ERROR;
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                timeError = INVALID_TYPE_ERROR;
-            }
-            return;
-        }
-        try
-        {
-            String givenTime = time.substring( 0, time.length() - 1 );
-            Integer.valueOf( givenTime );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            timeError = TIME_TOO_LARGE_ERROR;
-            return;
-        }
-        if ( userReminders.get( creator ) == MAX_REMINDERS )
-        {
-            timeError = TOO_MANY_REMINDERS_ERROR;
-            return;
-        }
-        timeError = TIME_IS_OKAY;
-    }
-
-    private boolean isNumeric( final String time )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            Integer.valueOf( time );
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            return false;
-        }
-        return true;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RockPaperScissors.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RockPaperScissors.java
deleted file mode 100644
index fe7d760d..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/RockPaperScissors.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,351 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.PrivateMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.Random;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by Christopher Chianelli on 27/08/17. Thanks to Josh Matsuoka for helping squashing bugs RockPaperScissors
- * implementation based off of Trivia.java
- */
-public class RockPaperScissors
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final String RPS_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "rpsChannel" );
-
-    private static final int DEFAULT_STAKE = 10;
-
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
-
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
-
-    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
-
-    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
-
-    private static final Pattern rpsPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!rps (\\S*)(.*)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern answerPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(rock|paper|scissors)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern cancelPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!rpscancel" );
-
-    private static final Pattern rulesPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!rpsrules" );
-
-    private static RPSGame currGame = null;
-
-    private static class RPSGame
-    {
-        private static final String[] answers = { "rock", "paper", "scissors" };
-
-        private String callerNick;
-
-        private String daredNick;
-
-        private String callerAnswer;
-
-        private String daredAnswer;
-
-        private String daredThing;
-
-        private GenericMessageEvent event;
-
-        Random rand = new Random();
-
-        RPSGame( String callerNick, String daredNick, String daredThing, GenericMessageEvent event )
-        {
-            this.callerNick = callerNick;
-            this.daredNick = daredNick;
-            this.callerAnswer = null;
-            this.daredAnswer = null;
-            this.daredThing = daredThing;
-            this.event = event;
-            rand = new Random();
-            if ( daredNick.equals( event.getBot().getNick() ) )
-            {
-                this.daredAnswer = answers[rand.nextInt( answers.length )];
-            }
-        }
-
-        private String getCaller()
-        {
-            return callerNick;
-        }
-
-        private String getDared()
-        {
-            return daredNick;
-        }
-
-        private GenericMessageEvent getEvent()
-        {
-            return event;
-        }
-
-        private String getRPSIntro()
-        {
-            String start = RED + callerNick + " dared " + daredNick + " to a Rock Paper Scissors match";
-            if ( daredThing != null )
-            {
-                return start + " for " + daredThing + "!" + RESET + "\n";
-            }
-            return start + "!" + RESET + "\n";
-        }
-
-        private String getRPSOutro()
-        {
-            String start =
-                RED + callerNick + " used " + callerAnswer + ", " + daredNick + " used " + daredAnswer + ", ";
-            if ( null != getWinner() )
-            {
-                return start + getWinner() + " wins" + ( ( null != daredThing ) ? " " + daredThing : "" ) + "!";
-            }
-            return start + "no one wins!";
-        }
-
-        private String alreadyPlaying()
-        {
-            return "A current game is already in progress.\n" + getRPSIntro();
-        }
-
-        private boolean setSubmission( String contestant, String answer )
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            if ( contestant.equals( callerNick ) )
-            {
-                if ( null != callerAnswer )
-                {
-                    throw new Exception( "You have already submitted your answer!\n" );
-                }
-                callerAnswer = answer;
-                return null != daredAnswer;
-            }
-            else if ( contestant.equals( daredNick ) )
-            {
-                if ( null != daredAnswer )
-                {
-                    throw new Exception( "You have already submitted your answer!\n" );
-                }
-                daredAnswer = answer;
-                return null != callerAnswer;
-            }
-            throw new Exception( "You are not playing in this RPS game!\n" );
-        }
-
-        private String getWinner()
-        {
-            if ( callerAnswer.equals( daredAnswer ) )
-            {
-                return null;
-            }
-
-            if ( firstBeatsSecond( callerAnswer, daredAnswer ) )
-            {
-                return callerNick;
-            }
-            return daredNick;
-        }
-
-        private String getLoser()
-        {
-            String winner = getWinner();
-            if ( null == winner )
-            {
-                return null;
-            }
-            if ( callerNick.equals( winner ) )
-            {
-                return daredNick;
-            }
-            return callerNick;
-        }
-
-        private static boolean firstBeatsSecond( String first, String second )
-        {
-            if ( first.equals( "rock" ) )
-            {
-                return "scissors".equals( second );
-            }
-            else if ( first.equals( "paper" ) )
-            {
-                return "rock".equals( second );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                return "paper".equals( second );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher rpsMatcher = rpsPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher answerMatcher = answerPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher rulesMatcher = rulesPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher cancelMatcher = cancelPattern.matcher( text );
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent && rpsMatcher.matches() && correctChannel( (MessageEvent) event ) )
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                startRPSGame( event, rpsMatcher.group( 1 ), rpsMatcher.group( 2 ) );
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( e.getMessage() );
-            }
-        }
-        else if ( answerMatcher.matches() && correctSolutionChannel( event ) )
-        {
-            String answer = answerMatcher.group( 1 );
-            checkAnswer( event, answer );
-        }
-        else if ( rulesMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( getRules( event ) );
-        }
-        else if ( cancelMatcher.matches() )
-        {
-            cancelGame( event );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean correctChannel( MessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String currChannel = event.getChannel().getName();
-        if ( RPS_CHANNEL.equals( currChannel ) )
-        {
-            return true;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "To play Rock Paper Scissors join : " + RPS_CHANNEL );
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean isPrivate( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return event instanceof PrivateMessageEvent;
-    }
-
-    private boolean inGameChannel( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return event instanceof MessageEvent && ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( RPS_CHANNEL );
-    }
-
-    private boolean correctSolutionChannel( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( ( isPrivate( event ) && inGameChannel( event ) ) )
-        {
-            return true;
-        }
-        else if ( ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( RPS_CHANNEL ) )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( getSubmissionRuleString( event ) );
-            return false;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "To play Rock Paper Scissors join : " + RPS_CHANNEL );
-            return false;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void cancelGame( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( null != currGame )
-        {
-            String caller = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-            if ( caller.equals( currGame.getCaller() ) || caller.equals( currGame.getDared() ) )
-            {
-                currGame = null;
-                event.respondWith( "RPS game cancelled" );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Only " + currGame.getCaller() + " or " + currGame.getDared()
-                    + " can cancel this game." );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void startRPSGame( GenericMessageEvent event, String dared, String daredThing )
-    {
-        if ( null == currGame )
-        {
-            String caller = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-            if ( caller.equals( dared ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "You cannot challenge yourself to a Rock Paper Scissors game!" );
-                return;
-            }
-            if ( !daredThing.trim().isEmpty() )
-            {
-                currGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared, daredThing.trim(), event );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                currGame = new RPSGame( caller, dared, null, event );
-            }
-            event.respondWith( currGame.getRPSIntro() + getSubmissionRuleString( event ) );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( currGame.alreadyPlaying() );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void checkAnswer( GenericMessageEvent event, String submission )
-    {
-        String contestant = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        if ( currGame != null )
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                boolean endGame = currGame.setSubmission( contestant, submission );
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "Your submission of %s has been recieved!", submission ) );
-                if ( endGame )
-                {
-                    currGame.getEvent().respondWith( currGame.getRPSOutro() );
-                    currGame = null;
-                }
-            }
-            catch ( Exception e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-                event.respondWith( e.getMessage() );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !rps dared [bet]" );
-        }
-
-    }
-
-    private String getRules( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return RED + "RPS RULES: \n" + RESET + "1) Dare someone to play rock paper scissors with you! \n" + RESET
-            + "2) Rock beats scissors, paper beats rocks, and scissors beat paper \n" + "3) Use /msg "
-            + event.getBot().getNick() + " !(rock|paper|scissors) to set your action. Cannot be undone.";
-    }
-
-    private String getSubmissionRuleString( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        return RED + "Use \" /msg " + RESET + event.getBot().getNick() + RED + " !(rock|paper|scissors) \" to submit."
-            + RESET;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Summon.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Summon.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 39e88527..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Summon.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,63 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-public class Summon
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern nounPattern = Pattern.compile( "\\S+" );
-
-    private static final Pattern summonPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!summon (" + nounPattern + ")\\s*$" );
-
-    public static LimitCommand limitCommand = new LimitCommand();
-
-    private static final String RESTRICTED_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent
-            && ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( RESTRICTED_CHANNEL ) )
-        {
-            String text = event.getMessage();
-
-            Matcher summonMatcher = summonPattern.matcher( text );
-
-            if ( summonMatcher.matches() )
-            {
-                String toSummon = summonMatcher.group( 1 ).trim();
-                if ( ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getUsers().stream().filter( u -> u.getNick().equals( toSummon ) ).findAny().isPresent() )
-                {
-                    event.respondWith( toSummon + " is already in the channel." );
-                }
-                else
-                {
-                    String isLimit = limitCommand.addUse( event.getUser().getNick() );
-                    if ( isLimit.isEmpty() )
-                        summonNick( event, toSummon );
-                    else
-                        event.respondWith( isLimit );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void summonNick( GenericMessageEvent event, String nick )
-    {
-        event.getBot().sendIRC().invite( nick, RESTRICTED_CHANNEL );
-        event.getBot().sendIRC().message( nick, "You are summoned by "
-            + BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() ) + " to join " + RESTRICTED_CHANNEL );
-        event.respond( nick + " was invited." );
-
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Trivia.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Trivia.java
deleted file mode 100644
index d7f66538..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Trivia.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,317 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.KarmaDB;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import info.debatty.java.stringsimilarity.NormalizedLevenshtein;
-import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import twitter4j.JSONArray;
-import twitter4j.JSONObject;
-
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.util.ArrayList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.concurrent.ExecutorService;
-import java.util.concurrent.Executors;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 25/07/16. Simple Jeopardy implementation.
- */
-
-public class Trivia
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern questionPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!jeopardy" );
-
-    private static final Pattern answerPattern = Pattern.compile( "^!(whatis|whois) (.*)" );
-
-    private static TriviaGame currentGame = null;
-
-    private static final String JEOPARDY_CHANNEL = Vilebot.getConfig().get( "jeopardyChannel" );
-
-    private static final long TIMEOUT = 30000L;
-
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
-
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
-
-    private static final String BLUE = "\u000302";
-
-    private static final String GREEN = "\u000303";
-
-    private static ExecutorService timer = Executors.newScheduledThreadPool( 1 );
-
-    private static final Integer RECURSION_LIMIT = 10;
-
-    private static Integer CURRENT_RECURSION_DEPTH = 0;
-
-    private static final String WELCOME_STRING = "Welcome to Bot Jeopardy!";
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher questionMatcher = questionPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher answerMatcher = answerPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        try
-        {
-            if ( questionMatcher.matches() && shouldStartGame( event ) )
-            {
-                startGame( event );
-            }
-            else if ( answerMatcher.matches() && shouldStartGame( event ) )
-            {
-                String answer = answerMatcher.group( 2 );
-                finishGame( event, answer );
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "I don't feel like playing." );
-            e.printStackTrace();
-        }
-    }
-
-    private boolean shouldStartGame( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent
-            && ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( JEOPARDY_CHANNEL ) )
-        {
-            return true;
-        }
-        event.respondWith( "To play jeopardy join: " + JEOPARDY_CHANNEL );
-        return false;
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void startGame( GenericMessageEvent event )
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        if ( currentGame != null )
-        {
-            for ( String msg : currentGame.getAlreadyPlayingString() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( msg );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            currentGame = new TriviaGame();
-            event.respondWith( WELCOME_STRING );
-            for ( String msg : currentGame.getIntroString() )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( msg );
-            }
-            startTimer( event );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void startTimer( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        timer.submit( () -> {
-            try
-            {
-                Thread.sleep( TIMEOUT );
-                timeoutTimer( event );
-            }
-            catch ( InterruptedException e )
-            {
-                e.printStackTrace();
-            }
-        } );
-    }
-
-    private void timeoutTimer( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        for ( String msg : currentGame.getTimeoutString() )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( msg );
-        }
-        currentGame = null;
-    }
-
-    private void stopTimer()
-    {
-        timer.shutdownNow();
-        timer = Executors.newFixedThreadPool( 1 );
-    }
-
-    private synchronized void finishGame( GenericMessageEvent event, String answer )
-    {
-        String answerer = BaseNick.toBaseNick( event.getUser().getNick() );
-        if ( currentGame != null )
-        {
-            if ( currentGame.isCorrect( answer ) )
-            {
-                stopTimer();
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "Congrats %s, you win %d karma!", answerer,
-                                                  currentGame.getStakes() ) );
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, currentGame.getStakes() );
-                currentGame = null;
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( String.format( "Sorry %s! That is incorrect, you lose %d karma.", answerer,
-                                                  currentGame.getStakes() ) );
-                KarmaDB.modNounKarma( answerer, -1 * currentGame.getStakes() );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !jeopardy" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static class TriviaGame
-    {
-
-        private int stakes;
-
-        private String question;
-
-        private String answer;
-
-        private String category;
-
-        private static final String API_URL = "http://jservice.io/api/random";
-
-        TriviaGame()
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            JSONObject triviaJSON = getQuestionJSON();
-            if ( triviaJSON != null )
-            {
-                question = triviaJSON.getString( "question" );
-                category = triviaJSON.getJSONObject( "category" ).getString( "title" );
-                answer = Jsoup.parse( triviaJSON.getString( "answer" ) ).text();
-                stakes = getStakes( triviaJSON );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                question = "Could not find a question";
-                category = "Could not find a question";
-                answer = "Could not find a question";
-                stakes = 0;
-            }
-        }
-
-        private int getStakes( JSONObject trivia )
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            if ( trivia.has( "value" ) && !trivia.isNull( "value" ) )
-            {
-                return trivia.getInt( "value" ) / 100;
-            }
-            return 5;
-        }
-
-        String getQuestion()
-        {
-            return question;
-        }
-
-        String getAnswer()
-        {
-            return answer;
-        }
-
-        int getStakes()
-        {
-            return stakes;
-        }
-
-        private boolean isCorrect( String answer )
-        {
-            String formattedUserAnswer = formatAnswer( answer );
-            String formattedActualAnswer = formatAnswer( this.answer );
-            double distance = new NormalizedLevenshtein().distance( formattedActualAnswer, formattedUserAnswer );
-            return distance < 0.5;
-        }
-
-        private String formatAnswer( String answer )
-        {
-            return answer.toLowerCase().replaceAll( "^the ",
-                                                    "" ).replaceAll( "^a ",
-                                                                     "" ).replaceAll( "^an ",
-                                                                                      "" ).replaceAll( "\\(.*\\)",
-                                                                                                       "" ).replaceAll( "/.*",
-                                                                                                                        "" ).replaceAll( "&",
-                                                                                                                                         "and" ).replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z\\d]",
-                                                                                                                                                             "" );
-        }
-
-        private List<String> getQuestionBlurb()
-        {
-            List<String> questionBlurb = new ArrayList<>();
-            questionBlurb.add( "Your category is: " + RED + category + RESET );
-            questionBlurb.add( "For " + GREEN + stakes + RESET + " karma:" );
-            questionBlurb.add( BLUE + question + RESET );
-            return questionBlurb;
-        }
-
-        List<String> getIntroString()
-        {
-            List<String> introString = new ArrayList<>( getQuestionBlurb() );
-            introString.add( "30 seconds on the clock." );
-            return introString;
-        }
-
-        List<String> getAlreadyPlayingString()
-        {
-            List<String> alreadyPlayingString = new ArrayList<>();
-            alreadyPlayingString.add( "A game is already in session!" );
-            alreadyPlayingString.addAll( getQuestionBlurb() );
-            return alreadyPlayingString;
-        }
-
-        List<String> getTimeoutString()
-        {
-            List<String> timeoutString = new ArrayList<>();
-            timeoutString.add( "Your 30 seconds is up! The answer we were looking for was:" );
-            timeoutString.add( BLUE + answer + RESET );
-            return timeoutString;
-        }
-
-        private String getQuestionContent()
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            String content;
-            URLConnection connection;
-            connection = new URL( API_URL ).openConnection();
-            connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
-            Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-            scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-            content = scanner.next();
-            return content;
-        }
-
-        private JSONObject getQuestionJSON()
-            throws Exception
-        {
-            String triviaContent = getQuestionContent();
-            JSONObject triviaJSON = new JSONArray( triviaContent ).getJSONObject( 0 );
-            String question = triviaJSON.getString( "question" ).trim();
-            boolean invalidFlag = !( triviaJSON.getString( "invalid_count" ).equals( "null" ) );
-            if ( ( question.equals( "" ) || question.contains( "seen here" ) || invalidFlag )
-                && ( CURRENT_RECURSION_DEPTH < RECURSION_LIMIT ) )
-            {
-                CURRENT_RECURSION_DEPTH += 1;
-                return getQuestionJSON();
-            }
-            else if ( CURRENT_RECURSION_DEPTH >= RECURSION_LIMIT )
-            {
-                return null;
-            }
-            return triviaJSON;
-        }
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ttc.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ttc.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 3835d7e5..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Ttc.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,82 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
-import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
-import org.jsoup.nodes.Element;
-import org.jsoup.select.Elements;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.net.URLConnection;
-import java.util.Scanner;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Created by eunderhi on 27/10/15.
- */
-
-public class Ttc
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern TTC_PATTERN = Pattern.compile( "^!ttc$" );
-
-    public static final String TTC_URL = "https://www.ttc.ca/Service_Advisories/all_service_alerts.jsp";
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher match = TTC_PATTERN.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( match.matches() )
-        {
-            printAlerts( event );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void printAlerts( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            for ( Element element : parseContent( getContent() ) )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( element.text() );
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "Unable to retrieve alerts." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private Elements parseContent( String content )
-    {
-        Elements alerts = new Elements();
-        Document doc = Jsoup.parse( content );
-        Elements alertDivs = doc.select( "div[class=alert-content]" );
-        for ( Element element : alertDivs )
-        {
-            if ( !element.text().toLowerCase().contains( "elevator" ) )
-            {
-                alerts.addAll( element.select( "p[class=veh-replace]" ) );
-            }
-        }
-        return alerts;
-    }
-
-    private String getContent()
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        String content;
-        URLConnection connection;
-        connection = new URL( TTC_URL ).openConnection();
-        connection.addRequestProperty( "User-Agent", "Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)" );
-        Scanner scanner = new Scanner( connection.getInputStream() );
-        scanner.useDelimiter( "\\Z" );
-        content = scanner.next();
-        return content;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrection.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrection.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 8fa527b2..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrection.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,35 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013-2014 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class TwitterCorrection
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern twitterSyntaxUsePattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:^|\\s+)[@](\\S+)(?:\\s|:|)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-        Matcher matcher = twitterSyntaxUsePattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( matcher.find() )
-        {
-            String word = matcher.group( 1 );
-
-            String sb = "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: "
-                + word.replaceAll( "[^A-Za-z0-9]$", "" ) + ": message";
-            event.respond( sb );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTitleAnnouncer.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTitleAnnouncer.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 20b9c2eb..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTitleAnnouncer.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,67 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.jsoup.Jsoup;
-import org.jsoup.nodes.Document;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Will find the HTML title of HTTP(S) pages from certain domains. Generally it's only worth adding trustworthy domains
- * that don't include titles in the URL for SEO.
- */
-
-public class UrlTitleAnnouncer
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern urlPattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:abstrusegoose|xkcd)\\.com|youtube\\.(?:com|ca)|youtu\\.be)[^ ]*)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern titlePattern = Pattern.compile( "<title>(.*)</title>" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Matcher urlMatcher = urlPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-
-        if ( urlMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( urlMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-            event.respondWith( "'" + title + "'" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Accesses the source of a HTML page and looks for a title element
-     * 
-     * @param url http URI String
-     * @return String of text between the first <title> tag group on the page, empty if error.
-     */
-    private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( String url )
-    {
-        String title = "";
-
-        try
-        {
-            Document doc = Jsoup.connect( url ).get();
-            title = doc.title();
-        }
-        catch ( IOException x )
-        {
-            System.err.format( "scrapeURLHTMLTitle BufferedReader error: %s%n", x );
-        }
-
-        return title;
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTweetAnnouncer.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTweetAnnouncer.java
deleted file mode 100644
index c2a10c50..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UrlTweetAnnouncer.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,132 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2014 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import twitter4j.Status;
-import twitter4j.Twitter;
-import twitter4j.TwitterException;
-import twitter4j.TwitterFactory;
-import twitter4j.User;
-import twitter4j.conf.ConfigurationBuilder;
-
-import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Will grab the text from a tweet given the static tweet URL. To enable, add the following entries to vilebot.conf:
- * consumerKey consumerSecret accessToken accessTokenSecret Where all of the above are created at
- * https://apps.twitter.com
- */
-
-public class UrlTweetAnnouncer
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Pattern urlPattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "((?:http|https)://(?:www.|)(?:(?:twitter)\\.com)[^ ]*)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern titlePattern = Pattern.compile( "<title>(.*)</title>" );
-
-    private final Map<String, String> cfg = Vilebot.getConfig();
-
-    private final String consumerKey = cfg.get( "consumerKey" ); // may be known as 'API key'
-
-    private final String consumerSecret = cfg.get( "consumerSecret" ); // may be known as 'API secret'
-
-    private final String accessToken = cfg.get( "accessToken" ); // may be known as 'Access token'
-
-    private final String accessTokenSecret = cfg.get( "accessTokenSecret" ); // may be known as 'Access token secret'
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Matcher urlMatcher = urlPattern.matcher( event.getMessage() );
-
-        if ( urlMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            if ( consumerKey == null || consumerSecret == null || accessToken == null || accessTokenSecret == null )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Sorry, I can't read that tweet because my maintainer is a moron. And I wouldn't want to read it, anyway." );
-                return;
-            }
-
-            String title = scrapeURLHTMLTitle( event, urlMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-            event.respondWith( "' " + title + " '" );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Accesses the source of a HTML page and looks for a title element
-     * 
-     * @param url http tweet String
-     * @return String of text which represents the tweet. Empty if error.
-     */
-    private String scrapeURLHTMLTitle( GenericMessageEvent event, String url )
-    {
-        String text = "";
-
-        try
-        {
-            new URL( url );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException x )
-        {
-            // System.err.format("scrapeURLHTMLTitle new URL error: %s%n", x);
-            return text;
-        }
-
-        // split the url into pieces, change the request based on what we have
-        String[] parts = url.split( "/" );
-        int userPosition = 0;
-        long tweetID = 0;
-        for ( int i = 0; i < parts.length; i++ )
-        {
-            if ( parts[i].equals( "twitter.com" ) )
-                userPosition = i + 1;
-            if ( parts[i].equals( "status" ) || parts[i].equals( "statuses" ) )
-                tweetID = Long.valueOf( parts[i + 1] );
-        }
-        if ( userPosition == 0 )
-            return text;
-        else
-        {
-            try
-            {
-                ConfigurationBuilder cb = new ConfigurationBuilder();
-                cb.setDebugEnabled( true ).setOAuthConsumerKey( consumerKey ).setOAuthConsumerSecret( consumerSecret ).setOAuthAccessToken( accessToken ).setOAuthAccessTokenSecret( accessTokenSecret );
-                TwitterFactory tf = new TwitterFactory( cb.build() );
-                Twitter twitter = tf.getInstance();
-                if ( tweetID != 0 ) // tweet of the twitter.com/USERID/status/TWEETID variety
-                {
-                    Status status = twitter.showStatus( tweetID );
-                    return ( status.getUser().getName() + ": " + status.getText() );
-                }
-                else // just the user is given, ie, twitter.com/USERID
-                {
-                    User user = twitter.showUser( parts[userPosition].toString() );
-                    if ( !user.getDescription().isEmpty() ) // the user has a description
-                        return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + " | " + user.getDescription() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'"
-                            + user.getStatus().getText() );
-                    else // the user doesn't have a description, don't print it
-                        return ( "Name: " + user.getName() + "\'\nLast Tweet: \'" + user.getStatus().getText() );
-
-                }
-            }
-            catch ( TwitterException x )
-            {
-                return event.getBot().getNick()
-                    + ": Until my maintainer fixes the API Key, this is the only tweet you're gonna see. U mad, bro?";
-            }
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UserPing.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UserPing.java
deleted file mode 100644
index b34b2c08..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/UserPing.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,29 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-public class UserPing
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    /**
-     * Reply to user !ping command with "nickname, pong"
-     */
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        if ( text.startsWith( "!ping" ) )
-        {
-            String user = event.getUser().getNick();
-            event.respondWith( user + ", pong" );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Userlists.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Userlists.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 3bf80061..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Userlists.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,164 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.db.UserlistDB;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Userlists
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Pattern enumeratePattern = Pattern.compile( "!lists" );
-
-    private static final Pattern queryPattern = Pattern.compile( "!list (\\S+)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern nickBlobPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:(\\S+?)(?:, +| +|$))" );
-
-    private static final Pattern addRemovePattern =
-        Pattern.compile( "!list(add|rem) (\\S+) (" + nickBlobPattern + "+)" );
-
-    private Pattern expandPattern = Pattern.compile( "(\\S+): (.*)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher enumerateMatcher = enumeratePattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher queryMatcher = queryPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher addRemoveMatcher = addRemovePattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher expandMatcher = expandPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( enumerateMatcher.matches() )
-            listsEnumerate( event );
-        if ( queryMatcher.matches() )
-            listQuery( event, queryMatcher );
-        if ( addRemoveMatcher.matches() )
-            listAddRemove( event, addRemoveMatcher );
-        if ( expandMatcher.matches() )
-            listExpansion( event, expandMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void listsEnumerate( GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        Set<String> lists = UserlistDB.getLists();
-
-        if ( lists != null && lists.size() > 0 )
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            sb.append( "Available lists: " );
-            for ( String list : lists )
-            {
-                sb.append( list );
-                sb.append( ", " );
-            }
-            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
-            event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "There are no lists." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void listQuery( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String listName = matcher.group( 1 );
-
-        Set<String> users = UserlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
-        if ( users != null && users.size() > 0 )
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            sb.append( "The list " );
-            sb.append( listName );
-            sb.append( " contains: " );
-
-            for ( String user : users )
-            {
-                sb.append( user );
-                sb.append( ", " );
-            }
-            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
-
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( sb.toString() );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondPrivateMessage( "The list " + listName + " does not exist or is empty." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void listAddRemove( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String mode = matcher.group( 1 );
-        String listName = matcher.group( 2 );
-        String nickBlob = matcher.group( 3 );
-        if ( nickBlob == null )
-        {
-            nickBlob = matcher.group( 4 );
-        }
-
-        List<String> nicks = new LinkedList<>();
-        Matcher nickMatcher = nickBlobPattern.matcher( nickBlob );
-        while ( nickMatcher.find() )
-        {
-            nicks.add( nickMatcher.group( 1 ) );
-        }
-
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        if ( "add".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            UserlistDB.addUsersTo( listName, nicks );
-            sb.append( "Added the following names to list " );
-        }
-        else if ( "rem".equals( mode ) )
-        {
-            UserlistDB.removeUsersFrom( listName, nicks );
-            sb.append( "Removed the following names from list " );
-        }
-
-        sb.append( listName );
-        sb.append( ": " );
-
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            sb.append( nick );
-            sb.append( ", " );
-        }
-        sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
-
-        event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-    }
-
-    private void listExpansion( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String sender = event.getUser().getNick();
-        String listName = matcher.group( 1 );
-        String msg = matcher.group( 2 );
-
-        Set<String> users = UserlistDB.getUsersIn( listName );
-        if ( users != null && users.size() > 0 )
-        {
-            StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-            for ( String user : users )
-            {
-                if ( !user.equals( sender ) )
-                {
-                    sb.append( user );
-                    sb.append( ", " );
-                }
-            }
-            sb.delete( sb.length() - 2, sb.length() );
-            sb.append( ": " );
-            sb.append( msg );
-
-            event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Weather.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Weather.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4dd79be1..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/handlers/user/Weather.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,323 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Ignore;
-import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
-import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.FeedException;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.SyndFeedInput;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.XmlReader;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.net.MalformedURLException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.Date;
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
-import java.util.LinkedList;
-import java.util.Map.Entry;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class Weather
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-
-    private static final Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( Weather.class );
-
-    private static final String LESS_NICK = "owilliams";
-    static
-    {
-        Ignore.addOnJoin( LESS_NICK );
-    }
-
-    private static final String defaultLocation = "ytz";
-
-    private static final HashMap<String, URL> weatherFeedsByIataCode = new LinkedHashMap<>();
-    static
-    {
-        try
-        {
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxu", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-137_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-143_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ygk", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-69_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yeg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-50_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-52_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yul", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/qc-147_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yvr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-74_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-77_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ytz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-128_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-85_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ykf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-82_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yhz", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ns-19_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfc", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nb-29_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nl-24_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/pe-5_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-100_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ywg", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/mb-38_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yqr", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-32_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxe", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/sk-40_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ymm", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/ab-20_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxs", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-79_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yyj", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-85_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylw", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-48_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yka", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/bc-45_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yow", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/on-118_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yxy", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/yt-16_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yzf", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nt-24_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "yfb", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-21_e.xml" ) );
-            weatherFeedsByIataCode.put( "ylt", new URL( "https://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/nu-22_e.xml" ) );
-        }
-        catch ( MalformedURLException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( "Error loading weather URLs" );
-            throw new RuntimeException( e );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static HashMap<String, WeatherData> weatherDataByIataCode = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private static final long weatherDataCacheTime = 1000 * 60 * 30;
-
-    private static final Pattern weatherPattern = Pattern.compile( "!(less|more|)weather(?: ([a-zA-Z]{3})|)" );
-
-    private static final Pattern forecastPattern = Pattern.compile( "!forecast(?: ([a-zA-Z]{3})|)" );
-
-    @Override
-    public void onGenericMessage( final GenericMessageEvent event )
-    {
-        String text = event.getMessage();
-
-        Matcher forecastMatcher = forecastPattern.matcher( text );
-        Matcher weatherMatcher = weatherPattern.matcher( text );
-
-        if ( forecastMatcher.matches() )
-            forecastWeather( event, forecastMatcher );
-        if ( weatherMatcher.matches() )
-            currentWeather( event, weatherMatcher );
-    }
-
-    private void forecastWeather( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String locationCode = matcher.group( 1 ); // The IATA code
-        if ( locationCode == null )
-        {
-            locationCode = defaultLocation;
-        }
-        locationCode = locationCode.toLowerCase();
-
-        if ( weatherFeedsByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
-        {
-            WeatherData weather = getWeatherFor( locationCode );
-            if ( weather == null )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Error reading weather feed for " + locationCode );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-                for ( Entry<String, String> forecastDay : weather.getForecast().entrySet() )
-                {
-                    sb.append( "[" );
-                    sb.append( forecastDay.getKey() );
-                    sb.append( ": " );
-                    sb.append( forecastDay.getValue() );
-                    sb.append( "] " );
-                }
-                event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-            }
-        }
-    }
-
-    private void currentWeather( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher )
-    {
-        String modifier = matcher.group( 1 ); // Either less or more or null
-        String locationCode = matcher.group( 2 ); // The IATA code
-        if ( locationCode == null )
-        {
-            locationCode = defaultLocation;
-        }
-        locationCode = locationCode.toLowerCase();
-
-        if ( weatherFeedsByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
-        {
-            WeatherData weather = getWeatherFor( locationCode );
-            if ( weather == null )
-            {
-                event.respondWith( "Error reading weather feed for " + locationCode );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                if ( !"less".equals( modifier ) )
-                {
-                    for ( String alert : weather.getAlerts() )
-                    {
-                        event.respondWith( alert );
-                    }
-                }
-
-                LinkedHashMap<String, String> currentConditions = weather.getCurrentConditions();
-                if ( "".equals( modifier ) )
-                {
-
-                    String sb = currentConditions.get( "Condition" ) + ", Temperature: "
-                        + currentConditions.get( "Temperature" ) + ", Humidity: " + currentConditions.get( "Humidity" )
-                        + " - " + currentConditions.get( "Observed at" );
-                    event.respondWith( sb );
-                }
-                else if ( "less".equals( modifier ) )
-                {
-                    // bot.sendPrivmsgAs( LESS_NICK, event.getChannel(),
-                    // "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
-                    event.respondWith( "IT'S " + currentConditions.get( "Condition" ).toUpperCase() );
-                }
-                else if ( "more".equals( modifier ) )
-                {
-                    StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-                    for ( Entry<String, String> condition : currentConditions.entrySet() )
-                    {
-                        sb.append( "[" );
-                        sb.append( condition.getKey() );
-                        sb.append( ": " );
-                        sb.append( condition.getValue() );
-                        sb.append( "] " );
-                    }
-                    event.respondWith( sb.toString() );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No weather feed available for " + locationCode );
-        }
-    }
-
-    private WeatherData getWeatherFor( String locationCode )
-    {
-        if ( weatherDataByIataCode.containsKey( locationCode ) )
-        {
-            WeatherData weather = weatherDataByIataCode.get( locationCode );
-
-            long timeDiff = new Date().getTime() - weather.getCreationDate().getTime();
-            // Cache for at most half an hour
-            if ( timeDiff < weatherDataCacheTime )
-            {
-                return weather;
-            }
-        }
-
-        URL feedSource = weatherFeedsByIataCode.get( locationCode );
-        WeatherData weather = null;
-        try
-        {
-            weather = new WeatherData( feedSource );
-            weatherDataByIataCode.put( locationCode, weather );
-        }
-        catch ( IllegalArgumentException | IOException | FeedException e )
-        {
-            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-            logger.error( "Error opening RSS feed" );
-        }
-        return weather;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Stores weather data from http://weather.gc.ca/rss/city/* rss feeds flexibly.
-     */
-    private class WeatherData
-    {
-        private final Pattern alertIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_w[0-9]+:[0-9]{14}$" );
-
-        private final Pattern currentConditionsIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_cc:[0-9]{14}$" );
-
-        private final Pattern forecastIDPattern = Pattern.compile( ".*_fc[0-9]:[0-9]{14}$" );
-
-        private final LinkedList<String> alerts;
-
-        private final LinkedHashMap<String, String> currentConditions;
-
-        private final LinkedHashMap<String, String> forecast;
-
-        private final Date creationTime;
-
-        WeatherData( URL feedSource )
-            throws IOException, IllegalArgumentException, FeedException
-        {
-            alerts = new LinkedList<>();
-            forecast = new LinkedHashMap<>();
-            currentConditions = new LinkedHashMap<>();
-            creationTime = new Date();
-
-            try ( XmlReader reader = new XmlReader( feedSource ) )
-            {
-                SyndFeedInput input = new SyndFeedInput();
-                SyndFeed feed = input.build( reader );
-
-                for ( Object rawEntry : feed.getEntries() )
-                {
-                    if ( rawEntry instanceof SyndEntry )
-                    {
-                        SyndEntry entry = (SyndEntry) rawEntry;
-
-                        if ( alertIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
-                        {
-                            String desc = entry.getDescription().getValue();
-                            if ( !desc.equals( "No watches or warnings in effect." ) )
-                            {
-                                alerts.add( desc );
-                            }
-                        }
-                        else if ( currentConditionsIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
-                        {
-                            String desc = entry.getDescription().getValue();
-                            desc = desc.replaceAll( "<[a-zA-Z/]+>", "" );
-                            desc = desc.replace( "&#176;", "°" );
-                            for ( String line : desc.split( "\n" ) )
-                            {
-                                int sepPos = line.indexOf( ':' );
-                                currentConditions.put( line.substring( 0, sepPos ),
-                                                       line.substring( sepPos + 1 ).trim() );
-                            }
-                        }
-                        else if ( forecastIDPattern.matcher( entry.getUri() ).matches() )
-                        {
-                            String title = entry.getTitle();
-                            int sepPos = title.indexOf( ':' );
-                            forecast.put( title.substring( 0, sepPos ), title.substring( sepPos + 1 ).trim() );
-                        }
-                    }
-                }
-            }
-        }
-
-        LinkedList<String> getAlerts()
-        {
-            return alerts;
-        }
-
-        LinkedHashMap<String, String> getCurrentConditions()
-        {
-            return currentConditions;
-        }
-
-        LinkedHashMap<String, String> getForecast()
-        {
-            return forecast;
-        }
-
-        Date getCreationDate()
-        {
-            return creationTime;
-        }
-
-        @Override
-        public String toString()
-        {
-            return "WeatherData [alerts=" + alerts + ", currentConditions=" + currentConditions + ", forecast="
-                + forecast + ", creationTime=" + creationTime + "]";
-        }
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JokesService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/QuitService.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
index e5196d8d..b85adc68 100644
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
+++ b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ASCII.java
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import java.awt.Color;
+import java.awt.*;
 import java.awt.image.BufferedImage;
 
 /*Copyright (c) 2011 Aravind Rao
@@ -22,19 +22,12 @@
 
 public final class ASCII
 {
-    private boolean negative;
-
-    public ASCII()
-    {
-        this( false );
-    }
-
-    public ASCII( final boolean negative )
+    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image )
     {
-        this.negative = negative;
+        return convert( image, false );
     }
 
-    public String convert( final BufferedImage image )
+    public static String convert( final BufferedImage image, boolean negative )
     {
         StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder( ( image.getWidth() + 1 ) * image.getHeight() );
         for ( int y = 0; y < image.getHeight(); y++ )
@@ -61,7 +54,7 @@ public String convert( final BufferedImage image )
      * @param g grayscale
      * @return char
      */
-    private char returnStrPos( double g )// takes the grayscale value as parameter
+    private static char returnStrPos( double g )// takes the grayscale value as parameter
     {
         final char str;
 
@@ -111,7 +104,7 @@ else if ( g >= 50.0 )
      * @param g grayscale
      * @return char
      */
-    private char returnStrNeg( double g )
+    private static char returnStrNeg( double g )
     {
         final char str;
 
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNick.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNick.java
deleted file mode 100644
index c8237d6b..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNick.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,60 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.util.HashSet;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-public class BaseNick
-{
-    // This would grab the leading x out of a nick that actually contains it
-    private static Pattern nickPattern = Pattern.compile( "(?:x|)([a-zA-Z0-9]+)(?:\\p{Punct}+[a-zA-Z0-9]*|)" );
-
-    private static String primaryBotNick;
-
-    private static Set<String> allBotNicks = new HashSet<>();
-
-    public static String toBaseNick( String nick )
-    {
-        if ( allBotNicks.contains( nick ) )
-        {
-            nick = primaryBotNick;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            Matcher nickMatcher = nickPattern.matcher( nick );
-
-            if ( nickMatcher.find() )
-            {
-                return nickMatcher.group( 1 );
-            }
-        }
-        return nick;
-    }
-
-    public static String getPrimaryBotNick()
-    {
-        return primaryBotNick;
-    }
-
-    public static void setPrimaryBotNick( String primaryNick )
-    {
-        primaryBotNick = primaryNick;
-    }
-
-    public static Set<String> getBotNicks()
-    {
-        return allBotNicks;
-    }
-
-    public static void addBotNick( String nick )
-    {
-        allBotNicks.add( nick );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/CharactersThatBreakEclipse.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ConfMap.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ConfMap.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 2532bdaa..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/ConfMap.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,199 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.io.BufferedReader;
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.nio.charset.Charset;
-import java.nio.file.Files;
-import java.nio.file.Path;
-import java.util.AbstractMap;
-import java.util.LinkedHashSet;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-import java.util.regex.Pattern;
-
-/**
- * Provides a simple, one-file, read-only, text config file reader, under the Map interface. The default file format can
- * be found in {@link ConfMap.DefaultConfParser}.
- * 
- * @see {@link ConfMap.DefaultConfParser}
- * @see {@link ConfMap.ConfParser}
- */
-public class ConfMap
-    extends AbstractMap<String, String>
-{
-    /**
-     * Interface used to parse a conf file to an entry set.
-     */
-    public static interface ConfParser
-    {
-        Set<Entry<String, String>> parse( BufferedReader reader )
-            throws IOException;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * The default implementation of the ConfParser interface. Supports lines of the following format:
-     * <p>
-     * <code>key=value</code>
-     * </p>
-     * Leading and trailing whitespace on both key and value is trimmed. Keys may not contain the separator character,
-     * equals ( = ). Keys must be at least 1 character long once trimmed. Values may be blank (which results in the
-     * value being an empty String).
-     * 
-     * @see {@link ConfMap.ConfParser}
-     */
-    public static class DefaultConfParser
-        implements ConfParser
-    {
-        private static final String SEP = "=";
-
-        private static final Pattern linePattern =
-            Pattern.compile( "\\s*([^" + SEP + "\\s]+)\\s*" + SEP + "\\s*(.*?)\\s*" );
-
-        @Override
-        public Set<Entry<String, String>> parse( BufferedReader reader )
-            throws IOException
-        {
-            LinkedHashSet<Entry<String, String>> entrySet = new LinkedHashSet<>();
-
-            String line;
-            while ( ( line = reader.readLine() ) != null )
-            {
-                Matcher matcher = linePattern.matcher( line );
-
-                if ( matcher.matches() )
-                {
-                    String key = matcher.group( 1 );
-                    String value = matcher.group( 2 );
-
-                    entrySet.add( new SimpleEntry<>( key, value ) );
-                }
-            }
-
-            return entrySet;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private final Set<Entry<String, String>> entries;
-
-    /**
-     * Create a ConfMap with the default UTF-8 charset.
-     * 
-     * @param confFile Path to a configuration file in a valid format.
-     * @throws IOException If an I/O error occurs with confFile
-     */
-    public ConfMap( Path confFile )
-        throws IOException
-    {
-        this( confFile, Charset.forName( "UTF-8" ) );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Create a ConfMap with a custom charset, but the default ConfParser.
-     * 
-     * @param confFile Path to a configuration file in a valid format.
-     * @param charset The character set confFile is in.
-     * @throws IOException If an I/O error occurs with confFile
-     */
-    public ConfMap( Path confFile, Charset charset )
-        throws IOException
-    {
-        this( confFile, charset, new DefaultConfParser() );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Create a ConfMap with a custom charset and a custom ConfParser.
-     * 
-     * @param confFile Path to a configuration file in a valid format.
-     * @param charset The character set confFile is in.
-     * @param parser The parser to use against confFile's text data.
-     * @throws IOException If an I/O error occurs with confFile
-     */
-    public ConfMap( Path confFile, Charset charset, ConfParser parser )
-        throws IOException
-    {
-        if ( !Files.exists( confFile ) )
-            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "confFile ( " + confFile + " ) does not point to an existing target." );
-        if ( !Files.isRegularFile( confFile ) )
-            throw new IllegalArgumentException( "confFile ( " + confFile + " ) points to an existing target, "
-                + "but this target is not a regular file." );
-
-        // Create a BufferedReader from the Path and Charset, then pass to the ConfParser
-        try ( BufferedReader reader = Files.newBufferedReader( confFile, charset ) )
-        {
-            this.entries = parser.parse( reader );
-        }
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Create a ConfMap with the default UTF-8 charset, but a custom ConfParser.
-     * 
-     * @param confFile Path to a configuration file in a valid format.
-     * @param parser The parser to use against confFile's text data.
-     * @throws IOException If an I/O error occurs with confFile
-     */
-    public ConfMap( Path confFile, ConfParser parser )
-        throws IOException
-    {
-        this( confFile, Charset.forName( "UTF-8" ), parser );
-    }
-
-    @Override
-    public Set<Entry<String, String>> entrySet()
-    {
-        return entries;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * @throws RuntimeException if key does not exist
-     */
-    @Override
-    public String get( Object key )
-    {
-        String ret = super.get( key );
-        if ( ret == null )
-        {
-            throw new RuntimeException( "Configuration key '" + key + "' does not exist." );
-        }
-        return ret;
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Cannot be used.
-     * 
-     * @throws UnsupportedOperationException always
-     */
-    @Override
-    public String put( String key, String value )
-    {
-        throw new UnsupportedOperationException( "ConfMaps cannot be written to." );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Cannot be used.
-     * 
-     * @throws UnsupportedOperationException always
-     */
-    @Override
-    public void putAll( Map<? extends String, ? extends String> m )
-    {
-        throw new UnsupportedOperationException( "ConfMaps cannot be written to." );
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Cannot be used.
-     * 
-     * @throws UnsupportedOperationException always
-     */
-    @Override
-    public String remove( Object key )
-    {
-        throw new UnsupportedOperationException( "ConfMaps cannot be written to." );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
index cc4803c9..0716adbe 100644
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
+++ b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/HMAC.java
@@ -6,13 +6,14 @@
  */
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
+import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
+import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
 
 import javax.crypto.Mac;
 import javax.crypto.spec.SecretKeySpec;
-import java.security.InvalidKeyException;
-import java.security.NoSuchAlgorithmException;
+
+import org.slf4j.Logger;
+import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
 
 public class HMAC
 {
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Ignore.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Ignore.java
deleted file mode 100644
index fc3904c8..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Ignore.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,37 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2013 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.util.Set;
-import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentSkipListSet;
-
-public class Ignore
-{
-    private static Set<String> onJoin = new ConcurrentSkipListSet<String>();
-
-    private static Set<String> autoOp = new ConcurrentSkipListSet<String>();
-
-    public static Set<String> getOnJoin()
-    {
-        return onJoin;
-    }
-
-    public static Set<String> getAutoOp()
-    {
-        return autoOp;
-    }
-
-    public static void addOnJoin( String nick )
-    {
-        onJoin.add( nick );
-    }
-
-    public static void addAutoOp( String channel )
-    {
-        autoOp.add( channel );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/IgnoredUsers.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/InetAddressProvider.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitCommand.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitCommand.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 4136b783..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitCommand.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,92 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.util.HashMap;
-import java.util.Map;
-import java.util.Timer;
-import java.util.TimerTask;
-
-public class LimitCommand
-{
-    private Map<String, Integer> usesUserMap = new HashMap<>();
-
-    private int maxUsesPerPeriod = 2;
-
-    private int timePeriodSeconds = 300;
-
-    private static final String OKAY_STRING = " has less than the maximum uses";
-
-    private static final String NOT_OKAY_STRING = " has the maximum uses";
-
-    public LimitCommand()
-    {
-    }
-
-    public LimitCommand( int maxUsesPerPeriod, int timePeriodSeconds )
-    {
-        this.maxUsesPerPeriod = maxUsesPerPeriod;
-        this.timePeriodSeconds = timePeriodSeconds;
-    }
-
-    public int getMaxUses()
-    {
-        return maxUsesPerPeriod;
-    }
-
-    public int getPeriodSeconds()
-    {
-        return timePeriodSeconds;
-    }
-
-    public String addUse( String user )
-    {
-        Timer timer = new Timer();
-        if ( !usesUserMap.containsKey( user ) )
-        {
-            usesUserMap.put( user, 0 );
-        }
-        int uses = getUses( user );
-        if ( uses < maxUsesPerPeriod )
-        {
-            timer.schedule( createTimerTask( user ), timePeriodSeconds * 1000 );
-            uses++;
-            usesUserMap.put( user, uses );
-            return "";
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return user + NOT_OKAY_STRING;
-        }
-    }
-
-    public int getUses( String user )
-    {
-        return usesUserMap.get( user );
-    }
-
-    public String checkUses( String user )
-    {
-        int uses = getUses( user );
-        if ( uses < maxUsesPerPeriod )
-        {
-            return user + OKAY_STRING;
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            return user + NOT_OKAY_STRING;
-        }
-    }
-
-    private TimerTask createTimerTask( final String user )
-    {
-        return new TimerTask()
-        {
-            @Override
-            public void run()
-            {
-                int amountOfUses = usesUserMap.get( user );
-                amountOfUses--;
-                usesUserMap.put( user, amountOfUses );
-            }
-        };
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceImpl.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
index fd3f284e..dbff1090 100644
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
+++ b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicks.java
@@ -1,55 +1,35 @@
 package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
 
-import com.google.common.collect.ImmutableSortedSet;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.PrivateMessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ChannelEvent;
 
+import java.util.Collection;
+import java.util.Collections;
 import java.util.Objects;
+import java.util.stream.Collectors;
 
-/**
- * Reverse all nicks in messages
- */
 public class MangleNicks
 {
 
-    public static String mangleNicks( MessageEvent event, String message )
+    public static String mangleNicks( ChannelEvent event, String message )
     {
-        return mangleNicks( event.getChannel().getUsersNicks(), message );
+        return mangleNicks( event.getChannel().getUsers().stream().map( Nick::getNick ).map( Nick::getFullNick ).collect( Collectors.toList() ),
+                            message );
     }
 
-    public static String mangleNicks( JoinEvent event, String message )
+    public static String mangleNicks( ActorEvent<User> event, String message )
     {
-        return mangleNicks( event.getChannel().getUsersNicks(), message );
-    }
-
-    public static String mangleNicks( PrivateMessageEvent event, String message )
-    {
-        return mangleNicks( ImmutableSortedSet.of( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getUser() ).getNick() ), message );
-    }
-
-    public static String mangleNicks( GenericMessageEvent event, String message )
-    {
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent )
-        {
-            return mangleNicks( (MessageEvent) event, message );
-        }
-        else if ( event instanceof JoinEvent )
-        {
-            return mangleNicks( (JoinEvent) event, message );
-        }
-        else if ( event instanceof PrivateMessageEvent )
-        {
-            return mangleNicks( (PrivateMessageEvent) event, message );
-        }
-        else
+        // Delegate to Channel if possible
+        if ( event instanceof ChannelEvent )
         {
-            return mangleNicks( ImmutableSortedSet.of(), message );
+            return mangleNicks( (ChannelEvent) event, message );
         }
+        return mangleNicks( Collections.singleton( Objects.requireNonNull( event.getActor() ).getNick() ), message );
     }
 
-    private static String mangleNicks( ImmutableSortedSet<String> nicks, String message )
+    private static String mangleNicks( Collection<String> nicks, String message )
     {
 
         if ( nicks.isEmpty() )
@@ -71,7 +51,7 @@ private static String mangled( String word )
         return new StringBuilder( word ).reverse().toString();
     }
 
-    private static boolean inside( ImmutableSortedSet<String> nicks, String word )
+    private static boolean inside( Collection<String> nicks, String word )
     {
         for ( String nick : nicks )
         {
@@ -82,4 +62,4 @@ private static boolean inside( ImmutableSortedSet<String> nicks, String word )
         }
         return false;
     }
-}
\ No newline at end of file
+}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/NewsParser.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/NewsParser.java
deleted file mode 100644
index ce3e678c..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/NewsParser.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,107 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2019 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndEntry;
-import com.sun.syndication.feed.synd.SyndFeed;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.FeedException;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.SyndFeedInput;
-import com.sun.syndication.io.XmlReader;
-import org.apache.commons.lang3.tuple.ImmutablePair;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.ListenerAdapter;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.types.GenericMessageEvent;
-import org.slf4j.Logger;
-import org.slf4j.LoggerFactory;
-
-import java.io.IOException;
-import java.net.URL;
-import java.util.LinkedHashMap;
-import java.util.List;
-import java.util.regex.Matcher;
-
-public abstract class NewsParser
-    extends ListenerAdapter
-{
-    private static final Logger logger = LoggerFactory.getLogger( NewsParser.class );
-
-    protected static final int NUM_HEADLINES = 3;
-
-    protected void currentNews( GenericMessageEvent event, Matcher matcher,
-                                LinkedHashMap<String, ImmutablePair<String, URL>> newsFeedsByCategory,
-                                String defaultCategory, String helpCommand, LimitCommand limitCommand,
-                                String restrictedChannel, Logger logger )
-    {
-        String category = matcher.group( 1 ); // The news category
-
-        category = ( category != null ) ? category.toLowerCase() : defaultCategory;
-
-        if ( newsFeedsByCategory.containsKey( category ) )
-        {
-            newsLimit( event, newsFeedsByCategory, category, logger, limitCommand, restrictedChannel );
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            event.respondWith( "No news feed available for " + category + ". Try " + helpCommand
-                + " for available news categories." );
-        }
-    }
-
-    protected void newsLimit( GenericMessageEvent event,
-                              LinkedHashMap<String, ImmutablePair<String, URL>> newsFeedsByCategory, String category,
-                              Logger logger, LimitCommand limitCommand, String restrictedChannel )
-    {
-        if ( event instanceof MessageEvent
-            && ( (MessageEvent) event ).getChannel().getName().equals( restrictedChannel ) )
-        {
-            String isLimit = limitCommand.addUse( event.getUser().getNick() );
-            if ( isLimit.isEmpty() )
-            {
-                printHeadlines( event, newsFeedsByCategory, category, logger );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                event.respondWith( isLimit );
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            printHeadlines( event, newsFeedsByCategory, category, logger );
-        }
-    }
-
-    protected void printHeadlines( GenericMessageEvent event,
-                                   LinkedHashMap<String, ImmutablePair<String, URL>> newsFeedsByCategory,
-                                   String category, Logger logger )
-    {
-        SyndFeedInput input = new SyndFeedInput();
-        SyndFeed feed = null;
-
-        try
-        {
-            feed = input.build( new XmlReader( newsFeedsByCategory.get( category ).getRight() ) );
-        }
-        catch ( FeedException | IOException e )
-        {
-            String errorMsg = "Error opening RSS feed";
-            logger.error( e.getMessage() );
-            logger.error( errorMsg );
-            event.respondWith( errorMsg );
-        }
-
-        List<SyndEntry> entries = feed.getEntries();
-
-        for ( int i = 0; i < NUM_HEADLINES; i++ )
-        {
-            event.respondWith( Colors.bold( "  " + entries.get( i ).getTitle() ) + " -> "
-                + entries.get( i ).getLink() );
-        }
-    }
-
-    protected abstract String generateHelpMessage();
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/RandomProvider.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/SessionService.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Sessions.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Sessions.java
deleted file mode 100644
index e58c059d..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/Sessions.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,115 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-import java.util.Map.Entry;
-import java.util.concurrent.ConcurrentHashMap;
-
-/**
- * Provides record-keeping for time limited sessions.
- */
-public class Sessions
-{
-    private static class SessionEntry
-    {
-        private final long expiryMillis;
-
-        private final String username;
-
-        SessionEntry( String username, long expiryMillis )
-        {
-            this.username = username;
-            this.expiryMillis = expiryMillis;
-        }
-
-        long getExpiryMillis()
-        {
-            return expiryMillis;
-        }
-
-        String getUsername()
-        {
-            return username;
-        }
-
-        boolean isExpired()
-        {
-            return getExpiryMillis() < System.currentTimeMillis();
-        }
-
-        @Override
-        public String toString()
-        {
-            return "SessionEntry [expiryMillis=" + expiryMillis + ", username=" + username + "]";
-        }
-    }
-
-    private static final int MASS_CLEANUP_THRESHOLD = 10;
-
-    private static int queryCount = 0;
-
-    private static final ConcurrentHashMap<String, SessionEntry> sessions = new ConcurrentHashMap<>();
-
-    /**
-     * Create a session mapping a ircNick to an internal username, with a certain expiry time.
-     * 
-     * @param ircNick The active identification of the user on IRC
-     * @param username The user name to permit them to use
-     * @param sessionlength The time in milliseconds until the session expires
-     */
-    public static void addSession( String ircNick, String username, long sessionlength )
-    {
-        long nowMillis = System.currentTimeMillis();
-        sessions.put( ircNick, new SessionEntry( username, nowMillis + sessionlength ) );
-    }
-
-    private static void cleanup()
-    {
-        if ( queryCount > MASS_CLEANUP_THRESHOLD )
-        {
-            queryCount = 0;
-            for ( Entry<String, SessionEntry> sessionEntry : sessions.entrySet() )
-            {
-                String nick = sessionEntry.getKey();
-                SessionEntry session = sessionEntry.getValue();
-
-                if ( session.isExpired() )
-                {
-                    sessions.remove( nick );
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        else
-        {
-            queryCount++;
-        }
-
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Check for a valid session registered to the given nick.
-     * 
-     * @param ircNick The active identification of the user on IRC
-     * @return If a valid session exists, the username the session is for. Otherwise, null.
-     */
-    public static String getSession( String ircNick )
-    {
-        String username = null;
-
-        SessionEntry session = sessions.get( ircNick );
-
-        if ( session != null )
-        {
-            if ( !session.isExpired() )
-            {
-                username = session.getUsername();
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                sessions.remove( ircNick );
-            }
-        }
-
-        cleanup();
-
-        return username;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/StringUtil.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/StringUtil.java
deleted file mode 100644
index ea9159ed..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/StringUtil.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,29 +0,0 @@
-package com.oldterns.vilebot.util;
-
-public class StringUtil
-{
-
-    private StringUtil()
-    {
-    }
-
-    /**
-     * Capitalizes the first letter of the message and returns the result. If the argument is null, then null is
-     * returned. If the first letter is capitalized this will return an identical string. If the string is empty then it
-     * will return the same empty string back.
-     * 
-     * @param message The message to convert.
-     * @return The converted message, or null if the argument is null.
-     */
-    public static final String capitalizeFirstLetter( String message )
-    {
-        if ( message == null || message.length() == 0 )
-        {
-            return message;
-        }
-
-        char firstUpperCaseLetter = Character.toUpperCase( message.charAt( 0 ) );
-        String remainderOfMessage = message.substring( 1 );
-        return firstUpperCaseLetter + remainderOfMessage;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TimeServiceImpl.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TwitterServiceImpl.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactory.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
rename to vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/URLFactoryImpl.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/application.properties
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt b/vilebot/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/fontlist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt b/vilebot/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/fortunelist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt b/vilebot/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt b/vilebot/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/inspirationslist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv b/vilebot/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt b/vilebot/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/main/resources/wordlist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/AbstractDatabaseTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ChurchDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/ExcuseDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/GroupDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/KarmaDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LastSeenDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/LogDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/PasswordDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/QuoteFactDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/database/UserlistDBTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AnswerQuestionServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/AsciiServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChatLoggerServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ChurchServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/CountdownServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DecideServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/DownOrJustMeServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ExcusesServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/FortuneServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/GetInfoOnServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ImageToAsciiServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/InspirationServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/JazizServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KaomojiServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaRollServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/KarmaTransferServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastMessageSedServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/LastSeenServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/NewsServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/OmgwordServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/QuotesAndFactsServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RemindMeServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/RockPaperScissorsServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/SummonServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TriviaServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TtcServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/TwitterCorrectionServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTitleAnnouncerServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UrlTweetAnnouncerServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserListServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/UserPingServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/WeatherServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminManagementServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AdminPingServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/AuthServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/GetLogServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/NickChangeServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/admin/OpsServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/LimitServiceTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/MockClientCreator.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestLimitService.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestURLFactory.java
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
rename to vilebot/src/test/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/util/TestUrlStreamHandler.java
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/AsciiTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/AsciiTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 7e93150e..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/AsciiTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,249 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Ascii;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class AsciiTest
-{
-
-    private Ascii asciiClass = new Ascii();
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    @Before
-    public void setSenderAndChannel()
-    {
-        asciiClass.limitCommand = new LimitCommand( 9, 3600 );
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "salman" );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( "#thefoobar" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void singleLineDefaultFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii #thefoobar";
-        String expectedReply = "    _  _     _     _               __                   _                    \n"
-            + "  _| || |_  | |_  | |__     ___   / _|   ___     ___   | |__     __ _   _ __ \n"
-            + " |_  ..  _| | __| | '_ \\   / _ \\ | |_   / _ \\   / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` | | '__|\n"
-            + " |_      _| | |_  | | | | |  __/ |  _| | (_) | | (_) | | |_) | | (_| | | |   \n"
-            + "   |_||_|    \\__| |_| |_|  \\___| |_|    \\___/   \\___/  |_.__/   \\__,_| |_|   \n"
-            + "                                                                             \n";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void singleLineGraffitiFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii graffiti #thefoobar";
-        String expectedReply = "   _  _     __   .__               _____                 ___.                    \n"
-            + "__| || |___/  |_ |  |__    ____  _/ ____\\  ____    ____  \\_ |__  _____   _______ \n"
-            + "\\   __   /\\   __\\|  |  \\ _/ __ \\ \\   __\\  /  _ \\  /  _ \\  | __ \\ \\__  \\  \\_  __ \\\n"
-            + " |  ||  |  |  |  |   Y  \\\\  ___/  |  |   (  <_> )(  <_> ) | \\_\\ \\ / __ \\_ |  | \\/\n"
-            + "/_  ~~  _\\ |__|  |___|  / \\___  > |__|    \\____/  \\____/  |___  /(____  / |__|   \n"
-            + "  |_||_|              \\/      \\/                              \\/      \\/         \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void multiLineDefaultFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii is this message long enough??";
-        String expectedReply =
-            "  _           _     _       _                                                                   _                         \n"
-                + " (_)  ___    | |_  | |__   (_)  ___     _ __ ___     ___   ___   ___    __ _    __ _    ___    | |   ___    _ __     __ _ \n"
-                + " | | / __|   | __| | '_ \\  | | / __|   | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ / __| / __|  / _` |  / _` |  / _ \\   | |  / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` |\n"
-                + " | | \\__ \\   | |_  | | | | | | \\__ \\   | | | | | | |  __/ \\__ \\ \\__ \\ | (_| | | (_| | |  __/   | | | (_) | | | | | | (_| |\n"
-                + " |_| |___/    \\__| |_| |_| |_| |___/   |_| |_| |_|  \\___| |___/ |___/  \\__,_|  \\__, |  \\___|   |_|  \\___/  |_| |_|  \\__, |\n"
-                + "                                                                               |___/                                |___/ \n"
-                + "                                           _       ___   ___ \n"
-                + "     ___   _ __     ___    _   _    __ _  | |__   |__ \\ |__ \\\n"
-                + "    / _ \\ | '_ \\   / _ \\  | | | |  / _` | | '_ \\    / /   / /\n"
-                + "   |  __/ | | | | | (_) | | |_| | | (_| | | | | |  |_|   |_| \n"
-                + "    \\___| |_| |_|  \\___/   \\__,_|  \\__, | |_| |_|  (_)   (_) \n"
-                + "                                   |___/                     \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void multiLineGraffitiFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii graffiti is this message long enough??";
-        String expectedReply =
-            ".__            __   .__     .__                                                                     .__                            \n"
-                + "|__|  ______ _/  |_ |  |__  |__|  ______   _____    ____    ______  ___________      ____    ____   |  |    ____    ____     ____  \n"
-                + "|  | /  ___/ \\   __\\|  |  \\ |  | /  ___/  /     \\ _/ __ \\  /  ___/ /  ___/\\__  \\    / ___\\ _/ __ \\  |  |   /  _ \\  /    \\   / ___\\ \n"
-                + "|  | \\___ \\   |  |  |   Y  \\|  | \\___ \\  |  Y Y  \\\\  ___/  \\___ \\  \\___ \\  / __ \\_ / /_/  >\\  ___/  |  |__(  <_> )|   |  \\ / /_/  >\n"
-                + "|__|/____  >  |__|  |___|  /|__|/____  > |__|_|  / \\___  >/____  >/____  >(____  / \\___  /  \\___  > |____/ \\____/ |___|  / \\___  / \n"
-                + "         \\/              \\/          \\/        \\/      \\/      \\/      \\/      \\/ /_____/       \\/                     \\/ /_____/  \n"
-                + "                                         .__     _________ _________ \n"
-                + "   ____    ____    ____   __ __    ____  |  |__  \\_____   \\\\_____   \\\n"
-                + " _/ __ \\  /    \\  /  _ \\ |  |  \\  / ___\\ |  |  \\    /   __/   /   __/\n"
-                + " \\  ___/ |   |  \\(  <_> )|  |  / / /_/  >|   Y  \\  |   |     |   |   \n"
-                + "  \\___  >|___|  / \\____/ |____/  \\___  / |___|  /  |___|     |___|   \n"
-                + "      \\/      \\/                /_____/       \\/   <___>     <___>   \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void multiLineWordBreakDefaultFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii how long is this message now??";
-        String expectedReply =
-            "  _                            _                             _           _     _       _                                          \n"
-                + " | |__     ___   __      __   | |   ___    _ __     __ _    (_)  ___    | |_  | |__   (_)  ___     _ __ ___     ___   ___         \n"
-                + " | '_ \\   / _ \\  \\ \\ /\\ / /   | |  / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` |   | | / __|   | __| | '_ \\  | | / __|   | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ / __|  _____ \n"
-                + " | | | | | (_) |  \\ V  V /    | | | (_) | | | | | | (_| |   | | \\__ \\   | |_  | | | | | | \\__ \\   | | | | | | |  __/ \\__ \\ |_____|\n"
-                + " |_| |_|  \\___/    \\_/\\_/     |_|  \\___/  |_| |_|  \\__, |   |_| |___/    \\__| |_| |_| |_| |___/   |_| |_| |_|  \\___| |___/        \n"
-                + "                                                   |___/                                                                          \n"
-                + "                                                            ___   ___ \n"
-                + "  ___    __ _    __ _    ___     _ __     ___   __      __ |__ \\ |__ \\\n"
-                + " / __|  / _` |  / _` |  / _ \\   | '_ \\   / _ \\  \\ \\ /\\ / /   / /   / /\n"
-                + " \\__ \\ | (_| | | (_| | |  __/   | | | | | (_) |  \\ V  V /   |_|   |_| \n"
-                + " |___/  \\__,_|  \\__, |  \\___|   |_| |_|  \\___/    \\_/\\_/    (_)   (_) \n"
-                + "                |___/                                                 \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void multiLineWordBreakGraffitiFontTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii graffiti how long is this message now??";
-        String expectedReply =
-            ".__                       .__                             .__            __   .__     .__                                            \n"
-                + "|  |__    ____  __  _  __ |  |    ____    ____     ____   |__|  ______ _/  |_ |  |__  |__|  ______   _____    ____    ______         \n"
-                + "|  |  \\  /  _ \\ \\ \\/ \\/ / |  |   /  _ \\  /    \\   / ___\\  |  | /  ___/ \\   __\\|  |  \\ |  | /  ___/  /     \\ _/ __ \\  /  ___/  ______ \n"
-                + "|   Y  \\(  <_> ) \\     /  |  |__(  <_> )|   |  \\ / /_/  > |  | \\___ \\   |  |  |   Y  \\|  | \\___ \\  |  Y Y  \\\\  ___/  \\___ \\  /_____/ \n"
-                + "|___|  / \\____/   \\/\\_/   |____/ \\____/ |___|  / \\___  /  |__|/____  >  |__|  |___|  /|__|/____  > |__|_|  / \\___  >/____  >         \n"
-                + "     \\/                                      \\/ /_____/            \\/              \\/          \\/        \\/      \\/      \\/          \n"
-                + "                                                           _________ _________ \n"
-                + "  ___________      ____    ____     ____    ____  __  _  __\\_____   \\\\_____   \\\n"
-                + " /  ___/\\__  \\    / ___\\ _/ __ \\   /    \\  /  _ \\ \\ \\/ \\/ /   /   __/   /   __/\n"
-                + " \\___ \\  / __ \\_ / /_/  >\\  ___/  |   |  \\(  <_> ) \\     /   |   |     |   |   \n"
-                + "/____  >(____  / \\___  /  \\___  > |___|  / \\____/   \\/\\_/    |___|     |___|   \n"
-                + "     \\/      \\/ /_____/       \\/       \\/                    <___>     <___>   \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void superLongMessageTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg =
-            "!ascii Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Etiam vitae erat ut dui varius sodales sed.";
-        String expectedReply =
-            "  _                                           _                                           _           _                          _         \n"
-                + " | |       ___    _ __    ___   _ __ ___     (_)  _ __    ___   _   _   _ __ ___       __| |   ___   | |   ___    _ __     ___  (_)        \n"
-                + " | |      / _ \\  | '__|  / _ \\ | '_ ` _ \\    | | | '_ \\  / __| | | | | | '_ ` _ \\     / _` |  / _ \\  | |  / _ \\  | '__|   / __| | |  _____ \n"
-                + " | |___  | (_) | | |    |  __/ | | | | | |   | | | |_) | \\__ \\ | |_| | | | | | | |   | (_| | | (_) | | | | (_) | | |      \\__ \\ | | |_____|\n"
-                + " |_____|  \\___/  |_|     \\___| |_| |_| |_|   |_| | .__/  |___/  \\__,_| |_| |_| |_|    \\__,_|  \\___/  |_|  \\___/  |_|      |___/ |_|        \n"
-                + "                                                 |_|                                                                                       \n"
-                + "  _                                  _                                                      _            _                    \n"
-                + " | |_      __ _   _ __ ___     ___  | |_          ___    ___    _ __    ___    ___    ___  | |_    ___  | |_   _   _   _ __   \n"
-                + " | __|    / _` | | '_ ` _ \\   / _ \\ | __|        / __|  / _ \\  | '_ \\  / __|  / _ \\  / __| | __|  / _ \\ | __| | | | | | '__|  \n"
-                + " | |_    | (_| | | | | | | | |  __/ | |_   _    | (__  | (_) | | | | | \\__ \\ |  __/ | (__  | |_  |  __/ | |_  | |_| | | |     \n"
-                + "  \\__|    \\__,_| |_| |_| |_|  \\___|  \\__| ( )    \\___|  \\___/  |_| |_| |___/  \\___|  \\___|  \\__|  \\___|  \\__|  \\__,_| |_|     \n"
-                + "                                          |/                                                                                  \n"
-                + "              _   _           _                _                            _   _   _           _____   _     _ \n"
-                + "   __ _    __| | (_)  _ __   (_)  ___    ___  (_)  _ __     __ _      ___  | | (_) | |_        | ____| | |_  (_)\n"
-                + "  / _` |  / _` | | | | '_ \\  | | / __|  / __| | | | '_ \\   / _` |    / _ \\ | | | | | __|       |  _|   | __| | |\n"
-                + " | (_| | | (_| | | | | |_) | | | \\__ \\ | (__  | | | | | | | (_| |   |  __/ | | | | | |_   _    | |___  | |_  | |\n"
-                + "  \\__,_|  \\__,_| |_| | .__/  |_| |___/  \\___| |_| |_| |_|  \\__, |    \\___| |_| |_|  \\__| (_)   |_____|  \\__| |_|\n"
-                + "                     |_|                                   |___/                                                \n";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void asciifontsTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!asciifonts";
-        String expectedReply = "Available fonts for !ascii:\n"
-            + "                 3-d                  3x5         5lineoblique            acrobatic            alligator \n"
-            + "          alligator2             alphabet               avatar              banner3            banner3-D \n"
-            + "             banner4             barbwire                basic                 bell                  big \n"
-            + "            bigchief               binary                block               bubble             bulbhead \n"
-            + "            calgphy2           caligraphy              catwalk               chunky             coinstak \n"
-            + "            colossal             computer             contessa             contrast               cosmic \n"
-            + "             cosmike              cricket              cursive           cyberlarge          cybermedium \n"
-            + "          cybersmall              diamond              digital                  doh                 doom \n"
-            + "           dotmatrix             drpepper            eftichess             eftifont             eftipiti \n"
-            + "           eftirobot            eftitalic             eftiwall            eftiwater                 epic \n"
-            + "              fender             fourtops                fuzzy                goofy               gothic \n"
-            + "            graffiti            hollywood               invita           isometric1           isometric2 \n"
-            + "          isometric3           isometric4               italic                ivrit              jazmine \n"
-            + "           jerusalem             katakana                 kban              larry3d                  lcd \n"
-            + "                lean              letters                linux          lockergnome               madrid \n"
-            + "             marquee              maxfour                 mike                 mini               mirror \n"
-            + "            mnemonic                morse               moscow               nancyj         nancyj-fancy \n"
-            + "   nancyj-underlined              nipples              ntgreek                   o8                 ogre \n"
-            + "                pawp                peaks              pebbles               pepper               poison \n"
-            + "               puffy              pyramid           rectangles               relief              relief2 \n"
-            + "                 rev                roman                rot13              rounded             rowancap \n"
-            + "               rozzo                runic                runyc               sblood               script \n"
-            + "            serifcap               shadow                short                slant                slide \n"
-            + "            slscript                small             smisome1           smkeyboard             smscript \n"
-            + "            smshadow              smslant            smtengwar                speed          stampatello \n"
-            + "            standard             starwars              stellar                 stop             straight \n"
-            + "               tanja              tengwar                 term                thick                 thin \n"
-            + "          threepoint                ticks           ticksslant           tinker-toy            tombstone \n"
-            + "                trek              tsalagi             twopoint              usaflag                weird \n";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/CountdownTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/CountdownTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index bab10582..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/CountdownTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,125 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Countdown;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.BufferedReader;
-import java.io.File;
-import java.io.FileReader;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
-
-public class CountdownTest
-{
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    private Channel channel;
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE = "cfg/vilebot.conf";
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY = "cfg/vilebot.conf.example";
-
-    private static final String RED = "\u000304";
-
-    private static final String RESET = "\u000f";
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( getCountdownChannel() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidChannelTest()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!countdown" );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( "INVALID CHANNEL" );
-
-        Countdown countdown = new Countdown();
-        countdown.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "To play Countdown join: " + getCountdownChannel() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void submissionWithNoActiveGameTest()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!solution 0" );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-
-        Countdown countdown = new Countdown();
-        countdown.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "No active game. Start a new one with !countdown." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void verifyCountdownRulesTests()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!countdownrules" );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-
-        Countdown countdown = new Countdown();
-        countdown.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( " " + RED + "COUNTDOWN RULES:" + RESET );
-        verify( event,
-                times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "1) Get as close as you can to the target number using only the numbers given." );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( RED + "TIP: You do not have to use all the numbers."
-            + RESET );
-        verify( event,
-                times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "2) Answer with !solution <your answer> . Make sure to only use valid characters, such as numbers and + - * / ( ) . " );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "Breaking Rule 2 will subject you to a loss of 10 karma." );
-        verify( event,
-                times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "3) The closer you are to the target number, the more karma you will get (max. 10)." );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( RED
-            + "TIP: If you are over/under 200 you will be penalized 10 karma." + RESET );
-        verify( event,
-                times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "4) Use \" /msg CountdownB0t !solution <your answer> \" for your answers." );
-    }
-
-    private String getCountdownChannel()
-    {
-        String configLine = "";
-        String countdownChannel = "";
-
-        BufferedReader configFile;
-        try
-        {
-            if ( new File( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ).exists() )
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY ) );
-            }
-            while ( ( configLine = configFile.readLine() ) != null )
-            {
-                if ( configLine.length() > 17 )
-                {
-                    countdownChannel = configLine.substring( 0, 16 );
-                }
-                if ( "countdownChannel".equals( countdownChannel ) )
-                {
-                    break;
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            System.out.println( "Error reading config file: " + e.getMessage() );
-        }
-
-        return configLine.substring( 17 );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMeTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMeTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index af8381c3..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/DownOrJustMeTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,113 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.DownOrJustMe;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.verifyNoMoreInteractions;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
-
-public class DownOrJustMeTest
-{
-    private DownOrJustMe instance;
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        instance = new DownOrJustMe();
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testUnrelatedMessages()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "foobar" );
-
-        verifyNoMoreInteractions( event );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void test200Url()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme https://www.google.com/" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "LGTM! It's just you." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void test404Url()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme https://www.google.com/404" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "It responded with a non-2xx status code (404), but the host is up." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testNonResolvableHostname()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme secret-host-name-thats-not-gonna-be-resolved-anyhow" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "Nope, it's not just you. The hostname is not resolvable from here, too!" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testReachableHostWithNoHttpService()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme 129.146.47.116" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "Not sure about web services, but the host is definitely up." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testUnreachableHost()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme 1.2.3.4" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "Nope, it's not just you. The host looks down from here, too!" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testMulticast()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme 224.0.0.1" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "A multicast address? Seriously? Stop flooding the network already." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testLocalHost()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme 127.0.0.1" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "You wouldn't think I was that vulnerable, right?" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testDisallowedSubnet()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!downorjustme 10.0.0.1" );
-
-        instance.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event ).respondWith( "Ah-ha! Destinations in subnet 10.0.0.0/8 are not allowed." );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNewsTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNewsTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 2c602eaa..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/FakeNewsTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,102 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2019 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.FakeNews;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class FakeNewsTest
-{
-    private FakeNews fakeNewsClass = new FakeNews();
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        fakeNewsClass.limitCommand = new LimitCommand( 3, 3600 );
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( "#thefoobar" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void helpMsgTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!fakenews help";
-
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-
-        sb.append( "Fake News Categories (example: !fakenews canada):" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( " { canada }" );
-        sb.append( " { usa }" );
-        sb.append( " { belgium }" );
-        sb.append( " { france }" );
-        sb.append( " { india }" );
-        sb.append( " { russia }" );
-        sb.append( " { serbia }" );
-        sb.append( " { venezuela }" );
-        sb.append( " { newzealand }" );
-
-        String expectedReply = sb.toString();
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        fakeNewsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidCategoryTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!fakenews invalid";
-
-        String expectedReply =
-            "No news feed available for invalid. Try '!fakenews help' for available news categories.";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        fakeNewsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( expectedReply );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void defaultCommand()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!fakenews";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        fakeNewsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 3 ) ).respondWith( notNull() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void validCommand()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!fakenews russia";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        fakeNewsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 3 ) ).respondWith( notNull() );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/NewsTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/NewsTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 5a77b969..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/NewsTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,145 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2019 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.News;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class NewsTest
-{
-    private News newsClass = new News();
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        newsClass.limitCommand = new LimitCommand();
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( "#thefoobar" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void helpMsgTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!news help";
-
-        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
-        sb.append( "News Categories (example: !news toronto):" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  General:" );
-        sb.append( " { top }" );
-        sb.append( " { world }" );
-        sb.append( " { canada }" );
-        sb.append( " { usa }" );
-        sb.append( " { britain }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Open Source:" );
-        sb.append( " { redhat }" );
-        sb.append( " { fedora }" );
-        sb.append( " { openshift }" );
-        sb.append( " { opensource }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Topics:" );
-        sb.append( " { politics }" );
-        sb.append( " { business }" );
-        sb.append( " { health }" );
-        sb.append( " { arts }" );
-        sb.append( " { tech }" );
-        sb.append( " { offbeat }" );
-        sb.append( " { indigenous }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Sports:" );
-        sb.append( " { sports }" );
-        sb.append( " { mlb }" );
-        sb.append( " { nba }" );
-        sb.append( " { cfl }" );
-        sb.append( " { nfl }" );
-        sb.append( " { nhl }" );
-        sb.append( " { soccer }" );
-        sb.append( " { curling }" );
-        sb.append( " { skating }" );
-        sb.append( "\n" );
-        sb.append( "  Regional:" );
-        sb.append( " { bc }" );
-        sb.append( " { kamloops }" );
-        sb.append( " { calgary }" );
-        sb.append( " { edmonton }" );
-        sb.append( " { saskatchewan }" );
-        sb.append( " { saskatoon }" );
-        sb.append( " { manitoba }" );
-        sb.append( " { thunderbay }" );
-        sb.append( " { sudbury }" );
-        sb.append( " { windsor }" );
-        sb.append( " { london }" );
-        sb.append( " { waterloo }" );
-        sb.append( " { toronto }" );
-        sb.append( " { hamilton }" );
-        sb.append( " { montreal }" );
-        sb.append( " { newbrunswick }" );
-        sb.append( " { pei }" );
-        sb.append( " { novascotia }" );
-        sb.append( " { newfoundland }" );
-        sb.append( " { north }" );
-
-        String expectedReply = sb.toString();
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        newsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( line );
-        }
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidCategoryTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!news invalid";
-
-        String expectedReply = "No news feed available for invalid. Try '!news help' for available news categories.";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        newsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( expectedReply );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void defaultCommand()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!news";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        newsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 3 ) ).respondWith( notNull() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void validCommand()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!news business";
-
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        newsClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 3 ) ).respondWith( notNull() );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMeTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMeTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index cd0f03d2..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/RemindMeTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,180 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.RemindMe;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import java.util.Calendar;
-import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class RemindMeTest
-{
-
-    private MessageEvent event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-
-    private final String INVALID_TYPE_ERROR =
-        "The time type given is not valid (use d for day, m for month, s for second)";
-
-    private final String NO_TYPE_ERROR = "There was no type given for the time (use d/m/s)";
-
-    private final String TIME_TOO_LARGE_ERROR = "The value of time given is greater than the maximum Integer value";
-
-    private final String TOO_MANY_REMINDERS_ERROR =
-        "There is a limit of 10 reminders, please wait until one reminder ends to set a new one.";
-
-    @Before
-    public void setSender()
-    {
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        when( event.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "jucookBot" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void verifyReminderSentSeconds()
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        final String time = "5s";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test " + time;
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, getTimerTime( time ) );
-        TimeUnit.SECONDS.sleep( 7 );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "This is your reminder that you should: test" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void verifyReminderSentSecondsMultipleWords()
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        final String time = "5s";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test test " + time;
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, getTimerTime( time ) );
-        TimeUnit.SECONDS.sleep( 7 );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "This is your reminder that you should: test test" );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderInvalidType()
-    {
-        final String time = "1y";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, INVALID_TYPE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderInvalidTypeMultipleWords()
-    {
-        final String time = "1yetyer";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, INVALID_TYPE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderNoType()
-    {
-        final String time = "1";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, NO_TYPE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderNoTypeMultipleWords()
-    {
-        final String time = "1";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, NO_TYPE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderTimeTooLarge()
-    {
-        final String time = "1000000000000s";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, TIME_TOO_LARGE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void reminderTimeTooLargeMultipleWords()
-    {
-        final String time = "1000000000000s";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, TIME_TOO_LARGE_ERROR );
-
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void tooManyReminders()
-        throws Exception
-    {
-        final String time = "1s";
-        final String createMessage = "!remindme test test " + time;
-        final String failMessage =
-            String.format( "The given time of %s is invalid. The cause is %s.", time, TOO_MANY_REMINDERS_ERROR );
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 10, getTimerTime( time ) );
-        createRemindMeWithTime( createMessage, 1, failMessage );
-        TimeUnit.SECONDS.sleep( 10 );
-    }
-
-    private void createRemindMeWithTime( final String createMessage, final Integer invocations, final Calendar time )
-    {
-        for ( int i = 0; i < invocations; i++ )
-        {
-            when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( createMessage );
-
-            RemindMe remindMe = new RemindMe();
-            remindMe.onGenericMessage( event );
-        }
-        verify( event, times( invocations ) ).respondPrivateMessage( "Created reminder for " + time.getTime() );
-    }
-
-    private void createRemindMeWithTime( final String createMessage, final Integer invocations,
-                                         final String failMessage )
-    {
-        for ( int i = 0; i < invocations; i++ )
-        {
-            when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( createMessage );
-
-            RemindMe remindMe = new RemindMe();
-            remindMe.onGenericMessage( event );
-        }
-        verify( event, times( invocations ) ).respondPrivateMessage( failMessage );
-    }
-
-    private Calendar getTimerTime( final String time )
-    {
-        Calendar calendar = Calendar.getInstance();
-        int timeValue = Integer.parseInt( time.substring( 0, time.length() - 1 ) );
-        switch ( time.substring( time.length() - 1 ) )
-        {
-            case "d":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.DAY_OF_MONTH, timeValue );
-            case "m":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.MINUTE, timeValue );
-            case "s":
-                calendar.add( Calendar.SECOND, timeValue );
-        }
-        return calendar;
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TransferKarmaTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TransferKarmaTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index da66363c..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TransferKarmaTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,138 +0,0 @@
-/**
- * Copyright (C) 2020 Oldterns
- *
- * This file may be modified and distributed under the terms
- * of the MIT license. See the LICENSE file for details.
- */
-
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.KarmaTransfer;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.BufferedReader;
-import java.io.File;
-import java.io.FileReader;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.times;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.verify;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
-
-public class TransferKarmaTest
-{
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE = "cfg/vilebot.conf";
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY = "cfg/vilebot.conf.example";
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getUser() ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "senderNick" );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( getChannel() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidChannelTest()
-    {
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( "INVALID CHANNEL" );
-
-        String ircmsg = "!transfer receiver 10";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-
-        KarmaTransfer karmaTransfer = new KarmaTransfer();
-        karmaTransfer.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        String expectedResponse = "You must be in " + getChannel() + " to transfer karma.";
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( expectedResponse );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void transferToSelfTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!transfer senderNick 10";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-
-        KarmaTransfer karmaTransfer = new KarmaTransfer();
-        karmaTransfer.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        String expectedResponse = "Really? What's the point of transferring karma to yourself?";
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( expectedResponse );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidTransferCancelTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!transfercancel";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-
-        KarmaTransfer karmaTransfer = new KarmaTransfer();
-        karmaTransfer.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "No active transfer."
-            + " To transfer karma enter '!transfer <noun> <karma amount>'." );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidRejectTransferTest()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!reject";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-
-        KarmaTransfer karmaTransfer = new KarmaTransfer();
-        karmaTransfer.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "No active transfer."
-            + " To transfer karma enter '!transfer <noun> <karma amount>'." );
-    }
-
-    private String getChannel()
-    {
-        String configLine = "";
-        String channel = "";
-
-        BufferedReader configFile;
-
-        try
-        {
-            if ( new File( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ).exists() )
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY ) );
-            }
-            while ( ( configLine = configFile.readLine() ) != null )
-            {
-                if ( configLine.length() > 12 )
-                {
-                    channel = configLine.substring( 0, 11 );
-                }
-                if ( "ircChannel1".equals( channel ) )
-                {
-                    break;
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            System.out.println( "Error reading config file: " + e.getMessage() );
-        }
-
-        return configLine.substring( 12 );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TriviaTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TriviaTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 6e46f538..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TriviaTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,98 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Trivia;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import java.io.BufferedReader;
-import java.io.File;
-import java.io.FileReader;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class TriviaTest
-{
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    private Channel channel;
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE = "cfg/vilebot.conf";
-
-    private static final String VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY = "cfg/vilebot.conf.example";
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( getJeopardyChannel() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void verifyNotInChannelErrorTest()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!jeopardy" );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( getJeopardyChannel() + "blah" );
-
-        Trivia trivia = new Trivia();
-        trivia.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "To play jeopardy join: " + getJeopardyChannel() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void verifyRightChannelStartsGameTest()
-    {
-        String correctReply = "Welcome to Bot Jeopardy!";
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "!jeopardy" );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( getJeopardyChannel() );
-
-        Trivia trivia = new Trivia();
-        trivia.onGenericMessage( event );
-
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( correctReply );
-    }
-
-    private String getJeopardyChannel()
-    {
-        String configLine = "";
-        String jeopardyChannel = "";
-
-        BufferedReader configFile;
-
-        try
-        {
-            if ( new File( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ).exists() )
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE ) );
-            }
-            else
-            {
-                configFile = new BufferedReader( new FileReader( VILEBOT_CONFIG_FILE_SECONDARY ) );
-            }
-            while ( ( configLine = configFile.readLine() ) != null )
-            {
-                if ( configLine.length() > 16 )
-                {
-                    jeopardyChannel = configLine.substring( 0, 15 );
-                }
-                if ( "jeopardyChannel".equals( jeopardyChannel ) )
-                {
-                    break;
-                }
-            }
-        }
-        catch ( Exception e )
-        {
-            System.out.println( "Error reading config file: " + e.getMessage() );
-        }
-
-        return configLine.substring( 16, configLine.length() );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrectionTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrectionTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index dc387176..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/handlers/user/TwitterCorrectionTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,66 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.handlers.user;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.TwitterCorrection;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class TwitterCorrectionTest
-{
-
-    private String correctResponse =
-        "You seem to be using twitter addressing syntax. On IRC you would say this instead: ipun: message";
-
-    private TwitterCorrection tester = new TwitterCorrection();
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void validTwitterCorrectionTest1()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "@ipun hello world" );
-        tester.onGenericMessage( event );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respond( correctResponse );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void validTwitterCorrectionTest2()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( " Hello world @ipun hello world" );
-        tester.onGenericMessage( event );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respond( correctResponse );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void invalidTwitterCorrectionTest()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "Hello world" );
-        tester.onGenericMessage( event );
-        verify( event, never() ).respond( anyString() );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void additionalPostfixTwitterCorrectionTest1()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "@ipun: hello world" );
-        tester.onGenericMessage( event );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respond( correctResponse );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void additionalPostfixTwitterCorrectionTest2()
-    {
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( "@ipun, hello world" );
-        tester.onGenericMessage( event );
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respond( correctResponse );
-    }
-
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 0857ac3a..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/BaseNickTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,32 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.util;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.BaseNick;
-import org.junit.Test;
-
-import java.util.HashSet;
-import java.util.Set;
-
-import static org.junit.Assert.assertEquals;
-
-public class BaseNickTest
-{
-
-    @Test
-    public void baseNickTest()
-    {
-        String baseNick = "salman";
-
-        Set<String> nicks = new HashSet<>();
-        nicks.add( "salman" );
-        nicks.add( "salman|wfh" );
-        nicks.add( "salman_afk" );
-        nicks.add( "xsalman" );
-        nicks.add( "salman_server_room" );
-        nicks.add( "salman|server_room" );
-
-        for ( String nick : nicks )
-        {
-            assertEquals( baseNick, BaseNick.toBaseNick( nick ) );
-        }
-    }
-}
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/LimitCommandTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/LimitCommandTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 6df2bc87..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/LimitCommandTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,57 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.util;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.Vilebot;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.handlers.user.Ascii;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.LimitCommand;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.User;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.*;
-
-public class LimitCommandTest
-{
-
-    private Ascii asciiClass = new Ascii();
-
-    private MessageEvent event;
-
-    private String expectedReply = "    _  _     _     _               __                   _                    \n"
-        + "  _| || |_  | |_  | |__     ___   / _|   ___     ___   | |__     __ _   _ __ \n"
-        + " |_  ..  _| | __| | '_ \\   / _ \\ | |_   / _ \\   / _ \\  | '_ \\   / _` | | '__|\n"
-        + " |_      _| | |_  | | | | |  __/ |  _| | (_) | | (_) | | |_) | | (_| | | |   \n"
-        + "   |_||_|    \\__| |_| |_|  \\___| |_|    \\___/   \\___/  |_.__/   \\__,_| |_|   \n"
-        + "                                                                             \n";
-
-    @Before
-    public void setSenderAndChannel()
-    {
-        asciiClass.limitCommand = new LimitCommand( 2, 1 );
-        event = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        User user = mock( User.class );
-        Channel channel = mock( Channel.class );
-        when( ( event.getUser() ) ).thenReturn( user );
-        when( user.getNick() ).thenReturn( "jucook" );
-        when( event.getChannel() ).thenReturn( channel );
-        when( channel.getName() ).thenReturn( Vilebot.getConfig().get( "ircChannel1" ) );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void testWithAscii()
-    {
-        String ircmsg = "!ascii #thefoobar";
-        when( event.getMessage() ).thenReturn( ircmsg );
-        int maxUses = asciiClass.limitCommand.getMaxUses();
-        for ( int i = 0; i < maxUses + 1; i++ )
-        {
-            asciiClass.onGenericMessage( event );
-        }
-        for ( String line : expectedReply.split( "\n" ) )
-        {
-            verify( event, times( maxUses ) ).respondWith( line );
-        }
-        verify( event, times( 1 ) ).respondWith( "jucook has the maximum uses" );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index ea4edc92..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/MangleNicksTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,70 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.util;
-
-import com.google.common.collect.ImmutableSortedSet;
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
-import org.junit.Before;
-import org.junit.Test;
-import org.pircbotx.Channel;
-import org.pircbotx.PircBotX;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.JoinEvent;
-import org.pircbotx.hooks.events.MessageEvent;
-
-import static org.junit.Assert.assertEquals;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.mock;
-import static org.mockito.Mockito.when;
-
-public class MangleNicksTest
-{
-
-    private MessageEvent rcvPrivMsg;
-
-    private JoinEvent rcvJoin;
-
-    private ImmutableSortedSet<String> nickList = ImmutableSortedSet.of( "salman", "sasiddiq" );
-
-    @Before
-    public void setup()
-    {
-        Channel chan = mock( Channel.class );
-        rcvPrivMsg = mock( MessageEvent.class );
-        rcvJoin = mock( JoinEvent.class );
-        when( rcvPrivMsg.getChannel() ).thenReturn( chan );
-        when( rcvJoin.getChannel() ).thenReturn( chan );
-        when( chan.getUsersNicks() ).thenReturn( nickList );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void noNicks()
-    {
-        String messageText = "i am the karma police";
-        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvPrivMsg, messageText );
-        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvJoin, messageText );
-
-        assertEquals( returnText1, messageText );
-        assertEquals( returnText2, messageText );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void oneNick()
-    {
-        String messageText = "salman is a man of many bots";
-        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvPrivMsg, messageText );
-        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvJoin, messageText );
-        String expectedReturn = "namlas is a man of many bots";
-
-        assertEquals( returnText1, expectedReturn );
-        assertEquals( returnText2, expectedReturn );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void multipleNicks()
-    {
-        String messageText = "salman is actually sasiddiq";
-        String returnText1 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvPrivMsg, messageText );
-        String returnText2 = MangleNicks.mangleNicks( rcvJoin, messageText );
-        String expectedReturn = "namlas is actually qiddisas";
-
-        assertEquals( returnText1, expectedReturn );
-        assertEquals( returnText2, expectedReturn );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/StringUtilTest.java b/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/StringUtilTest.java
deleted file mode 100644
index 558d5524..00000000
--- a/vilebot/src/test/java/vilebot/util/StringUtilTest.java
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,34 +0,0 @@
-package vilebot.util;
-
-import static org.junit.Assert.assertEquals;
-
-import org.junit.Test;
-
-import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.StringUtil;
-
-public class StringUtilTest
-{
-
-    @Test
-    public void nullArgReturnsNull()
-    {
-        assertEquals( null, StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( null ) );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void emptyStringReturnsEtmpy()
-    {
-        assertEquals( "", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "" ) );
-    }
-
-    @Test
-    public void convertsToCapitalizationProperly()
-    {
-        assertEquals( "\0", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "\0" ) );
-        assertEquals( "Heh", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "heh" ) );
-        assertEquals( "123 test", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "123 test" ) );
-        assertEquals( "Some Fancy sentence. HERE", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "some Fancy sentence. HERE" ) );
-        assertEquals( "_", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "_" ) );
-        assertEquals( "YES NO MAYBE", StringUtil.capitalizeFirstLetter( "YES NO MAYBE" ) );
-    }
-}
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-long.xml
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/answer-short.xml
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/example-webpage.html
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/google-results.html
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/graffiti.flf
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/news-rss-feed.xml
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/test-image.png
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-cold.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-fast.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-hello.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-myself.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-running.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/translations-tower.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/trivia-example.json
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ttc-example-alerts.html
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/wikipedia-hot-dog.html
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ygk-weather-data.xml
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml b/vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/ytz-weather-data.xml
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt b/vilebot/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/fontlist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt b/vilebot/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/fortunelist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt b/vilebot/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/inspirationsindex.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt b/vilebot/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/inspirationslist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv b/vilebot/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/kaomojilist.tsv
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt b/vilebot/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt
rename to vilebot/src/test/resources/wordlist.txt
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/startProdRedisInstance.sh
rename to vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh
diff --git a/vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot/startTestRedisInstance.sh
similarity index 100%
rename from vilebot-quarkus/startTestRedisInstance.sh
rename to vilebot/startTestRedisInstance.sh

From 4a2bd3d5db63bc3c371e875772122fb6609a84cd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2021 20:14:02 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 78/79] Split too long message, mangle !speak and !gospel

- Make Client parameter get it from event
- Fix VileBot1 default nick
---
 .../bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java | 17 +++---
 .../irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java   |  1 -
 .../oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java | 61 ++++++++++++++++---
 .../vilebot/services/MarkovService.java       | 11 ++--
 .../src/main/resources/application.properties |  4 +-
 vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh             |  2 +-
 6 files changed, 72 insertions(+), 24 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index 1761d520..e8dc79ab 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -17,6 +17,7 @@
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Actor;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.ClientLinked;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
@@ -213,8 +214,8 @@ private void implementOnPrivateMessage(Method method, OnPrivateMessage onPrivate
                     if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(PrivateMessageEvent.class)) {
                         return Optional.of(privateMessageEventResultHandle);
                     } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
-                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
-                                bytecode.getThis()));
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ClientLinked.class, "getClient", Client.class),
+                                                                        privateMessageEventResultHandle));
                     } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
                         return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
                                 privateMessageEventResultHandle));
@@ -288,8 +289,8 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
                     if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(ChannelMessageEvent.class)) {
                         return Optional.of(channelMessageEventResultHandle);
                     } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(Client.class)) {
-                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
-                                bytecode.getThis()));
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ClientLinked.class, "getClient", Client.class),
+                                                                          channelMessageEventResultHandle));
                     } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
                         return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
                                 channelMessageEventResultHandle));
@@ -327,8 +328,8 @@ private void implementHandler(Method method, Handler handler) {
             } else if (ActorEvent.class.isAssignableFrom(eventClass)) {
                 ResultHandle actorResultHandle = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
                         eventResultHandle);
-                ResultHandle client = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "getBot", Client.class),
-                        responseByteCodeCreator.getThis());
+                ResultHandle client = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ClientLinked.class, "getClient", Client.class),
+                                                                                  eventResultHandle);
                 ResultHandle target = responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Actor.class, "getName", String.class),
                         actorResultHandle);
                 responseByteCodeCreator.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(Client.class, "sendMessage", void.class, String.class, String.class),
@@ -382,8 +383,8 @@ private void sendResponse(Method method, BytecodeCreator processorBytecode, Resu
 
         if (!method.getReturnType().isAssignableFrom(void.class)) {
             BytecodeCreator replyBytecodeCreator = processorBytecode.ifNotNull(stringReturnValue).trueBranch();
-            ResultHandle splitResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.invokeVirtualMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(String.class, "split", String[].class,
-                    String.class), stringReturnValue, replyBytecodeCreator.load("\n"));
+            ResultHandle splitResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.invokeStaticMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(IRCService.class, "splitIrcMessage", String[].class,
+                    String.class), stringReturnValue);
             AssignableResultHandle indexResultHandle = replyBytecodeCreator.createVariable(int.class);
             replyBytecodeCreator.assign(indexResultHandle, replyBytecodeCreator.load(0));
             BytecodeCreator replyLoopBytecodeCreator = replyBytecodeCreator.whileLoop(conditionCreator ->
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
index ca73eb3c..0c91bcf3 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/BotStartupService.java
@@ -27,7 +27,6 @@ public void onStartup(@Observes StartupEvent e) throws InterruptedException {
             Client client = botNameToClient.computeIfAbsent(ircService.botNick(),
                     clientCreator::createClient);
             ircService.getChannelsToJoin().forEach(client::addChannel);
-            ircService.setBot(client);
         });
         for (Client client : botNameToClient.values()) {
             client.connect();
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
index 64040c3e..55f7d33c 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/runtime/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/services/IRCService.java
@@ -3,10 +3,19 @@
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.ConfigProvider;
 import org.eclipse.microprofile.config.inject.ConfigProperty;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.defaults.DefaultClient;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.util.Cutter;
 
+import java.nio.ByteBuffer;
+import java.nio.CharBuffer;
+import java.nio.charset.CharsetEncoder;
+import java.nio.charset.CoderResult;
+import java.nio.charset.StandardCharsets;
+import java.util.ArrayList;
 import java.util.Collection;
 import java.util.Collections;
 import java.util.List;
+import java.util.function.Function;
 
 public abstract class IRCService {
     @ConfigProperty(name="vilebot.default.nick")
@@ -25,6 +34,50 @@ public String getMainChannel() {
         return defaultChannel;
     }
 
+
+    private static List<String> cutMessage(String message, int maxLengthInBytes) {
+        final Function<String, Integer> byteLength = string -> string.getBytes(StandardCharsets.UTF_8).length;
+        if (byteLength.apply(message) <= maxLengthInBytes) {
+            return List.of(message);
+        }
+        // Taken from https://stackoverflow.com/a/48870243
+        List<String> out = new ArrayList<>();
+        CharsetEncoder coder = StandardCharsets.UTF_8.newEncoder();
+        ByteBuffer chuck = ByteBuffer.allocate(maxLengthInBytes);  // output buffer of required size
+        CharBuffer in = CharBuffer.wrap(message);
+        int pos = 0;
+        while(true) {
+            CoderResult cr = coder.encode(in, chuck, true); // try to encode as much as possible
+            int newpos = message.length() - in.length();
+            String s = message.substring(pos, newpos);
+            out.add(s); // add what has been encoded to the list
+            pos = newpos; // store new input position
+            chuck.rewind(); // and rewind output buffer
+            if (! cr.isOverflow()) {
+                break; // everything has been encoded
+            }
+        }
+        return out;
+    }
+
+    /**
+     * Splits a message into individual lines to be sent to IRC
+     * (Limit 512 bytes per line, including command)
+     */
+    public static String[] splitIrcMessage(String message) {
+        final int IRC_MESSAGE_LIMIT = 486; // 512 bytes including command name
+        String[] messageLines = message.split("\n");
+        List<String> parts = new ArrayList<>(messageLines.length);
+        for (String messageLine : messageLines) {
+            parts.addAll(cutMessage(messageLine, IRC_MESSAGE_LIMIT));
+        }
+        String[] messageParts = new String[parts.size()];
+        for (int i = 0; i < messageParts.length; i++) {
+            messageParts[i] = parts.get(i);
+        }
+        return messageParts;
+    }
+
     public Collection<String> getChannel(String channel) {
         if ("<<default>>".equals(channel)) {
             return Collections.singleton(getMainChannel());
@@ -39,13 +92,5 @@ public Collection<String> getChannel(String channel) {
         return List.of(channel.split(","));
     }
 
-    public Client getBot() {
-        return bot;
-    }
-
-    public void setBot(Client bot) {
-        this.bot = bot;
-    }
-
     public abstract Collection<String> getChannelsToJoin();
 }
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
index 3f6a357c..227c30a0 100644
--- a/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
+++ b/vilebot/src/main/java/com/oldterns/vilebot/services/MarkovService.java
@@ -2,8 +2,11 @@
 
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.database.LogDB;
+import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.MangleNicks;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.RandomProvider;
 import com.oldterns.vilebot.util.Zalgo;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.helper.ActorEvent;
 
 import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
 import javax.inject.Inject;
@@ -26,15 +29,15 @@ public class MarkovService
     RandomProvider randomProvider;
 
     @OnMessage( "!speak" )
-    public String speak()
+    public String speak( ActorEvent<User> event )
     {
-        return generatePhase();
+        return MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, generatePhase() );
     }
 
     @OnMessage( "!gospel" )
-    public String gospel()
+    public String gospel( ActorEvent<User> event )
     {
-        return Zalgo.generate( generatePhase() );
+        return MangleNicks.mangleNicks( event, Zalgo.generate( generatePhase() ) );
     }
 
     private String generatePhase()
diff --git a/vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties b/vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties
index 52ba84b6..5f86ec5f 100644
--- a/vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties
+++ b/vilebot/src/main/resources/application.properties
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 # Public configuration
-vilebot.default.nick=QuarkusVileBot1
+vilebot.default.nick=VileBot1
 vilebot.default.channel=#channel
 vilebot.jeopardy.channel=#jeopardy
 vilebot.omgword.channel=#omgword
@@ -20,4 +20,4 @@ vilebot.twitter.consumer-secret=
 vilebot.twitter.access-token=
 vilebot.twitter.access-token-secret=
 vilebot.wolfram.key=
-vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key=
\ No newline at end of file
+vilebot.jaziz.thesaurus-key=
diff --git a/vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh b/vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh
index fe04d15c..870d5b6c 100755
--- a/vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh
+++ b/vilebot/startProdRedisInstance.sh
@@ -36,4 +36,4 @@ mkdir -p "$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION"
 mkdir -p log
 
 echo "Starting production redis docker container..."
-$DOCKER run -it --rm=true --memory-swappiness=0 --name redis_quarkus_prod -p 6379:6379 -v "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH":/usr/local/etc/redis/redis.conf:ro -v "$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION":/data:z redis:5.0.6
\ No newline at end of file
+$DOCKER run -it --rm=true --name redis_quarkus_prod -p 6379:6379 -v "$VB_REDIS_CONF_PATH":/usr/local/etc/redis/redis.conf:ro -v "$VB_REDIS_DB_LOCATION":/data:z redis:5.0.6

From 7d9330211cb987c64e1a23d39bc3575866a169bd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Christopher Chianelli <chris.chianelli@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2021 22:05:27 -0400
Subject: [PATCH 79/79] Add README; Allow using Channel as a parameter

---
 .../bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java |   4 +
 .../oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java |   6 +
 .../bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java   |   5 +
 vilebot/README.md                             | 173 ++++++++++++++----
 4 files changed, 156 insertions(+), 32 deletions(-)

diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
index e8dc79ab..f95674c5 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/main/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/deployment/IrcServiceImplementor.java
@@ -294,6 +294,10 @@ private void implementOnChannelMessage(Method method, OnChannelMessage onChannel
                     } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(User.class)) {
                         return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ActorEvent.class, "getActor", Actor.class),
                                 channelMessageEventResultHandle));
+                    } else if (parameterType.isAssignableFrom(Channel.class)) {
+                        return Optional.of(bytecode.invokeInterfaceMethod(MethodDescriptor.ofMethod(ChannelEvent.class,
+                                                                                                         "getChannel", Channel.class),
+                                                                               channelMessageEventResultHandle));
                     }
                     return Optional.empty();
                 });
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
index f101d46f..908ad3c9 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ExampleService.java
@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.NoHelp;
 import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnChannelMessage;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.Client;
+import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User;
 import org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent;
 
@@ -62,6 +63,11 @@ public void userArg(User user) {
         mock.userArg(user);
     }
 
+    @OnChannelMessage("!channel")
+    public void channelArg(Channel channel) {
+        mock.channelArg(channel);
+    }
+
     @OnChannelMessage("!event")
     public void eventArg(ChannelMessageEvent event) {
         mock.eventArg(event);
diff --git a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
index eec92c49..3ed4a6a8 100644
--- a/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
+++ b/quarkus-irc-bot/deployment/src/test/java/com/oldterns/irc/bot/test/ServiceImplementationTest.java
@@ -89,6 +89,7 @@ public void testHelpChannel() {
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !list <arg0:number>[,<arg02>...] }");
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !client }");
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !user }");
+        assertThat(message).contains("{ !channel }");
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !event }");
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !nick <arg0:nick> }");
         assertThat(message).contains("{ !multiarg <arg0:nick> <arg1:number> }");
@@ -182,6 +183,10 @@ public void testCommandListeners() {
         Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).eventArg(event);
         Mockito.reset(exampleService);
 
+        event = fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!channel");
+        Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).channelArg(event.getChannel());
+        Mockito.reset(exampleService);
+
         fireMessage.apply("user", "#channel", "!nick myNick");
         Mockito.verify(exampleService, only()).nickArg(Nick.valueOf("myNick"));
         Mockito.reset(exampleService);
diff --git a/vilebot/README.md b/vilebot/README.md
index e2c448c2..5828c21f 100644
--- a/vilebot/README.md
+++ b/vilebot/README.md
@@ -1,54 +1,163 @@
-# code-with-quarkus project
+# VileBot
 
-This project uses Quarkus, the Supersonic Subatomic Java Framework.
+## System Requirements
 
-If you want to learn more about Quarkus, please visit its website: https://quarkus.io/ .
+- Podman or Docker
+- Java 11 or higher
 
-## Running the application in dev mode
+## Using VileBot
 
-You can run your application in dev mode that enables live coding using:
-```shell script
-./mvnw compile quarkus:dev
+### Building
+
+Before building VileBot, ensure quarkus-irc-bot is built. To build VileBot, run the following command:
+```shell
+./mvnw clean install
 ```
 
-> **_NOTE:_**  Quarkus now ships with a Dev UI, which is available in dev mode only at http://localhost:8080/q/dev/.
+### Running
+
+To run VileBot, run the following command:
+```shell
+./server-control.sh start
+```
 
-## Packaging and running the application
+### Stopping
 
-The application can be packaged using:
-```shell script
-./mvnw package
+To stop VileBot, run the following command:
+```shell
+./server-control.sh stop
 ```
-It produces the `quarkus-run.jar` file in the `target/quarkus-app/` directory.
-Be aware that it’s not an _über-jar_ as the dependencies are copied into the `target/quarkus-app/lib/` directory.
 
-If you want to build an _über-jar_, execute the following command:
-```shell script
-./mvnw package -Dquarkus.package.type=uber-jar
+### Dev Mode
+
+When developing VileBot, you might want
+to try Dev Mode. First, start a test Redis database using the following command:
+```shell
+./startTestRedisInstance.sh
+```
+Next, run this command to launch Quarkus Dev Mode:
+```shell
+./mvnw quarkus:dev
 ```
 
-The application is now runnable using `java -jar target/quarkus-app/quarkus-run.jar`.
+## VileBot File Structure
 
-## Creating a native executable
+### .env
 
-You can create a native executable using: 
-```shell script
-./mvnw package -Pnative
-```
+This file hold API keys and VileBot configuration. This file should *NEVER* be committed to the repository.
+
+### src/main/resources/application.properties
+
+This file is an example configuration for VileBot1. Properties in `.env` will overwrite properties in `application.properties`.
+
+### src/main/resources
+
+Contains all data files that VileBot needs in order to work.
+
+### db
+
+Store the redis database.
+
+### cfg
+
+Store the redis config.
+
+### log
+
+Store VileBot and Redis logs.
+
+### utils
+
+Database migration utils (no migration is currently necessary, but might be useful if a future database migration occurs).
+
+## VileBot Java Package Structure
+
+### database
+
+Store services that directly interact with Redis.
+
+### services
 
-Or, if you don't have GraalVM installed, you can run the native executable build in a container using: 
-```shell script
-./mvnw package -Pnative -Dquarkus.native.container-build=true
+Store services user interact with.
+
+#### services.admin
+
+Store services that require an active admin session to use.
+
+### util
+
+Store various utilities used in various services.
+
+## Testing
+
+Testing is done using JUnit 5, AssertJ and Mockito.
+
+### Mocking URLs
+
+Many VileBot services connect to URLs in order to function. To test these services, you need to mock the responses from the URLs. You can do this easily with the `TestUrlStreamHandler`:
+
+```java
+@QuarkusTest
+public class MyServiceTest
+{
+
+    @Inject
+    MyService myService;
+
+    @Inject
+    TestUrlStreamHandler urlStreamHandler;
+
+    @Test
+    public void testService()
+        throws MalformedURLException
+    {
+        urlStreamHandler.mockConnection( "http://example.com",
+                                         MyServiceTest.class.getResourceAsStream( "expected-response.html" ) );
+        assertThat( myService.execute() ).isEqualTo( "Expected Content" );
+    }
+}
 ```
 
-You can then execute your native executable with: `./target/code-with-quarkus-1.0.0-SNAPSHOT-runner`
+## A brief overview of quarkus-irc-bot
+
+VileBot works via `quarkus-irc-bot`, which is a Quarkus extension contained in this repo. `quarkus-irc-bot` generate handlers for annotated methods. Annotations:
+
+- `@OnMessage(template)`: Generate a handler that is triggered on any message (private/channel). It will be registered on all bots.
+- `@OnChannelMessage(template, channel=${vilebot.default.channel})`: Generate a handler that is triggered on a message in a particular channel (defaults to the default channel). It will be registered on all bots in the channel.
+- `@OnPrivateMessage(template)`: Generate a handler that is triggered on private message only. It will be registered to all bots.
+- `@NoHelp`: Instructs `quarkus-irc-bot` to not add this service to the automatically generated `!help` command.
+
+### Template format
+
+A template is a regex with some additional features:
 
-If you want to learn more about building native executables, please consult https://quarkus.io/guides/maven-tooling.html.
+- A message is automatically trimmed before being parsed by the regex.
+- The regex has an implicit starting `^` and ending `$` (i.e. it does not trigger if it occurs in the middle of a message).
+- It allows parameters, which are in the format `@javaIdentifier`. It expects a parameter with exactly that name to be present in the annotated method, which will be passed the parsed value.
+- Automatically passing optional parameters detailing who sent the message and where it was sent.
 
-## Provided examples
+For example:
+
+```java
+import javax.enterprise.context.ApplicationScoped;
+
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.Nick;
+import com.oldterns.irc.bot.annotations.OnMessage;
+
+@ApplicationScoped
+public class MyService {
+
+    @OnMessage("!call @nick @amount")
+    public String theMethod(User user, Nick nick, Integer amount) {
+        return Nick.getNick(user).getBaseNick() + " has called " + nick + " for " + amount + " karma!";
+    }
+}
+```
 
-### RESTEasy JAX-RS example
+Creates a regex similar to `^!call (?<nick>[A-Za-z0-9]+) (?<amount>[0-9]+)$`. When `bob` sends the message "!call alice 100", `theMethod` is called with `(User(bob), Nick(alice), 100).
 
-REST is easy peasy with this Hello World RESTEasy resource.
+### Automatic parameters
 
-[Related guide section...](https://quarkus.io/guides/getting-started#the-jax-rs-resources)
+- `org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.User`: The user that sent the message. Has a `sendMessage(String)` method that can be used to private message the user.
+- `org.kitteh.irc.client.library.element.Channel`: (`@OnChannelMessage` only) The channel the message was sent at. Can be used to send future replies.
+- `org.kitteh.irc.client.library.event.channel.ChannelMessageEvent`:  (`@OnChannelMessage` only) the source event.
\ No newline at end of file